


You Can't Plan for Everything

by RivDeV



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Consensual, Dirty Talk, Dominance, Fluff, Kink Negotiation, Knotting, Knotting Dildos, Lots of Sex, M/M, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Romance, Scenting, Sex Toys, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Victor Helping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2018-09-07 11:40:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 168,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8799475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RivDeV/pseuds/RivDeV
Summary: Yuuri forgets that he has a scheduled heat coming up until it's just a couple weeks away. He scrambles to get everything ready in time, including deciding whether he'll spend it alone or with someone. Victor only wants to help.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't usually write Omegaverse things, but I needed an excuse for Yuuri to plan to have sex and for Victor to be low-key freaking out about it.  
> (Just in case: There is a brief mention of Yuuri having previous 'relations' with Phichit.)

Yuuri’s sitting at his desk late at night when the clock on Yuuri’s laptop clicks to midnight and a notification set for that day makes a small ‘ding’. Yuuri’s eyes are drawn to it out of instinct, and he almost goes back to his chat with Phichit without thinking, the meaning of the notification not clicking in right away. He’s just trying to enjoy a night of relaxation before his day off tomorrow; he and Victor have decided he needs a break from training to let his muscles rest and repair.

He pauses halfway through typing something to his friend when it finally sinks in. The ‘Start Planning for Heat’ notification is still hanging in the corner of his screen.

Honestly, he’d totally forgotten about it. Years ago he’d set up a strict schedule with his doctor for when he’d need to go through his Omega heats. Because of his high-level athletic profession, he’d been given a more stringent schedule, and instead of the usual once-a-year planned heat that most Omegas went through, he’d been given the go-ahead to suppress his heats down to once every two years.

 _‘Yuuri?’_ Phichit’s message dings through on their chat.

He deletes what he’s been writing and quickly types out a _‘brb’._

He pulls up his calendar to check. It can’t possibly be two years. But the notification tells him otherwise.

After checking his calendar it’s official: he has one month before he should have his heat. It couldn’t possibly come at a worse time. He’s training with Victor right now - this is his big year and the Cup of China is only a couple months away. He doesn’t have time to take a week off for a full-blown heat.

But he can’t ignore it. It’s still a little controversial for Omegas to keep their heats to once a year, if only because there are health concerns. The truth is, most Omegas just don’t have the time to have the usual four heats a year. Suppressing heats for two years is as far as doctors are willing to go unless there are severe medical problems. His calendar doesn’t lie; Yuuri definitely hasn’t had a heat in two years.

He’s thankful to his calendar for planning and reminding him of the dates it should happen because he would have forgotten. Of course, there’s always a bit of wiggle-room for when he should have it, but that room is only a couple weeks wide.

Right now, his schedule says that in 37 days from now he should be finished with his heat. It’s less than 20 days after that he’ll be competing in the Cup of China. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for training. Even if he stops his suppressants now his heat won’t come on for a week. But that probably won’t leave him enough time to get things ready.

Fuck.

The schedule that he has set already is still probably the best option, but even thinking about taking the time off from working with Victor seems such a waste.

He really doesn’t have another option, though. If he had been smart about it, he would have had his heat during the spring when he wasn’t training.

He stares at his computer screen blankly for a moment, trying to think of another way out of this. He can’t just stop his heat for a few more months. As soon as the Cup of China hits, it’s going to be continuous work until at least after the Grand Prix Final, if not longer.

He also knows that suppressing for that long has physical detriments for Omegas, and he wants to be at the peak of his ability going into the competitions.

He sighs loudly, realising that he really doesn’t have a choice.

There’s a lot to get ready in time for his heat. He thinks for a moment about what he did two years ago, and it comes back quickly as he’s staring at his chat. Phichit.

Two years ago, he was living in Detroit and rooming with the Thai skater. He’s had heats where he keeps himself locked away in his room by himself. He doesn’t really mind it, but having someone there, even if it’s a Beta like Phichit, does help a bit.

Four years previous, after just having moved to Detroit, he’d hired a professional Omega-helper for his heat. He had planned to do the same thing the second time, but when he’d mentioned it to Phichit, his friend had offered himself. They’d both had the time and Celestino had been understanding.

Even though Phichit is a Beta, he’d been so helpful during his heat. Yuuri groans, wondering what he’s going to do this time around.

Japan is a little more conservative in their beliefs about helping Omegas during their heats. Detroit has a surplus of people willing to be bought as play-things for a week. They are much more rare, and much more expensive here in Japan. Not to mention, Yuuri is living in a small town, so the selection, if any, will be small.

He supposes he could get through the week by himself - something most Omegas in Japan do - but thinking about the past few years and how much easier and less stressful the week had been with someone there next to him makes him think twice about going solo.

Phichit sends him another message: ‘ _everything okay?’_

Yuuri should probably tell Phichit. However, he’s concerned that if he tells Phichit he’s worried about doing the week solo, and so close to competitions, that Phichit will offer to fly out and spend the week with him again. He can’t make Phichit do that, no matter how much he’d prefer the company.

He slowly types out his message to Phichit.

_‘Sorry. Just realised I have to start planning for my heat. Seems like it wasn’t that long ago I had my last one.’_

Phichit’s response is quick. _‘Oh! Is it that time again? Have you looked into getting a companion? I wish I could be there to help you again.’_ He sends a winking emoji too, and that makes Yuuri blush a little.

 _‘I’ll figure it out.’_ Yuuri replies to him.  _‘I’m just worried about taking a week off of training.’_

 _‘What did Victor say?’_ Phichit types back to him.

That makes Yuuri stop. He’ll have to tell Victor about his heat. He doubts Victor even knows he’s an Omega. He uses scent-masking soap and takes suppressants, so he’s always mistaken for a Beta. It’s easier to be taken seriously in professional sports if he identifies that way.

He’s pretty sure Victor is an Alpha, but his scent it mild and Yuuri has only really noticed his natural scent when he’s close. Sometimes Betas will wear Alpha cologne so they come across as someone more dominating though, so it’s not out of the question that he’s a Beta, but somehow, Yuuri doubts that Victor is that kind of person.

His facetime rings with Phichit’s caller ID. He probably waited too long to answer and Phichit is worried about him. He answers, glad to see his friend’s face when the call picks up.

“Hey!” He says to Phichit, giving him a small smile.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay,” Phichit tells him, looking into the camera a little troubled.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Yuuri tells him, and he finds it isn’t a lie. “It just snuck up on me. It definitely wasn’t in my training regime.”

“Ah, that’s too bad,” Phichit says, leaning back. He’s obviously sitting in his bed. Yuuri feels a surge of affection for his friend. The fact that he’s willing to call Yuuri this late at night to make sure he’s okay is nicer than Yuuri thinks he deserves sometimes.

“Yeah. But I can’t do anything about it, so….” Yuuri shrugs.

“Have you talked to Victor?” Phichit asks again.

“No,” Yuuri tells him and he can see Phichit’s brows furrow. “I forgot about it until about five minutes ago. I’ll talk to him tomorrow or something.”

“Yeah?” Phichit says.

Yuuri isn’t sure he’s actually going to talk to Victor about it. He’ll try asking for a week of vacation. Maybe he’ll be able to convince Victor to go back to Russia for that week. His coach doesn’t need to know that he’ll be spending a week with a dick of some sort, real or silicone, shoved up his ass.

“If he gives you any shit, I’ll talk to him.” Phichit says firmly.

“Thanks,” Yuuri says, and he means it. “Don’t worry about it, though. I’ll figure something out. I’ve been doing since I was thirteen.”

“If you really need it, I could try and make some time to come out and help you,” Phichit offers what Yuuri was afraid he would.

“No, no,” he says quickly. He knows Phichit’s offering because they’re good friends; neither of them have any particular romantic feelings towards one another. Phichit usually prefers female Beta’s anyway. And Yuuri…Yuuri doesn’t really have preferences. He’d probably be happy living his whole life without a sexual partner. It’s usually only during his heats that he craves sexual intimacy. “No. I’ll be fine. You have training. I don’t want to take you away from that. Plus, I’m sure I’ll be able to find someone. If not, I’ve made it through alone before.”

Phichit sighs. “Yeah, I know you have. But that doesn’t mean it doesn't suck. It’s always better if you have someone to help you through it, right? You don’t want to hurt yourself with the Cup of China coming up.”

“Yeah, I know,” Yuuri says, running his hand through his hair. It’s not like he has any friends here in Hasetsu he can call up and ask.  He’ll just have to do some research. “Hey, can I call you tomorrow?” Yuuri asks. “I kind of want to start planning tonight.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s fine,” Phichit says, a little surprised. “Make sure you get some sleep tonight, though, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Yuuri agrees.

“And tell me if you need anything. Seriously, Yuuri. Anything.”

“Okay, okay. Yeah. I will.” He promises. He doesn’t tell Phichit that he won’t ever ask him to fly out to Japan. They say their goodbyes and Yuuri ends the call.

He stretches in his chair, then does a search on his laptop for his ‘Heat’ folder. Inside are blank copies of legal documents, should he decide to hire someone, and some other necessary files, but what he’s looking for is his checklist.

First things first, he’ll need to make sure he can get the time off from training. Unfortunately, that’s the thing he’s most worried about. He doesn’t want to talk to Victor about this, but he doubts Victor will let him off easily.

He’ll also need to either book a hotel room or he’ll need to order some supplies off the internet to make sure his room here is scent-proof enough to stay. If he IS going to hire someone, he’ll need to meet and sign papers with them before he goes off his suppressants.

He counts back on his calendar from when he hopes to start his heat. In two weeks time he’ll have to stop taking his suppressants. And then it will be a week of waiting for his body to flush out the synthetic hormones before his heat starts.

That week before the heat will be hectic too. He’ll probably start nesting. He did last time, at least.

Thinking about what he has to get ready, he panics a bit. There’s already so much prep he’ll have to do. It means he’ll spend the day training, and then instead of relaxing in the onsen, he’ll have to be getting things ready. He sighs again because it’s such a hassle. The pleasure of a heat is nice, but he’d rather just suppress them until his life is a little more stable.

He goes to bed not long after, knowing he’ll need his rest for tomorrow. He’ll probably spend the whole day planning. And he’ll need his strength to deal with Victor.

* * *

 

“Soooooo,” Yuuri starts, poking at his breakfast the next morning. It’s just the two of them this late in the morning. Victor is awake, but still looking sleepy sitting across from him. They’re not supposed to be training today, which usually Yuuri is grateful for, but now that he knows he’ll be out of commission for at least a week, he almost wants to suggest they do a little bit today.

“Mmnn?” Victor yawns.

Yuuri doesn’t want to talk to Victor about this, but the sooner he can secure his week, the better. He needs to plan around that time. “You haven’t been back to Russia in a while. Aren’t you missing St. Petersburg? Your family?”

Victor scowls at that. “We’ll be returning for the Rostelecom Cup soon.”

Crap. Yuuri had almost forgotten about that. “You don’t want to go back to visit sooner?” Yuuri asks, pushing his egg around his plate with his chopsticks.

“No,” Victor says slowly, looking more alert. “Why.”

“Oh. No reason.” Yuuri says, refusing to meet Victor’s gaze. There goes Yuuri’s hope that he could just get Victor to take a vacation himself.

“Yuuri-” Victor starts, hand creeping across the table towards Yuuri’s hand.

“I need a vacation,” Yuuri says without preamble. He’s usually not this forward, but he really does need to start getting ready. With his training schedule, two weeks before he goes off his suppressants is pushing it.

“What.” Victor’s voice is hard, and it makes Yuuri look up. This time Victor really is frowning. “Yuuri, I hardly think that you need a vacation. You took a lot of time off before I came here. Do you not think you need to train for the Cup of China?”

“No, no,” Yuuri tries to do some damage control. “I’m happy to keep working. I just- I need a week. Just seven days. We can work around that, can’t we?”

Victor sighs and pushes his breakfast away. “I’m going to need a reason,” he says.

“I just need it.” Yuuri says. He would rather Victor be exasperated at him for demanding time off than having to tell Victor what he needs it for. He has a feeling that, although Victor probably doesn’t care what his secondary gender is, it might change something between them. He doesn’t want to risk it.

“Yuuri, we can’t just take a week off.” Victor tells him. “You’re still not completely ready for the next competition. Taking a week off would be dangerous at this point. It could make you complacent, it could ruin the good work you’ve been doing, it could set us back three weeks.”

Yuuri already knows all of this, but he just doesn’t have a choice. “I know.” He tells Victor. He doesn’t want his coach to think he isn’t serious. “I’m sorry, it’s personal. I just need to have the time off.”

“Not good enough, Yuuri,” Victor says, lips pursed. “I came here to help you, and now you’re trying to get out of training. How do you think that reflects on me as a coach?”

That hurts Yuuri. He doesn’t want Victor to feel like that.

Victor continues, “Do you not want to skate for me-”

“I have to have my heat,” Yuuri blurts out. Shit. He didn’t want to tell Victor that, but he was panicking, he can’t have Victor thinking he’s not grateful for his coaching.

It’s quiet in the room. Victor is just staring, open-mouthed, at Yuuri.

“Crap,” Yuuri says quietly. “Look, I don’t want to take time off, but I can’t suppress my heat for any longer without some detriments,” he decides to tell Victor.

“You’re an Omega.” Victor says with a blank face.

Yuuri sighs. Here it comes. Now that Victor knows, he’ll treat Yuuri differently. Kinder. He doesn’t want to be treated like he’s weaker, more fragile. “Yes. I’m an Omega. It doesn’t change who I am. Just means that I have to take a bit of time for a necessary biological function.”

“You’re an Omega,” Victor says again.

Yuuri stays quiet, noticing that Victor isn’t even really looking at him.

“And you’re going to have your heat.” Victor says slowly, as if he’s trying to convince himself of what Yuuri has said. He blinks several times, and then there’s a big smile on his face, as if he wasn’t just told that Yuuri needed to take time off for sex. “Ah! Well, I suppose it can’t be helped, can it? What days is it? I’ll make sure to plan our training around them.”

Yuuri certainly didn’t expect him to take it like this - like it’s no big deal. “Oh. Well, if everything goes according to plan, I think it will start on Monday the 10th, which means I should be finished by the 17th.” He’s definitely embarrassed that he has to give Victor the dates, but it’s better if they’re clear about them now.

“So far away?” Victor asks.

“Well, yeah,” Yuuri says, scratching the back of his head nervously. “I need to spend some time planning it first, you know?”

“Oh. Really?” Victor asks, leaning across the table in interest. “I’ve helped Omegas in heat before, but I didn’t know that there was so much planning involved.”

That sounds a little strange to Yuuri. “Did they not ask a few weeks in advance?”

Victor pauses to think about it, one finger lightly resting on his lips. If he’s not sure about it, then out of the three secondary genders, he's definitely not an Omega. Victor answers after a moment, “Yes. They did. Is that part of the planning?”

Yuuri flushes because an image of Victor helping an Omega in heat flashes in his mind and his imagination helpfully supplies a fantasy where he’s at the centre of it. He gathers enough wherewithal to push the fantasy aside and say, “Well, it’s not like you can really consent during a heat. But there’s more to planning it than that. A lot of people don’t have someone to help them through it.”

“Really?” Victor asks, looking interested. “Let me help you, then.”

Yuuri freezes. Victor’s just said it so nonchalantly, like it’s no big deal. Is he seriously offering to help Yuuri with his heat? That’s crazy.

“I’m good at planning things,” Victor says and Yuuri’s heart falls.

He’s just offering to help plan Yuuri’s heat, not spend it with him. Of course. Why would Victor ever want to spend Yuuri’s heat with him? He’s getting far too presumptuous with Victor living with him.

At the same time, Victor wanting to help plan Yuuri’s heat is just as strange. It’s not something Omegas let others be privvy too, with the exception being mated pairs. “Uuum. No, it’s fine. I know what I’m doing.” Yuuri tells him.

Victor pouts, slumping across the table. “But Yuuuri, I’m your coach. I’m supposed to help you with things like this.”

“No. Not really,” Yuuri tells him. Celestino had never inquired about his heats. The only time they’d talked about it was when he’d first signed on and told him his schedule so they could work around it, and then briefly the time Phichit had requested some time off too.

“Why nooooot?” Victor whines.

Yuuri can give him all sorts of reasons: He’s not a part of it. It’s too embarrassing. It’s none of his business. It’s not professional to force your help on an Omega. Victor doesn’t actually have any idea what kind of things Yuuri needs to plan. 

The list is long. Yet, there’s something comforting about Victor asking to help. Even if he did agree, he’s not sure what he’d get Victor to do. Most of it would be too embarrassing. “I’m fine. I don’t need help. It’ll just be easier for me to do it myself without having to explain everything to you.” That’s the best answer he can give - not outright rejecting Victor, but being reasonable at the same time.

“Fine,” Victor pouts.

They sit in silence while Yuuri finishes the last of his breakfast.

“I didn’t know.” Victor finally says, looking up at him from where he’s still draped over the table.

“Most people don’t. And I like it that way.” Yuuri tells him.

“Since I know about you now, do you want to know what I am?” Victor asks him, eyes keenly fixed on Yuuri’s face.

“No. That’s fine. I don’t need to know,” Yuuri says, standing and grabbing his empty plate. The truth is, he’s actually very curious. But the answer shouldn’t matter, so there’s no point in finding out.

“Okay,” Victor responds. He doesn’t follow Yuuri into the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was pretty tame, but let me tell you, it's going to get really steamy, really fast. And Victor's going to start sticking his nose into things.  
> Let me know if there's something specific you'd like to see, because I'm always open to adding more smut. (Seriously, send me your kinks and I'll write them)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took longer than I expected (because I have to edit it myself), but it’s a bit longer than the last one, so hopefully that makes up for it. The next chapter will be up either late Wednesday or early Thursday after I’m finished my last exam. Chapters after that should take no more than a day or two.  
> I truly want to say thank you to everyone that’s told me they like this. It’s been overwhelmingly lovely and I really appreciate it.

The first thing Yuuri has to do is make a doctor’s appointment. He chooses a familiar doctor - an Omega - that he’s seen before. He schedules it for the day before he’s supposed to go off his suppressants.

Pre-heat examinations are pretty common. It’s just a precaution, especially for him, since it’s been two years, to make sure that everything is in working order. It’s also nice to go over his plan with someone else who might be able to point out flaws or things he’s forgotten to take care of.

Plus, he needs a new prescription of birth control. He’s still not sure if he’s going to find someone to share his heat with, but it’s advised that every Omega go on birth control during their heats, just in case of accidents.

The next thing he does is check the price of hotel rooms. It’s always preferable to have heats at home where smells are familiar, and if anything goes wrong, he has help. However, because he lives at an onsen, his home is a lot more public. That means there’s a higher chance of an Alpha catching a whiff of him and breaking the door down.

It had been quite an experience when Yuuri had his first heat at 13. As with a lot of people, no one had really expected him to present as anything other than Beta, so when his first heat hit, out of nowhere, he and his family were woefully unprepared.

Both his parents are betas, and his sister is one too, so none of them have really had much experience beyond what they’d learned in school and on tv for how to care for a presenting Omega.

His family had to close the onsen for his entire heat. Thankfully, because it had been his first heat, it hadn’t lasted more than three days. His mother had told him afterwards that there had been a small group of Alphas that waited outside the onsen gates all three days. As creepy as it is, a newly presented omega always smells the sweetest; has the most pull.

His next heat had happened only two months later, and it had been a full-blown one at that. They’d done their best to scent-proof the living quarters of the onsen, but it was barely enough. His father had spent most of his day camped at the entrance to their house, turning away Alphas that would wander through. They hadn't been aggressive, just persistent.

After that, once his heats had gone on a regular cycle, his parents had rented a room at omega-friendly hotel a 15 minute walk away. It was difficult for Yuuri at first because he was going through his heats alone in an unfamiliar place that didn’t smell of him or family, and he was still 13, too young to really know how to take care of himself for a week. He'd always return home weak, malnourished, dehydrated, and completely burnt out. It took him days to recover.

It's not like he had a choice in having them, though. The world health organization has a mandate that says Omegas are not allowed to go on suppressants until the age of 16, once a large portion of their puberty has occurred. Those rules mean that Yuuri had spent almost three years having a heat every three months. It put a strain on his parent's bank account to have to rent a room for almost two weeks every few months (heats were not always predictable, and nesting behaviour required Yuuri have access to the space beforehand), but it was safer than the onsen.

By the time he was eighteen, he’d had enough of missing practices, of letting his parents take care of him like that, that he practically demanded his doctor give him permission to suppress for more than a year. He’d moved to Detroit not long thereafter.

In any case, he’s contemplating just renting a room for his upcoming week, like he always used to. However, the scent-blocking technology is much better now than it used to be, so he wonders if he might be able to have it here.

It’s still probably a little dicey, being so close to naked Alphas, but if he can contain his heat-scent to his room, and maybe just a little bit in the rest of the living quarters, he should be fine. That's provided Victor isn’t an Alpha, or if he is, thinks of Yuuri as family. If Yuuri smells like family, his scent won't be a stimulation, so it won't be a problem. If he's a Beta, then it won't matter.

The prices for an omega-friendly hotel for the week are ridiculous, he finds soon enough. He certainly doesn’t have that kind of money just lying around. Especially if he’s thinking of paying someone to help him.

He spends the next three hours looking at scent-blockers online. It doesn’t actually look that bad, he finally decides. There are door and window attachments that will stop the flow of air into the rest of the house, and they’re easy to install and de-install. Plus, there are air-fresheners that boast a 99% rate for blocking Omega scents. They're advertised as the commercial-grade ones used in the Omega-friendly hotels.

If Yuuri can make his room safe, then it really is a toss-up between whether he should just pay the money to stay at a hotel safely, or make things a little more comfortable for himself here. If he’s hiring someone, he should probably get a hotel. He doesn’t want Alpha scent permeating his room for weeks afterwards.

That brings him to the thing he’s been dreading - looking for someone he might hire. He really does want someone to spend the week with. He hasn’t spent a heat alone since before he turned eighteen, or more specifically, three heats previous. The last one was with Phichit, the time before, when he was twenty, was with Mark, a 24-year-old he’d found through a website recommended to him by a female Omega he was friends with in school.

He tentatively types a search into Google. He gets a surprising amount of results. It looks like there’re two companies that cater to the Hasetsu area. He pulls up the first website, checking the options that are available. Half are Betas, and half are Alphas. He filters them to Betas only.  

Mark had been a beta too, like Phichit, but very knowledgeable about Omega heats. Yuuri probably would have gone solo that year if it hadn’t been for the heat before that. When he turned eighteen, and was legally allowed to buy a sex-partner, both Mari and Minako had offered to help pay for him to get an Alpha since his last couple heats since he’d turned sixteen and gone on suppressants had been rough. He’d spent an entire month debating it - wondering if he really wanted his first time to be with a stranger, but in the end he’d agreed.

He had been living in Tokyo for a few months for training, so it was easier finding someone. His name was Katashi, and he was 25, a little older than Yuuri had been hoping for, but he’d been so sweet to the flustered, innocent Yuuri. They’d met up four times before his actual heat. Katashi had taken him out to eat, talked about the things Yuuri liked or disliked, allayed all his fears, talked him through the process and just generally went out of his way to make Yuuri comfortable.

Yuuri agreed after their ‘third date’ mostly because, although Katashi was an Alpha, he had a medical condition which made it impossible for him to knot. All that meant was his penis was a touch smaller than a usual Alpha, he couldn’t produce the same quantity of sperm, and he wouldn’t ever be tied to someone after an orgasm.

He was the ideal candidate for the job - someone who smelled like an Alpha, had the basic instincts, but couldn’t ever get someone pregnant. Essentially, he was a Beta with a better scent. That’s what Yuuri had been the most afraid of - being tied to someone for hours with a knot. He’d heard horror stories of being tied together for three hours, or the knot being too large it hurt or even tore things. Katashi was the ideal candidate for Yuuri’s first time. And it had been a wonderful first time.

Katashi had shown up as soon as Yuuri called him when his heat started. He was there with all the accoutrements they’d need. And, because he was so practiced with dealing with Omega scent, he was cognisant the entire time, being careful with Yuuri and talking him through everything.

That had been one of his best heat weeks. Up until then, he didn’t think that having a partner would make a difference, but it did. Compared to his solo heats, he rarely was overtaken by the heat-fog he was so used to. He remembered almost all the days of his heat and was even able to get some reading done in between sessions. Having someone there to fulfil his needs also made things less painful (no unnecessary wrist strain) and satiated him more.

After having lost his ‘virginity’ to Katashi, (something that Yuuri never cared about anyway, and didn’t really understand the value of) he started to think about sex more. Training had taken most of his attention, but it was then that he started to notice other people more. And he’d definitely wanted to have sex with a few of them, outside of his heat even.

But, even if he hadn’t been really shy, he’d never been interested enough to ask. It’s not like Yuuri doesn’t like sex. He does. He just doesn’t have the urge to have sex with strangers. It’s only ever been for people he knows. But by the time he knows them, and maybe finds them sexually attractive, he’s already friends and can’t be bothered to change their relationship when it’s already working well.

The only exception has been Victor. But even then, Yuuri supposes that he’s spent years reading about him in magazines or on the internet, and it was almost like he knew the man. He stops that thought right away. He doesn’t want to think about his sexual feelings for Victor when he’s trying to find a heat-mate.

After knowing how easy heats could be if he had someone to share them with, when he was in Detroit and it was actually affordable to pay someone, he decided to try again. Mark was almost as good as Katashi, if only because Yuuri did have a bit of pent-up sexual frustration (it had just been him and his hand since Katashi). His dick was just as pleasing as Katashi’s, probably because they were both had the same beta-features. His scent wasn’t as good, though, and he was less experienced, so he left Yuuri a little less satiated than with Katashi. It was all good, though, because he’d been just as attentive, and that’s all that really mattered.

Yuuri had gotten lucky with Phichit the time afterwards. He was happy to have a Beta to have sex with - still scared about Alpha knots. Besides, Phichit was his friend and he was already used to his scent. Plus, Yuuri had been sexually attracted to him for a while by that point. It wasn’t something he’d really wanted to act on, but the heat was a good excuse.

It had been a good week - he’d actually had a lot of fun tangled up in bed with Phichit. Phichit had enjoyed it too. As a young Beta, he’d never shared a heat with an Omega before. They’d even talked about it afterwards and decided that neither really wanted a relationship, not because Yuuri was an Omega and Phichit was a Beta, but because they enjoyed their friendship more than the sex.

It’s not unusual for Omegas and Betas to have sexual relationships. Although male Omegas need an Alpha to produce children, Omegas are just as likely to marry other Omegas or Betas, as Alphas. There is no rule that Alphas have to mate with Omegas. The only ‘advantage’ Alphas have is their potential to bond (only Alphas and Omegas have the scent gland needed) and ability to knot, but at least half of Omegas don’t really care for that feature.

After shamefully purchasing a knotting dildo online a few years back, and even having it used on him during his heat, Yuuri is pretty sure he’s one of the Omegas that really enjoy it. It’s not necessary for him to mate with an Alpha though, especially if he can fake it with something silicone.

Victor picks that moment to walk into Yuuri’s room with some lunch. “Yuuri!” He sings as he walks in without knocking.

Yuuri startles and immediately blushes bright red. He’s searching heat-partners, and after thinking about his previous ones, he’s got a bit of a situation in his pants. Something he definitely doesn’t want Victor to see. He shoves his chair as far as he can under his desk and tries to slam the lid of his laptop closed but his pen and notepaper are resting on the edge, so it doesn’t click shut.

“You haven’t left your room all morning,” Victor says, putting a plate of veggies with a sandwich on Yuuri’s desk. “I thought you might be hungry.”

“Oh, ah, thanks,” Yuuri stammers. His face feels really hot, and having Victor in the room isn’t actually helping the erection he has.

“What’re doing in here anyway?” Victor asks, coming close and leaning over his shoulder. “I would have thought you might want to go outside for some sunshine, before the snow comes.”

Before Yuuri can stop him, Victor’s reaching over him to open up his laptop.

“Victor!” Yuuri tries to stop him, but Victor’s too fast. Yuuri’s glad that at least he wasn’t watching porn, but the website that’s still up is pretty damning too.

He’s changed the filter to ‘Alpha’, so there are profile pictures of people in different states of undress. Most of the Beta options are biological male because, generally speaking, an Omega, no matter their primary gender, wants a certain kind of anatomy for their heats. The Alphas are a little a different, the website has every variation of primary gender since their secondary gender is all that really matters for a job like this. Yuuri has his preferences, which is obvious in the three choices he’s made for previous partners, but he’s open to just about anything if it ends up working for him.

“What’s this?” Victor asks as he scrolls down the page.

“Victor,” Yuuri whines, trying to push his hands away from the laptop so he can close it.

“These are… alphas for hire?” Victor asks, catching on to what the website’s offering.

“Yes,” Yuuri says, blushing even harder.

Victor is pressed against the back of his chair and his breath is caressing Yuuri’s ear. His dick twitches in interest. This close, he can smell that slight scent of Victor - the one that reminds him of an Alpha and it makes his knees weak and his dick even harder. It’s so embarrassing to be sitting here, aroused, with Victor so close and unaware. He’s glad he’s a regular user of scent-blockers or he’s sure that, Alpha or Beta, Victor would be able to smell the arousal on him.

Not to mention, Victor now knows that Yuuri’s looking to hire someone. It will become obvious soon that it’s because he doesn’t have anyone in his phone to call up and ask for a favour. Victor should know that - he’s been living with Yuuri and knows the friends he has. It doesn’t make it any less embarrassing.

“Why do you need to hire an Alpha?” Victor asks as he clicks on one of the links. It brings up a profile page with more pictures. Pictures not only of the man’s body, but his Alpha penis as well.

Yuuri groans and shoves his burning face into his hands. Why does Victor have to do this to him? He can’t _not_ explain it now; otherwise Victor is going to assume Yuuri likes to do this in his spare time. “I was thinking of hiring someone for my heat,” Yuuri says into his hands.

It comes out muffled, so Victor asks him to repeat himself.

“I was thinking of hiring someone for my heat,” he says again. “I’m not sure if I will,” he feels the need to add, because he still isn’t sure, “but if I am, I have to start contacting them now.”

“Really?” Victor says, draping himself over Yuuri’s shoulder and pressing his cheek against the side of Yuuri’s face. “You don’t have anyone you can call?”

“Noooo,” Yuuri groans. “Who would want to?” He says before he can stop himself. It’s not entirely true - he does know a couple people that would probably agree if he asked - Phichit being one of them. But none of them live near here, so it’s too much of a hassle for them to fly in just to help Yuuri get himself off.

“Plenty of people, I’m sure,” Victor says. “Have you not read your fan pages?”

Yuuri turns his head a little to look at Victor for that. Victor is still staring at Yuuri’s laptop, slowly scrolling down the page. “I’m not having sex with a stranger, Victor,” Yuuri tells him outright.

“These are strangers, though, aren’t they?” Victor asks.

“They’re professionals!” Yuuri argues.

Victor raises one eyebrow, but still takes his gaze away from the list of Alphas.

“Besides,” Yuuri says, trying to explain why something like that would be a bad idea, “almost no one knows I’m an Omega. I don’t need the whole world finding out just because one fan can’t keep their mouth shut.” The professional websites he’s looking at all have non-disclosure policies attached to them.

“I suppose you’re right,” Victor concedes, sighing a little. “So, who have you chosen?” He asks, clicking to the next page.

“No one.” Yuuri says softly. “I just started looking when you barged in here.”

“Do you have a preference for Alphas?” Victor asks, looking at Yuuri finally out of the corner of his eye.

Yuuri sighs and leans back, his head resting on Victor’s shoulder. He's about to tell Victor that, no, he doesn’t have a preference. But then he remembers how much he enjoyed his time with Katashi and how much he enjoys the knotted dildos he’s bought, and he’s just not sure. “Don’t know,” he admits honestly. “I don’t think it matters that much.”

“Doesn’t it?” Victor asks, going back to scrolling through the list. “Have you had an Alpha lover before?” Victor asks. He’s stopped scrolling, but he’s not looking at Yuuri, just staring at the screen.

Yuuri fidgets a little. At least his erection has flagged a bit, so he’s not too worried about Victor seeing anything under the desk. He’s hesitant to say that he’s been with an Alpha because although Katashi was an Alpha, he didn’t have main biological components that differentiate Alphas and Betas. But Yuuri thinks it’s rude to dismiss Katashi as anything but an Alpha, so he says, “Yes.” He can feel Victor go tense behind him. He decides he should clarify, “Just one, but the majority of the people I’ve been with are Betas.”

“Just one,” Victor repeats. He drops his chin to Yuuri’s shoulder, and it must be awkward for him to be standing behind Yuuri’s chair like this, but he seems comfortable enough. “How many lovers, then?” Victor asks. Yuuri’s sure he can see a bit of a blush on Victor’s nose, but his face is too close to really tell.

“None of your business,” Yuuri says. It really isn’t. Victor doesn’t need to know about his past sexual experiences. He may be Yuuri’s coach - but his sex life has nothing to do with his skating. Well, mostly. He does need to perform ‘Eros’.

“Yuuuuuri,” Victor pouts. “I just want to help!”

“I’m pretty sure I know what I’m doing,” Yuuri tells him.

“What about this one?” Victor asks, ignoring Yuuri and clicking on a profile of a beautiful-looking female Alpha.

Yuuri scrunches his nose. It’s not like she isn’t gorgeous, but she really isn’t his type. He’s not that interested in breasts. Yuuri’s probably in a minority, though, because most male Omegas love having female Alphas - penetration can easily switch between partners, allowing for much longer sessions. Victor was probably assuming Yuuri was the same way.

Victor must see the look on his face, though, because he backs out of the profile page and scrolls back up the list. “Okay, if not her…” he keeps scrolling. “What about this one?” He asks, clicking on the profile of a younger half-Japanese man.

Yuuri knows what Victor’s doing - he's trying to suss out his preferences by offering contrary options. He doesn’t really want to play into Victor’s game, but the profile actually does look really good. Besides, it’s not like Victor won’t figure it out eventually anyway. “Yeah, he’s a bit better,” Yuuri admits.

“Mmnn,” Victor hums, clicking a button to put the profile into an on-site favourites feature. He clicks out of the page, and actually navigates back to the Beta profiles instead.

It’s so obvious what Victor is trying to do: determine his preferences for primary and secondary genders. Why he doesn’t just ask him outright, Yuuri’s not sure. Then he remembers that Victor _has_ asked him before, but he refused to answer.

He has half a mind to tell Victor that he’d rather look at Alphas right now - the price difference between the two groups isn’t that big, and he’s been thinking that he’d like to try the ‘full Alpha experience’ at least once, if only to see what he prefers.

But Victor clicks on a profile that Yuuri must have missed on his first scroll-through. “Wow,” Yuuri can’t help but say. The man in the profile is gorgeous. Victor-levels of gorgeous. And a quick glance at his other pictures tells Yuuri that the man it _fit_ and very well endowed.

“Ah,” Victor says, clicking on the ‘favourites’ button again. “Even more your type?”

Yuuri licks his lips, but doesn’t answer. Definitely his type. He would still like to look at the Alphas, though.

“See anything you like?” Victor asks, going back to the Beta page.

Yuuri opens his mouth to tell Victor that he can do it himself from here, but Victor is looking at him expectantly, so Yuuri decides to humour him for a little while.

“This one?” He says tentatively, pointing to one that caught his eye when he first scrolled through.

Victor clicks on the profile, and Yuuri reads it quickly. He assumes that Victor isn’t going to read the profiles because he’s picked up some Japanese while living here, but he’s not that good.

Yuuri is about to swallow his pride and ‘favourite’ him for another look later when Victor makes a scoffing sound. “It’s photoshopped,” Victor says, pointing to a shirtless picture.

“Really?” Yuuri says, leaning in close to the screen. The picture does look a little weird, now that he’s staring at it.

“You’re going to be deceived if you’re not careful,” Victor tells him. “Let me help you. A pair of unbiased eyes will help.” He pulls back from Yuuri. “Wait here,” he says.

Yuuri isn’t sure where he’d go. He’s still half-hard in his jeans, so he won’t be moving for a while, at least until he’s alone again. Victor dashes from the room. Yuuri isn’t sure he wants Victor to help him this in-depth, but he can’t help but agree that maybe a second pair of eyes won’t be horrible. Besides, Victor will probably whine until Yuuri lets him help anyway.

Victor comes back with a chair from his room and Yuuri scoots his chair over to Victor can settle in next to him. Victor then passes him the lunch he’s almost forgotten about. He puts the plate on his lap and picks up the sandwich.

Victor takes control of his laptop again, scrolling through.

“That one,” Yuuri says, pointing with his pinkie to another man.

Victor clicks on the profile, then clicks through the extra pictures on the profile page. Yuuri almost chokes on his mouthful of sandwich when Victor pauses on a picture of the man’s erect penis. “It’s kind of short,” Victor says. “It might be okay for a female Omega, but for your heat, you’ll probably want someone more well-endowed,” Victor says.

Yuuri has to swallow before he really does choke.

“I’m just being practical,” Victor says when he notices Yuuri floundering. “There’s no need to be embarrassed.”

Yuuri holds a hand to his chest, hoping to calm his racing heart.

“I mean, I have my own preferences,” Victor says, clicking on another profile. “I prefer penis’s with a wider girth. The size doesn’t matter much, as long as it can reach my prostate.”

Yuuri freezes, staring that Russian man. There’s a buzzing in his ears as the blood in his body can’t decide whether it should settle in a blush, or pool in his groin. He can’t have heard Victor right. Is Victor telling him that he… likes dicks?

“You’re not an Omega,” is all Yuuri can say, and his voice sounds far away.

“No,” Victor says, turning to give him a lecherous grin. “Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy anal sex, though.”

“Oh.” Yuuri says weakly.

“Although,” Victor continues, seemingly completely unembarrassed, pressing a finger to his lips, “I don’t really have a preference giving or receiving one way or the other. I do also enjoy vaginas. But I find with men I can usually have it both ways, so I might prefer them?” He shrugs, then goes back to looking at the website, as if he didn’t just tell Yuuri his sexuality. 

Yuuri can only stare at the older man as he continues to search the list. He’d wondered what Victor’s preferences were, but he never expected it to be ‘bisexual, leaning towards male’.

Yuuri knows Victor has always skipped over the sexual preference questions he’s received from the media, just as he always ignores questions about his secondary gender, but, when he looks at the way Victor acts around him, around other people, the way he’s presented himself on the ice before, it seems strange that no one has figured out Victor is bisexual. Maybe it's because the lovers he’s been photographed with have all been women that Victor’s admission to liking receiving anal sex is such a surprise.

“Anyone else?” Victor asks, breaking Yuuri out of his thoughts.

“Oh. Um. No. I don’t think so?” Yuuri says. “Can you go back to the Alpha page?” He immediately shoves a carrot in his mouth so he won’t say anything else.

“Okay,” Victor says, a little surprised. He clicks back to the Alphas. “I thought you preferred Betas?” He asks.

“I don’t really… I don’t care about secondary gender that much,” Yuuri admits after he’s finished chewing. He feels like he needs say it because Victor has just told him about his own. “I… prefer men, obviously.” He squirms a little uncomfortably in his chair because this is probably the first time he’s said it out loud to anyone. “But I was thinking… that maybe, for this heat, I would try an Alpha? I’ve never really-” he stops. He doesn’t need to get into the details about the sex he’s had before and what he’s craving.

“Okay,” Victor says easily. He clicks on one of the top profiles. “What about him? He looks nice.”

Yuuri licks his lips. Yes. Victor definitely has good taste. “Yeah,” he agrees.

Victor grins and adds him to favourites. He keeps scrolling.

“Him,” they both say at the same time as a profile appears.

Yuuri giggles and Victor laughs loudly. Apparently, they have similar taste in men. They check his profile, but nothing really stands out as strange. He has a beautiful dick, if the pictures in the profile are anything to go by.

“Too long for my tastes,” Victor says as he clicks past the pictures. “I just don’t think my ass can handle an Alpha’s size that well.”

Yuuri’s heard similar complaints from Betas he knows. Omegas have a different anatomy than Alphas and Betas in that area, so they can handle more length. It just means that Victor would probably prefer Betas or Omegas since their dicks are roughly the same average size.

Yuuri pauses in chewing on another carrot. Wait. Victor prefers wide girth and more average size. Just like… Yuuri. He coughs into his shirt because that’s something he should not be thinking about when Victor is sitting next to him.

“You okay?” Victor asks, looking over at him.

“I’m fine,” Yuuri coughs and tries to turn all his attention to either his lunch or the profiles they’re looking at.

The two of them spend the better part of an hour looking through profiles. Victor has saved eight possible men to the ‘favourites’ section for Yuuri.

“Okay, that’s it,” Victor says as they hit the end of the last page.

There’s another website that Yuuri wants to look at too, but he thinks he’d rather try that one in private. Looking at these profiles with Victor has been bad for his heart and his dick. “Okay. Well, I’ll go through them again, see if any really appeal to me.”

“Are you going to contact them?” Victor asks, leaning back in his chair.

“Maybe,” Yuuri says, fiddling with the edge of the empty plate that’s on his desk. “I still don’t know if I’m going to hire anyone. I think I might try doing it solo this year.”

Victor sighs a little. “Yuuri, you don’t have to deny yourself.”

Yuuri frowns at him.

“If it’s something you want, do it.” Victor says. “Take chances, work for what you want. Have I not been trying to teach you that for the past few months?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri agrees. What he really wants is not something he can easily have. “I’ll contact some of them anyway, just to see.”

“Good,” Victor says, then stands up. “And if you need anything, want anything, just let me know,” Victor says in a mimic of what Phichit had offered to Yuuri last night. Yuuri’s mouth goes dry. Victor can’t possibly be offering what Yuuri thinks he might be. He thought he was offering the same thing this morning, but it turned out to just be help with planning, so that must be what he means this time too.

“Okay,” Yuuri replies around a thick tongue. He can’t make himself ask what Victor is offering.

Victor stands there, looking into Yuuri’s eyes for half a minute, waiting to see if Yuuri says anything else.

When Yuuri stares back, and then averts his eyes, Victor sighs again, running a hand through his hair. “Alright. Just… let me know.” He places a light hand on Yuuri’s shoulder in comfort, then grabs Yuuri’s empty plate and goes towards the doorway, leaving the extra chair at Yuuri’s desk.

Before he leaves, he turns around with a mischievous smirk, any trace of seriousness from before gone, “And, if you ever need some _alone time_ ,” he draws out the words, “then you should probably lock your door. Otherwise, who knows what I might see.” He winks at Yuuri and leaves, laughing at Yuuri who’s spluttering.

Yuuri leaves the door open the rest of the afternoon, just so Victor knows he’s _not_ doing anything like that behind his closed door, although he almost wishes he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Victor’s beginning to get invested in Yuuri’s heat and it’s only going to get worse. I wonder how long Yuuri can stay oblivious.  
> Like I said before, if you have any kinks you’d like to see, please tell me. I’ve started planning for future chapters, so there’s definitely room to add things you like.  
> Also, please let me know if you liked this - it really does help me to write faster.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it! I’m exhausted and kind of hungover, so if there are still mistakes left in here, just blame it on that. Your responses to this fic have made my week, so I made sure this chapter was ready to go for today.
> 
> Updates should be very regular now - within a day or two. Since this chapter is a little shorter, I’ll try to get something else ready for tomorrow.

By the time dinner rolls around, Yuuri has been through the other heat-mate website and has sent messages off to the top seven candidates he’s found. Two of them are betas (including the one Victor had found for him) and the rest are Alphas. He’s still worried about having an Alpha to share his heat, but he figures it’s worth it to at least meet with them. He’s looked into hotels as well. If he’s hiring someone, then he most likely won’t be staying at the onsen. 

It’s so much cheaper, though, if he just scent-proofs his room and goes through it solo. He finds his mom in the kitchen, cooking before supper. 

“Hey, Mom,” he says, bumping into the side of her affectionately. 

“Yuuri!” She says happily. She gestures for him to bend a little to her level and gives him a small kiss on his forehead. “Supper’s almost ready if you want to wait with Victor in the dining room.”

“Okay.” Yuuri says. “But, Mom, ah…” even after all this time, it’s still embarrassing to talk to his mom about his sexual needs, but he does need to tell her. “I’m going to be having my heat in a couple weeks.”

“Oh! I was wondering if that was coming up soon,” his Mom says as she stirs the curry in the pot. 

“Yeah. So… I just wanted to let you know. I’m thinking of renting a hotel, but I’ve been looking into ways of staying here too. Is that okay?”

“Of course, dear,” she says, smiling at him. “They have new products that will make it easy for you to stay here,” she says thoughtfully, “I saw them on the tv. Wouldn’t it be nicer for you to stay at home?”

“Yeah.” Yuuri admits. He doesn’t tell her that it might not be possible if he’s getting a heat-companion. He doesn’t need his mother to know about what kind of sex he’ll be having - it’s already embarrassing enough she knows what kind of things go on without someone there. He doesn’t need her knowing he’s had sex before either. Only Mari and Minako know that he’s not a virgin, well, Victor now too, and he’s fine with his mother never finding out. 

“You could ask Vic-chan, you know,” his mother suggests. 

Yuuri’s knees wobble. “What?” He asks weakly. He can’t believe that his mother is suggesting he ask his coach to spend an entire week having sex with him. “I- Victor and I- we’re not. I don’t.” He can’t find the words to tell her what a horrible idea it is for him to ask Victor. 

“Nonsense,” she says. “That boy likes you, I’m sure he’d be happy to help you out. Besides, what is he going to do for a full week while you’re locked in your room? It could keep you both occupied.”

Yuuri is blushing so hard he’s surprised he’s not getting a nosebleed. “No, Mom, it’s not like that.”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” she says. She doesn’t seem to be affected by this awkward conversation they’re having. At least, it’s awkward to Yuuri. 

“What about that lovely boy, your skating friend, you spent it with last time?” She asks. 

Yuuri’s eyes go wide. “What?!” He yells. How does she know about Phichit? He hasn’t told anyone about that. It’s only him and Phichit that should know. And Phichit isn’t the type to ‘kiss and tell’. 

“Oh. I called you back then. Your father had gone into the hospital because he fainted, it was nothing, mind you, but I called several times, so he must have thought it was really important. He answered your phone. Told me you were indisposed, but he was taking good care of you. He’s a really sweet boy. Do you think he’d come visit if you’re so set on not asking Vic-chan?”

Yuuri can’t remember another day in his life where he’s been so embarrassed so many times. He had no idea Phichit had talked to his mother on the phone. Well, there goes Yuuri’s hopes of keeping his mother in the dark about his love life. 

“No. He’s- he’s in Thailand. I couldn’t ask him to come out here for this.”

“If you’re sure.” She says knowingly. “But that just makes Vic-chan the better option, doesn’t it?”

“I’m not asking him,” Yuuri tells her sternly. “I’d rather do it alone.”

“Okay.” She’s still smiling. She pours the curry into another bowl and hands it to Yuuri. “Be a dear and take this out, won’t you? I’ll bring the rice and the soup.”

Yuuri, defeated, heads out of the kitchen and into the dining room. He places the curry on the table and sits across from his sister who’s already stretched out on the floor. 

“What’s got you all upset looking?” She asks, taking a drag from her cigarette. 

“Nothing,” he lies. 

“You and Victor both,” she sighs. “None of my business though. If you don’t want to talk about it, it doesn’t matter to me.”

“Victor?” Yuuri asks, leaning against the table. 

“Yeah. He was moping around here all afternoon.”

That’s strange. He’d been in a good mood when he left Yuuri’s room earlier. “Maybe he’s upset about missing a week of practice?” Yuuri wonders to himself.

“Missing practice?” Mari repeats. 

Yuuri grimaces. He knows his sister will find out about his heat when he disappears for a week, but he doesn’t really want to have to out-right tell her. “My heat,” he says. 

“Oh. Is it coming up soon?” Mari asks and Yuuri nods. “Have you asked Victor to share it with you?”

“Why is everyone assuming that’s what I’m going to do?” He moans, letting his head smack down on the table. He mother joins them, placing the rest of the food on the table. 

“Because the two of you have the hots for each other,” Mari say nonchalantly. 

“We do not!” Yuuri yells. 

“Don’t what?” Victor says, sliding into the room. 

“Don’t!” He warns his sister. He’s done a good job so far in hiding his long-time crush on Victor from the man himself. He doesn’t need his sister to out him now. 

Victor looks between the two of them, but doesn’t say anything. He sits down next to Yuuri, pressing his leg up against Yuuri’s under the short table. “Did you send any messages?” Victor asks Yuuri as he reaches for the rice. 

“Yeah, I did.” Yuuri say, relishing in Victor’s casual touch. 

“What messages?” Mari asks. 

“Oh, Yuuri’s thinking of spending his heat with someone. He’s just been looking online.” Victor says casually. 

Yuuri drops the spoon he’d been using to get some rice. “Victor!” He admonishes as his sister laughs. “Please don’t go around telling people my business!”

“She’s your sister.” He tried to defend himself.

“She doesn’t need to know!” He hisses. 

“Sorry,” Victor makes an apologetic face. 

“Whatever, Yuuri. Whatever you need to do.” Mari says, grinning around her almost-finished cigarette. “I mean, there are probably better options than paying someone…” she trails off, looking pointedly at Victor, but he’s busy putting curry into his bowl. 

“I don’t know why everyone’s concerned about my heats all of a sudden,” Yuuri mutters sourly. 

“It’s unusual for someone your age to go through a heat alone,” Victor says. “We just want to make sure it’s a good experience. It gets harder to go through heats alone when you get older.”

“You didn’t even know Omegas spend weeks planning for heats before this morning,” Yuuri accuses, “so I don’t know why you think you’re an expert on them now.”

“I’ve been reading!” Victor tells him excitedly. 

“What.” Yuuri says blankly. Victor spoons some curry into his bowl for him as he’s busy staring. 

“Well, I’ve shared a couple Omega’s heats, but they had everything ready when I showed up, so I feel like having an Omega as a student requires me to catch up on my knowledge.” Victor tells him. 

Yuuri ignores most of the things that are obviously wrong with that statement and focuses in on one aspect. “You’ve only shared a couple heats?” That seems like a low number. Yuuri has gotten offers from many fans to share their heats (of course they don’t know that Yuuri is an Omega and can’t help with their heats without fear of slipping into his own), and Victor is infinitely more popular, so he should have had many offers. For someone who isn’t an Omega, they would have been offers worth considering. But to have only helped with a few? No wonder Victor is woefully unknowledgeable. 

“Well, I’ve had offers,” Victor admits. “But I’m always so busy, I just couldn’t spare a week off, you see. There was just a few offers that fell at the right time.” Victor shrugs. 

“Was it other skaters? Were they good?” Mari asks conspiratorially. Yuuri knows she’s spent a heat with an Omega before - one of her previous boyfriends. They’d used lots of toys to get through it, and she’d needed a full 24hrs worth of sleep at the end. 

“I don’t think I should say who,” Victor responds, “but yes, it was good, I’ve always enjoyed heats, and I wish I could have shared more, but my schedule just hasn’t allowed it.” Yuuri can see how that might be a problem. If you share a heat with an Omega, you usually have to share the whole thing. It can be damaging to the Omega to leave halfway through, or even to show up a couple days late. Yuuri’s having enough anxiety about fitting in his own heat into his schedule, and that’s every two years. 

“My partners have always said that they prefer having someone to assist them,” Victor tells Yuuri. “So you should make the effort too.”

“If you don’t end up finding someone,” Mari tells him, “then you can just stay here. I gave you that box of all your old toys, didn’t I?”

Yet again, Yuuri can’t help but blush. It’s essential for Omegas to have toys even when they have partners. It’s almost impossible for partners to keep up with their insatiable needs, even Alphas, whose refractory periods are best suited to Omega heats. He does have that box of toys already, it’s sitting under his bed. He hasn’t used them recently because Victor is only one room away and he’s not sure how much Victor is able to hear thought the walls. He’ll need to go through the box and order more toys before his heat, though. 

“Oh wow, can I see them?” Victor asks. 

Yuuri doesn’t know how much more his heart can handle. “What?! No!” He exclaims. That is definitely something Victor should not see. He doesn’t want Victor to know how he gets himself off.  

“Why not?” Victor pouts, shoving curry into his mouth. “I’ve never used toys with an Omega before. I’d like to know what they usually use.”

“Never used an Omega toy?” Mari looks just as shocked as Yuuri feels. 

“No.” Victor keeps pouting. “I’ve been good enough for my partners. We’ve never needed anything besides our own bodies.”

“Wow.” Mari says. 

Yuuri can feel himself begin to stiffen in his pants just at those few words. Victor has enough stamina to keep up with an Omega for seven days straight? That’s a rarity. The possibility of Victor being an Alpha has just increased. What he wouldn’t give to have someone like that for his heats. 

Yuuri, himself, has incredible stamina, as Victor has noticed on the ice, so none of his partners have ever been able to keep up with him, pun intended. On many occasions, he’s had to take care of himself because his partner can barely stay awake. And, for most Omegas, the insatiable lust they have during heats slows down quickly after the first couple days. Yuuri’s has never abated until past the fifth day. Even the professionals he’s had help him had mentioned that he was ‘quite something’. He can’t help but wonder how well Victor would be able to keep up with him. 

He immediately has to focus on eating his dinner because the fantasies his brain is providing are too risque to be having at the dinner table. 

“I would have liked to try using toys, though,” Victor admits and Mari almost spits out her mouthful. Maybe in Russia talking about heats is normal conversation? It’s not unusual to talk about it amongst friends, but to be so candid like this with non-family is strange. “I really can’t see them?” Victor asks Yuuri. “I won’t judge, I promise.”

“Let him take a look,” Mari, the traitor, agrees. 

“No way.” Yuuri says. He’s not going to look at sex toys with Victor. That is crossing way too many lines. 

“Pleeeasssseee?” Victor pleads, resting a hand on Yuuri’s thigh. 

Yuuri jumps at the touch, not because he has a problem with Victor touching him, but it’s far too close to where he’s trying to ignore. He scrambles to move around the corner of the table, far out of Victor’s reach. “No.” He says more firmly. 

Victor pouts through the rest of supper, and Yuuri can’t stop imagining Victor both using his toys on him and not having to use them at all. He’s glad he’s sitting by himself because he’s left in an embarrassing situation. He manages to compose himself enough once Victor leaves after he’s finished eating that he can get up without embarrassment. 

“You should really just show him,” Mari says as he’s leaving. 

Yuuri stops to glare at her. 

“Hear me out,” she says. “He’s interested.”

“Yeah, he said he was interested. He can look at them online if he wants to know that badly,” Yuuri say in retort. 

“Not in the toys, you idiot. In you. He’s interested in you. Show him your damn collection, ask him which one he likes the look of, then ask if he’d like to use it on you. Easy peasy, he’s agreeing to share your heat.”

Yuuri huffs. “What makes you think I want him to spend my heat?”

Mari rolls her eyes because it’s a stupid statement, and Yuuri knew it was the moment it came out of his mouth. “When have you NOT wanted that?” She asks. “Even before you presented as Omega I’m sure you fantasized about that kind of scenario.”

Yuuri blushes lightly again because she’s correct. Mari doesn’t need to know that though. “It doesn’t work like that, big sis,” he tells her, a little put out. “You don’t just get to meet your idol, have him skate with you, ask him to share your heat, and then ride away into the sunset. Fairy tales aren’t real.”

“For you they might as well be,” Mari says with a strong tone. “You never thought you’d have a relationship with Victor like you do now. What’s to say you can’t have an even deeper one? You’ll never know until you try.”

Yuuri bites his bottom lip. She’s right. It wouldn’t hurt to ask. Victor might even say ‘yes’, just for the experience. But it’s not the ‘during’ Yuuri’s worried about, because, fuck, he’d enjoy it. It’s the after. It’s the pain he’d feel when Victor and him just went back to friends, back to coach and student. He couldn’t deal with that. He can’t save himself for Victor like that. Which he would - he’d save every heat for Victor after that, and then one day, Victor wouldn’t want that any more. It would be too painful to live with. 

Yuuri’s phone pings, giving him an excuse to walk away from Mari without answering. 

The notification tells him one of the professionals he contacted has replied.

* * *

 

The next day, Victor and him are back to their regular training schedule. By lunch, all seven potential heat-mates have responded to Yuuri. Two of the Alphas have said they’re already booked for Yuri’s dates and can’t help, but the rest offer to meet with him. He types out replies on his phone at lunch, sitting on the steps outside of the Ice Palace. 

“What are you doing?” Victor asks after a couple minutes of silence. The two of them usually talk about what they’ll work on in the afternoon, so it’s obvious he’s ignoring Victor.

Yuuri hesitates for a moment, but Victor helped him yesterday, so there’s no point in denying it today. “I’m just setting up times where I can meet some of the potential heat-partners I messaged yesterday.”

“Oh!” Victor leans in closer to try to look at Yuuri’s phone. “You got responses?”

“Of course,” he says. It’s not like they’re from Craigslist or something. There are options out there like that, but they don’t come with confidentiality contracts right out of the gate like the professional services do. With Yuuri’s profile, especially in this area, he can’t just rely on any random partner. He definitely needs to shell out some money to get someone reliable and capable of being discrete.

“So, who are you meeting with?” Victor asks. 

“All five that responded,” Yuuri tells him. 

“Five?” Victor looks a little shocked. “You didn’t just choose one or two?”

“It’s not a hassle to go to an interview,” Yuuri says. “It’s better to have options, you know?”

Victor scoots closer to him on the steps, pressing the entire side of his body against Yuuri so he can look at his phone too. “Which ones did you choose?”

Yuuri’s phone pings with an incoming message. The very attractive Beta Yuuri had been drooling over yesterday has replied almost instantly. “Um, well, this one tonight,” he says, reading the message. 

“That one.” Victor says, looking at the shirtless picture that’s displayed along with the message. It’s obviously meant as a teaser and an incentive to show up to their meeting. “You really liked that one yesterday.”

“Yeah.” Yuuri admits. The guy is stunning. He’s got a strong jawline, a nice head of hair, and a ridiculously hot body. He’s 25 too, right around Yuuri’s age. 

Yuuri had poured over his profile last night before sending him a message. His profile had given Yuuri even more information that had suggested he was a great fit. He boasts an 8 inch cock, a little on the small side where Alphas are concerned, but well-endowed for a Beta. The pictures that are posted of the appendage show the lovely curve that Yuuri’s sure is perfect for hitting all the right spots. 

His stats also suggest that his stamina would be good for Yuuri. His ‘longest session without ejaculation’ is four hours, his ‘refractory period’ is four in one hour (impressive, even if he was an Alpha), and his ‘number of giving orgasms for male’ is seven within the hour. He sounds almost too perfect. Victor definitely does not need to know any of his stats. 

“Well, good for you,” Victor tells him light heartedly. Although Yuuri’s finished sending messages on his phone, Victor doesn’t move away from him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell, Yuuri is definitely going to be using ‘toys’ in the future. I already have a whole list of ideas, but if there’s something you specifically want to see, let me know and I’ll fit it in somehow. Send me aaaaaaaallllll your kinks.
> 
> Please let me know how I’m doing. Reviews are the best motivation for me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am humbled by all of the positive reactions I’ve gotten to this fic. I’m so glad you’re enjoying reading it as much as I’m enjoying writing it. I worked hard on this chapter yesterday to get it to you today, if there are mistakes it's only because I'm so excited.
> 
> Just a warning: there’s some smoochies between Yuuri and someone who isn’t Victor. It doesn’t go anywhere.

Victor lets him out of practice early because his mind clearly isn’t in it. He runs home, Victor cycling on his bike beside him, completely nervous about getting ready for tonight. 

He tries to go straight to his room so he can lock himself away and work himself into an overly anxious state in peace, but Victor practically demands that they relax in the onsen together. 

He takes a perfunctory shower to rinse off the day’s sweat, and then he tries to force himself to calm down once he’s slipped into the hot water next to Victor.  It doesn’t work.

Victor is rambling on about what he thought of Yuuri’s practice today. Usually Yuuri listens with focus, intent on absorbing every bit of wisdom Victor has to offer, but this time his mind is swirling. Victor’s talking about tomorrow’s practice - jumps? - and all Yuuri can think about is how late tonight he’s going to meet someone to talk about sex. 

It’s not like he hasn’t had these kind of meetings before, and it’s not like he wasn’t just as distraught before those times as well. It’s just that the last thing he wants to do is sit in the onsen with Victor and talk about his skating right now. He wants to be curled up under his duvet, working through every possible scenario that might come up tonight. 

What if the guy refuses to help Yuuri after spending the whole night talking to him? Worse yet, what if he laughs in his face when they first see each other? They’re meeting late at night, so should Yuuri have supper at home? What if one of his old high school classmates sees him while they’re out? Or even, what if some press recognize him and take pictures? What if the man demands he signs the contract right away? What if after meeting him in person, Yuuri doesn’t find him attractive at all? What if-

“Yuuri?” Victor’s hand is hot on his neck, pulling him with soft fingertips out of his anxiety-bound state back to the present moment. 

“Huh?” Yuuri blinks, trying to clear his swirling thoughts. 

“I asked if you were doing alright,” Victor says in a low, calm voice. 

“Fine,” Yuuri says, taking a deep breath. 

Victor removes his hand from Yuuri’s neck, but then dips it into the water and runs it through Yuuri’s hair to make it damp. He pushes it back out of his face as if they’re getting ready for Yuuri’s ‘Eros’ performance. The blunt tips of Victor’s fingers feel soothing pushing against his scalp. 

The small amount of water that Victor had on his hand is useless against his full head of hair, but the gesture relaxes Yuuri anyway. Victor has always been better explaining things with his actions instead of his words. It’s still something Yuuri hasn’t gotten used to. 

“Are you nervous about your meeting tonight?” Victor ventures, giving Yuuri a now well-known gesture to put his legs on Victor’s knees. 

Yuuri thinks it’s an obvious question, especially if you know the kind of person he is, but he answers anyway, “Of course.” He shifts in the water, allowing Victor to grasp Yuuri’s right leg firmly. 

“You shouldn’t be,” Victor says as he digs his fingers in, massaging Yuuri’s calf muscles. 

“If it was that simple I wouldn’t be having problems,” Yuuri admits as Victor digs deep, releasing tension. 

“I don’t know why it would be a problem,” Victor says callously, “you either like him or you don’t.”

He’s obviously never had the same kind of insecurities that Yuuri has, but then again, you don’t become the world’s greatest figure by dwelling on your self-doubts. Victor’s hands fan across his ankles, twisting them slowly under the water to stretch them. They’re both silent for a few minutes while Victor works meticulously on his leg and ankle. 

Yuuri stares at Victor’s face. He finds the pervasive thoughts don’t come back when he’s following the line of Victor’s cheekbone. 

Finally, as Victor moves to lightly massage Yuuri’s bruised and sore feet, he speaks again. “Even if things don’t go well, or even if you don’t want to go at all, there are other options.”

“I know there are,” Yuuri replies. “But none of them are particularly appealing.” Victor’s touch stutters at that. “I’d rather not go solo this year. I’m always more exhausted, more over-worked, more… everything, at the end of it when I just have myself. If I want to get right back into training, I should probably find someone. The best option I have is the professionals. They’ll know how to minimize any post-heat effects.” 

As Victor finishes massaging the one leg, Yuuri switches them automatically. Victor doesn’t say anything, just digs his fingers into Yuuri’s other calf.

* * *

 

Yuuri has to give Victor credit - he’s feeling less distressed after the soak. But still, after Victor has finally lets him go from the onsen, he goes straight to his room and locks the door. 

He does the adult thing: busies himself straightening his desk instead of hiding under his covers. When that doesn’t work, he joins his mother in the kitchen, giving his sister a little relief, and helps to prepare supper for the onsen residents. 

He hides away in the kitchen, eating supper in there between orders, and it isn’t until much later that he lets his mom push him out the back door to get ready. He’s been successful in not thinking about it, but as soon as his hands don’t have something to do, the nerves start to return.

He takes another, longer, shower to make sure he’s presentable, and then puts some effort into choosing some decent clothes to wear. 

Even if he’s a little nervous, he’s also excited to meet the handsome Beta, Shoji, tonight. If this meeting goes well, there might not be much point in meeting the other four. He’s not letting himself get too eager, however, because Shoji also has a say in whether he’d like to help Yuuri. So, he’s still planned meetings with the four other prospects this week. One more Beta and three Alphas. 

Victor’s waiting at the door with his coat on when Yuuri is about to leave late in the evening. “What are you doing?” Yuuri asks.

“I’m coming with you,” Victor tells him, starting to slip on his shoes. 

“No. No you’re not.” Yuuri argues. 

“Of course I am! I want to make sure you’re safe.”

“I knew this would happen.” Yuuri says angrily, crossing his arms. “I’ve been out to see friends without you before. But now that you know I’m an Omega, you’re treating me differently - thinking I need to be protected.”

“That’s not it!” Victor tries to explain. “It’s not that you’re an Omega. It’s that you’re meeting a strange man from the internet! No matter what gender you were, I would be worried.”

“Take your jacket off, Victor,” Mari says from behind Yuuri. They both turn to look at her.

“But-.” Victor says petulantly. 

“Look,” Mari says, leaning against the wall, eyeing the two of them, “he’ll never go if you insist on following him.” She’s right about that. “And he’ll just pretend he went to meet the guy if he  _ thinks _ you’re following him. If you actually want him to meet up with the dude, if you actually want him to try to find someone, like you said you did, then you better take your jacket off and come back in. Sit in the onsen or something.”

Victor pouts, but when he sees the look on Yuuri’s face, he knows Mari is telling him the truth. “...Okay.” He says eventually, pulling his coat off and hanging it up. 

“Thank you,” Yuuri mumbles, mostly to Mari, as he shoves his feet inside his shoes and leaves before either Victor or he can change his mind. He refuses to look back as he slips out the door. 

He and Shoji have decided to meet at a bar that’s a ten minute walk away. It’s nice that it’s so close - the other potential heat-mates have requested places further away, probably because they live outside of his town. 

The walk to the bar is nice - it’s cool out and the night air brings a flush to his cheeks, but it’s barely colder than the temperature at the rink. He takes a moment to think about how he’s going to decide which heat-mate he’d choose, if he chooses one at all. 

He’d been able to choose his first, Katashi, easily because he was recommended on the website as ‘perfect for first time’. Mark in Detroit had been a little more difficult to choose, but he’d had the best reviews for his pricepoint (Yuuri was a student, okay, and he wasn’t about to go all-out). Phichit had been handed to him. 

Now, though, there’s no easy way of deciding. Of course, if he were given the pick of anyone in the world, he has to let himself admit, it would probably be Victor. But he can’t choose him because it has to be mutual, and it isn’t.

But even the idea of Victor as his heat-mate makes it all that more difficult to choose someone else. It might really be better if he just goes solo this time. He can plan a little more ahead of time next heat. 

Next heat. That’s something he’ll have to start worrying about soon. If this is his last year of professional skating, then his doctors will surely ask him to go back to the once-a-year schedule. It’s a little easier to justify spending money on something that happens once every two years, but it will be a difficult sell when it has to happen once a year. 

Maybe he should think of finding someone long-term? There are definitely websites out there that cater to that. Phichit would probably tell him he needed to start looking for a romance instead of paying a stranger. 

Yuuri can’t help it though; he doesn’t make friends easily, so he doubts he could find a romantic partner easily either. 

He shoves his hands further in his pockets to keep them warm and allows himself to think of Victor for a moment. Lovely, handsome, Victor. Yuuri’s lusted after him since he was young, probably even before he knew what sexual urges were. But it’s more than lust, it’s a deep-body, a soul, kind of yearning to know the man intimately, body and mind. He’d always dismissed his feelings because they’d been nothing more than a fantasy. 

Now, however, there’s an edge of desperation to them because Victor is finally within reach. Yuuri knows his body sings whenever Victor’s near. It always reaches out to him - reacts to his presence. 

But no matter how his body reacts to the man, he knows that Victor’s does not. Victor has never shown an interest in him past being his coach. Sure, he sits closer than most people, sure he gets into Yuuri’s personal space, and sure he teases Yuuri with touches and innuendos, but that’s just part of his personality. He’s the playboy. Russia’s shining star, shimmering in the spotlight. His incandescence is blinding and Yuuri’s been trapped in his light, enamoured by it, ever since he arrived. 

He can’t get ahead of himself, imagining that Victor has anything more than a professional interest in him. If he allows himself to hope, then he won’t ever stop. 

He can still fantasize, however. He can imagine that instead of the Beta Shoji he’s going to meet, it’s Victor waiting at the bar. They would drink, laugh, touch. Victor’s eyes would never leave him - it would be like he was on the ice, capturing Victor’s undivided attention. 

They’d leave together, walk home, arm in arm, shoulders touching, heat between them. They’d stop by the ocean to watch the moon in the water, probably share a stolen kiss or two. Maybe they’d take their time walking back home. 

Maybe they’d end up tumbling into bed together. And then, in the midst of passion, when Victor and him are breathing the same air, Victor would tell him that he doesn’t want it to be a single night - he wants nothing more than to spend Yuuri’s heat with him too - learning everything about his body. In the morning, they’d blush across the table at each other, but happily sign the contracts and spend the rest of the time planning what they want during their week together. 

Yuuri stumbles on a crack in the sidewalk, mind more preoccupied with the things he and Victor could get up to than where he’s walking. He’s brought back to reality suddenly as he has to make a quick move to keep himself upright. His ballet training kicks in and he makes a graceful turn and rights himself. 

The turn, however elegant it might end up being, sends him right into a man that’s walking past. He bumps into a firm chest, and arms immediately come up to hold him steady. 

He begins to apologise profusely, “Ah, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t-” he stops when he sees who he’s run into. “Shoji?” It’s the Beta he’s supposed to be meeting, he recognizes him easily from his pictures. His mind helpfully supplies that he’s actually walked all the way to the bar while in his daze. 

“Um?” The man says, a little unsure, but his eyes are quickly taking in Yuuri’s body. 

“Oh! I’m sorry,” Yuuri apologizes again. “I’m Yuuri. I’m supposed to be meeting with you, right?”

It takes half a second, but the man’s eyes widen and he beams at Yuuri. “Fantastic! Yes. I’m Shoji,” he introduces. He steps back from Yuuri, letting go of his arms so he can offer a hand. And Yuuri is finally able to take him all in, smiles, cheekbones, biceps, tight shirt, slim jeans. Victor is banished from his mind in an instant as arousal curls low in his gut. 

Maybe it’s that he knows he’s heat’s coming up that he’s suddenly attracted to this stranger when he usually isn’t. Maybe it’s because he was already aroused thinking of he and Victor, and now it’s just transferred to someone who’s actually in front of him. Whatever it is, he finds himself seated across from Shoji in the bar and completely captivated. 

Shoji is even more attractive than he was in his pictures and he’s got a dazzling smile to boot. Yuuri can’t stop thinking about how he knows exactly what this man’s penis looks like. 

“So,” Shoji starts. “Yuuri, tell me a little about yourself.”

Yuuri flushes just because the man is saying his name. “I, uh, well, I’m sure you-” Yuuri looks up at Shoji over the top of his glasses. 

“You’re Yuuri Katsuki, the figure skater.” Shoji helps him. He leans back in his chair and gives Yuuri an appraising look. 

In a small town like this, he’s not surprised Shoji already knows who he is. He wants to make sure that he won’t tell anyone what they’re meeting about tonight, but he knows that Shoji is under contract with the company he’s hired through. He couldn’t even if he wanted to, and Yuuri knows that asking might ruin the mood. “I am, yes.”

“I’ve seen you skate before,” Shoji admits to him. “Been a fan too, for a long time. I’ve always admired how you move. With such… sensuality.” He lets the word rolls off his lips. 

Yuuri can feel himself begin to flush from the cheeks down his chest. 

“And such flexibility. What I wouldn’t do to get my hands on someone like that.” He continues in the same low, purring tone. 

It just makes Yuuri flush even more. He tries to say something, but his mouth is dry. He reaches for the water the waitress has already placed on the table. 

“Let’s order drinks first, and then we can get down to business.” Shoji suggests, noticing that Yuuri’s getting embarrassed, raising a hand to gesture for the waitress to come over. 

Yuuri ends up getting a margarita, and Shoji gets a pint of what’s on tap. Yuuri sips while Shoji watches. 

They spend over an hour just making small talk about the weather, what kind of training Yuuri does, what their hobbies are, the usual topics you would cover when you first meet someone. It, surprisingly, takes a while before the conversation trails off. But after it does, the real reason for their meeting is still left mostly unsaid.

When it’s obvious that Yuuri isn’t going to start the conversation, Shoji takes charge. 

“So, you’re looking for someone to share you heat?”

Yuuri nods, eyes wandering down Shoji’s chest to where his nipples are peaked and showing through the thin tshirt he’s wearing. He wants to get his teeth on them. 

“In your email you said that this wasn’t your first time.”

“No. It’s not.” Yuuri says, looking back up to his face. 

Shoji has a knowing smirk. “I’m hoping you know that I’m a Beta,” he says, leaning one arm on the table. 

“I do,” Yuuri confirms. 

“And you’re okay with that? You weren’t looking for an Alpha instead?”

Yuuri shrugs. “I’ve mostly been with Betas. I think I might prefer them.”

“Perfect.” Shoji says, grinning again. “How about I give you a rundown of what I can do? I'd love for you to pick me as your heat-mate. It's would such a pleasure for me to spend it with someone as gorgeous as you, someone I’ve looked up to for so long”

“O-okay,” Yuuri stutters. He looks around a little, but they're in corner of the bar and the people around them aren't paying attention to them. And although it's a little embarrassing, he really wants to hear what kind of things Shoji could do for (to) him. 

“I'm 25, and I've been doing this job for 6 years, so I have a lot of experience to draw on to make sure you're satisfied.” Shoji launches right in. He’s moved closer to Yuuri, arm casually resting on the table between them. “I've got excellent stamina - I routinely pleasure my clients for hours without need of reciprocation. But, if you enjoy  _ reciprocation _ , even though I'm getting older, my refractory period is quite fast still. I can ejaculate about ten times within a fourteen hour period, so I've been quite a blessing for those who are into scent-marking.”

Yuuri flushes again at that. He's going to end up with a permanent blush, he's sure. But even the idea of being covered in his partners come, letting the scent of it blend into his skin, is extremely arousing. He doesn't say anything, but the pause and sly smile Shoji gives him let's him know he's being obvious about his desire. 

“Also,” Shoji continues, shifting in his seat a little so his leg touches Yuuri's under the table, “I have high ratings in ability to give my partners orgasms. At the beginning of your heat, I wouldn’t be surprised if I could give you four to five orgasms every hour. It helps take the edge off so later sessions can be a bit longer.”

Yuuri nods at him, covering his nervous arousal with his margarita glass. 

“I do want you to know that I’m well-versed in Omega care, so beyond just orgasms, I know how to make you comfortable.”

That gives Yuuri a kind of relief. It’s hard when he has to be the one remembering things or taking charge after sex because it’s difficult to do in an endorphin haze. 

“Plus, it means that any kinks you have, I’ve probably encountered,” Shoji runs his tongue along his front teeth, watching as Yuuri squirms in his seat. “The only hard rules I have are, I don’t like to be choked and I don’t deal with any bodily fluids besides semen.”

Yuuri wonders if that includes the slick he produces during his heat because he’s been rimmed once during his heat, by Mark actually, and it was extremely enjoyable. “Ah, that’s fine,” Yuuri says, willing to make that compromise. 

Shoji raises an eyebrow. “I know you said you liked Betas, but in case you’re looking for the domineering personality of an Alpha, I can do that too. I like to take charge. You won’t have to do anything except just relax and let me take care of you.”

That does sound nice to Yuuri, but he wants more than just lying back and taking it. He pauses. He  _ was _ hoping for an Alpha to take care of him during his heat, but maybe all he needs is for someone to take charge. “Yeah. That sounds good.” He says. 

“Lovely. Should I list some of the other things I’m capable of? I work at a BDSM club part-time, so I’m good at, and open, to doing that kind of work. I’ve got quite a history of using chastity devices, which some Omegas really enjoy. If you like prostate milking, I can do that. I can even do fisting if you want. But I’m more comfortable with the more vanilla kinks. I’ll eat whipped cream off you any day.” He winks at Yuuri who is flushed completely.

“I, um, well, those all sound good?” Yuuri admits. Some more than others, but he’s going to be happy with any kind of sex during his heat. 

“Fantastic. So now that you’ve heard a bit about me, what do you say? Do I sound like someone you could spend your heat with?” Shoji asks, reaching over and taking Yuuri’s hand.

Yuuri looks from the hand up to Shoji’s face. Without a doubt, Yuuri would be happy spending a week of sex with this man. He’s handsome and he has the qualities Yuuri’s looking for. For some reason, though, he still finds himself hesitating.  

“I have some pictures of my dick,” Shoji say, reaching into his pants pocket for his phone, “if that’s something you’d like to see before you make any decisions.” It’s said lightly, in a bit of a joking tone. 

Yuuri smiles at him. “No. It’s alright. I’ve seen them already.”

That makes Shoji bite his lip and give Yuuri a heated look. “Of course you have. Been looking at my profile a bit?”

“A bit,” Yuuri agrees. With Shoji’s hand on his and their legs pressed together he’s feeling a little less embarrassed and a lot more aroused. 

“You don’t have to decide right away,” Shoji makes sure to tell him. “We can give it a couple weeks. Did you want to talk about some of the details right now instead? Just so we both know what we’d be getting into?”

“Okay,” Yuuri agrees, sliding down a little in his seat so Shoji’s knee is pressing further up the inside of his thigh. 

“Are there things you really like during your heat? I have a small selection of toys I can bring. So, if you like being tied up a little, or blindfolded, or even cock rings, I’ve got experience with all of that.”

Yuuri wants to say yes to all of those things, but he doesn’t have much experience with them. In fact, because he’s just been with three people, and never outside of heats, all of his experiences have been more towards the simpler, ‘vanilla’ side. “I-I think I’d like that.”

Shoji takes a drink, giving Yuuri an analytic look. “If you’re not comfortable with those things, but you’d like to try them, we could meet up before your heat to go over a few things. Maybe try a couple out?”

Yuuri’s jaw drops. He’s met up with his partners before his heats to talk about what they want, but he’s never had sex with anyone outside his heats. 

“Look, I knows it’s a little unorthodox,” Shoji says, running his thumb over Yuuri’s hand. “But it’s not unheard of. I would… I would really enjoy that. I think you’re gorgeous, and I’d love to help introduce you to new things.”

Yuuri licks his lips. It’s an interesting proposition, but also a little scary. 

“Can I be honest with you right now?” Shoji leans in close to Yuuri when he nods. “I’ve fantasized about you before. Dreamt of taking you home, tying you up to my bed and having my way with you. I’d be willing to do that right now, if you want, because I’ve always wanted to show you what I can do.” 

Yuuri’s not sure what to say to that. He’s received fanmail along the same lines before, but it’s different now that it’s someone he’s also chosen and that they’re sitting across from him, inches away.

Shoji continues, “I want to give you the best damn blowjob you’ve ever had in your life, and then when you’re nice and pliable, I want to fuck you until you can barely remember your own name.”

“Oh,” Yuuri says, his eyes dilating in arousal. 

“Should we get out of here?” Shoji places a few bills on the table to cover their drinks and he pulls Yuuri to his feet, tugging him towards the door, Yuuri lets him. They pause for a moment at the entrance to pull on their coats - Shoji a fitted leather jacket and Yuuri his usual brown coat. They catch each other's eyes just as Shoji opens the door for them. 

Shoji looks just as aroused as Yuuri feels. He feels like he’s floating on hot air - he’s never done this before. He’s never really felt like this before. He’s never  _ wanted _ like this before. He’s just met this man and he’s willing to have sex with him. 

“Come on,” Shoji whispers, tugging Yuuri outside. He pulls him towards an alleyway at the corner of the building. As soon as they’re out of the prying view of the people on the street, Shoji immediately pushes Yuuri up against the outside wall. “Can I kiss you?” He asks breathlessly, one hand cupping Yuuri’s cheek. 

“Yes,” Yuuri consents and instantly Shoji is kissing him. It’s hot and hard. Yuuri’s hands clench in Shoji’s jacket, pulling him closer. 

Their lips move against each other, soft, moist, but insistent. Shoji’s hands move quickly from Yuuri’s face to sliding down his body. Yuuri wishes he hadn’t put his coat on - he wants closer contact with the man in front of him. 

As if he can read Yuuri’s mind, Shoji steps closer, placing a leg in between Yuuri’s legs - pressing his weight against Yuuri’s body. Yuuri can feel the beginnings of his erection press against the jean-clad thigh, and in return he can feel the hard line of Shoji’s dick pressed up against his hip. 

“Please,” Shoji says as he pulls away from Yuuri’s lips, “please, let me touch you.” He immediately drops to his knees, pushing open Yuuri’s jacket and fumbling with the button on Yuuri’s pants. 

Suddenly Yuuri just isn’t sure. He wants this, yes, but he’s never done this before, and that’s terrifying. “No, no, stop,” he says quietly, pushing at Shoji’s shoulders. 

Shoji’s fingers still immediately. He presses his forehead to Yuuri’s thigh, breathing heavily. “Fuck,” he says quietly.

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri says as Shoji sighs and stands, keeping space between him and Yuuri. He readjusts himself quickly. 

“Don’t apologise,” Shoji says, smiling softly at Yuuri. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I went a little too fast. I- it was unprofessional of me. I just- I suppose I should be honest,” he pauses, looking at Yuuri with obvious embarrassment, “I’ve watched you for a while. You’re a home-grown celebrity and right around my age and I’ve always been attracted to you. And meeting a celebrity? I can’t help myself. Not when it’s someone like you that I’ve admired for years. When I saw you first tonight, I couldn’t believe my luck. All I want to do is worship your body, give you any kind of pleasure you want, and in return, just seeing that pleasure would be enough.”

Yuuri stares at him. For one moment, he sees himself in Shoji. It’s just like him and Victor. The deep want, the need to be close and do anything possible to have that kind of relationship. And yet, Shoji is the one who’s tried where Yuuri’s just sat back all these months.

Yuuri’s fingers tremble when he brings them back up to Shoji’s face. He pulls the man towards him back into another kiss. This one is just a long press. He’s no idol - he’s not someone to be put on a pedestal and worshiped. In fact, Yuuri counts himself lucky that someone like Shoji is interested in him outside of his heats. He’s just a normal man, no better, no worse than anyone else. No more deserving of want than the next person. 

He pulls back from the kiss and Shoji looks at him with admiration in his eyes. 

It hits him. This is how he’s been treating Victor - as someone to be placed on a pedestal and admired. And Victor is just a normal person. When he says he wants to help Yuuri plan his heats, he means it. He wants to help his friend. 

“I need to go home,” Yuuri finds himself saying. 

Shoji nods in agreement. “Do you want me to walk with you?” He asks.

Yuuri shakes his head ‘no’. “I’ll be fine. I can manage.”

“Okay,” Shoji says, taking a step back. “I hope you might still consider me for your heat,” he says after a moment’s pause.

“Yeah. I will. Definitely.” Yuuri tells him. And he will have to seriously consider it. Shoji is almost everything he wanted from a heat-mate, and Yuuri still finds him attractive. There’s no reason that he couldn’t hire him for his heat. 

“Okay,” Shoji says again. “I’m scheduled to start helping with someone’s heat tomorrow, so I won’t be able to meet you for a week, but if you text, I will answer as soon as I can. And we can meet up again, if you want to.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” Yuuri agrees. “I’ll email you to set something up later on.”

Yuuri nods and lets Shoji kiss him on his cheek. 

“I’ll see you?” He asks before shoving his hands into his leather jacket and then slipping out of the alleyway, leaving Yuuri alone to his thoughts. 

It takes Yuuri much longer to walk home. He can’t help but spend the time thinking about Victor and his relationship. The two of them have been close since Victor arrived in Japan. Victor has tried to get close to him, but Yuuri’s just been pushing him away. That needs to change. He needs to start treating Victor like a human instead of a celebrity. And that means, if he wants to know more about Yuuri, if he wants to help plan Yuuri’s heat as a small show of affection, then Yuuri should let him help. 

He’s careful to be quiet when he returns home. The lights are dimmed and almost everyone seems to be asleep by the time he returns. His father is napping in the chair in his office and his sister is cleaning up the last of the dishes in the kitchen. He pads through the hallways without disturbing either of them. He’s turning the corner to head towards his room when, for the second time that night, he bumps into a warm body. 

It’s Victor, dressed in just a robe, eyes sleepy. 

“Yuuri?” He asks in a small voice, rubbing at his eyes. “You’re just coming home?”

“Oh. Uh. Victor. Yes, I’m home.”

“I’m just-” Victor points towards the kitchen, “-getting some water.”

“Oh!” Yuuri steps to the side to let him pass, but Victor doesn’t move. 

He looks at Yuuri through his bangs. “How did it go?” He asks tentatively. 

“It was good. Fine.”

“Are you going to choose him?” Victor asks, scratching his bare chest where the robe has fallen away. 

“I don’t know. I still have other ones to meet,” Yuuri says, blush rising up as he thinks about what happened after their meeting and how close he was to having chosen him tonight. 

“Oh. Okay.” Victor says. He spends a moment squinting through his still-sleepy eyes at Yuuri. Then he gives him a small smile and walks towards the kitchen. 

“Victor.” Yuuri says into the quiet hallway, and Victor stops and turns around to look at him. “Tomorrow, maybe you’d like to help me look at some supplies online? I still haven’t decided whether a hotel or here is better.”

“Sure.” Victor says with a small smile. 

They part there for the night, Yuuri embarrassed but happy with his decision, and go to their separate rooms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this is the last time Shoji will show up - he’s literally here as a plot device to get Yuuri to think about how Victor might actually view him. Also, I wanted Yuuri to realise that he’s allowed to have sexual urges for someone outside of his heat as well. He’s been neglecting them because Victor has been around (and he’s been worried about him hearing through the walls). 
> 
> I hope I didn’t offend anyone by having this happen - I’ve been nervous about bringing someone else in besides Victor, even if it’s only for a short moment. (I was originally planning on Yuuri actually going through with the bj, but he finally told me that he’s still way too shy to allow something like that to happen in public.)
> 
> As always, if you have any kinks, or toys you’d like to see used in later chapters, let me know. I love hearing about them. I’m hoping that the next chapter will be posted around the same time two days from now. Please send me reviews as motivation to get it finished in time for you.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who commented. It definitely made me write a little faster because I wanted you to have this next chapter. 
> 
> Just for your info later in this chapter: Fukuoka is the nearest large city in Japan near where Hasetsu is (or at least, the town Hasetsu is based on).

Yuuri thought that skating with Victor in the morning was going to be awkward, but he’s wrong. His legs are strong and he’s making almost every single jump Victor is asking of him. Victor’s watching him from the boards with an intently focussed expression. 

Yuuri finishes a, frankly, spectacular quad toe loop after an hour of practicing jumps and he can hear Victor’s low whistle of appreciation all the way across the ice. 

He skates over to Victor, breathing hard, but feeling very good about himself. 

“Yuuri,” Victor says, sounding almost as breathless as Yuuri feels. “That was amazing. You’ve been amazing this morning.”

Yuuri feels a warmth roll down his spine at the praise. He leans on the boards so he can catch his breath and grab a drink of water. 

Victor watches as he drinks, eyes flowing down Yuuri’s neck. 

“Did something happen last night to make you this focused?” Victor asks. 

Yuuri has to pause for a moment because something did happen last night. He almost allowed a stranger to give him a blowjob in an alleyway. He has to hide his face by taking another drink of water because his expression is going to give it away. Victor catches it though. 

“Oh,” he says and Yuuri isn't sure if it’s surprise or disappointment. “Something happened.”

“It was nothing,” Yuuri says. It really was. Nothing important happened. Well, besides his realization that Victor might be less of an idol and more of a regular person like Yuuri. That maybe Victor is genuinely interested in Yuuri and his heat. Fuck. He wasn’t going to think about it today. It’s still too much to process and if he gets ahead of himself, he may act irrationally. 

Yuuri can hear Victor swallow hard. “Are you sure? That man you met last night… he didn’t do anything you didn’t want, right?”

Yuuri blinks in surprise, placing his water bottle back on the edge of the boards. “No. The opposite, in fact.”

“The opposite,” Victor mimics. 

Yuuri suddenly realises how that sounds and he tries to wave it off. “Ah, I mean, he was fine. He was good.”

“You liked him,” Victor says soberly. 

Yuuri pauses because he’s not sure what the tone in Victor’s voice means. “Well, he is a good option.” Yuuri says tentatively. 

Victor stares back at him. There’s something thick in the air between them, and it’s not the chill of the ice. “I’d like to see your spins,” Victor says out of nowhere. 

Yuuri sighs, not sure exactly where he went wrong. Victor is staring at him, and he still has this deep need to not disappoint his coach, so he roll his shoulders and pushes off the boards. He follows Victor’s order and skates back out to the middle of the ice, starting with wide, lazy circles, then launching himself into a sit spin. He pulls up, twisting faster. When he pulls out of the spin, he immediately looks for Victor’s approval. 

Victor’s leaning on the boards, hand over his mouth and eyes narrowed in disapproval. His body language is obvious even to Yuuri. He’s completely closed off. It’s hurts to see because usually Victor is so open with him. 

“Not your usual effort. The jumps must have tired you out-”

“What is it?” Yuuri interrupts, skating back towards Victor. 

“Hmm?” Victor says, frowning a little.

“Did I say something wrong?” Yuuri asks. If he knows, he can fix it. 

Victor stares back at him, quiet, and still closed off. Finally he says, “You came home late last night.”

“I did,” Yuuri confirms. Is Victor concerned about what he did with Shoji? It doesn’t seem like something Victor would care too much about, but-

“I thought you said that your upcoming heat wouldn’t get in the way of your training.” Victor says outright.

Oh. Oh, that’s it. Yuuri can feel himself getting angry with Victor because although, yes, he did say that, he doesn’t think his performance today has been hindered by his meeting last night. Victor just doesn’t know what kind of effort Yuuri has to go to get ready for this. It’s not like he has a choice, either. 

Maybe it really was a good idea to ask Victor to help him plan his heat - if he knows the effort that goes in, maybe he’ll be more understanding. “I thought you just said that I’ve been doing well this morning.” Yuuri takes a chance and calls Victor on his mood. 

“Were you serious last night?” Victor says instead. 

Yuuri blinks because the change in topic doesn’t flow at all. He opens his mouth, but he’s not sure what to say. He was trying to confront Victor, but it’s been completely switched on him. 

“You suggested I could help you with your planning today. I was tired last night, so I want to make sure I heard it correctly.” Victor says over Yuuri’s confusion. 

“I, uh, I did say that.” Yuuri gets out. 

“Good. Now, try the spin again,” Victor says, digging one of his toe picks into the ice. 

Yuuri skates back out the middle of ice because he’s just not sure what else he should do. He doesn’t know what just happened, and he’s not sure he should ask. 

Victor goes back to his normal demeanor and proceeds to work Yuuri hard until they’re done for the day.

* * *

 

By the time they arrive back at Yu-topia, Victor and he have slipped back into their usual casual conversation, the weird moment from the morning skate completely forgotten. 

There’re still a few hours until suppertime, so Yuuri figures this is the best time to start looking at supplies online. He’ll have to order things soon if he wants them here in time for his heat. 

After Victor was so peculiar this morning about it, Yuuri gathers up his courage to ask if he still wants to help. He’s not sure how Victor will help, but if that’s what his coach wants, Yuuri doesn’t want to deny him. Besides, although completely embarrassing, Victor did help him to pick out heat-mates.

“If we’re finished training for the day,” Yuuri says as he takes off his shoes at the onsen entrance, “then I think there’s some things I’d like to look at for my heat.”

“Okay.” Victor says, pulling off his jacket and hanging it up. 

“Did you-” Yuuri pauses for a moment because it’s still a little awkward to be asking Victor this, “-still want to help?”

“Do you want me to?” Victor responds, resting his hands on his hips. 

“You’re the one who seemed interested in how I plan things.” Yuuri responds. 

“Of course. I’m interested in what you’re interested in.” Victor says.

“It’s not that I’m… interested, persay,” Yuuri admits. “It’s just something I have to deal with. It just seemed like you wanted to know what I did to get ready.” He’s not sure how Russian culture treats an Omega’s pre-heat, but it’s unusual in Japan for someone who’s not going to be part of the heat to help plan it. Usually it’s just lovers, or mated pairs that take the time to plan things together. Doctors are the only exception to that, and they usually only help newly-presented Omegas. 

However, Yuuri has to admit that the people in Detroit weren’t like that. He distinctly remembers spending several nights out at the bars talking with his Omega friends about what kind of things they were planning for their heats. Usually Yuuri would have been uncomfortable with those conversations, but he was almost always half-drunk by the time the topic came up. He doesn’t regret it either - some of the tricks about planning, like what foods to keep around, were useful to him. 

“I want to help you, Yuuri,” Victor says with sincerity. “Learning what you have to go through to plan your heats helps me understand you better.”

Yuuri nods. “Okay, if you want to, then… then it’s okay with me.” There’s no way that Yuuri is going to deny Victor anything. Sure, he’d denied Victor many things when he first came here; from declining to tell him about his personal life to refusing to let them sleep together. Things have changed since then. Their relationship is different, and if Victor asked any of those things again, Yuuri would probably happily give him what he wanted. 

“Plus, it will help me be a better coach!” Victor says with enthusiasm, nodding at his own remark. 

Yuuri sighs. Everything Victor asks of him is always brought back to him being a better coach. Yuuri can’t complain because it’s been working so far, and really, that’s the reason that Victor is here living with Yuuri in the first place. 

“Let me go grab my laptop,” Yuuri says, wandering off into the house. He’ll also grab a snack for them as well.

“We can sit on my couch,” Victor suggests, following Yuuri. “It’s more comfortable than the chairs, and it’s still private, so my little katsudon doesn’t get embarrassed looking at those kinds of things in a public place.”

Yuuri can already feel a bit of embarrassment creep up on him just thinking about sitting in the main dining room where all the guests are around and looking at heat supplies. “Sounds good,” Yuuri agrees readily. 

Victor turns into his room and Yuuri quickly grabs his laptop and power cord from his room. He drops them off in Victor’s room, giving a quick scruffle to Maccachin who’s napping on the bed. Victor is rummaging around in one of his boxes, so he just leaves his laptop on the bed and makes his way to the kitchens. 

Mari’s in the kitchen at one of the windows, leaning against the counter and smoking. “Hey, Yuuri,” she says around the cigarette in her mouth. 

“Hey big sis,” he says, opening up the fridge to see if there’s anything small he can snack on before supper in a few hours. 

“How was last night?” Mari asks, watching him. 

“Last night?” Yuuri says, distracted. There’s cold soba noodles that might be alright, but kind of awkward to eat right now. 

“Your date,” Mari reminds him. 

“Oh.” He says, standing up, closing the fridge door and looking at her. He flushes at the memory. “Ah, it was fine.”

“Did you like the guy?” She asks as she ashes her cigarette into the ashtray by her hip. 

“Yeah, he was nice,” Yuuri says, deciding on crackers. He opens up the pantry and grabs what's there. 

“You came home late. Victor was worried.”

That makes Yuuri stop. “He was worried?” He asks, frowning. 

“Yeah,” Mari drawls. “He stayed up pacing from his room to the dining room to the onsen and back until mom forced him to bed because he was making everyone nervous.” 

“Oh,” Yuuri says because he doesn't know how to respond. He knew that Victor had wanted to come with him last night, but he didn’t know that he’d upset his coach. 

Why Victor had been worried, Yuuri isn’t sure. It can’t be just because Yuuri was meeting a stranger. He goes out on errands by himself all the time, plus, he’s much stronger than he looks - all the workouts Victor makes him do means he’s got the strength to take care of himself in any situation. 

“He’s just worried that I’ll ruin our training regimen,” Yuuri says out loud because, what other reason could there be? Victor was just proclaiming that it was his duty as a coach to help Yuuri with planning his heats. So, that must be the same reason he was worried last night. 

“I don’t think that’s it, Yuuri,” Mari says, one eyebrow raised. 

“Of course it is. He’s just being a good coach.”

“You’ve never had a coach like this, Yuuri,” Mari says slowly. 

“No, but that’s a good thing, isn’t it? Victor’s been so helpful.” He’s the coach that Yuuri didn’t knew he needed. 

Mari sighs and stubs out her cigarette. “Don’t ruin your supper,” she says, eyeing the two boxes of crackers he’s holding onto. “Just talk to him about it, okay?” She says as she’s leaving the kitchen. “Just so I don’t have to deal with him next time.”

“Okay,” Yuuri says, watching her leave. He pauses for a moment there in the kitchen to think for a moment, and although he doesn’t understand why Victor would be that worried, he still can’t come up with a different reason for his mood. He has two potential heat-mates he has to meet with in a couple days time all the way in Fukuoka and he wonders if he should tell Victor at all. 

Although their relationship is strange by coach-student standards, Yuuri wouldn’t change it for the world. Victor works him as hard as he needs and never more than that. He gives him the support he needs too. And Yuuri has been revelling in the closeness they share. 

When Victor had first arrived, he’d been terrified to let the Russian man touch him in fear that his idol would find out how deeply besotted he was. Victor’s already learned about his childhood crush (and all the posters) from his family. When he found out he’d just called Yuuri ‘cute’ and had continued as normal. It means Yuuri can now let Victor get close to him without worrying. He revels in those small touches now - enjoying them while he can. He doesn’t know what will happen after this season, but he’s going to take everything he can get while he can. 

Even if other people think it’s unconventional for them to be planning Yuuri’s heat together when Victor isn’t going to be a part of it, if it keeps their relationship healthy, keeps Victor happy, Yuuri’s willing to do it. In fact, he doesn’t mind all that much. He needs to take more chances, like Shoji, and go for what he wants. 

When he walks back into Victor’s room, closing the door behind him, Victor looks up from where he’s seated on the couch, Yuuri’s closed laptop beside him already plugged in, Maccachin curled up on his far side. . Yuuri’s heart clenches at the sight. It’s so domestic. Victor looks comfortable dressed in sweats and a loose v-neck tshirt. 

“Only five,” he says when he sees the boxes in Yuuri’s arms. 

Yuuri opens them up, taking the five he’s been allotted and passes them over to Victor, who takes more than five, of course. Yuuri settles on the couch next to Victor, picking up his laptop and putting it on his lap. He’s less worried today about being aroused around Victor - they should be looking at pretty safe things, and if there are any problems, the laptop should cover everything. 

“What are you looking for today?” Victor asks and he nibbles on a cracker. Maccachin opens one sleepy eye, interested in what Victor’s eating. 

“Well,” Yuuri says, opening his laptop, “I have to decide really soon whether I’ll stay here at the onsen, or if I’m going to rent a room.” There are a few other things he was thinking of ordering today, but that’s his main goal. 

“What are the rooms like?” Victor asks, leaning towards Yuuri to look at his screen. 

Yuuri shuffles closer to Victor on the couch until their thighs are pressed together so they can both look at his screen comfortably. He pulls up a couple websites from his history. “This one is close,” Yuuri says, pointing at the map on it. “But it’s expensive.” He tabs to another window as Victor leans against him - his entire side pressed against Yuuri. “This one’s nicer,” Yuuri says, flipping through a couple pictures, “but it’s farther away, which isn’t great because I have some nesting habits, so I’d be making the trip a lot.”

“Wait,” Victor says, tapping on the screen and smudging it a little. “Go back to the pictures.”

Yuuri goes back to the pictures of the room. 

“That’s it?” Victor asks, leaning even closer into Yuuri’s space, squinting at the screen. Being this close to Victor’s neck gives Yuuri a big smell of Victor’s scent. It’s subdued but spicy. It must be thicker right now because Victor hasn’t showered since this morning and they’d both been on the ice. 

Yuuri swallows and forces his attention back to what Victor’s asking. “Ummm, yes?”

“There’s nothing there.” Victor is frowning. 

The picture shows a traditional heat room. It’s got cream-coloured walls, white tile on the floor and a bed in the centre. There’s an equally sparse bathroom attached to the room. “It’s actually a king-size bed,” Yuuri points out. 

“No, no, I mean, there’s nothing else in the room. There’s no other furniture besides the bed. There’s no carpet.”

“No, of course not,” Yuuri says, leaning into Victor and trying hard to not breathe in his scent. 

“Why not? You have to spend a whole week there.” Victor does seem confused. Yet again, Yuuri is reminded how little it seems like Victor actually knows about what Omegas have to go through for their heats. If he’d spend heats with Omegas before, he’d obviously never been involved in the planning. He probably had just shown up at the appropriate time and had a great week without any hassle. 

Yuuri almost feels sorry for whoever Victor had been with previously. With all of Yuuri’s previous three partners, they’d all had a say in what kind of things they wanted to do during his heat, and they’d all asked if he needed help setting things up as well. Yuuri has to remind himself that Victor hasn’t been part of nearly as many heats as Yuuri has. Besides, he’s been busy being an international superstar, so he probably didn’t have the time to help his partners outside of their actual heat week.

“It’s sterile for a reason,” Yuuri tells him. “They have to clean it after every Omega. You can’t have any extraneous scents in there otherwise it can be upsetting for an Omega.” Senses are heightened during an Omega’s heat, so even the smallest threatening smell can make a heat-induced Onega paranoid; keeping the room spotless is necessary. The hotels do their job well too. They have industrial cleaners that leave the entire room smelling like it’s never been occupied. “So,” Yuuri continues, “You can’t really have carpet. It’s too hard to clean.” There are some things you just don’t come out of carpet, and a lot of them are things that occur during an Omega’s heat. 

“But isn’t it… disconcerting?” Victor asks, looking over at Yuuri. 

Yuuri hums because he can see how it might seem that way. “No, not really. It’s not like you’re really concerned with the decor. You just want something in your ass,” he says before he can stop himself. He immediately flushes, self-conscious that he’s said that so casually. He can feel his cheeks and his ears get hot. Even if he and Victor are close, that’s probably something he shouldn’t have said. 

Victor just grins at him, “I suppose so,” he agrees. “Wait,” He says, looking towards his door, “is that why your room is the only one in the house to have hardwood floors?”

“Oh god,” Yuuri moans, burying his face into his hands. That’s exactly the reason. After he’d gotten his first heat and it was obvious he’d be having them in his room for a while, his parents had put in the effort to get floors that could be easily cleaned. They’d also spent a little extra money adding in a small bathroom attached to Yuuri’s room so he would never have to leave during his heat. 

“If your room is set up for you have your heats here, why don’t you?” Victor asks. 

“It’s not practical,” Yuuri says through his fingers. 

“Why not?” Victor tries to pry Yuuri’s hands away from his face so they can talk normally, but Yuuri’s far too abashed to look Victor in the eyes. Yet again he wonders if maybe having Victor plan his heat wasn’t the best idea - it’s been nothing but uncomfortable for him. 

“It’s embarrassing,” Yuuri admits. 

“It’s not,” Victor says calmly. “It’s normal. A third of the population goes through the same thing you do, and almost everyone has been part of a heat at some point. It’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s something special you get to experience and you should let yourself enjoy it.”

Yuuri leans sideways, letting Victor curl an arm around him and pull him into his chest. He’s heard this before and he knows he should believe it, but it’s difficult. Somehow, hearing Victor say it makes a difference. “It’s weird to bring someone back here to share my heat,” Yuuri says into Victor’s chest. 

“But it’s more comfortable here, isn’t it? I’m sure your family wouldn’t mind.” Victor suggests.

“Probably,” Yuuri says curling in on himself. He doesn’t want to look at Victor when he asks, “but what about you?”

He can feel Victor tense around him. “Yuuri?” He says quietly.

“I mean, your room is right next to mine. There’s a reason my room is separate from the rest of the house, but I don’t know how soundproof my room is.” The last thing he wants is for Victor to be privy to the sounds he makes while in heat. 

It takes a moment for the tension in Victor’s hold to release, but then with a soft sigh he pushes Yuuri away from him and takes his face in a hand, tipping it up towards his own face. “Yuuri, listen,” he says, leaning in so close their nose are almost touching, “don’t worry about me. It doesn’t matter whether you’re alone or if you bring someone back, I’ll be supportive of you. If you’re too uncomfortable with me sleeping in the next room, I can always take Yurio’s old room. Do what  _ you _ want.”

Victor’s face is so close to Yuuri’s. He can see all the nuances in his eyes - the cerulean mixed with the azure. He can see the dark circles underneath that belie those bright eyes. Below that, Victor’s lips are plush and calling Yuuri’s own. “I want…” Yuuri starts. There’s a great many things he wants. One of them being Victor. 

“Take what you want,” Victor purrs, eyes glimmering. Yuuri holds his breath in anticipation. They’re so close and it would take so little to close the gap between them.  

The moment is broken quickly when Maccachin makes a small yip beside Victor. 

The both of them freeze, and Victor lets Yuuri go and turns towards his dog. “Ah, Maccachin, sorry. We were ignoring you, weren’t we?” He coos, petting the poodle behind the ears. 

Yuuri lets go of the breath he was holding. 

“Yuuri,” Victor says, turning his attention back, “don’t worry about me. If you want to stay here, we can make it work.”

“Okay,” Yuuri agrees. If they can figure something out where he’s comfortable, he’d rather stay here in his room than in a hotel. If he hires someone, he’ll just have them come here.

“What kind of supplies do you need if you want to stay here?” Victor asks, settling back into his spot, still pressed up next to Yuuri, but one hand is resting in Maccachin’s fur. 

“Well,” Yuuri says, pushing his glasses up his nose, “there are a few things.” He pulls up some of sites he was looking at, his hands barely shaking. 

Although it’s rare for Alphas to be overcome with lust from an Omega’s scent to the point of committing crimes, it’s never wise to put yourself into those situations. General precautions are usually enough to deter interested Alphas. 

No one lives under the delusion that Alphas can’t attack in-heat Omegas. Heat-scents are quite potent and can muddle the minds of even the strongest Alphas if neither party is careful. To protect not only Omegas, but also Alphas, from non-consensual sex, the World Health Organization’s guidelines suggest scent blockers and locked doors for anyone in heat. There are plenty of social services that will help Omegas in need find a room or help provide supplies, but Yuuri doesn’t really qualify, and there’s no point in him using the services if he can provide for himself. 

“I’ll need scent-blockers for the doors and windows,” Yuuri says, opening up his heat checklist that’s saved on his computer and checking it quickly before he tabs back to his browser. He wants to make sure he’s not missing anything. It’s a pain to get some of the supplies with only a couple days notice if he forgets something. He would usually be stocked on most items, but he’s been living in different cities for years now, so he hasn’t kept a good supply of anything. 

“Oh, I know those,” Victor says, pointing at a picture on the website. “You can get permanent and detachable ones.”

Yuuri takes a look at the product Victor is suggesting. It’s a fairly new one that he hasn't’ seen before. It looks like it’s easily attachable to any door frame or window to create a scent-proof seal. 

“The reviews look okay,” Victor mentions as he slings one arm over the back of the couch behind Yuuri so he can get closer. 

“Yeah, it looks alright,” Yuuri admits. It looks easy to attach as well, which is a blessing. Some of the ones he’s used in the past have been very finicky or move without much prompting. He and Phichit had struggled installing ones on the dorm room in Detroit. It had been much more stress than he’d wanted three days before his heat. 

“You can keep looking, but I’d suggest those.” Victor must recognize them as something one of his previous heat-mates used. It’s a little surprising that Victor remembers a product like that when he’s been so clueless about some of the other things Yuuri’s talked about. 

Yuuri moves on to the next item, but it’s the brand that he used with Phichit and he’s not sure if he really wants to try and deal with that again. It’s a different product, so he should look into it, but he’s wary. “The reviews aren’t as great,” he says, scrolling down. “But they’re cheaper.”

“Are they?” Victor asks. “The other ones were kits. You’d only need two - one for your door, the other for your window. But this one comes by the foot. You’d have to measure your door and window and check.”

Yuuri exits out of the tab. He’d rather go with the low-hassle ones, especially if they’re similar in price. He adds the other to his cart. 

“Perfect,” Victor whispers against Yuuri’s ear. “I’ll help you attach them when they get here.”

They’re so close that Yuuri wants to turn so he’s back nose-to-nose with Victor. “I’m just… going to look at the air fresheners,” Yuuri says instead, typing it into the search bar. 

There are so many options, Yuuri isn’t sure where to start. The products range from wall plug-ins, to potpourri-like bowls, to solid sticks, to dispersal fans. He does a quick google check for how much product he’ll need for a room his size. 

“How long do they last?” Victor asks, reading over some of the product descriptions. 

“A week, pretty much,” Yuuri tells him. They’re almost all meant as one-time use items. He doesn’t need anything extreme like a fan, but he does want the hotel-grade ones. He’ll leave one in the hallway, just in case the scent-blocker around his door doesn’t function properly, and then he’ll need at least two for his room. 

The one in the hallway serves a completely different purpose than the one in his room. The one in the hallway will deter any Alphas outside his door. The ones in his room serve a twofold purpose; firstly, if he does end up hiring someone, they will help keep his heat-mate sensible. It doesn't’ matter whether it’s an Alpha or a Beta, it will work for both of them (even though Betas are not nearly as susceptible to heat pheromones as Alphas). Secondly, they’ll help with Yuuri’s heat-fog. It can get pretty difficult to stay out of that blissed-out, confused, foggy state when the pheromones he’s letting off just sit in the room and compound over time. The fresheners will deal with the pheromones and lower them to a manageable level. 

“Are there other things you need?” Victor asks as Yuuri clicks on a couple products to compare. 

“Hmm? Well, yeah. But a lot of it I can get at the drugstore if I forget. These are a little harder to find. It’s cheaper and easier if I order online. I could probably pick them up in Fukuoka if I wanted, but they’ll get here just as fast with two-day shipping.” He pauses, remember what Mari had mentioned to him. “By the way, Victor, I’m going into Fukuoka in a couple days.”

“Yeah?” Victor looks up at Yuuri, still so close to him. Yuuri is very aware of Victor’s arm draped behind him.

He licks his lips and Victor’s eyes dart down to track the movement. “Mari said you worried last night,” he says a segue, but Victor doesn’t seem to understand where he’s going with this because he frowns. 

“I wasn’t worried,” Victor tries to deny. 

Yuuri keeps going because it doesn’t matter whether Mari or Victor is right, he’s going to ask anyway, “I’m going to Fukuoka to meet with a couple potential heat-mates. Mari said that you stayed up late last night because you were worried. I thought maybe, this time, you could come with me.”

“Come with you?” Victor repeats, eyes searching Yuuri’s to understand exactly what he’s asking. 

“Not to the meetings, of course, but if you came with me, you wouldn’t be worried as much, right? And maybe you could do some sightseeing.”

Victor’s silent for a couple moment, but then he grins. “Of course! I love sightseeing! Does Fukuoka have any traditional dishes I should try? Or any buildings I should see?” 

Yuuri laughs a little because Victor can sometimes be as excitable as his poodle. “Yeah, there are a few places you’d want to check out. I can write you a list.” It makes him feel a little safer too, knowing Victor will be coming with him. The two professionals he’s meeting in Fukuoka are both Alphas, and although he knows it shouldn’t make a difference, he is a little anxious about meeting them. 

He has friends who are Alphas, and he even shared his first heat with an Alpha, but now that he knows what he wants, he can imagine talking to them about what he’s looking for might get a little heated. Knowing he has to be responsible and go home with Victor in the evening will make him a little more conservative than he was with Shoji. 

Seeing Victor smile at him and chat animatedly about the kind of things he wants to try in Fukuoka makes Yuuri feel good about where he and Victor are, especially after this morning. They’ve gone back to their usual banter and camaraderie, back to their usual relationship. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t as embarrassing for Yuuri this chapter, thank goodness, but that doesn't mean it won’t get worse in later chapters. I’m hoping to have the next chapter ready in two-days time again. 
> 
> BUT next chapter, the rating might go up, so please be aware of that. Also, keep sending those kinks because they might get used very soon. As always, comments keep me motivated, so I’d love to hear from you.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn’t notice, the rating has gone up on this chapter. You can probably guess why. From now on, I won’t be giving warnings, so I’m going to ask you to check the tags for any squicks you might have. I’ll make it clear again though - everything in this fic will be explicitly consensual, so you will never have to worry about those kind of warnings.   
> If you want to get an idea of where they are, try googling ‘Fukuoka’ and ‘Ohori Park’. It’s quite beautiful.

As Yuuri’s sitting on the train to Fukuoka with Victor he realises that it’s almost a week until he has to go off his suppressants. That means his heat is barely two weeks away. 

Victor’s sitting next to him, half-turned in his seat so he can take pictures out the train window. Some of the other train passengers are giving them weird looks, but Yuuri doesn’t mind if Victor’s enjoying himself.

They’d woken up early today to start practicing, Yuuri running to the Ice Castle while the sun was barely peeking over the horizon. They’d still managed to fit in a full practice before taking a cab to the train station. It’s an hour and a half to Fukuoka, but Yuuri has two Alphas to meet today, so he’s going to need all the time he can get if they’re going to make it back to Hasetsu before the last train.

“Ah, it’s beautiful,” Victor says, snapping another picture. “Which filter?” He asks Yuuri, switching between Hefe and Valencia. He presses his hand to Yuuri’s thigh when he leans over to show him the picture. 

“That one,” Yuuri says to the first option. 

“Perfecto!’ Victor says, slowly withdrawing his hand so he can type out a comment and post it. 

Yuuri smiles at Victor. He’s glad he suggested the Russian come with him on this trip. Despite all the travelling Victor has done in his life, he genuinely seems to still enjoy sightseeing. But Yuuri’s being selfish because it’s not just about taking Victor to Japan’s fourth largest city - it’s about him wanting company to meet with the Alphas he’s thinking about hiring. 

It’s not that he doesn’t trust the Alphas he’s meeting, but he’s worried about himself. Maybe it’s because his body knows his heat is coming up, or maybe because he’s been taking his suppressants for too long that their effectiveness is wearing off closer to his heat, but he’s been noticing smells more frequently. 

Just the other day he passed an Alpha on the street and he’d felt heat ripple down his spine just at the scent. 

Most Alphas use scent-blockers or suppressants because their scent is so potent - it’s just a general common courtesy, but it’s not mandatory. Alpha pheromones are not useful any other time than during an Omega’s heat, so it’s no hardship to suppress. 

However, in smaller towns where people don’t live in close quarters, there are more Alphas that don’t suppress, even if it’s only for financial reasons. Yuuri’s worried that the Alphas he’ll going to meet today won’t either. Their job practically requires that they should be off suppressants most of the time, and unless they’re using scent-suppressing body wash, they’ll probably have a moschate odour. 

Earlier in the week Yuuri had been so intensely attracted to Shoji, and he was a Beta with little to no scent. Although he’d been ridiculously enthralled with him before they’d even met him, he’s worried that an Alpha’s scent alone will be enough to affect him. It’s not that he can’t act rationally, but once his libido is awakened, he has trouble repressing it. Even when sitting this close to Victor, he’s aware of his slight musk even though he’s been actively trying to ignore it. 

If Victor is with him on this trip there’s no way he’s going to let himself go home with either of the Alphas. He’s hoping that even just knowing Victor will ask him how each meeting went will be enough to deter him from making any rash decisions on who he wants to spend his heat with. 

Although it was, and still is, a bit of a burden to have to deal with his heat right now, he’s also beginning to get excited about it. He rarely indulges in physical pleasure - eating has usually filled that void for him, but since Victor arrived to coach him, he’s been lacking in both. His diet is strict and he’s been far too abashed to get himself off while Victor’s in the other room. 

It’s been a long few months. Now, though, he has an excuse to indulge a little. Victor has even promised that if Yuuri is uncomfortable with him being in the next room, he’ll spend the week in a different part of the house. Yuuri will most likely take him up on the offer even though Victor has assured him that he’s heard barely a peep from Yuuri’s room while living there, meaning it should be more than soundproofed. 

He glances at Victor who’s still watching the landscape whip by out the train window. He wonders what he’d do if Victor asked to share his heat. He’s not sure if Victor already has - he’d asked something very similar that first day, but he’s sure it was just related to Victor wanting to help him plan his heat. 

If Victor asked him outright, Yuuri isn’t sure what he’d do. Sure, he’s fantasized about Victor sharing his heat before. Fuck, during some of his solo heats he’d imagined it was Victor there pleasuring him. But to actually have the chance to have him there? Yuuri doesn’t think he’d be able to accept the offer if only because he knows Victor wouldn’t be serious about it. 

Well, if Victor asked, he’d probably be serious about sharing Yuuri’s heat, but it would be out of duty instead of interest. Victor has been fairly in-depth with his coaching style, learning Yuuri’s life inside and out to help him understand Yuuri better. If Victor offered to share his heat it would only be so he could understand Yuuri better as a skater. 

That’s not what Yuuri wants from him. If Victor is going to offer himself, Yuuri wants it to be because Victor honestly wants him. That thought is laughable though. Victor desiring Yuuri? Impossible. It will always be a one-sided attraction. Yuuri will pine for his idol and Victor, although he’s finally noticed Yuuri is a person, will always see him as the skater who tried to imitate him. 

Yuuri  _ has _ fabricated scenarios in which Victor admits his love of Yuuri, but they’re all so farfetched Yuuri has all but given up on them. 

If Victor asked to share his heat, Yuuri thinks he’d have to say ‘no’. It’s one thing to let his idol coach him. It’s another thing entirely to share something that intimate. When Victor’s coaching him, Yuuri can separate his feelings: he’s allowed to draw on his affection for the man, the reverence of his skating, because it only fuels him to work harder and to prove his worth to Victor. Yet, if he were to have sex with him, pretending as if he doesn’t have strong feelings, Yuuri surely thinks he’d die. Because as soon as Yuuri has that, has Victor, body and mind, he would never let that go. 

If Victor offered, it would be no different the Phichit’s. However, it wouldn’t end the same way, Yuuri’s sure of that. Phichit and him are still friends. 

He sighs deeply because he can’t stop thinking about it - thinking about Victor stepping in and telling him that he shouldn’t bother meeting anyone else because he’s a better option. Yuuri knows both his sister and mother think he should ask Victor anyway, but he couldn't do that to himself. He couldn’t put himself through the pain of rejection.

“Everything okay?” Victor asks, pulling Yuuri out of his thoughts. Victor rests his hand on Yuuri’s leg again in comfort. 

“Yeah, fine,” Yuuri says, shaking off his mood. There’s no point in ruminating over it - it’s a situation that will never come up. 

“Are you nervous about meeting the Alphas today?” Victor asks, turning to face Yuuri instead of the window.

“Not nervous, no.” Yuuri admits. 

“Excited?” Victor tries instead. 

Yuuri’s mouth tips up into a small smile. “A little, I guess.”

“You said you wanted an Alpha instead of a Beta, didn’t you?” Victor asks. Yuuri doesn’t know why he’s asking because he knows damn well that’s what Yuuri said the day they were looking at the heat-mates online. 

“I was thinking about it, yeah,” Yuuri says anyway. 

“What about the Beta you met?” Victor asks. 

Yuuri pauses because he’s tried not to think too much about Shoji. He’s looked at Shoji’s profile twice since that night and he’s still as attracted to him as he first was, if not more. Shoji is a fantastic candidate for him and if he’d been an Alpha, Yuuri probably would have already decided to sign a contract with him. “Shoji was… he was great,” Yuuri admits. Victor’s hand tightens on Yuuri’s leg a little. “But I want to keep my options open.”

“Would you choose an Alpha over him just because he’s an Alpha?” Victor asks, starting to move his thumb in little circles on Yuuri’s thigh. 

Yuuri’s momentarily distracted by the action, but he catches himself. “Um, no?” He responds. “It’s not whether they’re an Alpha or not, although I think I’d like to try a full-blown Alpha. But if I don’t connect with any of them, I’d choose Shoji.”

“Hmmm,” Victor hums, thumb still moving in a comforting motion. 

Yuuri wonders again for a moment what secondary gender Victor is. It’s impossible to tell. Secondary sex characteristics don’t manifest in many outwardly physical ways. Ancient lore always depicts Omegas as smaller and weaker and Alphas as traditionally masculine, but there’s no truth in it. Yuuri himself is an Omega and he’s got a strong stature and he knows some very petite Alpha females that are exactly opposite of the trope. 

Yuuri’s already ruled Victor out as an Omega just because he’s woefully ignorant about the heat process. But it’s anyone’s guess whether he’s a Beta or an Alpha. Yuuri almost wishes he’d asked when Victor had offered to tell him. It shouldn’t make much difference to their relationship, but somehow he feels like knowing now would change things. 

“Which of the two are you most excited to meet?” Victor asks. 

It’s a little surprising Victor is interested. He’d been excited to look through the profiles with Yuuri, but after that he’d had no interest in Yuuri contacting them and he’d even been a little off-put by Yuuri meeting with Shoji. 

He answers anyway, almost pleased that he has someone to talk to about this. “Well, the first one I’m meeting with, Minoru, he’s younger than me, which is fine, but he has less experience. Barely two years.” Yuuri thumbs through his phone to bring up the email message. He clicks the link so he can show Victor who he’s talking about. “But he’s really attractive, so…” Yuuri trails off, shrugging. It’s not that he’s vain or concerned with looks, but it’s not something he’s going to gloss over. 

“I remember him,” Victor says, turning Yuuri’s phone screen towards him so he can get a closer look. “His rating was a little low. You think that’s because he’s so new?”

“Maybe,” Yuuri says, “he has some impressive stats because he’s young, though, so there’s that.” He then looks through his emails again to find the second Alpha. “And I’m meeting Toshi too. He’s… well, he’s 35, so a bit older than me.”

“A bit?” Victor’s frowning a little. He takes Yuuri’s phone to scroll through the man’s profile. “That’s more than 10 years older.”

“It is,” Yuuri says, unashamed. He’d found Toshi on another website after Victor had left. He has some of the best reviews Yuuri’s seen in awhile. “But he’s got good ratings. And at this point in my life, age isn’t too much of a factor, so, I figured, what’s the harm.”

Victor’s quiet as he looks through the profile. “He looks good,” he says eventually, then hands Yuuri’s phone back.

“I’m not sure which I’m more excited to meet,” Yuuri says as he glances through the profile again. “They’re pretty different from each other. The only thing they have in common is their genders.”

“Do you think you’ll decide tonight who you want to spend your heat with?” Victor asks. His voice seems light, but his eyes are intense and fixed on Yuuri. 

“Ah, no,” Yuuri says, scratching the back of his head. “I think I still want to meet the other two. And then, once I’ve met all five of them, I can narrow it down.”

“So you won’t decide right away,” Victor confirms.

“Ah, probably not. Not unless one of them really blows me away.” He doubts that will happen, though, because it had been a close call with Shoji and he still hadn’t rushed into the decision. 

“Okay,” Victor says, seeming to relax a little. 

His hand comes back to rest on Yuuri’s thigh again. It feels nice, comforting, to have Victor touch him like this. Yuuri usually isn’t one for physical contact, even with his family, but Victor is turning into the exception. Yuuri isn’t going to point that out to Victor though. 

“What time do you have to meet the first one?” Victor asks, brushing his thumb along the outside seam of Yuuri’s jeans. 

Yuuri licks his lips. “Minoru? Oh, um. Well, he said that once I made it from the train station to Ohori Park to let him know. He goes to Fukuoka University that is right near there, so he’ll walk to meet me. I guess it depends on when we arrive.” Yuuri checks his phone- they’ll be in at the station at 2pm, so he should be meeting with Minoru just before 3pm.

“What’s near there I could see?” Victor asks. 

“Oh! Well, there are several things if you don’t want to spend time in the park.” Yuuri says, pulling up google maps. “There’s an art museum, if you like. Or, there’s a castle there too. You don’t have to stay in the area, though. We can just meet back at the train station later.”

Victor shakes his head at that. “No, if you don’t mind, I’d like to spend some time with you. You have a break between the two meetings, right?”

Yuuri hesitates, but nods. He isn’t meeting Toshi until after 5pm because they’re supposed to go to supper together. “I’ll have some time in between, yeah,” he admits. 

“Okay! Then I’ll walk you from one meeting to the other, then,” Victor pronounces. “Don’t worry,” he says when he sees the small frown Yuuri’s giving him, “I won’t interfere. I’ll go sightseeing, and then when you’re done, you can text me.”

“Alright,” Yuuri concedes.

They start entering the city of Fukuoka then, and Victor turns his attention away from Yuuri and back out of the window. His hand stays a warm, solid presence on Yuuri’s leg. 

By the time they make it to off the train, any doubts that Victor might follow Yuuri are gone. He’s positive the only reason Victor has asked to meet with him between his two dates is because he’s worried about getting lost in such a big city. 

Since they arrived at Fukuoka station Victor’s been holding onto Yuuri’s sleeve and he keeps pointing at signs and asking what they say. Yuuri’s obviously forgotten again that Victor doesn’t speak or read Japanese. Touring around a city by himself without knowing the language is probably stressful. 

Now that he understands why Victor’s asked to meet him after his first date, he’s much more willing.

After Victor pulls on his sleeve again so they don’t get separated in the crowd on the bus, Yuuri, without thinking, pulls his sleeve out of Victor’s grasp and grabs his hand instead. 

Victor grins at him and squeezes his hand. “Ah, thank you Yuuri. I’m not to used to transit like this,” he croons. 

“Just don’t get too lost, okay?” Yuuri says. “Text me if you’re not sure where you are.”

“Roger,” Victor says cheekily, still beaming at Yuuri. 

They get off at Ohori Park at the opposite side from the University. Yuuri figures he can walk with Victor across the park and show him where the museum and castle are. He digs out his phone with one hand and sends a text to Minoru that he’ll be at the University in less than twenty minutes. Minoru replies almost immediately with directions to a cafe he’s waiting at. 

Victor keeps a firm grasp on his hand, pulling him close so their shoulders are brushing. “Ah, it’s so beautiful today,” Victor espouses. 

Yuuri has to admit that he’s right - some of the trees around the large lake in the middle of the park have turned oranges and reds and they make a stark contrast against the bright blue sky. Even the contrast of the trees against the skyscrapers in the background is quite something. 

“What a perfect afternoon,” Victor breathes out happily. 

Walking along the edge of the lake, hand in hand with Victor in the warm but crisp autumn air, Yuuri has to agree. “It is lovely,”

“Of course it is.” Victor says, leaning into Yuuri, “you’re here with me, what could be more perfect than that?” His lips brush against the shell of Yuuri’s ear. 

Yuuri blushes all the way from the back of his neck across his face to the ear Victor’s whispering into. “Victor-” he says in a shaky voice. 

“Ah!” Victor interrupts, pointing further down the lake to the old structure that’s peeking over the tops of the trees. “Is that the castle?” 

“Yeah, that’s it.” Yuuri tells him. 

“Woooow!” Victor seems excited, which makes Yuuri smile. “I want to go there.”

“Ah, well, it should be easy to get to. You’ll just have to walk up some stairs. It’s not too far from where I’ll be, so I can walk with you part way there.”

“Ah, thaaaank you, Yuuri,” Victor sings, lifting their joined hands and kissing the back of Yuuri’s hand. 

“You- you’re welcome,” Yuuri stammers back, the back of his hand burning with the touch of Victor’s lips. 

The rest of the walk along the edge of the lake only fuels Yuuri’s blush. Victor still keeps their hands together, even entwining their fingers at one point, and he keeps asking Yuuri questions about the buildings that surround the park by leaning in as close as he can. Yuuri can’t answer most of the questions because he doesn’t come to the city often, but Victor still seems to be bubbling over with happiness as they walk along. Yuuri has half a mind to cancel on Minoru and just keep walking with Victor. 

But, they reach the other edge of the park where they have to part - Victor to the left towards the castle and Yuuri to the right towards the University. Yuuri hesitates, tightening his hold on Victor’s hand in a show of anxiety.

“Call me whenever you’re finished,” Victor tells Yuuri, stepping in closer to him instead of away.

“Don’t get lost,” Yuuri tells Victor again, biting his bottom lip. 

“I’ll always find my way back to you,” Victor tells him, bring their hands up to kiss again. He presses the back of Yuuri’s hand that he’s just kissed against his face. 

“That’s a cheesy line,” Yuuri scolds him. 

“Good.” Victor says with a private smile. 

It’s just the two of them amongst the bustle of the city. Yuuri’s heart is stuck in his throat. 

Victor finally releases Yuuri’s hand. He gives Yuuri a wink and turns off to head in the direction of the castle. Yuuri wants to call after him, but he’s not sure what he would say if Victor turned around. He takes a few deep, calming breaths and starts walking towards the University.

* * *

 

Minoru is dull. 

Yuuri is nodding along with what the Alpha is saying, but he honestly has no idea what topic they’re on now. The man is handsome, and he’s smart enough to be attending a good University, but  _ fuck _ he’s boring. Yuuri doesn’t care about the… what was it? The girl in his business class that’s always raising her hand?

“Do you think?” Minoru asks him. 

Yuuri has no idea what he’s asking about, so he just hums and nods. It only seems to encourage the man to continue talking. He was hoping that maybe even just the scent of an Alpha would be enough to entice him into being more interested but Minoru uses scent-cancelling soap so all he smells of is clean. It’s disappointing.

Yuuri’s mind drifts back to Victor. He wonders what the Russian man is doing right now. Probably taking selfies in front of the castle. Yuuri swears Victor could honestly give Phichit a run for his money some days. Not that he’ll complain about seeing more photos of Victor on his feed. 

He should have just stayed with Victor this afternoon. Even though the walk through the park was about twenty minutes, Yuuri doesn’t think he’s ever felt like more of a couple than he did then. He tries to remember the last time he held hands with someone and he draws a blank. Maybe his mother when he was very young? Definitely never with someone he was attracted to. 

What did Victor mean by it? Yuuri knows he initiated it to begin with, but once they were in the park there wasn’t much reason to continue. He knows that Europeans have less concept of personal boundaries. Victor’s proven that time and time again. Were those kisses just shows of affectionate friendship? Or were they something more. 

He can’t think about it because his mind is all muddled. His ears still flush whenever he thinks about how he and Victor left. 

He glares at his phone that’s face-up on the table, wishing Victor would text him and give him a way out of this date, but Victor has been surprisingly supportive, so he doubts his coach will try and interrupt. 

“Yuuri?” Minoru breaks his thoughts. 

“Hmm?”

“Did you want to talk about your heat now?” Minoru asks. 

“Oh. Um.” Yuuri pauses. He already knows he won’t choose Minoru and he still finds it embarrassing to talk about his heat. Especially when they’re in a quiet little cafe like this where it’s easy to be overheard. “I don’t think so?” Yuuri tries. 

“Oh.” He looks surprised. 

“I’m sorry, I just… I think I might go with a Beta?” Yuuri lies. It’s easier to lie to this man. He doesn’t need to tell him that he hasn’t heard a single word he’s said for the past hour. 

“Oh, okay,” Minoru relaxes a little. “I get that. Alphas can be a lot to handle.”

Yuuri nods even though he doesn’t agree. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me, I’m sorry to have wasted your time.” he stands from his seat, bowing. 

“Aww, it’s fine.” Minoru says, packing up his backpack. “Sorry I didn’t work out for you. If you decide you want to try an Alpha another time, please think of me.”

The parting is quicker and easier than Yuuri could have hoped for and he’s soon back out on the streets. He’s a little dismayed that he’s just wasted an hour that could have been better spent with Victor. 

He immediately sends a text to Victor asking if he’s free to meet up. He checks Instagram while waiting for the response. Victor’s feed shows two new photos since the train. One of a view out over Ohori Park and the city and the other a selfie of Victor in front of the castle. 

His phone dings with an incoming message from Victor informing him that Victor is almost finished and he’ll start walking back the way he came. 

Yuuri almost makes it all the way to the castle before he sees Victor walking towards him. It’s easy to pick him out in the crowd - ash blond hair against a sea of ebony and brunette. 

Victor gathers him in a quick hug as soon as they meet. “Look, souvenirs!” Victor says, swinging a little bag from one hand. The small bag easily fits into Victor’s jacket pocket for safekeeping. 

“Did you have fun?” Yuuri asks, letting Victor take hold of his hand again as they start walking back towards the park again. 

“Yes! I wish I could visit all of Japan’s castles. How was your meeting?” Victor asks in return.

“Not great,” Yuuri says honestly. “He was like champagne - looks good, but very dry.”

Victor barks out a laugh. “Ah that’s too bad.” he says, but he’s smiling. 

“Yeah, too bad.” Yuuri agrees, staring at the way Victor’s cheeks are pink and his smile gives him a little crinkles at the corner of his eyes. 

“Where are we headed?” Victor asks him, glancing him out of the corner of his eye. 

“I was thinking we could head down to the water? I have to go that way anyway.” His next meeting will be not too far from the park, but towards the water. He has half a mind to cancel the meeting, but he knows he can’t judge the next Alpha based on his afternoon experience. But still, the two hours he has before he has his next date just doesn’t seem like long enough when Victor is so warm beside him. 

“Oh. I’d love to walk along the water with you.” Victor’s still smiling, tugging Yuuri along back into Ohori Park. 

The two hours pass far too quickly for Yuuri. They spend it walking from the park towards the water’s edge. Victor makes them stop in some of the fancier shops along the way, dragging Yuuri into the galleries full of glass sculptures and paintings taller than Yuuri’s room as well as the kitschy stores for tourists. 

The eclectic taste Victor has matches his personality. But more important than the spinning tops in the shop windows or the five-foot glass horses in the back of a shop so fancy Yuuri doesn’t feel like he should be stepping inside, is how Victor doesn’t let go of his hand. 

Even though they’re just window shopping, Yuuri doesn’t think he’s felt this doted-upon in his life. No one has spent this much attention just  _ being _ with him. There’s no rhyme or reason for what they’re doing other than Victor trying to make Yuuri smile. And he manages it so well. Yuuri hasn’t stopped smiling since Victor took his hand back in the park. 

By the time they’re standing at the water’s edge, Yuuri’s heart feels full to the brim. Although he might have felt uncomfortable in some of the stores, he hasn’t felt uncomfortable with Victor. 

As they’re standing there, staring out at the water, Victor disentangles their hands. He doesn’t move away, but instead wraps his arm around Yuuri’s waist. 

Yuuri doesn’t have it in him to protest. He just leans into it, resting his head on Victor’s shoulder. 

His whole body feels hot. He feels just as flushed as when his heat starts. He can feel a warmth in his belly that’s a mixture of both arousal and contentment. 

And somehow it feels wrong. 

He’d just been telling himself this morning that he couldn’t do this with Victor - pretend at something more when it’s only just part of the job for him. Because it’s not part of the job for Yuuri. He can bare his heart on the ice, but he refuses to do it here with Victor. On the ice he’s judged by impartial professionals, here, only Victor, his long-time idol, can judge him. 

He pulls away slowly. “I, ah, I have that other meeting,” Yuuri says. He’s actually late for it. 

“Right,” Victor says, the smile that’s matched Yuuri’s all day slowly slipping off his face. 

“Make sure you find supper,” Yuuri says, pulling all the way out of Victor’s embrace. “Because I’ll be having dinner with Toshi.”

“Okay,” Victor agrees, his face going blank as he watches at Yuuri fumbles with his phone, checking the time. 

“Try the motsunabe,” Yuuri suggests, keeping his eyes down and away from Victor, “it’s the traditional dish here.”

“Mostunabe,” Victor repeats. 

“I’ll, ah, text you? When I’m done?” Yuuri says, glancing up at his coach. Victor is keenly watching him, so he has to look away again. “I won’t be more than a couple hours. We’ll need to catch the train back. The last one to Hasetsu leaves at ten, but we should catch an earlier one if we want to practice at our normal time tomorrow.”

“Alright,” Victor responds, voice even. “I’ll find a bar around here and wait for you.”

“See you soon,” Yuuri mutters, giving Victor an awkward look before he dashes off in the direction of the restaurant he’s supposed to be meeting Toshi in. He hopes he’s not too late that Toshi has given up and left. It’s only been fifteen minutes, but he wouldn’t blame an Alpha for not waiting around for him.

* * *

 

He gets lucky because Toshi hasn’t left by the time Yuuri arrives. He’s seated by a window in a table that’s more separated from the rest of the diners. He stands when Yuuri approaches and introduces himself, “I’m Katsuki Yuuri, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Toshi,” he says, holding out his hand. His hand is almost twice as large as Yuuri’s. His shoulders are almost twice as broad too. He also looks like he works out in a gym twice a day. He may be 35, but he doesn’t look a day over 25. He’s even got a chiselled jawline with a five o’clock shadow. He’s the ultimate stereotype someone could come up with for an Alpha. 

Yuuri shakes his hand, expecting that’s why it was being offering it. Instead, Toshi steps close, pulling Yuuri closer by the hand. “Neck,” he demands, tilting his own neck to the side. 

Yuuri startles - it’s a little antiquated, but it used to be a common greeting between Alphas and Omegas. It’s a scent greeting: you’re expected to bare your neck, where the glands are strongest, and let your partner smell you. Yuuri hasn’t greeted anyone this way before because he usually doesn’t identify as Omega. 

He cautiously bends his head to the side to bare his neck. Toshi leans in quickly, nose brushing past the junction between Yuuri’s neck and shoulder. He breathes in deeply for a half second, then he pulls away, showing his own neck to Yuuri. Yuuri looks around, assessing whether anyone else in the restaurant has noticed the strange ritual, but no one is even turned their way. Toshi waits patiently as Yuuri leans in, feeling like he should at least reciprocate. He doesn’t touch Toshi’s neck, which is feat because the man is probably half a foot taller than he is, but he does take a deep breath in through his nose. 

He’s immediately hit with a strong musky odour that goes straight to his groin. He can’t help the groan that escapes his lips as his knees go weak. 

“Sit,” Toshi demands, pushing Yuuri towards the empty chair. Yuuri lets himself be directed to the chair, sitting down with shaky legs. He didn't think an Alpha’s scent would be this tempting. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Yuuri,” he says with a heated grin. Yuuri has this distinct feeling he’s prey staring down its predator. 

Toshi’s scent is still swirling around in his mouth, heavy, and he thinks he wants to be caught by this Alpha. This is the attraction he was looking for - the primal side of being an Omega. 

“So, you’re looking for an Alpha to share your heat with,” Toshi starts in right away. 

“Ah, uh,” Yuuri tries to get out, but the words won't come. 

Toshi grins at Yuuri, raising one eyebrow when Yuuri can’t even answer. He waits patiently, rubbing a hand thoughtfully across his face. His stubble makes a rasping sound as his palm moves over it. Yuuri gets a little distracted wondering what the stubble would feel like on his skin. 

Yuuri swallows and finds his voice. “Um, yes.”

“You like my scent?”

Yuuri nods, licking his lips, eyes darting back to Toshi’s neck. 

“Good. That’s one of the more important things. I won’t sign a contract if our scents are compatible. And Yuuri?”

“Yes?” Yuuri whines, dragging his eyes back to Toshi’s face.

“Your scent is divine too.”

Yuuri practically whimpers at that. The arousal he felt earlier with Victor comes rushing back quickly, but it’s only pure heat this time. 

“I have a previous engagement I had scheduled for later tonight, and you’re twenty minutes late, so I’ll have to cut our meeting short,” Toshi tells him. “If we meet again, I expect nothing short of absolute promptness.”

Yuuri nods, agreeing without words. 

A waitress comes by with two glasses of gin and tonic. She places one glass in front of Yuuri and the other in front of Toshi. 

Toshi thanks her by name, slipping her a bill. He must be a regular here. In fact, Yuuri’s brain manages to piece it together; he probably does all of his meetings out of this restaurant. He has a secluded table and no one gave them a second glance for scenting each other. 

“If you don’t want alcohol, I’ll get you a water. Otherwise, drink,” Toshi says firmly. 

“No, this is fine,” Yuuri says, taking a sip. He’s already starting to relax. Toshi is in charge here and Yuuri knows the only thing he’ll be allowed to do tonight is follow. 

“If at any time you feel uncomfortable, please tell me. Know, also, that you may leave at any time you wish. I will not, however, tolerate glibness. If I ask you a question, I expect a truthful answer. Is that acceptable to you?” He asks, sitting across from Yuuri with an air of authority.

“Yes,” Yuuri agrees. 

“Good,” Toshi praises. “Since we don’t have time for idle chatter, I have to get right down to business. Our compatibility.”

Yuuri takes another sip of his drink. 

“During your heat, do you like to be dominated?” Toshi asks. 

“I… I don’t know.” Yuuri admits. With all of his partners, Yuuri has usually taken the lead. He doesn’t think he would mind the firm commands of Toshi, though.

“Have you ever fantasized about being submissive to an Alpha?”

“Yes,” Yuuri admits quickly. 

“Have you shared your heat with an Alpha before?” Toshi really is getting to the point with these questions, but even Yuuri in his arousal can see the reasoning behind them. 

Yuuri pauses before he answers this time, thinking of Katashi who was an Alpha in name, but had none of the presence or scent that Toshi has right now. But he was no less an Alpha than Minoru was earlier on. “...yes.”

“Do you require the option of being able to penetrate your partner?”

Once again, Yuuri isn’t too sure. He’s had heats where he was able to reciprocate, and he’s also had heats where he didn’t. Toshi is staring at him waiting, so he gives a vague answer, “I don’t think so.”

Toshi pauses for a moment, taking a drink and letting his eyes roam over Yuuri’s body. “Do you enjoy more intense sexual play?” He asks, “for example, have you tried and enjoyed restraints?”

Yuuri nods quickly again. “Yes.”

“Are there any particular acts you wish to perform during your heat?” Toshi continues, leaning closer across the table, his eyes have dilated in arousal. 

“I’d like to try knotting,” Yuuri admits. He’s amazed he’s able to say it out loud. It’s something he’s been hoping for, but he hasn’t dared to speak the words aloud. It’s something he’s tried many times with some of his toys at home but has never experienced the real thing. It’s the main reason he’s been seeking out Alphas as potential partners for this heat.

“That’s something I am able to give you.” Toshi tells him. “Something I’m very good at, actually.”

Yuuri almost knocks over his glass because his hands are shaking so hard with arousal. He squirms in his seat. 

“Stay calm,” Toshi says in a low voice, one of his hands covering Yuuri’s to stop the shaking. “There’s no reason to get over-excited here.”

Yuuri takes a few deep breaths through his nose to calm himself. It just results in him getting another mouthful of Toshi’s scent. He whimpers a little, his face feeling hot all over. 

“Good lord, you’re responsive,” Toshi mutters. 

“Sorry,” Yuuri stammers out.

“Don’t be sorry, love, it’s a beautiful thing. You’re stunning.” Toshi praises again. 

Yuuri’s toes curl.

Toshi waits until Yuuri has calmed a little, the tension he’s holding in his shoulders relaxing, before continuing. “I should let you know that my stamina is no longer the same as a young twenty-year-old man, but I do have very dexterous fingers, and I am very patient.” It’s not surprising given his age. 

Yuuri can’t stop himself from saying, “That’s fine, I, ah, I also would like to try a butt plug.” He immediately raises a hand to cover his mouth, completely embarrassed for having said it so shrewdly. He always gets a too forward when he’s aroused. 

“Don’t be ashamed,” Toshi tells him, “not with me.” He takes Yuuri’s wrist, pulling his hand away from his face. “Ah, let me see those pretty lips. Perfect. I would love to help you find a plug that suits your needs.”

Yuuri flushes hard again, thinking of the man in front of him  _ behind _ him as well. 

“Now,” Toshi continues, “is there anything else you are desperate to try?”

“Uuumm,” Yuuri hesitates, not sure about speaking his mind again. 

“No kink is off limits for me,” Toshi tells him. “I have years of experience. There is nothing I haven’t tried at least once.”

“Rimming,” Yuuri says at that prompting. He knows it’s not a hardcore kink, especially for an Omega in heat, but it’s the only other thing he’s really been hoping for. 

“With the way you smell? It would be my pleasure,” Toshi gives him a lecherous grin. 

Toshi’s phone takes that moment to ring - lighting up on the table by his elbow. He immediately silences it. 

“Ah, my lovely Yuuri. If I didn’t have to be somewhere tonight, I would have stayed hours here with you. But, duty calls.”

“Oh.” Yuuri says a little put out. 

Toshi drains his drink and Yuuri goes to do the same by Toshi stops him. “No, please stay. Order something. The udon is fantastic.” He takes his phone off the table and shoves it into his pocket. 

It’s not like Yuuri is in any state to stand up and leave with Toshi right away. Besides, he doesn’t think he could see Victor right now in this heady, aroused state without doing something he might regret. 

Toshi makes sure Yuuri’s looking him in the eyes before he speaks again, “from what I can tell, you and I would be fabulously compatible. I’d love to taste your scent without the suppressants in the way, but from what I can smell now, you’ll taste sweet.”

“Thank you?” Yuuri says, unsure how to respond to that. 

Toshi chuckles. “If you want to meet again, or just talk about a few more things, send me a message. I know your heat is coming up soon, but I still have space for that week. If you decide I’m the Alpha for you, you can just send your contract by email.” Toshi stands up, brushing out his slacks. 

“Okay,” Yuuri says, looking up at him. 

“I also,” he starts, reaches into his pocket and pulls something out. It’s a small ziploc back with a something soft and dark inside. “Have this. It’s for you. Take it home. Use it however you want. If you’re trying to decide if I’m right for you, if just want to be reminded of my scent, or even if you want to use it for nesting, go ahead.” 

He hands the bag over to Yuuri who takes it cautiously. It seems to be a piece of fabric. He has an idea of what it is and he carefully puts it in his coat pocket for safekeeping. “Thank you,” he says sincerely. 

“It was my pleasure,” he says, taking Yuuri’s hand again and kissing it, just like Victor had earlier today. Their kisses feel completely different, but Yuuri isn’t sure how to explain the difference. “Good night,” Toshi says before grabbing his coat and leaving. Yuuri watches him wind his way between the tables and out the front door. 

The waitress is there shortly afterwards offering him a menu. He just asks for the Udon. 

* * *

Once he’s had supper and calmed down a bit, he pays and heads out into the evening air. There’s still a bit of light in the sky since it’s just after six o’clock. Without Toshi’s scent around him, his head is a little clearer. Toshi is exactly what he was looking for in an Alpha. He’s the epitome of sexual knowledge and maturity and his scent is beyond congruous with Yuuri’s. But still Yuuri feels like there’s something missing. 

He’s not sure if it’s because he doesn’t want to be completely dominated like he thinks Toshi will ask of him, or if it’s just because he doesn’t have an emotional connection to him, but something just doesn’t click. 

He texts Victor. All he receives in response is a photo of a street on the waterfront. He heads back to where he last saw Victor and tries to find the street that matches. 

Barely a three minute walk away he finds Victor in a noodlebar. He also finds him completely drunk. 

“Victor,” Yuuri says, sitting on the barstool next to him. 

“Yuuuuuri!” Victor slurs, draping an arm over his shoulder. “You came!”

“Of course I came to get you. We have to go home together.” Yuuri says.

“Home? Already? But what about your Alphaaaaaa?” Victor teases. 

“Met with him. I see you met with, what, six bottles of sake?” Yuuri looks up to the barkeep who shrugs. 

“Mnnn and I liked them all!” Victor proclaims, wobbling on his stool. “And the three beers I had before them too.”

Yuuri sighs. “Come on, Victor. Pay your tab and let’s get going. I want to get home so I can have a good sleep.” The bag in his pocket feels heavy. 

“Alright,” Victor agrees, sliding off his stool and leaning on Yuuri. 

Yuuri patiently helps him pay, thanks the bartender for looking after him, then leads him out of the bar and onto the street, shielding his eyes from the sun that’s beginning to set. 

He’s helping Victor walk towards a main road, arm around his waist in a bizarre mirror of the way Victor held him before they parted not hours ago. He checks his phone with his other hand for a bus schedule and route back to the train station. 

“Was he goooood?” Victor asks, nuzzling into Yuuri’s neck. It’s the same place Toshi had scented him and Yuuri jumps at the feel of a nose there for the second time that night. 

“Was who good?” He asks, distracted. Thankfully the bus stop they need is close-by. 

“Your date. Was he good? Was he handsome? Are you going to have sex with him?” Victor slurs the sentences together in broken English to the point that Yuuri has a bit of trouble understanding him, and that’s saying something because he spent many nights in Detroit helping his drunk American friends. 

“I don’t know, Victor. I told you, I won’t decide until later.” If Yuuri is honest with himself, Shoji is still at the top of his list. He just doesn’t think he could handle someone like Toshi right now. 

“Ah, thatsss good. You shouldn’t rush into those things. Don’t know who you’re getting in bed with. Me, I go to bed with Maccachin every night. He likes to cuddle.”

Yuuri rolls his eyes fondly. “I know. Maccachin is lovely.”

They wait at the bus stop, Victor still leaning heavily on Yuuri, whispering things against the skin of Yuuri’s neck. For what Yuuri can tell, most of it is in Russian. 

The bus is almost empty, thank goodness, and Victor falls asleep almost immediately on Yuuri’s shoulder. 

The woman across the bus gives them a fond look that Yuuri tries to ignore. 

Yuuri’s lucky because by the time they make it to the train station, Victor’s awake again and a little more cognisant. He’s even able to board the train (which they time perfectly) by himself. 

The train car is practically empty. Victor sits across from him in the fading sunlight, his hair lit in golden shades. Even drunk Victor is nothing short of gorgeous. 

“I had fun today,” Victor says, squinting into the last of the sunlight. 

“Me too,” Yuuri says. The highlight of the afternoon wasn’t his meetings with the Alphas, but the two hours he spent hand-in-hand with Victor wandering the streets. 

“Do I make you happy?” Victor asks him. 

“Why are you asking that?” Yuuri responds, then quickly realises he didn’t answer right away. “I mean, of course you make me happy. Victor, I’ve been happier with you in the past few months than I have been for five years. I don’t know why you even have to ask.”

“Really?” Victor says, his Russian accent thick. “I didn’t know. You don’t say what you feel, Yuuri. You don’t tell me with your words or your body. I feel like I’m fighting to make you happy sometimes.”

“What? No!” Yuuri stands up and walks over to where Victor is sitting across the traincar from him. “No. I’m happy Victor. I really am. I’m sorry I haven’t said it. Or… or shown it.”

“It’s okay,” Victor says, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes. “I’m just glad I can make you happy.”

They sit in silence the rest of the trip back, Victor dozing on the seat next to him. Yuuri can’t bring himself to ask if he makes Victor happy too. 

It’s dark by the time they arrive back at Yu-topia. It’s been a long, exhausting day for the both of them, and even if Victor’s hungover tomorrow morning, Yuuri can be he’ll still have to get up early for practice. 

Although Victor is probably completely sober by now, Yuuri makes sure he makes it to his room all right. At the door Victor smiles at him with sleepy eyes. “Goodnight my lovely katsudon,” he says and Yuuri melts with affection for the older man. 

“Good night, Victor,” he says in Japanese. 

Victor responds with the lightest of kisses on his cheek before staggering into this room and closing the door after he’s inside. 

Yuuri retires to his room as well, closing and locking the door behind him. He takes a deep breath, giving himself one last moment to decide if he wants to do this or not, but the answer is still ‘yes’. He’s waited far too long for this. 

He digs out the box from under his bed, placing it gently on his duvet. He pauses, listening for any sounds of his family or Victor, but everything seems to be quiet. He opens the box carefully, peering inside. 

He picks out the one thing he’s been craving for a while now: his knotting dildo. 

He takes the lube out from the box as well, noting that he’ll need to get some more before his heat, and placing it on the bed before he tucks the box back underneath. 

He takes the dildo to his tiny bathroom attached to his room. He busies himself with washing up and brushing his teeth, trying not to think about what he’s about to do. When he’s finished, he takes the dildo from where he placed it on the side of the sink and gives it a perfunctory wash wish just warm water since it’s been sitting in the box for a few months. 

Looking up the mirror he feels awkward holding his toy (that's a lovely blue colour) knowing what he’s doing next. 

Once he’s back in the bedroom he turns on a bedside lamp before turning off the overhead lights. He waits, sitting on the covers for another couple minutes, listening to the sounds of the house, but everything’s quiet, even for being so early in the evening. Victor is probably passed out in bed, which is one of the only reasons Yuuri’s considering doing this. He’s held off since Victor got here, afraid of the walls being too thin between their rooms. 

When he’s finally talked himself into it, he strips naked and gets under the covers. He almost forgets about the most important part, but he reaches over the edge of the bed and grabs the bag Toshi had given him from his jeans pocket. 

He opens the bag slowly. Inside is a piece of fabric that looks and feels like a washcloth. As soon as he pulls it out of the ziploc bag the smell hits him. It’s Toshi’s Alpha scent. He doesn’t know how the fabric got to be steeped in scent like it is and he doesn’t care. All he knows is he appreciates the small gift. 

The scent alone makes him heady with arousal again. He tries to justify it - his heat is coming up and after having been sexually dormant for months he’ll need to start off slow and stretch himself for his heat week. If he just goes right into without doing some kind of prep he’ll probably hurt himself in the long run. 

Just by having the washcloth near his face and remembering all the physical moments from today - the kisses on the hand he’d gotten from both Victor and Toshi, the casual embrace of Victor at the water’s edge - he’s fully aroused after barely half a minute. 

He’s honestly so desperate for this that he knows he won’t last long at all. He finds the lube from where it’s hiding in the covers and pours a generous amount into his palm. There’s no point in trying to draw it out - he’s been on edge since Shoji. He has days, months even, of sexual energy tied up tightly inside of him. 

His former wet-dream fantasy is sleeping just one room away from him and even if he feels a little dirty for using him as material again, he can’t help himself. 

The palm with the lube just brushes past his hard dick, leaving enough lube for later. The rest goes straight down to his perineum and hole. 

He turns his head to the side, shoving his face into the scented fabric that’s lying on his pillow. He breathes deeply and presses one finger into himself. A long sigh escapes his lips. Oh fuck, that’s even better than he remembers. 

His dick twitches, even more blood pooling there, brushing against the covers that are overtop of him. It sends a jolt of pain and pleasure down his shaft. His tip is overly sensitive from having been left unloved for such a long period of time. 

One finger slips all the way in, and he groans. His body is opening up to him - he’s made to do this - to take things inside him like this. 

He curls one finger, remembering the exact spot and motion to achieve what he wants. He gasps in when he brushes the very edge of his prostate. That means he also gets a mouthful of Alpha scent from Toshi’s fabric. It sends him into another dizzying wave of arousal. 

Instead of the dark haired person the scent belongs too, Yuuri finds himself imagining ash blond instead. Instead of a large, muscular body, he sees a compact build, muscular but lean. 

He arches off the bed, trying to fit more of his finger inside him. It’s not enough and he finds himself moving to the second finger probably earlier than he should. But he loosens quickly around the second intrusion. His dick keeps brushing against his sheets and that’s about as much stimulation as he can handle right now without coming. 

He tries to keep quiet, but the second finger does a better job than the first one and he can reach that pleasure spot inside him unerringly. He pulls his fingers out, changing positions to lie on his side so he has easier access that allows for deeper self-penetration. 

The only problem with lying on his side, however, is the sheets are no longer stimulating his dick. He thrusts into the hot hair under the covers helplessly as he fits two fingers back inside himself. He manages to move his free arm that’s somewhat trapped under him so he can palm gently at his dick, giving the light stimulation he wants. 

He stretches himself, scissoring with two fingers slowly. It may have been a while since he’s touched himself like this, but his body is relaxed because of the Alpha scent he has next to him, so he opens quickly. 

It isn’t long before he can manage a third finger without any effort. He knows he’s huffing small whines and gasps into his pillow, but he can’t bring himself to care about how vocal he’s being. The pleasure that’s mounting is too great. 

All at once he gets a particularly good image - Victor in his bed right now, doing the same thing he is - and a potent sniff of the Alpha scent by his face. He’s almost finished right there. He tenses up, dick straining hard against the flat of his palm. He waits for the weightless feeling to subside, hoping he doesn’t push himself over the edge. 

He finally manages to pull himself back from the brink, his hole still fluttering in anticipation of the endorphin rush. He pants loudly, gasping at the flickers of hot tingles that tell him he’s still so close. 

He makes the decision that he isn’t going to last long enough that he can tease himself. If he wants to use his knotting dildo, he’s going to have to do it now. 

He reluctantly pulls his fingers out, but immediately gets his toy, slathering it with the lube. He turns onto his back again, hips canted at an angle that will accommodate the toy. It’s quite a large girth already, and long too, with a flared simulated knot at the bottom and an even larger base beyond that. 

He desperately wants to thrust the whole thing in, but even pushing the tip in he knows he probably won’t be able to accommodate the knot this time around. At least, not without hurting himself enough that Victor will notice during his morning skate. 

He shakes as he presses the tip of the silicone dick in. There’s a slight burn as it stretches beyond what his fingers managed, but it only adds to the heat he’s feeling. 

“Ahh!” He cries out as the top of the dildo slides past his prostate. “Oh god, oh fuck, fuck,” he babbles. He tries to swallow his noises, but he’s never been good at keeping quiet. He tries biting his lip, but on the slow press in, he still cries out. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck,” he curses, panting up at the ceiling. It’s still early in the evening, if anyone wanders down this hallway, or even if Victor is still awake, he doesn’t want them to hear. 

The only logical thing to do is to take Toshi’s washcloth and shove it in his mouth. He bites down hard on the fabric, glad that it’s at least something to hold onto so his sounds are muffled. 

But of course he hadn’t anticipated what that would do. Being pressed up in his mouth and against his nose, the heady scent of Alpha permeates his senses. He gets two strokes of his dick and the dildo pressed all the way up to the knot before he’s coming hard. 

He feels like he’s coming forever. He shakes, all his muscles contracting. His holes clenches around the toy he has shoved inside, and his dick pulses five full shots of cum across his stomach, the first one reaching all the way to his nipple. 

It’s only when the pleasure subsides and he’s relaxed bonelessly into his mattress that he feels the creeping feeling of embarrassment. He carefully removes the washcloth from between his lips. 

It took a woefully short amount of time for him to orgasm. He didn’t even get his knotted dildo fully inside of him. He’s out of practice. If he’s like this for his heat he’ll be rung out by the end of the first day. 

He’s also aware that even though Toshi had been the one to start this for him, and he’d been the scent Yuuri was overwhelmed by, almost all of his thoughts had been centered around Victor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up cutting a bunch of stuff from this chapter because it was waaaaay too long. I hope it still flows alright. Goodness, Toshi came out a lot more dominant than I was expecting. I hope he didn’t come across too strong.
> 
> I’ve got a Yuri on Ice marathon planned with my friends (who haven’t even read this fic yet, damn them) before the last episode, but I’ll hopefully be bringing you the next chapter on Thursday, so no matter what happens, you have that to look forward to. 
> 
> I think the next chapter (7) is going to be something really spectacular. (Just like the episode in the anime!) I really can’t wait to get it to you. Your comments are seriously are my main motivation for writing, so please let me know how you think I did.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart might never be the same after the last episode. It’s the same for all of your reviews - you make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. Thank you for all your kind words; they really mean alot to me.  
> I really hope you like this chapter. Things are heating up!

“Yuuri,” Victor whines, sitting at a secluded table in Starbucks with him, “we’re here a half hour early, do I have to leave right now?”

Yuuri sighs, fiddling with the edge of the cardboard sleeve on his coffee up. “I don’t need him thinking I have a chaperone.”

“You wound me,” Victor says dramatically, placing a hand over his heart. “I’m far too young to be a chaperone.”

“You’re nosy enough,” Yuuri says, but he smiles at Victor across the small table. 

“Because I am worried for your welfare,” Victor says teasingly. 

“And you’re helping by crashing my heat-meeting?” Yuuri asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“You’re the one who asked me to come with you again,” Victor says, taking the lid off his coffee to let it cool a little.

“That’s because I thought you said you had some shopping to do,” Yuuri sighs. “I thought we would save some cab fare.” They’re on the other side of Hasetsu near the train station. The other Beta Yuuri had contacted is taking the train in this afternoon to meet with him. He’s glad he doesn’t have to travel again to meet the man. It’s been three days since their trip to Fukuoka and Yuuri still isn’t sure about meeting another Alpha so soon. But still, if he’s going to go for a Beta, he’ll probably choose Shoji.

“Mmn,” Victor agrees. “I do have to get a new pair of jeans. Maccachin tore through one of my favourites.” He pouts a little and Yuuri can’t help the warmth that blooms in his chest at the sight. 

“There’s some department stores nearby,” Yuuri says although he’s sure Victor already knows that. “And a couple more high-end places too.”

“I can always order online,” Victor muses, “but I’d rather try them on, sometimes the thighs don’t fit.”

Yuuri’s gaze flickers downwards as if to assess the state of Victor’s thighs, but the table is blocking his view. It doesn’t matter - Yuuri knows what Victor’s talking about. He’s got gorgeous, muscular legs, and he can understand why some pants might not fit Victor’s narrow waist and thighs at the same time. 

“I’d love to get you into some more form-fitting clothes sometime,” Victor says, running his eyes across Yuuri’s body. Yuuri thought he was doing alright today - jeans and a simple fitted tshirt. 

“I think your taste is a little too expensive for me,” Yuuri admits. “I don’t have anywhere to wear fancy things anyway.”

“If you let me take you out, we could find places for you to wear nice things,” Victor says matter-of-factly. 

“And where would you take me?” Yuuri doesn’t back down. 

“A nice dinner,” Victor says without waiting. “If we were in St. Petersburg I’d take you to the ballet.”

Yuuri’s about to protest, to tell him that they have dinner together regularly at the onsen and remind him they aren’t in  _ his _ hometown, but he pauses. He would love to go see a Russian ballet. If he hadn’t gone into figure skating, Yuuri probably would have become a danseur. After working with Minako for such a long time Yuuri fully appreciates the art form. He’s been to the ballet in Tokyo, but never in Europe. Victor taking him to the St. Petersburg Ballet would be… nice.

“Yuuri?” Victor asks, noticing Yuuri’s stuck on a response. 

“Oh, well,” Yuuri catches himself, “we’re not in St. Petersburg, so I guess there’s no point.”

Victor huffs and rolls his eyes. “You’re  _ missing _ the point, Yuuri. You’d look so good in a bespoke suit.”

“Oh crap,” Yuuri exclaims. 

“What did you expect? I think your body is beautiful and I-” Victor stops as he notices Yuuri isn’t focused on him anymore, but rather something over his shoulder. He turns in his seat to look. A young, handsome man has just entered the coffee shop. He stands out because he’s obviously doesn’t have any Japanese origins. He’s blond-haired and blue-eyed. 

“Crap, this isn’t good,” Yuuri says to himself in Japanese. Victor frowns at him. The man who’s just arrived, 20 minutes early, is the next potential heat-partner that Yuuri’s supposed to be meeting with. He’d just expected that Victor would grab a cup of coffee and leave before the man arrived. 

“What is it?” Victor asks, looking between Yuuri and the man. 

The man glances over at Yuuri, obviously looking for something. Yuuri raises his hand in a small wave. It’s less awkward to call him over now instead of in 10 minutes after they’ve been sitting at different tables all for the sake of Victor and the man never meeting. “Victor!” Yuuri says in a loud whisper. “That’s him. Get out of here.”

“Oh!” Victor says, realising the situation. He snaps the lid back on his disposable coffee cup, but by the time the man reaches the table Victor’s just about to take his jacket off the back of the chair. 

The man looks between Yuuri and Victor. It’s embarrassing to be caught like this. 

“Yuuri?” The man asks, looking at the right man. 

“Yes,” Yuuri says, blush staining his cheeks. “Mark?”

“Yeah, Mark,” the says, grabbing a nearby chair from another table the pulling it up to smaller one Yuuri and Victor are sitting at. “You can stay,” he says to Victor in English before he can get his coat off the chair. 

Victor pauses, looking at Yuri. 

“No, no,” Yuuri protests, blush heating up even more. “No. He’s just… he doesn’t need to stay for this.”

Victor nods and starts to pull on his coat.

“Oh. It’s okay,” Mark says, pulling off his scarf. “If you want to have a threesome for your heat, I don’t mind.”

“What?” Yuuri has to stop himself from yelling. 

“You sure have a type, don’t you?” Mark says, brushing his blond hair back and away from his forehead. 

“No!” Yuuri protests again, but now that Mark’s said it, he can see the similarities between the two men sitting across from him. “That’s not it at all. He’s not- he’s just helping me plan my heat,” he finishes lamely. Saying that probably doesn’t help his case at all.

“Whatever works for you,” Marks says, taking his jacket off. 

Victor’s sitting there with his coat half-on, not defending Yuuri, but looking between the two of them. “You don’t need to be ashamed, Yuuri,” he says finally, and that doesn’t really help the situation either. “I’m his coach. I’ve just been helping him get ready for his heat.” Victor clarifies. 

It doesn’t seem to change Mark’s mind. “Oh. Well, if you’re his heat-coach, then you might as well stay for this, right?”

“Oh god,” Yuuri moans, slumping forward onto the table, head pillowed into his arms that are resting on the table. 

“I haven’t actually ever been to a meeting like this before,” Yuuri can hear Victor tell Mark. 

“Oh, then you should stay. Seriously, whatever game or scene you two are playing, I don’t mind. You’re both attractive and I’m willing.” Mark says without subtlety. 

Yuuri whines into the crook of his arm. He can’t believe how embarrassing it is for Victor and Mark to be here together - meeting each other. It’s even more distressing to hear Mark talk as if he and Victor are playing some kind of sex game. 

“Yuuri?” Victor’s voice comes. There’s a light touch at his elbow. “I can leave. Just tell me what you want.”

Yuuri appreciates the gesture. He’s about to tell Victor that he should leave - that was the original plan. Victor doesn’t need to hear the things he and Mark are about to discuss. 

However... 

Yuuri has the wherewithal to stop himself from immediately instructing Victor to leave. All three of his other meetings have ended poorly. Maybe he needs someone like Victor around to keep the conversation on track or to stop it from getting too explicit. Besides, the whole point of Yuuri letting Victor help plan his heat is to let Victor see the steps Omegas have to take to get ready. This is one of those steps, so it would make sense for Victor to be a part of at least one of these meetings. 

“You can stay,” Yuuri muffles into his arm. 

There’s quiet for a moment before Victors asks in a calm voice, “are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri admits with a little more confidence. 

He can hear the rustle of Victor taking his jacket off and hanging from his chair again. He looks up in time to see Mark offer his hand to Victor. 

“Mark. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Victor,” the platinum blond responds, shaking his hand. 

“So,” Mark says, reaching into a small messenger bag he’s brought with him. He takes out a folder, then pulls a piece of paper out from inside. It’s a blank pre-made form. He takes a pen out of his bag as well and scrawls ‘Yuuri and Victor’ at the top in English. He notices Yuuri trying to read the form, so he pushes it towards him a little. “Sorry, I know it’s not usual to take notes, but I do a lot of meetings. I like to keep meticulous records so I don’t accidentally mix up my clients.”

Yuuri nods, the top few lines of the form substantiating Mark’s statement. 

“So your heat is supposed to start….”

“Monday the 10th,” Victor answers for him. 

Mark scribbles it down under their names. “I do still have availability for that week, so that’s easy,” Mark mutters. 

Yuuri finally pulls himself up off the table. He catches Victor’s eyes across from him and blushes deeply again. There’s a strange look on Victor’s face that Yuuri can’t quite understand. It’s a strange mixture between interest, arousal and anger. 

“And you’re looking for the full duration of the heat,” Mark confirms, checking a little box beside the date. He then scribbles down ‘threesome?’ beside it.

“No,” Yuuri tries to correct, tapping the note. “It’s just me.”

“Okay,” Mark says, but he doesn’t cross it out, just puts another ‘?’ beside it. 

Yuuri can't believe the audacity of the man to just assume that he and Victor are looking for a threesome. Then again, it's probably so unusual to bring someone to a heat-meeting who isn't going to be part of it. Even if parents escorted their child to a meeting (they'd have to be eighteen first of all), they wouldn't stick around to listen. Yuuri can't help himself. He takes two moments to imagine actually having a threesome with the two men in front of him. Hot is what it would be. He stops when Mark asks the next question. 

“What are your goals or hopes for the heat overall?” 

“To survive,” Yuuri says a little sarcastically. He's not sure why he went straight for the glib answer. Maybe it's a product of Victor sitting across from him that makes humming embarrassed to be truthful. 

“Alright,” Marks says but doesn’t write anything down. “Victor?” He asks, turning to the Russian man. 

“Hmmm,” Victor says, looking away from Yuuri. He doesn't say anything for a moment, but Yuuri doesn't interrupt because he's almost interested in what Victor will say. “I want Yuuri to have a good experience. He should feel comfortable the entire time. He should also be satiated by the end of it, without being hurt.” Victor finally says, refusing to look at Yuuri. 

What Yuuri wants is someone who can keep up with him. 

Mark scribbles down a couple key words, nodding at Victor. “And how do you think I might be able to achieve that for him?” He asks Victor again instead of Yuuri. 

“Well, I should hope you give him everything he’s asking for,” Victor says sincerely. “He deserves to be treated with all the care in the world.”

“Victor-” Yuuri says, trying to catch his eye, but Victor still isn’t looking at him.

“What would you say is his favourite way to be pleasured?” Mark continues on, still focussed on Victor. 

“I, ah-” Victor stumbles. 

“Does he prefer penetration? Being penetrated? Blowjobs?”

Yuuri can see his own blush mimicked on Victor’s face. “He, ah- Yuuri?” Victor deflects to him. 

Yuuri looks wide-eyed between Mark and Victor. At first he was a little put out that Mark wasn’t even asking him the questions, but now that he’s expected to answer this one, he can’t seem to find his voice. If it were just Mark and him, he’d answer without much hesitation, but with Victor here, it’s different. He wonders if it’s too intimate of a thing to say in front of Victor. 

Mark turns back to Victor. “I’m sure that after all this time together with Yuuri, you know,” he says, “you can tell me what you think he likes best, and then he can confirm it.” Yuuri can see Mark’s hand move to rest on Victor’s leg. 

The only outward indication from Victor that it’s happened is a small raise of his eyebrows. 

“Anal sex.” Yuuri says and both men’s attention snap to him. “Ah. I mean. Me. On me. In me.” He tries to correct. “I like anal when-” he breathes in deep so he can just force it out. “Being penetrated. I like that. But I really like the other two as well.”

“Alright,” Mark says, jotting it down on his form. His hand doesn’t leave Victor’s leg. Victor’s staring at Yuuri quietly. “Are there positions you enjoy more than others? Role plays that get you off better?” 

Both men are watching him intently now. He licks his lips and Victor’s eyes dart down to track the movement. “I, um,” usually he would be reluctant to talk about this in front of people he knows, but somehow knowing Victor’s attention is focussed on him makes him bolder. “I like being able to look my partner in the eyes. Whether that means I'm on my back or riding them, it doesn't matter. I like the intimacy of it.”

Mark jots down ‘intimacy’ and ‘face-to-face’. “Mmn, and?” He prompts. 

“I like the feeling of being full?” Yuuri isn't sure if that makes any sense, but he supposes it goes along with his love of his knotting dildo. “I, ah, I like having an orgasm when I have something in me. Especially if it's touching my prostate.” Those times are when he orgasms the hardest. He can't say for sure that having the real thing versus silicone gives him a harder or longer orgasm because he hasn't had sex with someone outside of his heat before and orgasms during his heat are always intense. 

Yuuri eyes are locked on Victor’s, but out of his periphery he can see Mark’s hand start to move up and down Victor’s leg. 

“Prostate stimulation,” Mark mutters, noting it on his paper. 

“And?” Victor prompts this time. His voice sounds far away. 

“I like seeing my partner in pleasure too. Knowing I can make them feel just as good is such a turn-on.” Yuuri can hardly believe he's saying these things out loud to Victor, even if Mark is sitting between them. 

“And?” Victor asks again. 

“I'm open to almost everything. I enjoy sex during my heat. A lot. There probably isn't anything I wouldn't try.” Yuuri admits. There are some things he isn't sure he'd be willing to go along with, but if it were Victor, he'd trust him fully. He would try anything Victor suggested, and that's the truth. 

“Ah!” Mark interrupts whatever weird moment they're having. “How about you list the things you refuse to do, or don't enjoy then. That might be easier.” He taps at a question a little further down his page. 

It takes a second or two for Yuuri to pull his attention away from Victor. “I don't know if I've tried enough things to say there's something I don't like,” Yuuri says, turning to tell Mark. 

“Well, I can work with that,” Mark says as he writes an ‘N/A’ by the question. “I have lots of experience,” he says to Victor, winking. “I've tried almost everything and I'm good at bringing my partners pleasure from it, whether they're an Omega or not.” 

“That's good,” Victor says distantly, breaking eye contact with Yuuri to look at Mark. 

“I've had lots of Beta and Alpha lovers,” Mark says, flirting with Victor. “I'm sure I could make you very happy if you gave me a chance.” 

Victor frowns at him. “Yuuri’s the one…”

“Right, right,” Mark says, finally taking his hand back from its place on Victor's leg. It's a little funny because they'd just been talking about Victor’s thighs not minutes ago. . “Okay, Yuuri, what are your plans for birth control?” 

That's an easier question to answer, less embarrassing too. “I have a doctor's appointment in a few days. I'll be taking hormones.” It's a little bit of a wake up call because the day he visits his doctor is the day last day he’ll be taking his suppressants. 

“Were you wanting to use condoms then?” 

“Uumm,” Yuuri hesitates. He'd rather not because an Omega’s heat is abated through skin contact as well as orgasms, so going bareback helps, but with a professional, no matter clean their results are, he's just not sure he feels comfortable. “I'll be getting a whole blood work panel done, and I'm sure I'm clean, but maybe still condoms?” He doesn't add that sometimes, during his heat, he craves being covered or filled with cum. It's probably a straight-up Omega quirk - wanting to smell like your partner. 

Mark makes a note of the condoms on another line. “Either is fine with me.” He checks the next item on his list. “Are there any toys you’d specifically like used, or want me to bring?” The question is addressed to Victor again.

“Actually, Victor and I were going to look at the toys I need to order tonight.” Yuuri tells him. 

“We were?” Victor is a little incredulous. 

“Yes.” Yuuri says. He’s had enough of Mark trying to run this meeting and giving all of his attention to Victor. 

“Alright,” Mark says, eyeing Victor who’s staring sharply at Yuuri. 

Victor had asked if he could see Yuuri’s toys, so he doesn’t know what the big deal is if he’s saying he’ll look through a couple adult toy websites with him. Thinking it in such simple terms makes him start to realize exactly what kind of thing he's suggesting Victor and he do. Yuuri can't blame Mark for thinking they want a threesome. 

Yuuri has to take a moment to breath. It was bad enough looking at pictures of penises when they were looking at potential heat-mates online, but now he’s just offered to look at silicone ones with Victor. Silicone ones that they both know will be going up his ass. Wow. He didn’t think that through. 

“If there’s something you can’t find online, you can ask me and I might be able to bring it. I even have things like portable sex swings.”

“Ah, no, that’s fine.” Yuuri says, swallowing hard because Victor’s still staring at him. He hasn't denied anything Yuuri's said, and he does look interested in the chance to look through Omega toys. 

“Have you already arranged a place for him to stay, Victor?” Mark is back to addressing Victor instead of Yuuri. 

“Yes.” Victor says, looking to Yuuri. “He’ll be staying at home.”

“And it will be scent-proofed beforehand?”

“Yes. I’ll help him set it up.” Victor nods, smiling softly at Yuuri. “We ordered the supplies a couple days ago, so they should be here soon.”

“Nesting habits?”

Victor shrugs when Mark looks at him. Yuuri waits until Mark turns his attention back to him. “Yes, I have nesting habits.”

“Will I need to provide any scent-marked articles for you?” He asks, pen hovering over a check box. 

“You mean, if I choose you?” Yuuri says a little snidely. “No. I don’t think I’ll need anything of yours.”

Mark hesitates for a moment, then checks his ‘no’ box. “Right. Okay. I guess the next pertinent question is would you care to describe the other candidates you’re looking at? If you tell me what you like about each of them, I can do my best to match them.”

That, at least, is a good offer, and it’s meant for Yuuri, not Victor. “Well,” Yuuri starts, looking over at Victor, who is now paying close attention to him. “I’ve already ruled one out - Minoru. He’s an Alpha from Fukuoka. We didn’t click, but I was interested in his stamina.”

“Alright, stamina,” Mark says, dashing it out quickly in the margins of the paper. 

“Then there’s Toshi.” Yuuri can see Victor’s hand twitch a little at the name. It was an awkward evening for all of them, so he’s not surprised Victor has reacted. “Another Alpha. He had a very strong personality. I don’t think we’d be a great fit past the first couple days of my heat. But he had all the Alpha qualities I was looking for.”

“Well,” Mark says after writing another quick note, “I’m a Beta, but I do have some tricks and some tools that I can use to simulate an Alpha. I have a strap-on attachment for my dick if you want a knot. Plus, I have an Alpha pheromone spray that makes Omegas hot and heavy.”

“Both sound good,” Yuuri admits. It won’t be the same, but if it comes close, it might work just as well. 

“Don’t forget Shoji,” Victor adds. 

“Shoji?” Mark asks, looking at Victor. 

“A Beta,” Victor explains for Yuuri. “He likes him better than Toshi. At least, enough to have sex with him after their meeting.”

“What.” Yuuri and Mark say at the same time. 

“You said-” Victor starts, frowning at Yuuri. 

“I did not!” Yuuri cries. “I mean, it was close, but, no.”

“No.” Victor repeats. Mark waits quietly. 

“No. I didn’t have sex with him.” Yuuri confirms. 

“But you liked him.” Victor tries. 

“Yes.” Yuuri says. He turns to Mark, “he was very nice to me, but I was most impressed with his stats. He has an amazing recovery time, outrageous stamina, and great reviews.”

“I have those as well,” Mark says. “I can give you some personal reviews previous clients have sent me, if you’d like to know more about the work I do.” Yuuri doubts that Mark can come close to Shoji’s stats. They were very impressive. 

“Your profile was sufficient,” Victor says, joining the conversation again. 

“You liked what you saw?” Mark asks, tuning into Victor again. He touches his hand to Victor’s bicep. 

“Well, Yuuri obviously did if he contacted you,” Victor tries to deflect. 

Man tries again, “I think the question I should have asked from the start is, how are you, Victor, going to be a part of this heat? Do you just like to watch? Do you like to share? I’d prefer if you joined in.”

“I’m not.” Victor says, a little shocked. He shuffles in his seat so Mark’s hand drops from his arm. 

“Why not?” he asks, confused. “Equipment issues? You can still help out during his heat if that’s the case.”

“What? No. That’s not it.” Victor says quickly. 

“Then why?” Mark asks. 

“Yuuri hasn’t asked me.” 

Everyone is silent. 

Victor’s expression betrays nothing. Yuuri is, actually, glad he hasn’t asked Victor. He’s already asked the man for so much, he doesn’t want to ask him for anything more than he already has. And that’s excluding the possible rejection he would get. Or the painful after-heat moment where they would go back to just being coach and student instead of lovers. No, it's still better if they just don't tough the subject at al. 

“Okaaaay,” Mark says slowly, obviously not following along with what’s going on between the two of them. He’s still under the impression that Yuuri and Victor are in this together. “But you’re helping him plan his heat.” He tries to clarify. 

“Yes.” Victor responds. 

“But you’re… single? It’s not a sex thing?” Mark puts down his pen, leaning over towards Victor. 

“No.” Victor says simply. Yuuri can’t help but feel a throb in his heart. He knows they’re not, but hearing it confirmed from Victor still hurts. 

“Then, it’s not too forward of me to ask you out at some point?” Mark tries. 

Victor looks a little startled. He blinks a few times, then looks at Yuuri like he’s confused. “Oh. Um. Well, I’m not really looking for anyone like that… besides, if Yuuri chooses you to share his heat, that could be awkward, and…” Victor is being surprisingly nice. Usually the fan girls that come around, begging Victor for a date, are treated to harsher words and a more clear-cut ‘no’. 

“Right. Of course. Uh, well, I’ll just keep on with this,” Mark gestures to his form, “shouldn’t I?”

Yuuri breathes out through his nose. He just wants Mark to leave. He wants to go back to just him and Victor. Not that there's anything between them, but he selfishly doesn't want anyone else in the way of their relationship, whatever kind it is. “I think I'm done with questions,” Yuuri says. He is. He doesn't want him or Victor to answer anything else. It's getting a little too close to some things both of them have left unsaid. 

“Or, well,” Mark says, looking down his paper that actually isn't all filled out, “I guess that’s about it.” He slips it back into the folder and then shoves it into his bag. He finally seems more aware this time of the tension between Yuuri and Victor. “Is there anything else you’d like to ask?”

“No, I think that’s fine,” Yuuri tells him. 

“Would you like me to send you a copy of the form for your records?” Mark asks. 

“No, I think I know my own preferences.”

That makes Victor cough to hide a smile. It’s still obvious. And it help to diffuse the tension between them. 

“Well,” Mark says a little flustered, “here’s my business card. If you decide I’m someone you might like for your heat, please call.” He drops the card on the table between Yuuri and Victor. “And,” he tries one last time with Victor, “if you have any non-heat-related things you’d like me to  _ take care of _ , just call.”

After he’s packed up and left, Victor pushes the card over towards Yuuri. “Are the meetings all like this?” He asks. “Because I can see why you need more than a couple options.”

Yuuri chuckles. “Well, they’re all different, but they certainly are a surprise every time. I mean, I’m essentially trying to pick someone I have to be locked in a room with for a week. There’s only so much that sex can distract from.”

“That’s true,” Victor looks thoughtful. “So why don’t you just spend it with someone you know?”

Yuuri would love to spend it with someone he knows. His last heat with Phichit had been fantastic. “I already told you, anyone that would want to spend my heat with me doesn’t live here.” Even if he was back in Detroit there might be a couple more options he could consider. Not here, though. 

“If you’re sure,” Victor says after a moment’s hesitation. 

“Did you still want to go shopping for jeans?” Yuuri changes the subject right away. He doesn’t want to talk about how small his friend group is. 

“Huh? Oh. Yes, if that’s okay.” Victor says once he switches gears. Shopping is a much safer topic. 

They don’t talk about the meeting again for the rest of the afternoon besides one brief moment when Victor’s trying on jeans - he walks out of the change room in dangerously tight pants and asks ’were you jealous?’ It takes Yuuri a moment to understand Victor’s asking about Mark hitting on Victor. ‘Yes’, is his truthful response, because he's a little distracted by the way Victor’s ass looks in the jeans. But he refuses to answer when Victor follows up with, ‘of which one of us?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry guys - there was supposed to be a bit at the end about Yuuri and his toys, but I ran out of time and I’m exhausted. I’ll make sure you get it in the next chapter. 
> 
> The next update might take a while because it’s the holidays and I should spend SOME time with family. I’m hoping I can get you something by Monday. (Would people even read this on boxing day?!)
> 
> Since you’ll get some info about Yuuri’s toys next chapter, PLEASE send in anything you’d like mentioned. I’d love to hear your kinks, especially when they might be toys Yuuri uses during his heat. Your comments are what fuel my writing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a good holiday. This chapter is a bit of a belated holiday gift for you (and for Victor’s birthday).   
> I’m sorry for all the typos in the last chapter. I must have been more tired than I thought to have not caught them (plus, I wrote most of the chapter on my phone and autocorrect sucks). I hope I did a better job this chapter of catching things. Please enjoy as things heat up even more.

It’s only after dinner, when Victor and Yuuri are finally alone again, does Yuuri gather the courage to ask something he’s been thinking about for a while now. Even more since the meeting with Mark. 

“Victor?” He asks faintly. 

Victor looks up from the Japanese-English dictionary he’s been flipping through - what appears to be his way of trying to learn new Japanese vocabulary. “Mmn?”

“Did you… did you want to help me look at some new toys I might need to order?”

The dictionary drops to the tatami mats on the floor with a muffled thud. “What?” 

Yuuri can feel the heat of a blush rising up the back of his neck, but he stays steady. “Well, I did mention today that you were going to help me, so I don’t see why you couldn’t. I was going to do it anyway.”

“I thought you just said that to get out of talking about it with Mark.” Victor picks up the dictionary and carefully places it on the table. 

“Yes. No. Well, Mari suggested that I should ask you to help look at my toys, seeing as you’ve never really used them and were interested, and then I told Mark, so…”

“You know you’re not obligated to follow through on it,” Victor tells him.

“I know.” Yuuri does know that. He could have never brought it up at all. However, the attraction he’s been feeling towards Victor is clouding his judgement. Even if he isn’t going to ask Victor to share his heat, it doesn’t mean he can’t derive a small amount of pleasure from looking at heat-toys with the man he’s lusting after. There’s just something about maybe using a dildo that Victor’s picked out specifically for him during his heat that sounds so appealing. 

“But if you’re okay with it, I’d love to do that.” Victor confirms. 

Yuuri nods quickly, “Yeah.”

“Now?” Victor asks, eyes shining with excitement. 

It’s less than an hour before Yuuri usually goes to bed, so now is the best time. “Can we go to your room again?” Yuuri asks. There’s no one in the dining room, but once again, he’d rather be somewhere away from prying eyes. 

“Yeah, of course,” Victor says, rising. 

Yuuri scrambles to his feet as well. His heart is jackrabbiting, beating a light but fast rhythm against his chest. He’s nervous. It’s one thing to have Victor look at scent blockers with him. That’s something he’d be reluctant to let his friends do, but it wouldn’t be too embarrassing. Besides, a lot of people have dealt with those kinds of supplies before. 

It’s another thing to look at potential heat-mates with someone. It’s intimate to talk with someone about who you would want to have sex with. But that’s still something you might do with a close friend. And although Yuuri isn’t sure if Victor and him really fit under the ‘friends’ umbrella, they are definitely close. 

But then it’s something else completely to look at toys. Toys that Yuuri will be using in just over a week’s time. Letting someone see the dildo’s you’ll have inside you is something outside of ‘friends’ completely. What that makes them, Yuuri isn’t sure, but not knowing isn’t going to stop him doing this with Victor.  

“Yuuri,” Victor says, stopping him. Yuuri looks back at the Russian. “Wear something comfortable.”

The tips of Yuuri’s ears turn red and he dashes to his room, not waiting to see if Victor is following. In his room, with shaking hands, Yuuri strips off his clothes and jumps into his pajamas. He’s not totally sure why he’s so nervous. It’s not like he’s expecting anything to happen. 

Yet… toys were still something he was excited to look at by himself, and it’s even more exciting to have Victor look with him. Even if Victor hasn’t used toys during an Omega’s heat, he wonders if Victor’s ever bought any toys for himself.

Yuuri has to stop that thought right away because he still has to walk into Victor’s room looking a little bit calm, and thinking about Victor pleasuring himself isn’t going to help. 

He takes a quick moment to look in the full length mirror next to his desk. He smooths out his pajama pants, then tries to fix his hair a little, but it doesn’t work. He takes his glasses off, squinting in the mirror as he pushes his hair back. His Eros personality has seduced Victor on the ice. Maybe that’s what he needs to seduce Victor off the ice as well. 

But that doesn’t really help him - he can’t play Eros all the time. Plus, he needs his glasses to look at the laptop. He leaves his hair pushed back, but puts his glasses back on. It’ll have to do. 

He grabs his laptop and jogs one door down to Victor’s room and knocks once before entering. Victor’s fixing the duvet on his bed when Yuuri enters. He’s only wearing light sweatpants; the expanse of his upper torso is on full display for Yuuri. The pants are slung low on his hips, sitting right below his hip bones and leaving very little to the imagination. 

Yuuri is no stranger to a naked Victor, and he should be used to it by now, but he’s never had a laptop with a website for Omega heat toys under his arm at the same time. 

“Yuuri,” Victor says turning around to face him. Because he’s shirtless, Yuuri can see the way Victor’s breath stutters when he looks to Yuuri. “I was thinking we could sit on the bed?” He asks, “it’s a little bit more comfortable.”

“Alright,” Yuuri says, carefully climbing onto the left side of the bed and propping up some pillows against the headboard to lean on. 

Victor casually settles in beside him, leaning in close enough that Yuuri can feel the heat from his arm through his thin sleep shirt. “Are you still sure this is alright?” Victor asks again. “Or are you okay with being my spicy katsudon tonight?” He teases. 

Yuuri fights down the butterflies in his stomach and smiles at Victor. “Spicy.” He decides on. 

“Perfect,” Victor says in a low voice, reaching over to the laptop that’s resting on Yuuri’ lap. He opens it and then lets Yuuri type in his password. “Do you have a site you usually use?” he asks Yuuri.

“There’s one I’ve used before that’s really reliable.” Yuuri admits. There’s no point in denying he’s ever bought sex toys online before if Victor already knows he owns a few. The website is already up on his computer, waiting on the splash page. Yuuri had already been planning on looking tonight since he’ll need to order before tomorrow evening if he wants to receive them before his heat starts. 

“Is there anything you’re specifically looking for?” Victor asks which makes Yuuri think for a moment. 

The only thing he was really sure he wanted to order was more lube and a new knotting dildo. He’d left his most-used one in Detroit when he’d moved because he was too mortified to pack it in his luggage where airport security might find it. 

“Well, I only have one thing I specifically need, but I wanted to take a look at what else there is. I don’t need much, though. If I hire one of the professionals, they usually have their own they bring.” The toys they usually bring have all been sterilized and they’re mostly non-intrusive toys like nipple clamps or blindfolds. 

“But you haven’t chosen yet,” Victor reminds him and Yuuri looks towards him. Victor licks his bottom lip before saying, “you don’t know what they’ll bring, so you should just get what you want. Then whoever you’re with can use them on you. It’s about  _ your _ pleasure after all. Make sure you have the things that will bring you the most satisfaction.”

“Yeah,” Yuuri agrees. When Victor puts it that way, it makes sense. He still doesn’t know who he’s spending his heat with, so it makes more sense to ensure he gets the things he wants instead of relying on someone else. 

“What about this one?” Victor asks, pointing to a fairly large dildo that’s scrolling by on the main page. Yuuri wonders if this will be like choosing heat-mates where Victor points out differing items to ascertain what Yuuri prefers instead of just asking. 

“I have one kind of like that,” Yuuri admits. Otherwise it would probably have been a good choice. 

“What do you have then?” Victor asks, leaning into Yuuri so his arm and shoulder are behind Yuuri’s back. 

“Uuum,” Yuuri has to think. He hasn’t been using them much since Victor has gotten here. “I have a few things. Not a lot since I haven’t had a heat here in almost six years.”

“Yuuri,” Victor leans even closer, his hand touching Yuuri’s hip briefly, “how do you expect me to help you find things if I don’t even know what you already have?”

“Oh. Ah.” Yuuri freezes. Of course. It makes sense to check what he has so they don’t get duplicates. But, then he’ll have to let Victor see them. See the toys he’s used on himself before. 

“Yuuuuuri,” Victor purrs - he can feel the rumble of his voice against his side. “Don’t worry. I won’t judge you. I’ll even show you my collection if you want.”

“Your collection?” Yuuri stutters. He hadn’t even imagined Victor had his own. 

“Of course. You think I’ve never used dildo before? I told you that I enjoy being fucked, so there’s no reason to think I wouldn’t indulge in pleasuring myself that way.” Victor says it nonchalantly as if he’s talking about his favourite food instead of sex. 

“Oh,” Yuuri says faintly. He tries his best not to think about Victor using a dildo on himself, and he ends up ruminating for a moment, trying to remember any time that he might have glossed over before that would suggest Victor had used a dildo here, in this room, near Yuuri’s room, in his house,  _ so  _ close to him, since he arrived. He comes up empty, but the way Victor’s talking about it, he’s positive Victor must have used it at least one point. “You brought them with you?” Yuuri blinks, looking over at Victor. 

Victor maintains eye contact with a slight smile on his lips. “Of course. I wasn’t sure how easy it would be to find a replacement here, so I brought it just in case. And it’s a good thing too - people willing to have casual sex with me are harder to find here in such a small town.” That definitely makes it sound as if Victor has used it recently because he certainly hasn’t been out on any dates since he arrived. 

“There’s Mark,” Yuuri says without thinking. Mark was very interested in Victor and he certainly had the anatomy Victor’s looking for, if his profile pictures are to be believed. 

“Not really what I was looking for.” Victor says slowly. 

They pause there, saying nothing, nose to nose, and staring into each other’s eyes. Yuuri wonders what Victor means by that. What exactly is he looking for if not someone like Mark. 

“Go on, then,” Victor says softly, nudging him with his shoulder. “Grab the toys you have.”

Yuuri follows orders without protest, the rational part of his brain still stuck on Victor’s own possible toy collection. He slides out of bed and goes towards his room, throwing one last glance at Victor who’s waiting on the bed, still giving him a soft smile, before he leaves. 

The box is easy enough to pull out from under his bed, but it’s harder to actually take it to Victor’s room. He debates for a quick second whether or not he should take some of the more embarrassing things out of the box so Victor doesn’t see, but he realizes that he’ll be looking at far more humiliating things online and there's no point trying to be modest now. 

Before he overthinks things, he grabs the box and walks out of his room. He said he wanted to do this with Victor, even if it’s for his own sick pleasure, so he shouldn’t back down now. 

When he gets back, Victor’s still sitting on the bed, but under the covers, and there’s an inconspicuous box sitting on the bedside table. 

Victor pulls back the duvet to invite Yuuri back in next to him. Yuuri doesn’t hesitate to hop in. They are both still sitting up against the headboard, but their legs are pressed up next to each other under the covers and Victor almost immediately slips one arm behind Yuuri. 

“Alright, let’s see.” Victor prompts, nudging Yuuri. 

With a deep breath, Yuuri take the lid off his shoebox-like package and hands the box to Victor. 

Victor takes it tentatively, but then dumps the whole thing out on the bed so they can see everything. Yuuri flushes because all the toys he owns right now are on full display. 

Victor makes a dark noise in the back of his throat as he assesses what Yuuri has. “Wow,” he says a little quietly. 

Yuuri suddenly feels like he’s on the verge of panicking  - what if Victor thinks some of these things are weird? What if he actually is going to judge him. There’s certainly more than just dildo’s in the box. 

But then Yuuri notices the light blush across Victor’s cheeks. Victor bites his bottom lip, looking only at the items on the bedspread and says, “this is a good collection, Yuuri.”

He immediately picks up the knotting dildo that Yuuri had used not days ago, turning it over in his hand to inspect it. It’s been thoroughly cleaned since it’s last use, but even knowing where it’s usually used, combined with Victor actually handling it, makes Yuuri flush a deep red. 

“Victor,” he says, halfheartedly trying to take the knotting dildo away from the man but he’s also trying to hide his red face. 

If Victor notices his embarrassment, he doesn't mention it, just wraps one hand around the knot portion and asks, “isn’t this a little on the small side?”

Yuuri gapes at him, amazed that Victor’s pointed out something like that. “What?”

“Well, aren’t they usually larger? Alpha dicks, that is.” Victor feels the need to clarify. 

“I- I, well, I wouldn’t really know.” Yuuri stammers. He’s seen proper Alpha dicks in porn, but those usually aren’t a good judge of what’s average. “How do you-”

“Oh, I’ve had sex with an Alpha before,” Victor says casually. 

“You’ve what?” Yuuri asks, swallowing hard. 

“I’ve slept with all three secondary genders, of course. And I think I’ve been with every gender combination?” Victor crinkles his nose as he thinks about it - the knotting dildo still in his hand. 

“Really?” Yuuri asks, a little daunted by the fact that Victor has had so many different partners. 

“Well, just because I’ve only shared a heat with an Omega a couple times doesn’t mean I don’t have sex outside of heats.” Victor reminds him. 

It’s almost the opposite for Yuuri. He’s only ever had sex during his heat - never outside of it. 

“But this is a little small,” Victor says again, looking at the dildo in his hand again. “And the colour’s just a little off,” he says, winking at Yuuri. 

That makes Yuuri laugh a little; dispelling some of the tension he’s feeling. He quite likes the bright blue colour of the dildo, but he won’t tell Victor in case he makes any kind of connection between his own eyes and the silicone dick. 

“If you really want an Alpha experience, you should get one that’s more true-sized,” Victor suggests, then hands the knotting dildo to Yuuri who holds onto it because he’s not sure what else to do with it. 

“Yeah. Okay,” Yuuri agrees. 

“A little more this size,” Victor adds, picking up the only other dildo in Yuuri’s collection - a large realistic silicone dildo with a suction cup on the end. 

Yuuri flushes, gripping the knotting one in his hands tightly. “I, ah, I haven’t used that one much,” he tries to tell Victor. 

“Ah, why not?” Victor asks, “it must be so handy with a base like this. Plus it’s so realistic it makes your mouth water.” 

“Viiiiictor,” Yuuri whines as his face heats up with an even harder blush. He can’t cover his face with his hands because he’s still holding onto the blue dildo, so he leans into Victor’s bare shoulder, face hot against Victor’s skin. 

“What?” Victor says innocently, eyes sparkling mischievously, “you’ve never put one in your mouth?” The hand he has behind Yuuri’s back lightly touches Yuuri’s hip to pull him just a little closer. 

The truth is, no matter if Victor is talking about the real thing or the silicone, Yuuri’s had it in his mouth. 

“The silicone doesn’t actually taste that bad,” Victor tells him. 

“I know,” Yuuri says before he can stop himself. He makes a little groaning noise as soon as he realises what he’s just implied. 

“Ah, Yuuri, that’s so hoooot.” Victor mocks a little in a sing-song voice. “Tell me what else you’ve done with this.” He waves the dildo a little so it jiggles in his hand, grinning extremely wide with his cute heart-shaped mouth. 

“Oh my god, Victor,” Yuuri protests, trying hard to be mature about the whole thing as he grabs the dildo out of Victor’s hand. He’s now holding both silicone dicks. 

He needs to stop blushing - he asked Victor to look at these things with him and just because Victor’s insinuating a lot of things doesn’t mean he’s doing it for any other reason than to tease Yuuri into blushing. He needs to get over the fact that he’s sitting in a bed with a half-naked Victor. He steels himself, promising himself that he’ll get through tonight with a minimum amount of blushing. 

He looks at Victor who’s still smiling happily and says, “I’ve used both at the same time, of course.” He holds up both dildos. “This one,” he brandishes the knotting one, “inside me, and this one,” he gestures with the larger one, “in my mouth. It’s barely enough, but it gets the job done” 

This time it’s Victor’s turn to blush. It’s just a little flush across his nose, but it’s cute and very telling. “Yuuri,” he says softly, his thumb brushing against the skin right above the waistband of Yuuri’s pajama pants. 

“You wanted to know,” Yuuri tells him matter-of-factly. His heart feels like it’s racing, but look on Victor’s face was worth it. He carefully places both silicone dicks back inside his empty box. 

“I did,” Victor admits, “I  _ do _ ,” he corrects, pulling Yuuri’s attention back to him.

The two of them hesitate, cuddled close to each other, sex toys strewn over their laps, maintaining eye contact. Yuuri wonders if this is the moment where he’s supposed to lean just those couple inches forward and close the distance between their lips. His eyes dart down to Victor’s lips when he darts his tongue out to wet them. Victor’s eyes scan Yuuri’s face as if he’s looking for something in Yuuri’s expression. 

But how can Victor want what Yuuri wants? How could Victor possibly want Yuuri in the same way Yuuri wants him? Yuuri’s just projecting his own feelings onto his coach and he needs to control himself enough before he does something he regrets, like kissing Victor. He’s been confused this past week only because Victor has been helping to plan his heat and the romantic side of him has been screaming how usually that’s a job reserved for lovers. 

Before he can make a fool of himself, or stare at Victor’s plush lips for too long, he turns back to the toys, picking up the prostate massager he owns. “I’ve tried this,” he croaks out past the nervous lump in his throat, “but I’ve never really gotten it to work. I think you have to be really relaxed.”

He can hear Victor let out a large huff of air as he mutters something under his breath in Russian. Yuuri turns back to look at him, but he’s smiling softly at Yuuri, so it seems like everything’s fine. “Yeah,” he agrees, “apparently it takes a bit of training to get them to work, but they can give you fantastic multiple orgasms.” He takes the small strangely shaped vibrator from Yuuri. 

“Do you use them?” Yuuri asks. 

“Hmm? Oh, no,” Victor says as he leans over to put it in the box with the dildos. “I just know someone who uses them. He loves them, but it took months of trying to really get it to work.”

Yuuri doesn’t have months to train his body to orgasm from the prostate massager. It’s not like he didn’t enjoy it - it put very pleasurable vibrations on his prostate and perineum, enough that he’d even gotten a fantastic orgasm out of it, but he still needed manual stimulation to cum and the point of the prostate massager is it’s supposed to give you a ‘hands free’ option that results in dry orgasms. 

“Handcuffs?” Victor asks as he picks up the cheap cuffs off the bed. 

Yuuri rolls his eyes a little. “I don’t think I’ve ever used those ones. I’ve used handcuffs before, of course,” he says, thinking of Phichit, “but not these ones. It’s kind of hard to do if you’re by yourself.”

“I can imagine,” Victor says, clicking the cuffs open. 

They don’t require a key - just a press of a button near the chain to release. Yuuri had tried to use them once on himself because he could close and release with one hand, but it just hadn’t given him the feeling he was looking for. 

Victor snaps one of the cuffs around his wrist, “but you’ve tried restraints before?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” Yuuri admits, liking the look of the metal against Victor’s pale skin. “Mark, not the one we met today, the heat partner I hired in Detroit, he introduced me. Just some silk at first, you know?”

“Mark?” Victor chuckles at that. “Do you have a preference for men with that name?”

“No,” Yuuri laughs a little. “I didn’t choose them for that. Mark just happens to be a common name.”

“A common name in Japan?” Victor teases. 

Yuuri bumps his shoulder against Victor’s. “No. Stop being ridiculous.”

“Alright, alright,” Victor concedes, “but tell me more about these silk ties  _ Mark _ used.”

“What else do I need to say?” Yuuri asks. “I liked them, we used them.”

“You didn’t use any other kinds? Like these?” Victor lifts his wrist so the cuffs jingle a bit. 

“Not with Mark, no.” Yuuri tells him. “He only brought the silk ties for my heat and it wasn’t like we could go out to get anything heavier. I think he brought it originally for a blindfold, but they worked fine and my wrists didn’t hurt. With Phichit, though, we bought some fuzzy ones. I know they’re usually gag gifts, and they bruised a little, but I really liked them.”

“Wait,” Victor says, tensing a little beside him. “Just put the handcuff talk to the side for a moment… Phichit? The Thai skater you worked with in Detroit?” 

“Yup!” Yuuri says, smiling. Phichit’s probably his best friend still. “That’s who I spent my last heat with.” He realises he hasn’t told Victor that yet, in fact, Victor probably doesn’t know much about his previous partners, although there’s a only a few to talk about. 

“You shared your heat with him?” Victor frowns. 

“Yeah. Back in Detroit.  I was thinking about hiring someone again, but I was talking to Phichit about it and he offered. We’re really good friends, so although it was a little awkward at first, it turned out perfectly.” Yuuri thinks back to that last heat with a fondness. After the urgency of the first day had passed, he and Phichit had a great time the rest of the week. They’d laughed and experimented and just generally enjoyed themselves. It had still been a little painful and desperate at times still, but worthwhile in the end. 

“He just… asked?” Victor tries to clarify. 

“Oh. Yeah. I was never going to ask him - he was my best friend and I didn’t want to ruin things, and it’s not like we had feelings for each other, but when I mentioned hiring someone, Phichit offered, and after a bit of convincing, I said yes.” Phichit had actually spent two full days talking to Yuuri about why it wasn’t a problem. It was just sex with friends - Omegas did things like that all the time - and Phichit had recently turned eighteen and wanted to spend a heat with an Omega. 

“But, you’re still just friends, or…?” Victor’s watching him intently. 

“Oh. Just friends. For sure.” Yuuri responds, unsure of why Victor’s so interested in him and Phichit. “I told him about the restraints with Mark and we made sure to get some handcuffs,” he says, bringing the topic back to the toys. 

“So, you like being restrained?” Victor asks, moving on from the Phichit topic reluctantly. 

“Yeah, I think so. As long as it’s with someone who I trust.” He thinks about the heat partners he’s met over the past week, but he’s not sure if he’d be comfortable enough with any of them. “I guess maybe that’s something I should look at tonight,” he says, glancing over at his laptop that’s still sitting on the bed near his knee. 

“I’m sure I have some silk ribbon or something,” Victor says, looking over to some of the boxes that are still piled in one corner of his room, “even if it’s from one of my old costumes. You could use that instead of buying something.”

Yuuri has to stop himself from getting too excited - he’d love nothing more than to use some fabric from one of Victor’s old costumes. He gathers some composure before saying, “That would be okay, but I was thinking something leather? Something a little more secure.”

“Right, of course,” Victor says, pulling at the cuff around his wrist. “I can see why. These would probably hurt if you used them to long or pulled to hard.”

“Yeah. The fuzzy ones Phichit and I used were cheesy, but at least they were padded.” 

Yuuri can see the way Victor swallows as he pulls at the cuffs, finally pressing the release button and taking them off. “I hope the person you choose to share your heat with makes sure you’re being safe. I don’t want you showing up to practice at the end of the week with your wrists or ankles bruised.”

Yuuri sighs because it’s something the two of them should talk about - how drained and physically weak Yuuri will be once his heat’s over. He’ll most likely be low on calories and a bit dehydrated. And because he’ll be using the lower half of his body for the majority of the week he probably won’t be able to land jumps safely for the first few days. He doesn’t want to ruin the mood now, though, so he stows it to discuss later. “I don’t think it’ll get that rough,” he says instead.

“As long as you’re being safe, that’s all that matters,” Victor says as he puts the cuffs into the box. He then picks up the next item on the bedspread. A fleshlight. 

“Oh, ah,” Yuuri fusses, “I don’t actually use that.”

“Oh?” Victor raises and eyebrow as if he doesn't believe Yuuri. 

“I don’t.” Yuuri pouts. “It’s a lot of work to clean it, so I usually don’t bother.”

“You know you used to be able to buy a fleshlight that was supposed to be me?” Victor says, running his fingers over the non-descript top of the toy. 

Yuuri almost chokes on air. He coughs twice. He’s very aware, actually. He’d seen it when he bought the fleshlight Victor’s holding right now. It had been out of stock, which is the only reason Victor isn’t holding it right now. “Uh, really?” Yuuri asks weakly.

“Yeah,” Victor says, smiling a bit. “That was years ago, back when everyone thought I was an Omega. Just because I had long hair and played to my feminine side doesn’t immediately make me one gender or another. I’m not, though. An Omega.” 

Yuuri already knew that. “Well, obviously.”

Victor leans into him. “I would have never expected you to be an Omega.” He admits. 

“Why? What did you think I was?”

“Hmmm,” Victor presses a finger to his lips. “Well, I guess I was relying a bit on stereotypes, but you’re very strong and you have a pretty muscular body. And when I saw you perform my program I thought, what balls you had. I just assumed you were an Alpha.”

“Really?” Yuuri asks incredulously. He’s never thought of himself as having Alpha traits. 

“Mmn!” Victor nods vigorously. “You really surprised me when you said your heat was coming up.”

“Ah, well…” Yuuri bites his lip. 

He’s about to ask whether Victor’s an Alpha or Beta, but Victor picks up the three vibrators and the nipple clamps that are the last objects left on the bed. “Why so many?” He asks, giving Yuuri one of the larger vibrators and the nipple clamps. 

“Well, that one-” he points with the vibrator in his hand towards one of the ones Victor’s holding, “-was useless, so I bought this one. Kept it just in case, though.”

“Alright,” Victor says, putting the vibrator in the box. “But these two?” He asks about the remaining ones. 

“Well,” Yuuri says, trying not to get too embarrassed. “One is for me, obviously.”

Victor raises his eyebrow as if to ask Yuuri explain a little better. 

“In me.” Yuuri huffs. “And this one,” he holds up the small one, “is for these,” he holds up the nipple clamps.

“You use those regularly?” Victor asks. 

“No. It’s been years,” Yuuri admits. Back when he still lived here in Hasetsu and spent his heats alone, he used them pretty often. His nipples are actually pretty sensitive and although they can be arousing, sometimes they get oversensitive. “The vibrator…” he shrugs and watches as Victor stares down at the vibrator in his hands. 

Without warning, Victor clicks the button and it hums to life. 

“Victor!” He dives for the toy, only for Victor to pull it out of reach. “Viiiiictor,” he whines, leaning across Victor’s body to try and reach Victor’s outstretched hand and the vibrator that’s still buzzing. 

“Now, now, Yuuri. I just want to see what kind of power it has,” Victor taunts. 

“Victooooor,” Yuuri moans again, embarrassed flush creeping up his cheeks. He promised himself he wouldn’t do this, get flustered like this, but his coach, his idol, is holding his humming vibrator. 

He shuffles under the covers, trying to get closer to Victor’s outstretched hand, but he’s just not tall enough to reach further than the other man. 

Without thinking, he straddles him, finally reaching up to grab his toy out of Victor’s hand. “Ah!” he says as he finally gets a hold of it. He fumbles to turn it off; cycling through the different power modes it has before it quiets. As soon as he’s accomplished that, he notices where he is - firmly planted in Victor’s lap. 

“Yuuri,” Victor says softly, staring up at him. The light from his bedside lamp is shimmering in his blue eyes. Both of Victor’s hands come to rest on Yuuri’s hips making Yuuri’s breath stutter. 

“Victor,” he says, clutching the vibrator to his chest. He doesn’t know where the other one and the clamps went in the struggle, but he doesn’t care. Not when he’s so close to the man under him. He can feel Victor’s hipbones against the inside of his thighs. The long line of Victor’s chest is lying bare before him, his dusty pink nipples peaked. He wants to lean down and take them between his teeth. He wants to strip off his shirt and press their naked chests together. He wants to grind his hips down against Victor’s. He can feel his dick beginning to swell - he’s been holding back for most of the night, which is impressive because they’ve been talking about sex for a half hour now. But it’s the closeness that’s making Yuuri’s resolve crumble. 

“You just have to ask,” Victor says quietly, fingers clenching at the skin between his shirt and pajama pants. 

Yuuri startles. Of course. Of course he’d just have to ask Victor to give him the vibrator back instead of mauling him. Here he is, getting close, showing affection, and Victor is reminding him that instead of pressing himself against the man, instead of showing how desperate he is, instead of climbing into his lap, he can just ask Victor to return the vibrator. 

He curls in on himself a little and flomps to the side, off Victor’s body. He squirms a little, his toy box shifting on the duvet, so he can disentangle his legs from across Victor’s thighs and return to the spot he was on the bed before with about a foot more distance between them. “Sorry,” he mutters pulling the sheets up over as much of his lower body as he can. He doesn’t want Victor to even glimpse anything close to the half-erection he’s sporting. 

Victor runs a hand through his hair, breathing out through his nose. “Yuuri, that’s not what-” he pauses, glancing at Yuuri who’s sure his face is cherry-red. “Fuck,” he mutters, then puts on a light smile and reaches for Yuuri. “Hey, you were doing so great. Sorry I teased you.” He pouts a little, giving Yuuri a sad face that he knows is his weakness. 

“Ah, it’s okay,” Yuuri mutters, adjusting his glasses on his nose from where the squirming has knocked them askew. “It was my fault,” he dumps the offending vibrator into his box and gathers up the other one and the clamps from the bedspread by Victor and shoves them in as well. 

Victor waits until Yuuri’s packed away his toys and has put the box on the floor before he opens his arms and asks, “come here?”

Yuuri sighs, but is happy to curl up into Victor. He leans back against Victor’s chest and lets the man curl his arms around Yuuri. He presses his nose into Yuuri’s hair and breathes deeply. 

Yuuri finds that even though he’s nervous about being near Victor, being embraced like this only calms him down. It’s like the embrace Victor would give him before a competition; strong and comforting. He melts into Victor’s arms. They spend five minutes just sitting together like that, Yuuri feeling all of his nervousness dissipate. Victor’s breathing is heavy and even against the back of his neck. 

After a while Victor pulls away slightly and says quietly into Yuuri’s ear, “ _Zvezda_ _moya_ , grab your laptop, lets take a look at that website before we fall asleep.”

Yuuri begrudgingly extricates himself Victor’s hold and shuffles a bit to reach his laptop. He immediately returns to Victor’s side, letting the Russian man wrap him in his arms again. It’s a little uncomfortable because Victor’s leg is in the way, but he’ll take what he can get. He opens up the laptop and leans back to rest his head on Victor’s shoulder. 

“So, starting again,” Victor says with a lilting voice, “what kind of toys are you looking for?”

“Well, before I forget,” Yuuri says, pushing his glasses up his nose, “I need to get lube.”

“Lube?” Victor questions from behind him. “Don’t Omegas produce natural lubrication during their heat?”

Yuuri smiles at the tone in Victor’s voice. “Yeah. We do.” It’s something everyone should have learned in a general health class in school. “But,” and this is where Yuuri hesitates a little, “if I get too dehydrated, then I don’t produce as much. Which means I need something so I don’t get hurt.”

“Well, if you make sure to drink enough water, why would you need lube? All the Omega partners I’ve been with haven’t needed it during their heat.” Victor says as Yuuri pulls up the page for lube on the website. 

“Well,” he says, trying to not get flustered again, “I’m kind of insatiable? So my body sometimes can’t keep up. It’s not like I’m some kind of magical lube factory.”

Victor snorts in laughter at that. “Of course,” he giggles, “I expect nothing less of my demanding skater.”

Yuuri adds a large bottle of silicone-based lube and a smaller bottle of water-based lube to his cart. It’s better to be prepared than sorry. He then navigates to the pages for knotting dildos. 

“Oooo,” Victor says, pointing at one. “What about that one? It looks about the right size.”

Yuuri squints at the screen. It’s a lot larger than the one he has now, and it’s only slightly larger than one he had in Detroit. It’s probably more what he’s looking for, but then he notices the one displayed to the right. He clicks on it immediately. 

It’s about the same size than the one Victor suggested, but instead it boasts an inflatable knot. It’s appealing because, as of right now, he’s leaning towards choosing Shoji as a heat-mate, and if he’s a Beta, Yuuri will need something to imitate an Alpha knot to help him through the rougher parts of his heat. Inflatable is a little closer to the real thing. 

“Inflatable? I didn’t know they made those,” Victor says as one hand tightens its grip around Yuuri’s waist. 

“Apparently they’re pretty good,” Yuuri says, looking through the reviews, which all look fantastic. He puts it in his cart to buy. This was the other thing he wanted to buy other than lube, so he doesn’t feel bad spending the money on it. If it helps him through his heat, he’s happy. 

“Was there anything else?” Victor asks. “You were talking about restraints.”

Yuuri does want to try something a little sturdier  and a little more comfortable than silk or the metal handcuffs he has. But, if he’s spending his heat alone, then there’s no point in them. But he remembers what Victor had said at the beginning, that he should be buying what he wants without hesitation. “Yeah. I’m thinking leather?” He says as he finds the proper drop down menu. 

There are a lot of options for restraints - some much more involved than Yuuri would ever like to get. But there are also some more modest options as well. There end up being three different leather options to choose from. One looks like something out of a trashy harlequin romance with loops and chains in unnecessary places. Of the two options left, one is just a simple leather strap with an ‘o’ ring attached to it. The other has the same configuration, but the strap is a little wider and is padded with felt. 

“It depends on how long you want to be restrained for,” Victor says leaning back completely against his headboard, making sure he can see over Yuuri’s shoulder. Yuuri’s leaning completely against half of Victor, and Victor’s one hand that’s around his waist is playing with the bottom hem of his tshirt, fingers brushing past his abdomen every now and again. 

“I don’t know how long.” Yuuri says, clicking between the options. 

“Just choose the padded one. It’s the better option, and if you decide to let your partner tie you up for half the day, you’ll be fine.” Victor says against the shell of Yuuri’s ear. 

Yuuri chooses the nicer one. 

“Have you ever used anal beads?” Victor asks.

“No. Why?” Yuuri says, typing it into the search anyway.

“You should get them. If you like knots, then I’m sure you’ll like anal beads. It’s the same kind of feeling, I think.” The explanation is good enough for Yuuri that he’s happy to buy one. 

“This one,” Victor says, pointing to one of the options shown on the screen. “I’ve tried it - it’s good.”

Yuuri adds it without hesitation. If Victor says it’s good enough, he’ll believe him. He has more experience with them anyway. Even though he hasn’t really thought about anal beads before, he’s excited to use them now. “Have you used plugs?” he asks because that is something he’s thought of buying before.

“Hmmm,” Victor hums. Because Yuuri is leaning against Victor he can feel the rumble from Victor across his whole chest. “No. Not personally, but I’ve used them with a few of my partners, so I know how to use them. Were you thinking about a set?”

“Dunno,” Yuuri says, looking for them. “A lot of Omegas use them during their heat. I think it’s sometimes a pregnancy thing, which, obviously, I’m not looking for. But something about it feels like a knot, apparently.”

“Well, it would keep the cum inside,” Victor says casually. “But you’d have to start small, of course, and for shorter periods of time.”

“With how many heat rounds I go though in a day, I doubt I’d be keeping it in for long,” Yuuri says, scrolling through the options. There’s a ‘beginners’ set that catches his eye. It has four varying sizes of plugs. The smallest looks no bigger than the knot on the dildo in his box right now. He could probably accommodate that no problem. 

“From what you’ve said so far, it seems like you’re a pretty exceptional Omega,” Victor says, nuzzling behind Yuuri’s ear. 

“I dunno if I’d say that,” Yuuri says, squirming a little. “I’m just a little much to handle, apparently,” he says. All of his heat partners had told him he was too insatiable and his stamina was more than they could deal with regularly. “All of my partners have been great, but I’ve always needed toys in addition to their help.”

“I feel like I’ve been missing out on all the fun by never using toys with an Omega,” Victor’s hand runs up along Yuuri’s chest under his shirt and brushes past one of his nipples. 

Yuuri lets out a small whimper as the briefest of touches sends sparks straight from his nipple to his groin. He desperately tries to think of other things besides Victor’s hand on him. He stares at Maccachin who’s curled up on the couch across the room, sleeping.

“Have you thought about a glass dildo?” Victor asks as his hand sweeps back down again. 

“Glass?” Yuuri manages to get out without it sounding pathetic. 

“Here, let me,” Victor says, leaning forward so he can reach Yuuri’s laptop. He does a quick search and comes up with a pretty long list. There are some attractive looking glass dildos. 

“They look nice, but why?” Yuuri asks. 

“Well, just from a practical standpoint, they’re really safe - antibacterial. But, if you want to try a bit of temperature play or something, they’re easy to heat or cool.”

“Oh.” Yuuri says, thinking about the options involved with both hot and cold. 

“This one,” Victor says, clicking on one that has a lovely blue swirls up the shaft. 

Yuuri immediately adds it to his cart. This is it; this is the dildo that Victor has chosen for him. When he uses it, he’ll be thinking of Victor. It’s one of the selfish reasons he allowed himself to look at toys with Victor. “It looks nice,” Yuuri tries to deflect when Victor hums in happiness behind him. 

“I’m sure you’ll love it,” he says and his lips brush the back of Yuuri’s neck, so close to his scent gland. 

“Cockrings?” Yuuri asks, breathless. It’s the only other thing he’s thought about getting, and it seems fitting to ask right now because he can feel the blood beginning to rush to his dick. 

“Oh.” Victor says, pulling away. 

Yuuri turns around to look at him, worried he’s said something wrong, but Victor’s only leaning over to reach the box on his bedside table. He opens it and rummages for a moment before withdrawing a couple items. 

“They’re great,” Victor says and lays out two cock rings on his duvet-covered leg beside Yuuri’s laptop. “There’s a bunch of different kinds. I just have a stretchy silicone one and a easily unlockable metal one.” He points at them. “You can get fabric ones with snaps, or even ones with vibrators attached.”

Yuuri hesitates, but picks up the silicone one. It has a bit of stretch to it, but it’s decently firm. A warmth blooms across his groin as he thinks about how this ring has been around Victor’s dick before. It’s part of his personal collection. 

“But I don’t know why you’d need one,” Victor says slowly. “The point of your heat is to have as many orgasms as possible. I don’t see how denying them with a cockring is going to help you. You’ll just end up stuck in a heat haze.”

Yuuri puts down the cockring gently next to its partner. Victor has a point. He probably won’t be able to use them for his heat, although he’d maybe like one to experiment with outside of his heat. “I guess,” he says. He won’t get them now because for all Victor knows he’s just ordering things for his heat and nothing else. 

“I’m pretty sure you’ll qualify for their promotional deal,” Victor reminds Yuuri. There’s a little ad at the top of the page boasting that if you spend over $150 they’ll add in a remote-controlled vibrator. Although Yuuri already has three vibrators he won’t pass up a free one. 

And if it’s remote-controlled, then he can give the remote to whomever he wants. Even Victor. 

As Yuuri is checking over his order he wonders what he and Victor are supposed to do now that he’s finished shopping. They’re close to being naked in bed together, Yuuri’s decently aroused, Victor can’t seem to stop touching him, and there’s a box of what’s probably Victor’s toys sitting beside the bed that they haven't looked through. The night is full of endless possibilities. 

Yuuri’s about to suggest to Victor one of many options they have when his laptop ‘dings’ with a message. His phone, which he left in his room specifically because he didn’t want to be interrupted, is still on and sending messages to his laptop like it’s supposed to. 

It’s a text from Shoji. 

_ Hey Yuuri. I can’t stop thinking about you since our meeting. Have you decided on a heat-partner? If you want to talk or meet up again, give me a call. XX _

It wouldn’t be a problem since it’s written in Japanese and Victor can't read it that well, but following right after message is a text picture of Shoji’s naked body, dick hard and on full display. 

Yuuri tries to close the message, blushing furiously, but it’s pretty obvious that Victor’s seen it. 

Victor removes his hand from around Yuuri’s waist, covering it up by picking up the cockrings and leaning back over to replace them in the box. “It’s getting late,” Victor says while he’s turned away from Yuuri. 

“Ah, Victor,” Yuuri tries to clarify even though he knows he doesn’t owe an explanation, “Shoji is just-”

“It’s fine,” Victor cuts him off. “You still haven’t chosen a heat partner. He’s a good option.”

“He’s just trying to tempt me into hiring him,” Yuuri tries. 

“He’s very attractive,” Victor says, moving to slide his legs out of bed. He grabs a tshirt that’s been left by the side of the bed. He slips it on almost immediately. It’s turned inside out. And it feels like more than just a physical barrier between the two of them. The atmosphere they’d gained during the evening, and even during the meeting in the afternoon, is completely gone. 

Yuuri swallows hard. He doesn’t know how to fix it because he doesn’t even know what was happening tonight. He wants to tell Victor he’s attractive too, but he doubts that will help anything. 

“You should order those tonight,” Victor suggests, looking over his shoulder at Yuuri. He looks tired. 

Yuuri wants to reach out and touch the dark circles under his eyes if only to make his face brighten just a little. Instead, he just says. “Yeah, I should,” before quickly gathering up his laptop and box of toys. 

“I’m going to read a for a bit,” Victor says, putting on his slippers by the bed. He waits for Yuuri to get his things and walk towards the door before he follows. 

Yuuri stands in the hallway as Victor closes his door behind him and walks towards the dining room, where the only book he can ‘read’ is the dictionary he left there early, with a casual “good night, Yuuri” thrown over his shoulder. 

Yuuri locks his bedroom door behind him, upset with himself for no good reason, and orders everything he and Victor picked out, then texts Shoji back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zvezda moya: my star (My Russian sucks, but I'm positive this is correct)
> 
> I honestly don’t think I’ve written ‘dildo’ so many times in my life. This is the other half that I was supposed to be part of the last chapter, but now that I’ve written it, I’m glad it’s split up into two separate parts because it’s so long. 
> 
> Let me know if I’ve missed a toy that you really think Yuuri should be using. I’m hoping that Yuuri will get to try all of his old and new toys, plus more (Victor still has a whole box they haven’t looked at). Please comment so I know how I’m doing. Reading your comments always makes me want to write faster for you.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really just want to thank EVERYONE for your lovely comments and continued support. It means so much to me. 
> 
> If I’m really good about keeping up with my writing (and I don’t get too distracted) you should get another chapter on New Year’s Eve. I hope it will give you a good start to 2017.

Yuuri wakes up feeling hungover and horny. Last night had been a rollercoaster of emotions and sexual arousal and it’s left him in quite a state. 

He groans as he rolls over in bed, hitting the snooze button on his alarm. He curls up and desperately tries to will away his morning erection. 

After he'd gone to bed last night he'd tried to understand what exactly had transpired, but despite lying awake for an hour afterwards, he still doesn't understand why Victor had closed off to him. 

He tried to rationalize it - he’d seen Shoji’s text message: the raunchy picture. But why Victor would have been upset about that, he’s not sure. Victor had been the one to help him look at heat partners - he’d even seen Shoji’s dick on his profile before, so there’s no reason for him to get upset seeing it again. 

Yuuri squirms in bed, his erection not fading like he’d hoped. If he’d been alone, getting ready for bed when he received Shoji’s picture, he probably would have enjoyed it much more; the angle and lighting had been spectacular. Although he’s not usually one for surprise pictures like that, he understands why Shoji had sent it. 

He should have texted Shoji days ago to either tell him he wasn’t interested or to set up another meeting. He’s been leaning towards the latter. But as it is, something was happening between Victor and him last night, even if it was just a strengthening of their coach-athlete bond, and to have that interrupted made Yuuri a little cranky, so he was probably unnecessarily cruel to Shoji last night.  

As his alarm goes off again and he rolls over and turns it off, ignoring the text messages waiting for him. He slides out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom. He gingerly pulls off his pants, careful of his still-full erection. He throws his tshirt off too and gets into the shower even before the water warms up. 

He knows that he needs to choose a heat partner soon. He has one last Alpha to meet, and then he should make his decision right away. In just three days time he’ll go off his suppressants and he needs to have chosen who he’ll spend his heat with before then. 

The water warms up a bit, but he’s left it on the cold side. The chilly temperature still does nothing to abate his erection, so he takes himself in hand and gives a slow jerk, his foreskin pulling back from the head. The cold water splashes against the sensitive tip and he shivers. 

He leans forward in the small shower, resting his head against the cold tile as he pulls on his dick. The cool shower wall feels refreshing against his hot face. Even the lukewarm water feels cold against his heated skin. He huffs as his hand moves over the head of his dick. It’s a little rough with only water as lubrication. He’s so on edge, though, that he doesn’t bother grabbing soap to help because he won’t last long. 

He jerks himself faster, his other hand clenching uselessly against the tiles. He tries hard to not think of anything in particular, but his mind keeps wavering between the picture Shoji sent last night and the way Victor was holding onto him. Victor’s hot fingers against his abdomen. Shoji’s dick that he just might have all to himself in a week’s time. Victor’s hand brushing past his nipple. 

He takes his hand, fingers cooled from the tile, and touches one of his nipples lightly. The cold of his fingertips on the sensitive nub of his nipple makes his body jerk. He whines as he jerks faster, panting hard against the tiles. He touches his nipple again, letting his body shake as the pleasure travels down his body, pooling hot in his groin. 

He imagines it’s Victor’s fingers touching him, teasing him. He imagines it’s Shoji’s dick, waiting behind him, waiting for him to become loose from an orgasm before he pushes inside. The lines blur and soon he’s not sure who he’s imagining teasing him, bringing him so close to the edge.

One more long stroke of his dick and a touch to his nipple brings him right to the edge. He pauses for a moment, surprised he’s so close so fast. His knees tremble. He could pull himself back from the edge if he wanted, he could draw this out, he could tease himself more, fantasize more, wait until he’s a complete, flushed mess. But he needs to get ready for practice. Victor will be waiting for him. 

He lets himself go. 

He comes hard, letting out a sharp cry as he splatters the tiles with white fluid, legs almost giving out from under him. He gasps in air as once the large portion of the orgasm has passed, his body returning to its usual functions. He has to lean heavily against the shower wall so he doesn’t fall over, his vision swimming with the force of his orgasm.

If his last two orgasms have been that intense and come up on him that quickly, he’s dreading what the first day of his heat will be like. 

He makes sure the tiles are clean, then he washes quickly with just water - he’ll take a better shower after practice - and doesn’t even both drying off before pulling loose clothes on. 

Victor’s waiting at the front door, two protein shakes in his hand and looking just as tired as Yuuri. 

“Morning!” He sings anyway, his cheerful personality shining through. 

“Mmmnn” Yuuri moans in response. He’s feeling drained already and he hasn’t even started his run to the ice rink. 

“Stay up late?” Victor asks, watching as Yuuri bends down to tie up his running shoes. 

“No later than you,” Yuuri says. He heard Victor go back to his room just as he was beginning to fall asleep last night. 

“Did you order anything last night?” Victor asks instead of addressing how late they both went to bed. 

Yuuri nods, finishing off his last shoes, standing and stretching. “Yeah. I ordered all of it.” He admits. 

“Good.” Victor says, watching the way Yuuri’s shirt rides up as he stretches towards the roof. They start their run in silence.

They get halfway across the bridge when Yuuri’s phone rings. He stumbles as it disrupts his running pace. He thinks for a moment that maybe it’s Shoji - he’s been ignoring him since last night. Or maybe it’s him Mom and something’s happened at the onsen, but then he pulls out his phone from his jacket pocket and doesn’t recognize the caller ID. 

Usually he wouldn’t answer, but it’s too early for telemarketers to be phoning, so it must be someone he knows. He slows down, breathing hard, but he answers anyway. 

“Moshi moshi, Yuuri speaking.”

“Ah! Yuuri!” A male voice comes over the phone. “It’s Akio, the Alpha you contacted about sharing your heat.”

“Oh!” Yuuri says, surprised. He’s not supposed to meet with Akio until tomorrow. “Hi,” he says, watching as Victor, who’s pretty far ahead of Yuuri, realises he’s alone and turns around to look for him.

“I’m really sorry to be calling so early, I hope I didn’t wake you up.” The man sounds genuinely sorry. 

“No, no, it’s okay. I’m just out for a run.” Yuuri says, watching as Victor turns his bike around and starts cycling back to Yuuri. 

“Okay. Great. Well, I’m sorry for bothering you anyway,” Akio tells him sincerely. “I know we had plans for tomorrow, but is there any way you’re free tonight? My client for this week called this morning to tell me their heat is starting early. They’re in Hasetsu too, so it’s not out of my way to meet you tonight before I go see them.”

“Oh.” Yuuri says a little surprised. Victor stops in front of him, frowning as he hops off his bike. 

“It works out well, though. It means that, if you choose me, then I’ll have a day of rest between this client and you, so I’ll be in top form.”

“That’s good I guess,” Yuuri says, finding it a little weird talking about how his potential heat mate will be off having sex with someone else for the week before his heat. He knows that’s usually what happens, but it’s still weird to talk about it. 

“I’ll be headed in on the last train, so we’d have to meet pretty late, but I’d still have a few hours to talk with you.” Akio tells him in calm tone. 

“Oh. Um. Yeah, that should be fine.” Yuuri says. He didn’t have any plans for tonight, really. Plus, it ends up being a better timeline. It’ll give him all of tomorrow to think about each potential partner and come to a well-informed decision. 

“Oh great,” Akio breathes, and Yuuri can hear his relief over the phone. 

Victor is waiting patiently, watching Yuuri lean against the railing as he talks. “What time, then?” 

“Well, how about ten thirty? I should be able to make it from the train to that cafe we talked about by then.” 

“Yeah, okay. That’s fine.” Yuuri tells him. He’s sure the cafe they decided on beforehand closes at 11, but if they run out of time they can just go a bit of a walk. 

“I’ll text if I run into any troubles or if I’m early.” Akio says. Yuuri can hear rustling in the background - he’s probably trying to pack before he heads out for today. 

“Sure,” Yuuri confirms.

“I look forward to meeting you, Yuuri,” Akio says in a warm tone. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Yes. I’ll… see you tonight.” Yuuri says because he’s not sure how else to end the conversation. He hangs up and then stares at his phone. 

“Who was that?” Victor asks, holding tight to the handlebars of the bicycle, but standing close to Yuuri and trying to look at his lock screen. 

“Oh, um.” Yuuri hesitates for a brief second. He’s not sure why, but for a moment he almost doesn’t want to tell Victor who phoned, but the thought passes immediately. “It was the last heat partner I’m going to meet. He had to reschedule for tonight instead.”

Victor frowns. “I forgot you still had someone else to meet. I thought you’d decided already.”

“What. No. I haven’t decided.”

Victor looks confused, and he opens his mouth to say something, but seems to think better of it and stays silent. 

“We’re going to meet late tonight. But I’ll make sure to take a nap when we get home so I won’t be tired at practice tomorrow.” Yuuri tells him, pocketing his phone. 

“Okay,” Victor says quietly. Then, noticing Yuuri’s ready to keep running, he swings a leg over the bike, mounts it again, and takes off. 

Victor pedals faster than usual, so Yuuri really has to run to keep up.

* * *

 

Yuuri is exhausted by the end of practice. But it feels good to still be working on his routines. It’s something stable and rewarding amongst everything else that seems to be so unsure in his life right now. 

It also makes it easier to take a nap that afternoon, just like he’d promised Victor. When he wakes up, it’s supper time. 

Victor smiles softly at him when he comes out into the dining room. It looks like Victor spent the past few hours talking with Mari. She looks relaxed, an empty bowl and can of beer beside her on the table. Victor looks like he’s had a couple drinks and supper as well. 

“Hey little bro,” Mari says when he walks in, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “I hear you have another date tonight.”

“Yeah,” he yawns. “His name’s Akio. Another Alpha. I’m meeting him late tonight.” He offers up the information readily because he’s still waking up. He barely catches the look Mari and Victor share. 

“Did you want me to come with you again?” Victor asks. 

“Nah,” Yuuri say, sitting down at the table with them. “We’re meeting late. I don’t want you to stay up with me.”

“Late?” Mari asks, leaning back on one hand to assess him. 

“Yeah,” Yuuri responds, thanking his mother as she bustles in with a bowl of rice and teriyaki chicken for him. “I should be finished at 11 though, because that’s when the cafe closes.”

“Why so late?” Mari asks, looking at over at Victor who’s unusually quiet. 

“He’s coming in on the last train,” Yuuri says around his mouthful of food. “Something came up and it’s the only time he can meet.”

“Have you given any thought to who you might hire?” Mari asks. 

“No.” Yuuri says after he’s swallowed. 

“Why not?” Mari continues to question. 

Yuuri gives her a strange look. It’s not like Mari to intrude on his personal life. Even when she and Minako had helped pay for his first heat partner, Katashi, she’d told him to choose and not tell her anything because she ‘didn’t want to hear about her brother having sex’. 

“I haven’t met everyone yet, have I?” He says slowly. He glances at Victor who’s staring at one of his beer cans. 

“But you don’t have any ideas on who you like better?”

“No,” Yuuri says, putting down his chopsticks. “I don’t think it’s fair to choose before I meet everyone.” Mari shrugs at that. 

“He likes the first one, Shoji,” Victor offers. 

Yuuri looks over to him, staring at Victor for a moment. “Oh, shit,” he says when it suddenly hits him. He fumbles for his phone that’s in his pocket. Shoji texted him last night and although he ignored the messages this morning, he didn’t mean to make him wait the whole day. He brings up the conversation immediately. 

Right under Shoji’s text last night is Yuuri’s response:

_ I know. I don’t appreciate the reminder. If I wanted to meet again I would have texted already.  _

Yuuri cringes a little. He was a bit harsh last night. He shouldn’t have responded in the heat of the moment. Shoji’s text messages after that tell him how unnecessarily direct he was. 

_ I’m sorry _

Then a break before;

_ I’m really sorry Yuuri. I should have waited for you to contact me. Please forgive me.  _

_ I’ve been horribly unprofessional, and for that I’m sorry. Please don’t let these few actions dissuade you from spending your heat with me. I promise to fulfill all of your desires if you choose me.  _

Yuuri sighs, forgetting about supper as well as Mari and Victor as he types out a reply. 

‘ _ I’m sorry _ ’ he starts with, hoping Shoji understands what he’s sorry for.  _ ‘I still haven’t decided on a heat partner. I’ll know by tomorrow and let you know either way. _ ’ He still likes Shoji, and he’s still attracted to him if this morning’s session in the shower is anything to go by. Plus, he’s still the best candidate by far. He’ll definitely have to call Shoji later. 

He gets an almost immediate reply of  _ ‘okay’ _ . 

He breaths, glad that he’s at least responded, even if he hasn’t mended the small relationship he and Shoji had. He looks up to find both Mari and Victor staring at him. 

“You alright, Yu-chan?” Mari asks in Japanese. 

“Fine,” he responds back in their native tongue. “Just stressed because my heat is coming up soon.”

“Don’t stress too much. You know it’s your downfall.” Mari says, then switches back to English, for the sake of Victor who’s looking between the two of them. “Don’t overwork yourself to please others, Yuuri. Just do what YOU need, okay?”

“I will,” Yuuri promises and resumes eating. He knows he needs to stock up on some extra calories before his heat, and he is usually happy to have a larger portion, but tonight his stomach is telling him he’ll only be able to handle a few bites. The sooner he figures out everything for his heat, the sooner he can get on with his life. 

“If you need some extra time off, just tell me. I don’t know what kind of schedule you need before your heat,” Victor tells him. 

“We don’t have the luxury of taking time off,” Yuuri says, pushing his food away. 

Victor doesn’t correct him because they both know it’s true. A week off is going to set them back and if he’s hoping to do well at the Cup of China, Yuuri needs to work every moment he has. 

“I’m going to Minako’s.” Yuuri tells them, standing. 

“Yuuri-” Victor tries to protest, but Yuuri shakes his head. His sister doesn’t stop him because she knows that it’s better he get his stress out through dance or skating than keep it bottled up. Victor doesn’t know him well enough yet to let him go without a fight. 

“Don’t wait up,” Yuuri says quietly before leaving. 

He does go to the ballet studio, just as he said. Minako’s been away for the past two weeks, running a three-week intensive ballet camp all the way up in Osaka. If she’d been around, Yuuri’s sure he would have come to her for advice by now. As it is, he can’t bring himself to call her up and ask what he should do. He’s in his twenties; he should be able to figure it out for himself. 

He dances until his feet hurt and he’s drenched in sweat. He’s feeling less stressed, but he’s still a little on edge. He uses Minako’s shower in her apartment before he heads out to the cafe. 

He’s almost exactly on time, but Akio is already inside, sipping at a coffee. There’s a large duffle by his feet that Yuuri blushes to think what’s inside. If he’s headed off to a heat in the morning, then there probably aren’t many clothes inside. 

He pushes open the cafe door. He glances at the table he, Mark and Victor had sat at only yesterday. It seems like ages ago. 

Akio watches as Yuuri makes his way up to him. “Yuuri?” He asks.

“Yes.” Yuuri says, smiling a little. Akio is handsome enough, and he’s not as old as Toshi so Yuuri already feels more comfortable around him. He looks unassuming, but still has set to his jaw that says he knows what he’s doing. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m glad you were able to accommodate me,” Akio says. “Did you want to grab a coffee?”

“No,” Yuuri says as he pulls out his chair to sit down. “I’ll be up all night if I do.” As soon as he’s seated he’s hit with the smell of Alpha. It’s just as potent as when he scented Toshi back in Fukuoka and he’s sitting several feet away from Akio. “Ahhh…” he mumbles as the heady rush hits him. 

He’s surprised that he’s reacted this strongly to both Toshi and Akio. He’s on suppressants so his sense of smell should be dulled to the point that he can’t smell secondary genders on anyone. But both of their scents have hit him hard. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this affected by scents outside of his heat before. He must be over-due to have his heat if his body isn’t reacting properly to his suppressants. 

“I’m sorry,” Akio says, putting a hand over his neck where his scent gland is when he realises that Yuuri’s affected by his pheromones. “You’re not too close to your heat, are you? Because you know I can’t sign any contracts if you’re less than a week away.” It’s a very important question to ask. Heat contracts aren’t legal if there’s any chance that the Omega is under the influence of their heat. Usually the cap is a week before the start of their heat. 

“No,” Yuuri manages to get out, trying to breathe through his mouth. “I’m not even off my suppressants yet.”

“Okay. That’s good.” Akio relaxes. “Why are you so affected, then?”

“I dunno,” Yuuri blinks, trying to fight the warm haze that’s falling over him. 

“Have you been suppressing for a long time?” Akio asks. 

“Almost two years,” Yuuri tells him.

“Mmnn,” Akio hums. “You’ve been waiting too long. Sometimes if you wait too long like that your body will gain a tolerance to your suppressants. They should still work for a few weeks yet, but I wouldn’t push it too much.” He leans back in his chair a little, but it does very little to lessen the flow of Alpha scent Yuuri’s so enamoured of right now. “If I could give you a suggestion?”

“Hhhmm?” Yuuri murmurs. 

“I’ve been dealing with Omegas for many years now, and if you’re reacting this way while you’re still on suppressants, I’d suggest you switch to a new brand after you’re done this heat.” 

That’s actually a pretty good idea. Yuuri’s been on the same brand for six years now. It’s no wonder he’s built up a tolerance. He wonders if his own Omega scent is still being properly suppressed. “Thanks,” he says slowly. 

Akio sighs a little, giving Yuuri a soft look. “Wait here just a moment, Yuuri,” he asks of him. 

Yuuri watches at he goes to the barista and waits until she passes him a small cup of water. He gives it to Yuuri as soon as he sits back down. Yuuri takes a drink, and it washes away some of the musk that seems to be hanging around in his mouth. It makes his head clearer too. 

“It’s partly my fault too,” Akio admits. “I took an Alpha booster on the way over to get ready for my client’s heat.”

Yuuri’s heard of Alpha boosters before. They’re essentially like viagra, but more in-tune with an Alpha’s system. Akio doesn’t seem old enough to need something like that. “Really?” He says.

Akio shrugs. “If I’m going to be honest with you, I’m so used to Omega scent now that I don’t necessarily get aroused by the pheromones anymore. I need a little help to keep up with my clients. I hope that’s not a problem.”

“No, it’s not.” Yuuri says, taking another sip of water, feeling more like himself. 

“And, well, I’m an Alpha that prefers Alphas, really.” Akio says frankly, sipping at his own drink. 

That makes Yuuri pause. It’s not like it’s unheard of, but it’s definitely unusual. Just like Omegas rarely take other Omegas as partners, Alphas usually don’t pursue other Alphas. There’s just something about the compatibility of pheromones that makes it difficult to have sex with similar secondary genders. Yuuri wants to ask why he’s in this line of work - helping Omegas with their heats - if he isn’t attracted to them, but he figures that’s a little rude.

“You’re adorable, though,” Akio tells him, smiling across the table at Yuuri. “I’m usually not so lucky to get young Omegas. They usually all have unattached friends that will help them their heats.”

Yuuri’s about to feel ashamed because he doesn't really have that option, but Akio covers one of Yuuri’s hands with his own. 

“But it’s fine. I have a sister like you that would rather spend her heats with people she isn’t attached to. She says it makes the after-heat easier.”

Yuuri nods at that, glad that Akio isn’t judging him for asking for help with his heat. 

“Look, Yuuri,” Akio says slowly and Yuuri knows already that he won’t end the sentence with anything good. “You have a couple options here.”

“Okay,” Yuuri says, taking a large mouthful of water.

“We can sit here and talk about your heat. We can pretend this is going to work. I can even show you some of the toys I’ve brought with me,” he gestures to the bag at his feet, “and you can go home and choose someone else. Or,” Akio pauses to make sure Yuuri’s still following what he’s saying, “we can talk about this person you’re hung up on and go out and have a good time together to help you forget for a while.”

“What?” Yuuri asks. He’s not sure what Akio’s getting at.

“Yuuri,” he says softly, squeezing his hand gently. “My senses are turned up to 100 right now. I can smell the hesitation on you. I can’t share your heat if you’re going to be worried about another person the whole time. I just can’t get aroused, can’t do my job, in that kind of situation. It’s only going to end up being disappointing for both of us.”

“Oh. I didn’t know,” Yuuri says, swallowing. 

“Really?” Akio says, arching an eyebrow in disbelief. “Your scent, even though it’s suppressed, is screaming stress. I’ve lived with unsuppressed Omegas long enough, been intimate with them enough, to understand the subtleties of scent. And trust me, although I couldn’t tell you what the scent is exactly, I know for a fact that you’re interested in someone else.”

Yuuri stops to think. He first thinks of Shoji, the only other heat partner he’s really considering, but although he’s been worried about talking to Shoji again after their text conversation, he doesn’t think his feelings are enough to come through in his scent. 

His mind then goes to Victor. He’s been attracted to Victor for so long and after all this time spent planning his heat with him, he’s become attached. And in a way, he’s almost been expecting Victor to be there with him, using the toys they looked at together on Yuuri. 

“There it is,” Akio says, sniffing the air. “Whoever you’re thinking of right now, that’s the one that’s making your scent sour.”

“Fuck.” Yuuri says. He didn’t need this tonight. He didn’t need to know that his body has already decided who he wants for his heat. He doesn’t want to want Victor. He already knows his feelings are one-sided. He blames it on Shoji - after he realised that maybe Victor shouldn’t stay the idol that Yuuri’s always thought of him as, he’d let his guard down. And now,  _ now, _ his admiration of the man has turned into lust. 

“Sorry,” Akio says, smiling sadly at him. “I really would have enjoyed spending your heat with you. I’m a fantastic lover, and I’m sure you would have loved what I could do for you, but it just doesn't feel right.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Yuuri says, but he’s not sincere. He wishes Akio wouldn’t have noticed it. He wishes he didn’t have feelings for Victor strong enough that someone else could see them. He wishes he could have just chosen Akio, had his fun, and forgotten all about Victor helping to plan his heat. 

“Hey,” Akio says softly, looking over to where the baristas are cleaning up for the night. “We have to leave soon anyway and there’s no way I’m letting you go home like this. You’re obviously upset, and I’m sorry I did that.”

“It’s okay,” Yuuri says and means it this time. He doesn’t blame Akio for this. He blames himself. 

“I was going to go to the club tonight to wait out the call I’ll inevitably get soon. Did you want to come with me?”

Yuuri almost never goes to clubs. He gets rowdy when he gets drunk and clubs just exacerbate the problem for him. But having a couple drinks and having his thoughts drowned out by loud music sound like a good option right now. “Yeah.” Yuuri finds himself agreeing.

* * *

 

Akio takes them to a club in the center of Hasetsu that Yuuri didn’t even know existed. He seems to know the bouncer, even though he doesn't live here, and gets them in without a cover charge. The coat-check girl even takes his duffle bag and jacket without question. 

The club is on the second floor of the building and it’s hot and loud. Akio presses up against him as he leads Yuuri over to the bar and buys him a drink. Even though he and Akio are about the same height, there’s something nice about having an Alpha stand at your back, taking care of you. 

He gives himself a mental limit of two drinks, just to make sure he doesn't get out of hand. Akio doesn’t pressure him into more than two highballs, just stays by his side. The two of them stand to the side for the first bit while they drink. Akio whispering in his ear some of the things he can smell on people - mostly arousal. Yuuri is grateful that he’s not mentioning the arousal Yuuri’s feeling for him right now. 

At eleven forty, Yuuri gets a phonecall. It’s Victor. He disentangles from the casual arm Akio has around his waist. He can’t answer here in the club because it’s so loud he can barely hear Akio when he’s talking into his ear. He yells at Akio that he’ll be right back, then weaves his way through the dance floor to head out the smoking entrance. He finds an unoccupied spot on the balcony away from the smokers that are outside with him. 

When the door closes it cuts off a lot of the sound from inside, just the dull thump of bass still prominent. His ears feel like they have fuzz in them, and he’s still a little hazy because of the drinks and being so inundated with Akio’s Alpha scent. 

It takes him long enough to get outside that Victor’s call has ended. He calls him back right away. 

“Yuuri?!” Victor answers on the first ring. 

“Yeah,” he yells, feeling like he’s being too loud, but he can’t judge his volume because his hearing is a little distorted from being in the club. 

“Where are you?” Victor asks, yelling back a little.

Yuuri has to think for a moment. His head is fuzzy and he’s not processing words well. “At a club,” he finally says. 

“I can hear, that, yes.” Victor says, a little exasperated. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Great. Akio brought me here. He’s fantastic.” Yuuri stops himself from saying anything more because the next thing out of his mouth is sure to be something he can’t take back. He doesn’t want Victor to hear him besotted over an Alpha. And he certainly doesn’t want to let slip why the Alpha he’s lusting after won’t take him. 

“You’re… alright.” Victor says, sounding relieved.

“Yeah. Wait. It’s late. You should be sleeping,” Yuuri says, pulling his phone away from his face to check the time. He accidentally smacks the arm of the guy next to him. 

“I thought you’d be home earlier. I just wanted to make sure everything went alright.”

Akio takes that moment to appear at the door, the sounds of the club blasting into the cool night air before being cut off again when the door closes. “Better than alright,” Yuuri says, staring at Akio. “Dunno when I’ll be done.”

“Yuuri, you still have practice tomorrow,” Victor says in a strict voice, but it falls on deaf ears as Akio approaches Yuuri again and he’s lost in the scent of Alpha again. 

“Okay, okay,” he says into the phone, distracted. “I’ll come home soon.” He then hangs up, ignoring Victor who’s trying to say something, reaching out to grab Akio’s hand, shuffling to the side and knocking against the guy next to him again. 

“You about done yelling at your boyfriend?” The guy next to him snarls. He elbows Yuuri back. 

“Sorry,” Yuuri mutters. 

“Damn right you’re sorry,” the guy yells at him. 

Akio steps in quickly between them. “Excuse me? Is there a problem?”

The man, who’s probably a Beta, can obviously still smell the obvious Alpha scent on Akio. “Nah, man, sorry,” he mutters, turning away after giving Yuuri a glare. 

“I can take care of myself,” Yuuri protests, but still draws Akio in towards him. 

“I’m sure you can, but let me do it anyway. I’m your escort tonight,” Akio says. Yuuri can see the guy beside them roll his eyes. 

“Escort me to the dance floor, then,” Yuuri asks, giggling. 

Akio doesn’t waste time bringing him back inside and leading him by the hand out into the writhing bodies. Yuuri feels warm and heavy. The scent of Akio in front of him fills his nose and mouth, drowning out the other heavy scents in the room. He can feel his dick fill with arousal as Akio sways in time with the music. 

Yuuri lets himself go, moving in time with the music as well. He shamelessly presses up against the Alpha, uncaring if Akio feels his erection. Akio, for all he’s worth, presses back against Yuuri, letting him grind against his leg. 

Yuuri throws his arms around Akio’s shoulders, nudging his hips against those in front of him until hands come down to rest on his hips and help guide him to rub against Akio’s answering erection. 

He pants out hot against Akio’s collarbone and then drags him into a kiss. It’s hot and wet, and Akio responds hungrily. They kiss there on the dance floor for what seems like hours. Akio even begins to rub his face against Yuuri’s neck, trying to leave his scent on his skin. 

Yuuri’s so close to just asking Akio to be his heat partner, damn Victor, when Akio’s phone rings. He pulls away from Yuuri quickly, looking at the screen. His face is illuminated in blue light in the dark of the club and Yuuri can see immediately that something’s changed. 

“I need to go,” Akio says. “I’m getting called in.”

Yuuri’s stomach drops. Of course. He has another Omega he has to go see tonight. Akio pulls at his hand and he blindly follows. He waits as Akio gets both their coats and his bag, and then also lets Akio pull him down and out of the club. It’s quiet between the two of them and outside as Akio helps Yuuri into his jacket. The cold air feels even colder against his skin where he and Akio have been touching. 

“Fuck, I’m going to need somewhere to shower before I head over,” Yuuri hears Akio mutter. “I’ve got your scent all over me. I can’t show up to a heat like this.”

“Please-” Yuuri starts. 

“Yuuri,” Akio says, drawing Yuuri’s attention in and stopping him from saying something ridiculous, “I’m sorry we went so far tonight. I shouldn’t have done that, knowing you were looking for someone to transfer your feelings too. I’m just extra horny because of that tablet I took.”

Yuuri wants to protest, but he knows better. It’s just his luck. He finds someone he might want to spend his heat with - someone that fits all of his criteria - but they don’t want to spend it with him. Of course the attraction Akio felt towards him was just a product of a synthetic hormone. 

“Don’t feel down on yourself,” Akio tries to cheer him up. “If you figure things out and need a partner next time you have a heat, call me. I’d be more than happy to help you out then. But I sincerely hope you don’t have to.”

Yuuri swallows hard, refusing to respond to that. He doesn’t need someone for his next heat. He needs someone next week. He can’t spend his heat with Akio, and he can’t spend it with Victor. There must be something about him that he’s choosing the people that are unavailable. 

“Will you be okay to get home, or should I wait for a cab with you?” Akio asks, slinging his duffle over his shoulder. 

“No. I’m fine.” Yuuri manages. “You should get going.”

“If you’re sure,” Akio says, but he looks anxious to leave to find somewhere to shower. 

“Go,” Yuuri says. 

“Okay,” he gets in response. 

He lets Akio lean over and kiss him on the cheek, then watches him walk away, the cold settling into his bones.

He stands outside the club, dangerously close to tears and he doesn’t even know why. Before he can talk himself out of it, he makes the call he was hoping he didn’t have to make.

“Hey, Phichit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooo boy, this was a little darker than I wanted. I promise this is as difficult as it will get. I think it’s just because we’re so close to THE moment we’re all waiting for. Everything’s coming to a head. Stick with it and you’ll be rewarded soon!
> 
> I would 100% write some of Yuuri’s conversation in Japanese if I could, since I’m (conversationally) fluent, but I feel like that’s not helpful to you guys at all. 
> 
> As always, if you have any kinks that have come up while reading this that you want to make sure I add in, let me know. If you keep commenting, I’ll keep replying and writing new chapters for you. So much love. <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been BLESSED. Blessed with the most wonderful readers (I cherish each and every one of your comments). I received something yesterday that I never expected to be surprised with. [Beautiful fanart.](http://zipra.tumblr.com/post/155138973460/fanart-for-the-most-infuriating-slow-burn-in-the) It’s Yuuri and his favourite dildo from chapter 8. Please take a look at it and the artist's other gorgeous work. 
> 
> You guys provide me with crazy amounts of motivation so I got this chapter finished early for you. <3 It also means that (depending on how drunk I get for New Years) I should have the next chapter out on New Year's day.

Although it’s late for Phichit in Bangkok, he still answers Yuuri’s facetime call. “Yuuri?” He asks, switching on a light. The screen flares for a second, then settles on a picture of Phichit in bed, squinting at his phone screen. 

“Phichit,” Yuuri says relieved. 

“What are you doing up?” Phichit asks as he yawns, blinking away sleep. “It must be past one in the morning.”

“Yeah,” Yuuri says, glad to at least see a familiar face. 

“Is everything okay-” Phichit begins to ask, but then he focuses on Yuuri’s face. “Yuuri?”

“Phichit-” Yuuri starts, feeling the heaviness in this throat that means he’s so close to crying. “I-” he croaks out. 

“Yuuri, what’s wrong?” Phichit says, sitting up in bed, face clearly showing worry. 

He can feel the tears well up in his eyes. “I just- it’s so difficult.”

“Where are you, Yuuri.” Phichit asks, ignoring what Yuuri’s just said because it obviously doesn’t mean much when he doesn’t understand the context. 

Yuuri draws in a shaky breath, trying hard not to cry. Once he starts, he won’t be able to stop. “In Hasetsu. Outside a club.”

“A club?” Phichit asks, “why?”

“For a heat meeting,” he replies, blinking hard in the hopes that it will help contain his tears. 

“A heat meeting? At a club? What’s going on?” Phichit sees through it right away. 

“I met him,” Yuuri starts, glad he can still talk around the heavy weight in his throat, “and we ended up here.”

Phichit swears in Thai, something Yuuri recognizes. “Did something happen?” He asks in a dark voice.

“No,” Yuuri croaks out. “Nothing happened, and that’s the prob-” he wants to tell Phichit that’s where most of his problems are coming from, that the night had ended poorly, but he can’t force the words out. He just ends up swallowing hard, his bottom lip trembling. 

“Thank fuck,” Phichit says, sounding relieved. Yuuri knows that Phichit has always worried about Yuuri being taken advantage of. He’d probably jumped to some pretty horrible scenarios the moment Yuuri had called crying. “Is your heat meeting guy still there?” Phichit asks, leaning in close to the screen to see if he can distinguish things in the dark background of Yuuri’s picture. 

“No, he left.” Yuuri manages in a soft voice, feeling closer than ever to breaking. 

“He left you alone there?” Phichit asks, bristling. “Is Victor there with you?”

As soon as he hears the name ‘Victor’, one tear escapes. And as soon as the one rolls down his cheek, the other ones can’t be held back. It’s a matter of second before he’s practically bawling on the sidewalk outside the club. “No,” he sobs, “I’m here alone.”

“Yuuri!” Phichit calls out desperately. “Don’t cry. Oh my god. I can’t do anything.”

“Sorry,” Yuuri chokes out, wiping the back of his hand past his eyes to try to stop the tears. It doesn’t work. 

“Don’t be sorry! Something’s obviously wrong. Tell me, please.” Phichit says.

“Hey buddy,” the bouncer says, noticing that Yuuri’s loitering outside the doors. The lineup to get in is gone, which Yuuri is thankful for because he doesn’t need anyone else besides Phichit seeing him cry. “You gotta keep moving.”

“What?” Yuuri says, looking up at him with tear filled eyes. 

“Fuck, bro, you can’t cry outside a club. Go to a park or something.” The bouncer says, frowning. “You’re ruining the atmosphere.”

“FUCK YOU!” Phichit yells through the phone, startling Yuuri. “I’ll ruin your-” Yuuri mutes the call for a moment. 

“Sorry,” he says, bowing to the bouncer before hustling off in the direction he knows there’s a park bench. The distraction has at least helped him to stop crying, and he wipes his face clean as he walks. He unmutes Phichit when he’s a block away. 

“Yuuri, just tell me what’s going on,” Phichit says as soon as he realises Yuuri can hear him again. “Why are you calling me instead of going home? Or calling your sister?”

“You said to call if I needed anything.” Yuuri starts.

“Of course. Anything for my best friend.”

“Can you spend my heat with me?” Yuuri cuts to the chase. 

Phichit’s quiet, staring at Yuuri through the phone. “Yuuri-” he says in a soft tone.

“Ah, no, no, it’s fine.” Yuuri starts to backtrack. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“YUURI.” Phichit says in a more forceful tone. Yuuri quiets and lets him talk. “I’m just surprised is all. I never expected you to ask.”

“Well…”

“You’ve always wanted someone else to make that first move. And, honestly, I never thought you’d ask me.”

“Well, I am.” Yuuri pouts. 

“I’m just confused as to  _ why _ ,” Phichit says, relaxing back into his bed. “From the conversations we’ve had the past week I thought you were doing okay with finding heat partners.”

“No one wants me.” Yuuri tells him, embarrassed that he has to tell his best friend how unattractive he is.

Phichit snorts. “That’s ridiculous. Where are you getting that from?”

“It’s true,” Yuuri says, clenching his teeth. Phichit has always tried to explain to Yuuri that he’s attractive - but he’s his best friend, so of course he’d say that. It doesn’t help him now. 

“It’s not,” Phichit says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Tell me what happened that made you think that.”

This is a common conversation between them. Yuuri will mention something self-deprecating and Phichit will spend the next hour talking to him about it and pointing out the flaws in his logic. He’s not sure if they have time for that now because it’s so late and he really should head home, but usually it ends up making him feel better, and now that he’s less affected by Akio’s pheromones he realises he probably does need to explain everything to someone. Even if it only helps to convince Phichit to fly out to help him next week. 

He finds the bench that he was thinking of, tucked away in the corner of a tiny green space amongst the houses. It overlooks a small playpark that’s completely deserted at this hour. He sits down, pulling his coat tightly around him. “It’s- it’s this guy. Akio,” he starts. “He was perfect; Alpha, handsome, great stats…”

“Yeah, you sent me his profile, I remember,” Phichit says, nodding. 

“He… he said he didn’t want to share my heat.”

Phichit frowns. “Okay. Well, I mean, he’s just one guy, right? Maybe he just couldn’t fit you in his schedule.”

“He said that he wouldn’t because I was too hung up on someone else,” Yuuri admits. 

It doesn’t take Phichit more than five seconds before he says, “Victor.”

“Yeah.” Yuuri sighs. “He said he could smell it on me.”

“Impressive.”

“So he said he wouldn’t share my heat.” Yuuri says, clenching his teeth so he doesn’t start crying again. 

“Okay, well, that’s fine. I get it. He’s a professional. He’s worried about his ratings if you do a heat with him, thinking he’s just not as good as someone else.” Phichit says, waving one hand as if to dismiss the Alpha. 

Yuuri pauses. He hadn’t thought of it that way. Akio had said that he found Yuuri attractive and he’d been receptive in the club. Maybe he was just worried about his reputation instead of just purely disliking Yuuri. “Maybe,” he says slowly. 

“I'm sure that's what it was,” Phichit nods firmly. He has so much faith in Yuuri it's scary sometimes. 

“We did end up kind of grinding on the dance floor after he said no…” Yuuri says, thinking back to that lovely moment where his lust was reciprocated. That’s all he wants, honestly. 

“You WHAT?” Phichit screams. Yuuri turns down the volume on his phone. “Boy! I’ve been telling you for ages that you’re a hot piece. I saw his damn profile and you’re complaining about grinding up on someone as hot as that?”

Yuuri blushes, making a face at Phichit. “It’s not like that-” he tries to protest. 

Phichit sighs as he calms down a little, “look, Yuuri, just because one guy isn’t willing to have sex with you because of goddamn work reasons, it doesn’t mean everyone else is as stupid.”

“It’s not just him, though.” Yuuri says. He thinks of Mark for a moment, who was so much more enamoured of Victor than him. It’s no wonder, though - Victor is much more a catch than he is. 

“Who else, then?” Phichit asks, scratching the corner of his eye. 

“Victor,” Yuuri says instead of ‘Mark’. 

Phichit doesn’t even miss a beat. “Are you sure?”

“What do you mean?” Yuuri asks, scrubbing a hand over his eyes, smudging his glasses in the process. “Of course I’m sure. He’s just my coach. He doesn’t- he wouldn’t want me.”

Phichit sighs. “Why don’t you just ask him?”

“No!” Yuuri all but yells. “No way I could do that.”

“Why not? He dropped his career to come out and coach you. You’re going to tell me there isn’t a  _ slight _ possibility that he’s attracted to you?” Phichit yawns, stretching a little. His hair is still sleep-mussed on one side. Yuuri feels a surge of affection for his friend.

Yuuri pauses because he’s thought the same thing quite a few times already. “But how would I know?” He asks instead of denying it, which he feels like is a big step for him. 

“You just asked me to share your heat. Ask him the same thing.” Phichit suggests. 

Yuuri’s eyes go wide. “No way. There’s no way I could do that. What if he agrees because he’s my coach and he thinks it’s just part of his job? What if he feels obligated to do it? No way.”

“Okay, okay,” Phichit says, furrowing his eyebrows in to what Yuuri knows as his ‘thinking’ face. 

“Can’t you just help me with my heat? Just like last time.” Yuuri pleads. They were good together last time. 

Phichit smiles softly at him. “Yuuri, I’d love to, but it’s not really practical for either of us.” 

Yuuri knows it’s true, but he still can’t help but hope that Phichit will change his mind. “I really liked sharing it with you,” he tries.

“Yeah, it was awesome.” Phichit smiles a bit more. “Look, how about this. I want you to do two things for me before I agree to come out for your heat.”

“Two things,” Yuuri repeats, nodding. 

“First, I want you to actually consider what Victor might feel.”

“But-”

“No,” Phichit interrupts him. “Just… observe. Ask. Whatever you need. Figure out if he might be interested.”

“Fine,” Yuuri says, zipping his jacket up far enough it covers the bottom of his chin. 

“Second, I want you to actually sit down and consider all your options. All the professionals you’ve met, plus me and Victor. If you’re still sure I’m the best option after that, then okay, I’ll book some flights.”

“Okay,” Yuuri agrees. Phichit’s right - he should probably sit down and think about all the options rationally.

“Alright,” Phichit says, yawning again. “Are you good? Crisis passed? Because I need to sleep. Ciao Ciao’s been making me work on my jumps and it’s exhausting.”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Yuuri says and he feels like he means it. He has a goal to work towards now and the cool night air and Phichit have calmed him down. “I can’t wait to see your jumps in competition,” he adds sincerely. 

“Yeah. Me too. Night, Yuuri.” Phichit says before blowing him a kiss and ending the call. 

Yuuri takes a deep breath and shoves his phone into his pocket. He breathes on his hand to warm it up a little, then stands and starts walking back to home. It’s a twenty minute walk from where he is, and although the night air is cold, it helps to clear his mind. By the time he walks in the front door, he has a plan for tomorrow. 

Yu-topia is dark and quiet, so he takes his shoes and coat off as quietly as possible before silently making his way towards his room. But there, in the dining room, is a figure slouched over a table, head pillowed in their arms, sleeping in the soft light of the muted television. Victor.

The television light flashes colours across his sleeping face, accenting both his beauty and the tired lines under his eyes. He looks stunning even in the harsh glow. There’s no question in Yuuri’s mind that he wants Victor. Not just for his heat either, but for afterwards as well. For all the heats after this one. 

He can’t leave the man here like this - he’ll complain about his back hurting tomorrow if he does. Yuuri kneels by him, wondering for a second why Victor is asleep out here instead of in his bedroom before he gently touches his shoulder. “Victor,” he says softly. “Victor, come on, you should go sleep in your own bed.”

“Mnnn?” Victor makes a soft noise and turns his head into his arm a little. 

“Victor,” Yuuri prods again, lightly touching the back of his neck where it’s exposed. 

Victor’s eyes open slowly, glowing electric blue in the white light. “Yuuri?” He slurs. 

“Yeah, it’s me. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“You’re home,” Victor murmurs, not moving really moving. 

“Yeah, and you’re sleeping at a table,” Yuuri says, pointing out the obvious just as Victor has. He touches Victor’s neck again in an effort to rouse him further, but it just makes Victor’s eyes flutter shut. 

“How was your date?” Victor says slowly, eyes closed. 

Yuuri huffs because now isn’t really the time to be discussing it. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he says, which makes Victor look up at him. 

“That bad?” He asks, eyes roaming over Yuuri’s face. 

“Let’s just say that after these three I don’t think I’ll be looking for an Alpha ever again.” And it’s true - Yuuri’s had his share of Alphas for now. Their scents had been fantastic, and although he’s sure that most Alphas aren’t assholes, he’s pretty sure that the professionals that people hire do play into the traditional roles a little too much. 

Victor gives a small smile and moves so he can hug Yuuri. “I’m glad you came back alright,” Victor mumbles into Yuuri’s chest where he’s tucked his head in. 

Yuuri tentatively wraps his arms around him and hugs him back. It’s awkward because Yuuri’s on his knees and Victor’s still half supported by the table so their bodies don’t really align, but it’s still nice. Any lingering anxiety Yuuri had from tonight disappears in the warm huff of air against his stomach from Victor’s contented sigh. 

After indulging the body contact for a moment, Yuuri finally says, “okay, bed now for both of us,”

“Together?” Victor asks, looking up at him with shining eyes. 

Yuuri gives a small laugh because of course Victor’s trying the same thing he did that first night and many nights after. “No,” he insisted, yet again. 

Victor pouts, but lets Yuuri pull him to his feet anyway. He wraps one arm around Yuuri’s shoulder, listing to the side and making Yuuri support part of his weight. Yuuri bends a little, snatching the remote off the table and turning off the tv finally. They’re plunged into darkness and Yuuri stumbles as he tries to navigate them to their part of the house. 

“Yuuri,” Victor says, head flopped on Yuuri’s shoulder, nose against the neck, “you need a shower.” 

Yuuri startles a little because he’s forgotten about Akio rubbing his scent against his neck, but then he wonders if that’s what Victor’s smelling, or if it’s just the sweat and smell of the club on Yuuri’s skin. He doesn’t press the issue, just makes sure they don’t trip down the hallway. 

He forgets about it too, because after he’s made sure the half-asleep Victor is safe in his room, he pretty much crashes into his own bed.

* * *

 

Victor leaves for the rink before Yuuri is awake. Yuuri has to hurry, but he’s still there on time for their usual morning skate time. 

Yuuri remembers Phichit’s stipulations from last night the moment he walks into the rink. Victor’s just finishing up some skating drills of his own as Yuuri laces up. He doesn’t really know how to assess if Victor might possibly be attracted to him because he’s spent so many years ignoring other people’s attraction to himself. 

The only thing he can think of doing is broaching the subject of his heat again. “Morning Victor. How did you sleep?” Yuuri asks as his coach stops in front of the boards. 

Victor frowns. “Very little,” he says. 

Yuuri’s taken aback. Usually, even if Victor has had a rough sleep, he’s still chipper. That doesn’t seem the case this morning. 

“What did you end up doing last night?” Victor asks, hands on his hips, turned away from Yuuri and staring out at the ice. 

“Oh. Um-” Here’s Yuuri’s chance to bring it up. “I ended up talking to Phichit, actually.”

“Phichit?” Victor does look over at him for that. A bit of relief passes over his face. 

“Yeah,” Yuuri says, emboldened. He finishes off with his skates and steps out onto the ice. “He and I talked about my heat. He said I needed to think about all my options.”

“Your options,” Victor repeats, pulling on his bottom lip with his front teeth. 

“All of my options. Yes. What do you think?” Yuuri asks as he pushes off and stretches, getting the feel of the ice back into his feet. 

“What do I think?” Victor asks, watching Yuuri carefully. “Think about what - the guys you’ve met with?”

“Yes,” Yuuri says, making a quick turn, eyes down on his feet instead of Victor. “And other options.” He hopes he’s being clear enough. He’s giving Victor the opening he needs if he wants to ask Yuuri to spend his heat. He’s one of his ‘other options’. “Like Phichit,” he says, hoping to give an example that Victor can relate to. 

“Phichit,” Victor repeats.

Yuuri looks up, but Victor’s face is completely blank. “Any suggestions?” Yuuri prompts, trying hard to not hold his breath. 

“I think you got on well with all of them,” Victor says.

That’s surprising because Yuuri didn’t think he expressed much interest in anyone besides Shoji and Akio. Mark had barely talked to him. “I only need to choose one person,” Yuuri tries again. 

“Decide later, then,” Victor says a little harshly, “you’re here with me now, so let’s practice. I want you to show me your Eros routine. Today we’ll pick it apart and work on the small details.”

Yuuri is a little stunned at the complete dismissal, but he takes his place on the ice to run through his routine. And pick it apart they do. Victor spends hours getting Yuuri to practice the same moves over and over, shouting ‘again’ every time he finds a small detail he doesn’t like. By the end of practice Yuuri is completely worn out. He unlaces in the changing rooms with shaking fingers as Victor packs things into his duffle bag beside him quietly. 

He sits there for a moment, letting his feet breathe, trying to wiggle his toes as they throb with pain. It’s no different from how they usually feel after a long practice, but somehow it’s made worse by the less-boisterous attitude Victor has today. 

He leans back and takes a moment to check his phone before he has to put his feet back into shoes. There’s one text message waiting for him. From Shoji. 

_ Yuuri. I hate to bother you but I’ve got an offer from another client for the same week as your heat. I want to give you first dibs because you met with me first, but I do need to know by tomorrow.  _

Yuuri sighs. He’s been putting this off - the actual decision part. Tomorrow will be his last day on suppressants, so it’s the last day he can sign a contract. He’ll need to respond to Shoji today no matter what. He types back a reply of ‘ _ Give me three hours’ _ . 

He exits out of the message screen and he’s about to put his phone away when he notices a little notification. He has a voicemail message. Confused because he doesn’t remember missing any calls, he presses play, puts his phone on speaker, and drops in on the bench so he can put his shoes on. 

“ _ Yuuri _ ?” Victor’s voice comes out of the speakers. Yuuri turns towards his coach immediately. “ _ Yuuri? _ ” The voice repeats, sounding more worried. “ _ Fuck. Call me, Yuuri. Where are you? _ ”

Yuuri stares at Victor who has tensed up completely. 

“ _ You said you’d be done at eleven. It’s almost midnight. I’m so worried. _ ”

Yuuri glances between his phone and Victor again. It’s a message from last night. When Victor had been trying to phone him while he was in the club. 

“ _ If you don’t call in ten minutes, I’m going to go look for you. I don’t care if I’m intruding on a heat meeting. I don't know what I'd do if you-. Fuck, Yuuri don’t- _ ”

There’s a pause in the recording, then, “ _ Wait. You’re calling me. Oh, thank-” _ The message ends. 

It’s silent for a moment until his phone prompts him to either save or delete the message. He ignores it, staring at Victor. “You were worried about me.”

“Of course,” Victor says immediately. His voice and body language are tense. 

His phone prompts him again to either save or delete the message. Yuuri grabs it, hits the button for ‘save’, and then shoves it in his pocket immediately. “Why?” He asks.

“Why?” Victor turns to look at him. Half of his face is covered by his bangs. “I’m your coach, Yuuri. I care about you. I want-”

“My coach,” he interrupts. Of course that’s what it is. He hates himself for getting hopeful that there might be another reason. Everything Victor does for him is always followed by that - ‘because I’m your coach’. It’s time Yuuri started understanding that’s the only reason Victor has done anything. He shoves his feet into his shoes, not bothering to tie them up, and stands. “I need a few hours this afternoon for personal reasons,” he says. Because if that’s how Victor wants to play it - professional - then he’ll play along. “If you would like me to train some more today, I will afterwards.” 

He grabs his things and storms out before Victor can say anything else. He doesn’t get far because Yuko stops him on the way out. 

“Yuuri? Are you okay?” She asks, leaning over the counter. 

He deflates almost immediately. Yuko doesn’t know what’s going on, and he certainly isn’t going to tell her about his heat, but she’s his friend and it wouldn’t do to be angry with her. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he says, walking over to her. 

She takes a step back when he gets close and he has to think for a moment about whether he’s still scowling, but he’s not. 

“You, ah, Yuuri, you smell like Alpha.” Yuko says. “Like… Alpha and sex.” 

Yuuri blushes up to his ears. He remembers suddenly that he forgot to shower last night after coming home from the club with Akio. A Beta’s sense of smell for Alpha and Omega pheromones is almost non-existent compared to the other two secondary genders, but they can still detect it if it’s potent or they’re trying very hard. So for Yuko, who is a Beta, to smell it, it must be potent. 

He apologises quickly and dashes back to the change rooms so he can take a shower. Thankfully, Victor isn’t there (probably left out the backdoor) and he’s left to shower in shame by himself. 

Victor  _ is _ in the onsen by the time Yuuri gets back home. He doesn’t bother to check - just takes Mari’s word for it. “Can I just… have an hour to myself?” He asks her, and although she gives him a weird look, she agrees. 

He locks his bedroom door behind him and goes straight to his desk. He pushes aside the extra chair that Victor had left there the day they first looked at potential heat mates and pulls a piece of paper out of a notebook that’s sitting to the side. 

He scribbles a list on it for a moment, then sits back and stares at the paper. 

Shoji : Minoru : Toshi : Mark : Akio : Phichit : Victor

Those are all of his options. Just seven. 

He promptly crosses out Minoru and Mark. He barely spoke to either of them and they didn’t seem too interested in him either. 

He runs through the list. 

Shoji. Yuuri’s attracted to him, that’s for sure. He also has fantastic stats. He would eager to please Yuuri, which is a bonus, but he’s not an Alpha. At this point, though, Yuuri’s not sure if that’s a bad thing. Besides, Shoji probably knows how to work around any issues like that. Yuuri even has a new knotting dildo on its way that they could use. 

Toshi. Yuuri has mixed feelings about him. Although his scent had been fantastic - enough to get himself off to - and he’d been a textbook version of an ‘Alpha’. Yuuri can’t help but feel apprehensive around him. It’s not something he can quantify, but it’s not something he wants to be feeling during his heat. 

Akio. While he would probably have been Yuuri’s first choice, great stats, good personality, more of a kinder Alpha, he also rejected Yuuri. He hesitates to cross him off his list because after last night, Yuuri’s sure that if he begged a little, Akio might relent. But he won’t get the chance to do that because Akio’s in the midst of someone else’s heat right now and Yuuri needs him to sign a contract by tomorrow. He haltingly crosses him off the list. 

Phichit. His friend is a fantastic option. They shared his last heat and it had been good, and Phichit had even offered himself. They work well together, they enjoy each other’s company, they could catch up between rounds, and Phichit even knows about some of his deeper, more sexual desires. He wouldn’t have to worry about expressing them to someone new. However, he knows his friend is also training for the Cup of Chia just as he is, and it’s not fair to drag him away from his training, his career, just because Yuuri can’t plan his heat properly. 

Victor. Is Victor even an option? Phichit had wanted Yuuri to assess Victor today, and he had. From today alone, Yuuri would say that there’s no way that Victor would share his heat. But he’d been unusually cranky; the reasons for which are still unclear. Yet, if he thinks about how Victor has acted overall, all the planning meetings together, curled up and looking at sex toys together, Yuuri sees a different picture. The only thing Yuuri is sure of is if Victor were to agree to share his heat, he’d only be doing it out of obligation. And although Yuuri would enjoy the week, he couldn’t live with the pain of it afterwards. 

He looks over his list again, reading the points he’s jotted out. He crosses Toshi off because he doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable at all with his partner during his heat. That’s an easy decision. 

He reads through again, and then slowly crosses out Victor as well. There might be the a possibility that Victor would be willing to share his heat, but Yuuri won’t let his emotions or his mental well-being be compromised for one week of passion. 

That leaves him with just Phichit and Shoji. Both Betas, and both good choices for partners in their own right. He stares at the names. Slowly, he reaches out and crosses of Phichit’s name. He loves his friend, and he just can’t bring himself to ask so much of him. Just knowing he was willing to do it is enough for Yuuri. 

Now he’s left with Shoji. That’s it, then. He’s made his decision. Shoji it is. He’ll spend his heat with Shoji. 

He stares at the paper, almost surprised at the outcome. But just looking at the name makes his chest feels tight and his vision begins to swim. This isn’t supposed to be how he feels; he’s made his choice, so he should be feeling relief, not panic. He takes in one stuttering gasp of air and he knows he can’t do it. 

Without hesitation he crosses of Shoji’s name too. He can’t do it. Akio was right - he can’t spend his heat with anyone besides Victor. He’s too hung up on him. He’s too attached to him that, right now, he wouldn’t be able to comfortably or safely share his heat with someone else. 

He’s spent the past two weeks planning his heat with Victor - looking at toys, buying supplies, talking about the details - that there’s no way that his body is going to accept anyone else. It’s a painful realisation to come to, but a very necessary one. 

It’s not that he’s  _ in love _ with Victor, there’s just a lot of history there, all the way from his years of idolization to the close relationship they share now. 

He stares at this list again, all his options exhausted, and wonders what he’s supposed to do. Then it comes to him. 

He’ll just do his heat solo. 

He can do that. He’s done it before. It’s a very viable option and he’s not sure why he hasn’t considered it since the beginning. It’s the perfect option, in fact. He doesn’t have to worry about spending his heat with someone else and he doesn’t have to worry about asking Victor either. 

Once his heat has passed, he’ll be able to deal with any lingering feelings he might have. He can even dream that maybe once he gets the heat out of his system, his feelings for Victor might dissipate too. 

Just by himself. It’s perfect. With the decision made he senses his stress melt away and it feels like he can breathe properly for the first time since the notification to plan for his heat had popped up on his computer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the last you’re going to be hearing about the professionals, so I want to say thank you and goodbye to them. When I wrote them I was worried they’d be too much, even though I wanted very different heat-mates for Yuuri to choose from. I think each one (and the reasons he doesn't like them) are what show him why Victor is the best choice. Thank you for your sacrifice. :P
> 
> Please let me know if you liked the chapter. At least there was a little bit of resolution? Your comments really are such a big motivation for me to write. I love you. <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again, I’m amazed at all the lovely people are reading. I’m so grateful for the support, I really am. <3 This chapter is a New Year’s gift to start the year off right. 
> 
> The next chapter won’t be out for a few days. Just because I’m going to need some extra time to fangirl over new Sherlock episodes, but I will try to get it out as soon as possible.

Yuuri breathes, leaning back in his chair. The sudden and complete relaxation from his decision has made him lightheaded. It’s almost as if he’s floating on air. Even when he pulls out his phone it feels like his muscles are moving as smooth as water. 

He does his due diligence and types out messages to both Phichit and Shoji, letting them know that he’s made a decision and neither of them are needed. 

Just as he gets an immediate reply of ‘ _ okay, good luck with your heat _ ’ from Shoji, Phichit calls him. 

“TELL ME.” Phichit demands as soon as Yuuri answers the call. From what Yuuri can see in the background of the video call, Phichit is still at the rink. “Did you ask Victor?”

“Shhhh,” Yuuri says, glancing towards his door. Victor’s supposed to be in the onsen, so he doubts he’d be around to hear, but he doesn’t want to take chances. “No,” he tells Phichit. 

“No?” Phichit scrunches up his nose in unhappiness. “Why not? I thought if you didn’t choose him you’d be asking me. WAIT. Did you choose one of professionals? Which one?”

“No,” Yuuri answers again, sighing because sometimes he forgets it’s hard to get a word in edgewise with Phichit when he’s excited about something. 

“No?” Phichit just looks confused now. 

“No,” Yuuri repeats. I’m doing it solo.”

Phichit blinks at the camera. “By yourself?” He asks slowly. 

“Yeah,” Yuuri nods. 

“That’s stupid.” Phichit say, frowning. “You had so many good options.”

“I know, I know,” Yuuri says, pouting a little. “But none of them were very good options.”

“So Victor didn’t… you don’t think he…?” 

“I don’t think so,” Yuuri says, understanding that Phichit’s talking about one of the things he’d asked Yuuri to do last night. “I tried today, I really did,” he say truthfully, “but today he was… cranky? I don’t know. If I have to sign a contract tomorrow, it’s not enough time to find out if he might be attracted to me or not.”

“He IS,” Phichit sighs. 

“You’ve never met him,” Yuuri gives Phichit a look through his phone. Just because Phichit has a ‘feeling’ about it doesn’t mean it’s true. He’s never seen them interact - just heard Yuuri talk about him. 

“Well…” Phichit runs a gloved hand through his short hair making it stick up in weird places, “are you okay with doing it alone?”

“Yeah. I… I think I’m actually happy about it.” Yuuri admits. 

“Oh. In that case, it’s fine. If you’re happy, I’m happy.” Phichit nods. 

“Thanks,” Yuuri says, smiling, still feeling relieved at his choice, especially if Phichit also thinks it’s an okay idea. 

“But, if you’re feeling lonely and want to facetime during your heat…” Phichit wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. 

Yuuri laughs. 

“Crap,” Phichit says as Celestino comes into the background behind him. “Eerrrr, Yuuri, I gotta go. Call me later.”

“Will do,” Yuuri says, grinning.

Phichit ends the call just as Celestino’s looking over his shoulder. 

Now that he’s finally made a decision, he feels like he can focus on making the final arrangements for his heat. Even without looking at his checklist he knows there’s still a lot to do. Thankfully he has his doctor’s appointment tomorrow before he goes off his suppressants and she’ll be able to go over his plan with him. 

But before he gets stressed out over more planning, he just wants to spend a few hours basking in the calm his decision has made. He’s been thankful every day since he moved back to Hasetsu that he’s living at an onsen. It’s the perfect way to sooth sore muscles and calm nerves. 

Victor is relaxing in the water, eyes closed and head back against the stones when Yuuri enters. He opens one eye for a moment to watch as Yuuri slips into the hot water.

They sit across from each other in silence. There’s no one else in the outdoor pool at this time in the early afternoon. The steam curls in hazy loops between them.

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri says finally. 

Victor blinks and looks over at Yuuri. “For what?” He asks, a small frown creasing between his eyebrows. 

“This morning. I shouldn’t… there was no reason for me to get that angry. I’m grateful you’re my coach, I really am, and I was rude this morning.”

“No, Yuuri,” Victor say, sitting up to face him properly. “You were just expressing yourself. And I should be happy that you’ll push back when I’m making you uncomfortable.” 

“Okay.” Yuuri says, nodding. “I am sorry I didn’t take a shower, though. Yuko told me as I was leaving that I smelled of…” Yuuri blushes, and skips over it because they don’t really need to discuss why he smelled the way he did, “... anyway, I’m sorry. It wasn’t professional.”

Victor takes a moment to study him, then shrugs. “I just assumed you’d found the heat partner you wanted.”

“I did decide,” Yuuri says. 

Victor wipes the back of his hand across his forehead, pushing his hair out of his face. “Yeah? I’m glad you finally made a decision.”

They’re both silent again for a minute or two, just staring at each other across the steaming water. 

“Which one?” Victor finally asks, like he can’t help himself. “Shoji? Or the one you met last night.”

Yuuri smiles a little because Victor obviously doesn’t remember the conversation last night when he’d come home. “Neither,” he says with only a slight hesitation. 

“Neither?” Victor says slowly. “Then who?” He’s obviously trying to think of the other options. He’d met Mark, and he’d heard about the two Alphas in Fukuoka. “The Alpha?” He asks, probably thinking of Toshi.

“No,” Yuuri says and decides to put him out of his misery, “I decided to not have a heat partner this time.”

“Alone? Why?” Victor asks, leaning forward a little. 

Yuuri sighs and slips down into the water a little. He doesn’t want to get into the details of it, mostly because they revolve around his unrequited feelings for Victor. “None of them were what I wanted,” and it’s so close to the truth it’s almost terrifying to say it out loud to Victor. 

“But it’s okay if you’re alone?” Victor asks. 

“Yeah, it’s not like I haven’t done it that way before. I’ll be fine.”

“I guess it’s good you ordered all those toys,” Victor says with a slight smile. 

Yuuri chuckles. “Yeah. Good thing. The ones I have probably wouldn’t have been enough.”

“Do you still have more planning to do, or do you just need to wait now?”

Yuuri presses his lips together; figuring that after all Victor has done to help him plan there’s no point in withholding information now. “I still have things to get ready. I’ll need to clean my room soon before I start any pre-heat nesting, and I’ll need to stock up on supplies like water and snacks. Plus, I have my doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”

“Did you want help with any of that?” Victor asks, cheeks pink from the heat of the water. 

Yuuri thinks for a second. “Maybe,” he says slowly, “even just a little help cleaning will probably go a long way.” The whole reason for cleaning to make sure his room is free from any distracting scents. Victor’s scent, though, should be the opposite of a distraction. 

He’s already worried about how obvious his nesting habits will make his preference for Victor known. He’s never really been in control of them and if his body is making the decisions, Victor’s things are bound to end up being hoarded. He’ll just have to be extra careful next week. 

“What about your appointment tomorrow, do you want me to go with you?” Victor asks after agreeing to help clean. 

Yuuri swallows because that’s a little bit of a different situation. There might be some examinations and explanations that he doesn’t want Victor to see. “Ah, no. It’s fine. It’s the same doctor I went to as a teenager, so I’m comfortable enough with her.”

Victor is unusually quiet, slipping down far enough in the water that it comes up to the bottom of his ears. Yuuri relaxes slowly into both the heat of the water and the silence, happy to just sit near Victor as their relationship repairs itself just through proximity. 

“Alone?” Victor asks again, just as Yuuri’s about to fall asleep, lulled into a calm state by the warm water. 

He blinks, staring over at Victor. There’s a strange look on the man’s face, but with the steam in between them and without his glasses, he just can’t decipher what it might mean. “Alone,” he repeats. Victor makes a contented noise in the back of his throat.

* * *

 

Mari ends up going with Yuuri to the doctor’s the next morning. She needs a prescription refill, so it’s simple for them to go together. 

“So. Alone,” he says as they walk up to the clinic’s doors. 

“Hmmm?” Yuuri pulls open the front doors.

“Victor said you’d decided to do your heat solo,” she clarifies. “I’m surprised. The last time you did you ended up crying for a whole day afterwards. You said it was too tough. That’s when you demanded the stronger suppressants so you could wait two years between them.”

Yuuri thinks back to that moment. He’d probably been seventeen at the time. He barely remembers that heat. He’d been in a heat-haze almost the whole time and had come out of it severely dehydrated to the point he thought he might have needed an IV drip. He'd been so malnourished and exhausted he’d slept for three days. It was the reason Minako and Mari had helped him to find someone to spend his next heat with. 

“I’m not seventeen now, though,” he says slowly as Mari signs them in and finds a seat with him near a window. 

“No. Which is why it’s even more worrying,” she says. “You’re older now, your body won’t bounce back the same way.”

“My hormones won’t be fluctuating as much either,” Yuuri reminds her. He knows how his body works better now too, knows how to bring pleasure to himself better than he did back then. Plus, he’ll be staying at home instead of a hotel, so all things considered, he should find this heat easier, partner or not. Heats are only supposed to get less intense as you get older until they taper off around age 50 anyway. 

Mari shrugs, fiddling with a button on her coat - a nervous habit that shows up when she can’t smoke. “Just as long as you’re safe, bro.”

The nurse at the front desk calls Yuuri up, saving him from talking anymore about his heat with his sister. He’s lead into the back of the clinic to a small, but very sterile room where he’s left to wait for ten minutes. 

He’s used to doctor’s appointments for his heats now, but back when he was younger they were nothing short of embarrassing. Having to talk to someone about his bodily functions, talking about the best way to stave off heat-haze (prostate stimulation), and the changes his body goes through to prepare for heat was torture for an anxiety-ridden teen. Fortunately, after having met with Dr. Ito for years, Yuuri’s learned to be comfortable around her. She’s an Omega too, so it had been easy to explain his concerns after he’d gotten over his embarrassment. 

He hasn’t met with her for almost six years now, though. But when Dr. Ito steps into the room, Yuuri finds that although there are a few more wrinkles around the corner of her eyes and she looks just as tired as she always has, she has no less of a kind smile for him. “Yuuri Katsuki,” she drawls, smiling at him, “it’s been a long time. It’s good to see you.”

“Hello again, Dr. Ito,” he says, bowing a little in respect. 

“You’ve been doing well for yourself,” she says, taking a seat in the chair across from the examination bed he’s sitting on. “I’ve seen you on tv a few times in the past few years.”

Yuuri doesn’t want to think about how she’s probably seen all the posters up around town as well. “Yes, well, I’m back training here,” he says. 

“And you’re here because you’re heat’s supposed to start next week?” She asks, checking the chart in her hands. “It doesn’t look like I have any records since… seven? years ago.”

“That’s about right,” Yuuri says, eyes downcast, examining his fingernails. “I was living in America, so I had my last heats there. I’ve been suppressing for two years at a time, though.”

Dr. Ito just nods and scratches down a few notes in the file.  “Alright,” she says, placing the file on the mat beside him and pulling the stethoscope from around her neck. “Let’s just do a general checkup to make sure you’re well enough to go into heat, and then we can go from there.”

He lets himself be examined - heartbeat checked, blood pressure taken, throat and ears checked, and prostate examined. 

“You seem in very good health, Yuuri,” Dr. Ito says, pulling off her gloves and making notes in the file again while Yuuri buttons his pants back up. “You should be fine to have a regular heat.”

Yuuri sighs in relief. Starting in peak health is always a bonus for heats. Anything that you might have, even if it’s a simple as a cough or cold, can only get worse during a heat. And it’s not like it’s easy to go into the doctor’s during a heat if something isn’t feeling right. There  _ are _ hotlines to call to deal with issues like that, of course, but Yuuri’s glad he’s never had need of them. He did have beginnings of strep throat one heat and he’d ended up needing a full-course of antibiotics afterwards. It’s nowhere close to the stories he’s heard about limbs being broken during heat and having to be rebroken and set afterwards. 

“If I could just get a bit of history of your previous heats, that should help me,” she says. 

“Uh,” he hesitates. The heats that aren’t on file are all the ones he’s spent with other people. However, it doesn’t help him to omit things or lie to his doctor, so he summons up a little courage and says, “Well, I’ve only had three heats since I was last here.”

“Three, okay,” she says, fixing her small ponytail. 

“When I was eighteen, my sister helped me find someone to spend my heat with,” he thinks back to that first time when he’d been so nervous. 

“Your first shared heat?” Dr. Ito asks.

He nods. 

“How was it?” She asks. It’s not a strange question - she’s asked how his other heats have gone when he was still living in Hasetsu and going solo. 

“Good. Fine. Better than being alone.”

“It always is,” she agrees. “I’m glad you were able to have that experience then. Your other heats, though?”

“The two after that I also had partners,” Yuuri tells her. “Both while I was in Detroit.”

“And they were both normal heats?” 

“Yeah. They were both… good. Healthy.”

She gives him a genuine smile. “I’m very happy for you, Yuuri. It’s so important that young Omegas have heats they enjoy. Heats are supposed to be pleasurable experiences, and it’s nice that you’ve been able to see that.”

Yuuri blushes, ducking his head down. They had been pleasurable. Fun, even.

“Let’s go over your heat preparations, then,” she says, looking down again her file again and then glancing up at Yuuri over her glasses. “When are you planning on stopping your suppressants?”

“Today is my last day,” he says, biting his bottom lip. After tomorrow, when he doesn’t take his suppressant in the morning, there’ll be no turning back. 

“And you have a place ready to stay?

“Yes, I’ll be staying at home.”

Dr. Ito hums in affirmation. “And you’ll make sure you have access to water and food during you heat, right?”

“Yes, and a shower.”

“Even better,” she nods. “And you’ve signed a contract with your partner?”

Yuuri freezes. He doesn’t have a partner to sign a contract with. Even if he did, today would be the last day. He doesn’t know what to say. 

Dr. Ito notices his silence right away. “Yuuri?” She prods. 

“I, ah, no. I’m going to be doing it alone this time.” He says tentatively. 

She immediately frowns. “Solo? Yuuri-” she stares at him and he begins to feel nervous. “Have you thought this through?”

“Yes. I had meetings with some potential partners, but nothing seemed to work.” He thinks about how Victor and him have done everything a mated pair would do to plan for Yuuri’s heat, so to share it with anyone else would be wrong.

She clears her throat and puts her notes aside to fix Yuuri with a stare. “And you’re aware that going alone this time will be hard for you?”

Yuuri blanches. “What? No. I, uh, what?” He hadn’t heard of anything like that before. 

“Yuuri,” she says softly. “I don’t want to scare you, but since you’ve spent the past three heats with someone,  _ six years,  _ with a partner, trying to get yourself through it alone will be difficult, painful even.”

Yuuri swallows hard. He’s reminded of stories he’s heard about how painful a heat can be after divorces or being widowed. He didn’t think it would apply to him - it’s only been three heats. “They’ve all been different partners,” he says, hoping that it makes a difference. Maybe painful heats are only due to the lack of a familiar partner. Maybe she thought that Yuuri has been in a relationship with the same person since that first heat when he was eighteen. 

She shakes her head a little, “I’m sorry Yuuri, but it doesn’t matter if they’ve been three different people or the same one. Your body is used to being satiated by another person. It’s been years since you’ve tried to get through a heat alone and your body is going to be upset if it has to again.”

Yuuri can feel his heart clench. Does this mean he’ll have to choose someone for this heat? Or does it mean it will be as painful as it was when he was younger? Either option is terrifying. 

“You don’t have anyone you could ask?” She asks quietly, noticing that he’s starting to panic. 

“No really,” he croaks out. 

“Okay, alright,” she says, switching from an open, warm stance to a firm, professional one. “Let’s talk about you going solo, then. If that’s what you want or what you need, we’ll make it possible for you.”

“I can still do it alone?” He asks cautiously. 

“Yes, of course, Yuuri. There are always options. I’m not going to lie to you and say it will be easy, but we can manage any side effects.”

“Alright,” he says meekly, already thinking of other options. He could phone up Shoji - see if he still might be available. But he’s probably already signed a contract with the other client.

“It’s going to be intense,” she says, resting a hand on his knee briefly in a gesture that’s meant to be comforting, but just makes Yuuri feel trapped. “I’ll prescribe you some specialized scent blockers that should diminish the amount of time you spend in a heat-haze, and I’ll make sure you have a new higher-dose prescription for suppressants that you can take to help your heat stop after seven days.”

Yuuri’s vision begins to swim. More than seven days? He can’t take that much time off of practice. He doesn’t want to spend that much time in heat anyway if he’s going to be alone. He already knows he’ll need extra time off afterwards to recover and if his heat goes even longer it only cuts into his practice time before the Cup of China. 

“We’ll also get you some painkillers you can use if things become too intense or you become a little too… fixated.” Dr. Ito says, studying Yuuri intently. 

Yuuri draws in a shaky breath and in a flash Dr. Ito is by his side, hand on his back telling him to breath. He manages to force the next breath out, then forces a breath in when Dr. Ito prompts him. 

“Yuuri, you’re fine, Yuuri. Breathe out, come on.” She directs. 

It only takes a minute of coaching before he’s breathing normally again and his vision has cleared. 

“Goodness,” Dr. Ito says, backing away when she think’s he’s fine. “I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I just wanted you to know what you’ll be getting into. I know it’s a little frightening, but you’ll be perfectly capable of making it through your heat alone.”

Yuuri clenches his hands around the fabric of his pants by his knees. He wonders if he’s made the right decision now. But if Dr. Ito says he’ll be alright, then he can do it. It’s still a better option than spending his heat with someone besides Victor, isn’t it?

“We’ll still get you set up for your birth control, okay? And I still want to run a full bloodwork panel, just in case.”

“Okay,” Yuuri says, not sure how he’s feeling. It’s not the same relaxed feeling as yesterday when he made the decision, but it does almost feel like he’s floating. 

“We’ll need to take the blood sample before the injection, of course,” she says, rummaging around in a draw under the table he’s sitting on. 

“Injection?” He asks, focusing back in on what she’s saying. 

“The birth control,” she says, pulling out several pieces of sterile equipment. 

“For my last heat I just had to take a tablet,” Yuuri says. That time he’d just taken the one necessary pill the day before his heat had started. It doesn’t really matter if it’s injection or tablet, but he’d prefer the less intrusive method. 

“Everyone used to do oral tablets,” Dr. Ito says before she uses the telephone in the room to call to the front desk and asks for them to bring a vial for birth control. She hangs up and turns to Yuuri. “I guess you haven’t had a heat in two years, so you wouldn’t know things have changed. Almost all practitioners have switched to an injection form. Studies found that there was a high incidence of Omegas deciding during their pre-heat they weren’t going to take the tablet. Of course it was only hormones making that decision, so there were a lot of unplanned pregnancies.”

Yuuri knows the feeling. The closer to heat, the more biological urges begin to take over. It almost doesn’t surprise him that there have been issues with taking tablets right before a heat. 

“This way, when we administer the injection, we can do it up to two weeks in advance, and eliminates the possibility of hormones interfering with a rational decision made before an Omega goes off suppressants. But the bonus is there are less side effects, so it’s better all around, right?”

There’s a soft knock on the door by the nurse who’s bringing the vial with the injectable birth control. Dr. Ito accepts it before Yuuri can respond to her. He does suppose that having an injection now will mean one less thing for him to worry about during his pre-heat, so he won’t complain. 

He gets distracted from the problem at hand when he has to have his blood taken for the usual pre-heat panel that includes STD testing, and then the injection, and then another twenty minutes of running through his plans for his heat before Dr. Ito is satisfied that he’ll be safe enough to have his heat. 

Mari’s waiting outside the clinic for him, smoking, when he’s finally allowed to leave. 

“So? You’re all good?” She asks when he approaches. 

“I guess,” he says, holding on to his extra prescriptions tightly. And for a moment, he thinks he is fine. But looking that the papers Dr. Ito has given him, he remembers that this heat might be less enjoyable and more of a chore. 

He ends up silently worrying the entire journey home from the clinic. Mari’s good enough to not bother him until they’re almost home. 

“You’re quiet. Did the doctor say something?” She asks, choosing to look out towards the ocean instead of at him. 

It allows him the bit of privacy he needs to say, “she said doing it solo would be difficult. It’ll probably increase the length of it by a few days, but I don’t want to jeopardize my chances in competition because I can’t find anyone to spend my heat with.” He’s glad it’s his sister, otherwise he doubts he would have been able to voice his insecurities. 

“I see,” Mari says slowly. “You know, Yuuri, you should really talk to Victor about it. I’m sure he’d be willing to help.”

Yuuri agrees. He should probably tell Victor now that the time he needs off will be more than the week they’d planned on. Victor and he can probably figure out a modified schedule to accommodate him. He just hopes that Victor won’t be mad about it.

It seems Victor has the same idea, however, because he’s waiting in inside the entrance, looking nervous, when they return. 

“Yuuri, can we talk?” He asks as soon as Yuuri has his coat off. Mari gives the both of them thumbs up and winks before she disappears in the direction of the kitchens. 

“Okay,” Yuuri says, becoming more nervous. He shoves the prescription papers inside his pants pocket as he follows Victor towards the back of the house. 

By the time Victor ushers Yuuri into his bedroom and away from prying eyes, Yuuri is back to panicking. Maybe Victor has decided that he’s going to go home while Yuuri’s in heat. Maybe Victor’s decided that Yuuri’s too much hassle right now to deal with. Maybe he’s figured out Yuuri’s real motivations and he wants to talk about how he doesn’t feel the same way. Maybe he-

“Yuuri?” Victor asks, putting a hand on his shoulder as he closes the door. 

“I need to take more time off,” Yuuri blurts out. It’s better to rip it off like a bandaid than wait it out. 

“Sorry?” Victor says, obviously confused. 

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” Yuuri says, pacing. “Because I haven't done a heat alone for years, the doctor said that my heat will probably take longer. And since it will be more intense too, I’ll need more time to recover afterwards. It’s going to screw up all our training plans, and I’m  _ sorry _ .” He can’t even bare to look up at Victor. 

“It’s okay,” Victor says after a moment. “If you need an extra day or two for you heat, that’s fine. You can’t train if you’re not in top shape. If you push yourself it’ll only be worse.”

“But it’s my fault,” Yuuri says angrily, “I have to have my heat and it’s ruining-”

“Yuuri, stop.” Victor says in a firm tone. 

Yuuri does look up to him then. He’s moved to stand next to his large bed and he doesn’t look angry like Yuuri expected, but rather quite sad. 

“It’s fine. You can’t help a biological function like that. I will never blame you for that.” He sounds sincere enough Yuuri almost wants to believe him. 

“Even if I was going to share my heat with someone, I’d have to decide today.” Yuuri tells him. If he had a choice to shorten his heat, he would. He wishes it were simpler. “This is the last day I can sign a contract. I’ll go off my suppressants tomorrow and anything I decide after that won’t be legally binding.”

“Were you going to go through the websites again to find someone?” Victor asks slowly. 

“There’s no point.” Yuuri sighs, getting more and more frustrated. “Shoji’s already booked, so I can’t ask him, and anyone else is probably already booked too because it’s so close. It’s hopeless.” 

“If there’s anything I can do to help, Yuuri, I will.” Victor says in a loud enough voice that it draws Yuuri’s attention away from the beginnings of a panic attack.

Yuuri can only breathe, his heart racing as he stares at Victor. 

“Anything,” Victor prompts again, stepping a little closer. 

Yuuri only wants Victor to be happy. He wants to spend more time with him. He wants to be next to him, skating, working together. He doesn’t want to spend extra days cooped up in his room mooning over how his coach isn’t there with him. 

“Yuuri…” Victor draws out his name, reaching out and touching Yuuri’s face gently. Yuuri just doesn't want to disappoint him. 

“Maybe I’ll call up Phichit,” he says, thinking of his last resort. He really doesn’t want to waste Victor’s time. “I spent my last heat with him so…” Maybe it won’t be as bad as he thinks if it’s Phichit. His body knows Phichit already; they’ve already shared a heat. If it’s him, he might be able to make it through. 

“Phichit?” Victor says in a dark voice. His hand drops from Yuuri’s cheek. “Really? Phichit? That’s what you’re going with right now?” He’s suddenly very angry and Yuuri isn’t sure why. 

“Last time we-”

“No.” Victor interrupts. “Yuuri, you can’t call up a rival skater. It’s not fair to you, it’s not fair to him. There’s no reason that you should be cavorting with him so close to a competition, I don’t care if he’s your friend.”

Yuuri’s heart is beating out of his chest because Phichit was really his last resort, but he knows he can't call for more than just the reasons Victor gave. His chest feels tight and he simultaneously wants to curl up into a ball or just run away until he can’t anymore. He blinks hard, willing himself not to cry for what seems like the thousandth time in a few short days. 

“You’re down to your last resort and you still won’t ask?” Victor says, shaking his head a little. The dark tone in his voice is still there. 

“It’s not like I have friends that live here that would do that kind of thing for me,” Yuuri tries to explain. 

“I’ve been here since the beginning.” Victor grinds out. 

“What?” Yuuri says, confused as to what’s happening. 

“Have I ever been an option?” Victor asks. 

Yuuri’s heart stops. Is Victor seriously asking if Yuuri’s ever considered him? He can’t be. “No,” he says quickly. “You’ve never been an option.” And it’s true, as much as Yuuri’s pined over him, Victor has never been obtainable. “You don’t have to offer just because you’re my coach. Our relationship isn’t like that. You’ve already helped me so much with planning that anything more…” Anything more and Yuuri will become desperate. If Victor tries to offer out of a sense of duty, Yuuri thinks his heart will break. 

“I can’t do this,” Victor says. “I can’t.” He stalks to the corner of his room and grabs one of the boxes that’s been left out for months now from when he moved in. A few things roll around in the bottom but Victor doesn’t seem to care. From there he strides over to his bedside table and throws his book inside. Then he opens the drawer and pulls out his pajamas, throwing those inside as well.

“Victor?” Yuuri asks, frozen to the spot. “What are you doing?” He’s dreading the answer. 

“I can’t do this, Yuuri. I can’t stay here.” Victor turns, and throws one of Maccachin’s toys into the box as well. 

Yuuri’s suddenly crying. He clenches at his chest where it feels so tight, hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I can’t stay here,” Victor mutters as he bends down to pick up his slippers and throw them into the box with everything else. “I can’t be in this room, next to yours. I can’t listen to you go through a heat, not with someone, not alone. I can’t.”

He looks up when Yuuri can’t help the sob that escapes.

Victor licks his lips, but he doesn’t look any less determined or any less angry when he sees Yuuri’s tears. “I’m not saying I’m leaving. Just… just. Not this room. I’ll move to Yurio’s old room for the time being,” he tries to explain, but even knowing Victor isn’t leaving  _ him _ , just the situation, doesn’t do anything to stop Yuuri’s tears. It’s the rejection he’s been dreading.

Victor grits his teeth and takes his bathrobe from where it’s hanging near the bed. He tosses it on top of everything else, then picks up the box, ready to leave. 

Yuuri sobs again, mortified he’s doing this in front of Victor, but he can’t even look away from the man.

Victor pauses, staring at Yuuri, box in hand. He visibly swallows, and then something changes. 

He turns and upends the box, dumping everything in it back onto the bed. He drops the box too and it bounces on the mattress. 

“Maybe I haven't been clear enough,” Victor says. 

Yuuri shudders. 

“I want to share your heat,” Victor says forcefully, eyes burning with a fierce passion, “Not because I’m your coach, but because I think you’re beautiful. I’ve been helping you plan your heat because if that’s the closest I can get, it’s enough. I’ve been waiting for you to ask since you first said you were an Omega. But I had it wrong. Maybe I need to be the one to ask.” Victor pauses. 

Yuuri’s tense, waiting. 

“Yuuri. Will you let me share your heat?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. There you have it. THE moment. Or at least the beginning of it. I hope you’re just as excited as I am.  
> Please let me know what you thought of the chapter. My heart has been tight since I started writing the scene, and I hope it gave you even half the feels it gave me. 
> 
> (In the meantime, if you want to chat, or even get minor updates on how quickly I’m writing, you can find me on tumblr [here.](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com))


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reception I got for the last chapter was so much more than I expected, and it made me that much happier. I'm not quite sure how to explain how touched I was. The very least I can do is say thank you! Here’s the conclusion to that conversation. 
> 
> I’d also like to leave another beautiful piece of fanart [here](http://zipra.tumblr.com/post/155276591645/victor-he-says-softly-victor-come-on-you%0A) for you to check out. It’s of the lovely scene in Chapter 10 where Victor stays up late waiting for Yuuri to come home.

Yuuri freezes. He can’t possibly have heard those words out of Victor’s mouth. There’s no way that this gorgeous man in front of him has just admitted to wanting to share Yuuri’s heat. “What?” he says in a small, shaky voice, tears still falling freely.  

Victor looks just as frightened as Yuuri feels. He’s covering it up with anger. “Yuuri,” he whispers. Although he’s said it once, he doesn't’ seem to want to say it again. “Please, just answer.”

“You… you think I’m beautiful?” Yuuri asks instead. 

Victor’s hand spasms against his leg, his anger is still there, hiding under the surface in favour of trying to get a non-coercive response. “Yuuri, please,” he says instead of answering. 

Yuuri takes a step closer to Victor, who quivers but doesn’t step backwards. It’s almost as if he’s afraid of what Yuuri might do. “Why?” Yuuri asks and he thinks is probably the most important question he can ask. Why him. Why now. Why is this something Victor might want. 

Yuuri wants it, of course he does, but he’s spent so long telling himself that he can’t that it’s taking time for him to process the option that might be available to him. He wipes at his eyes because the first thing he needs to do is stop crying. 

“Why?” Victor asks, brow furrowing as he stares at Yuuri. “Yuuri, why would I  _ not _ want to spend your heat?”

“Because I’m…” he trails off, gesturing to himself. He probably looks quite a sight - dishevelled and face red from crying. 

“Yuuri,” Victor says again, his name said in a reverent voice. Victor steps towards him finally. “You honestly don’t know how attractive you are?”

“I’m… I’m not you,” Yuuri says. Because although he knows he has some good assets, his ass for one, his legs for another, he still can’t compare to the man in front of him. 

“I’m glad you’re not.” Victor responds almost instantly. “I like you because you’re unique.”

“You like me,” Yuuri says, still stunned. He rarely has let himself imagine Victor saying those words to him. And even in his imagination, it’s never come close to the wrenching feeling in his heart right now. 

“Of course,” Victor says as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. 

“So, when you say you want to be a part of my heat…?” No matter the happiness that’s beginning to bloom in his gut, he needs to make sure he completely understands what Victor’s said. There’s no room for mistakes. 

Victor sighs, pushing his bangs out of his face and fixing Yuuri with a stare. “I want to have sex with you, Yuuri, I thought was obvious by now.”

Yuuri’s face changes from the red of tears to embarrassment in a flash. He immediately thinks of Victor and him searching for sex toys together. How he didn’t notice it then is astounding. Hindsight, however, isn’t too helpful now.

If he agrees, then he and Victor will be having sex for a week straight. He wants to ask Victor how deeply his feelings run because it’s the one last thing he’s worried about. If Victor is just in this for sex, then at the end of the week they’ll be back to their relationship from before. That was the thing that had stopped him from asking Victor before. It’s different now because Victor is asking  _ him _ , and Yuuri can’t ask him that because even Yuuri himself doesn’t know how deep his own feelings run. 

“So?” Victor says, standing tense in front of Yuuri. 

If Victor has been feeling this way for a while, maybe even since that first day they looked at heat partners, then these past two weeks must have been difficult for him, watching as Yuuri has tried to decide between heat partners. 

He looks to the things Victor had been packing strewn on the bed, thinks of the courage that Victor must have used to put himself in a place to be rejected. And he decides to take a chance. 

Victor may not feel deeply for him, he may only be in this as a way to share another Omega heat, but he may also want something more from this; he may want to continue afterwards, and if there’s even a slight possibility of something afterwards, Yuuri won’t hesitate to take the risk. 

“Yes,” he says slowly, “I want you to share my heat, Victor.” There’s a relief that comes with saying the words aloud. 

Victor lets out an audible breath. “Good,” he says, face beginning to break into a smile. It brightens the whole room.

However, the problem, Yuuri notices right away, is that because he hasn’t been clear about his own feelings and because he hasn’t asked after Victor’s, is that he’s not sure what they’re supposed to do now. It doesn’t feel right to kiss him because it’s not like they’ve agreed to a relationship, only a heat week. 

They stand there for a moment, a little awkwardly, until Victor says, “So, I guess you’ll want to sign a heat contract now?”

That decides it, then. Right now they’ll just focus on the heat preparations. Anything else; feelings, intimacy, conversations about what lead them to this point, can come afterwards. Surprisingly, Yuuri is okay with that. Most of the anxiety he’s feeling right now is no longer because he’s been worried about going solo, but because he has to have the contract signed before tomorrow morning. 

“I’ll get one printed off,” Yuuri says. But he can’t seem to move. 

Victor takes the last few steps between them so they’re almost chest to chest. In a slow move that Yuuri doesn’t stop, Victor tips Yuuri’s chin up towards him with a light touch to his jaw. Yuuri stares up into his jewel-toned eyes. They’re so close to kissing that it would take almost nothing for Yuuri to close the distance. He waits for Victor’s cue, as he always does. 

“I’m looking forward to it,” he says, and Yuuri’s pretty sure he’s not talking about the contract. He pulls away, winking at him, and Yuuri blushes again. 

“Ah, right, contract,” Yuuri says, backing up until his back presses against Victor’s door. Victor watches as he fumbles to open the door in his embarrassment. He slams the door behind him once he’s out in the hallway. 

He collapses on his bed as soon as he’s down the hall and in his room. He’s grinning into his pillow. It’s not quite relief he’s feeling because there are nervous butterflies in his stomach, but it’s that same light-headed feeling from earlier. 

How much things can change in just a few minutes. He went from being devastated that Victor was angry and might leave to smiling madly into the fabric of his pillow. 

After taking a few minutes to breath and start processing what’s just happened (and clean his face so it doesn’t look like he’s been crying for three days), he sets about printing off the English version of the contract form on his computer.  

Although heat contracts shouldn’t really be necessary between friends or monogamous couples seeing as it’s unlikely and highly unusual for any legal actions to be taken, the incidence rate of non-consensual heats has decreased significantly since they were introduced as a mandatory part of Omega heat health. 

The form Yuuri is printing was made as a template by the World Health Organization. There’s a lot they’ll need to fill out, and even more to discuss. Furthermore, it all needs to be signed before he goes off his suppressants. 

To fill the form out for the paid heat partners would be a simple task because the professionals have already listed their stipulations on their profiles. All Yuuri would have had to do would be to add his own before they signed. But with Victor, he’s not a professional, and Yuuri certainly doesn’t know any of his limits, so they’ll actually need to discuss some of the finer points of the contract. 

It’s not like he hasn’t talked about his preferences to Victor before, but somehow, when he knows the information is actually going to be used, it’s just that little bit more embarrassing. As he waits for his printer to warm up and spit out the pages he needs, he contemplates just how far he’s willing to go for this heat. 

During his last heat with Phichit they’d dabbled into things like restraints, and he’s hoping that he can get Victor to agree to  _ at least  _ that for this one, but then there are some more dangerous fetishes that Yuuri’s been interested in trying, but isn’t sure he can ask Victor for. 

But if this going to end up being the one and only time he spends his heat with  _ Victor Nikiforov _ , then Yuuri isn’t going to hold himself back. If Victor doesn’t want to try something, he’ll say so. But Yuuri won’t know until he asks. 

He snags the pages as soon they’re finished printing and quickly rummages in the drawers for a pen they can use to make notes and sign before heading back to Victor’s room. He reminds himself that soon the two of them will be spending almost all their time in Yuuri’s room instead. 

Victor has cleaned his bed off by the time Yuuri makes it back. The box Victor had used is thrown haphazardly into the corner with a couple others. 

“Bed or couch?” Victor asks as he closes one of his closet doors. 

“Bed,” Yuuri says without hesitation. Of the two, there’s more space. It’s also a little more intimate and he’s excited for an excuse to be able to touch Victor without pretences. 

Victor settles on top of the covers and Yuuri sits next to him, close enough their shoulders brush if he leans in a little. Yuuri hands the contract to Victor so he can at least to a quick look at it, but Victor grabs a Russian book he’s been reading (Yuuri likes to imagine it’s Pride and Prejudice) off his bedside table, and flips to the contract’s last page. 

He signs the contract without hesitating. 

“Victor!” Yuuri chides, snatching it back. “You need to read it first. Plus there are some things we’ll need to add.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Victor says, blinking at him, “whatever you decide on, I’m fine with.”

Yuuri gapes at him. He could put some ridiculous stipulations in here if he wanted and Victor would be legally obligated to follow through on them. But, if he thinks about it, Victor doesn’t seem like one for contracts at all. He’d flown all the way to Hasetsu to coach Yuuri without a single piece of paper that would protect him from liabilities or even being paid coaching fees. 

“I’d still rather we go through it,” Yuuri tells him sincerely. “Even if it’s only for me.”

“Okay!” Victor says, beaming at him. “Whatever makes you most comfortable.”

“I want you to be comfortable too, Victor,” Yuuri responds. Because it’s not just him that’s involved in this heat anymore, it’s the both of them. 

“Why do you want to have your heat with me?” Victor asks suddenly. He’s staring at the first page of the contract, but it doesn’t look like he’s reading it. 

Yuuri takes a moment to wonder why Victor is asking him that. But he recalls Victor’s confession and realises that he still hasn’t given his own. 

“If you’re doing this because I’m your last resort, that’s fine,” Victor beats him to it, “but I’d like to know.”

Yuuri stares at him. This man, who has just claimed to like him, who has signed away a week of his life to Yuuri’s whims, is saying it’s fine if Yuuri is only using him? That’s not okay. Not to Yuuri. 

“That’s not it at all, Victor. I-” he hesitates because he doesn’t want to show his heart so soon, “-me too. I like you, that is.”

“You do?” Victor says, turning towards Yuuri fully on the bed. He grasps his hands, eyes shining. 

“I’ve had a crush on you since my childhood. What do you think?” Yuuri sighs, but there’s a fondness in it. 

Victor’s smile widens further. 

“Mari already said that she told you,” Yuuri says. He’d given her shit for it when he found out, but it seems like a little blessing right now that Victor believes it without hesitation. “It’s not like it’s a secret,” he mumbles, casting his eyes down towards where his and Victor’s hands are joined. He’s pretty sure Yuko has mentioned it to him as well. 

“But it’s so nice to hear you say it, Yuuri,” Victor coos. 

“So, it’s not because you’re my last resort,” he returns to the topic. He thinks it’s important for Victor to know going into this that Yuuri isn’t just using him as a human sex toy, even if that’s what he’ll probably be for the first day or two of his heat. 

“How much of this has to be discussed right now?” Victor asks, looking to the contract that’s sitting between them on the bed. He lets go of Yuuri’s hands to pick it up and take a closer look at the intervening pages. 

“Well, as long as we specify that certain things can be discussed while I’m off suppressants, then it’s fine. But the consent issues and contraception should be dealt with now before there’s any chance of my hormones clouding my judgements.” He thinks back to what Dr. Ito had said - that some Omegas decided in a pre-heat hormone state that they’d be all right with children when normally they wouldn’t. He’s never come close to making that decision, but if there’s even a chance, he’d rather not risk it. 

“Contraception,” Victor says, flipping through until he finds the page with that heading. 

“I got a shot during my appointment today, so there’s little risk of a pregnancy,” Yuuri says. It’s also highly unlikely that there would be any risk even without the birth control injection since he’s been on such a high-dosage suppressants for so long. It’s still unknown how much long-term suppressant use affects reproductive functions. 

“Condoms?” Victor asks, tapping a check box on the page. 

Yuuri frowns. He’d used them his entire heat with Katashi and Mark, but Phichit and he had both been given ‘clean’ results. In the end, he’d rather not use them, but the decision depends on Victor. “I had my bloodwork done today as part of the normal check up. Unless something strange has happened, I should be clean,” he says. “It’s not like I’ve been with any partners since Phichit.”

The page crinkles a little in Victor’s hands. Yuuri makes a note to himself that it’s probably better if he doesn’t mention Phichit for a while. 

“I could get tested,” Victor suggests, understanding where Yuuri’s going. 

“As long as you haven’t had any partners in the past few months, then if you’re clean, we should be able to go without condoms?” Yuuri suggests. 

“Then, I’m sure it’s fine,” Victor says. The unspoken ‘I haven’t been with anyone while I’ve been in Japan’ is left hanging in the air. It’s not like Yuuri and Victor haven’t been living in each other’s pockets since he arrived, but Yuuri doesn't have eyes on him at all times and Victor is a very popular and very attractive man. If Victor had admitted to sexual partners in the past while, Yuuri wouldn’t have been surprised either. 

Yuuri licks his bottom lip without really thinking about it. He’s finding it hard not to imagine now how there will most likely be no barriers between the two of them once his heat comes. 

Victor makes a little sound in the back of his throat that makes Yuuri look up at him. There’s a bit of a flush on Victor’s face. He grabs the pen from beside Yuuri’s knee and scribbles in ‘unnecessary, dependant on test results’ in the space provided. 

“There’s the nondisclosure policy as well,” Yuuri says, flipping back on page. There’s nothing to fill in here. The box at the bottom has already been filled in by Yuuri. He’s always refused to allow any kind of pictures of him taken in bed. Even when with Phichit, who’s his friend. He really doesn’t want his secondary gender revealed, and the best way to keep it secret is to disallow any mentions of it, photos or otherwise. 

“You mean I won’t be able to send a picture of your ass to Phichit to rub it in?” Victor pouts when he sees what Yuuri’s already checked off. 

Yuuri chuckles. He feels like Victor’s going to be competing with Phichit for a while. “No. Even if Phichit knows, you never know who’s going to see the photo. Snapchats don’t actually disappear, you know.”

Victor pouts, but doesn’t disagree. “Am I not allowed to save cute pictures of your ass for myself?”

Yuuri opens his mouth to protest, but can’t find a good reason why Victor shouldn’t be allowed to take pictures of him to save. As long as his phone doesn’t get stolen later on, it should be fine. Why should Yuuri stop Victor from taking pictures he might actually want to have after the heat. “You can take them, but we’ll go through and delete them once my heat’s over.” That way, Yuuri still has control over them. 

Victor seems to take great pleasure in making the side note on the page. After he finishes, he flips to the page before. “Emergency contact information?”

Yuuri sighs. “It’s a pre-made form. It’s for Omegas that are in hotels or not living with family. You can put your own contact information if you want,” he suggests. 

“It’s you,” Victor says simply, “so I don’t think there’s any point.”

Yuuri’s heart skips a beat because he never expected that he’d be Victor’s emergency contract, but it seems obvious. It’s not as if Victor has any family or friends besides Yuuri here in Japan. Unless he’s hoping Yakov is going to fly out overnight to deal with an injury related to heat sex, Yuuri and his family are probably the best bets. But still, to be called an emergency contact feels very domestic. 

“Payment?” Victor asks as he flips to another page. 

The contract is left open for either direction. While many Omegas will pay for heat partners, there are a few Omegas that sell the opportunity to be part of their heats for a pretty penny. “I’m assuming that this won’t be added to your coaching fee,” Yuuri jokes. 

“As long as I’m allowed to tell Chris that I’ve had sex with you, we’re even,” Victor says, a little less joking than Yuuri was. 

“Chris?” Yuuri asks. It’s not the first time he’s heard Victor talk about the Swiss skater. The two seem to be quite friendly, although not in quite the same way as Yuuri and Phichit are. 

Victor nods. “He’s… lusted? I think that’s the best word for it, after you since the last Grand Prix Finals.” Victor sounds completely sincere. 

Yuuri barely remembers Chris from that competition. He’d been so much more focussed on himself. “Why?” He asks, a little incredulous. 

Victor gives him a quick look, but doesn't say anything. He just scratches a ‘N/A’ across the relevant page. Then he laughs outright at the next page. 

“Medical history?” Yuuri asks, peering at the heading. “What’s so funny about that?”

“How in depth are we going?” Victor chuckles. “Do you need to know that I broke my tibia when I was seven?”

Yuuri frowns. “You haven’t ever really looked at a contract before, have you?” Yuuri asks. The one he has is pretty standard, and if Victor has spent heats with other Omegas, he would have had to sign a contract with them as well. “It’s important to know if either party has allergies, to latex, for example. Or a history of seizures.”

“Oh,” Victor says, examining the page a little more closely. Yuuri wonders how many heat contracts Victor’s signed just like he signed Yuuri’s - without reading the fine print. 

“Unless you’ve got a secret allergy, I think we can move on,” Yuuri tells him. He hopes Victor doesn’t ask how Yuuri knows about his lack of allergies because he doesn’t want to embarrass himself by quoting the issue number of the Sports Illustrated volume that had the in-depth interview Yuuri’s thinking of. 

The next page Victor turns too, however, is something that stops both of them. “Bonding.” Victor says slowly.

Even just hearing the word makes the hairs on the back of Yuuri’s neck stand up. For those able to form a bond, it not only increases their sexual pleasure, but adds a deeper layer of emotional connection to their partner. However, a bonding bite is a one-way street; a bite only affects the person who’s bitten. As it stands, Omegas can bond with any of the secondary genders, as can Alphas, but Betas don’t have the biological scent glands needed for bonding. 

While bonding bites used to serve an archaic purpose of binding two individuals together, it’s much less intense of an act as it once was. ‘Bite’ is actually quite an unhelpful term as all that’s actually required to bond a couple together is a light bruising of the scent gland at the junction of the neck. 

In the end, bonding lasts only a couple days, so bonding bites are fairly common for couples of all relationship lengths. Even one-night stands will sometimes create a bonding bite in a fit of passion. Monogamous couples require regular upkeep on the bruise in order to stay bonded. 

The short refractory period for bonding was once biologically helpful to allow bonding between multiple partners for maximum offspring production. Now, however, it’s used as a measure of the strength of a married couple’s relationship. It’s even a way for youth to explore their sexualities without feeling the need to be attached to one partner. In fact, it’s very common to see teenagers with multiple bruises on their necks. 

In the case of heats, it’s not uncommon for Omegas to request a bond bite as it helps lessen their heat symptoms. Feeling that deep emotional connection to a partner, even if it only lasts a week, helps produce quicker orgasms and increases the time between bouts. The bond, of course, fades away not long after the end of the heat, leaving no lasting damages. 

Yuuri’s thought about asking for a bonding bite before, but even with Phichit, has decided to not try. There’s something about asking for a bond bite and not giving one in return, knowing that you’re the only one of the pair that’s feeling the deep connection, that’s made Yuuri feel a little uneasy. 

For this heat, he wonders if he should try. Even if Victor is a Beta, Yuuri’s always been curious as to how he’d be affected by a bond bite, and he’s interested in finding out. He feels safe enough with Victor, at least, that he doesn’t feel his usual discomfort with the idea. 

He still doesn’t know if Victor’s a Beta or not, and although the answer to Victor’s secondary gender should tell him whether he needs to ask if Victor wants a bond too, he figures that now isn’t really the time to come out and ask what kind of dick Victor has. He should just be grateful that Victor is willing to share his heat. 

The page of the contract they’re both silently staring at gives all the options available to them. No bonding, one-way bonding, and two-way bonding. Yuuri knows that he can’t just demand a bond bite. Even if it’s not something that would affect Victor physically, giving a bond bite is still something that must be done willingly. Even just the simple act of creating a bond, knowing that someone is attached to you in a way, is intimate and shouldn’t be given away easily. 

“Is this something we have to decide now?” Victor is the first one to ask.

“No,” Yuuri responds. “I’m fine with any of the options, so the decision will ultimately be up to you. And since you won’t be compromised by heat hormones like I will, you can take as long as you need to decide.”

“I just need to think about it for a day or so,” Victor says. “I want you to feel pleasure, Yuuri, but…” he trails off. 

“It’s fine,” Yuuri makes sure to say. 

“I’m alright with scenting,” Victor says, touching his own neck, “if you want that during your pre-heat too.” It’s a far less intrusive way of getting acquainted with your partner. Sometimes it’s casual, even. Yuuri thinks back to Toshi and his demand to scent before they sat down to dinner together. 

“May I?” Yuuri asks. 

Victor blinks in surprise. He hadn’t really been offering it now, but Yuuri’s curious. “Sure,” he says, tilting his head to the right so he exposes his neck. 

Yuuri hesitates for a second before leaning in to brush his nose against the soft skin right where Victor’s neck meets his shoulder. His skin smells clean, but besides the faint trace of soap, there’s only the scent of suppressant. Not any of the second genders, just… a neutral scent. 

It’s probably exactly how Yuuri smells right now too, but by tomorrow noon, his scent will have changed. 

He pulls back, still so unsure as to what secondary gender Victor might be. But it doesn’t matter. At this point, Victor could be an Omega for all Yuuri cares. Even though he’s been craving the scent of an Alpha lately, he doesn’t care about the gender, he only cares about the person. And the person he wants is Victor. 

They leave the ‘Bonding’ page blank and find the last page they really need to discuss. Boundaries. 

“This, I’ve done before,” Victor says. “I think I’ve always had these conversations by phone, though.”

“It’s not much different,” Yuuri tells him. “We can go about this two ways. First, we could talk about each kind of sexual position, each…  _ kink _ , we’d like to try,” he tries not to blush as he thinks how intimate a conversation that could be, “or second, we can decide on hard lines we will not cross. And then, even when I’m off suppressants, we can narrow the list.”

“That’s possible?” Victor asks. 

“If we do it that way, yes,” Yuuri nods. “It’s fine to make boundaries stricter when I’m pre-heat. That’s not an issue. If I don’t like something during pre-heat, even if I would like it now, we shouldn't do it. The only problem would be removing those hard lines. If I decide now that I don’t like something, I can’t change that decision before or during my heat week.”

Victor seems like he understands, so he nods. “So we choose what our hard boundaries are now, and then we can continue to trim from there later on?”

“Exactly. As long as you define your hard limits, any kinks that fall outside of them can be discussed during the week. Gives you time to think about it.” Yuuri takes the paper and pen from Victor and writes ‘bodily fluid play’ at the top of the list. “Not including semen,” he makes sure that Victor knows that’s the exception. 

“I should hope not,” Victor says, his tongue briefly poking out to lick his bottom lip. Yuuri knows exactly what Victor’s thinking about. 

He breathes in through his nose and says, “what about you?”

“Hardcore BDSM practices,” Victor tells Yuuri to put down. He writes it in, not bothering to ask why. If Victor doesn’t want it, then he won’t try to pressure him. “I just don’t feel like we can meeting the ‘sane’ part of ‘safe, sane, consensual’ at all times during your heat,” Victor explains anyway. 

It makes perfect sense to Yuuri, but he has to ask, “what about light restraints? Or blindfolds?” He was looking forward to those in particular. But if Victor doesn’t want them, he can’t push the issue. 

“Oh, those are fine,” Victor says, smiling. “I was thinking about pain practices, like flogging, in particular.”

“Okay. Anything else?” Yuuri asks. 

“There are a few things I’d like to run by you,” Victor says, running his eyes down Yuuri’s body quickly in a once-over, “but they’re things we can discuss later. Not definitive boundaries.”

Yuuri swallows hard, wishing he knew what Victor was already planning for the two of them. “Then I think the contract is almost complete,” Yuuri says. 

He flips to the final page where Victor’s signature already is. “Now that you’ve read everything, are you consenting to share my heat with me under these terms?”

“Nothing’s changed,” Victor says. 

“You’re still able to back out of the contract at any time,” Yuuri wants to remind him. It’s the same for him. “The only thing that’s really still missing is a safeword, and that can be chosen at any point before my heat starts.” There is a blank spot at the bottom of the last page to add it. It’s an essential thing to have - its existence is meant as a last line of defense for Omegas who, even in heat hazes, will be able to remember and use it if they’re uncomfortable.  They don’t need to decide now, and it’s better if they choose together. 

With everything in order, Yuuri signs and dates the last page. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this was shorter than I was hoping it would be. I would have added more, but apparently I have pneumonia and since I’ve been coughing up a storm (and laughing at myself singing in a wheezy voice at 3am) I haven’t had much energy left to write. If all goes well, I should be updating within two to three days again. If you want updates on how quickly I’m writing, you can follow me on [tumblr.](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com)
> 
> I know a lot of people were really excited for the slowburn to be over, but even though they’ve admitted their attraction, neither is willing to talk about how far their feelings go, so I’m afraid you’ll have to hold on for a while yet. 
> 
> If you have suggestions for what their safeword should be, I’d love to hear them. Yuuri’s going off his suppressants next chapter and things are going to change A LOT. Please let me know how I’m doing. I really do appreciate every bit of love I get.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright - so I finally got this chapter done and I couldn’t be happier. Thanks for all the well-wishes; I’m doing better (but not great). I’m honestly hoping that you’ll enjoy this chapter as we finally start on Yuuri’s pre-heat week.

After the contract is signed, Yuuri turns to Victor. “I’ll give this to Mari to keep hold of,” he says. It’s better if neither of them have access to it, just incase preheat hormones make them susceptible to changing whims. 

“I guess there’s a few things I need sort out myself,” Victor says, nodding, looking between the contract and Yuuri. 

“I-” Yuuri hesitates as he begins to slide off the bed. “Thank you,” he says. 

Victor blinks, looking a little startled. “For what?”

“For asking to share my heat. I don’t- I have trouble asking for that kind of thing.” It’s the truth and although Victor probably already knows it by now, Yuuri thinks he should be clear that the reason he didn’t ask was because he was terrified, not because he didn’t want it. 

Victor’s face softens. “I didn’t notice at first,” he says honestly. “But after you said Phichit had to ask you, I figured that maybe I might have to do the same.”

“I’m glad you did,” Yuuri says, touching Victor’s hand. 

Victor looks down to where they’re touching and smiles. “I’m very excited to share your heat. I promise that I’ll make sure you enjoy it.” It’s said with sincerity and determination. Even if Yuuri believed that Victor was only doing this out of duty (which he doesn’t now), then he’d still be stunned at how genuine Victor sounds. 

He also knows there’s almost no way that he wouldn’t enjoy spending his heat with Victor. He’s crazy about the man. His inner teenager is panicking at possibly having all the fantasies about his idol come true. Yuuri is also panicking because there’s so much to ask for and he doesn’t know where to start. 

“You’re meant to enjoy it too,” he says, keeping calm. It’s real. This is real. He’s holding a heat contract with Victor’s signature to prove it. He’d always dreamt of Victor signing his posters, but this one is so much better. 

“Of course I’ll enjoy it,” Victor says, leaning over, “it’s with you.” His eyes are sparkling and there’s a small smirk on his lips. Victor’s eyelids flutter as he leans into Yuuri’s space.

For a split second Yuuri’s positive Victor’s going to kiss him, as if to seal the contract physically as well. His body freezes in anticipation and his heart stutters. Yuuri can’t tell if he’s eager or terrified. The number of times he’s dreamt of this moment can’t be counted. 

But Victor bypasses Yuuri’s lips to press a kiss to Yuuri’s cheek. He lingers for a moment, lips hot against Yuuri’s skin. Then he pulls away slowly and Yuuri can feel heat rush to his cheeks in response. 

Although it wasn’t what he was expecting, he’s still grateful. He knows he shouldn’t expect any kind of physical contact from Victor until his heat arrives. It had been the same with Phichit - they hadn’t tried anything, or even kissed (Yuuri isn’t going to count the drunken or on-a-dare kisses, thank you), until Yuuri had gone into heat. 

Just because they’ve decided to be intimate for a specific reason doesn’t mean those privileges transfer to non-heat times. So yes, he’s appreciative that Victor is even willing to show a small amount of affection like a kiss on the cheek. 

Mari’s the first one to notice when they finally come back to the main room. She takes one look between them and smirks. “Finally figured it out, huh?”

“Mari,” Yuuri whines, beginning to blush again. Although it’s inevitable his whole family will find out, it’s still embarrassing that they will know who he’s having sex with for a week. 

“I’ve gotta say, Yuuri. It took you long enough. I’ve been waiting for this for a  _ very _ long time.” She’s almost grinning now and Yuuri knows she’s not just talking about these past two weeks. She’s referencing the one time that he made her swear she’d never talk about again. The time he’d been sixteen, accidentally gotten drunk at a function here at the hotsprings, and complained for half an hour to his sister about how attractive his idol was and what he’d give to share his heat with him. He’s about to tell her off because,  _ really _ , she  _ promised _ she would never speak of that night, but Victor interrupts. 

“Oh, Mari. Could you come to the doctor’s with me? I’ll need a translator.” 

Mari turns to Victor. “Eh? The doctors? Again?”

“I can go with you,” Yuuri says, turning to Victor. It’s because of what they decided that Victor needs to be tested, so he should be the one to tag along. 

“You’ve had a long day already,” Victor protests, “and you missed morning practice because of your appointment. I’m expecting you to at least get in a proper workout before we do a short afternoon skate.”

Yuuri sighs, not only because Victor’s right, but because it’s just like him to focus on Yuuri’s practice instead of the next week. “Okay, yeah,” he agrees. He really should make sure he keeps up with his workouts. He doesn’t know what the heat week is going to do to his body, so the more muscle he puts on beforehand, the better. 

“So, who’s going to tell Mom and Dad that you’re going to be shacking up with a handsome foreigner?” Mari chuckles. 

“It’s just for my heat!” Yuuri protests. After his mother had admitted she knew about Phichit, he’s been less worried about telling them he’ll be sharing his heat with someone. He just didn’t expect them to know the partner he’s picked. 

“So it’s true?” Mari asks, sounding a little less like she’s joking. “You decided to share a heat?”

“Yeah, we just signed the contract” Yuuri says, then remembers what he’s holding. “Oh! Here,” Yuuri says, holding out the contract for Mari. “Can you take care of it, please?” He’s given her all of his heat contracts before - this is the first time it’s been a hard-copy though. 

“Sure,” she says, taking it, then folding it in half and tucking it into her work robes. “Congrats you two.”

It takes some very meaningful looks from Victor for them to part, Yuuri going to get changed for a workout and Mari heading off with Victor to a nearby clinic for a blood test. It's nice to go for a workout right now without Victor because it will help clear his head.

* * *

 

Mari ends up outside Yu-topia, just as Yuuri’s coming home from the gym. “Where’s Victor?” He asks as he shakes the sweat from his hair. 

“After the clinic he said he had a couple errands to run,” Mari shrugs, “so I left him.”

She lights a cigarette and stares at Yuuri who sits on the steps to untie his running shoes. 

“Are you happy? With sharing your heat with Victor?” She finally asks. “Because this morning you were certain you were going to try doing it alone. I know you like him, but I just want to make sure he didn’t pressure you into it if you’re not ready.”

Yuuri’s touched that she’s actually asking him. But she’s always been supportive of him and his choices. He pulls his shoes off and sighs. “Yeah, I’m happy. Ever since I presented as an Omega, I’d dreamt of something like this. All I’ve wanted to do since I first saw Victor skate was to share the ice with him. Now, I get to share my bed?”

“He’s just as excited,” Mari says. 

“You think?” Yuuri says, looking up at her. 

“He talked to me the other day, you know?” Mari bites her bottom lip. She probably doesn’t think she should be telling Yuuri this. “He was asking about how much you idolized him as a kid.”

“Mari!” Yuuri chides. “I asked you not to tell him about that again!”

“I know, I know,” Mari waves. “But he was concerned, so I couldn’t just leave him hanging.”

“Concerned?” 

“Yeah. Well, he was going on about how he can’t read you as well as he thought. And he asked me whether, if he asked about your heat, if you’d say ‘yes’ just because you wanted to sleep with someone famous.”

“What?” Yuuri asks, incredulous. He’s never liked Victor because he’s famous. He started liked him because Victor had captured his attention from the first time Yuuri saw him skate. And he’d continued to be entrancing all the way through Yuuri’s life. Even if Victor wasn’t an international figure skating star, Yuuri probably would be just as enamoured. 

Mari sighs. “I know. I had to tell him. He seemed really upset about it. So I told him.”

“Told him what?” Yuuri frowns, not liking where she’s headed. 

“That you’ve liked him for years. That the whole family knew you were besotted with him because he was the only thing you’d really talk about for years. The one thing that gave you a spark when no one else could get you out of a slump.”

“Oh, god,” Yuuri says, burying his face in his hands. He can’t believe Mari went that far. It’s one thing to say that he idolized Victor, so many skaters have, but that he was obsessed with him? That’s plain embarrassing. 

“He was flattered,” Mari says, noticing Yuuri’s discomfort. “And if it helped him get the courage to ask if he could be a part of your heat, it was worth telling him, right?”

“I guess,” Yuuri mutters. The conversation ends there because Victor is walking up the drive towards them with a plastic bag dangling from his arm and a bandage on the crook of his other arm.

“Yuuri! Mari!” Victor waves, smiling ear to ear. 

“Hey,” Yuuri greets. 

“You look like you’ve had a good workout!” Victor says, brushing Yuuri’s hair back from his face, still smiling widely. 

“Yeah. I can still do a skate later if you want,” Yuuri says, feeling warmth bloom across his chest as Victor’s fingers brush past his ears. 

“Perfect!” Victor says, then shakes the bag on his arm a little, “I’ll just put this inside and we can go out.”

“What did you get?” Yuuri asks, peering into the bad. 

“Oh!” Victor reaches in and pulls out the first thing, “condoms!” He puts the large box in Yuuri’s hands. 

“I’m gone,” Mari mutters as soon as she sees it and stubs out her cigarette before heading back into the house. 

“Condoms?” Yuuri splutters, staring at the box. They’re an XL brand, but not Alpha-sized. 

“Well, I was thinking,” Victor says, watching a blushing Yuuri look at the box, “even if we don’t need the condoms, we can use them for your toys, right? It makes clean-up easy. And time is sometimes of the essence during a heat, right?”

“I suppose,” Yuuri says, licking his lips. It  _ is _ a good idea. 

“Also…” Victor rummages in the bag again, pulling out the next item, “some advil, in case we get a little too rough,” he drops the painkiller bottle into Yuuri’s other hand. 

Yuuri can feel a blush creeping up the back of his neck. Victor’s been thinking about them having rough sex. He thinks he might be rough with Yuuri. Wow. Okay. 

“And,” he pulls the last two items out of the bag. “Some chocolate, to keep up energy,” he puts the package in Yuuri’s arms as well. 

It’s a nice gesture, but they’re going to need more than a few chocolates to tide them through the week. 

“And lastly,” Victor says as he gives the last item to Yuuri to hold, “ some creme, just in case of chaffing.”

That does make Yuuri’s face heat up. He’s standing out front of his home holding condoms and creme for the rough sex they’re apparently going to have. “Ah, thank you?” He mutters. 

“You’re welcome,” Victor says, still grinning. He holds out the shopping bag and Yuuri gratefully drops the items back inside. “I’m sure you’re going to want more things, but this is a good start, right?”

“Yeah, it’s good,” Yuuri says, swallowing, looking up at Victor’s excited eyes, so close to his own. 

“Ready to skate with me?” Victor asks, touching Yuuri’s arm. “I texted Yuko earlier and she said they have some free ice time at 2pm, if we wanted the ice to ourselves.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Yuuri agrees. He’s happy to keep practicing with Victor, even if he’s going to be a little distracted by thinking about what Victor wants to do with him. But apparently, Victor is thinking about it to, if the ‘gifts’ are anything to go by.

Just after lunch, they head over to the Ice Castle. There’s a pack of school children leaving just as they enter. Victor has him out on the ice as soon as he has his skates on, running through drills. 

“Are you coming out too?” Yuuri asks after about 10 minutes of Victor just watching from behind the boards. 

“Soon. I’m just enjoying watching you,” Victor smirks. “You wanna try practicing that quad salchow? You’ve almost got it down.”

Yuuri nods, feeling as if he’s warmed up enough. He’s certainly a little hot under the collar with all of Victor’s attention focussed on him. 

He completes two jumps. Both almost flawless. He skates past Victor, waiting to hear his complaints. 

“Handcuffs,” Victor says instead, leaning on the boards. 

Yuuri’s head snaps up to look at him. “What?”

“I was thinking about things for your heat. You ordered those leather restraints, didn’t you? With all the other toys. I’d like to use those.” Victor says with a straight face. 

Yuuri trips over one of his toe-picks, heart beating just as fast as after completing five of those quad jumps. “What?” Yuuri asks again, skating over towards Victor. 

“You said we should discuss things we’d like to try during your heat. I’m suggesting restraints. I have a better set of handcuffs myself if you liked metal instead,” he says as Yuuri stops in front of him on the ice. 

“I, ah, yes? I did say we should discuss it, but… now?” Yuuri says. He thought they were going to wait a couple days before they started diving into kinks. At least, that’s what it sounded like when they signed the contract. 

“If you don’t want to try it, that’s fine, just say so.” Victor starts pouting. 

“No! No, no, it’s fine,” Yuuri says quickly. Of course it’s something he wants. 

“Really?” Victor smiles. “Good. I’ve thought about those restraints a few times, you know.” He nods a little as if it’s a normal thing to say. 

“You have?” Yuuri says meekly. 

“They were very nice restraints. I was thinking about getting a pair myself.” Victor leans back, cocking his hip to one side. “Just thinking about them around your wrists got me all hot and bothered,” Victor purrs. 

Yuuri’s mouth goes dry. “You thought about me? Being tied up?”

Victor blinks at him, and it even looks like he’s blushing a bit too. “Of course. I did say I was attracted to you, didn’t I?”

“Yes, but, attracted and imagining me… with the…” he can’t even say it out loud, “it’s different.”

“I guess,” Victor shrugs. “So, handcuffs, is that okay? I know it’s a little more than ‘vanilla’, but it’s not dangerous, just fun.”

“Yeah. Fine. Good.” Yuuri agrees. Well, that’s one thing he can look forward to next week. 

“Why did you stop practicing?” Victor asks suddenly, frowning. 

Yuuri gives him a look, but skates off to try a couple more. If Victor keeps going like this - springing kinks on him at inopportune moments - he’s not sure how he’ll survive until his heat without just asking that they start early. 

Victor doesn’t mention anything else related to their heat the rest of the day. But he is polite enough to pull aside Yuuri’s mother before supper and explain that he and Yuuri have signed a contract. Yuuri overhears them as he’s setting the table. She thanks Victor and asks that he take care of Yuuri for the week. It's sweet, but still awkward.

Yuuri also hopes that Victor  _ can _ take care of him during his heat. From what he’s suggested in previous conversations, he’s fairly well-versed in keeping his partners satisfied. He doesn't expect anything less from one of the world’s most eligible playboys. But Yuuri has specific needs, and although Victor suggesting handcuffs will probably fill one of those needs, he has so many more. 

After dinner, Victor and he part ways outside Victor’s bedroom. “We can discuss more thing than handcuffs tomorrow, if you want,” Victor says. “But tonight, just rest.”

“Okay,” Yuuri agrees. 

For the second time that day, Victor leans forward and presses a chaste kiss to Yuuri’s cheek. He bids him goodnight and Yuuri’s left to stagger to his room in a bit of a daze. 

He gets ready for bed, mind firmly on Victor. He’s only broken out of his trance, after he’s tucked into bed, by a video call from Phichit. 

“Hello?” He answers, eyes still a little unfocused. 

“Yuuri!” Phichit greets with a smile. “I just wanted to check in on you, see how you were doing. You’re stopping your suppressants tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah,” he says. He realises that Phichit doesn’t know yet. 

“Do you have enough stuff to help you get through your heat?” Phichit asks. 

Yuuri can see himself in the corner of the video call - face smushed into his pillow, glasses askew. He looks out of it. Phichit’s probably wondering if he’s gone off his suppressants early. “I ordered a bunch of things. But Phichit-”

“I’m glad you got more,” Phichit nods. “You know you can call me, right? If you want someone to talk you through parts of your heat?”

“I don’t think I’ll need to,” Yuuri mutters, turning his face into his pillow.

“It should be fine,” Phichit continues, ignoring what Yuuri’s said, “as long as I’m not at practice.”

“Victor asked me,” Yuuri says, but it’s half-muffled by his pillow. 

“I don’t think coach would- wait. What?” What Yuuri’s said finally registers. “Did you just say…”

“Victor, yes,” Yuuri said a little louder. 

“Holy crap,” Phichit says, “Yuuri. Victor? Like, your idol, your coach, five-time world champion, Victor?”

“He asked me today.” He can’t believe it was just this morning that Victor asked. That Victor admitted that he found Yuuri attractive. It’s almost surreal. 

“Tell. Me. Everything.” Phichit demands. 

Yuuri settles in for a long discussion because he knows Phichit won’t rest until he’s heard all the details. It’s an hour later when Phichit finally lets him go. He’s so exhausted by the day and then by running through everything for a second time that he falls asleep easily without worrying about going off his suppressants in the morning.

* * *

 

The first day off his suppressants is anticlimactic. His body doesn’t feel any different. He thought it would. He realises that it takes time to flush suppressants out of his system and he shouldn’t be so impatient, but now that he has a contract and a plan, he’s ready for his heat to get here.  

They hold regular practice again and Yuuri gets through it with hard work and Victor’s soft praises like usual. They don’t really talk about Yuuri’s upcoming heat, or the fact that in seven days they’ll be having sex. Victor doesn’t even bring up any of the kinks they should probably discuss. It almost seems as if they’re teetering on the edge of something and the both of them are just waiting until that something, whatever it is, happens. 

In the afternoon they start cleaning Yuuri’s room - scrubbing the bathroom using mostly bleach to destroy any lingering scents that aren’t Victor and Yuuri. He even starts tidying his room, but doesn’t get very far. 

In the evening they watch some tv together with the family, sitting close, but barely touching. Victor gives Yuuri another kiss on the cheek before they part ways to go to bed. It's not that it's a disappointing day, just that it wasn't quite what he was imagining it would be.

* * *

 

Yuuri wakes up early the next morning. And he knows. 

During the night his suppressants must have worn off and his full Omega senses have returned. He’s definitely started his pre-heat now because he’s already sensitive to the extraneous smells in the room and they’re beginning to bother him. But the thing that is first on his mind, and what has probably woken him up before his alarm, is Victor’s scent. Past the chemical overtones of suppressant is a warmly spiced, but musky, note.  

He gets out of bed quickly, nose seeking out the enticing scent. The house is dark and quiet, and in his bare feet he quickly and quietly makes his way into Victor’s room. The scent is so much stronger in here, but it’s not overpowering. And he  _ knows _ . 

“Victor,” he says quietly, crawling up on the bed, careful to avoid waking Maccachin.

“Hmmm?” Victor moans, slowing coming out of sleep as Yuuri leans over Victor. “Yuuri?” His voice is sleepy, and although Yuuri’s practically looming over him, in a show of trust, he slowly slides into wakefulness.

He shifts to face Yuuri and the covers pull away from around his shoulders and Yuuri gets a new, full burst of the scent.  _ And he knows. _

Victor is an Alpha.

“Victor, why didn’t you say anything?” Yuuri asks, trying to control himself from tearing the covers back and putting his hands all over Victor’s shirtless body. 

“Say anythi-” Victor starts to ask, but he must realise exactly why Yuuri’s in his bed because even in the dark of the room, Yuuri can see his nostrils flare right before he tenses up. Yuuri’s scent has probably changed as well - lost the chemical smell in favour of Omega. “Yuuri,” he says, reaching over to turn on a light. Yuuri stops him. He’d rather do this in the dark where Victor can’t see his expression. 

“You’re an Alpha,” he says bluntly. After all this time, of him waxing poetic about how he’d like to share his heat with an Alpha, Victor’s just been standing by and not saying anything?

“Yes,” Victor says, shuffling. He pulls the covers off a little and sits up in bed so Yuuri and he can be at eye-level, although there’s not much to see in the dim light of the room. “I was wondering when you’d notice. I didn’t take my suppressants yesterday, same as you. It’s no problem to go back on them this morning if it isn’t something you like, but you said you wanted an Alpha for your heat, so if you’d prefer I went off them, I will.”

“Can I?” Yuuri asks. 

It only takes a second for Victor to understand what Yuuri wants. He sits up a little straighter, then bares his neck submissively. 

Yuuri wastes no time in straddling Victor, getting as close as he can, bracing his hands on the headboard behind Victor’s shoulders, and pressing his nose right up against Victor’s scent gland. He greedily inhales and he practically melts against Victor. 

It’s that same musky, heady scent that Yuuri had enjoyed on Toshi and Akio. But Victor smells so much sweeter. It seems so cliche to describe his scent as ‘edible’, but it really does have a muted tang of spice. Whereas the other Alpha scents were musk and pheromones without much substance, Victor’s scent is layered. 

Of course there’s the familiar Alpha components that make Yuuri’s knees weak and send warm arousal to his groin. But there’s also a redolence that cuts through the musk. The most synonymous scent Yuuri can think of is cloves. The whole scent feels like warm spiced tea, promising relaxation and satiation.  

He swallows to keep himself from tonguing at the pressure point. He wants more of the smell - it just isn’t enough - isn’t potent like the other scents have been. 

“Yuuri?” Victor asks. It’s not that he seems to mind Yuuri’s in his space; rather he seems to be asking if Yuuri’s the one who’s okay. 

“Please, just let me…” Yuuri mumbles against Victor’s collarbone. 

“Yeah, okay,” Victor says in a breathy voice. Yuuri can hear the stutter in his breath, and can feel his hands shake when he rests them on Yuuri’s hips. Yuuri would say he’s enjoying the position they’re in - pleased that Yuuri’s taking in his scent. But there’s something more. 

If he can smell this many new things from Victor, he wonders what Victor smells on him.

He refuses to pull away from the perfect spot his mouth has against the soft skin just below Victor’s neck, but he tilts his head a little and says, “If you want to as well, go ahead.”

That must have been what Victor was waiting for because he immediately mimics Yuuri’s position - nose pressing against the spot his scent gland should be and inhales. He freezes at the apex of his breath, and exhales hot and shaking against Yuuri’s shoulder. 

“Yuuri, you-” Victor can’t seem to get the words out as he inhales deeply again. 

“Mnnn,” Yuuri agrees. Eyes closed, relaxed completely against Victor’s body, almost blissed out. 

“It’s like…” Victor tries to find the words, lips brushing Yuuri’s collarbone as he speaks, “Oranges. Sweet, yet… not. Rice vinegar. Grapefruit peels.”

Yuuri understands that Victor’s trying to describe his scent, but just like Yuuri can’t pinpoint any one particular smell, or even explain how it’s not quite like any other scent he knows, Victor can’t explain Yuuri’s smell in any other way than its feeling.

“Tangy. Sweet. Sharp. Delicious. Vkusno.”

The moments pass slowly, just sitting there, basking in the newness of each other’s base scent. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Yuuri breathes into Victor’s neck. 

“Hmm?” Victor hums, his chest rumbling

“Why, after everything I’d said, did not tell me you were an Alpha? Why suppress at all?” Yuuri asks. He still refuses to move from his place in Victor’s lap. Because neither of them have been off their suppressants for long, their scents aren’t potent. Yuuri just can’t get quite enough of Victor’s sent to be satisfied. 

Victor nuzzles at Yuuri’s neck affectionately. “Those are two different questions, katsudon.”

“Answer at least one of them,” Yuuri requests. 

Victor sighs into Yuuri’s neck and breathes deeply again, fingers tightening on Yuuri’s hips and he gets another full rush of Yuuri’s scent. “I suppress because…” he hesitates for a second. Yuuri can feel Victor’s eyelashes brush lightly against his jawline. “I’m in the public eye all the time,” he says finally. “You understand, you suppress too.”

“I suppress because I don’t want to go through heats every few months,” Yuuri corrects him. “You’re an Alpha, you don’t need to worry about bad social stigmas or poor biological repercussions.”

“I don’t think only Omegas have a negative social stigma,” Victor admits. “When I was young… just before I presented, everyone was sure I was going to be an Omega. I was… beautiful. Feminine.”

Yuuri does remember that. He was gorgeous. The whole world had taken him as a stereotypical Omega. They’d even made sex toys based on him. But as Victor had grown, had filled into his taller body, he was no longer stereotypical of any gender. He still had the grace and beauty of an Omega, but he didn’t have the petite figure. He was strong and confident like an Alpha, but he didn’t have the macho self-servient attitude to go with it. 

The least controversial theory was that Beta, but even then, die-hard fans tried to say that someone with that kind of charisma had to have an Alpha gender. There are still forums around with discussions about Victor’s secondary gender. 

“But why suppress instead of showing off you were an Alpha?” Yuuri asks. When Yuuri presented as an Omega he would have been so happy to know that Victor was an Alpha. 

“There are stereotypes that go along with a gender like that,” Victor mumbles. “I… I didn’t really want to lose my identity to those stereotypes. There’s routines you can’t do, personas you can’t put on, when everyone expects you to act a certain way.”

Yuuri understands that too. He knows he’d be treated differently if competitors, or even judges, knew about his secondary gender. He just didn’t think that Alphas might have the same problem. 

“Let them wonder,” Victor says. “It’s not like it matters, not really.”

“I’d wondered,” Yuuri says. “Until now, I didn’t know. You hide it so well.”

“I’m not hiding,” Victor says, his lips accidentally brushing Yuuri’s skin as he says it, “I just don’t think there’s anything to those archaic stereotypes. Who I am on suppressants is the same as the person I am when I’m an Alpha. I’d rather be seen for me than for my gender.”

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri says because he doesn’t know how else to respond. He was just like everyone else - trying to judge what kind of person Victor might be depending on what he presented as. Now that he knows, he’s not surprised that Victor’s an Alpha, but that doesn't mean to say that he was expecting it either.  

“Don’t be sorry,” Victor says, tightening his hold on Yuuri. “We all do it. I’m no better than you - I’d wondered before what you were. I was sure you were an Alpha. I told myself for months that even if you were, it wasn’t unusual for two Alphas to have sex. I’ve done it myself.”

“You wanted me before you knew I was an Omega?” Yuuri asks, trying to pull back finally to look Victor in the eye, but Victor holds him tightly, refusing to move from where his nose is firmly pressed against Yuuri’s scent gland. It’s probably for the best - they seem to be able to have more heartfelt conversations when they’re not looking at each other. 

“Yes,” Victor confesses. The warmth Yuuri feels because of the disclosure makes him understand why Victor is so picky about not wanting anyone to know he’s an Alpha. Victor wants Yuuri for who he is, not just because Yuuri can have heats. 

“I’m glad,” Yuuri smiles happily into Victor’s neck. 

“I didn’t say anything because…” Yuuri can hear the hesitation in his voice again. “I thought you might want to choose me because I was an Alpha. You were so insistent you wanted one. I didn’t want it to be the only reason you asked me.”

Yuuri feels badly because if he’d known Victor was an Alpha he might have been persuaded to ask based on that alone. “If you’d prefer to stay on suppressants for my heat, that’s fine,” he says instead. He can compromise. If Victor is more comfortable that way, then he’d rather have him for his heat than have an Alpha. 

Yuuri can feel Victor swallow. He’s silent for a few moments, fingers clenching in Yuuri’s sleep shirt. “No, I think I’d like to try being off them for once,” he says finally. 

“You never have before?” Yuuri asks, confused. Victor’s already said he’s shared other Omega’s heats before. He just assumed that Victor had gone off his suppressants for those, just as he’s doing now. 

“I’ve never had a reason to, no. But for you, for this heat, I think I want to. I want to be the Alpha you’re craving.”

Yuuri shudders at that, giving the smallest of nips to the spot just below Victor’s scent gland. “I’d like that,” he says. He’d more than like that, honestly. It’s the best situation he could have imagined - Victor’s not only going to share his heat, but he’s also an Alpha, ready to give Yuuri the knot he’s been craving. 

Victor sniffs at Yuuri’s neck, trying to take in more of his Omega smell now that it probably has a tinge of arousal to it. He shifts under Yuuri, his groin pressing up against Yuuri’s ass where he’s seated in Victor’s lap. It certainly doesn’t feel like he’s completely impartial to their arrangement, or the way Yuuri smells. 

Yuuri can feel himself stiffen in return. If he had any doubts about whether Victor was attracted to him, they’ve all gone. The proof is right there in the heat and hardness. He gently moves his hips in a small circle and Victor lets out a low groan. He presses a sloppy kiss to Yuuri’s neck in return. 

Yuuri breathes in the deep, heady aroma, tasting the Alpha in Victor’s scent, feeling the arousal in it too. “Your smell,” Yuuri tries to explain just what Victor’s fragrance doing to him. 

“Yuuri,” Victor moans into his neck. 

They’re both startled when Victor’s phone alarm goes off on the bedside table. It chimes, bright light illuminating the room. 

Yuuri groans, angry that they’ve been interrupted. He doesn’t know where this might be going, but he was more than willing to find out. 

“We should…” Victor finally pulls away from him, and Yuuri reluctantly does the same. He leans over and presses ‘snooze’ so the alarm finally shuts off. “We should get ready for practice,” Victor says. 

“Yeah,” Yuuri says, breathing deeply, trying to gather the last of Victor’s scent for now. He pulls away completely, swinging his leg back over Victor’s body so he can sit on the edge of the bed. The front of his pajamas is still tented. 

Victor finally turns on one of his lights and Yuuri blinks hard to help his eyes adjust to the sudden brightness. He looks back over his shoulder at Victor who’s not even trying to hide his arousal. 

Victor squints at him, holding a hand up to shield his eyes. Yuuri licks his lips, craving the bare skin of Victor’s upper torso that on display. 

Yuuri debates for a moment whether he should turn back and ask to do something about both of their erections, but neither of them have specifically said whether they’re open to having sex before Yuuri’s heat. And they’re both probably a little high on each other’s scents, enough that Yuuri’s not sure either of them could resist if offered a chance for sexual release. 

Victor’s phone chimes again and they both sigh. “I’ll go get ready,” Yuuri says, moving away from the bed finally. 

“Give me, ah, a few minutes,” Victor says, “to get a handle on this.” He gestures towards his erection and Yuuri flushes. He’s still feeling the same. 

“15 minutes,” Yuuri promises. “I’ll be ready.” 

Victor watches as Yuuri scurries out of the room. He dashes down the short hallway distance to his own room, slamming his door behind him. He presses his back to the door, pushing his pajama pants down immediately and grasping his still-hard cock. 

There’s a sudden relief in the touch. His knees give out and he slides down to the floor, jerking himself roughly. He’s right on the edge and he only has a couple minutes before he needs to get ready for practice. 

He wonders if Victor’s in the other room doing the same thing he is, or if he’s just trying to will it away. Yuuri can’t help but imagine Victor’s doing the same. He groans, throwing his head back against the door. He slides his thumb over the sensitive tip, shuddering at the dry touch. 

“Victor,” he says breathlessly, thinking of how the man might be touching himself. He remembers the hotness of Victor’s arousal against his ass. He recalls the way it felt when he ground his hips against it. 

He imagines the way Victor might have kissed his neck more, touched Yuuri more, gotten Yuuri off with swift, sure strokes of his hand, just like Yuuri’s doing right now. 

He bites his lip to keep from crying out too much - there’s no reason Victor should know how desperate Yuuri is for his contact. The muscles in his thighs jump in anticipation as he nears the edge. He wishes he had some kind of lubrication because his palm is rough and he’s so sensitive. 

He pulls his shirt up to bury his nose in it, catching the last of Victor’s scent caught in the fabric, and he cums. Hard. He gives a sharp gasp as the orgasm washes over him; his semen splattering on the floor between his legs. He’ll have to clean that up before Victor comes to get him for practice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo the big reveal. Alpha. I hope no one is too disappointed. Please let me know what you think. The best part is, now that Yuuri’s off his suppressants we can start getting into the kinkier stuff. It might start off slowly, but hopefully the next few chapters will start getting hot. 
> 
> Thank you again for all your kind words, they really do motivate me a lot. (Come chat with me on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com) as well, if that’s your jam.) Also, now that we know his gender, if you have any kinks you’d like to mention, now’s the time!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient with me. I’m sorry this is a day late coming out, but you know how the start of school is. Eek. I’m hoping that, if things don’t get too crazy, I can still get two chapters out a week.  
> Also, I just want to mention there’s a LOVELY piece of [fanart](http://alchemyandpenguinsledding.tumblr.com/post/155635577667/yuuri-victor-asks-its-not-that-he-seems-to) for the last chapter. It’s gorgeous. Please take a look.

After Yuuri’s finished cleaning up a little and getting dressed, he takes a second to compose himself and make his way back to Victor’s room. 

Victor isn’t there. He’s probably down the hall in the bathroom, then. Yuuri looks around the room for a moment, breathing in deeply, just barely able to make out the smell of both of them still lingering in the air. The mix of their smells, however faint, is comforting. 

He should probably go wait for Victor downstairs. He doesn’t want them to get distracted again and miss out on morning practice. 

He’s about to turn and grab socks from his room so he can head out, but he notices Victor’s pajama pants sitting on top of the duvet. He picks them up only because, even from beside the bed, he can tell they smell deeply of Victor. He resists the urge to sniff them because that might be rude (he tries not to think about what Victor and he just did because it’s a little hypocritical), but he can at least put them in the laundry, right? 

He tucks them under his arm and returns to his room to grab his socks. He drops Victor’s pants on the bed, fully meaning to put them into his laundry hamper. He gets his socks out, and just as he’s slipping them on, he hears Victor come back down the hallway. 

“Victor?” He asks, peeking out into the hallway. 

Victor’s just heading into his room, small towel wrapped around his waist. “I’ll be done in a second,” he says, smiling at Yuuri, “just needed a quick shower.”

Yuuri goes over to stand in the doorway of Victor’s room, watching as his coach drops the towel and pulls on underwear, sweats and a tshirt. Yuuri thinks it’s a shame that he has to cover up so much when the lines of his body are so stunning. 

Feeling emboldened by Victor’s reaction this morning, Yuuri stops him as they’re leaving. “Can I? Again?” He asks, pointing at his own neck. 

Victor looks a little startled, but tilts his head a little. “Anytime,” he says and Yuuri’s so very tempted to take him up on that offer. Once is enough for now, though, and he steps close and presses his nose to Victor’s neck again. His scent is very faint right now, probably because he just had a shower, but it’s still gives him that warm, comforting feeling. 

Yuuri pulls back, gives Victor a soft smile and says, “Should we go now then?”

Victor swallows noticeably and nods. 

Surprisingly, when they arrive at the Ice Castle, Yuko’s already there. It’s pretty early for her to be up, usually Victor and Yuuri let themselves in and she arrives an hour or two afterwards. 

“Did you want a flood before you go out?” Yuko asks, rolling her shoulders as they walk into the rink.   

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Victor says, peering at the ice. Last night’s flood seems to have cleared away most of the imperfections, but the ice could still use a bit of work. 

“Yeah, okay, give me ten to fifteen,” Yuko yawns, then heads to the back for the zamboni. 

Yuuri does some toe and calf stretches to try and loosen up the tight muscles in his feet as the zamboni roars to life. He sits on the bench, using it to help him stretch a bit as well. The run has him loose and limber, but now’s the time when he has to be especially careful not to tear anything. 

There’s something about the morning, with the first bits of golden sunlight streaming through the large windows, the crisp cold of the empty rink, the hum of the zamboni as it shaves and layers ice, and Victor standing patiently beside him, that makes him pleasantly calm. 

“How’re you feeling this morning?” Victor asks, placing a soft but cool hand on the back of Yuuri’s warm neck. He doesn’t even flinch at the touch. 

“Good,” Yuuri says, and he finds he really does mean it. 

“It doesn’t feel too weird being off your suppressants?” Victor asks. His thumb brushes past a spot right behind Yuuri’s ear that sends tingles all the way down to his kneecaps. 

“No. Not too weird,” he says. He’s noticing things more now, of course. Scents mostly. He’s also a little more aware of his own body too, but it’s just specific places, mostly erogenous zones. “You?” He asks. He doesn’t know how different things are for Alphas that go off suppressants, but he can probably assume after Victor’s display this morning that he’s feeling the effects. 

“Different,” Victor says slowly, “but not strange.” He moves his hand from Yuuri’s neck down his spine a little; a firm but gentle touch. 

Yuuri arches his back into Victor’s hand, making sure that Victor’s aware he’s touching him. Victor just keeps staring out at the new ice Yuko is making. Yuuri stays in the same position, repeating the stretches he’s already done, revelling in the light pressure of Victor’s hand. 

He points and flexes as Victor’s hand draws back up his spine to his neck again. But he doesn’t stop there. Yuuri has to bite back a contented moan when Victor’s fingers tangle in the back of his hair. Victor’s fingertips press against pressure points at the base of Yuuri’s skull. It feels heavenly. His eyes flutter closed and the fingertips inch up the back of his head. 

He doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath until he huffs it out when Victor’s hand moves back to his neck. The hand slowly withdraws and Yuuri mourns its loss for a moment before he realises that Yuko’s almost done with the flood and he should probably start lacing up. 

He takes his skates out of his duffle bag and almost immediately Victor’s hands are on his. “Let me,” he says and Yuuri's startled enough by the request that he immediately relinquishes his hold. 

He gapes as Victor kneels down, pulling the skates open by the tongue for Yuuri slide his foot in. He’s reverent in the way he caresses the boot to make sure Yuuri’s foot is in place, and he’s steady as he pulls the laces taut. Each tug, each tightening of the laces, each firm pull around the hooks, and Yuuri’s breath dissipates even more, sending a heat from his foot up his body. 

By the time Victor’s finished with Yuuri’s first foot, he’s not sure if he should be aroused or embarrassed that Victor’s being so attentive. 

Then he leans over even further to do up the second boot. He’s just as dutiful, tugging hard to secure Yuuri’s foot. Yuuri’s hand is trembling at his side; he wants to put them in Victor’s hair. It’s such an intimate gesture: the world-famous figure skater, Victor Nikiforov is on his knees, tying up his skates. 

Victor finishes off, but he doesn’t stand. He stays there, looking up Yuuri through thick lashes. Yuuri leans down a bit to meet him, their foreheads pressed together. “Victor,” he says, unsure of how to thank this man. He’s not sure what to thank him for either - everything? For being himself around Yuuri? For fitting into his life so perfectly? For paying attention to him in a way no one else has? 

“Yuuri! Victor!” Yuko calls out as she pulls the zamboni into the shed, hopping out to shovel the excess snow off the edge of the rink. “You’re good to go!”

Usually when interrupted, Yuuri would pull away, but almost nose to nose, Victor’s hands still resting on the laces of his right boot, Yuuri doesn't want to move. Victor hesitates too, waiting until Yuko’s finished shovelling until he pulls back. He taps the side of Yuuri’s boot. “Tight enough?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri says thickly, “It’s good.”

Victor runs his hand from Yuuri’s knee up the outside of his thigh almost to his hip. Then stands slowly, leaving Yuuri sitting there, staring at his coach, wondering what exactly is happening between them. It must be a product of the scenting this morning. 

Yuko’s hovering at the door to the rink, looking between them as Victor pulls out his own skates. 

“I ah, I hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” she says with a blush. “I’ll make sure you have some privacy, okay?”

Despite Yuko’s promise that they won’t be disturbed, Victor doesn’t make any comments about kinks today on the ice, nor does he act upon anything that might be hovering between them. He just delivers praise and criticism in equal doses. The criticism makes Yuuri work harder and the praise makes him pliant to Victor’s requests. 

By the time lunch rolls around and they’ve finished at the rink for the morning, Yuuri is craving Victor’s scent again. The cold air of the ice has been dampening both of their scents and he has this lonely feeling. He doesn’t dare ask again - he’d been too forward this morning. He doesn’t want Victor to feel obligated to bare his neck for Yuuri’s whims. 

Victor hands over the bento box Yuuri’s mother packed for them last night as they settle on the steps leading up to Hasetsu castle. “I know we set some hard limits,” Victor says as Yuuri begins to take a bite of the chicken from his lunch, “but what about spanking?”

Yuuri congratulates himself on not choking on his food. Of course Victor is going to continue to bring these things up at the most inopportune moments. He manages to chew and swallow before answering. “I haven’t tried much pain play,” Yuuri says honestly. 

“No?” Victor asks, chewing on his own lunch. “That’s a shame.”

“Do… do you like it?” Yuuri finds himself asking. Even if Victor did, Yuuri wouldn't even know where to start. 

Victor shrugs. “With the right person and the right preparation, yes.” 

“Would you, ah,” Yuuri coughs, face turning red, “would you like me to try?”

Victor does turn towards him then, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. “Well,” he drawls for a second but then says, “next week is about you, Yuuri. It's your heat. Don't worry about what I want.”

Yuuri frowns. That's not really fair. Victor is part of this heat too and he should be able to ask for what brings him pleasure. But even more selfishly, Yuuri wants his heat to be the best Victor has had. He wants for Victor to remember the week for the rest of his life. He wants for Victor’s next partner to pale in comparison to him. He wants Victor to look back on the week when he's old and grey(er) and remember it fondly. Yuuri wants to at least be that fleeting memory of passion in Victor’s life. 

“I'd like to try, maybe,” he says because he still isn't sure if he’ll enjoy it or not. He figures he might because, as a figure skater, you have to have some masochistic tendencies to put your body through that kind of torture day after day. 

“Stand up,” Victor asks, setting aside his lunch.

Yuuri does the same, cautiously standing up, resting a couple steps lower than where Victor is sitting. 

Victor raises his hand to Yuuri's hip-level and quirks an eyebrow, “can I try?” 

Yuuri blinks at him, glad that Victor has at least asked permission because Victor just slapping him might have really caught him off guard. Hell, Victor offering to slap his ass in public to see if he’s aroused by it is already edging close to some kind of line.

However, he wants it, or wants to  _ try _ it, and he's feeling more adventurous today than usual, even if that might just his hormones beginning to kick in. 

Still dreaming of making the upcoming heat week the best Victor could dream of, he finally says, “Okay.”

Not a moment after, Victor’s open palm smacks across his left butt cheek. He can’t help but jump, stumbling down a step. It stings, sure, even through the thicker material of his workout pants. He stares at Victor and Victor stares curiously back at him. 

His knee-jerk reaction is to say he doesn't like it. But when the surprises wears off, and the sharp tingle is replaced with a warm glow, he finds he doesn't hate it, and that, maybe with the sparkling eyes Victor has set on him, he might be alright with another one. 

“So?” Victor asks, looking like he’s holding back a grin. 

“F-” Yuuri stutters over the word, “Fine.” Victor does break into a grin then. 

A blush bursts across Yuuri’s face. He wants to turn away from Victor, but he also doesn’t want to put his ass back in Victor’s sights, otherwise he might get another slap - the repercussions of which he’s not really prepared to deal with in public. 

He sits gingerly back down beside Victor, the sting on his asscheek dissipating pretty quickly. 

“Well,” Victor says, picking up his lunch, but still watching Yuuri, “that was interesting.”

Interesting isn’t quite the word Yuuri would use, although it does fit. Slightly arousing is a better term. Eye-opening is another. Or maybe it’s just because it’s Victor that he enjoyed it. He’s not quite sure. 

“What about cock rings?” Victor asks next as he digs into the rice portion of his own lunch. 

Yuuri’s never going to be able eat at this rate. “For me or you?” He finds himself asking. 

Victor pauses, obviously surprised Yuuri’s asked that kind of question. “You, of course,” he says. 

“I haven’t used one before,” Yuuri mutters as he picks up his lunch to try and eat. He’s always thought he was a little adventurous in bed, but now that Victor’s asking all these questions, it seems like there’s a lot of things he hasn’t tried yet. That he’d like to. 

“You’re welcome to one of mine, if you want to try,” Victor suggests. 

Yuuri almost drops his cucumber slice. “I, ah, well,” he tries to find the words he wants, “I don’t think I’ll need one for my heat. I’m pretty sure the point of my heat is to orgasm as many times as possible.”

Victor lets out a laugh. “Okay, that’s true. If you ever want to borrow one, just to try, though…” he trails off with a wink. There’s no way that Yuuri would ever borrow one of Victor’s cock rings. He probably wouldn’t even get it on before it was all over. 

“What about you?” Yuuri asks, ducking his head down and looking intently at his lunch instead of Victor.

“Me?” Victor asks. “I mean, I guess? I don’t usually use them with partners,” he admits. 

“I, ah…” Yuuri hesitates to say anything, but Victor’s agreed to share his heat now, so he should probably mention it again. “I don’t know if you remember me saying this, but, I, um,” he tries to think of the best way to phrase it, “I have a quick refractory period?” 

He looks out the corner of his eye to Victor who’s biting his lip, giving Yuuri a once-over. “Well,”’ he says with a low voice. “I think I can handle that.”

Yuuri seriously doubts he can. “You could just… bring it anyway? For fun.”

“Yeah. I could do that,” Victor nods. He chews thoughtfully for a moment, letting Yuuri finally get to eating his own lunch before saying, “I could just bring all of my toys. You could look though and decide what you liked.”

Yuuri remembers the box beside Victor’s bed when they were looking through his own collection. He’d wondered what was inside. He’d been sure he might be privy to it that night. Up until Shoji had texted. 

They’ll probably have to talk about Victor’s jealousy over Shoji at some point, but he doesn’t want to ruin the light mood they’ve had all morning with a talk like that. 

“Are you almost done so we can head to the gym?” Victor asks, stashing away his empty lunch container in the duffle bag. 

Yuuri looks at his half-eaten lunch. He wants to finish, but Victor looks ready to go. “Tell me about one thing in your box, and I’ll finish this off,” he suggests. 

Victor brightens. “Just one thing?”

“One,” Yuuri says around a mouthful. He probably wouldn’t be able to handle Victor talking about all of his sex toys right now. There’s only so much public arousal he can handle in one day. 

“I have a vibrating plug,” Victor says. 

Yuuri has to concentrate on eating because otherwise he’d be gaping at Victor. Of course Victor would own something like that. And of course that’s the one he’d be telling Yuuri about. 

“It’s pretty small,” Victor says, holding his hand up to indicate the size. “But that just means I can use it any time I like without having to work up to a bigger one.” He nods and Yuuri swallows. 

“Do you… use it often?” Yuuri gets out, feeling ever so hot at the back of his neck. 

“While I’ve been here? No.” Victor admits. “It’s not safe to have in if you’re skating, so even back home it didn’t get a lot of use, unless it was day off. Although…” he pauses, putting a finger up to his lips. “I guess coaching would allow me to stay off the ice some days.”

Yuuri drops his chopsticks into the lunch box and snaps it shut, uncaring if there’s rice still left inside. Now that he’s thinking about Victor using something like that while standing in the Ice Castle and coaching him, he won’t be satisfied with anything else today, not even food. 

“Yuuri?” Victor asks all too innocently. 

“Let’s go,” he says. The only way he’s going to work off the warm feeling in his abdomen, in a way that’s not totally embarrassing in public, is working out. As they stand Victor gives him the lightest of taps on his ass, the same spot he slapped earlier, to get him going.

* * *

 

Victor, for what it’s worth, does almost all of Yuuri’s workouts with him. He’s probably got nervous energy to spare too. Or maybe he’s worried about his figure if he’s going to be stuck in a bed for a week. 

They arrive back home tired, and completely sweaty. 

“Yuuri, Victor, dear,” Hiroko says when she sees the two of them walk through the front doors on their way to the baths to get cleaned up. 

Yuuri does stop to talk to his mom, even if he is hot and desperately craving a cold shower. “Mmn, yeah Mom?”

Victor sidles up next to him and puts a light hand on Yuuri’s hip, just the barest of contact. 

“I don’t know if you’ve had time to think about it, what with all the training you’re doing,” she says, smiling at Victor too. “But while I was out shopping today I got you a box of those protein bars you always use for your heats,” she continues. “Oh, and a bunch of that juice as well, I’m sure the two of you will be very thirsty.” She gives them a little wink and Yuuri gets even hotter, if that’s possible. 

“Ah, thank you Hiroko,” Victor proclaims, “I’m sure Yuuri had forgotten about it.”

He hadn’t. It was just further down on his list than some other things. But he’s grateful to his mother. Although protein bars are not the most nutritious things you can eat for a week, they are non-perishable and they pack enough calories in a small amount that they’re good enough for their purpose. The drinks are just a bonus - they keep up blood sugar and are something besides water. 

“You should probably take them up to your room now, Yuuri,” his mother suggests, “before the patrons decide to take some.”

“Okay, thank you,” he says, leaning in to give her a light kiss on the cheek. Victor leans in to do the same not a moment afterwards. 

She giggles and pats Victor on the cheek before sauntering away back towards the kitchens. 

“Protein bars?” Victor asks, eying the box that Yuuri picks up. Victor takes the drinks. 

“Yeah,” Yuuri says as they make their way up to his room. “Sometimes you don’t have a lot of time between rounds, you know? It’s a fast way of getting a lot of food in at once. One minute you’re starving for food, the next you're starving for…. Well…” Yuuri shrugs.

“Mmmnnn,” Victor agrees. “Don’t they sell food supplements specifically for heats?” He asks. Yuuri assumes that that’s what Victor’s used in the past during the other heats he’s been part of. 

“They do,” he says, “but I don’t like the taste of them as much. Besides, they’re essentially over-priced protein bars.”

They dump the boxes on Yuuri’s desk. That’s one more thing off his list, thankfully. The main thing that still needs to be done is to clean his room. The bathroom has been scrubbed down, and now he needs to do the same with his room. There’s five years worth of accumulated scent in here. It’s not too noticeable yet, but soon it will become overpowering if his time off suppressants so far is anything to go by. 

Victor sits down on Yuuri’s bed, looking around the room. He’s been in here before, but not often. Yuuri’s secretly pleased that Victor’s sitting on his bed while sweaty and smelling more like Alpha than this morning. 

“It’s hot,” Victor complains after about five minutes of watching Yuuri do some tidying. He could have easily left for the showers minutes ago. 

“You can leave,” Yuuri says. Victor doesn’t need to help him with everything for his heat. He can do some cleaning alone. 

“Yuuuuri,” Victor whines to get his attention. 

Yuuri sighs, but walks over to Victor. Victor spreads his legs subtly and Yuuri steps between them, coming in close to Victor. 

“You must be hot too,” Victor says, looking up at him. 

“I suppose,” Yuuri says, looking down through his glasses at the man on his bed. 

“Off,” Victor tugs at the hem of Yuuri’s workout shirt. 

Yuuri wastes no time in stripping it off. He feels a little uncomfortable being the only shirtless one in the room, so he leans down a little, tugging at Victor’s shirt. “You too, then.”

Victor helps Yuuri take off his shirt. It goes onto the bed with Victor’s pajama pants that are still there from this morning. Victor’s eyes slide to them, but he doesn't say anything. Instead, he pulls Yuuri even closer between his legs with a light touch at the small of his back, then buries his nose into the still-soft part of Yuuri’s stomach, right at head level for him. 

He lets Victor nuzzle against his skin. Usually he’d be mortified if someone paid attention to the last of his weight, but Victor seems so happy. Yuuri must not be the only one craving more scent today. He touches the back of Victor’s head lightly, in a gesture he hopes expresses his permission for Victor to continue what he’s doing. 

He feels hotter than when he had his shirt on, but he won’t deny Victor the closeness they’re sharing right now. Victor breathes a contented sigh against Yuuri’s bellybutton. “You still smell so good, Yuuri,” Victor admits. His fingers settle right at the top of Yuuri’s waistband. 

Yuuri uses his hand on Victor’s neck to mimic the soft pressure Victor had used earlier today at the ice rink. He swears that each brush over the scent gland portion of Victor’s neck releases just a little more of his pheromones into the air. Even though Yuuri would rather be up close and personal with Victor’s neck, he’s happy just to let his room soak up as much of Victor’s scent as possible. 

“We should, ah,” Victor mumbles into Yuuri’s abdomen, “figure out a safeword. Now.”

Yuuri nods, even though he knows Victor can’t see him. 

“I was thinking,” Victor keeps going, “that during you heat, during sex, if it’s... like today. You can use the stop light colours. You know them?”

“Yeah, I know how they work,” Yuuri agrees. It’s what he’s used with all of his other partners - something safe, simple and almost universally known. Red for stop, yellow for discuss, and green for go. Easy.

“But, outside of sex, or even if you just want me to leave completely…” Victor trails off. 

Yuuri knows they need an overall safeword. If something becomes too much, even just cuddling between rounds, he needs a safe way of making sure Victor knows when to leave. It’s a last-resort because as soon as Yuuri banishes him, he won’t be able to return for the rest of his heat. It’s still a good failsafe to have in place. “Agape,” Yuuri says. 

Victor freezes against him for a moment. Then turns his head up to look at Yuuri. “Agape?”

“Yes.” Yuuri says. There are so many reasons to use that word, even beyond that it’s easy to recall. Firstly, it reminds him of Yurio, and in the context of sex that enough to make him grimace, but secondly, it’s definitely a word that he doesn't want to be using during his heat. He doesn’t want to talk about  _ Agape _ with Victor. Not when he’ll be vulnerable. If he’s only supposed to use it as a safeword, there’s no way it can be brought up in casual conversation. 

“Okay,” Victor agrees, relaxing a little against Yuuri’s stomach again. 

They stay like that for a little bit, Yuuri watching the way Victor’s head moves with each deep breath he takes. It’s not a hug, it’s more than friendly, and it’s not sexual per say, but it is intimate. Yuuri wonders where they go from here. It’s only going to get more intimate, isn't it?

Since they’ve talked about a couple kinks today and just decided on safewords, Yuuri dares to bring up the one topic he’s very curious about. He licks his lips nervously and his breath stutters. Victor looks up at him, noticing he’s gone a bit tense. 

“What… what about bonding?” He asks. He’s already made his position clear. He’s open to any kind of bonding Victor is willing to do. And now that he knows Victor is an Alpha, well, there are all sorts of options. One is much more desirable than the others. 

Victor blinks slowly at him. “Tomorrow, please,” he asks quietly, “just give me a day to think about it.” Yuuri can wait. He’s already been waiting years for Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be really long, but part way through writing it I realized it was too much all at once. So, I’m putting part of it with the next chapter. I hope that’s alright. But GOOD FUCKING LORD there’s some dirty stuff coming up, though. As always, please let me know if there's anything you think is missing, or that you really want to see coming up.  
> If you wanna keep in the know about when the next chapter might be out, come say hi on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com).


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stayed up way too late finishing this. If there are mistakes, please blame it on the coffee-induced haze I was in. 
> 
> Thank you again for all your lovely comments. They really help me stay focused and work hard to finished new chapters. I hope that I can get you the next chapter by Wednesday for a traditional YoI-type release. I’m hoping the next chapter will be just as shocking as episode 7.

Their shirtless embrace doesn’t last very long. It’s not because Yuuri doesn’t want it to last, it’s just that there are some smells in this room that are intruding on Victor and his scents, despite them being more potent because of the workout. One of them is a sweater that’s hanging off the back of his desk chair. The last time he’d worn it is when he went out with Akio. It needs to be washed. 

“Okay,” he says, pulling back reluctantly. “We should shower, and I should keep cleaning.”

“Probably,” Victor pulls back, blue eyes a little hazy. Yuuri backs away as he stands up. 

Victor gives him a small smile, gently pushing some of Yuuri’s hair back from his forehead and leaning in to press a kiss right above his glasses. “If you need help cleaning, let me know,” he says before winking at Yuuri as he leaves the bedroom. 

He doesn’t take his shirt or pants with him when he goes. 

The first thing Yuuri does after he hears Victor heading towards the showers is open up his closet and grab his laundry basket. He throws the offending sweater from his chair on top of the pile, slips on his slightly damp workout shirt for modesty, and makes for the door. 

His mother is actually in the laundry room when he gets there, taking sheets from the washer and putting them in the dryer. She would usually hang them to dry, but it’s a little too cold outside and there seems to already be laundry hanging on the lines over the small washing tub. 

“Yuuri, dear,” she says affectionately when he enters. “Do you have some washing to do? No worries, please leave it there, I’ll do it after this next load.”

He drops his laundry basket on top of the washer. He would usually prefer to do his own laundry - something he got used doing while living in Detroit - but if his mother is doing laundry for the onsen, then he doesn’t want to get in her way. “Thanks Mom,” he says, taking sheets from the basket in front of the washer and loading it up for her. 

“Strip those off too,” she says, pointing at his clothes. She pulls a fluffy robe off the drying rack and hands it to him.

Even though he usually feels more comfortable in full clothes, Yuuri doesn't argue and slips off what he has, keeping his underwear on, and ties the robe up around him. 

“Why don’t you go see if Vic-chan has any laundry?” She asks. 

“Sure, okay,” he agrees. It’s probably easier for her if she has full loads of both darks and lights. He gives his mother a quick smile before heading back up towards his room. 

Victor has already said he doesn’t mind if Yuuri goes into his room, but he still feels a little awkward snooping through Victor’s closets to find his laundry. He finds it in the second closet down on the right. Just underneath some sweaters that are hanging up. 

He resists the urge to sniff the sweaters. They’ll probably just smell like soap and suppressants, which will only be disappointing. He can even tell that the whatever’s in the laundry basket doesn’t smell like the Alpha scent Victor is now producing, just the neutral suppressant smell. But there’s still something uniquely spicy and reminiscent of Victor on them as well.

He gathers up Victor’s laundry and takes it with him.  

Dinner is subdued. Victor’s eyes keep flicking down to Yuuri’s neck. He must still be interested in Yuuri’s scent. Although they both enjoyed the scenting in the morning, he doesn’t do anything about it when they say goodnight, though, which disappoints Yuuri only a little.  He just receives another chaste kiss on the cheek as they part ways for the evening.

* * *

 

The next afternoon, after they’re finished training for the day, Victor and Yuuri set about doing a better clean of Yuuri’s room. The plan is to take non-essential items out of the room. Victor brings in some empty boxes he has stashed away from moving, suggesting they pack things up for the week and leave the boxes in his room. 

Ideally, Victor’s king-size bed would be better than Yuuri’s twin-size bed, but they ordered the scent blockers according to Yuuri’s room specs, not Victor’s, and there’s still the advantage of having the attached bathroom. It’ll be a tight squeeze for them, but not impossible. 

Yuuri notices when Victor pauses in his closet. They’re trying to move as much as they can out to get rid of any extra scents. That includes a lot of Yuuri’s clothes as well. He won’t need them during his heat, so as long as he has enough for the rest of the week, everything else can get packed away. 

“Yuuri…” Victor draws out. 

“Hm?” Yuuri asks from where he’s taking books off his desk. There’s nothing incriminating in his closet. He made sure to stealthily give all his old posters of Victor to Mari over a week ago for safe-keeping. 

“Is this… is this my laundry?” Victor asks tentatively. 

“What? No,” Yuuri denies, dropping a high school textbook into a box and walking over to Victor. 

But what Victor pulls out of the closet is definitely not Yuuri’s. Heat rushes to his face as he remembers taking Victor’s laundry, not to the washer yesterday like his mother had suggested, but to his own room instead. Crap. He’d almost forgotten how intense his nesting habits can be. 

His last heat in this house he’d ended up with a roomful of his family’s clothes. Baring a heat mate, Omegas usually nest with things that smell familiar, which is usually family-related at young ages. He’s always been terrible at noticing when he takes things because it’s such an innate urge that it doesn’t require much conscious thought. 

Victor’s eyes move from the full laundry basket to the pajama pants and shirt left on Yuuri’s bed. He hadn’t moved them any further than the foot of the bed last night. 

He’s about to apologise and tell Victor he can have his things back, when Victor bursts into a full smile. “Yuuri! Are you nesting?” he asks, eyes glittering with excitement at him across the room. 

“Oh, ah, yes. I suppose?” Yuuri admits, blush high on his cheeks. 

“Even after such a short time off your suppressants. And you’ve accumulated so much,” Victor coos. 

Yuuri hardly thinks it’s a large pile - it hadn’t been much effort to just take a whole laundry basket. “You can take them back,” he does end up saying. 

“No, no. I wouldn’t dream of taking things away from you,” Victor says, still smiling. “Here!” he exclaims, stripping his shirt off right away. He hands it to Yuuri who stares at the red fabric in his hand. “Have this too. I’ll go put on another shirt and then you can have that one when I go to bed at the end of the night as well.”

Yuuri clutches the shirt to his chest, smiling stupidly at Victor. 

Victor doesn’t care. He doesn’t mind that Yuuri’s beginning to hoard his things. He’s encouraging it, even. His heart bursts with tenderness and excitement. He’s never had the freedom to nest like this before. More importantly, he’s never been offered something to nest with like this before. 

“I’ll be right back,” Victor tells him, dashing out of the room to go grab a new shirt for himself. 

For the few seconds he’s gone, Yuuri allows himself to press Victor’s offered shirt against his nose and breathe in the smell. It’s that same scent from yesterday morning, just as strong as then too. He insides clench, reminding him what it all means. Victor wants him for his heat.  _ Actually _ wants him. 

Victor comes back into the room just as Yuuri’s stashing the shirt under his pillow. Yuuri’s blush only increases at the smile Victor gives him, but he doesn’t move the shirt, just makes sure his pillow is covering it. 

“Here,” have these too, “Victor says, holding out the slacks he was wearing today. He’s dressed in sweatpants and a new loose tshirt. The striped blue one that Yuuri’s always liked. 

Yuuri hesitantly takes the pants as well and Victor just smiles wider as Yuuri stashes them under his pillow too. 

“I’ll just keep cleaning your closet,” Victor says, walking back over to the far side of the room. “But I won’t pack my laundry up with your things. You can keep all of it.”

Yuuri hopes that having it in his room will help the small area to smell more like Victor. 

It only takes a couple hours to clear out his room, leaving it looking pretty bare, but with less of a scent than before. That’s all Yuuri wanted. He even finds a place with sunlight downstairs for his cactus plant.

* * *

 

After supper, Yuuri somehow ends up in Victor’s lap. It's not as if he does it on purpose. 

He'd started just sitting beside Victor, eating a noodle dish his mother had made. Victor’s the one who shuffles closer so he can pick out the daikon he isn't overly fond of and give the pieces to Yuuri. 

Victor is also the one to put his arm around Yuuri's waist after they’re done eating. Yuuri's just following his lead when he leans his head into Victor's shoulder. 

It doesn’t take much for Victor to shift, pulling his leg up close to his body as he pulls Yuuri to the side, slipping his leg back down after they’ve fitted themselves together so Yuuri’s situated in between Victor’s legs, back pressed against Victor’s front. 

There’re only a couple of patrons in the dining room with them and they don’t seem to mind, or even notice, how close the two are. Victor’s arms wraps around Yuuri’s waist, holding him close. 

Yuuri does his best to translate the main points of the news they’re watching into quiet, stilted English. He doubts he’s ever had this much contact with someone outside of his heat ever. He’s usually not a physical person. Even with his family, he’d rather their affection be said through words instead of touches. 

With Victor, it seems different. Victor is quite obviously the opposite of Yuuri - he revels in physical contact. Ever since he arrived in Japan he’s been close to Yuuri, touching him at every opportunity. And although Yuuri had first shied away from those touches, they’ve become part of normal life; at least to the point that he doesn’t flinch away anymore. They can now sit there, cuddled together, without Yuuri feeling trapped.

And if that isn’t a giant leap of faith for him, he doesn't know what is. 

Victor’s so close, probably trying to subtly scent him because his nose is right by Yuuri’s ear - his hot exhales tickle the fine hairs right at the nape of his neck. 

He hesitates only for a moment before he places a hand on top of Victor’s hand that’s around his waist. Victor just squeezes him tighter to his chest. 

After about 20 minutes, Victor makes a little sighing noise. He’s probably been thinking about things other than Yuuri’s half-hearted translations of the news. 

“What is it?” Yuuri asks. 

It takes a moment for Victor to respond. “You had all those meetings with heat partners,” Victor says quietly, “but you still haven’t asked to have one with me.”

“Huh?” Yuuri says turning slightly to look at him. 

Victor’s looking down at him with bright blue eyes. Yuuri’s so used to him smiling that the small divot between his eyebrows stands out right away. 

He twists immediately in Victor’s grip, breaking their contact so he can look at him straight on. Victor isn’t frowning, per say, but it’s not a happy expression. 

“You went out on dates with the professionals,” Victor says, that little frown line still creasing between his eyebrows, “but we haven’t.”

Yuuri shifts, putting his weight onto his knees, kneeling between Victor’s legs. “Are you,” he pauses, his heart skipping a beat, “asking to go on a date?”

“Hmm? No.” Victor hums, his face still tight. “I just… not that you can change your mind now, but you’re sure that you didn’t want one of the professionals?”

“No,” Yuuri says, sitting back on his heels. He ignores the twinge of hurt knowing Victor doesn’t want to go out on a date with him. 

He could allay all of Victor’s fear by just telling him that after all this planning together his body isn’t going to be happy with anyone but Victor. He could tell Victor that he’s been yearning for him to share his heat for almost a decade now. But any of those options just expose him a little too much. 

“I want you.” Yuuri says, “I didn’t ask for a heat meeting because I didn’t think we needed one. We’ve already talked about a lot of things.”

“Okay,” Victor says, but the way he moves his legs from around Yuuri to crossed in front of him screams that he’s closing himself off. 

Yuuri grits his teeth because this morning had been so perfect, and now that feeling is slipping through his fingers. “But if you want to, we can.” He says. There’s no harm in it, really. They’ve already agreed to share Yuuri’s heat. They’ve already talked about kinks. What’s a heat meeting between them now? “We can go grab some coffee,” he suggests. 

“It’s too late for coffee,” Victor says, “you’d be up all night if you drank some now.” 

Yuuri sighs, but he’s feeling better because the frown lines have disappeared from Victor’s face. “Tea, then.”

“Okay!” Victor says, leaning forward a little, towards Yuuri, his eyes sparkling. 

Yuuri huffs, smiling. “Just let me get some,” he stands up, realising that Victor wants to do this  _ now. _

It takes him only a few minutes to get hot water and start brewing some genmaicha. He sits across from Victor at one the tables with a full teapot and cups. Victor takes one of the empty cups and taps it on the table lightly. 

“I’ve never done one of these before,” Victor says. “The omegas I spent heats with just told me their boundaries beforehand, had me sign a contract, and that was it.”

“They didn’t even ask about  _ your _ boundaries?” Yuuri asks, frowning. Even though the Omega is in charge of a heat, their partners also have to feel comfortable. 

Victor shrugs. “I’m kind of…  _ into _ a lot of things. I just don’t have the same kind of boundaries as anyone I slept with. Whatever they had put down always covered mine as well.”

Yuuri’s been aware of Victor’s ‘bachelor’ and ‘heartthrob’ titles for a long time. He’s under no delusions that Victor’s been with many more partners than Yuuri has; he’s read the tabloids, seen the pictures, heard the skating-forum rumours. But the fact that Victor’s heat knowledge is so lacking while he’s so well-versed in other areas is a bit of a surprise. “Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discuss it,” Yuuri mumbles, but Victor doesn’t seem to notice. 

“What were some of the things that guy, what was his name? Munch? Mabel? Marty?”

“Mark?” Yuuri suggests. That’s the only heat partner that Victor met. 

“Mark, right,” Victor continues, “what were some of the things on his paper that he asked?”

“Well, he started off by asking when my heat was. I think you know that already,” Yuuri says, staring across the table at Victor. The only reason he’s allowing them to have a conversation like this out in the open is because they’re both speaking English and anyone here, including his family, would probably have trouble understanding them. 

“This is your third day off suppressants, so it should only be a three or four more days until your heat starts,” Victor counts on his fingers. 

Yuuri knows the date is coming close. It’s intimidating to know it’s only a few days away, and that in such a short period of time he’ll have Victor’s dick inside of him. 

“Oh! I remember,” Victor says brightly, “What do you want from your heat?”

Yuuri licks his lips. There’s a great many things he wants from his heat. The main thing being fantastic sex with the man in front of him. Even if they just stick to missionary position and fuck the same way through the entire week Yuuri will probably be happy. 

He does hope, however, they get to be adventurous. He hopes they can laugh in bed, just like they laugh on the ice. He wants them to be comfortable with each other. He wants them to both enjoy the experience. He wants Victor to have more orgasms than he’s ever had in his entire life. He wants to ruin him. 

Instead, Yuuri settles on saying, “I want to be comfortable,” because that’s the best way he can sum things up.

“Comfortable?” Victor questions. 

“I don’t want it to be awkward between us,” Yuuri says, watching the way Victor’s fingers fidget with his empty cup. “I want to try things with you and laugh if they don’t work out.” He doesn’t want Victor to fuck him like it’s his job.  

“Oh.” Victor blinks at him. “I want that too.”

“I also want really good sex,” Yuuri can’t stop himself from saying as well. 

Victor laughs at that. “Yes, I think that’s a given.”

Yuuri already knows that the sex is going to be good. It’s Victor. And even if he’s half as focussed on Yuuri as he is while coaching, even if he gives half the praise he usually does, even if he touches him half as much, Yuuri will still be crazy with lust. “I think the next thing he asked was ‘how can I achieve those goals for you’,” Yuuri prompts. 

“This is the part where I talk about my stats, then?” Victor asks. 

Yuuri wasn’t expecting that. He was expecting to tell Victor exactly what he wanted during his heat: knotting. But he’s happy to hear Victor’s ‘stats’ anyway. He’ll try his best not to compare to the professionals. “If you want to, go ahead,” Yuuri says nonchalantly, checking the teapot to make sure the tea is brewed enough to serve. 

“Well, my penis is just over eight inches when erect,” Victor says right away.

Yuuri almost splashes the tea he’s trying to pour. The average Beta and Omega is about five inches and the average Alpha is usually around seven and a half. Victor’s got about two inches on Yuuri. His mouth almost waters at the thought of finally seeing it. “That’s… a decent size,” Yuuri manages to say without stuttering. He also manages to calmly pour the tea into both their mugs. 

“Did you want to see a picture?” Victor asks. 

“A what?” Yuuri places the teapot down on the table. Victor isn’t suggesting he’s going to show Yuuri nudes, is he?

“A picture. Of my dick. It’s actually quite nice.” Victor looks serious. “Erect, of course. You’ve seen me naked before.”

Yuuri has seen Victor naked on more than one occasion, usually in the onsen. He’s always tried to keep from staring, but he does know the general shape and colour of Victor’s flaccid penis. But aroused it would look different. 

He hesitates. On one hand, it’s embarrassing to think Victor might show him a dick pic, right here, in his house. That he even has a dick pic on his phone is another matter entirely too. Part of him wants to say ‘no’ because that’s just not something they do. But, at the same time, it’s only a matter of days before he sees it in person - before he has it inside him, so it shouldn’t matter if he gets a preview now. “Okay,” he says finally.

“Great.” Victor digs his phone out of his pocket. “Give me a sec,” he says, scrolling through his photos, “I took it the other day, so it shouldn’t be hard to find.”

“The other day?” Yuuri says weakly. The implications of that roll around in his head. Victor had been aroused recently. As in, here. In Yuuri’s home. With Yuuri nearby. 

“Yeah, I thought maybe you might like to see it, so I took a picture.” Victor says it as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. 

He took the picture for Yuuri? He was hard and thinking about how Yuuri might like to see his dick? Yuuri’s brain short-circuits, and he’s left just blinking at Victor. 

“Oh, here it is,” he says, handing his phone over across the table. Yuuri takes it gently. 

There, on the screen, is Victor’s dick. The full eight inches. Victor’s thumb and first two fingers wrapped around the base next to neatly trimmed silver pubic hair. It’s mostly pale, just like Victor’s alabaster skin, but the head is flushed a lovely shade of pink. It looks wide and full, slanted just barely to the right. It’s gorgeous. 

Yuuri can’t help but lick his lips. Although usually his sexual appetite mostly appears during his heat, the only thing he’s found himself really craving outside of it is wrapping his lips around a dick. It’s something he enjoys, apparently. And Victor’s looks so inviting. 

“Do you like it?” Victor asks. He has a light flush over the tops of his cheeks, similar to the flush that’s gracing the head of his penis. 

“It’s nice. I’m looking forward to it,” Yuuri says, handing his phone back. It’s better than saying he can’t wait to have it in his mouth. It’s even better than asking to look in-person right now. 

Victor practically preens at the praise. “Oh, I’m glad you like it. But it’s not just about looks; it’s about how you use it. I think I mentioned before that I’ve never needed toys to help Omegas through their heats before.”

That’s still something that Yuuri finds both strange and horribly arousing. If he’s that good at bringing someone to orgasm on his own, he’d only be better with help. 

“My longest session, if you’re not counting my partner's orgasms, would be two hours. The last male heat partner I was with, I managed to help them get to fifteen orgasms in a day. And even recently, my refractory time is still good: four in one hour.” Yuuri has to admit, those are some pretty good numbers. Not quite as impressive as some of the professionals he looked at, but that’s to be expected. 

Although he could talk about Victor’s stats, there’s something he needs to ask now. While they’re still on the topic and he has the willpower to say it. “What about your knot?”

“My knot?” Victor repeats. 

One of the reasons Yuuri had been so adamant to try sex with an Alpha was knotting. And now that he knows Victor is one, he’s hoping he’ll get what he wants. It won’t necessarily happen, though because Alphas can usually control their knots well enough. As long as they’re aroused enough, an Alpha can pop a knot when they want. However, if they don’t want to knot their partner, it’s easily held back. Only the young, inexperienced Alphas have trouble controlling when they knot. If Victor doesn’t want to knot him, Yuuri can’t force him. 

“It’s not something I do with casual hook ups,” Victor says honestly. It makes sense - if he’s been so hushed about his secondary gender, then he wouldn’t risk it by showing a knot to a one night stand. “But I’ve enjoyed it with heat partners, of course.”

Yuuri wants desperately to ask if he might fall into that category too. He can’t see why he wouldn’t - he already knows Victor’s secondary gender and he’ll be in heat. But Yuuri can’t just assume. 

“Did you want me to knot?” Victor is good enough to ask what Yuuri wants to know. “I’d been assuming you did because you were focussed on Alpha heat partners.”

“Yes. I’d… I’d like that. A lot.” Yuuri nods. He’s never had a real knot in him before, and now that he’s seen Victor’s dick, he can hardly wait to have it in him. He has to take a sip of his tea, which is probably still too hot, to distract himself from the arousal that’s growing in his pants. 

“This will be my first heat off suppressants, so I should be able to knot more easily,” Victor says, thinking about it. 

Yuuri nods in response; he had almost forgotten that this would be the first heat Victor had spent off his suppressants. He wonders if Victor’s stamina will change at all with the added Alpha hormones running through his system. 

“So, well, you want to be knotted,” Victor confirms again, “but is there anything else you’d really like to try?”

“We can do things you like too,” Yuuri deflects. They’ve already talked about some kinks, but he’s not willing to run through all of them tonight. 

Victor smiles softly at him, like Yuuri’s just said something no one else really has. “Honestly, Yuuri, I will be happy with anything you decide. If you prefer a slow pace, or even if you prefer a fast pace, I don’t care. If you would rather use the toys you ordered instead of myself, that’s fine. If you want to experiment with a few things, or even if you just want to stick to normal sex, either is good. I just want to see your Eros.”

“Okay,” Yuuri agrees. It’s nice to know that Victor is feeling the same way he is. That it’ll be gone, not because of what they do, but because of who it’s with. “But for the record, I like a little rougher pace usually, I want to try toys, but there’s a reason you’re sharing my heat, so I want most orgasms from you, and yes, I’d like to experiment.”

It’s Victor’s turn to hide his blush behind his tea. He practically downs the whole cup, his eyes dilated in the soft light of the dining room. 

“You’ll tell me if there’s something you really want to try, though, won’t you?” Yuuri asks anyway. “I’m not as experienced as you, so please teach me new things by showing me what you enjoy.”

Victor sets down his small, empty cup and pours himself another. He looks pensive, as if he hasn’t considered Yuuri’s statement before. “You… want me to take the lead?” He asks slowly. 

“I’d rather it be a mutual experience,” Yuuri clarifies. He already knows there will times he’s very demanding, but he also wants Victor to introduce him to new things. 

“Okay,” Victor nods. It seems to be a reoccurring theme for them - meeting each other halfway. “I guess we should continue with the questions, then,” Victor says, “how about… favourite way to be pleasured?”

“I feel like you already know the answer to that question because of the meeting with Mark,” Yuuri says frankly. “There’s only one more question we should address.”

“Bonding,” Victor says. He already knows where Yuuri was heading. 

Yuuri’s been waiting all day for the topic to come up. Victor had asked him yesterday to leave it until today. He doesn't want to pressure Victor into an answer, but he would like to know if it’s going to be possible. “You already know what I want,” Yuuri reminds him. 

Victor glances over at the few people that are left in the dining room, all on the far side from where the two of them are sitting. It looks like Victor’s looking for an excuse to leave, but there’s no one around them to interrupt. 

“Have you bonded before?” Victor finally asks, eyes slipping back to Yuuri’s face. 

Yuuri pushes his glasses up his nose in a self-conscious habit. “Yes,” he admits. “Last heat, I did. I’d wanted to try it for a while, so I asked Phichit. He was fine with it, so, he gave me a bond bite. Just one. On the third day. It lasted about 48 hours.”

“What kind was it?” Victor asks. 

“Well, since Phichit’s a Beta, it was just one way. He didn’t mind that I become attached to him.” Yuuri tells him. He remembers Victor’s reaction to Yuuri’s suggestion of calling Phichit to share his heat and wonders if Victor was jealous. Either way, he feels he needs to explain to Victor that he has experienced bonding and enjoyed it. 

“But you’ve never had a two-way bond,” Victor asks, leaning on the table. The space didn’t feel quite so much like a physical barrier in their conversation before this, but now Victor seems much more reserved about the topic. Yuuri really should have been sitting close to him for this. Maybe his scent might have been able to tempt Victor into just agreeing. 

“No. Never a two-way bond. I haven’t been with an Alpha that could.”

“I have,” Victor offers. “With Chris Giacometti. You’ve met him, I’m sure.”

Yuuri has met Chris. The man’s a force of sexual nature. “I have,” he agrees. He’s almost not surprised Victor has slept with him. They’ve shared some pretty racy instagram pics before. He has a few seconds to wonder if maybe the reason that Victor has been so hesitant over sharing Yuuri’s heat and potentially bonding with him is because Victor’s caught up with unreciprocated feelings for the Swiss skater. 

“Chris and I are like you and Phichit,” Victor explains before Yuuri can take that thought any further. His index finger taps at his lips as he tries to think of a way to explain their relationship to Yuuri. “He’s an Omega, like you, actually.”

“I know,” Yuuri says. Chris has actually been very open about his sexuality, owning up to it in interviews and trying to play off it in routines. He admires him for being so bold about it, although he’s still a little weirded out by how much Chris plays up his sex appeal. 

“He asked me, as a friend, to share his heat a few years back. He was a little desperate too, sort of like you were, to find someone for over the Christmas holidays. I couldn’t refuse.”

“Wait,” Yuuri stops him. He wants to know about the bonding part of their relationship, but something’s bothering him about this whole scenario. “You shared a heat with Chris and you didn’t use toys?” That’s the thing that makes all of this just a little unbelievable. 

Victor barks out a laugh at that. “Surprising, isn’t it? But Chris is more subdued during his heats. He tends towards a more traditional approach during them. Which is funny because outside of heats he’s wild.”

“You’ve had sex with him outside of a heat,” Yuuri picks up on that. 

“Of course. We’re friends. Things like that sometimes happen, you know?” Victor gives him a pointed look. 

It might be possible, then, that Yuuri could have sex with Victor outside of his heat as well. Maybe if he just asked now… no. The sex Chris and Victor had was probably due to a drunken experience or a want for experimentation, not the deep-seated lust that Yuuri’s feeling. It would be different coming from Yuuri, and not just because he’s unsure if he can call Victor a ‘friend’. 

Victor waits for Yuuri to comment, but when he gets only silence, he continues back to the topic. “Chris likes being bonded to his partner during heat, and I was curious, so we tried.”

“How was it?” Yuuri asks. He knows that sometimes people can go through bond-withdrawal, even if they’ve only bonded once. It hadn’t happened with to Yuuri with Phichit, but that doesn't mean it didn’t happen to Victor. 

“It was fine. Good.” Victor says. “We were both happy we’d done it afterwards.”

“Then why are you so hesitant with me?” Yuuri asks. He’s dreading the answer. If Victor was willing to do it with his friend, but not with Yuuri, what does that mean for the type of relationship they have. 

“Two-way bonding is a lot more intense than just a one-way bond,” Victor tells him. “I’m just not sure if you know it’s something you really want.”

Yuuri prickles a little because how dare Victor assume he doesn’t actually know what he wants. “I’m fine with it,” he says forcefully

Victor ignores him. “You know that feeling in a one-way bond,” he starts to explain, “where you can feel your partner's base emotions?”

Yuuri does know. Bonding is one of those things that science is still unsure about. It’s been studied extensively for decades, and while some of the mechanisms are known, the reason why a bonded person can seemingly tap into their partner's feelings, and only their partners feelings, even without reciprocal bonding, is still being debated in the scientific community. 

Gossip magazines regularly have columns on what certain bond feelings mean about significant others. There’s a plethora of stories about people learning about their partner’s infidelity through bond alone. There are even accounts of polyamorous bonds. It doesn’t seem as if the gender of the partner affects the bond at all, and neither the distance of the pair. But, if it’s a one-way bond, only the bitten one can feel it. 

Yuuri’s quiet for too long, so Victor just keeps going, “when you bond with someone, and they bond with you, anything you feel, your partner feels. But since you can feel what your partner does, you can almost feel your own emotions being echoed back to you? It’s like a continuous feed-back loop. It can be… overwhelming.”

Yuuri had heard that two-way bonds were far more intense than one-way ones. But he didn’t expect it to be explained like that. He didn’t know that emotions could be compounded. 

Part of him is still very keen to try. It had been nice to feel the arousal and affection Phichit had felt during his last heat. If he can feel that from Victor, and also feel how his own emotions affect Victor through a bond, it could end up being extremely hot. 

But at the same time, if it’s only going to display his feelings, make them more intense, then he’s not sure if he should risk showing how deeply he feels for Victor. In the end, though, his desire to be as close as possible to Victor wins out. “I don’t care,” he says. “I’m okay with it.”

“I thought you might like to just try a one-way bond.” Victor tries instead. “Where I give you a bond bite. If you like the feeling and it helps control your heat, then it’s worth it, right?” Victor suggests, looking a little hopeful. 

Yuuri does want that. But he wants more than just that. He’s tried one-way bonding before and although it had been great for him, he had really wanted Phichit to be a part of it too.

“Or,” Victor continues, “if you would rather not know what I’m feeling, I’d be happy to take your bond bite. I’d be able to please you better, learning through the bond what you liked and disliked.”

“Why can’t we have both?” Yuuri asks, confused. Both ways sound like the best option for them. It doesn’t make sense to limit themselves to a one-way bond. “If you don’t want it, just say so.” He pouts, glaring across the table at Victor. 

“It’s not that I don’t want it,” Victor says sincerely. “I just don’t know if I’m ready for something that intense. We’ve never had sex before, never bonded before, so I don’t know how we’ll react. If it’s too overwhelming, then spending two to three days like that during your heat is not something you want to do.”

Yuuri can see the logic in it, of course he can, but all he’s feeling right now is like Victor’s completely rejecting the idea of a reciprocal bond, which in a way feels like he’s rejecting Yuuri. “If that’s all it is,” he argues. “Then bond with me on the first day. We’ll have had a lot of sex by the time that bond’s worn off, and then after that we can try a two-way one.”

“Yuuri,” Victor chides. “It’s something I think I’d rather decide during the week. Sometimes you can’t plan for everything. We don’t have to rush into it, just wait to see how your heat goes first.”

Yuuri stares into his tea cup, still upset, but knowing he can’t argue or force Victor to change his mind. “Fine,” he says eventually. A one-way bond is still better than nothing, he supposes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was surprisingly less sexy than I thought it was going to be. Yuuri was originally going to be sitting in Victor’s lap, just like the scenting scene in the other chapter, for their bonding talk, but I’m actually kind of glad they had a bit of distance between them. 
> 
> Seeing comments from you guys is the highlight of my day, so I’d love to hear what your favourite part of this chapter was. Was it the nesting? Victor’s dick? Their talk about knotting? Bonding? 
> 
> Please brace yourselves for next two chapters, though. If you want teasers before the chapter, come visit me on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com).


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments on the last chapter - you inspired me to work hard to get this chapter to you as quickly as I could. (I promise to reply when I get a chance.) However, it might be a while before I update next (I have to do some work on my thesis), so I made sure this was a longer chapter to tide you over. I really hope you like this chapter.

“Rimming?” Victor asks just as Yuuri’s taking a drink of his protein shake after running to the Ice Castle on the morning of his fourth day off suppressants. 

He’s completely unprepared for it and ends up spitting out most of the mouthful. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “What?” He coughs. 

“Rimming. Do you like it or not?” Victor asks, sipping from his own drink. “It would be a shame if you didn’t.  See, I quite enjoy performing it.”

Yuuri stares at him open-mouthed. Only one of his partners, Mark, had ever given him that pleasure. And yet, here’s Victor, offering it up nonchalantly. Even Shoji hadn’t offered like that. He tries to play it composed because there’s no reason for Victor to know how exciting the prospect is. 

“Yeah?” He says, but it comes out dark and husky. Yuuri knows Victor’s heard the tone by the smirk that slides onto his face. 

“Mmnn,” Victor agrees. “Yeah, one of my favourites. Something I should make sure to do, then?”

“Probably,” Yuuri says, pushing his glasses up his nose.  

“Something you might get excited for?” Victor reiterates, raising an eyebrow. He’s testing Yuuri, trying to see how riled up he can make him. 

“Maybe,” he tries to sound calm again, but the deep tone that comes out betrays the lust he’s feeling. 

“I've been told I have a  _ very  _ talented tongue,” Victor says, eyes half lidded in a seductive gaze aimed right at Yuuri 

Yuuri can't help the little whimper that escapes his lips. Victor just looks pleased. 

“Ah, practice time?” Yuuri tries to deflect, “should we- uh, practice. Yeah.” He stumbles off in the direction of the rink, dazed and just a little turned on.

* * *

 

“How rough am I allowed to be?” Victor asks as Yuuri’s tying up his skates. 

“Huh?” He asks looking up at him with wide eyes. He’s still daydreaming about rimming, if he’s being honest.

Victor turns from looking out at the ice to looking at Yuuri instead. “During your heat. Am I allowed to fuck you really hard? Or should I hold back?”

Yuuri stares up at him, laces slipping out of his loose grip. “I'm sorry,” he can hear himself say, “I still think I don't understand.” It's almost like an out of body experience. His ears are ringing and his body feels light. 

“Do you like to be fucked hard and fast? Or sweet?” Victor asks again. It's meant to be clarification, but Yuuri's struggling between being aroused and confused. “Because we will have some tender moments, I'm sure, I'm just wondering how rough I can get other times.”

“Rough,” Yuuri repeats the word, trying to grasp the meaning. Finally, as he registers that Victor IS talking about fucking him in a few days time. He unfreezes and gathers up his laces again, tugging his skates tight. “I do like it hard and fast,” he agrees. “I'm not fragile, by any means, so be as rough as you want. I'll tell you if it's too much.” He finishes tying his skates and sits back for a second to meet Victor’s gaze. “But I've never had that problem before,” Yuuri adds, slipping off his skate guards. 

Victor bites his bottom lip, eyes dark, as Yuuri steps out onto the ice.

* * *

 

“Yuuri,” Victor says as he skates past him halfway through their on-ice practice. 

Yuuri spins, gliding towards Victor, expecting for the man to tell him his form is off or explain how his spin is ‘lacking dedication’ (his words, not Yuuri’s), but instead, Victor gives him this half-smirk. 

“Victor?” Yuuri asks, a little worried. 

Victor cocks his hip to one side, resting a hand on it. “During your heat, would you mind terribly if I came on you?”

Yuuri’s toe pick catches on a divot in the ice and he almost falls face first, catching himself by bracing his hands on Victor’s chest. “You-” Yuuri tries to ask why. He does. But he’s almost afraid to know the reason. 

“It’s fine if you don’t,” Victor says, wrapping strong hands around Yuuri’s biceps and helping to straighten him, “but your scent, Yuuri. It’s so lovely. I’d just like to rub myself all over you and see what we smell like together.”

And there’s the reason. Even better than he’d hoped for. He really wouldn’t mind that; Victor’s scent and his mingling. Victor already smells so good, that combined with him, they’d probably smell amazing. He licks his lips at the thought and Victor’s eyes dart down to them.

He pushes away from Victor because if he stays that close for too long, he’s pretty sure he won’t be able to move away. And he’s just not sure how their relationship will handle intimacy outside of heat. He’s not going to push his luck.

* * *

 

Victor’s standing over him, watching as Yuuri start on his third rep of 25 crunches. Having run through the first two sets quickly, he’s breathing a little hard, which is probably prompts it. 

“Ahh, Yuuri, have you ever thought about erotic asphyxiation?” Victor asks, pretending to be unconcerned with the answer by casually looking through his phone. 

Yuuri has the wherewithal to keep going with his workout. It buys him a little time to think. 

He pauses at the end of the set, laying down, looking up at Victor. “It depends,” he says. “I don't know if I'd be comfortable if I was close to passing out, but it's not like I'm a stranger to feeling breathless.” 

“So maybe not asphyxiation, but domination?” Victor suggests. 

That is a distinction Yuuri understands, even though he finds hard to put it into words. “Maybe only once, to try?” Yuuri suggests. Because as interested as he is in attempting the things Victor is suggesting, and probably enjoys himself, he doesn’t really want to spend his entire heat like that either. 

“Deal,” Victor nods and Yuuri goes back to his next set.

* * *

 

Yuuri thinks he's ready for Victors next question as they're walking back to the onsen. 

“Hey, Yuuri,” Victor starts, “would you like me to blindfold you? Maybe while you're handcuffed?” 

It's a little less risque than he was expecting, so for once he actually feels confident enough to answer. “Well, I already said handcuffs were alright. And I'm fine with the blindfold too.” He knows that using both at the same time will require a large amount of trust. He dreads being tied up and left alone; he knows it wouldn’t happen during a heat anyway because they’re both locked in, but there’s always that little bit of anxiety that goes with it. However, Victor has his full trust. Yuuri’s trusted him this far: in coaching and in life. In bed is no more than a small step for him. 

“What about the other way around?” Victor asks, voice softer because he's turned away, looking out towards the ocean instead of Yuuri. 

Yuuri's confused for a moment because he's imagining blindfolds on his hands, but then it clicks. Victor is finally asking for something he wants. It’s not actually about what Yuuri might want, even if the question was phrased that way. 

He's careful with his words to make sure Victor understands that part of what he wants this heat is to give Victor pleasure. “I’d very much enjoy that. Having you at my mercy would be a nice change of pace. Something I think we'd both enjoy.” 

Victor turns to him, face excited, the tiniest of pink gracing his cheeks. “Perfect,” he says. “I can't wait to see how you look in control. I wonder if it will be your Eros, or if it's something different,” he muses. 

Yuuri hopes he'll find it easier to put on a sexy persona if Victor is blindfolded. He's sure that, even though it might be pleasurable, it also had the potential to be highly embarrassing. 

They're nearly home when Victor adds, “I also own a ball gag. If you'd like me to bring that too.”  

Yuuri almost chokes on air.

* * *

 

“You like blowjobs, right?” Victor asks as they're setting the table. 

Yuuri doesn't think isn't a particularity surprising thing to hear, especially after they day he's had, but Mari, who's clearing away one of the tables next to them, seems to think so. She almost drops the bowls she's holding and turns to stare at them before scurrying off to the kitchen to get away from their conversation. 

“Of course. Who doesn't?” Yuuri sasses back. 

“I just want to make sure,” Victor says, pushing his hair out of his face and looking at Yuuri, “because, like I said before, I have a very dexterous tongue.”

“I'm sure,” Yuuri says. And then, he surprises himself by saying, “I hope you enjoy them too. Because I have no gag reflex and it would be a shame to miss out.”

It seems that neither of them were expecting that. But he  _ had _ to say something to shock Victor in return for everything he's been surprised with today. 

It seems to work because Victor gapes at him, mouth opening in astonishment. 

Yuuri just stares back at him, raising one eyebrow in question. 

Victor bites his bottom lip, then says, “yeah,” in a husky voice. “I could go for that.” 

“Perfect,” Yuuri says in a mimic of Victor's voice. 

Mari tentatively peeks her head back into the dining room after a few minutes, glancing between the two of them speculatively.

* * *

 

Victor tries to get back at him as they’re washing dishes, trying for something even more lewd. He’s turned it into a game of who can make the other blush deeper. Yuuri’s going to lose, of course, because being embarrassed is his specialty. 

“How much can you take?” Victor asks as they scrub at a couple pots. 

“What do you mean?” Yuuri asks tentatively. 

“Well, I have a sizable girth…” Victor grins. 

“Oh my god,” Mari curses from where she’s drying bowls several feet away. She slaps her towel down on the counter and stalks out of the kitchen, leaving the two of them alone. 

They wash for a minute or so in silence until Yuuri takes the lead. “I’ll be fine,” he says, placing a pan on the drying rack, “I can take a lot.”

“How much is ‘a lot’,” Victor asks, soapy hands brushing past Yuuri’s in their shared sink. “Because I’m not talking just my dick. I’m thinking maybe a finger or two more?”

Yuuri breathes through his nose, stuck between embarrassed and aroused again. If he can take a knot, he can take a couple of Victor’s fingers as well. Besides, that’s what he craves during his heat - the ‘full’ feeling. “I guess you’ll just have to try,” he challenges.

* * *

 

Since supper, Victor has disappeared. Yuuri’s not terribly worried - sometimes he takes extra time at night to make phone calls to friends and family in Russia. If he’s going to be unreachable for a week, it’s probably a good thing he’s calling now. He’s probably out walking around the block with Maccachin to get some better cell reception. 

It gives Yuuri a chance for a bit of a breather. Not that he hasn’t enjoyed Victor talking dirty to him all day, but there’s only so much teasing his libido can take before he snaps. 

Without meaning to, he finds himself in Victor’s room alone. He can feel the urge to take everything that smells like Victor and hoard it to himself. He almost stops himself and gets almost out of the door before he pauses. 

Victor didn’t seem upset with Yuuri’s nesting yesterday. Maybe it would be okay if he just took a couple more things, only to make himself feel better. 

He  _ should _ probably ask if he’s allowed to take more things than what Victor’s been giving him, but there’s this dark feeling inside his stomach that’s screaming at him to fill the anxiousness with anything that reminds him of Victor, his heat partner. He gives in to it, resolve worn thin because of all the times Victor’s sprung kinks on him today. 

So he digs through Victor’s closets. He only takes a few items, hoping Victor won’t miss them. He’s pretty sure he’s shown restraint, despite the weird feeling in his navel that lessens each time he drapes a new shirt over his arm. But then he finds where Victor’s been storing all of his old costumes, and he’s gone. 

Five trips to his bedroom later and he’s feeling better. Sated. Calmer. 

He stands in Victor’s room, looking at the nearly empty closets. He knows he can’t take anymore without clearing them out completely. But there’s still such a strong scent of Victor lingering in the room and he  _ craves _ it. He wants it next to his skin, a poor substitute to the real thing, but filling a need anyway. 

In a sudden flash of inspiration, he knows what it is. What he’s missing. It’s Victor’s sheets. They’ve been next to his bare skin night after night, taking in so much of his scent. With shaking fingers, Yuuri pulls the duvet back. Even the covers smell like Victor, the sheets moreso. He’ll take them both. 

He gathers the fluffy duvet in both arms, shuttling it away to his room next door quickly. He lays it on his bed, right on top of the clothes he took that won’t fit in his closet. 

He’s about to go back to get the sheets as well, but as he fluffs up the large comforter on his small bed he can’t help but crawl onto it, needing just a moment to take in the musty smell of Victor. He sits in the middle of it, pulling the excess around his shoulders. 

He’s been sitting there for about a minute in this strange blissed-out state when there’s a small knock on his door, and then Victor opens it without waiting for an answer. 

“Yuuri, I went to my room and-” he stops, seeing exactly where the things from his room have disappeared to. 

Yuuri freezes, shocked that he’s been caught so red-handed; curled up in Victor’s duvet with clothes littered around him on the bed. 

Victor is quick to step into the room, closing the door behind him. “Yuuri,” he starts, eyes sparkling with excitement. It only takes half a moment for him to pull out his phone and snap a quick picture of Yuuri nested in the blankets. 

“Victor!” Yuuri chides, blushing hotly and pulling the covers tightly around himself. He’ll have to delete the picture before Victor posts it to instagram. 

“Don’t worry,” Victor placates him. “It’s just for my own personal collection. Now, what are we doing here-”

“No.” Yuuri reaches out as far as he can and presses his fingers to Victor’s lips. He doesn’t want questions. He doesn’t want Victor point out what he’s doing here because he knows. He knows he’s nesting, and he knows it’s embarrassing, but he just needs a quick fix of his partner’s scent and he’ll be fine. 

“I was just coming in to ask you-” Victor says against Yuuri’s fingers.

“Shut up,” Yuuri tells him. He already feels on edge - he’s at the point where a good breeze is going to get him going, and a few strokes would get him off. The last thing he needs is Victor talking kinks to him. But now that Victor’s actually in his room, tempting him with that unique, warm smell, Yuuri can’t help himself. “Come here,” he practically growls, grabbing Victor’s shirt and pulling him in towards the bed. 

He leaves the comfort of his little nest for as long as it takes to manoeuvre Victor into his spot; making him sit on the edge of the bed before straddling him. He’s careful to leave room between their chests in case he runs into any ‘problems’, so he’s mostly sitting on Victor’s knees, his own shins resting on his bed. 

Victor doesn’t ask questions then, he just knows what Yuuri needs. He tilts his head to the left and lets Yuuri fall forward, nose-first, into him. 

Yuuri makes a happy noise in the back of his throat when he finally touches his face against Victor’s scent gland. Now that they’ve both been off suppressants for a few more days, Yuuri’s senses are highly attuned to anything that constitutes ‘Alpha’, and Victor’s scent is so much thicker than before. 

One good inhale of his spiced smell is enough to have Yuuri melting. He throws his arms around Victor’s shoulders to keep himself upright. Victor shamelessly bypasses his hips this time and grabs as much of Yuuri’s ass as he can in an attempt to make sure Yuuri doesn't just slip backwards off his legs. 

“You’ve been busy,” Victor says after Yuuri’s relaxed into his arms. 

“Mmnnn, couldn’t help myself,” Yuuri admits. His voice is muffled by Victor’s collarbone. 

Victor slowly moves his hands, one arm going around Yuuri’s waist to keep him safe, the other reaches out to carefully grab the duvet from behind him and pulls it up and around the both of them, wrapping them up just like Yuuri was earlier. 

It’s warm and cozy, and Yuuri’s got all of the scent he wants with Victor right there and the covers around them. He smiles happily into Victor’s shoulder, shuffling forward on Victor’s lap to get closer. 

“Are those my clothes?” Victor asks, getting a glance at what’s on the bed now that the duvet isn’t covering most of it. 

Yuuri blushes because he knows he probably went overboard. He groans a little, upset that he’s been caught in a position like this, but he’s always been a horrible nester. It’s amazing he hasn’t taken more. “You should take some of them back,” he mumbles. Not that he wants to lose things from his pile, but it only makes sense that Victor will need something to wear for the last couple days. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Victor mutters, nuzzling his way to a place on Yuuri’s neck. “Keep whatever you want. It’s cute.”

“Urgh,” is Yuuri’s response. He’s torn between being delighted Victor thinks he’s cute and feeling shame that he’s so helpless to stop his nesting habits. 

“Although I might need my duvet back for a night or two,” Victor teases a little. 

Yuuri’s fingers spasm at the thought of the plush Victor-smelling covers being taken away from him, but he knows he can’t leave Victor without bedding. “I was going to take your sheets too,” Yuuri admits. 

Victor chuckles and Yuuri can feel it rumbles in his chest where they’re pressed together. “ Боже мой ” he says affectionately in Russian. It’s something Yuuri’s heard him say before, and he’s pretty sure it means ‘oh my god’. He can feel Victor smiling into this neck. “You’d steal my mattress if I wasn’t careful.”

That makes Yuuri squirm because it’s true - if he could possibly move a mattress that size, it would be in here by now. 

“Mnn? Yuuri?” Victor says, noticing the way Yuuri’s reacted to the suggestion. “Did you want my mattress?”

“No,” Yuuri tries to lie, but it comes out hesitant. 

Victor doesn’t even pause before he says, “ah, well, it’s not such a bad idea.”

“It’s not?” Yuuri asks, pulling back so he can actually look at Victor. He needs to see if he’s serious or not. 

There’s a smile on Victor’s face, like it is amusing to him, but he’s genuine when he says, “no, it’s a good idea. Your bed is small, Yuuri, no offence, and although I wouldn’t mind short-term, a week spent on something so small might be confining.”

Yuuri licks his lips, knowing where this is headed. He can’t believe Victor is going to be the one to suggest it though. 

“We can’t switch rooms at all, of course,” Victor says. It’s true - the heat blockers they got will only fit to Yuuri’s door and they’ll need his bathroom too. “But if we switched mattresses….” Victor suggests. 

“Yes,” Yuuri doesn’t hesitate to say. If it means he gets more of Victor’s things in his room, he’s happy. Plus, a king size mattress to have sex on sounds much better than the twin they’re currently sitting on. 

“Okay,” Victor agrees. “How about we move it tomorrow, then. It’s a little late to be moving things tonight.”

“But where will you sleep, then?” He asks tentatively. There are a couple options. One of them he’d prefer to others. 

“I can sleep on a futon until your heat. Just like I did when I first arrived.” He fixes Yuuri’s glasses where they’re sitting kind of skewed on his nose. It’s not Yuuri’s ideal outcome, but he won’t complain if there’s only a couple days before Victor will be sleeping next to him anyway. 

“We’ll have to move my bed out of here,” Yuuri tells him, sliding closer on Victor’s lap to they’re almost nose-to-nose. “It’ll be a tight fit with a mattress that big.”

“We can do that.” Victor agrees, leaning in as close as he possibly can without touching Yuuri. The covers slip off his shoulders, leaving them exposed. 

Victor’s thumb is slowly moving in a calming gesture on his waist. Somehow, though, the closeness and the subtle movement is very sensual to Yuuri. He recognises the caress as something lovers do - a small gesture to let your partner know that you’re there and thinking about them. 

A shiver runs through his body - reacting to the affection he’s so unused to. All he wants to do is increase that intimacy; taste Victor’s scent on his tongue. But Victor seems to take the shiver as evidence he’s cold, so he pulls back and grabs the covers again to wrap them around them again.  

Instead of returning face to face, Victor slips his head back into the crook of Yuuri’s neck, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Yuuri shamelessly hugs him back. 

“Come on,” Victor says after about fifteen minutes of them just cuddling, “we should move some of these things to a safer place so you have room to sleep.”

Yuuri makes a noise of complaint when Victor tries to move him. He’d much rather stay like this. 

“Come on,” Victor prods again, giving a kiss to Yuuri’s neck. “It’s almost time for bed.”

Yuuri allows Victor to help him stand up, a little weak on his legs after having sat the same way for so long. It doesn’t take much for them to move the excess clothes from the bed to a hang over the back of his desk chair and a few extra spots in the closet. Victor doesn’t even say anything when he sees all of his costumes hanging neatly in Yuuri’s closet. 

He’s still sad to see the duvet (and Victor) leave for the night.

* * *

 

“Yuuri,” Victor coos in the morning, slipping an arm around Yuuri’s shoulders as he’s trying to tie up his shoes for his jog. “I was thinking last night-”

“Never a good idea,” Yuuri mutters. Victor’s useless once it gets past 10 o’clock. 

Victor ignores him and keeps going, “I was just thinking about that toy box you have. And well, I had to wonder. Do you think I could use your nipple clamps on you? You have such cute nipples, Yuuri. I’d love to see them peaked and red.”

Yuuri buries his face in his hands. It’s far too early to be getting aroused like this and he still has to run to the ice castle too. He curses Victor and his cheering morning disposition. He also curses his inability to wake up early enough to take care of the morning erection he’d had. It’s day five off his suppressants and his heat can’t come soon enough. 

He stands up, and heads out the door. 

“Wait, Yuuri. Is that a yes or a no?” Victor calls after him. 

“Yes!” Yuuri yells as he starts running. Victor can catch up.

* * *

 

“Yuuri,” Victor starts in that lilting tone as soon as Yuuri rests against the boards for a quick water break. He knows that tone well enough by now that he’s already trying to mentally prepare himself for what Victor’s going to say next. 

“Hmm?” He prompts when Victor isn’t forthcoming. 

“Am I allowed to cum on your face?” Victor asks as innocently as he can. 

Yuuri almost spits his water out. It doesn’t matter how much he prepares, there’s nothing he can do against Victor. 

“Didn’t you, ah, ask that yesterday?” Yuuri asks as he composes himself, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. 

“Oh, well,” Victor pouts a little. “Kind of. But yesterday was your body. I want to know specifically about your face.”

Yuuri decides to indulge a little because it seems like, surprisingly, it’s something Victor wants for himself. “Is it about the scent?” Yuuri asks. 

“No,” Victor is frank with him. “This is just a possessive thing.”

Yuuri clenches his teeth before he just gets on his knees right there on the ice. The Omega part of him is ready to submit, and the mention of possession is pulling at some biological urges. “As long as it doesn't get in my eyes,” Yuuri says, then skates out to the centre of the ice, putting his energy into his feet instead of his simmering arousal.

* * *

 

“Have you ever thought about being tied up?” Victor asks as they’re finally headed home after their afternoon workout. 

Yuuri sighs, willing himself not to clench at his chest when his heart begins to beat rapidly. 

“I’m not talking about handcuffs,” Victor clarifies. “You already said those were okay yesterday. I was thinking more… elaborate. I have some beautiful red rope that would look perfect on you.”

“Red rope,” Yuuri repeats, pushing his hair out of his eyes in a nervous motion. He’s pretty sure he knows what kind of rope play Victor’s asking about and although he wouldn’t mind terribly on himself, he thinks he’d be rather fond of Victor being the one tied up like that. 

“Or I have black as well. It would be just as lovely.” Victor nods. 

“I’m not sure about something with that much prep work for my heat,” Yuuri actually manages to say. He won’t have the patience for it when he’s in heat. It’s the first thing he’s kind of vetoed. 

“Too bad,” Victor frowns, but he doesn't press it. “But handcuffs are still okay?” He makes sure to clarify. 

“Yeah, definitely okay,” he responds, bumping shoulders with Victor.  

* * *

 

To move Yuuri's bed into Victor's room takes a little bit of manoeuvring and a lot of foresight. They take the mattress off and prop it up against Yuuri's closet to begin with because they can't take up space in Victor’s room with it yet if they're going to move the frame. They also pull out the bottom drawer of the bed and put it on Yuuri's desk so it's out of the way and it's easier to reach some of the screws.

From there it's easy to get the headboard detached from frame, and with a bit of manoeuvring, they get the whole frame safely into Victor's room. 

Then they debate for a few minutes whether they should set up Yuuri's bed in Victor's room. They'll have to move Victor's mattress into Yuuri's room soon, because if Yuuri's heat starts earlier than expected, they'll be either hard-pressed to move it quickly enough, or just plain out of luck. Better to be prepared than sorry. 

Victor has already gotten the futon he’ll use to sleep on the tatami mats, not wanting to mess with the scents on Yuuri's bed, just in case. So really, unless Yuuri is planning on sleeping in Victor's room with him, there's not much point in setting up the frame. 

“We can just prop the mattress up against the frame in the corner,” Victor says, eyeing Yuuri's mattress as they stand in Yuuri's room, taking a break after moving the large and awkward frame. 

“Do you really think your King size mattress is going to fit in here?” Yuuri asks Victor, eyeing the small dimensions of his room. 

Victor shrugs. “It should. Not with the bed frame I don't think. But the mattress by itself should be fine.”

Truthfully, even though it seems half-hearted, Yuuri's kind of grateful the mattress will be on the floor. He's not the most careful during his heat and he's fallen off beds more times then he can count. Plus, it will be easy to change sheets that way too. He’ll see if he can grab the extra sheets for the bed to stash away now. They'll end up using at least the three sets he knows Victor has. 

Victor moves to go to the mattress, but as he does his hip knocks against the bed drawer they'd left on Yuuri's desk. “Oh, we should probably move this too,” he says, rubbing where the corner hit his hip. 

Before Victor can pick it up, Yuuri stops him. “I think we'll need this,” he says, and pulls out his toy box from beside some old workout shorts he keeps for his ‘fat’ days that’s stored in there. 

Victor grins at him. “No, no, can't forget about those.” He opens the lid a little to peek inside. “There's a few things I really want to try on you,” he mentions causally. 

Yuuri flushes a little, thinking of things, like the handcuffs, he'd like to use as well. 

“You're getting that new order of toys soon, right?” Victor asks as Yuuri finds a spot in his closet for the box. He'll take it out later when his heat hits. It doesn't need to sit out in the open until then. 

“Yeah, the package tracker says they'll be here tomorrow,” he tells Victor, sliding the box onto a shelf. He checked this morning just to be sure. The heat blockers he ordered arrived a couple days ago - they just need to install them now. 

He closes the closet and turns around to tell Victor how excited he is to open the package with him, and then use each item with him too. He helped pick them, so it's only fair that he help Yuuri try them all too. 

But when he turns around Victor has a weird look on his face. 

“What's this?” He asks. 

For a split second Yuuri thinks he's found some embarrassing relic from the past - a poster he missed giving to Mari, or that Victor action figure he bought on eBay (that he lost and still has no idea where it went to) - but his eyes focus quickly on what's in Victor's hand. 

The bottom drops out of his stomach as his anxiety hits him full force. 

It's a ziplock bag. With the Alpha-scented cloth Toshi gave to him inside. 

“It's nothing,” Yuuri tries, willing Victor to put it back in the drawer and leave it alone for Yuuri to deal with later. He totally forgot that it was in there. No wonder his room still hadn't felt clear of scents even after all the cleaning they've done so far. 

“Yuuri.” Victor says in a rough voice. He's giving Yuuri a second chance to come clean, so to speak. 

Yuuri panics a little. It's not like it should be a big deal. He's not bonded to Victor, they're not in a relationship, and he got the cloth before they'd agreed to share his heat, but somehow he just doesn't want Victor to know what it is. 

He knows he can't deny it. Even if it's sealed in a bag, there has to be Alpha scent on the outside. It's probably the reason that Victor's giving it any attention at all. Otherwise it might just be something weird Yuuri's keeping with his oversized clothes.

“Don't worry about it,” Yuuri tries instead. He takes one step forward in a move to take it out of Victor's hands, but Victor is too quick. 

He pulls the bag open. They're both immediately hit with an overwhelming scent of Alpha. Alpha and sex. An Alpha that isn't Victor. 

Yuuri freezes in his spot, hand half outstretched to take the bag. Victor is also frozen in place, but his hands are shaking minutely. 

“Yuuri,” Victor says in a quiet, hurt voice. It tears Yuuri's heart to pieces to hear his name sound like that. 

He can't say anything because his throat feels right. Not that he'd know what to say anyway. He could try to tell Victor he'd forgotten about it, but he doubts it would sound believable, even if it is the truth. 

Victor's whole body is tense, his hands the only indication of his mood. “Why?” He asks in a tone that Yuuri never wants to hear again. It's cold and detached. 

“Victor, don't-” he tries because he has to do  _ something _ to stop whatever is happening right now. 

“Who,” Victor switches tactics, still with that cold, hard voice. “Who's is it?” 

Yuuri knows he can't lie about it. “Toshi,” he says.  

“Toshi,” Victor repeats. “The Alpha from Fukuoka?”

For all that Victor forgets people's names, he has to remember that one. Of course. “Yes,” Yuuri says, insides clenching in worry, “he gave it to me that night-”

For some reason that only makes it worse. Victor's eyes are ablaze and he actually looks angry - something Yuuri doesn't think he's ever seen. “He gave it to you. That day. The day we were in Fukuoka.”

“Yes.” Yuuri curls his arms around his middle in a defensive move. His fingers clench tightly into the fabric as his sides. 

“You took this all the way home with you. It was with you the whole time you helped me go home on the train with you.” Victor all but growls. 

Yuuri is sure they both already know the answer is ‘yes’. But he thinks back to that night. The tender care he'd given drunken Victor. The way Victor had been so concerned he wasn't making Yuuri happy. 

Had Victor wanted to share his heat even back then? Had that day in the park been like a date? Like Victor trying to be another suitor? Was the reason Victor got drunk because Yuuri had shied away from him and gone to meet Toshi? 

He's starting to see it now; the jealousy, the subtle hints Victor had been dropping. And he can't believe he didn't pick up on it sooner. He also feels terrible because after all Victor had done that day for him, he'd kept Toshi’s cloth. Kept it in his pocket as he supported Victor. Brought it home with him as Victor had asked about his wellbeing. 

Yuuri doesn’t need to say the answer for Victor to know with certainty it’s a ‘yes’. 

“And that night,” Victor starts, “When you were here in your room. You got yourself off with it, didn’t you?”

Yuuri feels like he’s fallen after a poorly executed jump - completely winded and hurting all over. “You heard?” He asks, barely able to find the breath for it. 

“It was because of this,” Victor ignores, waving the bag, sending more of Toshi’s scent out into the air. The scent that was once attractive to Yuuri is now just stifling. 

They stand there, staring at each other; so many things that need to be said that it’s hard to know where to start. Yuuri’s heart feels like it’s beating hard enough against his ribs that it might bruise. He knows it’s not physically possible, but there’s a pain there he can’t describe any other way. 

“Is this what you want?” Victor asks seriously. 

“What?” Yuuri coughs out. 

“Do you want him more than me? Would you rather he was here instead?” Victor stares him down, waiting for an answer.

“No.” Yuuri says quickly. “No. I didn’t want him.  _ Don’t _ want him.” He tries to clarify. He feels like there’s so much more he needs to explain, but with the cold look Victor’s giving him suggests that he won’t be able to offer up a half-hearted excuse. 

“Was this going to help you through your solo heat?” Victor asks. It looks like he doesn’t want to talk through things, he just wants answers. 

Yuuri worries his bottom lip with his teeth in nervousness. This one he can’t answer without hesitation. While it’s true that he’d forgotten it was there, he can’t deny that he wouldn’t have used it if he’d ended up doing his heat alone. 

Victor understands what his silence means. Yuuri waits in anticipation of Victor calling everything off. Even though it’s not his heat yet, they do have a safeword to end it all. He could stop this before it even starts. Yuuri tries to breathe through the tightness in his chest. 

Victor’s the one to speak again, “Why didn’t you just ask him instead?” The ‘instead of me’ is left unsaid, but it rings clear in Victor’s hurt tone. 

“Because I want you.” Yuuri says with as much determination as he can muster. He can’t let Victor leave their heat contract without knowing that Yuuri wasn’t using him as a substitute. He hopes that if he can at least convey that, he might still stand a chance of Victor sticking around as his coach afterwards. 

He figured that this might be an outcome of trying to share a heat - Victor learning all of Yuuri’s insecurities, all his quirks, his inner thoughts, and deciding that he was better off returning to figure skating instead of spending anymore time trying to coach Yuuri. 

“Why do you still have it, then?” Victor asks, his jaw clenching as he grits his teeth, preparing for Yuuri’s answer. 

“I forgot. I did, honestly-” Yuuri tries again. 

“How do you forget about something like this?” Victor asks, gesturing with the bag again. Although he looks angry, he also looks close to tears. Yuuri isn’t sure what to make of that. 

“I don’t know,” Yuuri says. Maybe it was because he was caught up with all the heat planning. Maybe it was because he was too enamoured of Victor. Whatever it was, he has no concrete reason to offer. 

“Because I don’t understand how you forget about this,” Victor says, glancing at the bag. “This… having this, Yuuri, it’s… a mark of ownership. It’s a way of an Alpha stating possession. How can you tell me you forgot about something like that? How can you stand there and tell me that you’ve wanted me as your heat partner? I already told you I didn’t want you to choose me because I was convenient. If Toshi wasn’t available, then you should have-”

“I didn’t ask for it, okay?!” Yuuri interrupts. Even if he enjoyed the benefits of it, he hadn’t asked for it in the first place, which seems to be a key piece of information that Victor’s missing. “He gave it to me. At the meeting, right before he left. Told me it was a ‘gift’. What else was I supposed to do but bring it home?”

Victor looks between the offending bag and Yuuri, his face running through several emotions that are too quick for Yuuri to decipher. 

Victor then turns abruptly and storms out of the room, bag still in hand. Fearing that Victor’s ready to leave for good, leave him here alone, Yuuri dashes after him. “Victor, wait, wait!” He calls. “Please, just-”

But Victor’s stomping down the stairs at an alarming speed. Strangely enough he takes a right turn at the bottom of the stairs instead of continuing out to the main rooms like Yuuri expected. 

He finds Victor in the kitchen, grabbing tongs from beside the stove. Mari’s in the back of the kitchen, startled by their sudden appearance and watching them like she’d rather be somewhere else again. 

Victor pulls the Alpha-scented cloth out of the bag with the tongs. The bag immediately goes in the trash. He holds the tongs out away from his body as he turns on one of the stove burners. It flickers to light, and almost as soon as there’s a flame, Victor’s holding the cloth over it, letting it catch fire. 

“What the fuck!” Mari exclaims, stepping back and away from them. 

Victor doesn’t say anything, and neither does Yuuri. They both just watch as the cloth burns hot and fast. Soon all that’s left is just a smoulder beside the burner. Yuuri knows Mari will clean the spot religiously, thank goodness.

“There,” Victor says, looking a little less on edge now that the source of the Alpha smell is gone. He makes a spectacular toss so the tongs clatter loudly into the sink to be washed. “Sorry,” he says to Mari, but it doesn't sound like he means it. 

He then walks to Yuuri, grabs him by the wrist and starts dragging him back to the room. They leave as quickly as they entered. 

“Wait, why are you-” Yuuri tries to protest, unsure of what Victor wants with him now. 

“I’m not having a fight with you where anyone can overhear,” Victor tells him, eyes focussed forward. 

“We’re still fighting?” Yuuri asks, because he honestly doesn’t know what’s happening right now. He’s not sure if burning the cloth means he’s forgiven, or if Victor still wants to leave. 

“It depends on the answers you give,” Victor tells him, pulling back into Yuuri’s bedroom and slamming the door behind them. 

Victor goes to the window, throwing it open to let in cool evening air and clear out Toshi’s scent that’s still lingering. As soon as the window is open, Victor’s back on him, crowding into his space.

“You, Yuuri Katsuki, better explain yourself,” he demands. He seems to be radiating even more of his own scent, as if it’s a biological urge to purge any opponent’s smell from the room. It makes him weak in the knees. He bumps up against his mattress that’s propped up against his closet. 

“It was a gift,” Yuuri repeats because that seemed to be the deciding factor for Victor moments ago. “We met, had the heat meeting, and then right before he left, he gave it to me. I wasn’t even totally convinced that’s what it was at first. I mean, it’s a little bold, isn’t it?”

“Very,” Victor agrees, stepping in closer still to Yuuri. There’s still anger in his voice.

Being this close to Victor again, if anything, makes Yuuri’s realise that Toshi’s scent doesn't’ even compare to Victor’s. There’s no competition. Toshi’s scent was dull. Pheromone-filled, yes, but lacking in everything else. Victor’s is rich, warm and inviting. 

“Victor,” Yuuri gasps, arms reaching to twist around Victor’s waist so he can have at least some kind of bodily contact. “I’m sorry,” he says, feeling the knot in his chest loosen. “Since that night I haven’t… it’s not him. He was never an option for me. You,” he pauses. He’s dreading that if he says too much more he’ll reveal how deeply invested he is in this heat happening. But he needs to make Victor understand that he was never the ‘easy choice’. 

And if Victor’s reaction to the cloth is anything to go by - the possessiveness that he’s shown - means that there’s probably something more than ‘excited to share a heat’ going on. Maybe something about Yuuri specifically. 

“Yes?” Victor encourages, stepping in, his voice tightly controlled. 

“I just never thought you’d be interested,” Yuuri tells him. “If I’d known you were interested back then, in Fukuoka, I would have never gone to that heat meeting.”

“I was trying so hard to make you forget about it,” Victor admits in a matter-of-fact voice, leaning in so their noses are touching. “We were having such a good time together. It was… it was like my own pre-heat date with you. I thought that maybe-” he cuts himself off, licking his lips nervously. 

“I should have just asked,” Yuuri realises. 

Victor’s hand comes up to Yuuri’s cheek, thumb brushing past his lips in a gesture that Yuuri’s familiar with. There’s still tension under the surface, but Victor softly says, “I would have said ‘yes’ without hesitation.”

It feels like they’re standing on the edge of a precipice. Yuuri knows that this is one of those moments he can’t let go of. There’s just inches away from changing their boundaries; changing their relationship. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at once.  

“Never do it again, Yuuri,” Victor’s voice takes on a challenging tone, but his hand is tilting Yuuri’s chin up towards his own. “While you’re with me, don’t ever take another Alpha’s gifts.”

“Never,” Yuuri agrees. They both wait there, lips so close, waiting for the other to make the first move. Yuuri’s stomach flutters with the anticipation.

“Please,” Victor whispers, eyes dark with passion, “Please say I can do this.”

“Yes,” he breathes, and suddenly they’re kissing. Victor presses in, lips soft but firm against Yuuri’s. It’s heat and passion, hot and sparks, and  _ ‘finally’. _

It’s so much better than he ever imagined. The slow caress of the plush of Victor’s lips feels perfect against his own. Victor’s thumb brushes across his cheekbone and he kisses Yuuri harder. 

Yuuri lets out soft noise of need, hands reaching up to Victor’s shoulder blades to pull him close. Victor devours the sound with his mouth, greedily kissing Yuuri deeper. His tongue darts out to taste Yuuri’s lips. 

Yuuri’s not sure what it means for them to kiss outside of his heat. He knows that part of this is due to the hormones he’s putting off so close to his heat making them both more aroused, and more aware of each other. But he’s not discounting actual attraction too. Obviously even before they went off suppressants, Victor had been interested. 

However, he’s under no delusions that this suddenly means they’re in any kind of relationship. It’s not unusual for heat partners to start things earlier than the heat itself to try to get used to each other’s bodies. This is just a combination of everything that’s happened so far. He also recognizes that it’s mostly borne out of Victor’s frustration. 

Victor’s the first to break away. “Yuuri,” he pants, eyes fluttering open to meet Yuuri’s. 

“Don’t stop,” Yuuri pleads, pulling Victor back into another kiss. He wants to savour this now before they have to talk about it. This time he takes the lead, darting his tongue out to initiate a deeper kiss. Victor takes it in stride, return the kiss full-force. 

He presses Yuuri back into the mattress they’re leaning against, his right leg sliding in between Yuuri’s legs while one hand cups Yuuri’s face and the other wanders down his side to his hip. 

Yuuri arches up into the touch, finally getting his own hands up into Victor’s hair, tugging his head into an even better position to kiss. Yuuri tries to pull back to get air, but Victor kisses him hard, tongue following Yuuri’s. He breathes deeply through his nose so they don’t have to break away again. 

Yuuri arches up against Victor again, the erection he was quick to acquire rubbing against Victor’s thigh. Victor makes a pleased noise in the back of his throat and pushes his hips against Yuuri’s in reciprocation. He’s more than half-hard already if Yuuri can guess by the length that presses against his hipbone. 

Victor grabs him by one ass cheek, squeezing tightly before pulling him away from the mattress. Without breaking the kiss, Victor manhandles the mattress behind them so it falls down with a loud thump on the floor. Yuuri breaks the kiss when he’s startled by the sound. 

But Victor wastes no time pushing Yuuri down onto the flat mattress, following smoothly after him. He hovers over Yuuri for a moment, eyes flowing down his body, taking in his prize, before he finds Yuuri’s lips again. 

He lowers himself on top of Yuuri, lining their erections up perfectly so Yuuri can rut up against him as he kisses at his neck. 

“Victor,” Yuuri huffs, baring his neck more, letting Victor kiss at the scent gland there, hoping that in just a few days he’ll be able to receive a bond bite instead of just kisses. 

“Yuuri,” Victor says roughly. “If you ever dare keep something like that again-” He rolls his hips down against Yuuri’s and little stars burst behind his eyelids as he’s finally been given the physical contact he’s been craving for days. 

Victor rolls his hips with purpose again, hard dick rubbing against Yuuri’s. He seems passionate as well as possessive, just a little tinge of rough coming through with a nip of teeth to collarbones and slow, hard press of hips. 

He hasn't properly thought about Victor and he sharing his heat. Sure they've talked about kinks. Sure they've talk about feelings. But he hasn’t really thought about how Victor's dick is going to be inside him. How Victor's body is going to be over him. If he has any chance of not combusting the first time Victor touches him, he should either ask for sex beforehand or get himself off to a fantasy of it. 

“Victor-, ah,” he stops to moan as Victor sucks hard at his sternum. He hates himself for saying it, but he does, “we shouldn’t do this. Not now.” He doesn’t want to stop, he really doesn't. But they haven’t talked about sex outside of heat yet and he doesn’t want this to be a one-time thing only done because Victor’s angry at him. 

Victor whines, but sits back on his heels away from Yuuri. The front of his pants are straining. Not that Yuuri’s tented trousers are any better at hiding his arousal. 

“Yuuri, you’re such a tease,” Victor rasps. 

Yuuri contemplates saying goodbye to his anxieties and bringing Victor back in for a kiss, but he knows that come tomorrow he’d probably regret not talking things through first. 

“Okay, okay,” Victor says more to himself than Yuuri, pushing his hair out of his face. He turns to glare at Yuuri, “if you so much as move-,” he threatens, still pissed off. Then he stands up, leaving Yuuri lying on the mattress, red-faced, aroused, and panting. He adjusts himself, looks down at Yuuri splayed out on the mattress, before going to the door and leaving the room. 

Yuuri tries to will away his erection. If he’s not aroused he hopes he’ll be less tempted by Victor when he returns. It’s no use, though, because he can’t stop thinking about Victor’s lips on his. He touches his fingers to his kiss-swollen bottom lip. He squirms a little, still in a bit of disbelief that he’s actually just made out with his coach.

He would be worried about what Victor’s doing, but he’s busy daydreaming about the things Victor might do if he did move from his spot. 

Victor returns less than five minutes later anyway, looking only slightly more composed, but still with a pink blush set high on his cheeks. He’s holding what looks like a washcloth. 

“Here,” he says, tossing the cloth to Yuuri. “If you ever need anything like that again,  _ this _ is the only one you use.”

Yuuri’s hit with the sudden, unmistakable smell of Alpha Victor. Sex and Alpha Victor. 

“Stay here tonight,” Victor pleads with Yuuri as he stares at the cloth in his hands. “I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back from kissing you again if you’re....” he gestures with his hand to all of Yuuri. “We can talk in the morning when we’re both calmer,” he suggests. 

“Wha-” Yuuri breathes, feeling dazed by the overwhelming scent in his hands. 

“Tomorrow,” Victor promises. He looks torn about leaving, but he manages to get out the door, closing it behind him sharply as Yuuri gapes at both him and the cloth. 

He’s left alone in his room - just a mattress on the floor - with a newly semen-stained washcloth as a replacement for the one Victor burned. 

He wants nothing more than to rub the still-damp cloth all over his body or just jerk off into it as well. But knowing now that Victor can hear him in the room next door makes him reluctant to put the cloth to good use. 

He does manage to keep his hands to himself as he gets into bed, using the mattress that’s still haphazardly thrown on the floor. His erection fades quickly as he realises that he and Victor didn’t really make up and he’s not sure if they’re still fighting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Боже мой - bozhe(borje) moi - oh my god! (This is one of the few Russian phrases I learned when I visited St. Petersburg all those years ago.) And for those interested: this fic is being [translated into Russian](https://ficbook.net/readfic/5054085) as well. 
> 
> I’m not sure if any of us were really expecting a scene like that. Yuuri sure wasn’t. Please let me know what you thought of it (and the whole chapter). You’re probably wondering how much hotter it can get before Yuuri’s heat, but you haven't seen what’s coming up in the next chapters...
> 
> Please feel free to come say hi on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com), even if it’s just to check for update news and teasers.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s finally here - the next chapter. Thanks for waiting so patiently. My plan for future chapters is to update within a week, hopefully never longer than that. I don’t think there'll be a schedule though. 
> 
> Sooooo I’m going to apologise because somehow these last couple pre-heat days have been dragging out. I swear it’s because there’s so much happening, not because I’m trying to tease you with the heat week.

Yuuri doesn't get a very restful sleep that night, worrying about what happened between him and Victor. It’s not as if it were a horrible evening. But it also didn’t go the way Yuuri had planned. Not that he’d planned what happened. Just that he didn’t expect his first kiss with Victor to be like that. Not that he’d expected there to be a kiss at all before his-. He has to stop himself before he spirals out of control. With Victor’s cloth tucked away in one of his desk drawers where it’s less likely to tempt him, he falls into light sleep. 

He gets up before his alarm again, something completely out of character as he usually tries to get away with hitting the snooze button at least three times. But this morning he's on edge. 

He pads to Victor's room, sliding open the doors as quietly as possible. Victor's still asleep when he gets to the side of the bed. He pauses for a moment to wonder if he should disturb him while he's sleeping, especially since he has no idea the mood Victor will be in today. They left with such an awkward feeling yesterday, but he’d said they’d talk in the morning and Yuuri’s anxious to get it sorted out. 

He sits on the edge of the bed, placing a light hand on Victor's hip. Victor's eyelids flutter open the smallest amount. 

“Victor,” he chokes out, forgetting everything he wanted to say; everything he wanted to apologize for. 

Victor shuffles back in the bed a bit, out of Yuuri's reach and Yuuri panics for a second, thinking Victor is rejecting him, but Victor just peels the covers back. 

“Get in,” he says in a sleep-rough voice when Yuuri doesn't move right away. 

Yuuri scrambled under the covers, curling in close to Victor, knees touching. 

“Morning,” Victor says in a quiet voice. He brushes Yuuri's hair back and presses a kiss to his forehead. Yuuri almost sobs in relief. 

“Morning,” he mutters back. 

Victor smiles softly at him from his pillow, face pale and ethereal in the calm light of morning. He pushes some of Yuuri’s hair back from his face, fingertips running along the top of his ear. Yuuri realises he forgot to put his glasses on this morning before coming to see Victor. He must have really been caught up in wanting to talk to him. Yet somehow he can’t find the words. 

“How are you feeling?” Victor starts for him, voice rough and husky from sleep.

“Feeling?” Yuuri repeats. “Jittery,” he says honestly. Victor’s warm musky smell is heavy so close to him and wrapped in the sheets, so he’s also feeling a bit of something else, but it’s not appropriate to mention that now. 

“Anything I can do to help?” Victor asks softly. “Did you want to-?” Victor opens his arms a little in invitation. Yuuri hesitates only half a second before he shuffles even closer. 

Victor readjusts so their legs are tangled together and he has one arm thrown over Yuuri’s waist. They’re nose to nose and Yuuri wishes he’d thought to brush his teeth before coming. He ducks his head under Victor’s chin instead, nuzzling into his collarbones. His skin is warm and soft where Yuuri’s skin touches. Which is a lot, actually, considering Victor is sleeping shirtless. 

Victor chuckles a little, slipping his bottom arm under Yuuri’s neck to he can give Yuuri a tight hug. “Ah, just like Maccachin in the mornings. Loves to cuddle,” he says. The puppy in question is still snoozing at the foot of the bed near Victor’s feet. 

Yuuri would be upset at being compared to the poodle, if it weren’t for the way Victor’s hand is rubbing up and down his side and a soothing motion. Instead, he makes sure he’s as close as he can be, arms wrapped around Victor in an embrace. 

Their bodies are hot under all the covers, but Yuuri doesn’t care because he’s back to being close to Victor and it doesn’t seem like last night ruined things between them. If anything, it’s somehow been made better because Yuuri’s never dreamed of holding Victor like this: curled up in bed in the morning, sharing a quiet embrace. 

It’s only five minutes later when Yuuri is thinking about falling asleep and Victor probably already has drifted into a hypnagogic state does Victor’s alarm ring. Yuuri clenches his teeth, cursing how early they have to get up for practice. 

Victor makes a sleepy and unhappy sound. Yuuri goes to pull away, grateful even for just the five minutes of contact, when Victor tightens his hold. “Don’t move,” Victor says in that same husky voice as when Yuuri first woke him up. 

He presses into Yuuri, reaching out to fumble with his phone on the bedside table. Yuuri rolls to the side a little to allow Victor a little better access, and Victor grabs his chiming phone and silences it. 

“We can go in late today,” Victor says, tossing his phone back onto the table with a clunk. 

“Late?” Yuuri asks, pulling back from Victor’s chest a little. Victor is looking at down at him through his eyelashes, blue eyes clearing of sleep slowly. 

“I turned my alarm off. I’m too comfortable right now to get up,” Victor sighs, nestling back down into his pillow and pulling Yuuri close to him again. 

Victor, the most morning-person Yuuri’s known in his life, is going to sleep in and miss practice because of Yuuri? A warmth blooms across Yuuri’s chest, an affection so deep that he’s startled by it. He knows he’s attracted to Victor, has been for years, but affection like this is rare for Yuuri. 

Victor hums, his nose pressed to the top of Yuuri’s head and the sound rumbling across his chest. It sends something twisting down Yuuri’s spine where something hot and heavy settles at the bottom curve of his back. 

“We’re going to skip practice?” Yuuri asks. He’s a little torn - on one hand he wants to get the most practices in before his heat as possible, the other part of him just want to spend the whole day in bed like this. 

“Mmnn,” Victor rumbles again, “no, not skip it. There’re just some things we should sort out before we head over.”

“Sort. Out?” Yuuri hesitates. He wants to talk about last night, figure out what happened, discuss what they’d done. But even after curling up like this, he’s still afraid of the answers he might get. The base of his spine is still tingling. 

“Well, we should move my mattress into your room this morning, just in case,” Victor says rationally. “And we should definitely install those heat blockers on your door,” he suggests. 

Although it’s not the response Yuuri was hoping for, he has to admit Victor’s right, though. Yuuri’s heat can happen at any moment now, and they should be prepared as early as possible. He got the scent blockers in the mail a while ago and he’s just been holding off on installing them, wanting his room to be as scent-free (besides his and Victor’s) as possible. 

“You’re right,” Yuuri mumbles. If they get it done this morning, then it’s finished and they won’t have to worry about it. At least, Yuuri won’t spend his practice worrying about it like he probably would. 

Victor takes a deep breath, ribcage expanding into Yuuri’s space. “Yuuri,” he says quietly, “Last night…”

Yuuri tenses, preparing for whatever Victor has to say. 

“I’m sorry,” is the last thing Yuuri expected to come out of Victor’s mouth. They both pull away from each other a little, leaving their legs tangled together, but putting enough space between them so they can look into each other’s eyes. 

“You’re… sorry.” Yuuri tries to confirm. 

Victor frowns, “Yes, of course I’m sorry.” He sounds petulant, like he expected Yuuri to just accept his apology. 

“Why?” Yuuri asks. He’s not quite sure why Victor is the one who needs to apologise. He’d been the one with the Alpha cloth hidden away, and the one who stopped anything more from happening last night. 

“I was…” Victor looks like he’s struggling for words, his usual confident demeanour replaced with something softer. “I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled at you about it. You said you’d forgotten, right?”

“I had,” Yuuri confirms. He’d used the Alpha-scented cloth once and then pretty much put it out of his mind. 

“And it’s not like I had any right to lay claim to you back then, when you received it.” Victor continues. 

“No, you didn’t,” Yuuri confirms. 

Victor makes a bit of a face like he’s hurt they both recognise he hadn’t been any kind of option for Yuuri back when they visited Fukuoka. “Being off suppressants…” Victor says slowly. “It’s different from all the other times I’ve shared someone’s heat. I don’t know if it’s just the hormones, or if it’s because I’ve been so involved in the planning up to this point when I never have before, but Yuuri… I got angry last night. I didn’t want to, but-” He cuts himself off, frowning. 

“But?” Yuuri prompts. He usually wouldn’t press an issue like this, but he wants to know. And in the cocoon of Victor’s bed, he feels safe enough to ask. 

“But for the past few days I’ve been scenting you - taking in, memorizing the way you smell, noticing the way you’ve changed to smell like me as well.”

Yuuri’s breath hitches because he, personally, hasn’t noticed a change at all. But he supposes they’ve been close enough - pressed together often enough - that he’s beginning to smell like  _ both _ of them. Like a couple. His spine tingles again.  

“But the smell when I opened that bag…” Victor swallows hard, as if he finds it difficult to even talk about now, “it was  _ other _ Alpha sex. And you.”

“Me?” Yuuri asks. He didn’t think he’d touched it much; just inhaled the scent - used it to muffle his cries. But then the he flushes, thinking of how afterwards he’d used the cloth to clean himself up a little. So of course it probably smelled of him and sex. 

“It was like my body was screaming to make sure you were mine,” Victor tells him, “like it knew you were going into heat soon and I needed to make sure that I was the one going to spend it with you.”

“You are,” Yuuri says, fingers brushing from the side of Victor’s ribs down to his hipbone where it’s peeking over the top of his sleep pants. 

“But I didn’t know that. Or, it felt like I didn’t know that,” Victor tells him. “I just reacted.”

“It’s okay,” Yuuri says, and he means it. Although he was worried about what might happen after the argument, he hadn’t minded that Victor wanted to stake claim to him. It was rather flattering, actually. 

“Is it?” Victor asks, sounding unsure. “Because I-” he stops, licking his lips. “I kissed you,” he finishes. 

He’d done more than just kiss Yuuri, but it’s probably the most important thing to mention right now. It’s at least what they’d been dancing around for days, and it had happened so suddenly. 

“I agreed to it,” Yuuri says. Of course he’d agreed to it. Victor had asked to kiss him; something he’d been aware enough to do even in his jealousy too. All it really points to is how careful Victor is around Yuuri. 

“I’m sorry it wasn’t perfect,” Victor says. He’s staring at Yuuri, still looking unconvinced that he’s forgiven. 

“Perfect?” Yuuri asked, confused. It wasn’t an earth-shattering kiss, no. It wasn’t something out of a fairytale either. But that was fine. It was all Yuuri had wanted in that moment. And he’s almost glad that’s the way it had ended up happening because it takes pressure off him to make it that ‘perfect’ kiss. “What do you mean?” He asks because he’s not sure why should it matter to Victor whether or not their first kiss was perfect. Yuuri’s the one who’s smitten, not Victor. 

Victor sighs a little again. “I thought you didn’t want to do anything before your heat because even when I’ve brought it up, you’ve ignored it. I’ve been holding off, saving it for the first day instead. Because we’re not…” he pauses, eyes searching Yuuri’s, “...it’s just for your heat. Us. We’re only doing this for your heat.”

Yuuri doesn’t dare nod in agreement in case Victor might possibly think there’s an option for ‘afterwards’ too. He doesn’t want to ruin any chances at that before they’ve even discussed it. He’s been hoping that he might be able to bring the topic up during the heat week - the possibility of more. He’s still going to save it for then; when they’re both high on endorphins.  

“I thought that since we wouldn’t  _ do _ anything until your heat started that I'd make that first time special,” Victor tells him. 

“Special?” Yuuri echoes. 

“Yes. With a perfect kiss, and then perfect sex. Because I want to give that to you.” Victor is sincere, his face showing it completely for once, his hand still hot on Yuuri’s side in a gesture of intimacy. 

Yuuri’s heart hurts at the passion he never expected to receive. It’s more than enough for him that Victor wanted their first time together to be special. But he has to make Victor understand that it doesn’t actually matter. Not to him. Just being with Victor makes him happy. “The first time doesn’t have to be perfect,” Yuuri says. “I’m living proof of that. I’ve never done perfectly on the first try.”

Victor huffs and looks like he’s about to tell Yuuri off, but Yuuri shakes his head, hair getting into his eyes because it’s impeded by the pillow he’s resting on. 

“Victor, when you kissed me, you surprised me. That’s all that matters. That’s everything I expected of you. It was fine.” And he truly means it. It wasn’t the perfect kiss. It didn’t come with any declarations of feelings, and it wasn’t under the cherry trees or at a fireworks festival. But it was real, and due to passion. Yuuri would rather be kissed because of passion than because of any ‘moment is right’ nostalgia. 

“Yuuri,” Victor melts, face softening into adoration. He must have actually been worried about it if he was so tense. 

“Besides,” Yuuri continues without thinking, “the first part of my heat is going to be anything but perfect. I probably won’t remember half of it, honestly.” It’s the truth - the heat haze usually makes the beginning of his heat pretty fuzzy. It’s not until he’s had a decent amount of orgasms that it clears. He does want to remember his and Victor’s first time, really, but he’s already made peace with himself that it probably won’t happen. He’ll just have to remember every other time during the week. 

“Okay,” Victor says slowly, his usual smile creeping up onto his face. Victor adjusts, one of his legs slipping up higher between Yuuri’s own. 

“It was probably better that it happened now,” Yuuri says. He hopes Victor understands he means that he’d rather remember the kiss than it be ‘perfect’. 

Victor’s smile falters a little, “But besides the kiss…” 

Yuuri flushes, remember how they’d practically rutted against each other. “Ah, that’s… that was fine too,” he admits. Even if he didn’t want it to end like that, he was alright with the kiss and the heat of it. But to go further when they hadn’t talked about it, when they were both tied up in effects of pheromones, was a little too far out of Yuuri’s comfort zone. 

“And I…” Victor actually looks like he’s beginning to blush. “...I gave you my own…” he breaks off, grimacing. “Completely uncalled for, and you can burn it too, or give it back, or, whatever.” 

Yuuri thinks about how he has Victor’s cloth stashed away and what he’d give it up for now that he has it. When his heat is over and they go back to being coach and skater, when their sexual relationship is finished (because Yuuri’s sure they will at least still be physical with each other past this - Victor has always touched him), Yuuri will need that cloth to hold onto. He’ll need that Alpha smell to remind him that he did, at one point, have Victor Nikiforov to himself. “No,” he says. “I’m keeping it. It was a gift.”

Victor breaks into a smile, as if he’s pleased that Yuuri doesn’t want to relinquish his cum-stained replacement cloth. “Okay. Just don’t let your next heat partner find it,” he jokes. 

Yuuri nods. He doesn’t want to think about his next heat partner. Because in two years from now, he won’t be with Victor. He’ll most likely be retired, even if he doesn’t know what he’ll do after he retires. Maybe help with the onsen. In that case, he might ask Shoji, whether he’s still in the business or not. 

Victor’s hand moves from his waist downwards, pulling Yuuri out of his thoughts. He can dream, can’t he? That in two years he could ask Victor to share his heat again, assuming they’re still in contact and Victor is still single. Victor’s hand rests on the top curve of his ass, and Yuuri’s spine tingles all the way down to where he’s touching, heat growing there. 

“I don’t-” Yuuri swallows because what he’s about to say might change things, “I don’t care about saving things for my heat, by the way.”

Victor’s fingers clench in the soft flesh for a brief second. “You don’t?” he asks. 

“I mean, it’s not unusual for heat partners to have sex leading up to the heat week. Hormones and pheromones are at a high, so usually both parties are… receptive.” Yuuri is definitely receptive. If they can talk about it now, then maybe before his heat, if the opportunity arose again, it would be okay.

“Are you?” Victor asks. “Is it something you’ve done with your other heat partners?”

“With who?” Yuuri asks, too caught up in the possibility of getting to have sex with Victor right now, or even just before his heat hormones set in. 

“The other people you’ve shared your heats with. Did you have sex before you heat?” Victor asks, pulling at Yuuri’s ass a little so he slides a little closer. 

“Well, no, uh,” Yuuri thinks back even though he knows that he’s never had sex outside of his heat before. “I hired both Katashi and Mark, so the contract states that sex is only during heat.” He explains a little. Hired heat partners usually don’t offer sex outside of heats, mostly because they won’t be paid for it. It’s the thin line that distinguishes them from regular sex workers, although the two aren’t exclusive. 

“And Phichit?” Victor asks, a look passing across his face. 

Yuuri isn’t sure why, exactly, Victor has been slightly jealous of Phichit this whole time. “He’s a friend, that’s it,” Yuuri clarifies, “so, no. We’ve never had sex outside of my heat.”

“And I am?” Victor asks. 

Yuuri tenses. He doesn’t have a good answer for that. He doesn’t really know what Victor is. There are so many layers to their relationship that it’s hard to tease apart exactly what they are to each other. “Neither,” is all Yuuri can give. He’s neither a paid heat partner, nor is he a friend like Phichit. He’s not Yuuri’s lover, either, and he’s not simply his coach. 

“Then, well, we probably shouldn’t have sex outside of your heat if you normally don’t,” Victor suggests. 

It’s what Yuuri has been expecting: not outright rejection, but it’s still a denial of anything sexual that isn’t related to his heat specifically. If he was unsure whether Victor feels sexual attraction to him outside of his heat, then here's his answer. Victor only wants this because it’s his heat. Yuuri has to remember that before he does something stupid. “Yeah, okay,” he agrees. 

Victor frowns, looking him over, probably noticing some of the tension in Yuuri's shoulders. Then, after he bites his lip in thought for a moment, Victor amends his statement. “But I know how finicky hormones are. So, maybe, if something does happen, if it  _ feels okay _ , then it wouldn’t be too much of a problem, right? Just not… sex.”

“Not. Sex. But?” Yuuri tries to clarify, the tingling feeling intensifying right where Victor’s hand is resting. 

“Well, you already know that I had an orgasm because of you last night,” Victor says, without blushing surprisingly, “so it wouldn’t be too different to see it in person.”

“Okay,” Yuuri says softly, feeling weak. Is Victor suggesting they might have mutual orgasms? Because he’d be fine with that, even if it sounds slightly embarrassing for him. Because seeing Victor orgasm? He wants that. He wants to know he can make Victor cum just by being himself, without the heat and the pheromones interfering. “That sounds good.”

“Good. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, we have your heat.” Victor reiterates. 

“What about kissing?” Yuuri finds himself asking, if only because after last night, he doesn’t know if he can wait until his heat to feel Victor’s lips on his again.

“Kisses?” Victor looks surprised Yuuri brought it up. 

“Well, we did last night. And I liked it.” Yuuri pauses, checking Victor’s reaction, but so far he’s not rejecting the idea. “And if you’re worried about it, I have kissed heat partners before my heat, so, well, that’s fine.” He adds it just because that seemed like the main reason Victor suggested the ‘no sex’ rule. 

“Oh. Alright.” Victor says, blinking. “In that case, can I get another chance?”

“Another chance?” Yuuri asks. “For what?”

“To fix the kiss.” Victor responds. 

“To fix…” Yuuri trails off, understanding what Victor’s asking. 

“If the first one wasn’t perfect, maybe the second can be,” he says, leaning in. 

“Oh,” Yuuri says weakly, eyes darting down to Victor’s parted lips. Victor wets them in response. 

He leans in even closer. “Is this okay?” He murmurs as they’re inches from each other. 

Yuuri’s heart jumps, not expecting to kiss so soon, but now that the offer is in the air, he just wishes Victor would forget about niceties again and just kiss him. He answers, “of course.” 

The first press of their lips is soft and hesitant, like Victor is really is kissing him for the first time. Barely a brush. But it feels like sparks to Yuuri. 

He waits for Victor to lightly kiss him again before he responds. It's just the soft slide of lips and breathy sighs of contentment. It’s slow, and wet when Victor deepens it with his tongue - darting out to taste Yuuri’s lips. 

Yuuri rests one hand on Victor’s bare chest, feeling the way his heartbeat is racing just like Yuuri’s own, his other, free hand clenches in the fabric of Victor’s loose pants at his hip. 

Victor rolls towards him slightly, pushing Yuuri back into the mattress with a firm hand to his shoulder, kissing him the entire way, using more tongue with each inch Yuuri moves. Victor braces himself above Yuuri, the kiss having gone from sweet to dirty in the few moments while Yuuri was revelling in the sparks the contact had brought. 

Now it’s just smouldering heat. Victor’s hot body on top of his, the press of his lips and tongue against Yuuri’s own. He’s giving back as much as he can - responding to the soft, wet sounds of their lips, his tongue touching Victor’s in response. He dares only to react; content to let Victor lead this to wherever he wants it to go. 

Despite how fantastic it is to be kissing Victor, it’s still not perfect. They’re laying down so it’s at an awkward angle, they’re still new to each other’s bodies so their teeth have clacked together more than once, and they both have morning breath, which isn’t the sexiest of options. But somehow, the flaws are what actually make it all that more perfect a moment. It’s real. Just the two of them. 

“Yuuri,” Victor groans as he pulls away, pressing firm, open-mouthed kisses down the side of Yuuri’s neck. 

Yuuri pushes his head back into the pillows to allow Victor better access. There’s only so far Victor can go, though, with Yuuri’s sleep shirt in the way. The hand that’s not bracing him above Yuuri skims down his side, stuttering over his hips like Victor’s trying so hard not to touch the more intimate places of him. 

Which is probably a good idea because Yuuri’s definitely reacting to the attention - to Victor’s focused actions. There’s still that warm feeling at the base of Yuuri’s spine and now that it’s persisting, Yuuri thinks he knows what it means. 

Victor’s lips leave his clavicle with a smack, and he stares up at Yuuri. “Is this better?” Victor asks, leaning up to press another small kiss on Yuuri’s lips. 

“Yeah,” Yuuri breathes, tangling his fingers in Victor’s short hair and pulling his down for another kiss, glad to take now that he’s been given permission. They kiss for several moments, only the sound of their parting lips and hurried breathes between them. 

Victor finally pulls away again with a moan. “We should…”

Yuuri knows he’s going to say ‘stop’. Because Yuuri did the same thing to him last night: gotten them both hot and bothered and stopped everything. Just because they might have agreed to jerk off in each other’s presence doesn't mean that they need to jump right into it. No matter how full Yuuri’s dick feels. 

“Can I spoon you?” Victor asks. 

Yuuri’s surprised. It’s not something he was expecting to be asked. In fact it’s almost as surprising as Victor asking if he likes to be rimmed. And he’s just as excited as then too. “Sure,” he says, looking at the way Victor’s eyes are dilated in arousal. 

Victor slumps back to his side, but instead of pulling Yuuri to face him again, he tugs a little and rearranges Yuuri so his back is against Victor’s chest, ass slotted against Victor’s hips. Victor wraps his arms around Yuuri’s waist to hold him tightly. 

Yuuri can feel Victor’s erection pressing against the crease of his butt, hard, but not insistent. “Ignore it,” Victor mutters into Yuuri’s neck. “It’s just a normal morning reaction,” he says, but they both know that isn’t the only reason. 

“I don’t mind,” Yuuri says, trying not to wiggle too much to get comfortable, otherwise Victor might think he’s trying to be a tease again. It’s a strange thing to think that he’s getting used to the press of Victor’s erection against him, but he’s felt it several times now. If only he could see it as well, and not in a photo. “This feels nice,” Yuuri starts, very happy with the say they’re cuddled, “but don’t we have things to do?”

“Mmn,” Victor agrees, nose right behind Yuuri’s ear. “If we’re going to postpone this morning’s practice, we might as well make the most of it.” He presses a kiss to the skin right at Yuuri’s nape. It’s light, but definitely carries meaning. Then another.

Each press of lips to Yuuri’s neck does nothing to abate his erection. But he doesn’t do anything about it, just enjoys the attention he’s receiving, loving the way Victor’s plush lips feel against his skin, savouring the weight of Victor’s arms around his middle. 

His kisses progress downwards until he’s gone as far as possible, kissing the top of Yuuri’s back where his shirt has slipped far enough down to reach. Victor’s eyelashes flutter against the back of Yuuri’s neck. Yuuri has to squirm then, because although it’s a tender moment, he’s also fairly ticklish. 

“You okay?” Victor husks, voice low in his ear. 

Yuuri feels the warm tingling at the base of his spine slowly unfurl with Victor’s words. “Fine,” he tries not to gasp. He can feel it - his body is starting to produce slick. There’s a strange feeling of wet, of slide, right between his cheeks. 

Sometimes the slick production, the natural lubrication his body produces to help with all the sex that's supposed to occur during his heat, comes early, sometimes it’s not right until his heat hits. This time it seems it’s ahead of time, probably because he’s been steeping in Alpha scent for days now and his body is trying to preemptively react to what might happen. 

It's embarrassing that he's so aroused, reacting to Victor so fully, that he's producing so early on. Especially if his heat is still two days away. He wonders if Victor can smell it on him. He feels the need to clean himself up, but right now there's no point because it's such a small amount and there's nothing he can do about it. 

“Victor,” he says slowly as Victor starts kissing back up his neck. 

“Mmn?” Victor hums as he kisses right at the junction of Yuuri's shoulder and neck. 

“When my heat starts, I know you said you weren't sure about a two-way bond,” Victor does stop kissing him at that, mouth pressed against Yuuri's skin, “but, at the very least, could I have a one-way bond?” 

“You'd like that?” Victor mumbles, going back to kissing Yuuri's neck. He seems excited to have been given permission to kiss Yuuri, like he's making up for lost time. 

“Yes. I don't mind being bonded when it's someone I'm comfortable with.” Yuuri reminds him. He's not the one hesitant about bonding. “You can decide which one of us you're more comfortable having a bonding bite,” Yuuri suggests. He doesn't think he minds either way. He just wants the connection. 

“Alright,” Victor says and presses one last kiss right at the spot where he'd give Yuuri a bonding bite. 

They lay there, Victor curled around Yuuri, until their erections have almost fully dissipated. And then they only move when there’s a light knock on the door. 

“Hey, lovebirds,” Mari’s voice comes from outside the shoji divider for Victor’s room. “Mom sent me up here to make sure you were missing practice on purpose instead of accidentally sleeping in, or Yuuri’s heat starting.” Yuuri understands why his family would like to know. He'll try to text his sister when his heat actually hits. “DON’T give me details,” she says quickly, “just say ‘yes’ if you’re okay.”

“Yes, we’re fine, Mari,” Victor answers for them. “Just having a quiet morning.”

“Okay. Tell Yuuri he has a package waiting downstairs for him.” She says before leaving.  

Victor mouths ‘package?’ at him. Yuuri knows immediately what it is - his toys have arrived. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe they spent the whole chapter in bed. What lazy assholes. There’s still just a bit more before Yuuri’s heat comes, mostly last minute preparations. Although, we should be excited to see what Yuuri does with all his new toys. 
> 
> This was honestly only about a quarter of what I actually wanted to write for this chapter, but they just kept talking. Which is okay because I just wanted a bit of sweetness to counteract all this spice we have (and are going to get).
> 
> If you want to be in on when I might post (and get teasers and drabbles), please find me on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com).


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished writing this about 10minutes ago, so I apologise if there are any blatant errors.
> 
> Life has been really crazy this week (and super stressful) for me, so I hope this chapter gives everyone a little bit of joy. Your lovely comments have really been the bright spot of my week, so thank you.

“We should get up,” Yuuri says, not moving from Victor's hold. 

“Probably,” Victor says, not moving either. Yuuri revels in the warmth of Victor's embrace.

After a moment, Victor rouses himself; fingers trailing over Yuuri’s arm, fingertips on skin, as he shuffles out the other side of the bed, narrowly avoiding Maccachin who’s still snoozing in the far corner. Yuuri turns over to watch his back as he rolls up to sit on the edge of the bed, muscles moving fluidly under his skin, pale and toned. Victor runs his fingers through his hair and looks back over his shoulder at Yuuri. 

“What first? Toys? Mattress?” Victor asks. 

Yuuri rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He would love nothing more than to bring the toy package up to Victor’s room and open it together, here on the bed. But he has a feeling that if he opens the package now the two of them won’t make it to practice. Or they’ll forget about important things like the mattress. 

“Mattress and scent blockers first,” Yuuri says logically, “then practice.” It might be one of the last practices he can squeeze in before his heat, so he has to show dedication, even though he'd much rather just stay in bed with Victor the whole day and rub themselves together, entangling their scents even more. 

“Okay,” Victor agrees without the reluctance Yuuri’s feeling. “But you'll need to get off the mattress so we can move it,” he teases. 

Yuuri groans, but slowly moves to get out of bed as well. 

Maccachin opens one sleepy eye when Victor nudges him to move him off the bed. “Come on, картофель,” he urges the poodle, “you have to move.”

Yuuri yawns, stretches, and then pads over to the hallway. He’s still tired, so moving the small mattress out of his room is a lot of effort. He ungracefully flips it on its side and pushes it out of his doorway. Maccachin is bounding out of the room when he manages to get his mattress into the hallway. The poodle is down the hallway before Yuuri can stop him - probably gone to ask Mari to take him for a walk (which Mari complains about, but doesn’t actually mind). 

Victor helps him push his mattress into the room and slide it up against his bedframe on the far wall. Yuuri makes a second trip to bring in the drawer from under his bed that’s still resting on his desk. Victor eyes it like even the place where the cloth stayed offends him, but he doesn’t say anything when Yuuri sets it on the couch. 

“Well, my room should be clean now,” Yuuri says, wiping his hands on his pajama pants, looking at how large Victor’s mattress is. It’ll be a tight squeeze, for sure. 

“Shall we?” Victor asks, moving to the corner of the bed. The duvet and the top sheet are rolled up out of the way already. The faint smell of Victor is still noticeable when Yuuri digs his fingers under the edge of the mattress. 

They give each other a quick look and both pull at the same time, the mattress sliding out of the bed frame. Yuuri can already tell it's heavy and will probably cause them more struggle than necessary. But even just thinking about how he’ll get to sleep on  _ Victor's  _ bed, surrounded by his Alpha pheromones is enough to spur Yuuri into tugging on the mattress again. 

It takes a good fifteen minutes of pulling, pushing, and cursing at it (in at least four of the languages they know between them) before they get it into his room, and while Yuuri appreciates being able to see Victor's shirtless biceps flexing, he also thinks he's completed his workout for the day. The mattress must weigh over 400lbs. 

It barely fits in Yuuri's small room, even edged into the far corner with just enough space they can walk around it without hitting their knees on his desk. Getting to half of his closet is going to be difficult. 

“Wow,” Victor breathes hard, sitting on the edge of the mattress where they're leaving it on the floor, his legs stretched out towards the door. “I haven't ever had to move something like this before. I didn't know they weighed so much!”

Yuuri lies back on the bed, wiping the thin bit of perspiration of his forehead. He stares at the ceiling and thinks about the time he moved in with Phichit back in Detroit. The two of them had carried Yuuri's mattress up two flights of stairs. But that had only been a twin, not a king size like this. “I'm going to need breakfast after this for sure,” he says. 

Victor laughs, and leans back with Yuuri, resting his head on Yuuri's stomach. “We should probably get dressed too.”

“Still need to install the scent blockers,” Yuuri reminds him. Better to get it done now instead of forgetting about it. His hand finds its way into Victor's hair, stroking gently. 

“Riiight,” Victor drawls. “Getting ready for a heat is a lot of work,” he says offhand. 

Yuuri laughs at that, “Yeah, it is. Good thing it's only once every two years, right?” 

Victor glances up to him. “I don't know. Might be worth it to have one every year,” he says with a smirk. 

“Too much stress for not enough payoff,” Yuuri says, gently pulling out a small knot in Victor's hair with his fingers. 

“Not enough payoff?” Victor asks, shuffling so he's facing towards Yuuri, cheek pressed against Yuuri's ribcage. “You're not going to have, like, three orgasms the whole week, right? That's not what you meant when you said you had stamina.”

Yuuri laughs again at how seriously Victor is looking at him. “No, god, no. Quite the opposite in fact. Refractory period most men would weep at,” he admits. “I kind of… just, keep going?”

Victor gives him a heated look, then digs his nose into Yuuri's side, sniffing. “I can't wait,” he says, muffled by Yuuri's shirt. 

“Me either,” Yuuri admits softly, fingers still carding through the soft silver hair. 

Victor's eyes flutter shut, as if he's enjoying the small touches Yuuri is giving him. After a moment, though, he slowly turns and shuffles up towards Yuuri's face. He leans in when he's close enough and presses another kiss to Yuuri's lips. No tongue this time, just the warm weight of Victor's full lips. 

“We should get the scent blockers finished soon,” Victor says when he pulls away. “So we can get to the ice rink before Yuko’s afternoon class comes in.”

“Right,” Yuuri agrees a little lightheaded. He's laying on Victor's bed in his room, the promise of sex still a very real possibility, and he's just been kissed tenderly by the gorgeous man. He's allowed to be a little dazed by the situation. 

“I'll go get the package, then,” Victor says, gracefully standing. “I'll be back,” he smiles softly at Yuuri who's still lying on the bed. 

Yuuri waits until Victor has left the room before he turns over and buries his face in the sheets. The warm, spicy scent of Victor fills his nose. It's not as good as the real thing, but at least he can shamelessly spend hours taking the scent in. He couldn't possibly ask Victor for that kind of time. 

By the time Victor returns, dressed for the day and carrying both packages, Yuuri has brought out some of Victor's and his own clothes from where he'd stashed them in his closet before they’d started moving the beds and has begun to artfully arrange them on the bed and around the edges, amplifying their combined scent. 

Victor smiles fondly at him and places the two boxes on his desk. “Should I get the covers too?” He asks. 

Yuuri nods from where he's positioning one of Victor's shirts near the bottom of the bed. Victor returns moments later with the sheet and duvet. He hands them to Yuuri instead of putting them on the bed, letting the Omega lay them out. 

“Lovely,” Victor praises when Yuuri stands to admire his work. Yuuri feels the back of his neck grow hot in an autonomous reaction to Victor's words. 

He's already feeling better now that he can see his little nest coming together. Victor nods towards the package on the desk and Yuuri carefully opens it with the scissors in his desk drawer. 

The scent blockers are actually very easy to install, and they even manage to get them affixed to the window without having to find a ladder to work from outside. When Yuuri closes the door he can already feel how intimate the room is. It’s as if his and Victor’s scents are trapped there around them. 

Victor eyes the package with Yuuri’s toys on the desk as if he’s just as excited as Yuuri to look at them. But Yuuri has already promised himself they’ll get in at some practice and a workout today. His reward for getting through that will be opening the package, and maybe using one of them tonight on himself to take the edge off. He’s been aroused for days, and Victor being so close certainly hasn’t been helping at all. 

“Ice Palace?” Yuuri suggests. 

Victor grabs his wrist and pulls him in for a kiss. Just a few seconds where they’re pressed together. “Yeah, I’m good to go now,” he says when he pulls back from a dazed Yuuri. “But you should probably get dressed.”

“I, uh, yeah,” Yuuri agrees, only vaguely noticing that he’s still in his pyjamas. 

“The sooner we get to practice, the sooner we’ll finish. And,” he glances over at the package, “the sooner you can open that.” Victor gives him a wink, then leaves so Yuuri can change in peace, making sure the door closes behind him.

* * *

 

It feels strange to skate. Yuuri’s skin feels itchy, like his body can’t stand that Victor is half a rink away. There are a few other younger skaters on the ice as well since they arrived so late in the day, so it’s not like Yuuri can push Victor up against the boards and ravish him like he wants to. And it’s not as if Victor can call out kinks like has before. 

The both of them are quiet as Yuuri practices the moves he’s asked. It seems like Victor doesn’t dare touch him either because where Yuuri would usually get a hand on the shoulder, or a correction of posture, Victor just talks in low tones, brisk and professional. 

There’s nothing professional about his gaze, however. The way his eyes drag over each curve of Yuuri’s body, his stare that’s on Yuuri’s ass instead of his feet as he runs through parts of the free skate program, is downright salacious. 

They leave the rink even though they still have another half hour of practice. Yuuri’s glad for it too since the slick he began to feel this morning has increased. It’s not to the point where he might be soaking through his underwear, but he can absolutely feel the slide of his ass cheeks when he walks.

“Mmmn, it’s a little warm in here today, isn't’ it?” He asks as they both step into the empty dressing room. Yuuri pulls his shirt up over his head without even waiting to take his skates off. 

He’s glad they’re alone in the back room right now. He’s being so obvious. He knows he shouldn’t be flaunting his Omega scent either, but he gets caught up in the way Victor’s adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. 

“Oh, I guess I should take my skates off,” Yuuri says, throwing his shirt onto one of the benches and then, instead of sitting down like any normal skater would, he bends over, right there in the middle of the room, reaching for his laces. 

He can hear the ‘thud’ and the little curses Victor makes as he smacks his shin against one of the other benches. 

“You okay?” Yuuri asks, peeking over his shoulder to see a light blush high on Victor’s cheekbones. 

“Fine,” Victor gets out before sitting on the bench behind Yuuri, fingers trembling as he unlaces his own skates. 

It takes a bit of effort for Yuuri to get his skates off while standing up, but it’s worth it because by the time Yuuri’s finished, Victor has only undone the bow on one skate, frozen, staring at Yuuri. “Did you need help?” Yuuri teases when he straightens. 

Victor’s hands seem to work again after Yuuri’s spoken, but they only get as far as pulling the laces from the hooks when he stops again as Yuuri flicks open the button on his pants. 

“Just want to take a quick shower,” Yuuri says. “Just to cool off.” He pulls open his zipper and starts sliding out of his pants. Victor makes a keening noise in the back of his throat. Yuuri’s good enough to keep his underwear on, just incase anyone else might have need for the change room right now. He steps out of his pants, places them on top of his shirt, grabs the small towel he keeps in his skating bag and makes his way to the shower stalls at the back of the room. He dreams that Victor will follow him, skates and all, maybe, to the shower. 

But he’s left alone as he takes the quickest of showers. He even has to look for Victor after he emerges and gets dressed again, finding him outside the front doors staring out towards the sea. 

“To the gym?” Victor asks once they’re standing together. His eyes stay fixed on Yuuri’s face, refusing to go any lower. 

“Yeah, the gym,” Yuuri agrees.

* * *

 

They make it back home much later than usual since they got started late. Yuuri bends over just as Victor’s stepping up into the main room in socked feet, shrugging his jacket off. Yuuri picks up his coach’s shoes without hesitation, but resists the urge to take Victor’s jacket as well. 

Victor watches him carefully, a little confused, as they make their way to Yuuri’s room. 

“I’ll need those tomorrow,” Victor says with a little laugh when Yuuri places the shoes just inside his bedroom door. 

“I know,” Yuuri mumbles, a little ashamed. “But just for now…” When it’s this close to his heat he can’t help his nesting impulses at all.

“Okay,” Victor says, but then catches a glimpse of what’s on the desk. “Is that my plate from breakfast?” He asks, touching the dish lightly. 

Yuuri knows his face is red. With shaking hands he reaches into the pockets of his pants. 

“And my waterbottle?” Victor marvels at the small things Yuuri’s managed to squirrel away in his room since this morning. 

A little shamefully, Yuuri gently takes the kleenexes Victor had used today at practice out of his pockets and puts them on top of the plate. He knows he doesn't really want the items in his room, especially since he finds it so embarrassing, but he’d had a moment seeing the tissues on the edge of the boards today. He’d thought about how when he was younger he’d have given anything for something Victor had used, no matter what it was, and he just couldn’t bring himself to let them be thrown away. 

“Wow,” Victor says softly, looking at Yuuri’s ears that are probably bright red. “This is my last shirt,” he says, touching the white v-neck, “so now that you’ve taken all my clothes you’ve moved on to other things?”

“Can’t help it,” Yuuri flusters. 

“It’s fine,” Victor says, grabbing one of Yuuri’s tense hands in his and rubbing this thumb soothingly over Yuuri’s knuckles. Yuuri wants to kiss him for it, but there’s something else he’d rather do right now.

“I guess we should open this,” Yuuri says, reaching with his free hand to the package that’s still sitting on his desk next to the plate. 

“Yeah, we should,” Victor agrees. He lets go of Yuuri’s hand in favour of grabbing the scissors from earlier and snipping open the top of the brown box. He doesn’t open it any further though, letting Yuuri pick it up. 

Yuuri looks between the bed and the desk, deciding that he would rather open everything on the bed where Victor can sit next to him. Victor looks both nervous and excited, and although he follows Yuuri to the bed, he finds a place at the back of the mattress next to the covers where he can sit with his back propped up against the wall. 

Without shame, he opens his legs immediately and gestures for Yuuri to make him comfortable between them. “You’ve been craving closeness, my scent, all day,” Victor explains, “we’re here now, why not take the opportunity?”

It’s true, but Yuuri knows it’s not just him that’s been craving contact all day. Victor had tried his best to be professional, make sure he was using his words instead of his hands today, but it was still obvious, even to Yuuri, that he’d wanted to touch. Their cuddling session this morning hadn’t satiated them, only fuelled their desire. 

And now they’ve discussed touching,  _ kissing _ , freely, Yuuri finds he doesn’t want to stop himself. So he hesitates for only a second before crawling to sit in between Victor’s legs, shuffling so his ass is pressed against Victor’s pelvis. Victor leans forward to press his chest against Yuuri’s back and curl his arms around Yuuri’s middle. Yuuri relaxes into the embrace.

Victor presses his nose against Yuuri’s nape, pressing a couple light kisses down the nubbles of his spine.  “What are you waiting for?” Victor asks when Yuuri just sits there and appreciates the intimate act. 

At the prompt, Yuuri pulls the package close to them so he can finally open it. There’s some stiff brown paper inside to act as a cushion, and Yuuri appreciates that everything smells sterile instead of having a faint tang of whoever packaged it. 

Under the paper is the first item. The plug set. He pulls it out and can feel Victor hum in appreciation as he turns it over in his hands. It’s a set of four black silicone plugs, nicely tapered. The first three don’t differ much in size, just a gradual increase, but the last one, the extra large looks a little intimidating. 

He wonders for a moment if he might want to use them soon. If he’s starting to produce slick, then depending on when his heat comes, he might need to use the smallest one to stop any excess lubrication. Plus, it would mean he would already be a bit stretched by the time his heat hit, so Victor probably wouldn’t need to prep him as much before diving right in. 

It’s an option he’ll have to consider, for sure. He shifts his hips a bit to get more comfortable and he imagines having one of the plugs in right now, the way it would be sitting inside of him, so close to Victor’s dick. He imagines his heat starting now and how Victor would only have to pull down both their pants, pull out the plug and slide right in. 

“Excited?” Victor purrs against his neck, pulling him out of his small daydream. He can probably tell Yuuri’s becoming aroused because he’s probably gushing pheromones right from the gland in his neck that Victor’s nose is next to. 

“Yeah,” Yuuri admits, willing himself to put the plugs to the side. He’ll have to clean them later so they’re all ready to go if he decides to use them. 

The next item he pulls out is the large bottle of silicone lube, and it takes just one more look into the box to find the bottle of the water-based lube as well. Those get put on the floor just at the top of the mattress where they’ll probably stay until Yuuri’s heat is over. It’s not like anyone besides Victor is allowed in his room right now, so there’s no chance he’ll be embarrassed about the set-up they have. 

“Keep going,” Victor urges, resting his chin on Yuuri’s shoulder so he can watch. 

The next item Yuuri pulls out is the anal beads. He’d chosen the purple colour instead of the pink, and they actually look really nice. They’re a little light and see-through because of the TPE material, but the size looks manageable, which is the only thing he was a little worried about because it’s hard to judge on a website. 

“That’s exciting,” Victor nods. “I really think you’ll like them, especially if you like being knotted.”

“Knots,” Yuuri mutters, putting the beads aside and looking into the box for the knotting dildo he’d ordered. It's easy to find because it's the largest item tucked against the side of the box. 

It's actually a nice flesh colour and Yuuri automatically compares it to his favourite blue one in his toy box. It’s bigger, for sure, but a little slimmer, if he’s remembering correctly. While it looks just like a normal dick, it has a short hand pump attached to the base to inflate the knot. 

Victor makes a noise behind him. “I'm hoping you won't really need that one,” he says, “now that you have me.”

Yuuri would love to agree, but there's never been a time where his partner hadn't had to resort to artificial means to keep him satisfied. “We’ll see,” he says. He snaps open the packaging to pull it out. It has a soft, silky finish, and feels decently weighty in his hand. 

If the manufacturing specs are to be believed, it’s larger than Victor has said announced he is and Yuuri wonders if he's intimidated by the toy. He shouldn't be because plastic will never compare to flesh, especially when it's Victor. 

He tries the inflation mechanism to see how large it will go. At least with the hand pump he gets a certain control over how big he wants the knot. And it does seem to inflate to a large size. “How does this compare to your knot?” Yuuri finds himself asking. 

“Dunno,” Victor says as he takes one hand from around Yuuri's waist to grab hold of the toy base, judging the knot size with his hand. “I’ve never really measured. Plus, I don’t usually knot outside of sharing someone’s heat.”

“Really?” Yuuri asks. “Isn’t knotting supposed to feel fantastic?”

“Yes, it does,” Victor tells him, “but I never really found someone I was comfortable enough with to knot outside of Omega’s heats.” Yuuri remembers that Victor’s like him, keeping his secondary gender out of public scrutiny. 

“But what about when you masturbate?” Yuuri asks, and then flushes because he didn’t mean to be so forward. 

“Hmm, not really,” Victor mumbles as Yuuri busies himself deflating the knot on the toy and putting it back in it’s packaging. “I don’t ever really pop knots when I jerk off. It pales in comparison with the real thing, you know? So I’m always left feeling like something’s missing if I do.”

“Oh,” Yuuri says, unsure of how to respond to that. If Victor doesn’t knot outside of heats, then it’s probably been a long time since he’s done it. Yuuri wonders how intense it will be for him. How intense that first round of his heat will be for them both. 

Victor’s the one who takes the knotting dildo from his hands and puts it with the plugs on the bed. He reaches into the box and pulls out the restraints. 

They’re just as nice as Yuuri was expecting once he gets them out of their plastic packaging. They’re leather with the ‘o’ ring on both cuffs, with a surprising amount of padding on the inside. 

“Try them on,” Victor suggests, taking one from Yuuri and unbuckling the strap. 

Yuuri lets Victor place it around his wrist and buckle it up so it’s just the right tightness. It feels comfortable, unlike the metal cuffs he used before, even compared to the fuzzy ones Phichit and he had used. He could probably spend hours tied up with these, and that’s an exciting prospect. 

Victor does the other wrist as well, then grabs both of the rings on the cuffs and tugs with one hand, forcing Yuuri’s wrists together and up and bit. “They seem alright. How do they feel?” He asks. 

“Good,” Yuuri breathes, feeling a tug behind his navel with every movement Victor makes to pull his wrists. 

“Your nipple clamps have a small chain, right?” Victor says,.“You could put the chain through these if you wanted,” he suggests. 

Yuuri melts against Victor’s chest, imagining how it would feel to have Victor pull on both at once. Or even how if he pulled with his wrists he’d end up pulling on his nipples. 

Victor lets go of the restraint rings, and Yuuri almost asks for him to pick them up again, but there’s still a couple things left in the box that he wants to unpackage, so he slowly undoes the cuffs and puts them off to the side as well. 

The next item he grabs is the ‘free gift’ he received with the order: the vibrating dildo. For some reason Yuuri was expecting it to be hot pink. But instead it’s actually a sleek black. The dildo is shaped realistically with a long shaft and a mushroomed head, even if it’s on the short side. It’s not exactly fancy; the vibrator control is attached by a long cord to the base of the plastic shaft, but the dark colour is more sexy than novelty. 

He opens up the package with only a slight struggle and is glad to see that batteries are already included and in place. Victor’s the one that pulls the plastic tab out of the controller so the batteries connect and he can turn it on. 

It hums to life in Yuuri’s hand. The base setting seems to be pretty subtle, but as Victor clicks through the options, it buzzes harder. It has four levels and what seems to be four more pre-programmed settings including ‘pulse’. 

“This is pretty nice,” Victor says what Yuuri’s thinking. They might be able to have a lot of fun with it, especially if Victor’s the one controlling it like he is now. 

Yuuri can’t help that’s he’s half-hard in his pants right now. He’s been thinking about the agreement they came to this morning - that if something were to spontaneously happen between them, they’d both be okay with it. 

In this position he can clearly imagine Victor just wrapping his hand around him and getting him off right here. He wouldn’t need any of the toys, just Victor’s hand on him and his voice in his ear. He’s that on edge. His heat is only a day or so away and his body is preparing for it. If Victor doesn’t get him off tonight, he’ll have to take matters into his own hands, so to speak. 

“The next one?” Victor asks, still holding on to the control. He takes the vibrator from Yuuri and puts it on the bed with everything else. 

Yuuri knows there’s just one item left, and he pulls it out. It’s in it’s own box, and Victor looks confused for a moment as to what it might be. But then, when Yuuri tosses the empty package box across the room towards his garbage can, Victor realises there’s just one thing they haven’t opened yet. 

“The glass one?” He says, but they both know that’s what it is.

Yuuri carefully tears off the plastic wrap and opens the opaque box. The glass dildo is nestled into some soft foam. Yuuri carefully pulls it out, afraid to drop it even though he knows it’s much tougher than that. It’s heavier than he expected and much prettier too. The main shaft is just clear glass, but there are blue swirls twisting up to the top, bulbous head. 

“I think you’ll like it,” Victor says. “They can handle a lot. Last much longer than any silicone toy. You can throw it in some hot water or in the freezer, if you like to experiment with temperatures.” Yuuri wonders if Victor’s tried that with one of his own, or with someone else. He seems like he’s speaking from experience. 

Yuuri runs his hands over the long shaft, feeling the nubbles of the swirls. It’s probably going to feel fantastic too, even though it’s just a simple dildo with no gimmicks. He figured he’d really enjoy this one anyway, if only because it was Victor that picked it out for him. 

“It’s longer than I thought,” Victor says, rubbing one hand along the top of Yuuri’s thigh. 

“It’s not bad, probably around eight inches,” Yuuri estimates. “I could deep-throat it no problem,” he adds. 

Victor’s grip tightens around his knee. “What?”

Yuuri turns to look at him a little. Victor’s staring at him. “I thought I told you I don’t really have a gag reflex. It’s useful in other situations, but it works out well for my heats.”

Victor doesn’t even respond, just leans in to kiss Yuuri. It’s an awkward angle to the kiss land right at the corner of Yuuri’s lips. He immediately twists so they can reach, Yuuri initiating the next kiss himself. He’s about to turn right around and just climb into Victor’s lap and ask if he wouldn’t mind trying one of the toys, or just trying out  _ them, _ together. 

But Yuuri’s phone buzzes in his pocket and Victor jumps, smacking his head against the wall. Yuuri’s hands immediately go to the back of Victor’s head in sympathy. He realises his phone is in the pocket that’s pressed up against the more intimate parts of Victor, so it’s no wonder it startled him so much. 

“Oh god, are you okay?” Yuuri asks, fingers trailing over his scalp to check for bumps. 

“I’m fine,” Victor moans, one of his own hands touching his head next to Yuuri’s fingers too. “Just surprised me. Who’s texting you?” He asks, squinting as he touches the tender spot. 

Yuuri puts some space between them so he can pull his phone out. It’s Mari. Telling him that supper’s ready. At least she had enough decency to text and not knock on the door. But still, Yuuri silent curses her timing. 

He would love nothing more than to forget about supper and continue with whatever was going on here, but Victor is still rubbing the back of his head and it’s not good to skip meals so soon before his heat - it might delay the onset until his body thinks it’s in a safe, food-rich place. 

“Mari,” he says, “It’s apparently time for supper.”

“Mmn,” Victor hums.

“We probably should,” Yuuri says. He hopes he’s conveying how inconvenient he thinks it is. 

“Alright, well, let’s do that, then.” Victor agrees. “Just remember to wash everything, right?” He nods his head towards the toys spread out on the bed right now. 

“Yeah, so they’re ready to use later,” Yuuri agrees. 

“Yeah, later,” Victor agrees. 

Yuuri backs off the mattress and stands, offering a hand to help Victor up, which is gratefully taken. It takes a bit of manoeuvring for them both to get to the door without knocking things over, Victor’s king bed taking up the majority of the space in the room. 

And just as they’re leaving, Yuuri has this weird moment when the door opens. He has this sudden feeling that they both can’t just leave everything like this. He grabs at the hem of Victor’s shirt. 

“Off,” he requests, his heart jumping a beat when Victor turns back to look at him. 

“My shirt?” Victor confirms. 

Yuuri nods. He needs the shirt. He needs it to stay here, in this room. He doesn’t care that Victor’s already told him it’s his last one. It was part of something intimate they just shared and his hormones are telling him that it has to stay behind. 

For the first time Victor hesitates for a moment. But he must see something in Yuuri’s expression, determination or desperation, Yuuri’s not sure, and he strips it off. 

“Just the shirt?” Victor asks, handing over the white tshirt without complaint. 

“The shirt should be fine,” Yuuri says, eyeing Victor’s bare chest before he carefully places the shirt on the bed next to some socks. 

“I think I have something you haven’t taken yet,” Victor says, pressing a finger to his lips. “I’ll meet you in the dining room, okay?” He says, then disappears down the hallway into his room that’s probably a mess right now. 

Yuuri almost feels badly for having gone through all of Victor’s things and taken most of his clothes. And he does feel badly that he’s taken Victor’s bed away from him and is storing his own things in there as well. But at the same time, Victor hasn’t complained once. He’s happily given Yuuri everything he needs. It puts a warmth in his chest just thinking of how supportive Victor has been even from the very beginning when Yuuri had requested time off practice. 

Victor arrives downstairs for dinner wearing a Hawaiian shirt. It’s bright, gaudy, covered in parrots, and so very cheesy, but Victor still makes it look good somehow. It must have been stored away separately from the rest of Victor’s clothes. Probably because Victor had never been meaning to wear it again. 

Mari sputters out a laugh when she sees it, but their parents are nice enough to not comment, their mother just dishing out soup for Victor when he sits down with them. Their dad is just finishing up as they sit down to eat - heading off to make sure the front desk isn’t left unattended. 

They’re all nice enough to not comment about Yuuri’s nesting habits, or what the two of them will be doing in a couple days, which Yuuri is very thankful for. Instead the dinner conversation centers around the weird new guy at the supermarket that Mari went to today. Apparently he has tattoos and a gruff exterior, so very like the character from a tv show Mari watches regularly.

Victor listens intently, and laughs with her when she jokes about the possibility of a Yakuza member paying off debts with a part-time job. Yuuri thinks it’s nice to see such camaraderie between them. It changes, though, when Mari leans over and tugs on Victor’s shirt collar to tell him how tacky his shirt is. 

Yuuri practically growls as her hand comes inches away from Victor’s neck. She doesn’t even touch him, just the blue parrot on the shirt collar and Yuuri’s on edge. Even though she’s family, Yuuri can’t stop the “Don’t,” that comes from his lips. 

They turn to look at him. 

“Don’t touch him.” Yuuri says without thinking about it. “Don’t look at him.”

“What?” Mari splutters, taking her hand back. Yuuri won’t be taking that shirt back to his room at least. 

Victor chuckles, “Yuuri, it’s fine.”

“I know,” he says, trying to show embarrassment, but he’s still feeling a little too possessive to be sorry for snapping. “Just… don’t, okay?” Not when it’s this close to his heat. Not when he’s still feeling insecure about Victor wanting him. 

Victor puts down his almost finished soup. “Did you want me to take a shower or something?” He asks. 

Yuuri feels a sweep of relief when he thinks about Victor cleaning all the days scents away so it’s just his scent and maybe Yuuri’s. Which is ridiculous, really, because Mari didn’t even touch him. But just the idea of someone else's scent that close to his partner, even if it’s a beta, is making his skin itchy. 

“You can tell me,” Victor says. “Don’t worry. I told you weeks ago, I’ve been reading about pre-heats. It’s something that a lot of Omegas want when their heat partner comes home from work. Apparently it helps with anxiety about scents.”

“Yeah, okay,” Yuuri breathes. Mari is at least keeping quiet while they discuss it. 

“Now? Or did you want to finish eating?” Victor asks, eyeing their almost empty bowls. 

“Now.” Yuuri requests. He sends a glance at Mari as they stand up from the table. He hopes he can at least convey that he’s sorry they’ve left her with the clean-up again.

It doesn’t take long for them to go to the onsen, get undressed, shower thoroughly and slip into the hot pool out the back. 

“Feeling better?” Victor asks as he finds his usual spot to sit along the back wall. 

“Yeah,” Yuuri mumbles, embarrassment starting to creep in now that the possessiveness has passed. Victor’s skin is clean and Yuuri’s the only other person with him in the hot spring right now, so he’s feeling better. He wades over towards Victor, hoping to at least put some of his own scent back on his skin. 

Victor doesn't protest when Yuuri goes as far as to straddles his legs, practically sitting in his lap. 

“You must be close to your heat if you’re this sensitive,” Victor says, trailing his hands across Yuuri’s ribs. “I should have known you would be when you started taking all my clothes.”

“You don’t mind, do you?” Yuuri asks, running his hands along Victor’s neck. 

Victor shakes his head. “Not at all. I’ve never been so flattered.” 

Yuuri surges forward, kissing him deeply. Victor, for what he’s worth, takes it in stride, and kisses back as soon as Yuuri’s lips are on his. Yuuri’s so glad they agreed that kissing was allowed outside of heat. Now if only he could get Victor back to his room. 

They break apart when the door to the onsen opens followed by loud voices. 

Yuuri slides discreetly off Victor’s lap as a couple guests enter the hot spring. He contents himself to sitting next to Victor and pressing the outside of their thighs together. As long as he gets some alone time with him later tonight, he can pretend like they don’t want each other for a few minutes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> картофель - potato (I call my cats potatoes all the time because they’re lazy lumps. If figure it’s something Victor would do too.)
> 
> I was going to put a Yuuri-funtime scene at the end of this, but I think it’ll fit better with the next chapter, so you at least have that to look forward to. 
> 
> While looking up the exact items Yuuri would have purchased, I found a lovely set of butt plugs that had jewels on the end, and I totally wish Yuuri had bought them just so Victor could spend hours with Yuuri bent over, cheeks spread, admiring the way they looked in him. Oh well. 
> 
> Please keep commenting if you’re enjoying this. It really is a big motivation for me. I’d also love to know what you’re looking forward to during Yuuri’s heat.   
> (As always, come say ‘hi’ on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com) to see updates, teasers and drabbles.)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life has been super hectic yet again, but I promise at one point, when I have some down-time I’ll respond to all the lovely comments you guys have been leaving. I figure at this point my time is better spent making sure you get updates. <3
> 
> I know I’ve been promising steamy stuff for a long time, so I thought you guys actually deserved something a little more than what I’ve been giving you (and it’s right at the beginning too!!)

Yuuri stands in the hallway outside his bedroom with the sound of blood rushing past his ears. It hadn’t taken long for Yuuri to begin to feel uncomfortable in the onsen. The guests had been fine, but they’d given both Victor and Yuuri a look that seemed to mean they could smell the close-to-heat pheromones in the air. And they’d been in the same pool, the same  _ water _ , as Victor, and Yuuri just wasn’t sure how much incidental touching he could handle after Mari. 

He’d offered for them to go back to his room and Victor had followed him willingly, dressed only in one of the onsen’s robes. But before they can even get up the stairs, Victor’s phone is ringing. “Oh. I should probably get this,” he says, gesturing to his phone. Yuuri can’t read the name that’s appeared in Russian on the screen. 

Yuuri wants to ask ‘do you have to?’ or ‘wait until tomorrow’, but he knows he can’t demand those things of Victor. He can’t ask Victor to put aside important phone calls just so Yuuri can ask him to bed. Especially when he doesn’t know if they’d do anything worthwhile - he knows he’s going to get nervous about it, and that usually leads to panic instead of action. 

Victor tells Yuuri that he should go to bed early - get some extra sleep before his heat inevitably starts. Yuuri struggles not to ask if Victor will come sleep with him and make sure that his scent stay on the bedsheets, or if he’ll help make use of the toys still laying around on Yuuri’s bed. 

But Victor just wishes him a goodnight and answers his phone before the last ring without so much as a kiss on the cheek for Yuuri. 

It doesn’t hit him how upset he is by that until he’s standing in their hallway. His heart beats furiously because at some point he thought that maybe things would be different for them tonight. For no other reason than Victor had admitted to wanting to kiss Yuuri (had been doing it all day, really), and had seemed just as excited as Yuuri about his new toys. 

He casually opens the door to Victor’s room, wondering if he should try and wait for Victor there and then ask to spend the evening when he comes up to bed, but when he looks inside, there’s already a futon spread out on the floor. Because Yuuri hadn't told any of his family about moving Victor’s mattress into his room, the only reasonable explanation is that Victor had requested the extra bedding from his mother. Which can only mean that he isn’t expecting to stay in Yuuri’s room with him until his heat starts. 

He closes the door and slinks into his room, a little ashamed that he’s just assumed so many things today. He busies himself by gathering up all the toys that are still left on his bed, taking them to the bathroom, and cleaning each one individually. By the time he’s found places for all of them in his toy box and placed it by the bed, he can hear Victor with Maccachin in his room. 

He’s talking to the poodle in low tones, but it seems like he’s finished his phone call. Yuuri pauses for a moment, listening to the murmured sounds through the walls. He’s on edge, wondering if Victor might come to his room, holding out hope that he hadn't read the situation wrong today. But after five minutes of standing in the middle of his room, Victor hasn’t even opened his door. 

But he’s sure he wasn’t just imagining things. So he slowly slips off his clothes, feeling a little exposed as he ends up standing in his room completely naked. His skin is becoming sensitive and he’d rather not have pajamas between him and Victor’s sheets. 

He knows he won’t be able to entice Victor with his scent now that the scent blockers are affixed to his door, but there are other things that carry through the walls. Victor has already admitted that he’d been able to hear at least something when Yuuri had masturbated after Fukuoka. 

So now, he carefully finds the cloth Victor had given him in jealousy, pulling it out from its hiding spot in his desk drawer, the smell hitting him immediately. It’s not like his room doesn’t already smell like Victor with his mattress and all his clothes, but this cloth is so much more potent. Yuuri feels a wave of heat roll down his spine, touching the cloth and remembering why the scent on it is so strong. 

He places the cloth gently on top of his toy box, turns off the overhead lights with only his desk lamp on, and curls up on the mattress under the covers. He listens for Victor again, but everything seems quiet. He’s probably tucked into bed like Yuuri is. 

Making a decision, that’s probably based mostly on hormones, Yuuri reaches for his box, taking the cloth and then reaching inside for the one item he knows he has to use tonight. The glass dildo. 

Victor had specifically chosen it for him and it only seems fitting to use it now, thinking about him. 

He finds the silicone-based lube up by the top of the bed, fumbling to open the top and take off the security seal. He is producing some slick, but it’s not enough to ease the passage so he won’t get hurt. 

He places the cloth up by his face so he’ll be able to smell it, get close to it, without worrying about his hands. He pulls the covers back because he doesn’t want to get lube all over them. The water-based is easy to clean up, but the silicone isn’t. It’s sure long-lasting though, and he’s hoping that it isn’t going to just be him tonight. 

Dribbling some lube onto his fingers, he reaches down to smear it across his opening. It mixes with some of the slick there and he doesn’t waste time, pushing two fingers inside his already wet hole. 

“Mmnn,” he moans, lips pressed together. This is exactly what’s he’s been craving all day. That filled feeling. His heat must be close if he’s already craving something so lewd. 

He moans again as he curls in on himself so he can reach well enough to scissor his fingers and stretch himself.  His body is apparently relaxed because he opens easily after just a few minutes of work. 

He adds more lube to his fingers before trying for three fingers. He lets out a soft ‘ah’ as he pushes in, stretching even more. It takes even less time for him to feel fully open and ready to take the smaller girth of the glass dildo. 

He removes his fingers and reaches for the cloth, taking a long sniff of the deep-set scent of sex and Victor. He contemplates wrapping it around his hard and flushed dick to jerk off with, but somehow, if it’s not Victor’s hand, he knows it won’t be enough. 

He does grab the dildo then, loving the weight of it in his hands. It shines in the lamp light, clear with the translucent blue nubbly swirls. Knowing that Victor chose this specifically for him, he can’t help but be reminded of ice and Victor’s eyes. He pauses only for a moment, listening intently any sounds from Victor’s room. It seems quiet, but he can’t be sure because there is soundproofing between them and the smaller noises won’t carry. 

He squirts lube onto the dildo, rubbing his hand up and down to spread it around. The raised edges of the blue swirls feel nice under his palm and he can’t wait to see how it’ll feel pushing into him. He grabs the larger base with his clean hand so he has a good grip. The excess lube on his hand he’ll use to jerk himself off. 

He breathes deeply, taking in the scent of Victor all around him, and puts his plan into action. 

He purposefully lets out a loud moan as he presses the head of the dildo against his opening. He can hear a dull thud coming from Victor’s room and he hopes it’s because Victor’s heard him. 

If he’s loud enough, if Victor knows he’s in here getting himself off, he’s hoping that he’ll ask to come in to help. He presses the dildo in slowly, feeling how his muscles clench around it. It’s a little cool going in, but it heats up quickly inside him. 

There’s a lovely feeling as each nubble of the swirls passes his entrance. “Oh!” He gasps, slowly pushing the glass dick inside him. He arches his back in pleasure, and it pushes it inside him even further. 

Usually he’d turn over to get a better angle and to muffle any noises he’s making, but this time he indulges, even putting more vocalization behind his moans. He pants into the open air, slowly pumping the dildo inside himself, shivering with each push and pull. 

His hole squeezes around the intrusion, fluttering as the glass head pops in and out at the top of the stroke and over each bump in the decoration. He angles it up just a little and the tip brushes past that spot inside of him that sends tingles to his knees. 

“Oh, fuck,” he curses. There’s another thump that comes from Victor’s room. “Oh, ooooooh,” he calls out again, positive that Victor is listening to him. 

He makes a high-pitched whine as the dildo touches his prostate again and again.  But still, there’s no movement, no opening door, nothing from Victor’s end. 

Yuuri slides his lubed hand over and around his hard member and shudders at the intense euphoria it brings. He pumps again, sliding the glass dildo at the same pace. He imagines that it’s Victor fucking into him, jerking him off at the same time. 

“Victooor,” he whines, uncaring that he’s just named his fantasy. He takes his time, working the dildo slowly, pumping himself in time, at a teasing pace. 

He doesn’t stop any of the moans, the salacious sounds, that he pulls out of himself. He draws it out, hoping that it will give Victor time to decide whether he wants to join in or not. But still after a good fifteen minutes, Yuuri’s teetering on the edge and the only thing he’s heard over his own panting are a few telltale thumps from Victor’s room. 

But he’s so sure that the man is listening to him. And it’s everything combined together, the fantastic slide of the hard dildo inside him that Victor had chosen specifically for his pleasure, the possibility of Victor listening in, the cum-scented cloth on his pillow, the amped up hormones because of his close heat, that throws him over the edge. 

It surprises him a little, his orgasm. He’s been close for a while, and it’s nothing in particular that sets him off, although Yuuri’s sure he can hear a gasping moan from Victor’s side of the wall, but instead something tips and his orgasm tears through him. It makes the walls of his ass clench down on the toy inside him and splurts cum up across his stomach. He lets out a loud cry at the intense relief and endorphins that rush through his body. 

He lies there panting for a minute, hand cramping where it’s still holding onto the base of the dildo. As his heart rate decreases and he begins to get a bit chilled, he slowly pulls the toy out of him, his opening clenching at the space suddenly there. He can feel some extra slick his body has produced in arousal slide out of him with it too. 

He breathes in through his nose so he can quiet his deep breathing in order to listen for any sounds from Victor. But everything is silent. 

On shaking legs he gets up and slowly makes his way to the bathroom, cleaning the dildo thoroughly in the sink. He even steps into the shower shortly to rinse off any leftover lube and slick. He dresses in his pajamas immediately afterwards, feeling exposed again in the low-light of his room. 

He packs away the dildo into his toy box, placing Victor’s cloth in with it. He leaves it by the bed, though. 

Instead of going to bed, however, he grabs his phone, puts on some slippers (even though he eyes Victor’s shoes by the door for a moment), and heads out towards the onsen. He bypasses some of the onsen visitors who are both in the shower room and the bath and finds a secluded spot out by the hot water. There’s a large rock that he manages to balance himself on where he’s out of the way of any guests. 

He usually wouldn’t need to find a hiding space like this, but he doesn’t want to head outside into public when he’s so close to his heat. His clothes should stifle most of his scent, but the rest of it should be carried away by the rising steam. 

He finds Phichit’s name in his contact list and hits ‘dial’. He would rather facetime him, but he can’t do a video call in an onsen where people are probably naked. At least he’ll be talking in English so there shouldn’t be anyone able to listen in on his conversation.

“Yuuri?” Phichit asks, picking up on the fifth ring. 

“Phichiiiit,” Yuuri whines, so glad to hear his friend’s voice. He’ll know how to sort everything out. 

“Is your heat starting?” Phichit asks, a little concerned. 

“No, not yet,” Yuuri sighs. “It’s just… Victor,” he says without preamble. He doesn’t have time to dance around the issue today. He would usually be too ashamed to talk about things like this and spend ages letting Phichit coax it out of him, but he’s still relaxed from his orgasm and he just wants answers. 

“What did he do?” Phichit asks, voice turning sour, expecting the worst. He always thinks the worst where Yuuri’s concerned. Mostly because Yuuri doesn’t phone unless something is really wrong. 

“The problem is he  _ isn’t _ doing anything,” Yuuri huffs. 

“He’s… not?” Phichit says tentatively. 

“I-” Yuuri doesn’t know how to start. “I thought he might want me. Outside my heat.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Phichit responds. “But what’s the problem with that?”

“I thought we might have sex tonight. I was… I was certain that’s what should have happened.” Yuuri admits. He’s frustrated because after everything that’s happened today, after last night, he’s sure that’s where things had been headed. “But he didn’t ask. I even… I got myself off, Phichit. Loudly. So he could hear. And he didn’t come. He just wants me for my heat, obviously.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line that means Phichit’s thinking about the best way to address this. “Yuuri,” he says slowly. “He wants you. He does. You can’t judge everything based on one night, especially if you didn’t ask.”

“Well,” Yuuri says stubbornly, “if he does want me, and it’s not just because of my heat, why hasn’t he made a move?”

Phichit sighs. “You’re being an idiot,” he says, and there is a tone of fondness in it, but it’s also a harsh statement. “Yuuri, you’re anxious as fuck. You always have been. I’m sure Victor’s at least noticed that by now. Unlike me, he probably doesn’t know when to push and when to pull back. He’s just defaulting to the lesser of confrontations. He doesn’t want to hurt you.”

“Phichit. You don’t have to cosset me. It’s better if I don’t go into my heat thinking there’s any chance of something afterwards.” Yuuri clenches his teeth, hating that he has to think of going back to ‘normal’ after his heat is over. When that notification showed up on his computer three weeks ago, he never thought he’d end up here. He never expected his and Victor’s relationship to have changed so much. 

“Okay, look,” Phichit’s voice is harsh and tinny over the phone. “You’re doing it again, Yuuri. Remember that girl you went out with back in Detroit?”

“What? Which one?” Yuuri asks, startled at the change in topic. 

“The one you actually went out with. On two dates. Not the one that stalked you for three months and told everyone you were dating.”

“Cheryl,” he says, the name coming to him. They’d got out for coffee and then a movie. They’d held hands, blushed at each other across the table, and kissed at the end of the second date. But nothing more had come of it. Because Yuuri had refused to meet her again afterwards. 

“Yeah, you dropped her like a hot potato,” Phichit sighs. “You were so sure that she hated you and you refused to go out on another date because you thought she was doing it out of pity.”

“Well, I don’t usually like girls,” Yuuri tries, feeling a little ashamed now that he looks back at it. He hadn’t explained his reasoning when he told her he didn’t want to go on another date. 

“Yes, well, we know that now,” Phichit says, but directs them back to the main topic, “but she liked you. Actually liked you, Yuuri.”

Yuuri swallows, unsure what to say. 

“You can’t do anything about that now,” Phichit says softly, “so you shouldn’t worry about it, but damnit, Yuuri. Just because someone doesn’t come right out and tell you exactly how they’re feeling doesn’t mean they hate you. It doesn’t mean those feelings aren’t there either. You have trouble saying what  _ you’re _ feeling - why can’t you imagine that other people do too?”

“I-” Yuuri starts, but he can’t come up with any good rebuttal to Phichit’s honesty. 

“Okay, so, we can agree on that, right? That maybe you’re a little rash with your judgements about other people’s feelings.” Phichit urges Yuuri to admit it. 

“...Yeah, I guess,” Yuuri says quietly. 

“So maybe you’re being a little quick with your judgements about Victor? Maybe he’s like that girl - he likes you but just doesn't want to say anything right now.”

Yuuri sucks on his teeth, staying quiet. 

Phichit sighs because he’s used to Yuuri closing off like this when he’s called out on things. “Just… don’t rule anything out, okay? Because from everything you’ve been telling me, Victor certainly feels something for you. You need to ask him. Whether that’s tomorrow, during your heat, or after, I don’t know.”

“I don’t-” Yuuri starts to protest because that’s embarrassing - asking what his coach’s feeling for him are. He’s not in high school. 

Phichit cuts him off. “No. Yuuri. You need to be adult about it,” Phichit tells him roughly. “Tell him how you feel, no matter how much you don’t want to. Let him explain how he feels. Why he’s done the things he has. If you’re not open and honest, you can’t expect a good relationship to grow. Don’t you want to have a good, ongoing relationship with Victor? No matter how he feels?”

Yuuri swallows and manages to say, “Yes,” into the phone. He knows Phichit is right. It’s the reason his and Phichit’s friendship has been so successful - they don’t have any secrets. And it’s hard to hear, of course it is, but this is why he phoned Phichit: because sometimes he needs to hear the truth. 

“Okay, well, good.” Phichit says, probably not expecting Yuuri to cave so quickly. “So you’ll talk to him?”

“Ah, yeah, I guess,” Yuuri says, pushing his hair back from his face. His glasses are a little fogged up because of the hot steam, but it gives him a secure feeling, as if he’s safe because no one can see his eyes. 

“You promise you will?” Phichit asks again. 

“Yeah, I promise,” Yuuri says. He doubts he’ll be able to confront Victor before his heat starts, but afterwards… yes. When he’s not afraid of losing his heat partner, he might be able to find the courage. 

“Okay, good,” Phichit says firmly. “Any other problems you need me to fix?” He teases. 

“No, I think that’s it,” Yuuri laughs a little. 

“So, tell me then, how’s it going? Is your heat starting tomorrow? In a couple days?” Phichit sounds excited for him. 

“Two days,” Yuuri tells him, “but I’m already producing slick, so that’s awkward.”

“Mmmnn,” Phichit hums. “I remember that. You started producing slick two days before your heat with me. You didn’t even want to go to class.”

“It’s awkward to sit in a chair for over an hour like that,” Yuuri blushes. Somehow, moving around, working out, makes it less horrible. He doesn’t think he’d be able to sit still for long the way he is now. 

“I hope it works out for you,” Phichit says suddenly, sincerely. “I know how much you’ve liked Victor, after all these years.”

“It’s different,” Yuuri tells his friend. “It’s not the same admiration I used to feel. It’s… something else.”

“And I can promise you, Yuuri, that Victor feels something more than that for you too,” Phichit’s voice sounds sweet even over the crappy reception his phone is getting. “Everything that’s he done? Flying out to coach you, living with you, agreeing to share you heat? That’s not what normal coaches do. That’s… it’s what a boyfriend does.”

Yuuri’s heart clenches. The word alone sets him into a tizzy. He blushes, covering his face with the hand that isn’t holding his cellphone. “No, Phichit, it’s not-”

“Shhh,” Phichit shushes him. “Don’t tell me otherwise. Not until you actually talk to him.”

“Okay,” Yuuri agrees. 

“You’ll text me during your heat to let me know how it’s going, right?” Phichit asks. 

“If I can, yeah,” Yuuri agrees. There’s no harm in letting his friend know he’s alright. 

“Now stop hiding in the bathroom, or your room, or whatever,” Phichit says, knowing Yuuri too well that he can predict Yuuri’s isolated himself somewhere, “and either go to sleep to prepare for your heat, or go talk to Victor.” 

“Okay,” Yuuri says. “Thanks, Phichit. Really.”

“I know.” Yuuri can hear Phichit smile over the phone. “Night, Yuuri.”

“Night,” Yuuri says, pulling his phone away from his ear to end the call. He sighs, pocketing it. Phichit’s right - he has to talk to Victor. He can’t just make assumptions about what Victor wants. But when he goes back up to his room, the light is already off in Victor’s room, so he decides not to bother him (not that he’s really ready for that confrontation anyway), and tucks himself into his Victor-smelling bed alone.

* * *

 

“Were you teasing me last night?” Victor asks over breakfast the next morning. Yuuri looks up at him over the table. 

He’s already feeling on edge. He woke up with his pajamas almost soaked through with slick. He’d obviously been producing it during the night and it was just built up. Still, having to take another shower in the morning to clear it away hadn’t been the way he’d hoped to start the day. “What?”

“Last night,” Victor hisses back at him. “You were making sounds like that. When you knew I was awake and listening next door.”

Yuuri’s immediately awake. He looks around, but it’s so early there’s no one else in the dining room. Even his family is all still asleep. “Uh,” he says, blinking at Victor. 

Victor pushes his hair back from his face, staring at Yuuri. “Was it on purpose?” 

Yuuri feels the blush rush up his face. It’s one thing to have imagined Victor listening in on him, it’s another thing entirely to have Victor  _ tell _ him he’d heard everything. While normally he’d hide away and refuse to talk about it, his heat is so close and he can’t help but use some of his horniness to gain enough courage to say, “So what if it was?”

Victor splutters a little. Pushing his bowl away from him. “Sorry?” He asks, as if he doesn’t believe he’s heard Yuuri properly. 

“Maybe it was on purpose,” Yuuri says with a bit more confidence. 

Victor pretty much tosses his spoon into his bowl. Yuuri has no idea what the look on his face means. He’s not sure if it’s anger, or if it’s arousal. Or even if he looks a little impressed because Yuuri’s actually admitted he’s a tease. Whatever emotion Victor is feeling, he keeps it to himself. “And what am I supposed to do about that?” He asks in a smooth voice. 

“Well, not much you can do now,” Yuuri goes back to his breakfast. “Would have been useful last night,” he mutters. 

Across from him, Victor takes in a large breath. “I didn’t know,” he says slowly. 

Yuuri blinks up at him. It’s just like Phichit said. Yuuri hadn’t asked, just assumed that Victor had understood what he’d wanted. He thought it had been obvious, but it apparently hadn’t. “Well,” Yuuri says, swallowing. “Now you do.”

“Okay,” Victor says. Eyes sparkling. “Next time.”

“Next time,” Yuuri nods.

* * *

 

Victor has to retrieve his shoes from Yuuri’s room, and he looks extremely flustered after even just the few seconds he spends in the room. It must be steeped in Victor’s scent by now, not to mention Yuuri’s sex smell from last night. 

“Let’s go,” he prompts, practically pushing Yuuri out the front door. 

No matter when his heat starts, this will be Yuuri’s last time on the ice for a week. He might not even get to the workout today because he’s starting to feel the beginnings of heat under his skin. He should still be good for the day, but if he starts getting too itchy, or is letting off too many pheromones, he can call it off. 

But he doesn’t want to miss his last skate. Not when competitions are so close and he has to miss an entire week. 

“Just take it easy today,” Victor tells him as they both lace up. While it would be easy to push himself, knowing he’ll have a week off, his ‘week off’ isn’t going to be relaxing by any means. And a little injury now might be further compounded by excessive ‘exercise’ during his heat. 

He's glad that even Victor realizes that now is not the time to be pushing him because his legs feel a little wobbly. And even after a run of his short program without the jumps, he can feel slick gathering in between his legs. It makes skating a little distracting. 

But Victor is distracting, standing on the ice in sweats and one of Yuuri's shirts he'd been given his morning. 

Yuuri trembles as he finishes his second run-through and skates up to Victor. He wonders if he'd be more in control if Victor had been with him last night. Or if it might have made everything worse. 

Victor is just radiating Alpha pheromones. His body is trying to fill the entire rink space with his scent in an effort to calm Yuuri. It isn't calming him, just making him produce more slick. 

His whole body is preparing for his heat. Honestly, he's surprised his heat hasn't started early after being bombarded with Alpha hormones for so long. He'd assumed that he'd make it to lunch tomorrow before his heat started. Now, with the way his body is feeling, the amount of slick he's producing, he'd be surprised if he'll make it through the night. 

“Are you alright?” Victor asks. 

“Yeah, fine,” Yuuri says, but his body betrays him and his right knee buckles. He makes a weird move to stay on his feet. 

Victor automatically leans forward to catch him, even if he doesn't actually fall. The way he grabs Yuuri's hips, his thumb slips under the loose waistband of Yuuri's pants. 

Yuuri's skin heats just under the small touch, the slide between his legs intensifying. 

“Did you want to stop?” Victor asks. He's never asked Yuuri that before - just pushed him until the end, even when Yuuri had wished he could have a break. 

“No,” he refuses. He's not weak, even right before his heat. 

Victor eyes him, thumb rubbing across his skin in comfort. “Can I skate with you?” He asks instead. 

Victor hasn't skated his program with him since they were first putting it together. But it's a good compromise. “Yes, please,” Yuuri agrees. 

It takes almost no effort to fall into a rhythm with each other, perfectly spaced, dancing in unison. The teacher and student, champion and protege, Alpha and Omega. 

Although being paired with an Alpha like this, bodies moving in tandem, dancing and expressing sexual love as if it was a courtship dance, draws Yuuri's arousal to the surface, he also feels a strange sense of comfort. If he missteps, Victor is right there to catch him. Even though they aren't touching, he's lending Yuuri his strength. 

They run through his Eros program twice, and then through his Free Skate program twice as well, Victor smoothly keeping up with him. 

They’re good enough to tell Yuko to turn the air conditioning units on full-blast to help clear the air in the rink of any lingering heat hormones. He tries his best not to snap at Yuko for being too close to them. She’s barely an arm’s length away from Victor, even if there’s a counter between the two of them. 

Yuuri’s never talked to Yuko about his secondary gender, and he certainly hasn’t mentioned his heat’s coming up, or that he’ll be spending it with Victor, but he’s under no illusion that she doesn’t know about him; growing up together affords her some confidential knowledge. She may be a beta, but she’s smart enough to have put it all together, especially when Yuuri first presented and his hormones went unsuppressed. 

She gives them both a big smile as they pack up early, and gives Yuuri a wink and a thumbs up when Victor can’t see. Yuuri blushes for a good ten minutes, trying so hard to tell himself that Yuko hasn’t imagined them having sex. 

They eat lunch on the long steps up to the castle again - one of their favourite spots. It’s the last time Yuuri will probably be outside for a while. It’s later in the season, and where they are is pretty devoid of tourists, so they’re mostly left alone. It’s a good thing too because if even one person had approached them to take a picture with Victor (as sometimes happens), he’s sure he’ll snap.

Victor talks about anything and everything - what St. Petersburg streets are like, what kind of food he hated as a child, the phase he went through where he painted his toenails different colours - everything except Yuuri’s upcoming heat. 

It’s nice that he’s trying to act as if everything is normal. And it is, to a point, but the arousal that’s sitting just under the surface is hard to ignore. It’s something inevitable. It’s this deep feeling. It’s not something he has to act on yet, but he knows it won’t be long before he’s at his body’s mercy. 

They agree that Yuuri should try to do some muscle toning exercises because he probably won’t get that at all during the week. He also insists on doing some flexibility training once he’s warmed up too. 

Victor almost looks nervous from where he’s standing, counting repetitions of Yuuri’s exercises. He’s probably just on edge because of the little bit of heat hormones Yuuri’s sure he’s producing. He’s so slick that he’s surprised there isn’t a wet patch on the back of his pants. Neither of them have mentioned his slick, even though it’s probably noticeable in the awkward way Yuuri’s moving his body, if not the slightly sweet scent that it has. 

They get in a full workout, but Yuuri doesn’t find he’s exhausted by it like he usually is. And it’s not because they’ve taken it easy today - there’s an energy buzzing around him - a nervous feeling that makes him want to grind against the nearest solid object. Preferably Victor. 

When they get back home, Mari’s waiting outside the door. She barely looks at Victor before Yuuri’s making a low sound in his chest. “I told you yesterday to not look at him,” he grumbles, but he’s not as angry about it today as he was yesterday. 

Mari rolls her eyes, but does her best to turn away from Victor. “So I’m assuming your heat’s starting soon?” She asks. 

“Tomorrow, most likely. Even if it isn’t, I don’t think I’ll be in any shape to leave the house,” Yuuri tells her. 

“Okay,” she says, nodding. “I’ll let mom and dad know. We’ll make sure not to bother you. I also don’t need to say anything about being careful and not overdoing yourself, right?”

“No, you don’t need to say anything,” Yuuri snarks. His family’s concern has never helped him through his heats before. He’s only hoping that Victor will fare better. 

He looks over at Victor who’s scruffling Maccachin behind the ears. He sighs. “I’d like to do some last minute prep,” Yuuri tells Victor, “so you should spend the rest of the afternoon with Maccachin.”

“What else do you have to do?” Victor asks, looking up at him through his fringe of hair. 

“Just want to run over my list again and double-check everything,” Yuuri admits. He realises that Victor must have asked Mari at some point to take care of his poodle while he’s stuck with Yuuri. Not that his family will be upset by that - his mother loves Maccachin just as much as she did Vicchan. 

“If you need me, just text,” Victor tells him. Yuuri’s grateful for the space, if he’s being honest. If Victor had followed him up to his room, he probably would have lied about his heat starting early and asked for sex. 

As it is, he just ends up double checking all of his supplies: drinks, food, extra sheets, lube. He unwraps the commercial-grade scent blockers, putting one in the hall and one in his room. They immediately mute any heat scents that are lingering. 

It is a bit weird in his room now that Victor’s Alpha scent is barely distinguishable. It means that he spends the rest of the afternoon rearranging all of the Victor’s items he’s been nesting with until he feels comfortable enough in his space again. 

Unfortunately, because he’s just spent a couple hours sniffing Victor’s scent on his clothes, his body has automatically reacted. His slick is so now much worse than before. He drops his pants and saturated underwear into the hamper and takes a quick shower so he’s presentable enough to go downstairs for supper. 

But by the time he’s towelled off and is grabbing a few set of clothes, he can feel slick sliding down between his thighs. He won’t make it through dinner without soaking through another pair of underwear. He has a couple options: first, he can just stay here in his room - hide away until his heat starts and text Victor when it does, or second, he can stop the flow and go down to have a last proper meal with Victor and spend the evening relaxing before his heat starts. 

He knows which option he prefers. So he kneels on the bed and digs through his toy box, looking for something he can use. 

The plugs are a good option, obviously, but he already knows they won’t be enough. They’ll stay in fine and stop the slick he’s producing. But they aren’t going to give him the feeling he wants. He wants to be stretched. Full. 

He goes to pull out the largest plug, but, because the colours are similar and apparently he has size on the mind, he finds himself pulling out the sleek black remote-controlled vibrator instead. 

It’s not ideal, really, because it’s missing the tapering that the plugs have so it’ll be hard to keep inside him. But the size and shape make his mouth water. It’s not that large of a dildo, but it’s perfect for what he wants. 

He hurries to find the tightest pair of underwear he owns, hoping that will help keep it in place. It’s not as if he needs to walk more than a few feet from his room down to the common area. And he’ll be sitting most of the night, so he shouldn’t have a problem. As long as he’s casual about it, no one should be able to tell. 

It does take a bit of stretching on his part (and just a tiny bit of lube) to insert it all the way to the base, the flared bottom keeping it from slipping any further inside him. Honestly, just lying on the bed, it feels amazing. It’s not too long, and it isn’t that wide, so it’s probably stretching him no more than the largest plug he has. 

He really shouldn’t keep it in for too long, though. He’s not used to intrusions like this, and even if his body is changing in small ways to accommodate his heat and the amount of time he’ll spend with something like this inside him, he probably shouldn’t push it too far. 

It takes a bit of manoeuvring to get on his underwear and pants while he’s lying down. But when he slowly stands, wobbling a little, the vibrator holds tight inside him. The cord for the remote control, although a little awkward, is easy to slip up and out of his pants so he can tuck the larger remote into his pocket. He refuses to turn it on even once. He has a feeling that if he tried the vibrator portion he wouldn’t end up making it to supper. 

He chooses a big fluffy sweater that’s so worn out that the neck is stretched so it almost falls off his shoulder. But it’s long and bulky enough that it should help to hide both the cord and any awkward shift of his pants. 

Victor at least looks appreciative of it when Yuuri comes down for supper. He even shifts to the side so there’s space for Yuuri to sit next to him. The stairs were a bit of a hassle (he had to take them sideways so the vibrator didn’t jostle around too much) so he’s happy to sit down where he can make sure the vibrator stays firmly inside him. 

The muscles of his opening clench and flutter as he finds a comfortable way to sit. He tries to keep a stoic face and not moan at the warm feeling it’s giving him. At the very least his pants are staying dry. 

“Are you okay?” Victor asks him, noticing the concentrated looks Yuuri has on his face. 

“Fine. Good,” he replies. “I got everything sorted and checked for my heat, so I’m feeling pretty relaxed.”

Victor smiles at that. He’s about to respond, but Mari walks in, carefully keeping her eyes fixed on Yuuri. But she drops two bowls of beef donburi in front of both of them. On his usual diet he wouldn’t be allowed to eat something like this. “Mom and Victor decided you needed the extra calories,” Mari says in explanation.

He isn’t going to disagree with either of them, especially if it’s something like this. Usually he’d get katsudon before his heat for even more calories, but he’s pretty sure Victor and he have decided that it’s only going to be a reward for after competitions. 

Mari’s eyes flicker to where Yuuri and Victor are pressed together along their sides. “Urgh,” she complains. “I’m going to go eat in the kitchen. I’m a beta and even I can tell you two reek of each other.” She makes another face, then leaves. 

Yuuri flushes, a little ashamed because he’s sitting here in public with Victor, vibrator firmly in his ass, smelling like he’s right on the edge of heat. Victor, too, is also producing a thick scent of ‘Alpha’ as his body’s way of showing off Yuuri is his for this heat. But they always eat in the dining room during non-peak hours, so there’s only an elderly couple a few tables away finishing their supper. He doubts they’ll be able to tell what Victor and he are up to. 

Surprisingly, he finds it difficult to eat because he keeps getting distracted by the way the toy inside of him keeps rubbing along the sensitive parts of him with each small shift of his hips. Yuuri’s only halfway done by the time Victor finishes. 

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” Victor asks when he sees how little Yuuri has eaten. 

“Fine,” Yuuri mutters, pushing the rice around with his chopsticks. 

Victor shifts so he’s sitting cross-legged at the table. “Come here,” he says, gesturing to his lap.

“Huh?” Yuuri blinks at him. 

“Would it make you feel better if you were closer to me?” Victor asks instead, looking at him with steady, blue eyes. 

“Yes,” Yuuri says, but hesitates to move. He would like to be in Victor's lap, but he's worried about how the vibrator will shift inside him. Still, sitting in Victor's lap outweighs any discomfort he might get by moving. 

With the smallest of movements, Yuuri climbs into Victor’s lap, his back against Victor’s chest, legs splayed out in front of him under the table. Even though he was worried about the position being awkward, it’s not. One of Victor’s arms is around his waist, and because of how he’s sitting, there’s actually less pressure on the vibrator, making him feel comfortable. 

He pulls his bowl closer to him and slowly finishes eating. Victor is quiet behind him, sometimes a pressing a small kiss to the nape of his neck or nosing along the curve of his shoulders. It’s only when Yuuri pushes his bowl away that he realises what an ideal position he’s in. 

The vibrator does a little slide inside him when he leans forward. And damn, does it feel good. He tests it a little, sliding his hips to the side. It feels just as good. He tries to stop the tiny contented sound that comes from the back of his throat, but doesn’t manage to stifle it. 

Victor’s fingers clench in the fabric of his sweater. 

Yuuri shifts again, loving the way that the vibrator presses against that spot inside of him. It’s just a brief pressure every time he moves. But he craves more of it. So he starts moving his hips in diminutive circles. Tiny, minute shifts that brings him the small, fleeting pleasure. 

“Yuuri?” Victor asks softly. “You’re not in pain, are you?”

Yuuri shakes his head. He can see why Victor might think that. He’s been quiet all night, seems to have no appetite, and now he’s fidgety. 

There’s a pause where Victor is probably trying to figure out what’s happening, but he suddenly seems to get it, exhaling a large, shaky breath right against the back of Yuuri’s neck. “Yuuri, are you…?” He doesn’t say anything else, just rests one hand on Yuuri’s leg in encouragement. 

Yuuri takes that as assent and widens the hip circles he’s making. Victor kisses along his shoulder and up towards his ear. Yuuri shakes a little when Victor kisses the shell of his ear and the soft sound rings a little.

His hips stutter, the smoothness gone from his actions, as he gets more desperate for that feeling of the vibrator moving inside him. It was only supposed to stop the slick, really, and now he’s practically grinding on Victor in public - hands free masturbation at the least. 

He swallows hard at the thought, drawing a shaky breath in through his nose. Victor kisses back down his neck, stopping right at his scent gland where he presses his lips and tongue hard against it. Yuuri squirms.

Victor’s hand on his leg rubs up and down a little in incitement. Then he nips lightly at the curve of Yuuri’s neck with his teeth. Not much more pressure than a kiss, but the feeling of teeth scraping over his scent gland, as if he might press his teeth in harder to create a bond makes Yuuri melt. 

He grips the edge of the table for support and rolls his hips again, trying hard not to gasp at how hot he’s feeling and how much pleasure he’s receiving, even fully-clothed. Victor keeps nipping at his neck, and Yuuri wants to whine. 

And then, Victor’s hand that’s been rubbing up and down his leg catches on something. Both Victor and Yuuri look down to where Victor’s thumb is hooked on the cord that’s running from Yuuri’s pants to his pocket. 

“Oh.” Victor says, breathless. Yuuri can feel Victor’s already hard dick twitch against one of his ass cheeks. “Is this…?” He reaches into Yuuri’s pocket and pulls out the remote control. Yuuri can barely see Victor’s eyes flutter closed before he presses his forehead against Yuuri’s shoulder. If Yuuri’s reading it correctly, it’s not that he’s upset about this, but rather he’s taking a moment to control himself. “Can I?” He asks after a few agonizing seconds where they’re frozen. 

“Yes,” Yuuri breathes and Victor hits the ‘on’ switch. The vibrator hums to life. Yuuri gasps loudly and immediately throws a hand over his lips to stop any other noises. 

Even though it’s started on the lowest setting, Yuuri can feel the vibrations all the way up his spine. His body heats even more and he wishes he could just discard the sweater to have cool air on his skin. Amazingly, he already feels so close to orgasm. He’s that desperate that even just a few stimulating touches to his hard dick that’s tenting the front of his sweatpants will probably push him over the edge. 

His whole body shakes with the force of his arousal. Victor seems to understand that he’s riding the pleasure high before an orgasm because he quickly tucks the control back into Yuuri’s pocket without switching it off. “Not here,” he says, and, with the strength and agility of a world-class athlete, Victor’s twisting them both and picking Yuuri up as he stands. 

He manages it with ease, his movements fluid, but full of power as he practically throws Yuuri over his shoulder. Yuuri wants to protest because he can (probably) walk. But he doesn’t dare open his mouth because he’s sure that instead of words, a moan will come out. 

“Bedroom, now,” Victor says firmly, resting one hand on the meat of Yuuri’s ass as he walks them towards the back of the house and Yuuri’s room. 

Yuuri’s grateful that no one seems to have noticed them, otherwise he’d have to be embarrassed at a later date. Right now, he’s just aroused. 

Victor takes the stairs with steady steps, careful not to jostle Yuuri too much. It doesn’t matter, though, because each shift of Victor’s shoulder moves the vibrating toy inside of him. He’s panting by the time Victor opens the door to his room. He closes and locks the door behind him. 

He’s gentle as he lays Yuuri down on the mattress. “Off,” he demands, and Yuuri’s very happy to comply - quickly taking off his sweater and throwing it into a corner. The air of his bedroom cools his chest and peaks his nipples. “Gorgeous,” Victor mutters as he pulls his own shirt over his head. “I can’t believe you-” he cuts himself off, licking his lips. “In public…” he mutters. But he doesn’t seem put off by it, but rather excited instead. 

Yuuri pulls him in for a kiss. Their first one today, surprisingly. It’s hot and wet and full of the desperation Yuuri’s feeling. “Please,” he begs when their lips part. 

Victor kisses down his neck again, slowly making his way across Yuuri’s collarbones and then slowly down towards his left nipple. Yuuri rolls his hips - with the softness of the mattress and the pressure from sitting gone, the vibrator rolls with his hips, hitting everywhere inside of him. 

The vibrations only make what he’s feeling more intense. Victor hovers over his nipple, then leaning down and pressing a light kiss to it. Yuuri moans, unable and unwilling to stop his noises now that they’re in the privacy of his room. 

Victor looks like he wants to spend more time with Yuuri’s nipples, but they both have a more pressing goal in mind. “Can I see?” Victor husks, looking up at Yuuri with bright eyes. 

Yuuri nods, not sure if his vocal chords will produce any articulate sounds. He pulls the control out of his pocket when Victor reaches for the waistband of his pants. 

He drags the sweatpants and Yuuri’s underwear down together slowly, careful to not catch Yuuri’s erection on the way down. He gets them down to Yuuri’s knees before he seems too entranced by his first sight of Yuuri’s hard dick. 

It’s one thing to have seen each other in the onsen. It’s another thing entirely to see someone at their fullest. Victor’s eyes are fixed on his length, just staring. Yuuri’s sure it’s in appreciation because, well, honestly, he thinks he has a pretty nice looking dick. 

But still, with the intense gaze Victor has, Yuuri’s hands automatically move to cover himself up. It does the job of pulling Victor out of his trance because he grabs both of Yuuri’s wrists and pushes them to the side so he can stare for just a moment more before he releases them and pulls Yuuri’s pants off all the way. 

“Wow,” Victor praises as he looks down the full length of Yuuri’s naked body, taking his time looking at Yuuri’s dick, hard and flushed against his stomach. He gently reaches for Yuuri’s leg, lifting it a little so he can see where Yuuri’s stretched around the vibrator. 

Yuuri blushes, trying not to close his legs to cover up such an intimate part of himself because this is Victor, who will be looking at this part of him, all of him, closely for the next week. There’s no reason to be shy about it now. 

Except, he’s not in heat. It’s close, yes, but he’s still rational. He can’t blame any of this on his hormones, can he? Victor doesn’t seem to mind, though. He reaches out with his other hand to touch the base of the buzzing vibrator lightly, pushing it a little further back inside Yuuri. 

Yuuri shivers, not because he’s cold, but because all his fantasies are coming true. He almost can’t believe that Victor is giving him pleasure. Carnal pleasure. Not the kind of pleasure that’s ‘wow, you’re gorgeous’, ‘wow, you’re so talented’, ‘wow, I want to skate beside you’, ‘wow, how can you be any more perfect’. But honest-to-fucking-god physical pleasure. 

Victor reaches for the remote control, looking at it quickly before clicking to the next setting. Yuuri’s back arches off the bed as the vibrations intensify. “Oh!” He cries out, fingers clenching in the sheets. 

“So responsive…” Victor marvels, clicking to the next setting. It’s the highest vibration option and Yuuri’s immediately scrambling for purchase on the bedsheets, the vibrations so intense the toy is making him feel white hot. 

“Too much!” He gasps, not sure if there might be pain twinging along with the pleasure. Whatever it is, it’s overwhelming. 

Victor immediately switches to the next setting, a pre-programed slow roll of vibrations from low to high, repeating over and over that’s far better. Yuuri’s gasping for air after five short rounds. He’s feeling so close, but he just can’t come like this - with only anal stimulation. 

Victor doesn’t stop him when he reaches his own hand down to grasp his dick. He uses his thumb to smear the precum on the tip around the head to ease the way. Victor’s eyes are firmly fixed on this hand. Watching as Yuuri completely his first stroke. Then the next. 

Victor’s cheeks are pink with arousal and Yuuri would find it endearing, if he wasn’t so embarrassed by how open he is compared to Victor. But he’s in no shape to try and help get Victor to this same point. He needs an orgasm, and he needs it soon. “Don’t look,” he says, face hot, as he turns away to look across the room instead of at his partner. 

“Okay,” Victor doesn’t ask, even though he’s obviously been enjoying the view. 

Instead, he shuffles up the bed a little and leans over Yuuri so he’s looking at Yuuri’s face instead of his dick. However, he also grabs Yuuri’s hips, lifting them up and pulling Yuuri into his lap, his legs spreading on either side of Victor’s body. His pulls Yuuri’s ass flush against his hips so his erection, that’s still trapped in his pants, is pressing hard against the curve of Yuuri’s ass. 

“Do whatever you need,” Victor rumbles, leaning down to lave his tongue against the dip of Yuuri’s collarbone. 

Feeling less exposed, comforted, and knowing that Victor is turned on by him, Yuuri finds it so easy to bring himself to the brink. It doesn’t take more than a minute or two of jerking himself off before he’s right there. 

Victor’s restraint is admirable. He’s not grinding against Yuuri’s ass like he would probably like. Which is a good thing too because it would probably only press the toy in further. But he does have one moment of weakness - one tick of his hips forward - just a press of his dick against Yuuri’s ass, and that moment it what pushes Yuuri over the edge. 

He comes with a soft, surprised cry, spilling cum in several shots between them, making a mess of his stomach. 

Victor holds him as he shakes through his orgasm. As soon as he relaxes, Victor’s turning the vibrator off. He’s grateful for the foresight because he’s too sensitive at the moment for any more stimulation. He takes in deep, shuddering breathes as his vision clear back to normal. His fingers are tingling from the force of his orgasm. Yuuri relaxes, sliding down off Victor’s lap a little. 

Victor’s dick is still hot and hard against his thigh. “Did you want me to?” Yuuri asks, half-heartedly reaching a hand out towards Victor’s dick. 

“Don’t worry about me,” Victor hums, pressing a light kiss to Yuuri’s lips. “That was about you, not me. I’ll have more than enough tomorrow when your heat hits.”

Victor’s probably right - he doesn't need to waste an orgasm now. He’ll need all of his refractory rate for Yuuri’s first day of heat. “Mmn,” he moans in agreement, feeling pretty boneless right now. It was a fantastic orgasm. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Victor says, pulling back from Yuuri, grabbing his tshirt from where he’d tossed it on the bed and using it to wipe up Yuuri’s cum from his stomach. Yuuri almost feels badly for ruining one of Victor’s tshirts, but then he remembers he’d loaned his shirt to Victor today, so it’s not as much of a problem as he thought. 

Victor gently takes Yuuri’s hips and lifts with one hand. The other carefully removes the vibrator from Yuuri’s ass. He can feel excess slick gush out as soon as it’s removed, probably dribbling down onto Victor’s thighs. The tshirt is then used to wipe up down there as well. 

The vibrator is set to the side. It’ll have to be washed, but Yuuri doesn't want to stand up now. “Should we put one of your small plugs in?” Victor asks. “So you’ll be ready when your heat starts? It’s going to be soon now, right?”

Yuuri frowns a little, blinking up at the ceiling, uncaring that his butt is still in Victor’s lap. “No plug,” he says. He’ll get enough of his hole being filled for the rest of the week - it’s fine if he starts off fresh. “My heat…” Yuuri starts, shifting so he’s back on the mattress fully. He shuffles so he can face the other way, finding the pillows at the top of the bed. “My heat should start tonight,” he admits. 

He can feel it, right there, just under the surface of his skin. He probably only has a couple hours before it first hits. It’s not something gradual. Even if he can feel it coming, it’s more like a switch being flipped. There’s just something that gets triggered in his body that causes a chain reaction. One minute he’s fine, the next he’ll be in heat. 

He can probably sleep through the first little bit of it, though, before his body wakes him up with the incessant need to be filled and fucked. 

“We should sleep,” Victor suggests. “So you can start fresh. No point in waiting around for it to come.”

“You’re right,” Yuuri says, already feeling sleep pulling at him. It’s been a long day and his orgasm has made him relaxed enough he could probably sleep.

“You sure about the plug?” Victor asks, reaching towards the toy box, just in case Yuuri has changed his mind. 

He bats Victor’s hands away from the toy box. He feels both simultaneously drained and right on the edge. He could probably keep going - fuck until his heat really hits. But for the moment he just wants a few seconds of rest before they fall into a rhythm of fucking with short breaks in between. 

“Okay, okay,” Victor chuckles, turning so he’s facing the same way as Yuuri on the mattress. He slips in behind Yuuri. “You brought my pillow in too,” Victor marvels, reaching for it. 

Yuuri shakes his head and hands Victor his own pillow instead, taking Victor’s for himself. Victor just smiles, and accepts it, placing it gently on the bed beside Yuuri’s. “Make sure to get some sleep,” Yuuri tells Victor, “tomorrow will be a long day.”

“Mmmn,” Victor agrees. “You should text your sister so she knows,” he suggests. Victor would probably have done it, but for all Mari can speak English, she’s terrible at reading it. 

“I think she knows,” Yuuri says. He’s almost right on schedule for his heat, if only a few hours early. When they both don’t show up for breakfast, Mari will understand. 

Victor snuggles in behind Yuuri, spooning him a little. His half-hard dick presses against Yuuri’s ass as he cuddles in close. 

“You sure you don’t want me to help out with that?” Yuuri asks, stifling a yawn. 

“Don’t worry about me,” Victor mumbles into Yuuri’s hair. “It’ll be there when we wake up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. I’m not sure if you’d consider this sex between them because Victor wasn’t a super active participant, but at least it was something before his heat started. 
> 
> Since this is the last chapter before Yuuri’s heat starts (finally), I’d love to know what your favourite moment up until now has been. It can be specific (like looking at sex toys online), or general (Yuuri’s anxiety), or just even your fav chapter.
> 
> As always, come find me on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com) so you can get updates as see any short drabbles I post. <3


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so excited that we’re finally at the heat week. It’s been such a long ride to get here and I hope it’s all been worth it. Thank you again for all your lovely comments - I always end up rereading them as motivation to get the next chapter done. 
> 
> Also, there’s the most gorgeous artwork for the last chapter. [Please admire it.](http://kyyhky.tumblr.com/post/157043401550/i-promised-to-start-drawing-for)

Yuuri isn’t sure what time it is when he wakes up - it could be l0pm or 2am - he doesn’t care. All he knows is it’s dark outside and it _doesn’t matter._

What does matter is how hot he is. How his whole body feels like it's burning up. It’s like he has a fever and he’s in this hot haze where he doesn’t know what’s up and down. At the same time, he’s getting blindingly cold shivers down his spine. It’s a contradiction that’s not pleasurable.

There’s someone behind him, breathing softly, but he’s not really sure who it is. He’s not feeling intimidated by them, so he’s not too bothered by it. He has bigger things to worry about. The entire backside of his thighs are soaked with slick and there’s this heavy fog that’s clouding his mind.

He wills himself to turn over and go back to sleep. He should just sleep this off. Maybe he’ll feel better in the morning. He pushes his face back into the pillow, curling up into himself. Then he presses back against the body behind him because, for some reason, they make him feel more comfortable.

But as soon as he presses back into the body behind him, the cold shivers that are running down his spine turn hot, and more wet gushes out against his thighs. He gasps as he realises his dick is hard and pressed up against his stomach.

He knows, objectively, what’s happening. His heat’s here. It should be exciting because, well, doesn’t he have a partner this time as well? Who was it again? Probably the person that’s behind him.

He groans as he presses his ass backwards into the warm body behind him. This heat, this fever he has, can be satiated by having something inside him. He can feel his hole clench and flutter just at the thought of having something inside him. His whole body shudders when he tries to ignore the heavy emptiness he’s feeling.

And then, in a split second, something changes.

He doesn’t want to ignore it anymore. He can’t. Why would he want to ignore that aching feeling? He can fix it. It’s so easy to fill himself and satiate this burning need he has.

The heat on his skin seems inconsequential when compared to the void that’s growing inside of him. This darkness, the desperate need, threatens to overtake him. He’s vaguely aware that if he doesn’t indulge this feeling soon, he’ll be lost to his heat haze for days.

With a bit of panic and desperation, he turns himself over so he can face his heat partner. His hands fumble as he turns over, reaching for the body behind him. “Please,” he says in a whisper, hands running over the skin in front of him. He looks up at the face pillowed softly into the sheets besides him. Strong jaw, silver hair, soft skin. Victor.

Yuuri almost sobs in relief. He’s here. He’s actually here. The one person he’s been craving to share his heat for so long. No one else in the world has the ability to satisfy his need like Victor.

“Victor,” he cries softly, tears welling in his eyes from sheer relief of having him here.

“Mnn?” Victor shifts, eyelashes fluttering against the sheets as he starts to wake.

His hands grasp at Victor’s hips. He needs him. Now. “Please,” Yuuri murmurs.

Victor’s eyes snap open at Yuuri’s plea, awake and clear. It takes him only a couple seconds to take in Yuuri’s form, hot against his, eyes shining with the heat haze, to realise what’s happening. “Oh, Yuuri,” he says softly, a hand coming up to touch Yuuri’s cheek.

Now that Victor’s awake, Yuuri can’t stop himself. He scrambles awkwardly to push Victor onto his back and straddle him. At least he’s naked; Victor still has pants on, and that needs to be fixed. His fingers shake as they reach for Victor’s waistband.

“Yuuri. Yuuri, calm down.” Victor says, taking Yuuri’s hands in his and pressing kisses to the palms. His voice sounds faraway, like he’s across the room.

Yuuri doesn’t care about the kisses. He doesn’t care about Victor’s soft words. All he cares about is having a dick inside him. He makes a small whining sound, tugging his hands away so he can pull at Victor’s pants again. But he can’t get them down more than a few inches because he’s sitting right on top of Victor’s crotch. Which is frustrating because that’s where he should be, but without anything between them.

He can feel Victor stiffen underneath him, his penis filling quickly. Yuuri’s own dick is already standing at full attention, precum beaded at the tip.

“Okay, okay,” Victor sighs, taking Yuuri firmly by the hips and moving him back onto the bed.

“ _Please_ ,” Yuuri reiterates, hoping Victor understands how desperate he is. He can’t seem to focus on one thing for long enough to get out a coherent sentence. His gaze, even, switches between the wet patch he’s left on the front of Victor’s pants, to his eyes, to his nipples, to the tented fabric at his crotch, to his hands, back to his erection.

He closes his eyes, dizzy with his own arousal and the anxious movements. Although it’s probably only a few seconds, it feels like forever before there are soft lips against his. “Yuuri,” Victor rasps above him, “did you want me to fuck you now?”

Yuuri breathes deeply, trying to form the words. He wants to yell at Victor, tell him that he’s being dense - can’t he see that’s what Yuuri needs? How can he be so blind that he doesn’t know exactly what Yuuri requires. Yet, he also wants to whisper sweet nothings back to him - tell him just how much he’s wanted this, how _long_ he’s wanted it for, how desperate he is. How, if Victor had just asked him that same question weeks, months, years ago, his answer would have always been the same. Instead, all he can get out is, “YES.”

Victor’s hands run along his chest, careful and with purpose. He’s trying to be gentle, trying to draw this out. It’s foreplay. And although the sentiment is nice, it’s not what Yuuri needs. Not right now.

“Just do it,” Yuuri manages to say, pushing Victor’s hands down towards his crotch. He’s not entirely sure if he’s opened his eyes again or not.

Victor huffs, as if he’s a little put out that he can’t take his time, but he finally seems to get how needy Yuuri is because he’s immediately wrapping his long fingers around Yuuri’s dick.

It’s the first time Victor’s touched him like this, and Yuuri wishes he had the luxury to appreciate it. He really does. Because he’s fantasized about this moment for almost all of his adult life, and he knows there are thousands of people that would gladly trade places with him right now. But it's just so hard to focus on any one thing for too long with this driving, insatiable need to be filled.

So, instead of gushing praises about how good Victor’s hands feel wrapped around him, he glares (he’s opened his eyes, apparently) at him and says, “In me.”

There’s a slight uptick of Victor’s mouth, as if he’s finding Yuuri being demanding amusing. It isn’t that funny. Yuuri’s very serious right now. If he waits too much longer, his heat haze is going to take over. And he doesn’t want to forget this first time completely.

Victor, thankfully, complies. He snakes one hand down between Yuuri’s thighs, lightly pressing his fingertips against Yuuri’s hole. He’s so wet down there that one of Victor’s fingers slides in easily. Yuuri moans at that first taste of what he needs. He immediately rolls his hips downwards so the finger slips in further.

“Patience,” Victor says, holding tightly to Yuuri’s hip with his other hand so he can’t press himself down onto the finger further.

Yuuri finds himself growling in displeasure, his hands moving on their own accord down to his ass to slip two fingers into himself right next to Victor’s.

Victor’s nostrils flare, a little surprised and aroused, but he doesn’t stop Yuuri from stretching himself alongside Victor’s finger. “I’m fine. Just do it,” he tells Victor. His endorphins are running on high, so there’s no pain at all. He can fit Victor, knot and all, right now if he wanted.

Victor lets out a small laugh. “So needy,” he chides. “I’m not going to hurt you on the first round. The rest of the week will be uncomfortable if I do.” He gently removes Yuuri’s fingers with a soft tug on his wrist, but does replace them with two of his own. He slowly scissors them, stretching him open slowly.

Yuuri throws his head back, spreading his knees open as far as they’ll go so Victor has unimpeded access to him.

“I told you we should have used a plug, you’d be ready to go right now if we had,” Victor tells him. Even though he’s having a hard time fixating on any one thing, he can tell that Victor is intently watching the way his fingers are moving in and out of Yuuri.

His dick is twitching with interest in his pants.

“You’re just so wet,” Victor praises, taking his fingers out for a moment to marvel at the slick left on them. They shine in the light from the desk lamp they’ve left on. Victor carefully puts them back into Yuuri again before he can complain. This time with three fingers.

“How do you want me?” Victor asks. He swallows hard enough Yuuri can see his adam’s apple bob. It’s not nervousness, but maybe it’s deep arousal.

“I don’t care,” Yuuri manages. He doesn’t care which way, as long as Victor’s inside him. All he needs is to be fucked. Any position will do.

“Alright, just like this then,” Victor says. He gives a few more pumps of his fingers to make sure Yuuri’s ready before he pulls them out completely.

Yuuri bites his tongue to keep from crying out because he knows what’s coming next will be better than fingers. He just has to be patient for a few more seconds.

Victor makes a smooth movement to remove his pants - kicking them off somewhere near the bottom of the bed. He wastes no time in pushing Yuuri’s thighs apart. He swipes his hand along Yuuri’s thighs, gathering excess slick left there, then rubbing it along his own length.

Yuuri lifts himself up a little bit to try to catch a glimpse of Victor’s hard dick. He’s seen a picture of it, sure, but the real thing is always so much better. He doesn’t get high enough before dizziness overtakes him and he has to lay back on the bed again. He’ll study Victor’s pale cock later, when he can actually concentrate on it.

“These past few days have been torture,” Victor whispers, leaning over him. “I've been holding back for your sake, Yuuri. But now I don't have to anymore. Now I can do what I want with you.” He grabs hold of Yuuri’s ass from underneath with a firm hand, lifting him up just that little bit so he’s perfectly angled.

And slowly, with one long stroke, Victor’s pushing into him. He buries himself all the way to the hilt, his balls resting against Yuuri’s asscheeks.

“Yes,” Yuuri moans, his whole body shaking at the much-welcomed intrusion. This is what his body wanted. But as much as his body was craving it, building up to accept the girth, as soon as it’s in him he can feel the heat haze come on even stronger. It’s taking over his body. He doesn’t feel like he has control of his limbs, and can barely stay focused on what’s happening. Everything has narrowed down to the feeling of being filled.

His whole body shakes with the force of his emotions. It’s everything he wanted; it’s almost overwhelming. So he just raises his arms, wraps them around Victor’s shoulders and pulls him close.

Victor’s lips are trembling as they kiss down Yuuri’s neck. Yuuri clenches his muscles around the hot member in him. He can’t feel anything more than just the overwhelming overall pleasure. His skin is hot, burning up, to the point he can barely feel where Victor and his body are in contact. His nerves are all tingling so he can’t tell how much pleasure is physical, or whether it’s just his hormones overreacting to everything. He has his eyes squeezed shut to reduce the amount of input he’s receiving. The only thing that matters is the way Victor feels as he pulls out just a little and pushes back in.

It’s a blissful state. The slow, sensual rub of Victor’s hard dick inside him, anchoring the weightless feeling of the rest of his body. He can vaguely hear the small mewling sounds he’s making with every push of Victor’s hips. He wants it deeper, faster. Just _more_.

Victor is breathing hard against his neck, mouthing sloppily at his skin and sucking a red mark into the curve of Yuuri’s collarbone. But even that’s muffled by the all-consuming focus on the stretch of his ass around Victor.

Victor is murmuring words against his skin. They’re hard to make out against the rushing sound in his ears. But he catches words like ‘gorgeous’ and ‘perfect’, maybe even ‘stunning’. The sentiment is nice, but Yuuri’s still more concerned with the erection pushing into him.

Victor’s dick must be curved upwards just a little bit, at the perfect angle, because he brushes past that spot inside Yuuri with every long press in. He’s so close already - his heat having pushed him right to the brink with ease.

It just takes a large breath from Victor - his stomach brushing Yuuri’s neglected cock - that pushes him over the edge. He cums with a shout, calling Victor’s name in praise as he empties on his stomach. It’s satisfying, sending waves of pleasure rolling down his body, but it doesn’t abate the need that he’s drowning in.

Victor pulls away just a fraction to see the mess Yuuri’s made, maybe even to slow down (although he’s already going torturously slow) while Yuuri recuperates, but at this point in his heat, and with his stamina, there’s no recovery period. He just stays hard, the first orgasm having barely taken the edge off.

He’s still burning hot, and everything is still so focused on their one main point of contact. He digs his heels into Victor’s ass, pulling him back in, telling him with his body that there’s no point in stopping. Victor barely falters, just keeps slowly pistoning his hips.

Yuuri tugs on Victor’s shoulders, pulling him in for a kiss. Except it doesn’t end up as much of a kiss, just open mouths pressed against each other, panting, sharing the same air.

Victor increases the pace, hips snapping forward so he’s buried as deep as possible with each stroke. He sets a punishing pace, fucking into Yuuri with precision. He’s an athlete, for sure. His leg and abdominal muscles are working hard, but he doesn’t hesitate at all, just keeps a steady rhythm, fucking Yuuri right through to a second orgasm.

The second orgasm helps a little, the all-consuming heat subsides enough he can focus on some of the smaller details, like how his hand is sticky from where he’d cupped his erection as he came.

Victor has now kissed down from his lips to his nipple and is currently flicking the tip of his tongue against the nub. But even though he’s had a second orgasm, Victor doesn’t stop fucking him.

“Victor,” Yuuri manages to get out in a shaky voice. Those cobalt eyes rise to meet his immediately. Victor smiles at him; a large grin as he rolls his hips as he pushes in this time.

“Yuuri,” he mimics, calling his name in a sensual voice as he draws out the vowels. He moves back up to kiss Yuuri again, this time properly. It’s a deep, heated kiss, his tongue following similar movements to his dick. Yuuri tries to reciprocate, but it’s difficult when most of his effort is going into making sure his heat haze doesn’t get out of control.

He could lose himself in it if he wanted to. If he just let go, let his lust consume him, he could orgasm time after time, satisfying that gut feeling he’s holding back. He’s doing his best to focus on what he has right now. Victor. He hopes that if he puts in the effort right now that the less in-control part of heat will be shorter. Because he does really want to remember as much of this as possible, although that first orgasm is fading from his memory quickly.

He’s back to full hardness by the time Victor pulls back for some air. “You’re gorgeous,” he spouts praise, pushing Yuuri’s hair back with one hand so they can look at each other properly. They’re both hot and sweaty and Victor’s grip on his ass is slipping.

“More,” he demands, gaining enough bodily control to push his hips down to meet each of Victor’s thrusts. Victor’s eyelids flutter shut and he digs his fingers into the meat of Yuuri’s ass. Yuuri just hopes that Victor can find just as much pleasure as he can.

Yuuri wraps his legs around Victor’s waist, pulling him in so close, trapping him, so that he can barely pull out of Yuuri, but rather just press and grind into him. Yuuri doesn’t mind at all, rolling his hips in circles to increase the pleasure. He grabs hold of his dick and jerks himself quickly.

“Another, so quickly?” Victor marvels, staring down at Yuuri getting himself off.

“Mmnn,” he agrees. He fights for control, focusing as best he can on the specific sensations Victor’s causing him. The way Yuuri can feel his dick twitch deep inside of him every time he gasps or moans. The roughness of his palm against the sensitive head of his own penis. The blunt tips of Victor’s fingers on his ass, still holding his hips up at the proper angle. The dig of Victor’s hipbones against his skin. The softness of Victor’s hair where his hand is pulling Victor’s head back down for another kiss.

His third orgasm tears through him without much warning. His toes curl, his muscles clench, his heart skips a beat, and Victor’s hips stutter as Yuuri clenches around him.

“Oh fuck,” Victor curses, pauses for a moment as Yuuri shakes through his orgasm.

Yuuri’s still gasping for air from the intensity of the orgasm when he tries to grind back down on Victor’s dick again.

“Slow down,” Victor pleads, pulling his hips back. Yuuri follows. “You’re too damn sexy,” Victor complains, relinquishing his grasp on Yuuri’s ass finally and flipping  his hair out of his face. He looks down at Yuuri, eyes dilated wide. He’s close to an orgasm it seems like.

“On your back,” Yuuri says. He’s surprised how coherent he sounds. His head is still swimming, but he knows what he wants.

Victor takes the welcome break, pulling out of Yuuri and slowly rolling onto his back. He watches carefully, not touching, as Yuuri slowly finds the strength in his arms and legs to sit up. He licks his lips, but his mouth feels dry already.

His legs are still shaking from his last orgasm, but the desire to have Victor back inside him spurs him to move. He swings a leg over Victor’s hip, kneeling over Victor.

“Like this?” Victor almost whines. “Yuuri, if you-” he pauses as Yuuri positions the head of Victor’s cock right at his entrance. “I’m going to cum too quickly like this,” Victor tells him.

“Good,” Yuuri says, lowering himself slowly onto Victor’s hardness, the head popping past the first ring of muscle. “Knot me,” Yuuri requests.

“Now?” Victor gasps as Yuuri slowly lowers himself all the way down Victor’s length. He groans when he’s fully seated in Yuuri.

“Yes,” Yuuri tells him. He’s almost certain that being knotted will help. “Fuck me until you cum,” Yuuri demands, rising up a little and letting himself fall back down onto Victor’s dick.

Victor clenches his jaw tight, hands going to Yuuri’s hips immediately. He helps Yuuri to rise up again, pushing him back down onto his length. Victor bends his knees up to gain more leverage, fucking up into Yuuri with the next downward motion. He makes a low sound in his chest, obviously pleased with the feeling.

Yuuri leans back, resting his palms on Victor’s knees behind him, using him as a brace to fuck himself on his dick more easily. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Victor praises, looking Yuuri over from his flushed face, down the length of his openly displayed body, down to his hard dick that’s bouncing with every movement he makes.

Yuuri doesn’t really catch most of what Victor says next. His brain isn’t doing a fantastic job of understanding English at the moment. It’s just not interested in anything that isn’t the exaggerated feeling of the head of Victor’s cock pressing in him. Yuuri swears he can feel the coronal ridge sliding along his passage.

The room is filled with the lewd sounds of their fucking. The slick Yuuri’s producing makes each of their thrusts sound wet. Victor is breathing hard by this point, and so is Yuuri. His thighs are warm with exertion and he’s panting, not because of the exercise, but because he’s getting close again.

He must be gushing wet at an astounding rate because each push of Victor’s dick inside him is smoother. Even Victor must notice how much he’s producing because he gasps out a “fuck, you’re so wet for me,” before groaning at a particularly deep thrust.

Victor’s the one who wraps his hand around Yuuri, stroking him in time with their rhythm. He isn’t gentle about it, but their pace isn’t either. Yuuri’s slamming his hips down as hard and quick as he can, meeting Victor thrust for thrust. Victor’s palm is dry, but he uses just two fingers and his thumb to jerk him off, creating a tight ring of pressure.

“I’m so close,” Victor warns, increasing his pace. “Cum for me again,” he begs. Yuuri can’t deny him, another orgasm washing over him just moments before Victor’s hips still as his first orgasm flows through him.

Yuuri forces himself to watch as Victor’s mouth shapes into a round ‘o’, his head thrown back, tendons in his neck standing out as every muscle in his body clenches with pleasure. The beginning swell at the base of his dick, his knot, extends Yuuri’s own aftershocks, and he quivers with orgasm far longer than normal.

Meanwhile, Victor is gasping for air as his knot swells and his orgasm continues. It’s a large and hot pressure inside Yuuri, stretching him to his limits. Thankfully he’s still running high on endorphins, so there’s no pain. He’s read that the first time receiving a knot can be painful because of the stretch, but this is nothing but pleasure. Perhaps it’s because Yuuri’s used knotting dildos before that he’s accustomed to the stretch. He’s enjoyed those for sure, but they pale in comparison with the real thing.

The knot stretches him, fills him, in all the right places. It’s the ‘full’ feeling he’s been craving. It’s the Omega in him being satiated by the biological drive to be knotted, mated, in his reproductive prime. He tries not to squirm on Victor’s dick because he seems very sensitive right now. But the tight feeling of his opening, the feeling of Victor’s cum trapped inside him, gets him so hot, so hard, he’s practically ready to come again. Most importantly, he can feel how Victor, tied into him now, keeps twitching with orgasm. He’s seated there in Victor’s lap, joined with him for the next quarter of an hour, and he can feel deep inside the jerks of Victor’s cock as he pumps the last of his semen into him.  

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Victor mutters as his orgasm finishes. He finally relaxes, collapsing back bonelessly on the bed. He looks up at Yuuri with wide eyes, taking in the sight of Yuuri sitting on him; his chest is flushed red, his stomach coated with his own semen, his nipples hard and peaked. He at least as the wherewithal to blush at the lewd picture he’s sure he paints. “Wow,” Victor says with a big, sloppy smile.

Yuuri shifts slightly and Victor’s knot presses against the edge of his prostate, radiating bright sparks of pleasure out to all of his extremities. Victor moans too. His knot is just as sensitive as the head of his penis, and both are still in him, receiving stimulation. But Yuuri’s sure he’s the one receiving the most pleasure from just sitting there, being filled. His pleasure is both physical and mental.

He clenches around Victor’s knot, testing how it feels. Victor gasps, fingers spasming on Yuuri’s hips. But Yuuri continues to clench, rolling in pleasure as the knot is pressing in all the right spots. His dick is half hard almost immediately.

He can hardly believe that after all these years, this is his first real knot. And it lives up to everything he expected from it. He wants to explain to Victor how he’s his first, because he’s not sure Victor totally understands the significance of the moment, but instead his words are lost as Victor’s dick pulses inside of him making him shiver.

“Wow,” Victor says again as Yuuri’s dick twitches between them. His thumbs are rubbing circles on Yuuri’s hips, holding him tight against his pelvis as an extra precaution that he gets to stay inside Yuuri’s tight, hot body. “You’re so good, taking my knot like this,” he praises.

Through all of the haze, those words reach Yuuri, and he’s just as surprised as Victor when his dick, not even fully hard yet, twitches and spills the smallest amount of cum as Yuuri’s wracked with another orgasm. His whole body spasms with the force of it - it was completely unintended. He curls forward, falling into Victor’s chest, all his muscles fluttering with the orgasm. Victor wraps his arms around Yuuri, holding him as the orgasm subsides.

“Fuck,” Victor swears softly. Yuuri thinks this is the most he’s ever heard the Russian swear. “Was that really…?” he asks, but they both know it was obviously another orgasm.

“Can’t help it,” Yuuri mutters into Victor’s neck. “It’s my heat.”

Victor makes a pleased sound, cuddling Yuuri close to his chest and running one hand soothingly through his hair. “I’ll give you everything you need,” he promises, kissing the shell of Yuuri’s ear tenderly.

Yuuri noses his way to Victor’s scent gland at his throat, taking deep breaths. Victor’s producing calming and aroused pheromones and it’s making their joining even better. It also keeps Yuuri aroused.

His desperate need to be fucked has faded slightly, if only because he’s being stretched full of Victor at the moment. But he knows this isn’t quite yet the end of their first round either. He’s still riding a high of sorts, but they both need just a few moments of rest before Yuuri starts up again.

It’s not like they can fuck right away. They’ll have to wait for Victor’s knot to go down. He could, of course, just jerk himself off while still stuck on Victor’s knot. That’s an option too.

And then, once he has the thought in his mind, he can’t get rid of it. Each orgasm has successively cleared a little more of his heat haze, but he knows that he’s still not coherent enough to fully participate. What he needs is more orgasms, more sex. That’s all that’s driving him right now.

He starts slowly, just small movements of his hips, testing the tug of Victor’s knot. It’s tight and full, not liable to reduce in size any time soon. The pull of is against his muscles still feels so delicious. It’s a strong friction, a place where the two of them have almost become one.

Victor’s hands run up and down Yuuri’s back slowly. He pauses to clench at the top portion of his ass as they dip down, then up, spreading wide across his shoulder blades. Yuuri clenches every time Victor’s hands dip far enough down. They don’t say anything to each other, just cuddle together - their sweaty chests sticking a little - as Yuuri slowly shifts his hips.

It’s just like last night - slowly riding the length inside him. Except this time it’s not artificial - it’s Victor’s actual hard dick. He bears down, then rolls his pelvis up, giving small thrusts every time Victor pulls at his butt, tugging at the knot inside of him.

They set into a small rhythm of push and pull, barely moving at all because of how tightly they’re joined. It doesn’t matter that his thrusts are so controlled because all he needs is the feeling of Victor’s knot working to keep his hard dick firmly ensconced in Yuuri’s heat.

Yuuri’s a little confused when Victor pulls his face up for a kiss. He’d almost forgotten that he’s supposed to be making sure Victor’s enjoying himself too - he’s been too wrapped up in his own pleasure, his own needs. He’s is still happy to receive kisses, and it only arouses him more - his dick sliding between their bodies giving him all the friction he needs for that stimulation.

Victor’s hands press harder against his skin, pulling him closer to his body. Yuuri just thrusts his hips in a longer roll, pulling more on the knot. He clenches down on it too, making sure there’s no way that they’ll become detached.

It seems that’s all Victor needs - he lets out a startled moan as he has a second orgasm just because Yuuri keeps squeezing around him. The feeling of a second wave of hot cum splashing inside him sets Yuuri off too, his own cock smearing fluid between their abdomens. Their teeth clack together as Yuuri kisses him hard through their mutual orgasm.

He heaves a sigh as he comes down from the high. Victor’s still tight inside him, his knot still not deflating.

“I-,” Victor gasps, sounding breathy and awed, “That’s- I’ve never done that before,” he says.

Yuuri looks up at him with his blurry vision. Victor’s never had multiple orgasms before? Or maybe he means he’s never cum in someone twice without pulling out. Whichever one it is, Yuuri thinks it’s a little surprising this is Victor’s first time. With all the varied sex he’s claimed to have had, Yuuri had expected him to have tried almost everything.

He curls back into Victor, resting his head on Victor’s shoulder where it’s comfiest. “That’s good,” he slurs, body completely relaxed from the orgasms. This seems like it’s the end of the first heat round. Knowing how his body works, they probably have just enough time for Victor’s knot to go down before the second round hits. “Save your orgasms,” he mutters. And he means it. His body is built for multiples, but Victor’s Alpha body is not. What Yuuri needs is his erection, not his semen. Although, that’s a bonus, really.

Victor nods, then presses his cheek to Yuuri’s forehead. “I can’t go one-for-one with you, Yuuri. Hell, I can’t even go three-for-one with you. But as long as you’re satisfied, so am I.”

“Mnn,” he agrees, but that’s about all he can manage to say.

Six times within the first hour. Nowhere close to his record, but this is the most lucid he’s been after the first hour ever, so he counts that as a ‘win’. Most of the time it’s just mindless fucking where he emerges from the heat haze hours later sore, bruised and a little confused as to how many orgasms there’s been.

This time is more controlled. He’s not sure if it’s because he has an Alpha there to comfort him, or if it’s Victor himself that’s giving him more control over his body. Whatever it is, he’s grateful. But even now, although the first round has passed, he still has a heady, unfocused feeling. He hopes it doesn’t persist days into his heat like it has other times.

He closes his eyes for a moment, hoping to get a moments rest before the next heat wave hits. He wonders how he can bring up bonding, because right now, that’s the only thing he can think of that will get rid of his heat fog.

It’s of utmost importance he’s lucid quickly. If he has a week with Victor, _a week of sex_ with Victor, he wants to be completely cognisant for all of it. There are too many things he wants to try before their time is up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there were some people upset that their first time together was going to be while Yuuri was in a bit of a haze. But honestly, I kind of like it like this. Not everything in life is perfect, and this is just one of those things. They’ll have many more ‘firsts’ together later.
> 
> I could have made this so much longer, but I figure we might as well start slowly (HAHA). You’re just going to get multiple chapters per heat-week day. I hope that’s alright. 
> 
> (I know 6 orgasms in an hour for someone with a penis sounds a little far-fetched, but trust me, it's totally plausible. *wink*) But please let me know what you thought of my smut writing. 
> 
> As always, I’ll totally promote my [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com) because I want you to come say ‘hi’ and get updates (and teasers).


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are amazing - thank you for all the comments. They’ve been the only reason I’ve made it through the week. I’m glad you’re excited for the smut and I hope I can continue to deliver chapters you enjoy. Surprisingly, this chapter isn’t all smut?
> 
> There’s been some gorgeous fanart for the last chapter, and you should take a look at all of them: [here](https://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com/post/157360763134/kyyhky-another-ahem-scene-from) [here](https://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com/post/157355995899/alchemyandpenguinsledding-his-whole-body-shakes) and [here](https://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com/post/157546035344/piip-soooo-i-did-a-little-fanart-for).

Just like Yuuri had suspected, after about 20 minutes, he can feel the next wave of his heat coming on. Victor’s gone soft inside him now, knot almost completely gone. He seems to be dozing, breathing soft and even. Yuuri is still curled up on top of him, enjoying the way his body moves with Victor’s rising chest on his inhalations. It’s comforting to feel the rhythmic movements beneath him and hear the steady heartbeat under his cheek.

But as soothing as this is, as much as he loves being this close, this intimate with Victor, he's becoming restless. The next round of his heat is quickly creeping up on him. Instead of being able to count the minutes going by with four of Victor’s steady breaths, his exhalations are starting to blur together. And even though Yuuri has so far been able to match his breathing pace to Victor's, it's now turning more erratic. His heart has sped up and he's almost gasping in air.

His hole clenches around Victor's soft member involuntarily. The man beneath him shifts at the feeling, but doesn't wake.

Yuuri moves so he can press his mouth against Victor's skin. Like this he's able take in mouthfuls of Victor's calming Alpha scent. Except it isn't calming like it usually it is. It just makes him hotter. It makes his dick twitch from where it's trapped between the two of them.

He makes a pitiful noise in the back of his throat as his head swims with hormones. He's becoming desperate. He shifts his pelvis in order to get more friction for his rapidly growing erection. Expect that only manages to dislodge Victor from inside him, and he slips out of Yuuri, a slow dribble of cum following after.

Yuuri feels a shiver of cold run through him as his opening is exposed to air. With Victor asleep under him, his eyes slide to his toy box that’s sitting by the edge of the bed. He could just… help himself. Until Victor wakes up.

He reaches for the box, his arm feeling like lead weight. It’s hard to focus on the box, even, with his heat hormones building up so quickly. He doesn’t even get a hand on the box before there’s a firm grip on his arm.

“What do you think you’re doing?” A rough voice asks.

Yuuri does his best to turn towards the voice. It’s hash, demanding and full of Alpha command. “I-” he falters as he meets blue eyes. Yuuri knows he’s sympathetically pumping out his own pheromones in response - hoping to entice his partner into a round of fucking, which is probably why Victor’s eyes go dark with arousal almost immediately.

“Were you planning on using something besides my cock?” Victor asks harshly.

Yuuri melts under his strong hand and tone. In a quick move, Victor’s flipped them over and is crowding Yuuri in, hands braced on either side of him. It’s just Victor that’s filling Yuuri’s vision, the edges indistinct, like he has a pin-hole concentration, and all he’s worried about is where his next orgasm is coming from.   

Victor’s hand is gripping Yuuri’s wrist - pinning it to the bed, but Yuuri still uses the rest of his body to push up against Victor. Victor growls at the movement as Yuuri’s hard dick brushes past his abdomen.

“I just- I need it.” Yuuri says, because it’s the truth. Right now he’s getting to the point where he doesn’t care whether it’s a toy of Victor in him, as long as his needs are being met. Of course, Victor is the clear winner. Real flesh is always preferable to silicone. And a warm body that’s able to do at least half the work is better than Yuuri fucking himself.

“Then all you need to do is ask,” Victor responds. “If I’m asleep, wake me up. If I’m not being rough enough, tell me. If you need more, demand it. Don’t dismiss me. I don’t take kindly to that.” Victor’s grip tightens for a second before Yuuri is released.

Yuuri takes his request to heart. He reaches up, hand touching Victor’s face, just to make sure he’s not imagining he’s there. His heat haze is making it so hard to concentrate on anything that isn’t the throbbing feeling he’s feeling in his pelvis. “Fuck me,” he commands.

Victor looks down at him, his bangs falling away from his face so Yuuri can see how his eyes are shaded with lust. A small smirk grows on his lips. “And how would you like me to do that?” Victor asks. “Slowly? Rough? From behind?” He suggests.

Yuuri doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter how he’s fucked, only that he is. He drags Victor forward by the neck to kiss him roughly. It’s a hard press of lips, a fight of arousal. Yuuri hopes his tongue can convey what his voice can’t. He pulls away with a wet sound, lips wet, “Just. Fuck. Me.”

A dark look passes over Victor’s face for a moment - a possessiveness that Yuuri hasn’t seen on him before, but likes. Then he’s being flipped over by his hip, Victor crowding in behind him. Laying on his front, Victor picks him up by his hips, rubbing his erection between the cleft of Yuuri’s ass.

Everything narrows to that sensation. The hard, hot flesh rubbing right along where he wants it the most. Yuuri grabs at the sheets, fisting them and pushing his ass backwards towards the erection he wants.

The grip on his hips is hard, to the point it might bruise if tightened. He doesn’t have to wait any longer though, because the head of Victor’s dick is pressing against his opening just moments later. He was expecting to be teased a little bit, but Victor must sense how desperate he is because he’s right there, pressing into him without any preamble or preparation.

It’s good that he’s producing slick and that they’d fucked not long ago because Victor isn’t gentle about it. It’s quite rough, but that’s what Yuuri wants right now. It’s a testament to how both of their hormones have overtaken them. Victor’s Alpha side must be reacting to the pheromones Yuuri is producing because Yuuri himself is bathing in them - letting them overtake his senses.

Nothing else matters now except for the dick that’s inside him. He presses his forehead against the mattress, eyes closed as he focuses on the sensation. It’s this stretching feeling that’s not unpleasant, but fulfilling. He can feel each bump, the smallest ridges of the penis in him as it pulls out and pushes back in.

He flexes his muscles around it, trying to feel everything just that little bit more. The hands on his hips pull him backwards, pushing him even further onto the erection. There’s a hard snap of hips and everything he’s feeling doubles. The pleasure from each movement is amplified. Yuuri gasps into the sheets, crying out when the dick’s head hits a spot deep inside of him.

The pace increases then, hips snapping, driving hard into him. He pushes himself back into it too, matching the pace. He doesn’t know who’s behind him, doesn’t care who it is that’s fucking him, just that he’s getting rolling waves of hot pleasure down his spine, all pooling in his groin.

His skin is so sensitive that each touch sends tingles from the spot to the tips of his fingers. His nipples brush against the sheets once. And he sees sparks. They brush against the sheets a second time, making his nipples feel white hot. They touch the sheets for a third time and his legs shake so hard he almost collapses. The fourth time they rub against the fabric, he orgasms. It passes over him in waves, his vision turning bright white with over-stimulation. He swears loudly, half-yelling through his orgasm. The punishing rhythm doesn’t stop. He’s fucked right through that orgasm, and instead of coming down from his orgasm high, he plateaus, and the pleasure, somehow, just keeps building from there.

He cries into the sheets, babbling nonsense.

“You like this?” He hears from behind him. The voice is harsh, but the tone has a lilt to it, as if the speaker is enjoying how Yuuri is squirming.

He can’t form any words to answer.

There’s hot breath by his ear - his partner leaning across his back. There’s a low chuckle. “Is this what you wanted? To be fucked hard like this? Rough? Savage? To be fucked until you can’t orgasm anymore?”

Yuuri cries out, sounds escaping his lips as he voices his pleasure, although he’s unsure if they actually hold any meaning. That’s exactly what he wants. His partner doesn’t stop fucking him, but does reach around to grasp Yuuri’s dick and pump in time with his thrusts.

He loses himself in the pleasure, in the push and pull, the rough feeling of his orgasm being dragged from him until he isn’t sure how long it’s been or how many orgasms he’s had. It’s a blissful state to be in. Just riding waves of pleasure, uncaring of anything else that’s going on around him.

All that matters is how his nerves are being ignited with hot heat on each stroke inwards. And how each stroke out makes him crave the next. Even the wash of pleasure his orgasms give him are second to how full he feels. His body is aching fucked, to be filled with cum, to be used. He just hangs on and rides it out - revelling in the pleasure he’s allowed to receive as his body takes what it desires. He’s so thankful his partner knows enough to keep fucking him through his orgasms.

It’s only after a particularly hard orgasm does he start to come back to his senses - his body beginning to tire. This round of heat hasn’t finished yet, though. The man above him is breathing hard with exertion, damp with sweat, but he still keeps a punishing pace, fucking Yuuri _oh so_ hard.

Yuuri reaches towards his own nipple, tweaking it roughly on every third stroke, his erection being taking care of by the other person. In fact, the hand that’s around him pulls off for a moment to gather some of the cum that Yuuri’s spent on the sheets below him, and uses that as lubricant for jerking him off.

Yuuri fucks into the tight grip, caught between pushing back onto the dick and forward into the fist.

“Alpha!” He calls out because he’s forgotten the name of his partner. All he knows is it’s the Alpha he’s been craving. He can tell that much by the scent and the length of the dick inside him.

The Alpha’s hips snap forward just once more, and stop, buried all the way to the hilt, balls resting close to Yuuri’s own. Yuuri sobs because he’s so close to his orgasm. He needs the release. Craves it with every fibre of his being.

But suddenly the dick inside him is leaving and he’s flipped over. The man crowds over him, eyes hard, body lines screaming power and arousal. A glance downwards shows him a long, hard cock covered, shiny, with his slick. Yuuri fucks up into the air, his hips rolling upwards for even just the slightest bit of contact, the mimic of sex.

“No,” the man says, coming in close. “Not Alpha,” he growls.

Yuuri whines, closing his eyes and arching up into the body above him.

“Look at me!” The man barks.

Yuuri doesn’t want to - he just wants to be fucked again. But during his heat, the command of an Alpha is hard to ignore. He looks up to the man above him. The face is familiar. The eyes are like gems, watching him closely. There’s anger in them. And possessiveness.

“It’s me you’re doing this with,” he says. “Call my name only.” It’s a clear order.

Yuuri has to close his eyes again because his vision is swimming. “Victor,” he calls softly.

There’s a pleased noise above him, then his hips are being lifted upwards again and Victor is pushing back into him. Yuuri’s legs go over his shoulders as Victor presses him downward, bending him so he can fuck into him. “Don’t think of anyone else,” Victor tells him, as he thrust into him hard. Yuuri’s vision shakes with the force of it.

“Victor!” He calls. Victor tenses above him, stopping his thrusts.

“Ah, Yuuri,” he whines, “You can’t do that.”

Yuuri squirms, flexing his thighs so he can fuck himself on small amounts on Victor’s dick. “Mmnn,” he moans, and Victor’s fingers tremble where they’re pulling at his hips.

Victor’s face is flushed pink, his lips wet and parted in a soft ‘o’ as he watches Yuuri writhe on his dick. Slowly he plunges himself in again, and Yuuri cries out underneath him. Victor makes a noise in the back of his throat, and then he’s fucking Yuuri hard again, his hand back on Yuuri’s dick, jerking him off as well. His rhythm has faltered, but it takes almost no effort to make Yuuri cum.

His orgasm rushes through him hard and fast, from the spot that Victor’s hitting inside him through his dick and up towards his nipples. He paints his chest with one spray of semen, calling out Victor’s name loudly as he does.

Victor follows him over the edge at the sound of his name. He gives a choked-off gasp and pulses inside Yuuri, emptying himself. Yuuri collapses backwards, his heat satiated by the feeling of cum inside him.

Victor gives a few half-hearted thrusts as his orgasm subsides, then pulls out slowly. Yuuri’s so spent he can hardly protest the emptiness he’s left with. Victor lies down beside him, breathing hard.

“Well,” he says after a few moments, hand thrown over his chest, right where his heart is. Yuuri turns to look at him and is surprised by the dazzling smile Victor has. “That went well,” he seems to congratulate himself.

Yuuri half-smiles at him when their eyes meet. “Yeah. Really well.”

Victor’s grin grows, if that’s possible. He turns on his side, throws his arms over Yuuri’s chest and nuzzles his face into Yuuri’s neck. “Mnnn, it was a good orgasm too,” he says. “What about you?”

“Which one?” Yuuri says as his heat haze starts creeping back up on him. He thought he’d get more lucid time than this.

Victor chuckles a little and kisses Yuuri’s neck where he’s cuddled. “Any of them. All of them.”

“Good,” Yuuri slurs. “But you’ll just have to make them better,” he says, trying to use the breathing techniques he learned for his anxiety attacks to keep himself there in the moment with Victor for just a little longer. It doesn’t really work. He does last another ten minutes before he’s hard again and asking for Victor’s dick.

“Hmm? Again? Of course I’m ready to go another round,” Victor says sincerely, still smiling a little as Yuuri begs for him again.

The smiles don’t last much longer than that.

* * *

 

After about his fifth heat wave there’s morning light coming in through his window. Victor fucks into him, but it’s with less vigour than before. Yuuri is still as insatiable though, and although he’s producing almost nothing in the way of cum, he’s still orgasming at least twice a round.

Victor has forgone his own orgasm two rounds in a row now, realising he’s going to have to pace himself if he’ll be able to provide Yuuri with what he needs.

On Yuuri’s part he’s (mostly) been able to keep himself in the moment enough that he knows it’s Victor he’s with. He hates this first bit of his heat. The orgasms are intense and plentiful, but he’s hardly ever in a state to enjoy them. All he’s doing is satiating his body’s needs.

He just hopes he’s not stuck like this for days because it’s not really going to be overly enjoyable for both of them if he is. He had other plans for this heat. Plans that involved him being able to talk to Victor about what he wants. Plans that had included the kinks Victor had been so forthcoming with.

This round, Victor can’t stave off his orgasm any longer. He cums before Yuuri’s even done, and Yuuri has to jerk himself to completion before Victor goes soft inside of him. Victor hasn’t bothered to knot since the first time, probably in fear that Yuuri’s next heat round will come before his knot goes down enough Yuuri won’t tear anything while fucking himself on Victor.

Victor sits ups, leaning against the wall under the window and grabs a glass of water from beside the mattress. He’d brought back for Yuuri after the last round just as Yuuri had gotten distracted with urges. He downs the whole thing.

Yuuri finds the energy to move so he’s can put his head in Victor’s lap. Even between heat rounds he feels better the closer he is to Victor’s penis. He does a good job of ignoring Victor’s wet lips and manages to fall asleep for the first time since he woke up in heat.

Victor’s still propped up against the wall, fingers moving gently through Yuuri’s hair when he wakes. He’s looking down at Yuuri with soft eyes. He looks… _wistful_ , if Yuuri can read him correctly through the jumble of ‘you need a dick in you’ mantras that are invading his thoughts.

“Did you not rest at all?” Yuuri asks, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes. It’s surprising he’s coherent enough to form a proper question.

“No,” Victor’s honest with him.

“Why not?” Yuuri asks, blinking at him. He pushes away the thoughts of just pinning Victor down to the mattress and riding him again. Victor seems a little distant. “You should get as much rest as you can. It's not like my heat takes a break for sleep.”

“I know,” Victor says solemnly. “I was just thinking.”

Yuuri freezes, his body going completely tense. There’s something in Victor’s voice he doesn’t like. The boisterous, excited tone he’d used before is gone. Immediately, all Yuuri can think of are the worst scenarios. Victor’s been _thinking_ , and that can only mean he’s been thinking about _Yuuri_ , and this damn heat.

He’s probably come to the conclusion that Yuuri’s too much to handle. It’s been hours and there’s no sign of his heat haze lightening at all. Victor’s probably had all the orgasms he wants and is ready to be done with all of this. “Do you need to safeword?” Yuuri chokes out.

“What?” Victor stares down at him. “Do I need to-? No. Of course, not, no.” His face softens, and he leans down to press a chaste kiss to Yuuri’s lips. Yuuri’s heart lifts in relief. “It’s nothing like that,” Victor assures him. “Please don’t think I’d ever willingly leave you during your heat.”

Yuuri nods, surprised that there seem to be tears in his eyes.

“I was just thinking…” Victor sighs, and looks away from Yuuri. “How am I going to keep up with you?” It’s said in a soft, quiet voice, like Victor’s terrified of admitting it.

“What?” Yuuri asks, staring up at him. Victor’s done a fantastic job so far. He’s made it through some of the worst parts. Yuuri thinks he’s done a splendid job of keeping up so far.

“It’s just… I didn’t think it would be like this.” Victor admits. “And I know you told me. Warned me. But… I don’t want to let you down. Have I even been doing okay so far?”

Yuuri scrambles up to his knees because this is important. He needs to make Victor understand how grateful he is. He needs to get his words out before his next heat session hits. “You’ve been perfect,” he says, straddling Victor’s lap. “More than,” he adds. He wants to add in how Victor’s done a better job than both Phichit and Mark so far and how even just having him here has helped lessen the intensity of his heat, but then heat wave hits again and instead of using words, he’s using his mouth and tongue to try to convince Victor.

Victor reciprocates, kissing him back hard, pulling Yuuri in close to him, their bare chests meeting. “I’m going to do my best to please you,” Victor promises, before kissing him again until he’s hard and ready to go.

Yuuri just lets himself be pushed back on the mattress with his legs in the air so Victor can press back into him. There’s still pleasure on Victor’s face as he sheaths himself inside Yuuri. It’s a good sign.

Victor takes one of his legs and presses his hand against his thigh, pushing Yuuri’s legs open even further. His eyes are dilated, almost black, as he opens Yuuri up under him, forcing another orgasm from him with only a few minutes of fucking. He’s still aroused by Yuuri, still able to satiate him without complaint, so Yuuri lets himself believe that Victor really was only worried about his own stamina and nothing else.

But that little bit of doubt is still there, and it makes him desperate to be more cognisant for his next round. He wants nothing more than to be able to call out something more than Victor’s name between orgasms. Which is why, when the heat round has passed, one orgasm for Victor, three for Yuuri, he turns to Victor and says, “Bond me.”

Victor freezes as he’s wiping his cum from between Yuuri’s legs with one of shirts he’d pick up from Yuuri’s little nest around the bed. “Sorry?” He asks.

“You said earlier, before my heat,” Yuuri reminds him, “that you’d be okay with bonding.”

Victor frowns because they both know there’s more to it than that. “I don’t think that’s really what we agreed to.” He finishes wiping Yuuri off and tosses the shirt to the side.

It’s so frustrating because even now, when Victor’s struggling to control Yuuri’s heat, even when Yuuri is practically begging him for a bond, he’s still hesitant. “You’re the one who suggested the bond,” Yuuri tells him. He remembers that for sure because he was disappointed the two-way bond had been rejected and Victor had tried to pacify him by offering the one-way.

“I suggested a one-way bond, yes,” Victor agrees with a smile. It’s the same kind of smile he uses when addressing the media. “But I told you I wasn’t comfortable with a reciprocal one.”

“Yes, fine,” Yuuri huffs, propping himself up on his elbows to look at Victor. He’d held out a tiny bit of hope that the beginning of his heat might have changed Victor’s mind about a two-way bond. “One-way is fine. That’s why I asked you to bond me.” He doesn’t want to waste time having this conversation. He probably only has a few good minutes of lucidity left.

Victor crosses his arms in front of him - a physical barrier that shows Yuuri just how guarded he’s being about this. He really can’t understand it. Victor bonded with Chris during his heat. Why is Yuuri any different. Does Victor expect him to be worse? Is Victor afraid that Yuuri will be too clingy afterwards? Because, okay, that might be true, but he’s controlled himself well around his idol so far.

“We didn’t agree on when we’d bond,” Victor tells him, and then cuts Yuuri off when he’s about to reply. “You’re the one who suggested bonding the first day. I didn’t agree to it. You also said that you’d let me choose which way we bonded.”

Yuuri has nothing to say to that. Victor’s taking every possible excuse to not do this. “Do you hate me that much?” Yuuri has to ask. Because what other reason is there for Victor to be so wary of a bond.  

Victor drops his arms immediately, staring at Yuuri, mouth falling open. “No. I- Yuuri. No. I don’t hate you. Why would you ever think that?”

In a situation like this, normally Yuuri would withdraw, hiding his emotions. But his heat has brought everything to the surface and it’s hard enough to control his hormones, let alone his feelings. “Why, then, have you been so hesitant about bonding with me? The only thing I can come up with is you don’t want me to know how disgusted you are by me.” He says honestly. He’s astounded he hasn’t started crying yet.

It feels like there’s a weight on his chest as Victor sits there quietly, mouth open as if he doesn’t know how to respond.

“A bond is only beneficial at this point,” Yuuri says into the silence between them. “It will help produce faster orgasms and increase the time between heat rounds. Sharing some of your base emotions, feelings that aren’t produced by heat hormones, will help me control my own. That’s all it is.” He swallows thickly so he can actually get the next words out. “So unless you hate me, it doesn’t matter what feelings you show across the bond.” For now, he can offer this lie.

Victor’s face darkens. “Don’t.” He says. “Don’t trivialize them.”

Yuuri can feel his hands shaking. They should have had this conversation before his heat started. “What?” He asks, unsure of where Victor is taking this. He curls in on himself a little, trying to seem smaller. He wishes he hadn’t said anything - if Victor is angry with what he’s said, the rest of the week might become lonely.

“Don’t trivialize my feelings,” he clarifies. He lays a hand on Yuuri’s knee and Yuuri flinches a little. Victor notices, but moves past it, intent on making him understand. “Yuuri. Please don’t tell me it doesn’t matter how I feel for you. That’s _why_ I’ve been putting it off.”

Yuuri looks away from him, face turned down towards the sheets. He wishes he knew what Victor’s feelings were. He’s been so quiet on the matter, and even now, he isn’t denying any of the negative feelings Yuuri’s suggested.

Victor takes a big breath, and Yuuri suddenly realises that this might be hard for Victor too. That maybe he’s having just as much trouble expressing himself as Yuuri is. He’s always imagined that Victor’s been the one better able to explain his emotions - he’s helped Yuuri to communicate his own. But this is the first time Yuuri thinks he’s heard Victor talk so openly, actually using his words, about his personal feelings. Sure, he’s told Yuuri all about his personal life (things Yuuri already knows from interviews and things he doesn’t), but it’s never been more than stories.  It’s never been how Victor felts about those moments.

He looks back up, and at the eye contact, Victor takes the opportunity and dips in, hand on Yuuri’s chin, keeping his attention focussed on Victor.  “After all this time you can still imagine that I hate you?” He asks quietly. “I’ve been doing a horrible job as your coach, as your friend, if you can still think that.”

“I-” Yuuri starts, tongue feeling too large for his mouth.

“Yuuri,” Victor says softly still, “you’re gorgeous. Amazing. Stunning. Please don’t think I don’t notice that. Have my actions not conveyed my interest in you?”

Yuuri immediately feels foolish because Victor’s done nothing but show his fascination of Yuuri since he first arrived. Yuuri knows he’s been trying to find other explanations for Victor’s actions all along. Coming out to Hasetsu to coach Yuuri after seeing his video? Victor was using him to surprise his fans. Casually touching Yuuri from that first night onwards? Just his playboy attitude he used on everyone. Asking to share his heat? He was interested in learning how Omegas planned for heats. Talking Yuuri through his anxiety, never taking his eyes off Yuuri during an Eros performance? Just part of his duties as a coach.

But what he hasn’t done is attribute any of those actions to Victor’s feelings towards him. He’s denied them in the hopes that if he didn’t recognise them, he could save his own heart. But now here they are, and Yuuri’s put off thinking about it for so long he feels completely unprepared for anything Victor’s about to say.

“I’m not going to say that I understand my own feelings,” Victor says, eyes searching Yuuri’s face for any sign of understanding. “They’re quite a jumble, really,” he admits. “I didn’t want you to be confused by anything I might put across the bond. But apparently I’ve done a good job of confusing you already.”

Yuuri’s bottom lips trembles and Victor’s thumb brushes past it in comfort. He wants to kiss Victor - tell him that even this is enough, but there's still more to be said.

“If you're sure you can listen to just my base emotions - the attraction, the affection, the arousal - and not worry about the rest of it, then I’ll bond with you.” Victor tells him. “I want to go at your pace, and I’ve been afraid that if I show you where I am, what I’m feeling, then I’ll force you there as well.”

There are still so many questions that need to be answered - so many things they should discuss, but all Yuuri cares about is that Victor’s just admitted he’s attracted to Yuuri. Which seems like something so simple, or at least something he should have already come to terms with by now, but actually hearing it from Victor makes it tangible.

“Then yes,” Yuuri says. “Whatever bond you’re willing to give me, it’s fine. You can’t force me to feel something I already do.” he admits. Yuuri’s sure that whatever Victor’s feeling - however jumbled it may be, won’t be anything compared to what he’s felt for years.

Victor’s face lights up with a giant smile. His eyes brighter and bluer than Yuuri’s ever seen. “Okay,” he says, then leans in and kisses Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of a rollercoaster ride of emotions for Yuuri (and probably Victor too), but that’s how the heat’s affecting him right now. I’m hoping bonding will help to settle them into a place where they can have some fun sex. 
> 
> I did want to make sure that the bonding scene was done right, so you’ll just have to wait until next chapter to see what it’s like for the two of them. It’s going to be quite an experience….
> 
> As always, I’m really hoping you’ll come visit on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com) because I post updates as well as drabbles that you might like.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being so patient while waiting for this chapter, I hope it lives up to your expectations. Thanks to everyone for all your comments in the last few chapters. Re-reading them has given me such motivation to keep writing.
> 
> ((I do have to warn you guys, everything is a little ‘vanilla’ at first, and that’s because of Yuuri’s heat. It’s hard for them both to tell where the line is when Yuuri’s too wrapped up in hormones. Don’t worry though. You’ll get more hardcore things later on. ;) ))

As they kiss, Yuuri can feel some of the tension slip from his body. And yet, when he thinks about what might happen, what they'd just agreed on, he feels jittery and restless. This time it isn't because of his heat. 

Although Victor has the option to let Yuuri bond him, he doubts that’s what Victor will choose. The whole reason for trying a bond bite now is to get Yuuri more stable, and that requires Victor to bite him. 

He tries to tell himself that no matter what he feels through the bond, good or bad, he can’t jump to conclusions. He remembers Phichit’s bond and how he’d felt something so close to love that, if he hadn’t been so aware of Phichit’s platonic affections, he might have misconstrued the base emotion. 

He reminds himself that even if he can feel Victor’s emotions, he can’t profess to understand the reasoning behind them because he will, no doubt, try to attribute Victor’s emotions to a completely made-up explanation. He’s good at that. He’ll either try to explain them away, or he’ll try to make them into something they’re not. Neither extreme is going to help him. 

He has to think back to Phichit’s words from less than a day ago. _ Don’t assume. Just ask.  _

He should, actually, ask Victor right now, before everything gets muddied by their mix of emotions, but he’s not in the right headspace to have that conversation with his heat hormones laying a thick layer of fog over everything. So he kisses Victor with enough of his own emotions that he hopes Victor understands what he’s getting into. 

Maybe Victor was right to ask they postpone bonding. Maybe he should have been more hesitant about it. 

But then he thinks about being that close to Victor - sharing just that little bit more with him - and the deep ache to be bonded, that he feels in his bones, returns. 

“Please fuck me again,” he begs. They’ve just finished a round, but if he’s going to be bonded, he’d rather start when he’s feeling more lucid. 

He’s impressed when Victor rolls his hips forward against the back of Yuuri’s thighs and his dick is already hard. Victor might be just as excited as Yuuri is for this moment. 

He tries to roll over to present his ass to Victor because it’s easier for both of them that way, but he’s stopped before he can even get onto this side. 

“No,” Victor says, knowing what Yuuri’s doing. “Just like this. Where I can look at you. If our first time couldn’t be romantic, I can at least try my best with this.”

Yuuri surges upward to kiss Victor again greedily, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck and pulling his mouth hard against his own. It’s sloppy and wet and rough, but Yuuri can’t possibly use his words to convey how much it means to him that Victor’s treating him like something precious. 

It’s not that he’s never been treated with respect or tenderness, but it’s never been with someone who he wants for more than his heat. It’s never been from someone like Victor. And that makes all the difference. 

Victor doesn’t waste time, gently probing Yuuri with two fingers to make sure he’s still loose and wet enough. He doesn’t even break their kiss to line himself up and slide in slowly. 

Yuuri gasps at the feeling, stealing a moan right from Victor’s mouth. It’s easy to find a rhythm, Victor snapping his hips up into Yuuri, Yuuri lifting with his pelvis to meet him for each thrust. Victor feels so hot and large inside of him. It’s the first time he’s been coherent enough to fully assess how Victor’s dick feels in him.

It’s perfect.

It’s the ideal length, brushing past his prostate with every thrust. It’s not too wide, but has a sizable girth enough to keep him feeling full. And, honestly, if feels amazing in him, like it fits in his passage almost perfectly. He can even feel the coronal ridge sliding along inside him, and sensation is sublime. 

He breaks away from Victor’s kiss and, before his heat hormones kick in so he’s too far gone, says, “I’m here. I’m  _ here _ . Do it.”

And Victor doesn’t even hesitate, just kisses down the left side of his neck until his mouth is over the scent gland in the crook of Yuuri’s neck. He puts his hands on Yuuri’s waist to keep Yuuri from squirming down against his hips. He inhales deeply, taking in Yuuri’s scent.

And then his teeth are there, pressing firmly against Yuuri’s neck. Not hard enough to break skin, but hard enough to bruise. He sucks at the spot too - stimulating the gland. Yuuri can smell the rush of pheromones his body produces in reaction. 

Victor must get a mouthful of the scent as well because he moans into the bite, pressing down just a little more. Yuuri’s neck tingles hot where Victor’s incisors are pressed. It’s a little painful, but his endorphins are dulling everything except pleasure. 

And then, with a burst, it happens.

It’s like a glowstick breaking, sudden and unstoppable, as heat blooms at the bite and rolls like molten lava outwards. It’s a chain reaction - his whole body lighting up with the warm flood of the bond. It only takes a few moments, but as the heat slides all the way down to his toes, the bond is complete. 

He freezes for a moment, right on the edge of an orgasm from the sheer volume of  _ Victor _ that’s passing through his body. Victor must know what’s happened because he pauses as well, teeth still hard against Yuuri’s neck. But then he releases the pressure of his bite and Yuuri breathes in, feeling overwhelming relief.

His body trembles, as if he’s having an orgasm, and he might as well be with the amount of dopamine rushing through his system. Victor hums in pleasure against his neck as Yuuri clenches around him.  

The dulled edge to his sense from his heat haze lifts a little and he feels more clear-headed than he has since his heat began. He can feel everything. From the stretch of Victor inside him, to the fluttering muscles in his abdomen, to the brush of Victor’s nipple against his chest, to the jut of Victor’s hipbone against the back of his thigh, to the soft kisses Victor is brushing against the bond bite, to the dull sting of the bite, to the wash of hot arousal, to the feelings that aren’t his own just under the surface. 

Victor presses himself in a little further, still mouthing at Yuuri’s neck.

“Wait, just, wait,” he breaths, pressing a hand against Victor’s chest to stop him moving. He gets distracted by the feel of his heartbeat instead. He basks in the bond, relishing the glow he feels. 

Victor’s emotions are there - he can feel his steady presence through the bond. He tries to categorize them, but they’re hard to distinguish from his own and he doesn't know Victor well enough to catch the nuances. 

It’s an overwhelmingly positive feeling, though. The happy warmth of desire, the calming depth of affection. There’s also a tinge of nervousness that’s a little surprising. He didn’t think Victor got nervous about anything. Not on the ice, not off the ice. Not about Yuuri.

He tries to tease apart the other emotions, but Victor pulls back from his neck, bracing himself above Yuuri and catching his eyes. They’re like pools of crystal water, a cleansing reminder of who exactly has just bonded with him. He feels full to bursting with emotions and pleasure. 

“God, you’re beautiful,” Victor says in a hushed tone, staring reverently as Yuuri’s face. “Just incredible.”

Yuuri blushes and Victor’s hand finds his cheek, tracing the flush of pink across his nose and then gently pushing Yuuri’s hair away from his face. 

“Absolutely gorgeous,” Victor praises with a smile. 

Yuuri’s eyes flutter shut and he presses his cheek into the palm of Victor’s hand. He swallows, willing his tongue to finally move. “You, also,” he says, looking shyly up at Victor. “Gorgeous. Handsome.” He has to understand how attractive he is. Especially when he’s naked and above Yuuri. 

Victor shakes his head. “No. Not like this. You’re the one who looks perfect; the way you’re laid out on the sheets for me, how you’re flushed right here,” he drags his hand down Yuuri’s neck and then down his chest to rest on his sternum, “how tight you are around me,” he gives a small thrust into Yuuri to remind him that they’re both still joined together, “how well you’ve just accepted my bond bite,” his gaze flicker to Yuuri’s neck. “Just breathtaking.”

Yuuri searches his eyes and finds honesty, and then he allows himself to dive into Victor’s feelings across the bond as well. There’s no lie there, no deception. Just pure and honest admiration. It sends a hot shiver down his spine.

Yuuri runs his hands down Victor’s sides, unsure of how to respond besides urging Victor’s hips forward to keep fucking him. 

Victor takes it slow, drawing out leisurely and pushing back in at the same torturous pace.  “I wish you could see it,” Victor says, looking down their bodies. 

“See what?” Yuuri asks, panting as he starts to get overwhelmed by the bond again. 

“The way my dick looks in you. How your hole stretches around me, sucking me in.” Victor moans in the back of his throat. “You’re so sexy.” He leans down and kisses Yuuri, pressing his dick hard in all the way.

Yuuri grabs at his shoulders, digging his blunt fingertips into the muscles of Victor’s back as he relishes in how deeply Victor is seated in him, his balls resting high and heavy against Yuuri’s ass. 

“I could stare at you for hours. I could stay here, in you, for hours. You’ve been so good, taking my cock over and over. You’re insatiable. Amazing.” Victor praises again, crowding Yuuri, kissing his collarbone. “You.” A kiss to his shoulder. “Are.” A kiss right below his ear. “ _ Stunning _ ,” A kiss right over the bond bite.

Yuuri sees white as his orgasm rushes through him unexpectedly. He cries out, throwing his head back as Victor sucks at the bond spot again, increasing their connection just a little more. The arousal he can feel from across the bond just makes his orgasm more intense and he sobs in pleasure. 

“See? Just incredible.” Victor says before he lays kisses across Yuuri’s forehead. He finally moves, fucking Yuuri through the last of his orgasm. 

Victor brings him off three more times, his orgasms coming much more easily and more intensely than without the bond. And when he stops shaking from his last orgasm he’s starting to feel like he might be satiated. 

When Victor confirms that this round of Yuuri’s heat is done, he withdraws and sits up, stretching. 

“Mnn, let me finish you off,” Yuuri says, grabbing for Victor’s still-hard dick. 

“I’m fine,” Victor says with a smile. “I want to be ready for your next round.” He shuffles so he can stand up. 

Yuuri appreciates the view of Victor’s muscles moving smoothly under his skin. He stands there, looking down at Yuuri on the mattress, his dick jutting out lewdly from his body. Yuuri can’t wait to get his lips on it, even if he’ll have to wait a couple days until they have the luxury to do that. 

Victor goes to the bathroom for a quick moment and returns with a glass of water for Yuuri. He holds it out for Yuuri when he returns. His dick is still hard and Yuuri knows what he’d rather have in his mouth. He shakes his head ‘no’, unconcerned with drinking. 

“Please drink the water,” Victor’s firm calmness translates across the bond. Yuuri takes the glass, downs it quickly and gives it back. 

Victor goes back to the sink the refill it and gives it to Yuuri again. Yuuri almost finishes that glass too, surprised at how thirsty he actually is. 

“Slower, Моя звезда” Victor prompts, so Yuuri sips the last bit of water. 

Victor settles in next to him on the mattress again, laying on his back and gesturing for Yuuri to curl up into him. Yuuri puts the cup on the floor next to his glasses at the top of the mattress and then cuddles up to Victor, resting his head on his chest. He breathes deeply. Victor’s hand goes to Yuuri’s hair, combing it lightly with his fingers. 

Now that he has the time and he’s not caught up in sex, he closes his eyes and tries to feel the bond. He tries again to separate the jumble of emotions that Victor’s projecting. It’s still a heady feeling - this closeness that’s more than physical - and a little confusing, but he’s interrupted.

“So,” Victor says softly, his voice carrying through his chest as well. “The bond. How does it compare?”

“Compare?” Yuuri asks, looking up at Victor’s jaw. 

“Mmnn,” Victor confirms. “You said you’d had one before. Is it as good as then? Is it what you wanted? Or is it overwhelming?”

“Hhmm,” Yuuri hums, thinking about his bond with Phichit. First thing, however, he needs to tell Victor how much he appreciates the bond and not only because the intense heat haze he’d had earlier is subdued. “It’s good. Not overwhelming at all. Or, at least, it’s in a good way.”

Victor breathes a sigh of relief. “So it’s not too much for you?”

“No, it’s perfect,” Yuuri tells him and Victor presses a kiss to the top of his head. “It’s a little confusing,” he admits. “And it isn’t as strong as when I bonded with Phichit.”

Victor does his best not to tense at the name, but Yuuri can feel the tightness of the muscles in Victor’s chest. 

He fumbles to explain what it means, hoping that Victor doesn’t get the wrong impression. “But that was a different situation, different person.”

“I know,” Victor says, fingers pausing in Yuuri’s hair. 

“With Phichit,” Yuuri says, throwing one arm across Victor’s stomach and pulling them a little closer together, “we’d known each other for years.” And they’d had no secrets from each other either. There was no reason to hold back like Yuuri’s sure Victor is doing right now. 

“Yeah,” Victor agrees. They’ve only known each other, really known each other, for a few months. Sure, they’re closer than Yuuri’s really been with anyone before. More comfortable with each other than Yuuri thought was possible for him. 

“It was also right at the end of my heat,” Yuuri explains further. He wants Victor to understand that just because their bond is different doesn’t mean it’s worse in any way. “I was almost out of my heat and much more aware of everything.”

“How are you doing now? With the heat haze?” Victor asks, other hand coming up to rest on Yuuri’s arm across his waist. 

“Fine. I think. It’s been pretty intense, but I think the bond helped,” Yuuri’s honest. He closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to squint at his desk across the room. 

“Good,” Victor says and they lapse into silence. 

Yuuri allows himself to finally take stock of what he can feel through the bond. There’s this intimate, unexplainable connection to the man next to him, and in some ways it does feel similar to his bond with Phichit, yet the two aren’t really comparable. 

With Phichit he’d felt almost equal parts arousal and affection across the bond. There hadn’t been too many other extraneous feelings. It makes sense that it had been so simple with Phichit - they knew what to expect from each other, knew where they stood in their friendship, and knew what would happen after Yuuri’s heat. 

With Victor, though, everything is so much more complex. There’s so much sexual tension from his pre-heat that he’s sure his body has a built up reserve of sexual energy for Victor. He still doesn’t fully understand Victor’s motivations for joining his heat. Yes, okay, Victor had said he was attracted to Yuuri, that he wanted to have sex with him, help him through it. But how deep that attraction runs, Yuuri still doesn't know. 

He also has no idea what’s supposed to happen after his heat. He has almost a full week to spend with Victor now, but there’s no guarantee that Victor won’t withdraw from him after the week is finished. There’re too many uncertainties on both sides, and even if Victor isn’t bonded to him, he probably knows that Yuuri’s hesitant about their relationship. 

He really hopes that this doesn’t ruin what they have. It’s something he’s been refusing to think about lately. If he thinks too much about it he’ll convince himself that Victor will leave after the week is done. He knows, logically, that’s a ridiculous move - Victor has already put so much time and effort into being his coach that it would be a waste of his retirement to give up on Yuuri now. 

But, Yuuri reminds himself, he’s heard the gossip, read the articles, about how Victor drops his partners, his conquests, without a second thought if he finds something better. He takes a slow breath. Victor’s calming presence, both his body and feelings, help Yuuri to control himself. He can’t get caught up in thinking about the ‘what ifs’ now. 

Besides, Victor has never acted this way with any of his other lovers. He’s never dropped his career to coach someone before. Yuuri knows that at least in that way, he’s special. But is there anything beyond just lust and a professional interest? 

He doesn’t actually have much of an idea of what Victor really feels for him. He’d been hoping to learn more through the bond, but there’s just too much information he’s lacking. 

What he does notice, is that whatever Victor feels for him, it doesn’t even come close to the affection he’d felt from Phichit. 

It’s not like it isn’t there, that hint of something deeper, but it’s nowhere near as intense. He has to search for it - really work to find it underlying the arousal. It’s a little disheartening to think that his friend loves him more than Victor does, but it’s not unexpected either. He can’t expect Victor to fall in love with him after just a couple months, can he? Can he even be so arrogant to think that he can capture Victor’s heart at all? 

However, he doesn’t have anything to compare Victor’s feelings to besides Phichit. So he doesn't know if what Victor’s feeling is the same as what a paid heat partner might feel. He wishes he’d taken up Katashi’s offer to bond during that first heat he spent with someone. At least that way he would have some frame of reference. He’d been too shy back then to accept something so intimate and intense, still a little unsure of sharing himself with someone he barely knew. 

He tries to convince himself that the warmth he feels from Victor through their bond is the beginnings of something more. And that maybe, with enough attention, with enough work on Yuuri’s part, he might be able to make it blossom into something more intense. 

He’d seduced Victor on the ice, to the point he’d stayed in Hasetsu to coach Yuuri instead of heading back to Russian with Yurio. There’s nothing to say that Yuuri can’t seduce him in bed as well, so he’ll stay here, next to Yuuri, instead of moving back to St. Petersburg when their season is finished. 

If he manages to keep Victor interested until after the Grand Prix, he’ll count that as a win. 

Still, he’d held out hope that after everything Victor had confessed to - his attraction since their first meeting, his worry over the intensity of his feelings through the bond, his desire to not only share Yuuri’s heat, but help plan it - that maybe he might have felt something more intense towards Yuuri. 

Yuuri had even held out hope that after the summer they’d shared together, with all the things they’d done past just training, and all the flirting they’d done, Victor might feel the same way he does. 

He’s suddenly glad that Victor hadn’t agreed to a two-way bond because Yuuri would feel a little embarrassed by how deeply he’s fallen for Victor in comparison. If he bonds Victor it will be obvious to how much more invested Yuuri is in the two of them. 

Yet.  _ Yet, _ when he tries to sift through the feelings that are mixing with his own, he can feel devotion. It’s a heavy warm feeling that spreads across his shoulder blades. Victor puts everything he has into his work, and anyone can see, even Yuuri, that Victor’s committed to him right now. 

He’s the one who stole Victor away from the world. And even if that’s only for a season, even if he can only have Victor’s undivided attention for a year, then he’ll be happy with that. It’s so much more than he ever expected to have. 

Victor squeezes his arm a little and makes a small noise, bringing him back to reality. So he just lays there with him, trying not to worry about how Victor’s feelings are flowing across the bond to him, but his can’t be returned. He wonders if he’ll get to a point he’s too filled with emotions to continue, where their combined passions will be too much to handle alone. 

He lasts almost an hour and half before he’s overtaken with the need to be fucked again. It’s more than twice as long as his other lucid moments between heat rounds so far and it’s all due to the bond. 

Victor is asleep beneath him, breathing soft and steady. Yuuri quietly disentangles himself from Victor’s arms, rolling to the far side of the bed so he doesn't disturb his sleeping partner. 

Making a quick decision, he goes to his closet, taking a few moments to take in the scent of Victor on the clothes stored in there. His suppressed scent is so different from the Alpha scent he exudes now. It’s not worse, per say, just different. A little comforting, if he’s truthful. It’s subtle musky smell he usually associates with Victor. It’s the smell of a shower after a hard day’s training and the soft scent of evening meals together. 

It’s a nice reminder that the Alpha he’s using for sex is also the man he’s been sharing his life with for months. Not that he has a label for what they are - what had they decided at the beach that day? Not friends, not lovers, just… Victor and Yuuri. 

He quietly flips through the hanging clothes until he finds what he wants: one of Victor’s old skating costumes. He carefully removes the silk sash from it and then returns to the bed. 

Victor is slowly blinking up at him, having been roused by Yuuri’s search. 

“Is it okay to use this?” Yuuri asks, standing at the edge of the bed. He can feel his slick beginning to drip down his legs. 

“Depends what you’re using it for,” Victor says, licking his lips. 

“I was-” Yuuri hesitates, wondering if this is something he should be suggesting, but he remembers all the kinks Victor has sprung on him in the days leading up to his heat and knows it’s fine to ask. It’ll probably welcomed, even. “I was thinking - you seem tired. Why don’t you let me do some work this time around?”

“Oh?” Victor asks, propping himself up on his elbows so he can look at Yuuri better. 

“The bond’s helped. Things aren’t as… fuzzy.” Yuuri explains. “And I’d like to give back a little.”

Victor looks like he wants to protest that Yuuri feels the need to do work, but he instead he goes with, “you still haven’t said what the silk is for.”

Yuuri flushes and bites his lip. He averts his eyes down to the navy blue fabric in his hands. “I was thinking I could…” he hesitates for a small second, “...tie you up.” There’s a heavy pauses and Yuuri gets flustered and says, “just to make sure you don’t try to work too much.”

“So you want to tie me up and, what, use me like a sex toy?” Victor asks. 

“Yes,” Yuuri says without meaning to. 

He looks up at Victor with wide eyes, but Victor’s expression alleviates any misconceptions he’s had. His eyes are dark with lust and his dick is twitching in interest. Now that Yuuri can see his physical response he can also feel the overwhelming arousal through the bond. 

“By all means,” Victor says, lying back down on the bed and stretching his arms above his head. 

Yuuri drops to his knees on the mattress, crawling forward on top of Victor, emboldened by the reaction he’s receiving. He straddles Victor’s waist, his slick smearing across Victor’s navel as he reaches for his wrists. 

Victor is pliant beneath him, watching his every move carefully. He ties Victor’s wrists together, not tightly, but enough that he won’t be able to separate them. 

There’s no headboard to attach to, so he opts for just tying the wrists together. He makes a small knot and places one end of the sash in Victor’s palm. “If you pull this, you should be able to get free,” he tells Victor. Knowing how intense his heat can get, he feels better knowing that Victor has an easy escape, should he need it. 

Victor holds onto the end, but also grabs the knot Yuuri’s made so it won’t unravel at all. “I’m all yours,” Victor says, relaxing into the mattress. 

But now that he has Victor splayed out under him and at his mercy, he doesn’t know where to start. Usually he’d start slowly, work his way down Victor’s body with his lips. But the haze is starting to set in and he’s already craving that full feeling again, so he wastes no time in reaching behind himself to do a quick preparatory stretch. 

“Wow,” Victor says watching where Yuuri’s fingers have disappeared inside himself. “Going right for it, hmm?”

“Foreplay another day,” Yuuri pants, scissoring his fingers to make sure there’s enough give. He’s tensed up a little since their last round. He’s dripping wet, though, and that will help. 

Victor reaches up with his tied wrists, slips them over Yuuri’s head and draws him down for a kiss. Yuuri pistons his fingers into himself every time Victor’s tongue swirls against his own. The kiss helps him relax enough to stretch himself open. 

He carefully removes Victor’s arms, breaking their kiss reluctantly. He pins Victor’s wrists to the mattress with one hand and give him one last, hard kiss before he lets go completely. Victor keeps his wrists in place above his head. 

Yuuri shuffles back on his knees a little, reaches behind him to position Victor’s hard dick at his entrance, then slowly lowers himself onto his thick shaft. He groans in appreciation as it satiates one of the cravings his body is feeling. 

He presses his hand on Victor’s ribs and slowly grinds down on Victor’s dick, hips moving in small circles. Victor is gasping in pleasure too, hands tight on the restraint around his wrist. 

He can feel the tip of Victor’s cock deep inside him, twitching in arousal with each circle of Yuuri’s hips. He reaches out for one of Victor’s nipples and thumbs it. 

Victor gasps and thrusts his hips up, pushing Yuuri up with him. “Oh,” he says, staring open-mouthed at Yuuri. 

When Victor’s hips are resting back on the bed, Yuuri lifts himself up on his knees, Victor’s dick withdrawing from him right until it’s the tip inside him, then he carefully lowers himself back down. “Fuck,” Yuuri gasps as he angles it just right so the soft head of Victor’s penis drags past his prostate. 

“Just like that,” Victor responds, twisting his wrists in the sash so he can grasp the sheets under him. 

Yuuri brushes a thumb past one of his nipples again just as he lifts off Victor’s dick, so Victor’s hips snap up, driving his cock deep into him. He lowers himself with Victor, then slowly lifts himself off Victor’s dick, right to the tip again, but instead of slowly lowering himself back down onto it, he drops down, quickly filling himself. 

Victor groans in pleasure. “Oh, fuck, Yuuri.” He rises again slowly, drawing out the hot feeling of Victor’s dick inside him, then slams his ass down to fuck himself hard. 

He sets a rhythm of slow up and hard down. Victor is appreciative too, meeting Yuuri’s downward movements with a little lift of his hips. 

“God, this is the best view,” Victor comments as Yuuri fucks himself on Victor. “I get to see not only my dick entering you, but your hard cock too.” He licks his lips and Yuuri tweaks one of his own nipples as a tease. “Can’t you touch yourself? I want to see that,” Victor asks. 

Yuuri complies, wrapping his right hand around his hard, flushed penis and matching his strokes with the pace he’s using to fuck himself on Victor’s dick. It doesn’t take long before he’s spilling over Victor’s stomach with a whine. 

He stays hard as Victor does a bit of work to fuck him through his orgasm. With the first orgasm out of the way, he increases the pace, leaning forward to rest his chest on Victor’s so their lips can reach. He works his hips to quickly fuck himself. 

He can feel Victor’s arousal, how he’s holding back, probably trying to stop himself from just flipping Yuuri over and fucking him at an even more brutal pace. 

Yuuri kisses down Victor’s neck so he can suck a couple bruises on the pale flesh of his collarbones and chest. He ends up tucking his head under Victor’s chin and using all his concentration to keep a quick and steady pace. It’s an odd angle, but it feels so good inside of him. His cum from his previous orgasm eases the friction of his dick on Victor’s stomach. 

He’s so on edge that his second orgasm is not far away. But as he cums, he can feel through the bond that Victor’s just as close as him, and with a bright, hot surge, Victor’s orgasm flows through him too not moments later. He’s pretty sure his vision whites out for a moment as his body receives double the pleasure. 

When he’s finally able to focus again, Victor looks a little startled too, as if the orgasm was a surprise. He unties the silk himself, hands immediately going to Yuuri’s body, rubbing soothing circles on his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, is that going to be enough orgasms for you?” He asks with a bit of concern. 

Yuuri’s practically drooling on Victor’s chest, completely relaxed from the intensity of the orgasm. He’s still a little hazy, but he should be fine for a while before his next heat hits. He probably needs an extra orgasm to really get over this wave of his heat, but he doesn't want to move. 

“I’m fine,” he manages to say. 

Victor hesitates, and Yuuri can feel that little bit of nervousness across the bond again. “There’s something I’d like to do,” Victor says. 

Yuuri blinks up at him. 

“You can say no if you want,” Victor tells him, his eyebrows conveying the concern Yuuri feels from him. Victor breathes deeply, as if he’s gathering his courage.

“What is it?” Yuuri asks, shifting so he can look up at Victor, his dick slipping out with a small gush of cum. 

“Well, first, if it’s okay with you, I’d really like it if you’d let me take care of you. Clean you up a little, maybe get you some food or juice, and then…” this is where he pauses again. “Maybe you could… pick out a toy. One of your favourites. Just… just in case.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Моя звезда (Moya zvezda) - My star
> 
> It may seem strange that Yuuri’s struggling with understanding what Victor feels, but the bond Yuuri has is actually pretty weak, so there’s nothing too intense coming across. It’s mostly because he’s still so deep in his heat. It’ll be interesting to see how that changes as the intensity of his heat changes in the next couple days. 
> 
> Also, just a note, Yuuri keeps referencing ‘affection’ as an emotion. While most of us would usually call it ‘love’, I think because of his Japanese heritage, he’s hesitant to use such a loaded term. And he still doesn't even fully understand what ‘love’ is - it’s hard for him to distinguish between platonic love, familial love and romantic love. Probably because he hasn’t experienced the latter before. 
> 
> Yet again, please come visit on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com) because I post updates and teasers. There’s also a little poll for what side-stories you might want to see, so make sure you let me know what your favourite options are.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, back on a schedule. Hopefully I can stick to my once-a-week Thursday (thirstday) updates. I hope you'll keep coming back each week for them! 
> 
> Thank you everyone for your lovely comments last chapter. I hope you like this one even more. It’s still snowy here, so I wrote this chapter to help keep me warm.

Yuuri blinks up at Victor. He wants Yuuri to pick out a toy? That definitely wasn’t something he was expecting. To be fair to Victor though, he’s lasted much longer than any of his other partners. The intensity of the first day’s heat almost always necessitates a little something extra to help Yuuri through. 

“Okay,” he says, because it seems like Victor is nervous about asking. Yuuri doesn’t mind, really, but he’s willing to play at Victor’s game a little. 

Victor nods briefly, then disappears to the bathroom when Yuuri turns over and reaches for his toy box that’s been waiting on the floor. He’s still feeling hazier than he probably should, so it’s a bit of a fumble to actually open the box. 

He also feels pretty drained, so he just lays on his front, sifting through the contents of the box from his spot on the mattress. It’s not like Yuuri doesn’t already have an idea of what he might want, but he figures the least he can do (to play Victor’s game and make sure he feels like an adequate lover) is to ask Victor to help him choose. 

What he’s not expecting is for Victor to come back from the bathroom holding a bowl. He places it carefully next to the bed, the warm water inside swirling - steam gently lifting from it. He also takes a moment to grab a couple of the juice bottles and a protein bar. 

“I know you won’t want to eat anything,” Victor says as he sits down on the mattress by Yuuri’s knees, “the things I read told me that Omegas usually aren’t able to stomach food for the first couple days of their heat, but I was hoping you might be able to handle some juice?” He offers one of the bottles. “It’ll help keep your blood sugar up so you won’t get tired so easily.”

Yuuri does take the offered juice, even if he doesn’t quite feel like drinking it. But Victor’s right - he does have a problem with over-exerting himself. He passed out twice with Mark (and once with Phichit) after he hadn’t eaten for a couple days and had spent hours ignoring anything but his own pleasure. Katashi had done the same as Victor - plied him with drinks (chocolate milk, actually) to help get a bit of sustenance into him. 

So he opens the juice and does his best to drink. Victor looks pleased too, which helps. But he doesn’t touch his own drink. Instead, he dips a clean washcloth into the bowl of water beside the bed, swirling it around until it’s soaked. 

“Can I?” Victor asks, looking at Yuuri hopefully. 

“I can do it,” Yuuri says, trying to sit up a little. 

“No,” he responds quickly, pressing a large, but gentle hand against Yuuri’s shoulder so he’ll lie back down. Yuuri complies easily. “Just let me take care of you, please.” Victor asks of him. “It would make the Alpha part of me very happy.”

Yuuri takes another sip of his drink before setting it aside and relaxing into the mattress, nodding in assent to Victor. 

He carefully wrings out the washcloth, letting the excess water drip back into the bowl without making a mess. “I won’t do all of you,” he says quietly. Then, without pause, he gently presses the warm cloth to Yuuri’s stomach, wiping up the sticky mess that’s left there. 

They’re both quiet as Victor pays close attention to him, washing the cloth out with every few strokes so it never feels cold on his skin. He’s so tender - slowly and carefully cleaning Yuuri’s stomach, chest, and groin. 

Yuuri basks in the care, a tightness growing in his chest as he watches how meticulous Victor is being, how carefully he is as he essentially gives Yuuri a sponge bath. It’s such a sweet gesture, and appreciated too because there’s no way that Yuuri’s able to shower right now and he is feeling pretty sticky from everything they’ve got up to today. 

As Victor’s gently dabbing the warm cloth across his skin, Yuuri can feel something across the bond. Something he hasn’t felt at all before. It’s not something he can easily label. And it’s just barely there, the feeling almost  _ small _ in nature. But what’s there is intense. 

It feels like a combination between devotion and affection. Reverence, even. Yuuri can’t name it, but it makes tears gather at the corners of his eyes and he blinks to rid himself of them. It’s such a profound thing to feel across the bond, and it’s for him. Victor feels it for him. 

Victor presses a kiss right overtop of his bellybutton as the emotion from the bond crests. Yuuri’s hands shake. 

He grips the sheets so he doesn’t just reach out and touch Victor, demand that he explain exactly what he’s feeling right now. He doesn’t want to ruin the moment. Victor looks up at him and gives him a dazzling smile as he presses another kiss to one of Yuuri’s ribs. Then another, and another, up towards his nipple. 

He gives him a little wink as he kisses just beside the nipple, then across Yuuri’s chest, missing the other one too. That nameless feeling has subsided, but it’s left a warm glow behind, almost the same as the warmth Yuuri feels from Victor’s kisses. 

Victor is mumbling small things in Russian against Yuuri’s skin with each kiss. He almost forgets about the washcloth, covering Yuuri’s torso with more kisses than anything else. 

“Victor…” Yuuri chokes out. He can’t explain why he’s feeling so overwhelmed by kisses and the nameless feeling, but it’s almost too much. He never imagined that he’d ever feel this much adoration from someone. He never thought he’d have someone appreciate him the way Victor seems to. He tries to tell himself that it’s all just because of his heat - that Victor’s acting like this, kissing him tenderly, because it’s the right thing to do in the situation. 

But it’s not. It’s so much more than just being a ‘good heat partner’. There are actual emotions behind Victor’s actions and Yuuri realises Phichit was right - he hadn’t been considering what Victor might actually be feeling through all of this. He’d only been assuming the worst. And now, now that he can feel even just the smallest part of Victor’s emotions, he knows he’s misjudged the situation. 

Victor has his own reasons for being here. Not just in bed with him, not just for his heat, but Japan in general. There’s something about Yuuri’s that’s caught the man’s attention and held it. If Yuuri knew what it was, he’d make sure to continue doing it because he would greedily take this, whatever Victor’s giving him right now, for the rest of his life. 

“Mmmn, sorry,” Victor apologises lightly as he presses a final kiss to Yuuri’s hip, finally taking the now-cool cloth and washing it out again. 

Yuuri takes in a shaky breath, watching the way Victor’s eyes sparkle as he warms the cloth, returning to slow passes over the tops of Yuuri’s thighs. 

If Victor isn’t careful, Yuuri’s going to fall for him. Harder than he ever has. Because, yes, he’d admired him, loved him as a skater, and idol. But now, knowing the  _ real _ Victor, having him so close and… domestic. Well, Yuuri’s only more enamoured. He already doesn’t want to let go of him. He would keep him here, away from the rest of the world, if Victor would let him. 

If Victor keeps acting like this - as if he’s just as infatuated with Yuuri as Yuuri is of him - then he’s sure when the two of them part it’s going to lead to heartbreak. Painful, cry into your pillow for months, can’t stop thinking about ‘what ifs’ for years, hurts your chest when they’re mentioned, heartbreak. 

Yuuri tries to calm his racing heart because even just imagining how deeply he might feel in a couple months is making his anxiety act up. He doesn’t want to feel like this, not when their relationship isn’t going to last. But he also knows that if he doesn’t throw himself into this - whatever they’re sharing now - with everything he has, he’ll always regret it. 

He already has too many regrets. He doesn’t want Victor to be another. So, he closes his eyes, tells himself that his heat is like an island in their relationship:  a completely isolated incident where everything has a tinge of surreal. He can worry about the implications later on when neither of their judgements are clouded by hormones. 

If Victor still feels this way, still acts this way after his heat is finished, then Yuuri can panic. For now, he tells himself just to enjoy it. Moments like these will bring him comfort when things change afterwards. 

He focuses on each sweep of the cloth over his body, each warm press against his skin. He tries to ignore the emotions that are seeping across the bond - feel them, but not name them. It will lead to less confusion and disappointment if he doesn’t try to analyse them. 

When Victor’s cleaned the most important parts and the water in the bowl has cooled off, he gently turns Yuuri over onto his stomach and uses a more damp cloth this time to swipe down Yuuri’s back, letting the moisture help wick away some of the heat he’s feeling. 

He kisses the back of Yuuri’s neck once before he gathers up the bowl and cloth. “Was that okay?” he asks in a low voice. 

“Yes,” Yuuri agrees, humming into a pillow. He feels relaxed and quite content. 

Victor’s hand strokes down his back, resting on his ass for a moment, before he taps it lightly and then takes the bowl back to the bathroom. He can hear as Victor rinses it out before he puts it back under the sink. The shower turns on briefly and Yuuri suspects Victor’s taking a moment to clean himself too, but more efficiently.

He doesn’t have a towel when he comes back into the bedroom, but his skin in wet - little beads of water slowly trailing down his pale body. Yuuri watches as he grabs his drink and snack, settling on the edge of the mattress up closer to Yuuri’s head. 

“Did you pick something out?” Victor asks after he’s finished half of his protein bar. He nudges Yuuri’s drink closer to him in suggestion as well. 

“Mmnn,” he responds noncommittally. Instead he reaches out to trace the path of a waterdrop from Victor’s chest all the way down to his hip, unable to help himself. 

Victor smiles at him and pushes some of Yuuri’s hair out of his face so they can see each other better. “I’m not saying we’ll have to use it right away,” Victor tells him. “But, god, Yuuri, you’re insatiable. And if tomorrow is the same as this, then I probably will need help.”

“I did warn you,” Yuuri tells him, keeping the eye contact instead of shying away.

“You did,” Victor nods, “and I should have listened.” 

“It… doesn’t mean anything. I told you, I’ve never had a heat where my partners didn’t have to rely on something besides themselves.” Yuuri reminds him. 

“I know, but I still-” Victor cuts himself off, then shakes his head in a gesture that usually means there’s something he doesn’t actually want to say out loud. “It doesn’t matter,” he says, then reaches over to pull Yuuri’s toy box closer to them. “What were you thinking?”

Yuuri doesn’t press it, just shifts a little so he can see the box too. “Well, it’ll have to be a dildo or something, right?”

“Yeah,” Victor hums in acknowledgement. 

“I was thinking maybe one of the new ones.” There’s a reason he ordered things, and it would be a shame if he wasn’t able to try things out this week. 

“Well, there’s a couple options, then,” Victor says, hands brushing over the glass dildo for a second. 

Yuuri can’t bring himself to tell Victor he’s already used it. He should have saved it for the heat week instead so they could have enjoyed it together for the first time. Instead, he reaches in, pulling a couple things out so he can get to the larger items at the bottom. “I was thinking…” he says as he pulls out the knotting dildo in suggestion. 

“Hhmm,” Victor says, taking it from him. He turns it over in his hands a little. “Yeah, sure. This is good.” He agrees. He runs his finger up and down the side of the dildo, looking over at Yuuri. “I did mean to ask you earlier if you enjoyed my knot.”

It takes Yuuri half a second to remember it because that first session seems so far away. “Oh, it was good.” He responds with as much enthusiasm as he can muster right now. He’s still feeling drained and a little hazy. “I like knots,” Yuuri tells him. It was what he was craving most leading up to his heat. It’s the reason he’d wanted to try an Alpha.

“Was it what you’d hoped for?” Victor asks, placing the dildo back into the box and taking another bite of his bar. 

“Yeah,” Yuuri says with a smile. “Better than,” he adds. It really was - it was better than any of the artificial knots he’s had. He finds there’s always something more, something better, to having the real thing instead of silicone. 

“Mnnn, I’m glad,” Victor nods. “It’s been a while since I’ve done that myself, so it was… good. For me too.”

“You didn’t mind?” Yuuri asks.

“What? No. Of course I didn’t mind. Yuuri. I liked it. It’s not something I get to do often, and I’m glad I could do it with you.” Victor tells him quickly. He seems genuine. 

“Would you want to do it again?” Yuuri asks. Because it’s one thing to do it once, to enjoy it once every few years. It’s another thing to be that intimate with someone multiple times. 

“Yes. I’d love to,” Victor tells him. He leans down and presses a kiss to Yuuri’s temple. “I’ll be happy with as many times as you want.”

Yuuri looks up at him. The way he phrased it makes it sound as if Yuuri’s the one doing Victor the favour - letting Victor knot him. Almost like he’d be happy to share that with Yuuri as many times as Yuuri’s willing. With a bit of confidence, Yuuri tests it. “Your knot did feel really good in me. It was big - kept me so full. And the way it felt when you came in me like that?” Yuuri licks his lips.

A flush grows quickly across Victor’s cheeks. “Ah.” He manages to get out. 

Oh. So it is like that. Victor enjoys it just as much as Yuuri maybe. “It was my first real Alpha knot,” Yuuri reminds him. 

“I know,” Victor replies, eyes searching Yuuri’s. 

“It was so much better than I imagined. Everything else pales in comparison with you,” Yuuri tries again. Victor bites his bottom lip, but doesn’t take the bait. “I don’t know if any other Alpha could make me feel like that either.”

That’s what does it. Victor surges forward, capturing Yuuri’s lips in a hard kiss. He can even feel what is probably jealousy across the bond. “Anytime you want it, all you have to do is ask,” Victor pants against Yuuri’s mouth when they break the kiss. “ _ Anytime. _ ” 

“Well, I’ll definitely want to try again - learn to get used to it maybe.” Yuuri purrs seductively. 

Victor closes his eyes in response. Breathing hard against Yuuri’s mouth. “I’ll make sure you dream only about my knot,” Victor says. “I’ll ruin you for any other Alpha.”

“Please,” Yuuri says and kisses Victor again. If he’s being honest, Victor has already ruined him for any other person, regardless of their genders. Nothing will ever compare to having the man he’s been lusting after for over a decade in bed with him like this. Nothing will ever make him feel quite the same way as when Victor turns all his attention on him. 

He’s selfish. He wants Victor to look only at him. Not just on the ice, but here as well. And just like Victor, he wants to ruin him, not only for any other Omega, but any other person. He knows he’s not capable of doing that right now, not when his heat haze is still so strong, but he has plans. There are things he wants to try later on this week. Things he’s hoping Victor will remember for the rest of his life. Things that, no matter who he’s with, he’ll always think ‘Yuuri did it better’. 

“Mmnn,” Victor moans, pulling back from the kiss with a bit of reluctance. “You’ll be the death of me, Yuuri,” he says, eyes low and full of lust. Yuuri can feel the arousal over the bond too and he revels in being the one to make Victor feel like that. 

“Then I hope it’s a good death,” Yuuri teases, slowly bringing their lips together again. 

Victor then wastes no time in straddling Yuuri, slowly lowering himself so their dicks brush against each other. “I’d offer to knot you again now,” Victor says, pressing their foreheads together so they can both look down so where their erections are sliding against each other. “But we probably shouldn’t do it again until the hardest part of your heat has passed.”

Yuuri groans, but he does agree. With how close his heat rounds have been, they don’t want to be caught stuck together when Yuuri gets the need to be fucked. “Give me a day,” Yuuri says. “Two, tops.” The way Victor’s bond has helped, he’s feeling pretty good about how quickly he might get rid of the haze.  

“For now, though,” Victor says as he rolls his hips, giving them both pleasure, “let’s get you dirty again.”

* * *

 

The rounds blur together after that. Although Victor’s bond has helped, Yuuri’s still insatiable and the heat haze doesn’t lift that easily. He’s pretty sure that they get both get through three rounds, probably with a half hour spacing between them, before Victor’s starts to show signs of fatigue. 

He starts napping between rounds, Yuuri sometimes joining him, sometimes just laying next to him and watching the way his eyes flutter in his sleep. 

The sun finally sets and Yuuri tries his best to wake Victor up as little as possible; waiting until the last moment - until he can’t help himself any longer before he crawls back into Victor’s lap and kisses him awake. 

The seventh round in, Victor can’t get hard again. Yuuri’s surprised he’s lasted almost a full day, so it doesn't bother him at all. Victor looks a little embarrassed, but Yuuri just drags Victor’s hand down and practically fucks himself on Victor’s fingers. It’s enough to satisfy him, and Victor looks proud he’s managed to last almost 24hrs without any toys. 

Yuuri’s glad to indulge him a little - play to his ego a bit by making sure the first day is nothing but Victor. But when the next heat round rolls in, so close after the last one, he knows they can’t put it off any longer. 

Victor looks a little helpless when Yuuri starts rutting against his hip. So he manages to ask Victor to choose something from the toy box. He shakes his head ‘no’ when Victor immediately reaches for the knotting dildo Yuuri chose earlier. He’d rather Victor choose something himself for this first time. 

He finally pulls out one of Yuuri’s small vibrators. It’s not as big as Victor is, but that might be good for Yuuri right now since he’s starting to feel a bit of the burn, despite all the endorphins rushing through his system. 

“Just…” Victor hands over vibrator, “give me a few minutes. You’re just amazing like, this, you really are,” he praises. “But just let me watch you right now.”

And even though Yuuri does all the work, pushing the vibrator inside of him at a pace that feels best, Victor is right there with him, running his hands all over Yuuri’s body. Touching every inch of him he can, jerking Yuuri off when he gets close. Continuing to praise him with some soft phrases: ‘you’re beautiful’, ‘so good’, ‘perfect’, ‘let me see you lose control’, ‘just gorgeous’, ‘cum for me’. 

Yuuri doesn’t mind at all, not when Victor is still attentive, even if he’s not fucking him. He cums on command each time, happy that he can feel the warmth of pride and arousal through the bond every time he does. 

When the sun begins to rise the next day, after neither of them have really had any decent sleep, and they’re both exhausted, Victor finally breaks. 

He manages to stand on wobbly legs, and after he freshens up in the bathroom, goes to his own toy box that’s sitting on Yuuri’s desk and rummages through it, finding his metal cockring. 

“Okay,” he says, securing it around the base of his penis, “I’m hoping this will help.”

Yuuri hopes so too because just watching the ring glint around his flaccid dick is making Yuuri’s stomach clench in arousal. It looks so good on him. He’s almost surprised it isn’t gold-coloured to match the blades of his skates. 

But that probably wasn’t the best thing to think about because now Yuuri’s imagining Victor wearing a cock ring while performing. He imagines Victor wearing it - that only Yuuri knows he is - before taking to the ice. 

Yuuri squirms on the mattress, eyes fixed on Victor’s dick, watching as it fills and hardens under his gaze. 

“Yuuri,” Victor says in a rough voice. “Do you like it? You look like you want to devour my dick.” He gives himself a couple strokes to bring himself to almost full-hardness. 

Yuuri licks his lips in response because, yes, he absolutely wants to get his mouth on Victor. He’s wanted it for ages now. He tries not to remember his tried-and-true fantasy he used regularly in Detroit. Victor and him meeting at a competition. Victor being so attracted to him that he lets Yuuri get on his knees in the dressing room and suck him off. Sometimes before his skate, sometimes afterwards. But always Yuuri on his knees, giving Victor the best blowjob of his life. (Usually Victor either reciprocates or jerks him off.)

Yuuri already knows that he wants to spend hours sucking Victor’s dick. He’s fantasized about it enough. And he’s thought about offering it so many times too. He will do it this week, once he’s able to devote enough time to giving Victor what will probably be a half-hour blowjob. 

“I want to,” Yuuri admits. 

“Want to?” Victor asks, confused for a second. 

“Suck you off,” Yuuri clarifies, he gets on his knees and reaches for Victor’s hips. Just a taste now won’t hurt, will it?

Victor curses as Yuuri pulls him forward. “Ah, Yuuri, slow down,” he says, stopping Yuuri from getting any closer with a firm hand on his shoulder. “I don’t think that’s a priority now, is it? Let’s make sure you’re satisfied, and then you can decide afterwards if you still want to.”

“Later, I will,” Yuuri promises Victor, still staring at his cock. That’s enough to get Victor fully hard, the tip flushed a deep red, his balls drawn up near the shaft by the ring, the silver of it shining as his dick twitches under Yuuri’s scrutiny. 

“On your knees,” Victor asks, and Yuuri turns around quickly, lowering his chest to the sheets but keeping his ass high in the air. He can hear Victor moan in appreciation from behind him, arousal spiking through the bond as well. 

The mattress dips as Victor kneels close behind him. His hands rub his asscheeks, pulling them apart to get a better look. 

“Wow,” Victor breathes. “I’ve always thought you were beautiful. Imagined what you might look like here too,” he gently touches a finger to Yuuri’s puckered hole, “but it’s so much better than what I thought.”

He pushes a finger inside Yuuri, and it’s a little rough, which is why Yuuri almost misses the meaning behind the words. He’d imagined what Yuuri would look like naked? How long had he been thinking about Yuuri’s ass? How long had he been imagining this specific, intimate part of Yuuri? Because the way he’s said it sounds like it’s been for longer than just the past few weeks. 

“Mnn, you’re a little dry,” Victor notes, distracting Yuuri. He grabs the lube from the top of the mattress. “You’re not keeping hydrated enough,” he chastises. But he squirts some lube on his own dick, and then dribbles some down the cleft of Yuuri’s ass too. 

Yuuri arches his back as the cold lube hits the part of him that’s hottest. It slides past his hole and Victor has to gather it with a few fingers and push it back up and inside him. Yuuri groans and clenches around the intrusion. He wants more than just a few fingers. 

Victor presses a kiss to his left asscheek, nipping with his teeth a little. “I’ll get my mouth on you soon, I swear,” he promises as he curls his fingers inside Yuuri, finding his prostate with relative ease. 

“Just your dick is fine now,” Yuuri responds, even though he’d love to feel Victor’s tongue instead of his fingers. As soon as his heat subsides, he’ll even ask for it if he has to. Not everyone enjoys the musky-sweet taste of Omega slick, but Victor doesn’t seem to mind. And if Victor is willing, Yuuri wants it. His hole is sensitive and he’s sure that Victor’s strong tongue will bring him to the edge easily. 

“Only if you promise to drink something afterwards,” Victor says, withdrawing his fingers and lining the tip of his cock up with Yuuri’s hole. 

“Drink? Victor. Now isn’t the time. Just fuck me,” Yuuri says with exasperation. 

He doesn’t waste time, shoving himself in all the way to the hilt, balls resting tight up against Yuuri’s perineum. The smooth metal of the cock ring just barely touching the edge of his stretched hole. He grinds into Yuuri, pressing as deep as he can and Yuuri collapses forward. 

Victor’s arm wraps around his waist, keeping Yuuri’s hips level with his own. “Just hold on,” Victor says as he grips Yuuri tightly, giving small thrusts into him, “I expect you to have at least three orgasms. Anything less and I’ll be disappointed in myself,” he says, then pulls almost all the way out and fucks back into him hard. 

Three. Yuuri can do three. He pushes back onto Victor’s dick with the next trust, timing it just right. 

“But you are going to have something to drink after this,” Victor reprimands. It’s probably meant to be caring, but the demand just makes Yuuri more aroused. 

“Well,” he retorts, “if you’d just let me suck your dick like I wanted, then I would have gotten a  _ little _ bit of fluids in me.”

“Oh my god,” Victor moans, bending over Yuuri and resting his head between Yuuri’s shoulder blades. “You’re insatiable.”

The absurdity of it - that they’re fucking while arguing about drinking cum makes him chuckle. 

“Don’t laugh,” Victor tells him. “I’m serious. You need to keep hydrated.” But Yuuri can feel the smile against his back, feel the happiness across the bond. If it’s for Victor, Yuuri can do anything. 

It doesn’t take long for Victor to pull two orgasms out of Yuuri - the cockring doing wonders to keep him hard without putting him over the edge. Yuuri appreciates it and hopes that Victor might be willing to use it again during the week. He’d really like give him a blowjob with it on - see if he can deepthroat him far enough for his lips to touch the metal. 

With unerring precision, Victor fucks him so perfectly that he catches Yuuri’s prostate with every thrust. Yuuri’s too tired to try to help with the rhythm at all, using all his strength just to keep his ass up in the air. Victor’s hand works tirelessly on his still-hard cock, bringing him to the edge of his third orgasm. 

And Yuuri has a realization. After their continuous sessions through the night, the ones this morning, and probably helped by the bond Victor’s given him, he feels like there’s actually not much heat haze left. Even now he’s pretty clear-headed and the round isn’t even over yet. He’s almost to full awareness. 

He cums. Victor fucks him through it. And yes, maybe just a couple more rounds and he won’t be completely overtaken with the need to be fucked. This is the soonest his heat haze has ever broken. Victor’s done a resounding job of helping him through it. 

He doesn’t know what he’s going to ask for first. Maybe he’ll ask for more knotting. Maybe he’ll ask for a blowjob. Maybe even rimming. There are so many options to choose from. He’s excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we’re finally starting Day 2. I can’t believe these guys talk so much. God. More fucking, please. You can talk about your feelings later. Just enjoy the sex. 
> 
> I’m really excited about Yuuri’s heat haze being so close to over. It means that we can start getting into the really fun stuff. So, I’ll just say again - if there’s any kinks you’re dying to see in here, please let me know. 
> 
> I’ve also got a few things about YCPfE I’m hoping to post on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com) this week, so keep an eye out for those.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m honestly so amazed (and happy) that I managed to get this chapter finished. Thank you everyone for your positive comments last chapter, they’ve made this stressful week so much better for me. 
> 
> (I swear they’ll get around to talking one of these days...)

Yuuri lies there with his head pillowed on Victor’s chest, stomach pressed against his side. Victor’s arm is around him, holding him close while his thumb brushes the small of his back lazily. Victor’s not asleep, but he’s not quite awake either. 

There’re a lot of things Yuuri would like to ask Victor - things they should probably talk about, but he doesn’t want to ruin the moment. He’s idly drawing circles on Victor’s ribs, calmly taking in the comfort Victor’s exuding. Now that he’s dozing and Yuuri’s satisfied, he basks in the warm heat of the bond Victor gave him. 

His neck is a little tender from being bruised, but it’s not something he hasn’t dealt with before. His thighs are a little sore too from all the physical work he’s been doing for the past 24 hours, but it’s insignificant to what the return has been. He can hardly believe that it’s barely been a day. 

The sex so far, from what he can remember of it, has been fantastic. Even if a hired heat partner would probably have been able to keep up with him a little better, what Victor lacks in stamina, he makes up for in sheer enthusiasm. And, while Yuuri has been adamant about bonding, he doubts he’d want to do it with anyone he doesn’t already know well. 

He has half a mind to find his cellphone and text Phichit. Right now, when he’s doubting everything he’s feeling across the bond, when he’s confused as to what their relationship might be, or the potential it might have, he needs someone to talk it through with. Victor probably wouldn’t even notice if he started texting right now. 

But his heat haze still hasn’t completely lifted and he’s not sure if anything he types will be coherent enough to not make Phichit worry. So he just snuggles further into Victor’s bare chest and tries to put it out of his mind. They can talk about it later when they’re both in the right frame of mind.

“Mmn, Yuuri?” Victor mumbles, turning his head so his nose is pressed into Yuuri’s hair. 

“Yeah?” He asks quietly. 

Victor makes a content humming sound again. “Just making sure you’re still here,” he slurs and then shuffles, turning towards him. He presses their chests together and wraps his arms around him, pulling them tightly together. 

Yuuri adjusts so he can actually breath, but returns the embrace easily, cheek still pressed to Victor’s chest, Victor’s face is tucked in the top of his head. It’s warm and comforting. Yuuri tells himself he can’t get used to it, enjoy it now while he has it, yes, but he can’t expect it to continue after his heat. 

When he’s imagined his future, he’s never imagined someone else with him. It’s always just been him. Maybe he and Mari would run the onsen together. Maybe he would help Minako teach dance. But his idea of ‘home’, even with a poodle or two, has always been empty. 

He’s never been good with receiving affection from people. Even with his family he’s not used to physical affection. It had even taken him over a year to feel comfortable sitting next to Phichit in their dorm with their arms touching. 

He’d just always assumed he would spend his future alone. And he was fine with that. He had his few friends and family and that’s all he needed. Living where he only needs to take care of himself - where he only has to worry about his own needs and anxiety - is a less stressful future. He’s never imagined a partner to come home to. He’s never indulged in fantasies of making his own family. He’s been satisfied to imagine a single-bedroom home, refusing to let himself entertain anything more complicated.

Victor is the exception to everything.

He allows Victor to touch him: their interactions are easy, comfortable. Yuuri doesn’t mind when Victor hugs him, doesn’t care if he presses his hand to Yuuri’s back when they’re in close quarters. He even craves his touch, if he’s honest. He wants to hold Victor’s hand when walking, wants to curl up with him in the evenings. He even initiates contact if he’s presented the opportunity. A brief touch here or there. A gentle shoulder bump at dinner. 

But more importantly, Yuuri imagines a future with Victor. He tries not to pander to the fantasy, but on more than one occasion, usually right before he falls asleep, he imagines living with Victor. The two of them sharing a bed, waking up in the morning and making breakfast together, spending weekends grocery shopping, a nice little wedding ceremony, growing old together. 

Of course he’d fantasized about dating Victor throughout the years, but it’s never been as in-depth. Now, it’s not only sexual fantasies, but it’s about the long-term. It’s been hard to deal with the change in outlook. He’s still not sure what it all means in relation to his feelings for Victor because he’s never felt like this before. All he knows is it’s too much to burden Victor with. 

“You’re thinking too much,” Victor says quietly. “You keep tensing up.”

“I’m just getting horny again,” Yuuri lies. Well, it’s not really a lie because he could go for another round. But it’s certainly not the reason he’s on edge.

“Okay,” Victor goes with it, “what can I do to help with that, then?”

“I’d assumed you’d fuck me,” Yuuri chuckles a little, pushing any thoughts of the future from his mind. 

There’s a little bubble of happiness across the bond as Victor presses a kiss to Yuuri’s head. “Of course. I’m just asking what position you’d prefer.”

In response Yuuri kisses Victor’s chest. “Well, my legs are pretty tired,” Yuuri starts. 

“On your back then,” Victor says immediately before rolling to push Yuuri back into the bed. They finally pull apart, but only enough for them to line up better, Victor straddling Yuuri’s hips. 

With Victor looking down at him, Yuuri does his best to give him a smouldering look. “Think you’ll be alright this time?” He taunts.

“I’ve lasted this long, haven’t I?” Victor raises one eyebrow. 

“You have,” Yuuri praises. “Far better than I expected.”

Victor leans down and nips lightly at the bruised spot on Yuuri’s neck. “I have a reputation to uphold,” he mutters. He then kisses Yuuri’s collarbone and then slowly downwards, making sure to pay extra attention to his nipples. 

Yuuri tries his best not to squirm too much because although his nipples are sensitive, it does feel good. He grips Victor’s biceps in an effort to keep himself grounded. 

As he’s keeping Yuuri occupied, Victor smoothly moves them so he’s once again spreading Yuuri’s legs open. He scrapes his teeth past Yuuri’s left nipple as he snakes a hand down to his ass, quickly dipping two fingers inside him. 

“Mmnn,” Victor hums, blinking up at Yuuri. “You’re dripping wet again.”

Yuuri’s about to make a comment about keeping hydrated again, but then Victor brings his hand up to his mouth, fingers wet with Yuuri’s slick, and without any warning, slips them into his mouth to clean off the fluids. 

Yuuri stares wide-eyed and so  _ very _ aroused as Victor licks his lips after he withdraws his fingers. 

“If you weren’t so desperate to be fucked still, I’d ask for a better taste,” Victor says with a wink. 

Yuuri wants to tell him that this round’s heat haze still hasn’t fully kicked in (although it’s getting there the more aroused he gets) and Victor’s welcome to take his time if he’s that interested, but then Victor’s rubbing his erection along the cleft of Yuuri’s ass up towards his dick 

The tip of his cock brushes past his perineum and nudges at the base of balls bringing Yuuri back to that desperate need to have Victor inside of him. He thrusts against that sensitive part of Yuuri a couple more times, eyes alight with mischievousness. 

“You’ve been getting a bit of a workout with all this sex,” Victor starts, “but you haven’t done any stretching. Should I help you with that?”

Yuuri can only nod - unable to find any words since Victor took a taste of his slick. 

Once given permission, Victor grabs Yuuri’s thighs, lifting and pushing so Yuuri’s almost bent in half - his knees coming up to rest close to his shoulders, ass presented to Victor in full view. 

“Just lovely,” Victor says once, eyes flickering from Yuuri’s face to his thighs to his ass, then back up to his face. 

Yuuri points his toes and does actually feel the stretch of his tired muscles. 

“I’ve thought about your flexibility before,” Victor tells him as he releases one of Yuuri’s legs to help line himself up with his hole. 

“Oh?” Yuuri manages to say, but it sounds more like a gasp than anything else. Victor pushes his cock into him in one smooth stroke. 

“Even at your age, you’re still able to do the splits,” Victor continues. “ Lean and limber. So easily manipulated into any position I want.” He bears down so Yuuri bends even further, his knees almost at his ears. “Think of all the positions that are possible.” 

He pushes just that little bit further so they can kiss. It’s sloppy and quick. And then Victor’s pistoning his hips to fuck Yuuri. He slowly sits back onto his knees, hands still pressing firmly into the underside of Yuuri’s thighs to help stabilize himself. 

His thrusts are quick and shallow, barely half of his length penetrating Yuuri before it’s pulled back out. It’s the perfect angle to hit his prostate though, and he starts to see flashes of light every time it’s hit with the hot head of Victor’s dick.  

The way he’s bent in half also makes the squeeze tighter. Victor is average when it comes to girth, but Yuuri feels like he’s squeezing around him. 

“So good,” Victor pants as he keeps pace. 

Yuuri moans in agreement. He grabs hold of his own cock and pumps in short strokes along with the rhythmic penetration Victor is giving him. It doesn’t take him long before he’s cumming in thick white splashes over his chest. 

When Yuuri comes back to his senses, his dick still hard, he meets Victor’s eyes. Victor is staring down at him with a look of amazement, his mouth parted in awe. 

The look makes Yuuri shake with an aftershock of his orgasm. Victor goes wide-eyed, body stilling, mouth still open, and lips bright pink. He can feel the hot splash of Victor’s orgasm inside him as he curls in and down towards Yuuri’s lips again - stretching him again so they can kiss as Victor rides out his orgasm. 

“I wasn’t expecting that,” Victor says after a moment as he carefully pulls out of Yuuri. 

Yuuri feels his hole throb with the loss, a slow dribble of cum falling out of him. 

“Too good?” Yuuri asks, letting Victor carefully lower his legs back down. There’s a dull throb in his thighs where Victor’s hands had been gripping. 

“A little,” Victor says sheepishly. “It was just too close to a masturbatory fantasy I’ve had before,” he admits. 

“A… fantasy?” Yuuri asks tentatively. 

Victor nods, his hand reaching for Yuuri’s still-erect penis. Yuuri lets him take over and give him a slow handjob. “I just told you I’ve thought about how flexible you are before. I-” Victor pauses, a deeper flush than what the orgasm gave him colouring his cheeks. “Several times I’ve imagined you folded up like that for me to fuck.”

“You’ve imagined…?” Yuuri trails off, getting distracted by the slight twist of Victor’s wrist on each stroke of his erection. 

“Masturbated. Yes.” Victor says bluntly. 

“Oh.” Yuuri says. “Oh.”

“It’s hard to hold back when your jerk-off fantasies become reality,” Victor tells him with a small smile. 

Yuuri should clarify - make sure that Victor is really admitting to jerking off to thoughts of Yuuri because, okay, that might be something important to talk about. But instead he ends up blurting out, “I’ve masturbated to you too.”

Victor gives him a blinding smile and tightens his grip slightly on Yuuri’s dick. “Good to know the feelings mutual, then.” 

“And not just recently,” Yuuri can’t stop himself from saying. “Back before we met too. I had posters. And. You. You’re just so beautiful. I can’t tell you how many times I-” he cuts himself off before things can get even more embarrassing. 

But Victor doesn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, Yuuri can feel a bit of pride across the bond. “Ah, Yuuri. You spoil me with such kind words. It’s good to know I’ve been helping you with this-” he nods to where he’s still jerking Yuuri off, “-for years.”

“Years.” Yuuri confirms. His heart’s beating rapidly, at first scared that his admission might be edging on the ‘too much information’ side of things, but now it’s because Victor actually seems flattered that Yuuri’s been jerking off to him since he hit puberty. 

“You’ll have to tell me all the things you imagined me doing,” Victor tells him. “Because I want to give those to you. It’s quite something to get what you’ve been dreaming about.”

Yuuri feels a surge of affection, but he’s not sure if it’s just him or something from across the bond too. “Well, you getting me off like this is one of them,” Yuuri admits honestly.

“Then I’ll have to do my best to live up to what my fantasy-self did,” Victor nods. “Should I use more wrist? Should I go faster? You just need to tell me what you want, Yuuri.”

Yuuri stops himself from saying ‘everything’ because even if talking about his teenage masturbatory habits haven’t scared Victor away, that one word might. “Anything,” he says instead because it’s safer, but holds a similar sentiment. 

Victor shakes his head with a smile. “That’s not helpful Yuuri. Be explicit. Tell me what you want.”

“A blowjob. No, wait. Rimming.” Yuuri blames his heat for destroying the filter he usually has. “Anything with your mouth, really.”

Victor licks his lips, the corner of them twitching up into a smirk. “Oh? You like my mouth?”

“It’s hard not to,” Yuuri says, cursing himself silently that Victor’s hand on his dick seems to be drawing out not only his arousal, but also his words. “You have really nice lips. You touch them all the time too.” 

Victor really does touch his mouth more than any normal person should. If he’s thinking about something, it’s a tap of his finger. If he’s frustrated it’s either his teeth or a fingernail. He dares anyone who spends a decent amount of time with Victor to not know the intricacies of his lips. He draws enough attention to them that even the casual observer probably knows the exact way his mouth curves into that heart-shaped smile. 

“Hmm,” Victor says, purposefully pressing a finger to his lips. “So, something with my mouth. A kiss, then?”

“Yes,” Yuuri says, happy to have that. 

“No, no,” Victor shakes his head, changing the way he’s stroking Yuuri’s cock. “I want you to dream bigger. Ask for it. I’ll give you a blowjob if that’s what you want.”

Yuuri tries to swallow, but there’s no spit in his mouth. All this time he’d been dreaming about getting his mouth on Victor’s dick that he hadn’t really spent the time thinking about it the other way. 

“I’m just getting overly sensitive,” Victor admits. “I’ve had a lot of orgasms in a row, so my tip is a little sensitive.” He carefully runs a hand over his flaccid penis. “I need just a little bit of a break, but I want to keep getting you off.”

Yuuri wants to say ‘blowjob’ because how fantastic would it be to have those lips wrapped around him? But instead he follows Victor’s suggestion and asks for what he’s been craving. “Rimming?”

Victor’s eyes go dark with arousal. “I thought you’d never ask,” he says. “I’ve been dropping hints all over the place. I thought I was being too obvious. As you’ve just pointed out, I have a bit of an oral fixation, so let me indulge in it.”

“Oh.” Yuuri says in response. What else is there to say. Victor being excited about eating him out? Definitely one of those things he’d masturbated to. “Yeah, do it.”

Victor stops stroking Yuuri so he can move further down his body. He presses a small kiss to the tip of Yuuri’s dick, as if promising to give him a blowjob later on before he settles on the mattress, his feet hanging off the edge, his face tucked between Yuuri’s thighs. He presses a kiss to the inside of each leg, hands stroking from Yuuri’s pelvic bone down the tops of his legs and back up. 

With soft hands, Victor arranges Yuuri so his legs are over his shoulders and his ass is lifted in the air a little. He wonders if he should have done more personal grooming before his heat. He’s not a very hairy man to begin with, so his legs are pretty smooth, but he’d just done a close trim of all his public hair. He wonders if he should have shaved, like Victor, so doing this would be more appealing. 

But Victor doesn’t seem to care - he has a hungry look in his eye as he reaches with both hands and uses his thumbs to pull Yuuri’s cheeks apart. 

It would be easier, for sure, if Yuuri turned over and let Victor rim him that way, but he isn’t going to suggest it if Victor’s willing to let him watch. 

Victor leans in, his nose touching Yuuri’s balls, and kisses the soft spot between them and his hole. 

Any other time outside of his heat he would have refused to do this without a thorough cleaning, but his slick has done that job for him. Victor doesn’t seem to have any qualms about the taste of his slick either, even though he knows that not everyone likes the taste. It’s sweet and musky, a strange combination. And yes, of course he knows what it tastes like - he’s sure every Omega, accidentally or not, has tasted their own slick. 

Victor presses lingering kisses from his perineum right down to his hole, sucking a little with each kiss. He mutters something, probably in Russian, his lips barely touching Yuuri’s skin, his warm breath puffing across his entrance. Yuuri can see his eyes flutter shut. 

Then his tongue darts out to taste. Yuuri can’t see it, but he can feel the warmth and wet as Victor licks across his hole. Victor’s the one who moans lewdly. He immediately shoves his face further in and starts licking; long swipes of his tongue, swirling licks concentrated over his hole, but never pushing in. 

It causes a warm flush to spread up Yuuri’s body as his arousal hits its peak. His cock bobs in lust - twitching up off his stomach with every lick Victor gives. And then, suddenly, Victor’s tongue is inside of him. 

Yuuri arches of the bed in surprise and pleasure. Victor just follows dutifully, slowly fucking Yuuri with his tongue, making obscene noises as he goes. He barely pauses to breathe either, just spreads Yuuri’s cheeks further apart and licks with enthusiasm. 

Suddenly, Yuuri’s struck with the memory of how Victor had just cum inside him not ten minutes earlier. Even if most has dribbled out, Victor’s practically licking their joined fluids out of him. He gasps, bringing a hand up to stifle the sound. 

His cock is leaking against his stomach, the handjob while talking, and now this, have put him right at the edge of orgasm. But it’s still not enough. It feels amazing, it really does, but it’s not enough stimulation. (Thankfully it’s still satisfying to his heat needs because at least he’s being filled.)

“More,” Yuuri demands, one hand tangling in Victor’s hair, pulling it back so he can see his face better. He worries that maybe he’s being too rough on Victor, the weight of his legs must be hurting his shoulders, and it is an awkward angle. 

But Victor just moans at the contact, a blissful look on his face (at least, the part that Yuuri can see). He gently tugs on Victor’s hair to pull him even closer. Victor’s grip tightens on his ass, so he tries a firmer tug. He practically mewls, voice muffled by Yuuri’s skin, his tongue working to dip as far as it can into his hole. 

Victor pulls back for a second, face flushed red, lips glistening wet. “You taste amazing,” he pants. “Even better than I imagined.” He licks his lips, sending Yuuri a heated look. “I like doing this anyway,” he tells Yuuri, “but being able to taste you? Something so… primal, so  _ omega _ in nature. Fuck, it’s what I’ve wanted since you told me you were going to have a heat.”

Yuuri bites his bottom lip, wondering if it would be strange to ask for a kiss right now. Victor’s lips look so plush from their activity. “I taste good?” is all he can ask. He does also want to ask if Victor had thought about rimming him before he found out his secondary gender, but he’d rather Victor give him a quick answer and put his tongue back where it was. 

“So good, Yuuri,” he says with such sincerity that Yuuri doesn’t need the bond to know it’s true. 

Yuuri touches his own dick, finding the need to orgasm coming back to him. Even if he’s more lucid during rounds, it doesn’t mean that his heat needs don’t need to be met. 

“Do you want me to?” Victor asks, looking at his dick. 

“No, I can do it,” Yuuri tells him. “If you can just keep… your tongue…” He can’t seem to say the word ‘rimming’. Even now, when he’s aroused and Victor’s seen every part of him that’s more lewd than a simple word, he still finds himself embarrassed. 

“Okay. Yeah. Keep pulling my hair, then, tell me how much you want me, where you want me. I’m going to make you cum from just my tongue.”

Yuuri nods, pushing his own hair away from his face with a shaking hand. That’s all Victor needs before he dives back down, tongue immediately pushing inside of him smoothly. There’s probably just as much slick as spit down there now. Yuuri likes the idea that Victor’s replacing the wet he’s taking with his own. 

He can’t help from gasping out in pleasure as Victor flicks his tongue against the rim of muscles. Victor circles the edge, dipping in after each full lick, and then repeating. 

Yuuri weaves his fingers back into Victor’s hair again, just as asked, pulling him even closer. He shoves his tongue inside, mimicking what he’d do if he were using his dick. Yuuri tugs on his hair to push him back a little, and Victor teases the outside again. 

Taking his cue, Yuuri moves Victor to where he wants, directing him to give Yuuri exactly what he wants. It’s not long before his whole body is shaking. He’s so close to an orgasm, and he’s so sensitive down where Victor is that he can feel each miniscule movement Victor makes with his tongue. 

When he finally can’t take it anymore, he wraps a hand around his hard dick and pumps. He’s loath to finish this so quickly because he’d love it if Victor were down there for hours, but his heat haze is only going to return if he waits too long to orgasm. 

Victor pushes his tongue deep inside him, and then, with his lips pressed tightly against his rim, he sucks hard. Yuuri sees white as he cums, waves of heat radiating from where Victor’s tongue is inside of him, fucking him through the orgasm, to the tips of his fingers that are still buried in Victor’s hair. 

“Oh, fuck,” he gasps as he finally starts coming down. Victor doesn’t stop licking him until he’s finished. 

He finally comes out from between his thighs, wiping his mouth and chin with the back of his hand. There’s still some wet higher up on his cheekbone so Yuuri finally takes his hand out of Victor’s hair so he can reach out to wipe it away. 

“You were so wet by the end of it,” Victor tells him. “It was amazing to feel you clench around my tongue like that. I knew you’d like it.”

“Mnnn,” Yuuri hums, feeling almost weightless. The orgasm had been a full-bodied one, surprising since he usually doesn’t have ones that intense unless he’s being fucked. “I thought I liked rimming the first time someone did it for me, but it was nothing compared to that.”

Victor grins, carefully extracting himself from between Yuuri’s legs and coming up the bed to lie next to him. “I told you I had a talented tongue,” he says with confidence. 

“Might need to know what else you can do with it,” Yuuri says, leaning over to kiss him. Victor eagerly responds, his lips still wet and warm. Yuuri breaks the kiss when Victor grinds his erection against Yuuri’s hip. 

“Ah, Yuuri. Look what you’ve done to me.” Victor says, looking down at his hard dick pressing against Yuuri’s side. 

“I thought you said you needed some recovery time,” Yuuri jokes a little. 

Victor kisses his cheek. “It was just too good. You were so sexy like that, I couldn’t help but be aroused.”

“Well, if you want to fuck me, I’m certainly wet enough,” Yuuri grins.

Victor grins back, “You certainly are.” He grinds his erection into Yuuri’s hip again. “It seems like a waste if I don’t use it,” he says with lilting tone. 

Yuuri turns on his side, unsure if he can do much more than lay there and take what Victor wants right now. But Victor doesn’t seem to mind because he’s almost immediately slipping into him. Yuuri’s so wet and stretched that it takes no effort. 

Victor slowly rocks into him, each inch of his cock feeling marvelous against Yuuri’s sensitive hole. He lays kisses down the back of Yuuri’s neck, his hands guiding Yuuri’s hips back into his. It’s slow and luxurious, and Yuuri’s so glad he’s had the earlier orgasms so he’s able to enjoy this without the pressing need to cum. 

And then, as Victor’s leisurely fucking into him, his hand moves slowly over the curve of Yuuri’s ass and down to where they’re joined. 

One of his fingers gently touches where he’s stretched around Victor’s dick. It’s a firm press, and Yuuri holds his breath as his hole begins to give way to the intrusion. 

Victor kisses his neck right near his ear, then asks, “How much do you think you can handle?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little shorter than usual. Their next round might take a while (and might be a bit emotional), so I didn’t want to dive into it quite yet if it was going to end up shortened. 
> 
> I’m excited to finally be able to have Yuuri start feeling more detailed things. I hope we’ll get to hear him be very explicit about what he’s feeling. I want everyone to know how dirty he can get when describing what Victor’s doing to him. 
> 
> For the next chapter, I’ll put it to you guys: would you rather have rough up-against-the-wall sex, or a blowjob? 
> 
> (Also, if you follow me on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com), you might get teasers for the next chapter.)


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I really have to apologise for how long of a hiatus I’ve taken. (There’s a million-and-one excuses, but the general gist is: I was in hospital for a while, then my father went into hospital, so I had to move him halfway across the country to live with me, then a family member was murdered, and I almost had to adopt a 4-year-old.) Everything is (mostly) better now, so I’m hoping, barring other big life shit happening, I can get back on a semi-regular schedule. 
> 
> Hopefully I didn’t lose too many readers, but I plan to see this out to the end. I promise I won’t abandon it.  
> Thank you so much to everyone who’s been so supportive the past while. I love you guys so much. I'm so excited to be back.
> 
> (And btw, there was a clear winner of the wall vs bj poll from last chapter. You’re welcome in advance.)

“One finger shouldn’t be a problem,” Victor says, then nips at Yuuri’s neck behind his ear, his finger pressing against Yuuri’s hole alongside his dick.

“Victor?” Yuuri asks, tensing a little under the intrusion.

“Just relax. I promise I’ll make you feel good,” Victor practically purrs. He does remove the finger though, using his hand to stroke down Yuuri’s side to make him relax.

“I trust, you, I do,” Yuuri says, turning his face into the pillow and thrusting back against Victor. “But do you really think I’ll be able to take much more than your dick?”

Victor hums, splaying one hand out on Yuuri’s chest to pull him back so they are spooned together. “Absolutely. You can take my knot, so an extra finger or two won’t be too much.”

Yuuri takes a breath. Victor seems to take his silence as hesitance.

“I just want to see you filled,” Victor tells him in a low voice. “I want to make you feel amazing. Satiate you.”

Yuuri feels a rush of warmth at the words, but he still makes a face. “It’s hard to ‘satiate’ me during my heat.”

“I’m trying, though,” Victor reminds him.

Yuuri turns his head so he can catch a glimpse of Victor. “You are,” he agrees. “And I can’t complain about anything so far.”

Victor chuckles and presses a light kiss to his cheekbone. “Good. Now, unless you’re opposed to it, try to relax.”

“Okay,” Yuuri says, and does his best to relax into Victor’s hold. It helps that Victor starts whispering sweet nothing’s against his neck.

Victor’s finger goes right back against the spot where they’re joined. It’s just a firm press at first, but after Yuuri takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly to relax, the finger slips right in. He does his best to not tense as he stretches. It’s that same _full_ feeling he had when Victor knotted him back during their first round.

Because he’s been feeling pretty relaxed from the rimming beforehand, he wasn’t expecting this to help satisfy his heat any more, but as soon as he feels that full tug on his insides, his body melts. This is apparently what he’s been craving since he first went into heat.

“Victor,” he moans, pressing back into his partner. He squeezes his hole around Victor’s finger to show just how much he’s appreciating Victor’s ambition in getting Yuuri to do this. His chin drops to his chest and he curls in on himself, pressing just his ass towards Victor.

“Mmn,” Victor makes a noise and hooks his finger a little, putting pressure against a terrific spot inside him. Yuuri reaches around behind him to grasp Victor’s hip and pull him even closer. The feeling of Victor’s dick sliding next to his finger is a sensation Yuuri has never experienced before. And fuck, is it hot.

“More,” he demands. He can hear Victor chuckle a little, like he knew he’d be able to make Yuuri this needy when he first suggested it. But there are no complaints, just the gentle pressure of another finger slipping in next to the other one.

He does squirms as his body registers that he’s even more stretched than before, and he rolls his hips in a small circle so he can feel all the details of Victor’s long fingers next to his hot, hard length. In response, Victor slowly pushes into him with both his fingers and dick. It’s a burning hot feeling as he’s stretched, but so fulfilling that he lets out a long moan.

Victor moves to wrap his body around Yuuri’s frame, the one hand that’s under Yuuri coming up to pressing against his pelvis and push them all the way together. The only space between their bodies is where Victor pulls back a little to fuck him. All his slick and Victor’s spit is what’s making the smooth glide possible. It’s a complete connection between them - his and Victor’s fluids mixing - their skin blurring the boundaries of where they’re actually separate.

Yuuri knows he’s making obscene noises, but they’re muted to him by the whooshing sound of blood rushing past his ears as his entire focus is solely on where they’re joined.

Victor scrapes his teeth past Yuuri’s neck, next to the bond bruise. He hooks his fingers against Yuuri’s sensitive inside walls as he slowly fucks him.

“It’s a good thing,” Victor says against his skin, “that we bonded earlier because I think I’d find it far too difficult to hold back right now.” He punctuates the statement with a light nip to Yuuri’s bonding spot. “You smell too good, and you feel so amazing it’s hard to hold back.”

“Don’t,” Yuuri gasps. He doesn’t want Victor to hold back at all. At this point there’s almost nothing that Yuuri would say no to. And some sex, stuffed with a dick and extra fingers, sounds perfect. He should never doubt what Victor requests. He knows what Yuuri wants more than Yuuri does. Of course, his body has a one-track mind right now - be filled, but the details of how that happens could be easily left up to Victor.

And Victor runs with it. He slams his hips against Yuuri’s ass, pushing his dick in as far as it will go. On an out-stroke he slowly presses a third finger in next to the others before shoving his dick back in slowly, but deeply.

“Harder,” Yuuri requests, pulling in gasping breaths.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Victor mutters, but that doesn’t seems to stop him as he quickly pulls out and fucks back into him just as quickly. There’s no hesitation in the movement of his hips. He quickly sets a steady, but quick rhythm, filling Yuuri so thoroughly, fully, and fast that Yuuri has to press the flat of his palm against the mattress so he doesn’t slide forward. He presses back against Victor, trying to meet his thrusts.

He loses track of time, lost in the sensations of Victor fucking into him, and the warm excitement building in his pelvis as he gets closer and closer to an orgasm.

Victor is panting hot against his neck, losing himself to the sensations, just as Yuuri is. Yuuri still wants more though, more stretch than what Victor’s fingers are offering. He’s torn between asking for something from his toy box to fill him next to Victor’s own dick and just asking for as much of Victor’s hand as he can get in. He just likes the idea of having more parts of Victor inside him.

Maybe, if they ever did this again, he could ask Victor to make a silicone replica of his dick to use as a secondary intrusion. Because the more of Victor, the better. And right now it seems like irreverence to ask for something that isn’t part of him to be in Yuuri next to his dick.

But still, he either needs to be knotted or needs more stretch than Victor’s fingers are offering. He could handle much more, he’s sure of it. His body is so relaxed and he’s been stretched by all of their activities it would be no problem to fill him up further.

“Could you-” He gasps out, and then his words are replaced with a long moan as Victor curls his fingers just right.

“Mmn?” Victor asks, one foot on the mattress between Yuuri’s legs to give him more leverage.

“More?” He manages to get out.

“More?” Victor says breathlessly. “You can handle more?”

Yuuri nods before he finds his voice again. “Yes. Maybe… maybe a dildo as well?” He asks.

Victor stills, his hand on Yuuri’s abdomen tensing. Yuuri can hear him swearing behind him. “Oh, fuck, fuck, Yuuri-” but apparently just the thought of adding even more next to his own dick pushes Victor over the edge.

His dick pulses hard and hot, splashing cum deep into Yuuri. His fingers curl and spasm with his orgasm as well, pressing firmly against Yuuri’s prostate. And the feeling of Victor’s full-bodied orgasm and his cum gushing out of Yuuri’s hole where Victor’s fingers leave space pushes him into an orgasm as well.

They lay there, basking in the glow, before Victor carefully removes his fingers with a gush a fluid that’s a mix of both Yuuri’s slick and his own semen.

“I’ve told you before, you can’t just say things like that when I’m so close.” Victor says with a lilt in his voice, like he’s teasing Yuuri. “You’re too hot for your own good. And you don’t even know it.”

Yuuri smiles, eyes closed, hand pressed to his fast-beating heart. “I’m not going to apologise,” he says, and in return he receives a light smack on his ass as Victor pulls out.

After being so full, he now feels very empty. And a little cold too without Victor’s body heat all around him. Victor slowly pulls his other hand out from under Yuuri, rolling over to the edge of the mattress. Yuuri turns slightly to watch as Victor sits up and scrubs his clean hand over his face.

There’s a smirk on the edge of his lips. “I still have some of your slick on my face,” he comments, rubbing at a spot beside his mouth.

“I think it’s on more than just your face,” Yuuri says slowly, looking at how Victor’s other hand is glistening with his clear lubricative fluid.

Victor glances over at him with that small smirk and drags his hand across his chest, wiping the wet off in stripes across his pecs and abs.

Yuuri’s nostrils flare at the smell of Victor being completely covered with his scent. He has to reach out and tug at Victor’s wrist to bring him close to for kiss. It’s just a soft press of lips, but it brings their combined scents closer to him and that’s all he wants right now.

When Victor finally pulls back he grimaces a little and touches his chest. “Okay, so not a great idea,” he says. Yuuri can guess that the slick he wiped across his chest has now dried and is pulling at the few hairs that are there. “You don’t mind if I take a quick shower, do you?” Victor asks.

Yuuri shakes his head. He knows he can’t ask for them both to stay dirty for the whole week because that’s edging on unhygienic. Besides, Victor smelling less like the both of them might give him a bit of a break from the possessive feelings that are roiling just below the surface.

Plus, just putting a bit of distance between them right now will help Yuuri stop himself from just pushing Victor down and going for another round. He can hold off for a little - let his partner recover a bit of his stamina.

“Go ahead,” he says, and Victor nods and stands up to stretch.

“Did you want to join me?” He asks, looking down at Yuuri, his flaccid dick hanging right in Yuuri’s line of sight. He can’t look away from it.

Yuuri bites his bottom lip, telling himself that neither of them are quite up to another round so quickly. “No, go ahead. I’ll have one later. When I’m sure I’ll be able to stand up for a few minutes.”

“Okay,” Victor says with a soft smile.

He calmly listens for a few minutes as Victor putters around in the bathroom brushing his teeth and starting the shower. Then, carefully, Yuuri shuffles to he can find his phone on the floor by the top of the mattress. He hopes it will provide enough of a distraction that he won’t end up joining Victor in the shower. He has a few notifications from the past day: a text from Mari pretty much asking if he’s started his heat, and then a second one from Phichit telling him to enjoy himself.

He thinks about responding to Mari, but by now she’ll have figured out that Yuuri’s heat has started and probably won’t appreciate a response reminding her of it. He’s more interested in the message from Phichit. He glances towards the bathroom door for a second before he decides to respond.

_‘Thanks. It’s been great so far. Better start than any of the other partners I’ve had. No offence.’_  He types out and sends before he thinks better of it.

The response is almost immediate. _‘Yeah? That good?’_

Yuuri chuckles a little at his friend’s eagerness. _‘Yeah. Really fucking amazing sex.’_

_‘Wow. You’re swearing. It must be good.’_

Yuuri rolls his eyes and is about to put his phone away when a series of quick messages come in.

_‘Are you going to keep doing it?’_ ,     _‘Like, after your heat?’_ , _‘Have you talked about it?’_ ,   _‘Having a real, full relationship?’_

Yuuri stares at the messages, watching as the ‘typing’ bubble appears, and fearing Phichit is going to go on another rant, Yuuri quickly answers. _‘No.’_

_‘No?’_ Phichit responds immediately. _‘Why not?’_

Yuuri doesn’t know if he should respond to the ‘have they talked’ or the ‘are they going to have a relationship’ questions. Neither have pleasing answers and it’s a bit much to think about right now in the short time that Victor’s in the shower.

_‘We haven’t really talked about it. There hasn’t been too much time.’_

He receives a couple blush-worthy emoji’s in response.

_‘Besides,’_ he types, _‘now’s not really the time to ask about that. I’m afraid that any kind of rejection from him will make my heat worse.’_

_‘It’s that intense?’_ Phichit responds.

_‘Yeah. Victor’s been great at handling it, but it’s pretty intense this time.’_ There’s no point in lying to his friend.

_‘Well, make sure you stay hydrated.’_ It’s only a couple seconds before Phichit’s next message comes in and Yuuri has to delete the response he was working on. _‘But don’t put off talking just because you’re in heat. It could make everything better too if you weren’t so worried about the ‘afterwards’ part of it.’_

Phichit’s advice is true. But when he weighs the pros and cons, and with how well Victor has been performing, he’s still sure the better idea is to just leave that conversation to a few days before his heat is over. Just in case it goes so wrong that Victor ends up leaving. _‘Yeah.’_ He responds anyway because there’s no point in arguing about it.

_‘He hasn’t given any hints at all that might tell you he’s interested?’_ Phichit asks.

_‘No.’_ Yuuri responds, but then, when Phichit doesn’t start typing, Yuuri knows he needs to elaborate. _‘No hints at all. He even gave me a bond bite and I still can’t tell.’_

_‘YOU BONDED?!!!!!!!!!!’_ Is Phichit’s response. _‘OMG. TELL ME EVERYTHING.’_

_‘No.’_ Yuuri responds because there are a few boundaries he’s not willing to cross just yet. They’ll probably end up talking about it in-depth after his heat is over, but for now there’s too much to tell by just text. But he knows Phichit will bother him about it if he doesn’t give him at least a little something. _‘It’s good. Really good. Makes the sex better for sure. And helps with my heat haze.’_

_‘Two-way bond?’_ Phichit asks. Yuuri knows that if Phichit could, they would have had a two-way bond during his last heat.

_‘No. He didn’t want it.’_ He replies.

_‘He’s an idiot then.’_ He knows Phichit means it too. It’s not that his friend hates being a Beta, because there are certainly a lot of perks that come with being a neutral secondary-sex, but Yuuri knows that Phichit would have liked to experience what a bond between them was like.

_‘Or, if he knows how I feel, he’s smart for refusing it.’_ Yuuri types.

He gets an eye-roll emoji in response, then, _‘but you can’t feel anything from his bond?’_

Yuuri sighs. If it was any clearer to him then he might have actually followed Phichit’s advice and talked to Victor. He’s just a coward when it comes to talking about his feelings. He’s not afraid to admit that. Any progress Victor and he have made emotionally has almost all been through Victor’s prompting. _‘He’s just as hard to read through his bond as he is in person.’_

_‘How about you try to explain the bond to me, then? How it’s different from mine. Maybe I can help.’_ Phichit offers in the nosy-but-ever-so-kind way Yuuri’s used to.

But this is just something he’d rather keep to himself. _‘No. Thanks.’_

But Phichit doesn’t take the hint. _‘You don’t think there’s anything there? Have you asked him if he’s open to something after?’_

There are just too many nuances to those questions that Yuuri doesn’t think his heat-addled mind will be able to convey properly, so he settles with, _‘Just… no.’_

Yuuri can practically hear the frustration from Phichit in the next text he receives. _‘No. Well, that’s a shit answer, Yuuri. You haven’t talked, have you? Even after I told you to.’_

_‘He doesn’t want a relationship.’_ Yuuri responds without thinking. There’s a long pause before Phichit’s back to typing.

_‘Just fuck buddies then?’_

Yuuri blinks at the message. It’s not something he’s really considered fully, but it is an option. Although, not one he’s entirely happy with. _‘I don’t think I could do that.’_ He responds truthfully. He’s waiting for Phichit’s response when the bathroom door opens and Victor enters the room with a towel slung around his neck.

They both freeze as Victor’s eyes catch sight of the phone in Yuuri’s hands. Yuuri immediately slams it face down on the floor. He knows the action makes him look guiltier than he is, but he doesn’t really want Victor to see their conversation.

“Yuuri?” Victor asks, his soft smile has been replaced with cold, hard eyes.

“Ah, just, um, checking my email,” Yuuri lies less-than artfully. It’s obvious that Victor doesn’t buy it for a second. “And Mari. She was wondering if my heat’s started.”

Victor frowns at that. He knows just as well as Yuuri that there’s no reason to respond to Mari telling her he’s having sex. Victor’s lived with them long enough to not be fooled by that excuse. “Why are you lying?” He asks quietly.

“I’m not-” Yuuri starts, face flushing hot. “Mari really did text-”

Victor cuts him off. “Is it Shoji?” He asks.

The mention of the previously potential heat-partner throws Yuuri for a loop. “What?” He asks, incredulous. Shoji’s the furthest person from his mind. Apparently though, Victor still isn’t over him.

“Were you. Texting. Shoji.” Victor asks in a hard voice. He pulls the towel from around his shoulders and throws it across the room. He’s completely naked, and Yuuri can’t help but glance downwards. “Yuuri!” Victor barks.

“N-No.” Yuuri stutters out.

“Not convincing.” Victor says, stepping forwards onto the mattress.

The way the bed dips under Victor spurs Yuuri into action. Even if it isn’t Shoji, he doesn’t want Victor to see the conversation he and Phichit were having. Finding out how Yuuri feels, from a text no less, might ruin the week, and the only thing he can think of to stop Victor from grabbing his phone, is distracting him. In less than a second he’s on his feet and pressing his lips against Victor’s in a bruising kiss.

Victor grabs hard at his shoulders, but doesn’t push him away. He does look a little less angry when Yuuri finally pulls away.

“It isn’t Shoji,” Yuuri tells him. But apparently, bringing him up again is the last thing Victor wants and Yuuri finds himself almost immediately pressed chest-first against the wall next to his desk.

“You chose me. Not him.” Victor practically growls against his neck. He rubs his face against Yuuri’s bond bite, his short stubble rough against Yuuri’s hot skin. It’s so clearly Alpha posturing that, even without the added pressure against the bond mark, it would make Yuuri’s knees weak.

His fingers clench uselessly against the smooth wall as he leans back into Victor, baring his neck even more. Yuuri wants more. The heat-part of him, the side that wants to be mated and bonded, urges him to take it just a little further and make Victor show how invested he is in Yuuri. If Yuuri can’t ask Victor how he feels with words, like Phichit has suggested, maybe he can ask him through his instincts. Just bypass all the double-sided conversations and get to the root of it.

“He was a good option, though.” Yuuri says tentatively. Victor makes a deep-throated sound behind him and presses his whole body against Yuuri’s so he’s pinned up against the wall.

“Better than me?” Victor all-but growls.

It takes everything in Yuuri to ignore his Omega instincts to capitulate. Instead he bites his bottom lip and presses his forehead against the wall, staying silent.

Victor takes the bait. “Anything he has, I can give you. Anything you wanted from him, I’ll do.”

“Show me,” Yuuri taunts.

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Victor’s hands are on his ass, his thumbs hooking underneath in the sensitive part and pulling upwards. He slips on his feet from the force of it and has to press himself harder against the wall so he doesn’t fall over.

Victor uses Yuuri’s imbalance to his advantage and ruts against the cleft of Yuuri’s ass with his growing erection. The way he’s spreading Yuuri’s cheeks allows for a surprisingly deep penetration along the more sensitive valley. It’s a little rough because Victor’s clean from the shower and no longer coated in his slick. But the tug of skin-on-skin is only hotter somehow and Yuuri finds his dick is standing at full attention again, leaking precum from the tip.

“Don’t you dare text him again,” Victor tells him as he presses the head of his cock against Yuuri’s slick entrance. “Delete his number. Don’t think of anyone but me.”

“Yes,” Yuuri agrees and pushes back against Victor’s penis, letting it slowly slide into him. Even though his slick eases the way, it’s still a rough push in. But through the bond he can tell that Victor’s preening with pride. That, in some way, Victor believes he’s managed to control Yuuri, despite Yuuri having never had eyes for anyone else from the beginning.

And Yuuri knows, without a doubt, that Victor is proprietorial of him, and there’s no question as to whether Victor is attracted to him either. For the briefest of moments, Yuuri sees what Phichit’s been telling him. He understands that whatever Victor feels for him can’t just be left alone at the end of the week. But all of those thoughts leave him when Victor’s dick twitches inside him and his heat haze returns.

Victor holds back for one moment - just long enough to ask if Yuuri is okay with this, and when he receives a happy moan of ‘yes’, he fucks as hard as he can into Yuuri - long, deep, punishing strokes at shake him to the core. That make him feel like his hands will be bruised from where they’re pressed against the wall. He can hardly breathe because Victor keeps fucking the air from his lungs. The loud sound of skin slapping on skin fills the room. Victor’s even fucking him so hard that with every thrust in his balls tap against Yuuri’s perineum.

Just when Yuuri thinks he’s going to have to tell Victor to stop so he can catch his breath, Victor pulls out and manhandles him so he’s facing the other way, his back firm against the wall. Victor’s eyes are bright and steely - firmly making eye contact. It’s another show of dominance.

Without wasting another moment, Victor grabs him by the hips and hoists him up. Yuuri’s arms and legs immediately wrap around Victor in a desperate attempt to keep from falling over and most of his weight is put onto his back against the wall. With unerring precision, Victor’s dick finds his hole again and he’s back to fucking him roughly.

“Oh, god,” Yuuri moans, tossing his head back, where it hits the wall. He doesn’t feel any pain from it, though. Just the pleasure from Victor’s unrelenting advancement. There’s a thin sheen of sweat on Victor’s brow from all the work he’s putting in - ruining the purpose of his shower completely - but he doesn’t slow down. Even when Yuuri clings to his shoulders and then goes limp in his grasp.

He just hefts Yuuri up by the ass and keeps going. “This week you’re mine. No one else’s.” Victor makes sure to impress upon him. “There’s no one else that can handle you like I can. I’ve been training you for months - I know all the physical limits of your body. I’m the only one that can press your boundaries.”

And he’s right. Yuuri’s right in between exhaustion and absolute pleasure.

“I know how far you can stretch. I know how hard to work you before you can’t go any further. Don’t assume that just because I don’t have an online profile that I won’t be able to pleasure you the same.”

“Never doubted you,” Yuuri tells him, even if he might have in the past. He doesn’t doubt him now.

“Good.” Victor nods. He stills on an in-stroke, pushed all the way into Yuuri. “Now. Cum.” He demands.

Yuuri cums for him. He tries to cry out in pleasure, but all he manages is a gasp of air and a whimper as he splashes a meager amount of semen across his stomach. When his dick has finished jerking with orgasm, Victor pulls out of him and finally sets him back down. But his legs just aren’t working and he almost immediately collapses to the floor - Victor’s strong arms slowing his fall.

He leans back against the wall and looks up at the older man. Victor looks back, his dick still engorged and stiff. He casually rests one hand on the wall and leans over Yuuri. “Close your eyes,” he says.

Yuuri lets his eyes flutter as closed as he can get them while still being able to see the way Victor jerks his own cock. It takes only a few seconds before Victor is cumming in short stripes across his chest - his own way of marking Yuuri as ‘his’, even if they’re locked in the room alone together. The ejactulate is warm against his skin, but cools quickly.

As soon as Victor has come down from his orgasm high, he’s kneeling in front of Yuuri. “Oh good. I didn’t get any on your face,” he says as he brushes Yuuri’s hair back. “Didn’t want to take any chances,” he explains.

“It’s all good,” Yuuri says, reaching up to the congealing cum and spreading the largest part across his chest.

Victor pauses and Yuuri can see the way he’s clenching his teeth. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Yuuri shakes his head ‘no’. It was rough, yes, but exactly what he wanted. His heat hormones will keep him from feeling too much later anyway.

Victor’s eyes finally soften and he looks away for a moment, licking his lips. “Let’s get you back to the bed,” he suggests, moving to help.

Yuuri waves him away, content to help himself up with the edge of his desk, letting his coltish legs get used to his weight before he stumbles back over to the mattress.

“I’m sorry I-” Victor cuts himself off, still kneeling on the floor.

“No,” Yuuri stops him from apologising. “It was good. Really good.”

Victor looks at him for a moment, as if he’s determining how truthful Yuuri is being, before nodding and finally moving to join Yuuri on the bed. All the anger and possessiveness from earlier, all the traits that Yuuri was so keen to see as evidence for Victor’s feelings, are completely gone.

But even now, Yuuri understands how horrible his plan was. Even if Victor’s primal side wants him - is possessive of him - that isn’t indicative of how a level-headed Victor feels. Wanting Yuuri in his heat isn’t transferable to his everyday life. A week of passion, a week of concupiscence, does not require a lifetime of devotion. And while Yuuri had been happy to have just that one week of passion, he knows that now he’d give up all the sex, do his heat alone, if it meant he got to spend the rest of his life by Victor’s side, just skating together.

They lay there quietly for a few minutes, both lost in thought.

And then, after everything, Yuuri can’t bring himself to stop Victor when he reaches out and takes Yuuri’s phone off the floor.

“I was texting Phichit,” Yuuri finally admits even though it’s probably obvious now that Victor’s looking at the messages on his lock screen.

“I can see that,” Victor says softly, eyes skimming the easily-readable English messages. He makes a quiet sigh that Yuuri only notices because he’s watching him closely, then hands Yuuri’s phone over to him.

There’s something in the way Victor’s shoulders slump that suggests to Yuuri his partner is showing defeat. But he can’t feel anything but static across the bond. It’s starting to wear off already. The short bonding period isn’t unusual because they’re a new pair, but it certainly isn’t a convenient time for it to happen.

“Delete Shoji’s number,” Victor requests.

“I wasn’t texting him, though,” Yuuri says, a little confused.

“Delete it anyway,” Victor says. There’s no firm, commanding tone in his voice. It’s closer to pleading, if Yuuri’s reading it correctly.

Yuuri really want to ask why Victor’s brought Shoji up now and why he’s so adamant that Yuuri delete his number because it seems like something more than possessive Alpha tendencies. He’s about to push the question down because he doesn’t want to start a fight, but then he thinks about it.

It wouldn’t be weird if Victor had been angry with him texting Phichit. They have a history. But Shoji? Yuuri hasn’t mentioned, or thought about him really, for ages. But apparently Victor’s been harbouring a secret loathing for the man that’s manifesting itself in the middle of their heat week. He has to know what it is. What is it that’s making Victor so worried about Shoji when Yuuri’s made it clear there’s nothing between them?

“Why?” He asks.

“Because you chose me. Isn’t that reason enough?” Victor says, propping himself up against the wall under the window.

“No,” Yuuri shakes his head and tries to clarify, “why did you think it was Shoji?”

Victor looks like he’s biting his cheek and he can’t meet Yuuri’s eyes.

“Victor?” Yuuri asks again, clenching his phone tightly with one hand.

“He sent you a text.” Victor says, staring at a spot on the wall over Yuuri’s shoulder. “I couldn’t really read it because it was in Japanese, but he sent you something yesterday.”

Yuuri stares at Victor, surprised at his answer.

“I wasn’t trying to look at your messages,” Victor continues. “Your phone was just lying there. I wasn’t trying to invade your privacy,” he tries to explain.

Yuuri figures that any notion of ‘privacy’ is almost completely gone between them now.

Victor quickly glances at Yuuri’s face, then goes back to looking somewhere over his shoulder. “I don’t have your passcode, so I just cleared it from the lock screen,” he tells him. “I just-” he stops with a frown.

“Just what?” Yuuri has to ask. This honesty is not something he was expecting.

“Just,” Victor pauses, his eyebrows furrowed, a look Yuuri hasn’t seen on him often, “last time he interrupted with a text-” he stops to swallow. “I just didn’t want the same thing to happen. I was just worried.”

It takes Yuuri a moment to remember the instance Victor is talking about. But when he remembers that night, it doesn’t really clear anything up. “You’re talking about the night we looked at sex toys, right?” The night there was something so electric between them and Shoji’s nude pic had ruined the mood.

Victor nods, ‘yes’. 

“But,” Yuuri says before he stops to think about it, “you’re the one who left that night. After he texted. The way it ended was all because of you.” It’s much more accusatorial than he was planning, but it’s the truth.

It could have easily gone from ‘oh, Yuuri’s embarrassed about having dick pics come in because he’s trying to find a heat-mate’ to ‘you think he’s well endowed? Look at what I have’. It could have been a fun night. It could have saved him all the trouble of looking for other heat-partners. But it had been Victor that closed off - leaving the room as quickly as he could. At the time Yuuri had just assumed that the text had reminded Victor of where they were, of what they were, and he’d been embarrassed by how sexual things had gotten.

Victor finally looks at him. “I thought you two were sexting,” he says frankly. “I felt-” he stops himself. “I don’t want to be your substitute.”

“What.” Yuuri’s mind trips over the new information. Okay, yes, he can understand why Victor might have thought they were sexting and why he didn’t want to get caught up in it. But thinking he’s a substitute?

“Then or now. I don’t want you to be here with me if you’re texting him to get yourself into the mood.” Victor explains.

“You’re not a substitute,” Yuuri tells him outright, because that needs to be cleared up right away. “If anything, Shoji would have been a substitute for you,” he admits. “I’m not going to text him. Sext him. Whatever. When I’m with you. I promise.”

Victor doesn’t look convinced, but he does look a little less tense. He still doesn’t say anything, though, and Yuuri’s not sure what to say at this point either. There’s definitely more they’ll need to talk about because Victor seems irrationally jealous of Shoji, but when he says, “Please, just… delete his number,” in that soft tone, Yuuri knows that’s the first thing he needs to do.

But then when he looks down at his phone to do as Victor’s asked, he sees the message from Phichit.

_‘Why not? If the sex is that good, then fuck buddies is a good compromise for you.’  ‘It means you still get sex from him and you don’t have to worry about whether you’ll be good in a relationship together. Best of both worlds.’_

Yuuri flushes in embarrassment. He really didn’t want to be caught talking about their sexual escapades with Phichit. He knows that Victor’s a little possessive, so a message from former lover probably isn’t going to help. But Victor looks less angry and more resigned. Maybe Phichit’s message finally made him understand how deeply invested Yuuri is - that he might be so desperate that fuck buddies would be preferable to nothing.

He slowly goes into his phone and finds Shoji’s name, giving himself time to think about how to approach Phichit’s messages with Victor, before he finds the contact and deletes it. “His number is gone,” Yuuri starts off with saying. He’s about to explain what Phichit and he were talking about, or go back to the ‘Shoji’ topic, when Victor interrupts.

“You and Phichit are close, aren’t you?” Victor asks.

“Ah, yes. I guess so. We were rink mates for quite a few years. Phichit kind of forced me into being his friend - three straight viewings of ‘The King and The Skater’ made me realise I wasn’t going to get rid of him.” Yuuri smiles a little at that.

Victor nods, likes he’s deciding something. “If you want to talk with him about the sex you’re having, that’s fine. I know I can’t possibly hope to keep you distracted for a whole week. I just wish you’d told me you were going to talk to him about it.”

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri says automatically. And he does mean it. He shouldn’t have assumed that Victor’s prowess in bed was his to share. He puts his phone to sleep without responding to Phichit and drops it back onto the floor, out of the way.

There’s something different about Victor now that he’s no longer pinning him to the wall. Yuuri wonders if a text from Shoji would have been worse than Phichit. The obvious answer is ‘yes’, but at the same time, the way Victor’s turned away from him, his body language screams that he’s trying to distance himself.

“I-” Yuuri starts. He reaches out to touch Victor’s shoulder. “I can’t tell what you’re feeling at all,” he says. “The bond. It’s- it’s almost gone.” He hopes Victor understands what he means - that Yuuri wants him to talk about his feelings instead of him trying to muddle them out through a declining bond.

Victor turns back towards him, eyes sliding to the fading mark on Yuuri’s neck. “It didn’t last long, did it?”

“About a day and half.” Yuuri agrees. “I can still feel you,” he admits, “but it’s all fuzzy.” It was good while it lasted, and although he’s not sure that Victor will agree to any more bonding, he’s not above asking. “If you’re willing, I’d like to bond again.” He knows enough to not bring up two-way bonding, especially at a time like this. But any way to feel closer to Victor, to try to show him that Yuuri wants _him_ and no one else, is good.

“Okay,” Victor agrees readily. _Far_ more easily than Yuuri expected. “You still want a two-way bond, don’t you?”

Yuuri pauses, surprised that Victor’s the one who brought it up. “The same bond as before would be fine,” he says instead, still not really willing to bring up the topic again.

“But you still want to try a two-way bond, right?” Victor presses.

“I- well, yes.” Yuuri says.

“Okay.”

Yuuri stares at Victor. “Okay?” He asks slowly, unconvinced he’s actually hearing what Victor’s said correctly.

“If that’s what you want, then, okay.” Victor confirms.

Yuuri want to say ‘yes’, he really does, but he can’t help but wonder if it’s really what Victor wants as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. So. We finally got our wall sex. And Yuuri might finally get his two-way bond. Maybe.  
> And maybe they’ll actually finally getting around to use their mouths for something other than sex next chapter. Like, you know…. Talking. 
> 
> Hopefully you liked the chapter. If this chapter is any indication, the next chapter should have even more ‘clarifications’ between the two of them. 
> 
> Please let me know if you liked the chapter, or even if you’re happy I’m back and writing again. You’re the best motivation I could ask for. 
> 
> I’d also LOVE to hear your theories on why Victor’s suddenly okay with a two-way bond. 
> 
> (As always, if you want to keep in the loop (and get teasers for the next chapter), you can follow me on [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com).)


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. So, we’re back on a weekly update schedule (hopefully). I just really wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who’s sent me well-wishes. It means so much to know you guys care. You make writing so worthwhile. I really enjoy it as is, but you guys push me to produce the stuff I do. 
> 
> We won’t find out all the reasons for Victor’s change of bond-attitude this chapter, but hopefully it gets a little clearer (for everyone - mostly Yuuri).

“I do want a two-way bond,” Yuuri says slowly. “But… what changed? You completely refused me before.” He’d been so desperate to have them two-way bond. It’s yet another first that he was hoping Victor would take. He’s never cared much about ‘first times’ or the importance people put on them, but with Victor, it makes a difference. No matter where they both ended up in life, Yuuri wants to be able to think back to the first time he tried something and think of Victor. 

Even if he marries someone else, or even if he lives life as a ‘bachelor’, Victor is so special to him that no matter what happens between them, he wants to have these fond memories. 

Fuck, even if he’s been happily married to someone for 30 years, he still wants to be able to look back on this time and think of what Victor shared with him. He’s not sure if that makes him a little too obsessed, but Victor’s been such a prominent person for the majority of his life, and for so many life-changing decisions he’s made, that it doesn’t matter. Victor will never  _ not _ be part of his life. 

“Nothing’s changed,” Victor says with a serious face. 

But Yuuri knows that Victor wouldn’t just agree to it without something having changed between them. Not when he’d been  _ so _ adamant every time Yuuri had requested a reciprocal bond. Yuuri had practically begged him both before his heat and during. 

“Just tell me you want it,” Victor says, still completely serious. 

It’s hard for Yuuri to resist the offer, but he’s sure there’s something more to it. And even with his heat haze still clouding some of the more rational parts of his mind, he knows that he can’t rush into this. It’s only when Victor moves to bare his neck to Yuuri in what’s probably meant to be an enticing action, does Yuuri know something’s up. 

“I’m not sure,” he says, even though he’s almost convinced himself that this probably shouldn’t happen right now. He doesn’t want to make Victor think he doesn’t want the two-way bond anymore, because he really does. 

It still makes Victor clench his jaw and draw back a little, leaning against the wall again. “Now you’re not sure?” Victor asks. “You’re the one changing your mind.”

Yuuri sighs. He’s not in the right state of mind to dance around the subject like this. “I’m not changing my mind,” he says. “I just want to know what changed for you. Last time I asked for a bond, you refused a two-way bond. The first time I asked for a two-way bond, you refused. Every time I’ve brought it up you’ve deflected or refused. Now you’re just offering it?”

Victor looks at him, knowing he’s caught. 

“You told me that reciprocal bonds are overwhelming. You didn’t think I’d be able to handle it,” Yuuri accuses. It’s not like he hasn’t experienced a bond before Victor. How much different could a two-way one be?

“Look, I know the risks. I’ve experienced them. But I’m willing to work with you. You were fine with the first bond bite, so I think you’ll be able to handle another one,” Victor tries to explain. 

Yet it still seems like a flimsy explanation. He told Yuuri that he wasn’t sure if he was ready for something so intense. 

Yuuri wonders if it’s because Victor might suddenly want to use the bond as a mock lie-detector and ask Yuuri about his feelings towards Shoji or even Phichit. But he rules that out quickly because Victor had been receptive to bonding the other way and taking on Yuuri’s feelings from the very beginning. If that were the case, he would have just asked to be bonded instead. There was something specifically about the two-way bond he didn’t want. 

“So, what are the risks?” he asks, hoping that if he gets Victor to talk about the reasons he refused in the first place he might be able to understand what part of it has changed. 

Victor licks his lips and seems to relax a little. Yuuri takes that opportunity to come closer, sitting in front of him. 

“Like I told you before,” Victor says, running a hand through his hair, “when it’s a two-way bond, there’s this… echo. You can feel some of your own emotions filtering back across the bond. It usually makes an Omega get more wrapped up in their heat. Which, for some Omegas, that’s what they want.”

Yuuri wonders for a moment how Victor can even claim to know what Omegas might want, but then he thinks about Victor telling him about how he’d done a two-way bond with Chris during his heat. He’s also had other Omega partners, but Yuuri has no idea whether he bonded with them.  

He can’t personally imagine wanting his heat to get more intense, but then he thinks about traditional Omega roles and how, yes, sometimes you play into them when you’re in heat. It’s why domineering Alphas like Toshi are so popular. He thinks he understands how someone might want to lose themself to a fog of heat hormones and just let their Alpha take charge - doing everything can to please their Omega by feeling their needs through the bond. 

“So, you think my heat haze might get worse?” Yuuri asks. He doesn’t know why Victor would suddenly be okay with that. They’d both fought so hard these first two days to keep him as aware as possible. 

“Yes,” Victor admits. “But if the bond is lasting such a short time, and you really want it, maybe it’s worth trying.”

Yuuri hesitates. It seems like a logical enough reason. He’d really wanted the two-way bond and Victor  _ had _ said they could talk about it after they’d tried the one-way bond. And they’ve just found out that the bond isn’t lasting as long as Yuuri’d hoped. 

But the way Victor’s muscles seem to be slightly tensed even though he’s relaxing against the wall tells Yuuri it’s not only that. It might even be the last vestiges of the bond coming across to give Yuuri this unsettled feeling. Yet the selfish side of him is screaming to take the reasons and throw them out the window - just let Victor do whatever he wants right now and Yuuri will get what  _ he  _ wants too. But that selfish voice is only borne out of his heat haze that’s returning. 

Maybe it’s the possibility of a bond, maybe it’s because the bond he has now is wearing off, but he was expecting to have more time between sessions still. And he knows that he can’t let his hormones dictate a bond right now. 

“Sex first,” he says. “And then we can decide.”

Because Victor had been so resolute in his decision, Yuuri is half-expecting him to say they should bond now, but Victor only takes a moment before he nods. “Okay. That’s fine. We can hold off for a few hours. Maybe see how you do without a bond.”

That makes Yuuri a little nervous because the bond had helped his heat haze so much, and to go back into that foggy state is not ideal. He’d much rather be able to do something other than be incapacitated with thoughts of sex. Even just being able to properly hold a conversation would be nice. Maybe even being able to  _ talk _ to Victor. About everything. But finding out how much he needs the bond might help make the decision for them. 

“Lay back, please,” Victor asks, shuffling forwards, “and relax. I want to try something.”

“Try what?” Yuuri asks, mind having completely switched to sex now instead of bonding. He obeys Victor’s command easily, falling back onto the mattress carefully.

Strangely enough, Victor goes to Yuuri’s toy box. He pulls out the knotting dildo that Yuuri had picked out what seems like ages ago, even though it was probably only a few hours. 

“You’re throwing in the towel now?” Yuuri finds himself saying, although he doesn’t really mean it the way it came out. Victor has lasted two full days without the need for toys. He was on-track to keep up his strange, but oddly sexy, streak of never needing anything besides his own body with his Omega partners. 

There is a strange satisfaction that comes with Yuuri knowing he’s the one to have broken Victor. To have  _ ridden _ him so hard that he was fucked out when no one else has been able. 

Victor gives him a little sassy look that is probably a mix between exasperation and ‘oh really?’. “Yuuri. I’ve just finished fucking you up against a wall. I’ve had almost as many orgasms as you have in the past hour. I’m tired.”

Instead of telling Victor it’s fine, that he completely understands, and that he’s been expecting this for a while, he just slowly opens his legs, stretching them as wide as he can to show Victor exactly where he’s expecting the toy to be used. 

Victor takes only as long as necessary to grab the lube as well before he’s right there between Yuuri’s legs. He presses light kisses to Yuuri’s growing erection, down slowly to his balls, and then down even further, kissing right at his pucker. 

“You’ll tell me when you want me to inflate the knot, right?” He asks quietly, lips pressed against the inside of Yuuri’s thigh. 

“Mmmn,” Yuuri responds with a moan, slowly pushing his ass down toward Victor. 

“Insatiable,” Victor mutters against his skin. Then he pulls back to assess the toy. 

Yuuri blinks up at him, watching how Victor wraps his fingers around it to test the girth, pumping up the knot by a few centimeters to test the give of the material and how far it might end up stretching Yuuri. When he’s seems satisfied that he’s been intimately acquainted with the dick, he dribbles some lube on it, rubbing it all over the length. 

“You know I’m still producing slick,” Yuuri teases. He hasn’t cleaned up since the last session so he should be decently wet and stretched still. 

“Yes, I know,” Victor chides with a light tap to his leg. “But this is bigger than I am and if I’m using the knot, it’s going to need a bit of something extra.”

Yuuri uses one of feet to pull Victor closer to him by the hip. “We didn’t use lube when you knotted me the first time.”

Victor shrugs as he grabs a pillow from the top of the mattress. “No. But we probably should have. Call it a mistake on both our parts. Hormones.” He helps Yuuri lift his hips up so he can slip the pillow underneath. 

Yuuri’s hole is now angled up towards Victor. “I’m the one in heat,” he teases. “You’re supposed to be making the rational decisions.”

“You have no idea the effect you have on me, do you?” Victor says, a little more serious than Yuuri was expecting. “You smell fantastic. Your pheromones drive me wild. You bring out all the Alpha urges in me I thought I’d suppressed.”

“Oh,” Yuuri says as Victor settles comfortably between his legs. He uses two fingers to test the stretch of Yuuri’s opening. “But this is the first time you’ve been off your suppressants, right? So it’s fine to be more ‘Alpha’ than you expected.”

“I guess,” Victor says. “I thought I’d be a bit more rational about everything, though,” he says as he lines up the dildo with Yuuri’s hole. They’re both quiet as Victor slowly pushes it in. The stretch is fantastic. It’s a little bit bigger than Victor, but otherwise a decent replacement. They wait for a moment once it’s fully seated inside Yuuri. 

Yuuri doesn’t know what to say, so he keeps quiet and focuses on the sensations. Victor rubs one hand up and down his thigh in a soothing motion, the other hand has a firm grasp on the dildo. If Victor’s caught up so deeply in Yuuri’s heat, then neither of them are making decisions that aren’t based on sex. He should have figured that Victor could be as easily enraptured by the heat pheromones he’s been producing, even if there are scent blockers in the room. 

“This looks a little familiar,” Victor says finally, pulling the toy out just a little before pushing it back in. 

“Familiar?”

“Right before your heat. You had that vibrating dildo in you,” Victor reminds him. “And you let me sit here, just like this, right between your legs, as you got yourself off. At least this time I can watch everything.”

Yuuri clenches around the toy as Victor presses it in. Normally he’d feel self-conscious about being spread out like this. Like that night he’d asked Victor to not watch. But now, when he’s in heat, and Victor’s seen every inch of him,  _ licked _ every part of him, there’s no point in modesty. So he grinds down on the toy and says, “fuck me with it this time, then.”

Victor takes his time with it, pushing in and out at a torturous pace. And every time that Yuuri is right on the edge of an orgasm, he slows down even further until he’s left a keening, writhing mass of sexual frustration. And just when he’s about to cuss Victor out for teasing him too much, Victor inflates the knot. One pump, two, three, and  _ he’s there.  _

His orgasm is like a warm wave washing over him. It’s more satisfying than the last one, surprisingly, even though he’s completely lost the bond from Victor sometime during the session. It’s probably the dildo stuck in him, giving him that sustained ‘full’ feeling. 

“Does it feel as good as my knot?” Victor asks, tapping on the end of the dildo, but otherwise leaving Yuuri untouched as he spasms with the last shocks of his orgasm. 

“No,” he admits. 

“No?” Victor says with a smile. “Then I guess I’ll have to give you mine again.” 

Yuuri would like that very much. He’d just had it the once at the very beginning. The time between rounds has otherwise been too short for them to take advantage of that particular part of Victor’s anatomy. 

“When we bond-” Victor starts, but a frown from Yuuri makes him change.  _ “If _ , sorry.  _ If _ we bond, I’ll make sure to knot you then.”

Yuuri turns to bury his face into the sheets. He has to stop himself from just telling Victor to do the bond right now. He’s in that blissful orgasm high and the best way he can think of to prolong it is to have Victor bruise him. 

“Hey,” Victor says, grabbing a little tightly to the back of his hair so he’s looking at Victor. “Do you want that? My knot?”

The small tug on his hair to get him to pay attention is surprising and it sends a little shock of pain into his system where it mixes with the endorphins of his orgasm. And with just the lightest tug, his dick is twitching and dribbling a small amount of cum. 

A secondary, mini orgasm, brought on by the intensity of the first one. 

He gasps as it hits him. 

Victor’s eyes are wide, watching, as he shakes again. “Oh,” Victor breathes. 

“Oh.” Yuuri repeats back. They’re both a little surprised. 

Victor’s hand tightens in his hair just a little before he releases it. “Well. I’ll have to keep that in mind.” He says with a smile. 

Yuuri closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to see the smug look on Victor’s face. He’s no stranger to pain, and on some level he’s enjoyed it as a product of doing hard work. But the sexual aspect is a little new. If it’s that easy to get him going, though, it’s going to be a problem later on if Victor casually touches his hair and he thinks of this moment.

“Nothing to be ashamed of,” Victor says as he gently rubs his hands in circles across Yuuri’s torso in comfort. “The first time I got spanked, I came so hard and fast. It’s always a bit of surprise to you when a bit of pain gets you off.”

Yuuri looks up at Victor’s soft, kind face. He’s astonished Victor is so easily telling him something personal. 

“And,” he continues, “you feel weird for a moment because you’ve been trained most of your life to think pain shouldn’t be pleasurable. But that’s bullshit. You and I both know that. There’s nothing quite like the exhausted, pained feeling of drawing in gasping breaths after a spectacular performance on the ice.”

Yuuri has to agree. That moment at the end of a routine, when you’re proud of the program you’ve performed, as you’re basking in the applause, that’s an endorphin high like no other. “But the hair-” he says, “it wasn’t… painful. Not like spanking would be.”

Victor shrugs. “It’s still pain. And it was mixed with a bit of dominance on my part. No judgements here. Trust me.”

Yuuri takes in a deep breath, finding he’s not as shocked as before. “Did you-” he pauses, looking at Victor carefully, “-want me to spank you?” If Victor likes it, Yuuri’s willing to try. 

Victor breaks into a giant smile. “Well, I’d probably like that, yes. But I think we both need to be more  _ sane _ before we try.”

Yuuri understands where Victor’s coming from, but damn if he wouldn’t chew on one of the chemical heat-suppressants that are in the room if it would allow him to smack Victor’s ass until he came across Yuuri’s lap. 

“So,” Victor says, changing the topic before Yuuri can ask when they might be able to try something like that, “was the dildo sufficient?” He gently deflates the knot. 

“Yeah, it was good,” Yuuri tells him. It’s nice to have someone to control it. If it was just him playing, worrying about inflating the knot at the right time by himself, it might not have been quite so good. 

“You said mine was better,” Victor reminds him. 

“That’s because you’re… not fake.” Yuuri tries to explain. There are some things where silicone is better than the real thing, but it’s not the case for knots, apparently.

“The knot is the whole reason you wanted an Alpha. Has it been worth it?” He slowly withdraws the toy from Yuuri, putting it to the side where they’ll remember to clean it. 

“Yes,” Yuuri says without hesitation. He would have been happy if Victor had turned out to be a Beta, but he’s more than happy to experience both the anatomy benefits of an Alpha as well as the more domineering side of Victor. 

“Do you think you would have been happy with the other Alphas you interviewed?” Victor asks out of nowhere. 

Okay, it’s related to what they’re talking about, but it’s startling that Victor wants to bring them up after he’d gotten angry about Shoji. “What?” Yuuri asks, a little incredulous, instead of answering. 

“You met with three Alphas. Two in Fukuoka. Do you think you would have been happy with them as heat partners?”

Yuuri wishes he could wear his glasses the whole time because he feels like he’s missing out on the important details of Victor’s expressions when the edges of everything are a bit blurry. “I think they would have been different,” he says, sitting up. He knows it’s not the answer Victor was searching for, but when he thinks about the last Alpha, Akio, he knows that if he weren’t so hung up on Victor, they would have had a good time. 

Now isn’t the time to tell Victor that, sex-wise, Yuuri could probably find a decent match. But he doesn’t want to like and stroke Victor’s ego for nothing. 

“It’s hard to compare us, this heat, with something I haven’t experienced,” Yuuri has to explain further. “You would have been my top choice,” he admits, “but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I couldn’t have enjoyed someone else as well.”

Victor nods, face blank. “Which one? If you hadn’t chosen me, which one would you have asked?”

“I didn’t choose any of them,” Yuuri reminds him, “and I didn’t choose you. I chose to have a solo heat. It’s not fair to ask who I’d choose when I didn’t want any of them.” He’s definitely not going to tell Victor that he was on that primary list and was crossed off at the beginning. And he most certainly won’t tell Victor that he made the initial decision to have his heat with Shoji before he had a mild panic attack and decided to go the easy route. 

But Victor seems to ignore what he’s said. “I’m assuming not the first Alpha you met. You didn’t spend a lot of time with him and said he was boring.”

Yuuri has to think very hard about what the man’s name was because he was so forgettable. “Minoru?” He questions. “Yeah. He was young. And wouldn’t stop talking about himself. Handsome, yes, but that’s about all he had going for him.” Why he’s playing into Victor’s game, he’s not sure, but he almost wants to see where Victor’s going with this. 

“So having your heat with him probably wouldn’t have been great,” Victor says as if he’s not actually asking Yuuri, but rather stating a fact. 

“Not necessarily,” Yuuri tells him. “Just because he wasn’t a great conversationalist doesn’t mean he’d be horrible at sex. That’s all I would really need him for. It’s just nice to have someone you also have chemistry with.” That had almost been the case with Mark, his second heat partner. They hadn’t had much in common, so conversation between rounds was stilted and sparse. But the sex had been fantastic, and that’s what Yuuri had needed then. 

It definitely looks like Victor doesn’t appreciate that answer. 

To appease his partner a little, Yuuri tacks on a, “but no, he wouldn’t have been as good as you.”

“And the other Alpha you met in Fukuoka?” He keeps going. 

Victor had remembered the man’s name with no problem back when he’d found his ‘Alpha cloth’ in amongst Yuuri’s things. “Toshi. Yes.”

“What about him?”

“Very different,” Yuuri says. “He was the opposite of Minoru.”

“He was interesting?” Victor interjects. 

“Yes. But that’s not the difference I was thinking of,” Yuuri tells him. He turns a bit to find the bedsheets that have been kicked to the bottom of the mattress, and he grabs then so he can wrap them around his shoulders. He figures this is going to take a while and he’s a little chilly with Victor sitting so far away from him. 

“You didn’t really talk about him,” Victor says, and he’s right. All Victor knows about him is that he’d given Yuuri a scented cloth to jerk off to. A very  _ personal _ business card. But Yuuri had never discussed the dominant Alpha attitude Toshi had exuded. 

“He was an Alpha,” Yuuri starts. 

“Yes, I know,” Victor interrupts. 

“No. I mean, he was an  _ Alpha _ ,” Yuuri tries to explain again. “If I asked you for the most stereotypical Alpha you could imagine, it would be pretty close to him. Big, muscular. Dominating. His scent was-” He stops himself. He probably shouldn’t say that it had been very tempting. Victor probably already knows that if he’d heard Yuuri get himself off with Toshi’s cloth after they’d gotten home. 

“Do you want that kind of Alpha?” Victor asks. 

“What? No. That’s too much for me.” Yuuri shakes his head. “He was dictating every aspect of our interaction. You know that usually I’d rather not think about being an Omega, but I don’t think he’d ever let me forget it.” He’s being completely honest too. He doesn’t think that he’d be able to deal with Toshi outside of a sexual setting. He’d been caught off-guard the night they met by his scent.

“Am I being too much of an Alpha?” Victor asks, sounding a little vulnerable. 

Yuuri breathes. Yes, being off suppressants has made Victor’s Alpha instincts a little more prominent, but compared to Toshi, he’s practically a Beta. “No,” Yuuri says, “Not really. And besides,” he adds right away, “it’s different during my heat. The Omega part of me during a heat wants to be taken care of. Toshi would have been fine if I’d had him for my heat. I’m sure that’s why he has such good reviews - he plays into those tropes. Plus, he smells like Alpha.”

“I could tell,” Victor says a little darkly. It’s probably best if they don’t bring up the cloth again, at least not during the heat week. 

“But that’s not what matters to me,” Yuuri says. “I don’t really care if I have an Alpha personality. Or an Alpha scent, I guess.”

“So, Betas?” Victor asks. 

“Compared to Alphas, or compared to you?” Yuuri responds. Victor’s doing the same thing as he did when they first looked at heat partners online. He’s systematically going through all the options so he can come to a conclusion of what Yuuri like instead of just asking him outright. 

“Both,” Victor, surprisingly, says. 

Yuuri tips his head to the side, thinking about what part he should answer first. “Even though your knot is fantastic,” he starts with, “when I compare Alphas and Betas in general, then no, I don’t think it matters for me.” And while that’s the truth, he doesn’t mention that during his heat it’s nice to have the relaxing presence of the Alpha scent. 

“But compared to me?” Victor asks. 

“Then yes, I prefer you to Betas.”

A smile breaks across Victor’s face, like he’s proud he could be that high up on Yuuri’s list. 

Yuuri hates to add a ‘but’, yet he feels like he needs to clarify why he feels that way. “But it’s only because it’s a mix of someone I’m attracted to and someone I know.”  This is something he’s figured out recently. “The first two heat partners I had, I was sexually attracted to. And that was good, but I didn’t know them. Phichit, on the other hand, I knew, felt comfortable with. But I’m not necessarily sexually attracted to him. Not in the way I am to you.”

“To me.” Victor repeats, bright eyes searching Yuuri’s face for the sentiment behind the words. 

“Yes. We’re friends. We were never meant to be lovers.” He doesn't want to be rude to Phichit, but the two of them are much more suited to friendship. “But you, Victor, I’ve been attracted to you for years. You’re handsome, I know that. The whole world knows that. And with your ego, I’m going to say you know it too.” Yuuri jokes. 

“Thanks,” Victor mutters with a smile. 

“But, I also know you. I trust you in ways I don’t trust other people.” That’s the biggest truth he can give right now. He trusts Victor to give everything he has. He trusts him to be truthful with him. He trusts Victor with his career, with his heat. With his heart. “If I had both of those: the attraction and the emotional intimacy, then it wouldn’t matter Beta or Alpha.”

Victor licks his lips. “Okay,” he says. 

“The only benefit to you being an Alpha is, well, the biology. The knot I can get from toys. Even the pheromones I can buy online if I really need to.” Cloths like the one Toshi (and Victor) gave him are easily found on the internet. There are also synthetic Alpha scents that Betas will sometimes wear, for whatever reason they have (they want be perceived as an Alpha, they like the scent, or they want to use it for their Omega partner). “The only advantage is the two-way bond,” Yuuri says. 

Betas can’t receive a bond, although they can give their partners ones. And while Yuuri was very happy with Phichit’s bond during his last heat, he always felt like there was something missing. He wants his partnerships to be equal. And while, yes, he could technically find an Omega partner that he’d be able to bond with, the heat logistics make it a little more complicated. 

He doesn’t want Victor to think that the only reason he’s attracted to him is his Alpha gender, but that’s partly why Yuuri’s been so worried since the beginning of his heat. Victor is everything he’s wanted in a partner. Hell, he’s the partner Yuuri’s dreamed of most of his life. 

“That’s why you want the two-way bond? Because you can’t get it from anyone else?” Victor asks. 

Once Yuuri hears it put that way, it sounds bad. Of course Victor wouldn’t want to bond for those reasons. It’s selfish for Yuuri to think that way, but Victor’s got the right idea. He tries to deny it, though. “No. It’s also because it’s you.” But he already knows he’s lying to himself. He doesn’t really want Victor to feel his emotions through a bond. Yuuri’s sure it will be so obvious how he feels that Victor will immediately know that Yuuri’s pining after him: that he wants to keep them locked up in this room for months at a time. Just the two of them. 

If he didn’t care about the two-way bond, then he probably wouldn’t have requested it. So Yuuri knows it’s selfish to ask for the bond just for the sake of saying he’s had one with Victor. That Victor and he have been so close that they’ve shared  _ everything _ . 

But the first bond they shared wasn’t ideal. “Is there… is there a reason that your bond didn’t last a long time?” He asks, wondering if the strength of that bond might predict how well a reciprocal bond might go.

“You don’t know a lot about bonds, do you?” Victor asks slowly. 

Yuuri shakes his head. “No,” he admits.

“Bonds are… interesting,” Victor says, still taking his time forming his thoughts. “Their nature is inherently that they are temporary,” he explains. This isn’t new information to Yuuri. “New bonds always start off very short. A day and a half isn’t out of the ordinary. I’ve heard about new bonds that last only a few hours.”

Yuuri’s grateful that he was able to have longer than that. “Does the length have anything to do with compatibility?” he asks. 

“No,” Victor chuckles a little, “if that were the case, Chris and I would be perfect - our first bond lasted three days.” He gives a happy little huff of air, like he’s remembering how good the bond was. 

Yuuri has to tell himself he’s not jealous. 

“But no, it has nothing to do with compatibility that I know of. It doesn’t matter how short they start out, as a pair keeps renewing a bond, it stays longer and longer each time. For pairs that have been together decades, a bond can stay for up to a week. But it takes a while to get to that point.” Victor rubs his chin, pausing for a second. “Of course, that’s not always an advantage. Divorcees sometimes have trouble bonding with new partners. Widowers talk about phantom bond feelings, like their partner is still sending them signals from the afterlife.”

Yuuri wonders why Victor is so knowledgeable about bonds. 

“So, it doesn’t matter if our bond is short?” Yuuri asks, a little self-conscious. If Victor’s had bonds that have lasted more than twice as long, Yuuri wonders if he’s a little put out that they might have to refresh their bond often. 

“No, I think it works in our favour right now, actually.” Victor tells him. “If the two-way bond is too intense, it won’t last for days.”

“I’ll need a bond of some kind,” Yuuri tells him. Without Victor’s calm, more rational feelings projected across to Yuuri, he’s already feeling like he needs to be fucked again. There’s been so little time between rounds again that he wants the bond, not only for the deep connection he gets, but also for the relief from his heat haze. 

“But knowing that a two-way bond could make your heat worse temporarily, you still want to try?” Victor asks him seriously.

Yuuri weighs his options. He knows that there’s still something Victor isn’t telling him about his change of heart, and he would rather be rid of his heat haze than make it worse, and he doesn't really want to reveal all of his emotions to Victor. But at the same time, it’s  _ Victor. _ So he says, “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Where did all the sex go? I guess next chapter I’ll have to make up for the lack of sexy stuff. They can talk AND fuck, right? 
> 
> Please let me know if you’re still enjoying this. And if you want to, let me know how you think their bond is going to turn out. Or even how Victor’s going to react to whatever Yuuri puts over the bond. I just love knowing where you guys are at. <3
> 
> Also, if you get a chance, head over to my [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com) to give your opinion of what scenes you might like to see from Victor’s POV.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m a bit late with the chapter, but it ended up being longer than I was expecting, so I needed some extra time to finish. Hopefully this chapter will answer some questions for everyone. 
> 
> Exciting stuff: YCPfE is being translated into [Portuguese](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11237961/chapters/25115682).

Victor nods in agreement. “Then let’s tidy you up a little, and get you a shower and some food. Just in case the bond goes south.”

Yuuri licks his lips, but knows that Victor’s probably right. “Okay.”

Victor moves to grab the dildo so he can wash it and put it away. He pauses halfway to standing. “When was the last time you used a knotting dildo?” He asks with a bit of curiosity. 

Yuuri flushes and thinks back. “Ah, um… after we came back from Fukuoka, I guess.” He also briefly thinks of the glass dildo, but Yuuri doesn’t know if he’s willing to reveal how closely-tied Victor is to that one in his mind. At the same time, though, as soon as he notices the small frown on Victor’s face, he realises they both know that after Fukuoka Yuuri had used Toshi’s Alpha cloth. 

“So, you got yourself off to that Alpha?” Victor asks calmly. Still refusing to acknowledge Toshi’s name. 

“Yes,” Yuuri says slowly. He wonders if he should mention that Victor had been part of those fantasies as well. But before he can mention it, Victor sighs. 

“Well, at least I destroyed his cloth,” he says, remarkably calm. He holds out a hand to help Yuuri up. 

Surprised that might be the end of the conversation, after all the seeming jealousy Victor’s been showing, Yuuri stands on shaky legs and moves towards the bathroom. Victor follows with the toy box. 

“You have toy cleaner in here, right?” He asks as he sets the box beside the sink. 

“Mnnn, somewhere,” Yuuri says, a little light-headed. He opens the shower door, but Victor beats him to it. 

“Sit down for two seconds,” he requests, directing Yuuri to sit on the covered toilet. “I want you to eat at least half a protein bar and drink a bit of water before you go getting into a slippy shower.”

Yuuri groans in response, but he is feeling pretty weak, so he doesn’t try for the shower again, but instead waits for Victor to grab a snack and bring it back to him. 

“Here. Eat, please.” Victor directs, pushing a half-unwrapped bar at him. He’s got a soft, but a little worried look on his face, so Yuuri knows he can’t say ‘no’ without having to deal with a pout. 

It still takes a lot of chewing to get it down. His body is still in early-heat mode where it would much rather focus on dicks and not on other necessities. But he can distract himself a little by watching the way Victor’s strong hands gently clean the dildo, sliding up and down the length in a rather provocative way. 

“Hey,” Victor says with a light voice. 

Yuuri closes his eyes and grabs a drink of water to wash the food down. And when he opens his eyes, he’s so surprised by the large dildo waving in front of him that he almost spits it out. He swallows hard, trying not to cough. “What?”

Victor’s grinning at him. “I’d almost forgotten you have this suction cup dildo,” he says, shaking it so it flops around in the air. It’s really large too. 

“Don’t tempt me,” Yuuri says before taking another drink. His heat haze is still present, rumbling below the surface. 

Victor wiggles his eyebrows at Yuuri. “Well, maybe I’ll just bring it into the shower with me, then. Just in case.”

Yuuri sighs, re-capping the water and putting it beside the sink. He kind of just wants to get this over with so they can get to bonding. 

“Okay, okay,” Victor laughs, seeing the look on Yuuri’s face. “Let’s get you in the shower.” He leaves the knotting dildo out on the edge of the sink to dry and the suction cup one on the top of the toy box. 

Yuuri’s grateful for Victor’s strong hands under his arms to help him stand, and even more grateful when Victor’s the one who leans into the shower to turn it on, getting the first splash of cold water before it heats up. 

“Mmnn, maybe a nap is more in order after the shower,” Victor mumbles, noticing how much Yuuri is relying on him. 

“Not tired,” he says. And surprisingly, he isn’t. “Just sore.” Thankfully his ass is feeling fine - it’s the muscles in his legs and back that are twinging in pain. There's definitely something to be said for proper form when working out. These new positions that Yuuri isn't used to are putting a strain on his body. His heat-addled mind doesn’t care, though. Not when they’ve brought him so much pleasure. 

“Me too,” Victor says, rolling his shoulder. Yuuri isn’t surprised - Victor’s been doing most of the work so far. He hasn’t complained yet, though. And that’s impressive. Phichit had been whining by day 2 of Yuuri’s heat, although he seemed to appreciate it when they returned to the rink at the end of the week - his legs had been stronger and his jumps had shown improvement because of it. 

Yuuri grabs at Victor’s arm to bring him into the shower too so they can both relax in the hot water. Victor slips out of his grasp for a moment, just long enough to reach around the shower door, letting the spray splash onto the tile outside, (something they’ll have to watch out for when they get out as it’s a tripping hazard) and grabs the suction cup dildo. 

“Just in case,” Victor repeats with a wink.

Yuuri just rolls his eyes and finally manages to tug Victor into the shower. He wraps his arms around Victor’s torso and buries his head into his chest, hugging him tightly. 

There’s a ‘whump’ behind him that he assumes is Victor moving the dildo out of the way, and then his strong arms wrap around Yuuri’s shoulders, returning the hug tightly. “Too cute,” Victor mutters as he gives the top of Yuuri’s head a light kiss. 

They stand under the spray for a few minutes, embracing. The hot water washes away the restlessness Yuuri’s been feeling from their past conversations. He has the two-way bond to look forward to. 

“Can I help you wash again?” Victor asks. “Those sponge-baths I gave you just weren’t enough to satisfy my nurturing instinct.”

Yuuri snorts in laughter. Victor. Nurturing? 

“Hey,” Victor pouts. “I’ve been taking good care of you haven’t I?”

Yuuri smiles up at him. “Yes. But, I don’t think you have any ‘instincts’ for it.”

“Hmm, maybe not,” Victor shrugs with a smile. Yuuri knows there’s probably a story behind why Victor doesn’t have experience with helping other people like that, but they’re both so relaxed right now that he doesn’t want to bring it up. 

“Go ahead, then,” he says instead. “Just don’t get shampoo in my eyes.”

“Will you  _ punish _ me if I do?” Victor asks with a lecherous smile. 

“No,” Yuuri says right away, “because you’d probably enjoy it, and I don’t want to tempt you.”

“Okay, okay,” Victor chuckles, rubbing his hands up and down Yuuri’s back. “Shampoo sans tears, then.”

Yuuri moves to the side so Victor can reach around him to grab the bottles on the shelf, his back hitting something solid to his left. He glances over to see the dildo stuck to the glass shower wall, flopping there comically. He rolls his eyes, then tips his head under the water so his hair is completely wet. He closes his eyes as soon as Victor puts the palm with shampoo on his head. 

“It smells like you,” Victor says offhandedly as he uses his long fingers to massage Yuuri’s scalp. 

“It  _ is _ the shampoo I always use,” Yuuri replies, leaning up into the touch. He pauses for a moment, then asks, “What do I usually smell like?”

Victor digs his fingers in right behind Yuuri’s ears, earning a drawn-out groan in return. “Normally? Or when you’re off suppressants?” 

“Both,” Yuuri decides. Victor’s strong fingers are working magic and he feels like he’s melting under the touch. 

“Well, normally, you smell like this. Green apples, right?” Victor says, pulling back the front of Yuuri’s hair and running his fingers with a firm pressure from front to back, just as if he was gelling it for competition. 

Yuuri peeks over at the shampoo bottle to read the label. “Yeah, apple.” He’s reluctant to close his eyes again because he has such a clear view of Victor’s dusky nipples, but he can feel suds sliding down his temple. 

“And that’s good. Fine. But your Omega scent?” Victor hesitates, fingers clenching against the back of Yuuri’s skull, “it’s intoxicating. It’s more citrus. Both sweet and bitter. I-” he stops for a second. Then he pulls Yuuri into his chest again, rubbing with a firm pressure at the top of Yuuri’s neck, pulling out any lingering tension. “I can’t explain it, really. I haven’t had much of a chance to take it in since before your heat started.”

Yuuri thinks about it - they haven’t had a chance to scent each other since they started having sex. It might be because there are suppressants in the room that are dulling them, but it also might be because they’ve been preoccupied with other things. 

“Either way,” Victor says, “you smell amazing.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri says because he doesn’t know what else to respond with. “Did you maybe want to-” he cuts himself off, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. It’s strange that he can ask for sex without a blush, but asking to scent each other again? Somehow it’s more intimate than having Victor inside of him. 

“Yeah, sure.” Victor replies anyway, understanding where Yuuri was headed. “I’d like that too.”

Victor even takes on the task of washing out Yuuri’s hair, making very sure that no shampoo comes even close to his face. 

“Perfect,” Victor says when Yuuri finally opens his eyes again. 

“You better wash too,” he mutters, glancing down at the genuine smile Victor has. 

“I will. Once I’m finished with you. You’re top priority,” Victor tells him and leans in to kiss his neck right below his ear. 

Yuuri’s hands automatically go to Victor’s waist, holding him close. Victor pulls him even closer, so their bodies are touching all the way down. He gives Yuuri another kiss on the neck. Neither of them are hard, so it’s not lust that’s filling Yuuri’s body. It’s something else. Something warm and fuzzy. 

“Mnn,” Victor hums, “the shampoo and water is ruining your scent. We’ll just have to wait until after the shower.”

“Okay,” Yuuri says, a little breathless. 

Still, Victor doesn’t let go.

* * *

 

“You think anyone knows?” He finds himself asking as Victor soaps up his shoulders, then chest. 

“About what?” He asks as he spreads suds across Yuuri’s nipples and then his abs. 

“That I’m in heat.” Yuuri says. Every time he goes into heat he’s wondered that. It’s never leaked to the press that he’s an Omega, but he wonders how many people have figured it out by now. It wasn’t such a big deal a few years ago, but now that he has a figure skating legend living with him, he’s bound to be under more scrutiny. 

“You mean besides your family, Phichit, and Yuuko?” Victor asks, distracted with soaping Yuuri’s stomach and sides. 

“Mmnn,” Yuuri confirms, basking in the way Victor’s hands feel gliding smoothly over his body. Victor’s chest brushes his own, sliding effortlessly against his as he gets in close to soap Yuuri’s back. 

“Well, I don’t think anyone’s following you closely enough they’ll suspect anything if you’re radio-silent for a week.” Victor says close to Yuuri’s ear. “You’re a little bit of a shut-in usually.”

And okay, maybe that’s true. He’s never been one to go out and flaunt himself or his activities the way Victor does. “But, you have followers that are that in-depth,” he reminds. No one might notice if Yuuri is quiet for a week, but Victor? He’s a showman. Every other day there’s at least some kind of news about what he’s doing. Yuuri knows that because he used to be one of the fans that religiously followed any news about him. Anything from his order at Starbucks to the cute poodle pictures he’d post. He’s just lucky enough now to be able to witness it in person. 

“Already thought about that,” Victor says, making sure to get Yuuri’s arms. “I’ve got my instagram set up to post regularly so no one thinks anything’s changed. It’s just generic shots of the rink. Old pics of Maccachin. That kind of thing.”

Yuuri’s glad that at least one of them has been thinking ahead. He also wonders how many of the posts Yuuri’s seen are like that - set up to show an air of ‘busy Nikiforov’ while he’s actually been off fucking someone. He doesn’t want to ask. 

Victor’s hand slips down to his ass, grabbing as much as he can in a tight squeeze before he lathers it up, slipping one hand slowly down the crack to clean there as well. Yuuri just leans into Victor, spreading his legs a little to make it easier for him. 

“I can’t very well put up pictures of you on my instagram right now, can I?” Victor says, the tip of one of his fingers rimming the edge of Yuuri’s hole. “No matter how much I want to make everyone jealous of the lovely katsudon I’m feasting on.” He winks when Yuuri groans. 

“That’s a bad analogy,” he says, but it really isn’t. Yuuri’s proclaimed himself to be a tasty pork cutlet bowl at almost every turn, and damn if he hasn’t been hinting through those words that he’d be fine with Victor devouring him. It’s been a subtle joke the two have been sharing, except it's not so much of a joke anymore. 

Victor just smiles at Yuuri, then lowers his hand to cup his balls, cleaning them and the sensitive spot right behind them thoroughly. 

“You keep doing that,” Yuuri says, “then this shower is going to end up being longer than we expected.”

“Well…” Victor says as his grip changes to clean Yuuri’s dick in a salacious way. “I'm good to go again.” 

They both glance down at Victor, who's half hard. His penis twitches when Yuuri licks his lips. Yuuri really wants to move on to their two-way bond, and the shower probably isn’t where they should do it, but it wouldn’t hurt to take the edge off beforehand. 

Suddenly the dildo Yuuri thought Victor brought in as a joke isn’t looking so ridiculous. Not with the plan his heat-addled imagination is providing. 

Yuuri does a quick assessment of how much room he has. It’s a small shower, not really built for two people to shower, let alone for them to fuck, inside. But…

“Give me a few seconds,” Yuuri tells him, wishing he didn’t have to have Victor remove his hands. He does a quick turn under the water to wash off any soap and dearly hopes that he can produce enough slick in time. 

Victor makes a cooing sound in happiness when Yuuri grabs the dildo that’s attached to the shower wall and finds the perfect spot for it on the bottom of the shower. “Ooooo, Yuuri, what are you planning?”

“Can’t promise it’ll work, but…” Yuuri gives the dildo a tiny tug, making sure it’s secure on the floor before dropping to his knees. 

“Oh.” Victor says as his dick brushes past Yuuri’s check in anticipation. 

He at least judged it right, it seems. There’s just enough room for him to be on his knees and at hip-height as well as let his hold touch the tip of the ridiculously over-sized dildo. 

“I’ll just-” Victor cuts himself off, a dazed look in his eyes as he stares down at Yuuri. He backs up just a fraction so he’s leaning against the shower wall. It gives Yuuri just that little bit more room to move. Victor reaches up and angles the shower head against the far wall so neither of them are getting doused, just barely splashed with water. It means that Yuuri will be able to breathe when sucking Victor off. 

“Give me just a moment,” Yuuri asks again, shuffling on his knees to line up with the tip of the dildo. It’s a bit rough of a push down because the water and soap has washed away the majority of his slick, but he’s already producing more in his arousal, so once he gets past that first ring of muscle, it’s an easy slide. 

“I wasn’t really expecting you to use it,” Victor says, swallowing thickly as Yuuri rests his head on Victor’s hip as he slowly sinks onto the large girth. 

“Why did you bring it in, then?” Yuuri asks, panting across Victor’s hard dick. 

“I thought I might be able to entice you into a handjob or something,” he admits, running his fingers through Yuuri’s hair. “You know you don’t have to, right?” He makes sure to ask. 

But Yuuri is VERY sure. He’s wanted to get his mouth wrapped around Victor for ages. Longer than he’s really willing to admit. “Trust me,” he says, “I want to.” He bears down just a little more, letting another inch of the dildo slip into him. It’s too large to ever get the whole length in, and it would be a pain to try to get that far down while on his knees, but the first few inches is all he needs. Most of his pleasure won’t be coming from it anyway. It’ll be from Victor’s dick filling his mouth. 

Once he feels comfortably seated on the toy he looks up at Victor, eyes closed halfway so any splashes of water are caught by his eyes lashes. Victor groans in what seems like appreciation. 

Yuuri places his palms on the sides of Victor’s hips so he’ll be able to control the speed and depth for the first few minutes, then ducks his head a little so he can press kisses to Victor’s balls and the underside of his shaft. 

“Oh my god,” Victor whispers, fingers clenching in Yuuri’s hair for a brief second before he removes his hand and presses it against the shower wall. “Is this really happening?”

“Yes,” Yuuri makes sure to say, a little surprised that Victor seems so excited about a simple blowjob. Yuuri’s good at them. He’s given them enough. Practiced enough on his own toys too. Surely, with how popular Victor is, he’s had his fair share of blowjobs over the years. 

“I can’t watch,” Victor groans, throwing a forearm over his eyes. “You’re too sexy. I just won’t last long enough.”

Yuuri huffs a little laugh. He’ll let Victor get away with it for now, but as soon as he really starts the blowjob, he’ll demand Victor watch him. Just like on the ice. If Yuuri’s doing something for Victor, he expects the attention he deserves. It makes him perform better. And he has no qualms in asking for it either. 

He kisses along the length, letting his cheek rub against the smooth skin. He lifts up on his knees a little and then lowers himself back down onto the dildo, setting a good pace, even if the movements are small. Like this it’s easy to satisfy his need to be filled while also getting what he wants. 

“Are you ready, Victor?” Yuuri asks, gently grabbing his dick and pressing kisses to the side. 

“I think so,” Victor says, head tilted back. 

Yuuri tentatively darts his tongue out to lick the head of Victor’s cock, tasting the little bead of precum at the slit. Victor whimpers. 

Yuuri licks around the mushroomed head, swirling his tongue along the coronal ridge. He’s so excited to finally get up close and personal with Victor’s dick. Not that he’s not intimate with it now, but he hasn’t been able to examine it like this yet. 

It’s gorgeous. It’s long and thick; just barely wider at the sides. It has a very slight curve up and to the right, something that has probably helped Victor hit his prostate with every thrust. Furthermore, it’s a lovely pale colour, just like Victor’s skin. And just like in the picture that Victor showed him, it has a lovely rosy flush to the head. 

It’s quite simply the most beautiful penis that Yuuri has ever had the pleasure to lay his hands on. His mouth is watering just looking at it. His hole clenches around the dildo involuntarily just at the memory of what it feels like inside him. 

“Yuuri,” Victor whispers above him, looking down at him with one eye closed. 

Yuuri keeps eye contact with him as he takes the head of Victor’s dick into his mouth slowly, wrapping his lips tightly around the flushed part and sucks. 

Victor groans, mouth falling open as he watches Yuuri slowly suck more of his dick into his mouth. He doesn’t stop. He keeps going, even when the tip of Victor’s dick touches the back of his throat. He just relaxes and lets it slide further in, cutting off his airflow. 

It’s worth it. SO worth it. To see the hungry, desperate look on Victor’s face. He slowly pulls back until Victor’s dick leaves his mouth with a slick ‘pop. 

“I told you I had no gag reflex,” Yuuri says after swallowing his excess spit. 

Victor licks his lips, unable to look away again. “Hnngg,” he mumbles, completely overtaken with lust. 

“You can use your hand, if you like,” Yuuri says between small kitten-licks along Victor’s shaft. He reaches out to grab Victor’s hand and place it in his hair. He’s let his other partners fuck his mouth before and although they’d been very careful, Yuuri really doesn’t mind the idea of Victor almost choking him with his lovely cock. 

Victor’s fingers clench in his hair. 

“I really don’t mind,” Yuuri says in reassurance. He nuzzles at the base of Victor’s dick. “If you’re worried, I’ll tap your hip twice if I find it too much.” It had been a non-verbal ‘safeword’ of sorts he’d used before. And if it helps Victor relax and push all the way into his mouth, he’s happy to offer it. 

“You’re sure?” Victor asks, voice hoarse. 

Yuuri nods, taking Victor back into his mouth, hoping that will be all the incentive Victor needs. But Victor keeps still, just holding lightly onto Yuuri’s hair. 

So Yuuri takes action. He bobs his head, taking Victor into his mouth until his dick hits the back of his throat, but never further. If Victor wants to be deepthroated again, he’ll have to do it himself. He sucks hard, giving as good of a blowjob as he can right now. 

It’s a bit of an awkward movement, the slow push down of his hips onto the dildo as well as the forward movement of his head, but once he finds a rhythm, it’s not hard to keep up. He lets his mind go a bit fuzzy, just focussing on the pleasure from both ends. 

It’s a little sloppy; the extra spit he has is dribbling out of his mouth and down his chin. The blowjob fills the small shower with obscene slurping noises. Yuuri’s dick pulses every time Victor hits the back of his throat. He wishes that Victor would take control and push just that little bit further. 

But Victor’s thighs are trembling after a few minutes, his dick pulsing hot and heavy on Yuuri’s tongue. Yuuri pushes as far forward as he can without deepthroating Victor, and stays there, breathing through his nose. 

Victor must finally understand that Yuuri really is okay with him taking a bit of control because he shifts his hips forward a bit, pushing his dick down further into Yuuri’s mouth until Yuuri’s nose is pressed against his pelvis. 

His eyes water a little, but he’s happy being so full. His chest feels warm and tight from the mewling sounds he’s managing to pull out of Victor. He’s been so stoic during his heat, composed when Yuuri was not, so it’s nice to see him lose a bit of control. 

Yuuri gratefully swallows around Victor’s dick, clenching his throat around his length. Victor’s hand tightens in his hair. 

“Oh, fuck, Yuuri,” he moans. He pulls Yuuri back off his dick with a light tug on his hair and then coaxes him forward again with a soft push. 

Yuuri hums in appreciation.

Victor groans happily. “Fantasy is never as good as reality,” he says, eyes bright and shining as he watches Yuuri swallow him. 

Yuuri has to agree. No matter how many times he’s imagined what it would be like to give Victor a blowjob, actually having him in his mouth, feeling how hot he is, how salty and musky his skin tastes, he doubts he could ever go back to just fantasizing. 

He lets Victor guide him - set the pace. Victor seems to like pausing right at each end, when he’s both as far as he can get in Yuuri’s mouth as well as almost right out of it as well, leaving Yuuri to just suck his head. 

Yuuri’s legs are shaking with arousal and fatigue. Part of him wants to just seat himself down onto the dildo and open his mouth so Victor can use him. 

But being an active participant is much more fun. He swallows every few thrusts, and moans, just to make sure that Victor knows how much he’s enjoying himself. 

Victor seems to be coming apart. Most of his weight is being supported by the wall behind him; Yuuri’s hands on his hips are keeping him steady. He can barely keep his eyes open, but he also can’t seem to look away. He’s got a pink glow all the way from his groin, up his chest to his cheeks. He looks so gorgeous all flushed and dappled with water. And to top it all off, he hasn’t stopped making noises since Yuuri started deepthroating him. 

Yuuri can’t help but think that this is what he’s been craving. Yes, he needs something inside of him to satisfy his heat, but seeing Victor so gone like this is making him even more aroused, despite the fact he hasn’t touched himself at all. There’s something about making Victor just as debauched as he’s been that makes him proud. Makes him feel like he’s accomplished something not many people have. 

“Yuuri, I’m so close,” Victor pants, pushing Yuuri’s head down on his dick. “Can I-” he groans deeply as Yuuri makes sure he’s getting as much of Victor’s dick as he can. “Can I cum in your mouth? Please. I-” he swallows, looking a little nervous. “When you’re like this - when it looks like you want my cum, I can’t help myself.”

Yuuri gives the smallest nod, careful of his teeth. But he’s very excited about that. It’s what he wants too. He just can’t voice it when Victor’s practically choking him with his cock. He pulls Victor’s hips forward to hold him deep in his throat, just to press the point that, yes, he wants that too. 

Victor’s bottom lip trembles as he stares wide-eyed at Yuuri. Yuuri keeps his gaze, then swallows around him again. 

Victor cums immediately, gasping Yuuri’s name, fingers clenching tightly in his hair. 

His cum splashes hot down Yuuri’s throat. It’s hard to breathe, but Victor’s orgasm looks amazing from this angle, so he doesn’t mind in the least. 

Victor finally relaxes as he comes down from his high. Yuuri slowly and carefully pulls off his dick, making sure to lick Victor clean and swallow anything left in his mouth. 

“Oh. My. God.” Victor pants, sliding down the shower wall, legs splayed on either side of Yuuri. It’s cramped, but Yuuri knows that after an orgasm like that Victor probably really can’t stand. 

“Good?” Yuuri asks, licking his lips. His voice is hoarse. 

Victor groans at that, leaning forward to press his forehead against Yuuri’s. “Yeah. Fucking amazing.” He leans forward just a little more and presses his lips to Yuuri’s, kissing him deeply. He licks into Yuuri’s mouth, as if he’s trying to taste himself on Yuuri’s tongue. 

“You’re so perfect,” Victor praises. “I’ve always thought your mouth was beautiful, but now that I know what it can do…” he trails off as he looks down at Yuuri, who’s still hard. 

Yuuri follows his gaze. “It won’t take much,” he admits with a blush. He’d also rather come sooner than later so he can stretch his legs. 

Victor leans forward, grabbing hold of Yuuri’s dick. “You were amazing, Yuuri. Your mouth was so good.” Victor tells him with a husky voice.

Yuuri reaches out and pushes Victor’s damp hair back from his face, then leans back in for another kiss. Victor’s hand feels as amazing as always on his dick. He doesn’t even need to move on the dildo, he’s so close that all it takes is a heated kiss and a few strokes before he’s spilling his own cum. It splashes in the small space between him and Victor and on both their thighs. 

Once he catches his breath, he lifts up on his knees, and off the dildo. It’s still stuck firmly to the bottom of the shower, so he lists sideways and leans against both Victor and the shower wall, the water running down the tiles and over his shoulders. 

He chuckles a little, smearing his cum across Victor’s leg. “Well, I guess we shouldn’t have washed first.”

Victor smiles at him, his hair still pushed back from his face. “Soaping you up again is no hardship.”

There’s still a bitter taste in Yuuri’s mouth, but Victor’s smile is sweet, and knowing that after the shower, they’ll bond, makes this orgasm so worthwhile. 

“Alright,” Victor says, stretching a little. “Let’s get you washed again, and out of the shower.”

They slowly work around each other, making sure they don’t slip. Victor manages to pry the dildo off the shower floor and clean it while Yuuri washes his legs and ass again. 

Victor’s gentle with him when they finally get out of the water, wrapping him a bath towel right away.

“I wasn’t too rough, was I?” Victor asks, thumbing Yuuri’s bottom lip as he helps dry him off.

“Not at all,” Yuuri coughs a little. “I liked it, trust me.”

Victor still looks a little concerned, but he smiles a little. “Well, at least that’s one way to get a few more calories into you,” he jokes. 

Yuuri rolls his eyes a little, but bites back a smile. “Surprisingly tasty,” he replies. 

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Victor groans. “Death by erection.”

Yuuri shrugs, “seems like a good way to die.”

Victor gives him a small push back towards the bedroom. “Get in there. Let’s put those erections to use.”

“For bonding?” Yuuri asks. There’s no reason sex is needed to bond. In fact, a lot of couples don’t bother to have sex every time they bond since it’s easy enough to do even when curled up on the couch. In heat it just seems to be the more intimate and regular way. 

Victor falters in his step, hair flopping back in front of his one eye again. Yuuri pulls the towel around his waist a little tighter. “Yeah. Bonding,” he says. 

Yuuri suddenly feels nervous. One-way bonding he’s done before. He hadn’t been new to it when Victor had bonded him. This two-way bond, though, even though it’s everything he wants, it’s still such a huge moment. It’s the unknown. It will reveal his feelings towards Victor. It’s a big step to take. 

He knows, deep down, that no matter how Victor reacts to the bond, he won’t leave Yuuri. He’s stuck with him through everything so far. So he won’t just up and run. But even if he won’t run, it doesn’t mean he’s going to reciprocate anything. 

But knowing is better than wondering, isn’t it?

He tries his best to stay calm as he sits on the mattress. It’s better if he goes into this with a calm mind. He doesn’t want to send his worries or anxieties across the bond. 

“How do you usually do this?” Yuuri asks as Victor slides down beside him. 

“I don’t think there’s a formula to it,” Victor responds, tugging Yuuri’s towel from around his hips and tossing it to the end of the bed. “You know it doesn’t have to be perfect, right?” he asks.

It’s a ridiculous thing for Victor to say because he’s tried to ‘re-do’ several of their firsts together because he wanted it ‘perfect’. Like their first kiss. To tell Yuuri that this first doesn’t need to be perfect is a slight insult. “I know,” Yuuri says anyway. He tries to dismiss it because before Victor he’s never cared about firsts. 

Victor seems to notice that Yuuri is hesitant, so he leans in close and presses a light kiss to Yuuri’s lips. “You mentioned you might want to do a bit of scenting before?” 

Yuuri nods. They’ve been so busy with everything else that they haven’t had a chance to really take each other in. And it might set the mood for the bond. “If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Victor smiles at him. “Come here. Just like before.” He settles against the far wall, his legs out in front. 

Yuuri tentatively climbs onto his lap, enticed by Victor’s open arms. It’s not unlike that morning when Yuuri first found out Victor was an Alpha. Except this time they’re both naked. And they’ve had sex. And this is leading to more sex. Okay. So maybe not so similar. But the position is very reminiscent of that warm moment. 

Victor kisses Yuuri lightly, resting his hands on his hips to help him settle so he’s straddling Victor, sitting in his lap. “Look, lovely katsudon, stop worrying. If this is what you want, then it’s what I want.”

“I want it,” Yuuri tells him, putting his arms around Victor’s shoulders to bring them closer together. 

Victor shifts his head to the right, baring his neck. Yuuri immediately sinks into him, pressing his nose into his neck. The warm musk of Alpha washes over him and he finds that despite having cum less than 15 minutes ago, he’s rock hard in just a couple seconds. 

Victor returns the favour, burying his face into Yuuri’s neck, holding onto him tightly. “You still smell so amazing,” Victor mumbles into his neck. “I could become addicted to your scent.”

Yuuri has to agree. The warm spice of Victor relaxes him in a way that nothing else does. Any anxiety he’d had before melts away in his embrace. He breathes deeply, pulling in more of the familiar scent. If it’s this relaxing, he wonders how useful it might be before competitions. 

But it doesn’t matter because even just having Victor there, watching him, is enough to banish the worst of his anxiety. Pretending it’s Victor alone he’s performing for allows him to focus on his skating. He wonders if he’s able to give Victor anything like that in return. 

He always seems so happy that Yuuri has never been entirely sure if he’s happier here with Yuuri, or if he’d been happier before. Still, there have been times Yuuri’s caught a dark look on his face or a faraway look in his eyes, so he knows that it’s not all sunshine and gold medals. 

But he still wants to make Victor has content as he possibly can, so he bares his neck a little more and cuddles closer because it’s all he can do right now. 

Victor shivers in arousal under him as he presses his nose harder against Yuuri’s neck. They sit there for a while, just content to take each other in, relax into the embrace.

Yuuri lets go of his worries, focussing only on this single moment with Victor. He tries to memorize the way Victor smells, how he feels under him, the warmth of his body. He finds it puts him in a meditative-like state where he can only pay attention to one detail of Victor at a time. His skin. His scent. His fingers. The curve of his neck. 

But before long, it seems Victor is becoming restless. He nuzzles into Yuuri’s scent gland, stimulating it lightly. Then, when Yuuri ruts up against Victor’s stomach, he licks at the spot. 

Yuuri practically melts against him. Victor is so close to bonding him he can hardly contain himself. He returns the favour, pressing his lips against Victor’s neck, kissing at the spot. 

Victor lifts his hips, his own hardness sliding next to Yuuri’s. They both press open-mouthed kisses to each other’s bond spot. Yuuri feels like he’s drowning in Victor’s pheromones. He feels hot all over from the warmth of his scent and the heat of his arousal. 

“I need to be inside you, please,” Victor begs, scraping his teeth along the bonding spot. 

Yuuri wants that too, so he allows Victor to lift him up by the hips. They’re both completely naked and Yuuri is still in heat, so it’s easy to re-position and slowly slide back inside Yuuri. 

The feeling of being joined to Victor combined with the intimate nature of scenting makes Yuuri yearn for a bond. The one from before seems like a distant memory. The Omega in him keens as Victor thrust up into him while pressing a firm kiss to his neck. 

Yuuri rocks down onto his thick member, rolling his hips so he can feel every inch of Victor and commit that to memory as well. Victor gasps as Yuuri presses his teeth against Victor’s neck. There’s a rush of scent from the gland. He gets a mouthful of warm spice, something so very Victor, that he has to restrain himself from pressing his teeth harder against it to bond. 

“Can I?” He asks because it’s the right thing to do. “You can. For me. Again. Please.” Yuuri tries to get the words out. 

“Yes.” Victors breathes against his neck. “Yes. Do it.”

Yuuri presses his teeth back against Victor’s skin, pressing harder this time. 

Victor does the same for him. He sucks hard at Yuuri’s neck, pulling blood to the surface, nipping at his skin, and just like last time, the bond bursts to life. 

As soon as he feels it, he bites down hard on Victor’s neck. It draws a moan from Victor, and just like that, he can feel a secondary burst. A wave of emotion. It rolls over him, completely drowning out everything from Victor. It’s like being pulled under the waves, like he’s been caught in an undertow and can barely breathe. 

It’s overwhelming. It’s his own emotions and Victors, rolled together, feeding off of each other. It’s hard to tell where one of them begins and the other ends. 

It takes a lot of effort to pull himself back from the swirling mass of emotion. He could lose himself in it easily, but he knows that he needs to make sure that Victor is okay. 

Yuuri is so unaware of his own body that it’s a surprise to find that he’s had another orgasm - the remnants of it splattered across Victor’s abdomen. 

“Are you-” he can hardly find his voice. It sounds distant to his own ears. “Are you okay?” He manages to ask. 

Victor’s lips are still against his bond bite. All he receives in reply is a long huff of air against his neck. He can feel his heat haze coming back. That fuzziness at the edges of his perception. The inability to focus on any one thing. Where he was able to single out specific parts of Victor before the bond, he can barely focus on the man as a whole now. 

Instead of trying to tease apart if he’s Victor or Yuuri, he tries to pull apart the emotions he feels across the bond. Maybe if he can figure out what emotions belongs to him, and which are Victor’s, maybe he can gain some perspective. 

But as soon as he tries to understand the emotions, he realises something is wrong. It’s such a mess. When Victor had bonded him the first time, yes, he’d had trouble trying to understand what the emotions meant, but this time he’s having trouble deciding what the emotions are in the first place. 

Everything from Victor had been clear, sharp, in nature. Now, everything’s hazy like his heat. One emotion blends into the other and it seems impossible to tell them apart. 

Slowly he manages to pull them apart, little by little. Victor’s emotions feel different to his own, although he can’t explain why besides they seem more foreign to him. Once he figures out the distinction, it’s easier to tell which emotions aren’t his own.

But then it gets more confusing because the emotions that are his own don’t make sense. They aren’t what he’s feeling. What the bond is providing, and what he assumes Victor is feeling (because what he’s feeling must be an echo from Victor), are heavy, base emotions. It’s mostly heat haze. Arousal and the blinding need to be filled. It’s all base instincts. There are no nuances at all. 

It seems that by Yuuri categorizing their emotions, Victor is able to get a better handle on his bond because he finally pulls back from Yuuri’s neck. “Yuuri?” he says with a soft voice. 

“Is this-” Yuuri has to stop, his own raw emotions echoed back from Victor making him dizzy. “What is this?” 

Victor takes several deep breaths that Yuuri can feel. He can finally separate their bodies in his mind and he notices that Victor has knotted him and is still hard inside Yuuri, so they’re stuck together. Just knowing that he’s being filled helps to lessen his heat haze enough that he can focus on what Victor’s saying. 

“I told you this might happen,” Victor says calmly. 

“My emotions-” Yuuri tries to explain. 

“I didn’t care what I could learn about you across the bond,” Victor admits. His speech is slurred, but Yuuri can tell his words are true. “It was the same way with Chris. An Omega’s heat haze overpowers almost everything. It condenses it down to just base instincts. I can never read too many feelings beyond that.”

Yuuri sags against Victor’s chest. Victor knew all along this is what would happen? He’d been so worried that Victor was going to find out about his feelings, but now he’s finding out that there was no possibility of that at all? Why would Victor want that feeling? Is this why he’d been so wary of two-way bonding? Because if it was, Yuuri can understand his hesitation, but then he shouldn’t have changed his mind. 

Yuuri tries again to feel himself echo across the bond. But everything really is just base emotions. There are none of the subtleties to them that Yuuri was hoping he’d convey. Part of him had hoped that confessing through the bond would be the easier way than through words. 

“Is it always like this?” He finds himself asking. 

“I guess,” Victor says, pushing Yuuri’s hair back and kissing his forehead. “With Chris, his heat haze overpowered everything, just like you. I struggled. And I’m sure it’ll be hard now to keep aware enough and not get lost in your heat. But,” he pauses, kissing Yuuri’s temple, then ear, “it depends on the Omega.”

Yuuri closes his eyes so it’s easier to focus on Victor’s voice. 

“Omegas that have thick heat hazes like yours, this is what happens. Other Omegas, the bond just becomes overwhelming and they spend most of it just basking in the feelings. Others become paranoid. They lash out.” He takes another long pause.

Yuuri wonders if Victor knows that from first-hand experience. He had offered Chris as an example, but this also seems like he’s drawing on his own knowledge. Yuuri knows he can either try to focus on Victor’s emotions through the bond to understand whether he might be reminiscing or not, but if he does that, he won’t be able to concentrate on what Victor is saying. And right now, that’s the important part. 

“The majority of Omegas are fine,” Victor finally continues. “Especially if they have experience with bonding. Just like I said before, bonding always gets better with time.”

Yuuri is yet again left wondering how Victor knows so much about bonding. Yuuri’s done his own reading on the internet, but he hasn’t come across information like this. 

“I knew you’d react like this,” Victor admits, like he can’t stop himself from saying it. “You admitted you’d only bonded once before. You were so inexperienced. And you told me how insatiable you were during your heat. I just assumed that you were usually overtaken by a thick heat haze. It wasn’t hard to figure out this is what would happen with a two-way bond.”

Yuuri can’t seem to stop himself, the question hanging heavy on his mind, “how do you know all this?”

Victor kisses Yuuri’s neck once, then rests his forehead on Yuuri’s shoulder. “Just because I haven’t been able to participate in the planning doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m doing during a heat.”

Yuuri doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he just holds Victor tightly and tries to settle his heat. He tries so hard to keep from crying because he doesn’t know where there’s a need for tears anyway. He’s not upset by Victor, and he’s not upset by the situation, per se. Yes, he’d rather he were more ‘sober’, but if he’s going back into a heat haze, at least Victor is here with him, experiencing it too. 

And he’s happy to be sitting here in Victor’s lap, his dick firmly inside him. It makes everything so much more intimate, like Victor can’t lie to him when they’re like this. He’s back to that first day of his heat. So needy to have all of Victor inside him. The only thing that’s keeping him aware of his situation is that need is currently being filled. 

But everything is so overwhelming it’s hard to control, or understand his own emotions. He wants Victor to understand. He needs Victor to know what he truly feels.

“ звёздочка моя,” Victor calls softly, carefully bringing him back into the moment again. He tips Yuuri’s head up to look him in the eyes. 

Yuuri forces himself to relax, finding the cool blue of Victor’s gaze helpful.  He’s a upset because he’d rather be talking and joking with Victor instead of being so needy. But Victor has this smile on his face.

“Why you smiling?” He slurs. He traces a finger along the edge of Victor’s lips where they’re curled upwards. “I’m a mess. That’s not good.”

Victor hums, a deep sound in his chest. “Maybe not. But this way, you’re mine. No one else to distract you. You’re just focussed on me and my dick. It’s what I wanted.”

Yuuri shakes his head to try to clear the fogginess. Victor wanted  _ what? _

Victor drops his head to Yuuri’s collarbone. “Oh, probably shouldn’t have said that,” he mutters, his lips against Yuuri’s skin. “Your heat is really intense. I’m not very good at controlling it. Or myself.”

Victor had gone ahead with the two-way bond because he was… what, jealous? It seems impossible that someone like Victor could be jealous, but it’s the only thing that makes sense to Yuuri right now. 

But why go to such lengths? There’s no one for Victor to be jealous of. Neither Phichit nor Shoji can hold a candle to what Victor can offer. Surely Victor knows that.

Except he doesn’t. He can’t feel Yuuri’s emotions across the bond. 

He has to wonder whether Victor’s been jealous of anyone ever in his life. He’s always had everything: he’s the top skater in the world, playboy extraordinaire, living a luxurious life. Maybe he just doesn’t know how to handle jealousy, even the smallest amount. 

Yuuri should have just told him. Told him how he felt. Explained that Victor is the only one that Yuuri wants. It’s so hard to put into words when he’d been relying on the bond to explain for him. But maybe now is the time to say it. Even if it is late, it’s better than saying nothing at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> звёздочка моя - my star (very tender)
> 
> So yeah. Now we know. Victor’s just a selfish fucker. I’ve been yelling at him for chapters now because of this, but I knew this was the way it was going to go way back when he first mentioned he was hesitant about two-way bonds. I feel like his selfishness is very canon, though, so I’m not too upset. I hope you aren’t either. 
> 
> However, I’m assuming we can all guess where the next part is going, so hopefully the next chapter will make everything SO much better. 
> 
> As for the next update: In the next few days I’m actually leaving for a 3-week long vacation to the UK. It’s not a relaxing vacation, so I really don’t know how much time I’ll have to write, and I don’t know my wifi situation, so it’s still up in the air when I’ll be able to update. I’ll try my best, but I wanted you to know I won’t be sticking to the regular update schedule. Please keep an eye on my [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com) for any kind of info on when I might post the next chapter. 
> 
> Hopefully I’ll be able to work on some of the Victor POV side story, and I might post that during my vacation, or right afterwards. 
> 
> Please let me know if you liked the chapter or if you're excited for the next one. Hearing if you guys are excited always gives me such motivation to work on the next chapter. <3


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to quote myself from the last chapter: “Even if it is late, it’s better than saying nothing at all.”
> 
> I’m actually back y’all!!! (If you want a run-down of why I was gone for so long, there’s a post with more info [here](https://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com/post/176810014144/you-cant-plan-for-everything-ycpfe-returns).) (It’s just more health shit is all - I’ve been on legit medical leave for the past year.) I want you to know: I promised that I’d see YCPfE through to the end, and I will. 
> 
> Because it’s been so long, here’s a link to a [chapter-by-chapter summary](https://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com/post/177242596884/you-cant-plan-for-everything-summary-ycpfe) of everything so far, just in case you need to remind yourself what happened (I know I sure did). 
> 
> This chapter is longer than what I usually write, just as small token of thanks for staying through the hiatus. (I actually had so much planning for this chapter (2500 words of it) (I ended up splitting the plan into a couple chapters). And when I finally got around to writing this, the first thing I did was accidentally spell Yuuri’s name wrong. D: ) 
> 
> I really, really hope you enjoy YCPfE’s return...

“Wait. What?” Yuuri slurs, trying his best to keep his eyes open and look at Victor. His mind is whirling at an impossibly fast pace. There’s just too much to process. He’d been so sure that having a two-way bond would be a magical experience - that’s what all popular literature claims at least. This isn’t what he expected, or wanted, really.

And now he’s found out that Victor’s known the whole time how he’d react and had gone through with it anyway - pushed him into it - all for the sake of keeping Yuuri focused on him. Because he’s, what, jealous? Jealous because Yuuri’s been too much of an idiot to tell Victor there’s no one to be jealous of. It’s confusing. Especially if he thinks about it too hard. The echoing heat haze from the bond is making everything too muddled to come to a clear conclusion. 

Victor buries his face into Yuuri’s neck, breathing deeply and slowly. “Is this the way your heat always makes you feel? This intense?” He mutters. 

“Yes. But, no, wait. What did you say before that?” Yuuri asks again. He needs to make sure he’s not just making things up that fit his own narrative. In his own way, he wants Victor to be jealous: it means that Victor feels possessive of him, doesn’t it? But he needs to be sure. 

“I was so torn,” Victor says instead. 

“Hmnn?” Yuuri questions, still trying so desperately to focus on Victor and his words instead of the burning need that’s rolling deep in his stomach. 

“I liked that you were more… aware,” Victor starts slowly, almost as if he doesn’t want to be confessing this at all, but can’t help himself. “It means that we can do more things. Try more things. It means that I can try all the things I wanted to with you. But when you’re like this… when I’m like this…” he trails off again, preferring to mouth at Yuuri’s shoulder. 

Yuuri gets distracted by Victor’s lips, pulling them up to meet his own. It’s slow and languid. They both seem to be drowning in Yuuri’s heat haze. Their kiss flows across the bond in a swirl of arousal, mixing with everything else until it’s just murky and indistinct again. Victor’s dick, still inside of him, is probably the only thing that’s stopping everything from getting worse. 

“...When we’re like this,” Victor manages to continue after a few minutes, and Yuuri has to remind himself what they were talking about, “I like being connected to you. I don’t usually enjoy the fog of a reciprocal bond, but if it’s you - I want it. And it means you’re focussed on me. You can’t text anyone else. You can’t think of anyone else. You don’t want anyone else. Just me.”

Yuuri wants to talk about this because Victor being jealous is something they should figure out, even if it’s just Yuuri telling him that there’s no point to it. But he can’t pull the words out. He can’t form his lips for anything other than to kiss Victor. He finally succumbs to his heat again, and it seems Victor can’t help but follow. 

He comes back to vague awareness some time later, covered with both his and Victor’s cum, panting in exhaustion. Victor moves to the side, cuddling into his back - his forehead pressed between Yuuri’s shoulder blades. 

As his heart rate slows down, he stares out his window to the sky and he tries again to sort out whatever the bond is giving. With everything that’s going on, he knows it’s something singular he can focus on, and it’s something that’s helped him before. But yet again, he just feels his base emotions across the bond - still no nuances. 

After a while, however, after focussing solely on the bond and parsing out his own needy emotions so he can ignore them, he can begin to feel more of Victor’s emotions. It helps that he’s had the one-way bond before, so he’s used to the way Victor feels. And once he can compare what he’s feeling now and what he felt before, slowly, but surely, he can finally distinguish two new emotions that weren’t there during the one-way bond: jealousy and anxiety. 

In his surprise, he loses hold on them and is once again pulled under by his own echoing heat-drives through the bond. But he knows what he felt. Neither of them are emotions he would have ever associated with Victor. The jealousy he’s beginning to understand, and he’s even come to terms with the fact he has to say something to Victor to dissuade those notions. If he doesn’t say something, he might just end up in another situation like this when Victor feels he needs to dominate Yuuri’s attention again. 

Yuuri also needs to acknowledge the idea that he probably can’t have another two-way bond with Victor. Not if it’s going to end up with both of them like this again. At least this one should only last a little over a day, if it’s anything like the last bond. 

The anxiety, however, he doesn’t understand. He doesn't know where it’s coming from. But, with how fuzzy his thoughts are right now, he can only deal with one thing at a time. 

“Victor?” He asks slowly. 

Victor nuzzles against his vertebrate, running his lips gently along the nubs. 

“What do you feel from the bond?” He tries asking again, hoping that maybe after sex and some time since they first bonded, Victor might be able to feel more. He doubts it. It’s probably still just the same base instincts he can feel echoed back at him. 

Victor breathes deeply, but doesn’t say anything. Yuuri doesn’t ever think he’s seen Victor wait and think about what he’s saying before. But it seems this bond has made him more hesitant to speak his mind. “What do  _ you _ feel?” Victor asks instead. 

“Victor-” Yuuri begins to protest. 

Victor quiets him with a little nip. “Yuuri,” he says, swallowing hard. Yuuri wants to turn around to look at him in the hopes his facial expressions might give away more of what he’s feeling even more than the bond does. He’s used to looking at Victor’s face, but he’s not used to this. “I-, this-, your heat haze-” Victor swallows again, then kisses Yuuri’s back. 

Yuuri lets him take his time. They’re in no rush. 

“I’m worried what your heat haze is doing to me,” Victor finally says. Yuuri stiffens, thinking Victor might be hurting. Victor must understand his reaction because he immediately says, “it’s not bad. But. It makes me want to say things. Tell you things. And I…”

Yuuri understands. It’s one thing to think something: imagine saying it in your own mind. It’s another to say it out loud. He appreciates Victor’s desire to keep things private. There are things that he also wants to keep himself from telling Victor. 

“So, please. Tell me what you feel first.” Victor asks him. 

Yuuri nods into the sheets. He’s always had to meet Victor halfway. It’s only fair that they have this give and take. He can’t just rely on Victor to do, or say, everything for him. “Jealousy. Anxiety.” Yuuri can’t help but tell him. Those two new emotions are what he’s been focussing on. Usually, anxiety would be a hard emotion to place, but Yuuri has too much experience with it, it’s hard for him to interpret as anything else. There’s more than just those he can feel, but those are the ones he wants Victor to address. “Why?” He asks when Victor doesn’t say anything. 

Victor doesn’t deny either of the emotions. He could have. Yuuri has to admit he’s not great at discerning what other people are feeling sometimes, and it would be perfectly understandable if Victor had refuted them and said something like ‘actually, that’s apathy’. Yuuri would have bought it. Who’s he to be telling Victor how he feels? But it seems like Yuuri’s right for once. 

Victor tugs at Yuuri’s hip with a firm hand, coaxing him to turn around. Yuuri does so reluctantly. He’s happy being spooned by Victor and doesn’t want his heat to flare up at more intimate contact. But he’s persuaded by the fact he’ll be able to see Victor’s face.

Yuuri’s breath hitches when he turns around. It’s ridiculous that after all this time, after everything they’ve done together, that he still finds Victor so attractive it hurts. Golden sunlight is coming in the window; the cherry tree outside making the dappled light dance across the curves of Victor’s body, caressing it like Yuuri’s fingers have. His hair is gilded gold from the light, mussed and pushed back from his face so Yuuri can appreciate the sharp curve of his jaw and the plush of his lips. His eyes don’t have the same sparkle he’s used to, clouded with Yuuri’s heat, but they’re still so full of depth.

It hits him that he’s somehow managed to come to this point in his life that he has Victor like this - laying next to him like some skating demi-god sent to fulfill all of Yuuri’s dreams he’s whispered into the dark of his bedroom. He can hardly stop the twinge of happiness his heart gives. 

“I don’t know if I’ve ever felt jealousy like this before,” Victor says. Yuuri’s still caught up in how gorgeous Victor looks naked next to him that the words roll in slowly. But as soon as he catches their meaning, his eyes snap back up to Victors. 

Victor runs a hand down along Yuuri’s side, following the curve of his muscles and hips, and back up again - his fingertips pressing firmly into Yuuri’s skin like he’s afraid that if he lets his hold go on Yuuri for one moment, he might never get him back. 

“Phichit. Shoji. Any of the people you met. I’m jealous. Jealous they’ve had your attention where I didn’t,” Victor says in a halting and low voice. It sounds like a rumble and a whisper altogether in Yuuri’s quiet, tiny, room. 

“But you do have me,” Yuuri tries to tell him. Victor has him completely. Has for years. 

“I know. I have you now,” Victor continues. He shifts the arm under Yuuri’s neck a little so he can flick some stray silver-gold hairs away from his face and look up and away from Yuuri. “You ask me to watch you, only you, on the ice. And I want you to return the favour. I want you to watch me here. Only me.”

Yuuri wonders if it’s pride that’s making Victor feel this way. It makes sense that when Victor is sharing this intimate, Alpha, part of himself that so few know about, that he’d expect Yuuri’s full attention. That kind of undivided attention is what he’s used to in his regular life. 

“I don’t know what to do to make the jealousy go away,” Victor admits. 

Yuuri reaches up in the small space between them to touch Victor’s cheek and pull his gaze back. He doesn’t say anything - hoping to prompt Victor into revealing more.

“I just… don’t know how to deal with it,” Victor repeats. “So this is what I came up with. The bond.” His eyes flicker to Yuuri neck, then back to his face. “But I’m not sure it was the best plan. It’s backfiring.”

“Backfiring…?” Yuuri asks slowly. 

Victor bites his bottom lip. “Your heat is so intense,” he starts. “It’s making me… mouthy. Truthful. It’s making me admit more than I want. More than I should.” 

His sentences are fragmented, but Yuuri understands their meaning easily. He struggles with the same feeling all the time. 

“And that’s making me anxious,” Victor continues. “When we had the one-way bond, I was trying so hard to hold back. Keep my thoughts, my feelings, from you. Because they’re overwhelming for me. I can’t imagine what they would do to you. But it’s so hard to do when I’m like this. And I don’t want-” he cuts himself off with a click of his teeth, as if he’s physically trying to stop the words from leaving his mouth. 

“Don’t want what?” Yuuri asks in a quiet voice, longing for anything that would make the hope that’s growing in him blossom. His immediate reaction is to assume that Victor’s feelings he wants to keep hidden are negative, but after these heat days he’s spent with him - the week leading up to this - everything that Victor’s admitted to, he knows that’s not the case. 

Victor’s jaw clenches. “I want us to be on the same page,” he changes tactics. Yuuri knows it’s not what he was going to say. And honestly, he’s not sure exactly what Victor means. 

The only way that Yuuri can think of levelling the playing field (because that’s what he assumes Victor was getting at), is to share his own feelings. Finally let Victor know that he doesn't have to be jealous because Yuuri will always be looking only at him. “What do you feel from my bond?” Yuuri tries again. 

“Adoration.” Victor doesn’t hesitate this time. “What you’re feeling is very intense, Yuuri. So much of it is just heat-based emotions. Nothing different from others I’ve bonded. Except for that. Adoration.”

Yuuri knows he’s frowning, but he can’t help it. Adoration? What does that mean? Out of everything that Yuuri’s feeling, he would have never named that. It’s so…. unromantic. 

Victor’s quiet as Yuuri stares at him. Maybe he can also feel Yuuri’s confusion across the bond now too. 

“Adoration…” Yuuri mouths. 

“Yes.” Victor nods, his hand stopping to grip Yuuri’s thigh tightly. “I- I know I’m your childhood idol, but I thought you might’ve been over that by now.” Victor gives him a small smile - just a quirk of the lips. “You’ve seen me sleeping, with food on my face, watched me get drunk. And more than that - you’ve seen me flub jumps, mess up footwork, and watched me fall on my ass. I thought by now my novelty might have worn off.”

There’s so much of that Yuuri wants to address. He wants to tell Victor that it’s only recently he finally figured out that he should no longer be put on a pedestal thanks to his night with Shoji, but that will only make Victor jealous again, he’s sure. He wants to tell Victor that he’s never expected him to be perfect - to never get footwork right the first time, but those moments have been few and far between, and even when he’s not perfect on his skates, he still messes up with an elegance Yuuri will never have. He wants to tell Victor that being able to see him sleep, watch him eat, has only increased what he feels. 

But adoration,  _ idolization _ , isn’t what Yuuri’s feeling. It’s affection. Intense, deep, affection. 

But yet again, his heat interferes, and instead of saying any of those things, he ends up saying, “The novelty will never wear off.” Because that’s all he’s thinking about - having Victor next to him, experiencing him in a way he thinks no other person has, will always give Yuuri a thrill, no matter how long they spend together. 

Victor’s body heaves with a sigh. “I see,” he says. 

But it’s all wrong. Yuuri wants him to know. He wants Victor to understand there’s nothing to be anxious about. Yuuri’s the one who’s been holding back on saying anything. Yuuri’s the one who needs to explain what his feelings are. Victor has been quite honest. He’s told Yuuri that he’s fantasized about him. That he wants to be here with him. He shouldn’t ignore those signs, even if he’s terrified that it’s all superficial. 

“Aside from that,” Victor continues, trying to steer away from the conversation, “it’s just heat hormones. Lust. Desire. Need.”

“No,” Yuuri says without meaning too. Victor talking about his heat - focussing on those emotions through their bond - is making his heat haze flare back up again. There’s too much he needs to say before he becomes a bubbling mass of hormones again. It comes on so quickly too - probably because the bond has amplified everything. He finds himself pressing forward, rubbing his dick against Victor’s hip. 

“Mnn?” Victor gets distracted by the lust that’s beginning to consume their bond. 

Yuuri tries to get the words out - but he gets distracted by the way the light hits a tiny freckle on Victor’s collarbone. It makes his mouth water. He can feel his arousal come back to life in a flash. How many other people have seen this freckle? Maybe only Yuuri. 

“Even if this two-way bond isn’t what either of us really want,” Victor says in an almost-whisper, “we should still enjoy it.” His grip on Yuuri’s hip tightens, as if he’s trying to keep them both grounded. But it doesn’t work. Yuuri’s going back into that muddled mess of arousal. 

“But you have to know,” Yuuri forces out as his lips descend to Victor’s sternum, closing the distance between them and licking at the freckle that Yuuri wants to claim as his own. 

Victor pulls Yuuri forward into him by the hip. “Have to know what?” 

Yuuri tries to stop his hips moving because this conversation is so much more important than just wanting an orgasm to satisfy him. Victor presses a kiss to his temple, beginning to get caught up in the next round of his heat too. “How I feel,” Yuuri manages to get out. 

Victor hums. He doesn’t seem interested in what Yuuri’s saying - his hands are roaming across Yuuri’s skin and he’s meeting the thrusts with his own - his dick just as hard as Yuuri’s. 

“These emotions,” Yuuri presses on, dodging Victor’s lips as he leans in for a kiss. He has to tell him. He has to let him know. “The ones you said. The heat ones,” he clarifies. The ones Victor’s misinterpreted. “They’re not.”

“Not?” Victor repeats, voice low and husky. The arm under Yuuri curls and pushes between Yuuri’s shoulder blades to get him closer. His other hand reaches up to pinch lightly at Yuuri’s nipple. He arches into him.

Yuuri has half a mind to wait until they’ve both had an orgasm and can talk rationally again, or as rationally as this thick heat haze is letting them. “It’s not really what I feel,” he gets out. 

“What else is there to feel?” Victor asks, hand sliding down to grasp both of their cocks firmly. He pumps slowly, the ring he’s making with his index finger and thumb sliding deliciously over the ridge of their heads, making both of them groan. 

The friction is divine. Each pump of Victor’s wrist clouds his mind even more until all he can think about is the pleasure. Victor gasps every time he does. Each spark of arousal he feels gets thrust across the bond and pushed right back until it’s an endless loop. 

They both get lost in their shared pleasure - open mouths, wet lips, and spine tingling echoed gratification. Yuuri lets himself be drawn in by it. He lets Victor steal the air from his lungs with deep kisses that dissimulate desperation. 

With emotions, lust, and arousal shared between them, it doesn’t take long for Yuuri to get to the edge. Victor seems to be there right along with him. He cums first, and Victor not moments after. The sudden clarity the orgasm offers to him brings his original goal right back. And before Victor’s even done trembling with the aftershock of his orgasm, the words are already flowing. 

“I like you.” Yuuri states. 

Victor blinks up at him, and without missing a beat says, “I know. I like you too.”

It was that simple? That easy to say what’s been eating at him for weeks? That easy for Victor to accept it and offer the same sentiment in return? “Oh,” is all Yuuri can find it in himself to say. 

Victor pulls himself away from Yuuri long enough to grab one of the already-soiled shirts he’s been using for quick clean-ups. His fingers are still shaking when he wipes them both down. “I told you ages ago,” he says as he tosses the shirt aside, “Back when I asked to share your heat. I said I thought you were beautiful and I liked you.”

Yuuri almost chokes on air, his face heating up into a blush. “No, you didn’t,” he refutes, “I would have remembered that.”

“Really?” Victor rolls onto his back, pressing a finger to his lips in thought. The golden light from outside is still dancing in pretty patterns across his abdominals and making his skin glow gold where it hits the slight dusting of hair that leads down from his navel. “I’m positive I did,” he continues. “I said you were beautiful, then I asked to share your heat,” he nods, glancing over towards where Yuuri’s still lying on his side, entranced by him. 

Yuuri wants to disagree: saying he’s beautiful isn’t the ‘like’ he’s thinking about. 

“And you didn’t want to answer me at first,” Victor reminds him a little slyly, almost like he’s teasing Yuuri for ever having hesitated. 

“You surprised me,” Yuuri tells him honestly, still blushing. 

Victor ignores that and keeps going, “so I had to tell you  _ again _ that I thought you were hot before you’d even consider my offer. And then I told you I liked you, which you also were hesitant to believe. So I made sure to let you know I wanted to have sex with you.” How does Victor remember their conversation at all? He’s usually so flighty that he forgets anything and everything.

Yuuri closes his mouth. Then opens it as if to say something, but stops himself yet again. 

Victor’s not wrong. But in actuality, Yuuri knows that Victor actually said he liked him ‘because he’s unique’. And it was in the context of how Victor finds him attractive. He knows this because his brain is a master at storing facts about Victor after all the practice he’s had in his youth, and it hasn’t stopped since then. (He’s sure that if he’s pressed, he could remember every single word Victor’s ever spoken to him.) (Besides, even if he was exceptionally flustered, how could he ever forget that moment?) But it has nothing to do with  _ like _ .

At the time he’d been blindsided by Victor’s attraction to him, unsure of the motivations behind Victor’s offer. He’d taken it at face value - that Victor actually found him attractive, somehow. But after having the time to go back over it, in his own room, trying to understand how exactly he’d gotten so lucky that  _ Victor Nikiforov  _ wanted to have  _ sex with him _ , he’d thought up every possible reason for Victor’s offer. 

He’d mostly believed it was Victor’s way of getting him to agree to a heat partner so they could get back to training sooner. But it’s obvious that, no matter the original reasons, Victor does actually find him attractive. 

But then what does he mean by ‘I like you too’? Because there’s no way that Victor means he likes,  _ likes _ him. Besides the sexual attraction, Yuuri can’t find any evidence that Victor has any feelings towards him besides that of a coach cum heat partner. Which, okay, is a pretty weird combination, but it’s all he has to work with. 

“I’m glad I said ‘yes’,” Yuuri finally says because there’s nothing else (or too many things) to say. 

“And I’m glad I asked,” Victor says, giving him a small, warm smile. 

They lay there in silence for a little while, Victor stroking Yuuri’s kneecap where his thumb is casually resting. Yuuri gives up on trying to understand what, exactly Victor and he are to each other in favour of just looking at Victor and trying to memorize the lines of his face. He doesn’t know for how long he’ll be able to see him like this - soft, relaxed and open. 

“Have you noticed…” Victor breaks their comfortable peace some time later.

“Hmm?” Yuuri moves his gaze from Victor’s nipples back up to his eyes. 

“Our bond is quiet?” Victor finishes.

Yuuri begins to panic for a second - worried that their two-way bond has only lasted a couple hours, because despite how horrible it was, he still wants the connection. But Victor reaches out and places a hand over his heart. 

“Calm down, Yuuri,” he says in a soothing tone, “I said  _ quiet _ , not  _ gone _ .”

And he’s right - as soon as Yuuri feels for it instead of panicking, the bond isn’t gone. He can still feel Victor. But instead of the hurricane it was before, it’s like smooth, warm water. He’s just a calm presence. And Yuuri’s heat isn’t being echoed back across the bond. “What?” He says, more to himself than Victor. 

“Has your heat broken?” Victor asks, eyes searching Yuuri’s face. 

“No.” Yuuri says automatically. There’s absolutely no way that his heat’s over after barely four days. But he quickly realizes that Victor is probably asking if the worst part might be over. And it’s pertinent for him to ask - every Omega’s heat is different. Some lucky Omegas have light heats, barely overcome by the urge to fuck. Some have heats that last three days. And some have heats so intense that they need fucking machines and IV’s to get through them. 

He knows his heats are a little weird: most Omega heats are strong for the first day or so, then gradually taper off through the week. For him, it’s strong through the whole week until the last day, but usually he has two peaks - the first day and a few days in. 

Maybe that’s what this was. Maybe a spike in his hormones just coincided with their two-way bond, or was even brought about by it. But even still, if that were the case, it should never have gotten that intense. Besides, he doesn’t think he’s ever felt this calm in the middle of his heat before. No, this is something different.

Maybe -  _ maybe  _ Phichit was right. The only thing he can think that’s changed since they bonded is his confession. Even if he’s sure that neither of them are clear on the extent to their feelings, maybe just knowing that there’s some kind of returned affection is enough for his hormones to settle. 

If that’s the case, then he knows he’ll have to follow Phichit’s advice and have a serious talk at some point. But he’s too happy with the calm they have now to bring up a stressful subject. 

Victor is giving him a look that Yuuri deciphers as either excitement or distress. Neither make sense to him, and the calm bond isn’t giving him any clues. 

“No,” he repeats again to answer Victor’s questions. “I still…” he almost feels embarrassed to say ‘still need sex’, but after all the sex they’ve had there’s no reason to be self-conscious. “I’m still in heat,” he decides on. Hopefully that conveys the warmth still running through his blood and the half of his mind that’s consistently focussed on Victor’s dick. 

“Are you still feeling that intense heat like before?” Victor asks instead.

“No,” Yuuri gently shakes his head. 

“Is that the way you always feel during your heat? That fuzzy?” Victor asks. 

Yuuri looks up and over Victor’s shoulder towards his desk. “Yeah. Pretty much.”

“Woooow,” Victor says low and slow. “I’ve never experienced anything that intense before,” he says. Then tips Yuuri’s face back towards him to lean forwards into a kiss. “I’ve never experienced anyone like you before, Yuuri.”

Yuuri falls back into the kiss. It’s gentle and sweet. It’s possibly one of the first kisses he’s received from Victor that hasn’t had sexual undertones. “I never thought I’d be able to experience you,” Yuuri says to match Victor. 

Victor pulls him in by the waist, shuffling so Yuuri’s curled into his side, his head pillowed on Victor’s firm chest. Yuuri splays his hand out on Victor’s abs, breathing in his scent. This is kind of intimacy is what he’d been craving for his heat. Of course he wanted to have sex with Victor ten thousand different ways, but he also wanted  _ this. _ This… cuddling. The ability to just be close to this magnanimous man. 

“So you’re also feeling the calm from the bond, right?” Victor asks, threading his fingers through Yuuri’s hair. 

“Yeah,” he says, nuzzling at Victor’s bare skin. He’s feeling placid enough that he doesn’t even lick at Victor’s nipple that’s so close to his mouth. 

“Mnnn, good. I’m glad you can finally get a little reprieve,” Victor hums. 

“Do you think it’ll last?” Yuuri asks. If his history of heat-luck is anything to go by, then this will only be a brief respite and his heat will come on thicker than before. He desperately pleads with several deities to offer him good luck so that he might stay this way. 

“You know your heats better than I do, Yuuri,” Victor tells him instead of giving a positive answer. The tone in his voice seems to have returned to normal - matching the pulled back emotions from the bond. He seems to have gotten a handle on both his emotions and mouth again. “But,” he continues, “while I’ve never experienced a heat so consuming before, I’ve also never experienced a bond so calm before either. You’re either all or nothing, aren’t you?”

Yuuri huffs out a laugh, throwing his arm across Victor’s torso and squeezing a little in a small hug. “I suppose so,” he smiles. 

“Always full of surprises,” Victor mumbles, hand running smoothly along Yuuri’s back. “I thought it was going to end up being days of just that echoing heat thing. It’s really draining.”

Yuuri silently agrees. It’s always draining to be so caught up like that - with your mind so intently focussed on one thing only. It’s one of the reasons he hates going through heats. “So…” he starts, “unless this bond stays quiet, I suppose we shouldn’t try bonding again.” He hasn’t really come to terms with it yet, but he knows this is probably the best option. However, he’s holding out hope that this lull persists. If he could feel this calm, this self-aware, through the rest of his heat, it would be a miracle. 

“It’s too early to say,” Victor sighs. “We should let the bond wear off a little. If the bond gets bad again, then probably not. If you get worse once it’s gone… well, we can talk.”

“I feel good now,” Yuuri says. And he does. He feels amazing. Victor’s calm, Alpha presence is soothing the Omega side of him. The undertone of his words, however, don’t escape either of them. The beginning of the two-way bond wasn’t good. It was worse than no bond. And the fact that Victor had known and still gone ahead with it is firstly, such a Victor thing to do, and secondly, very selfish. 

“It wasn’t fair to deceive you like that,” Victor says, but there’s no shame in his voice.

“No, it wasn’t,” Yuuri says, not willing to pacify him, just in case it gives him reason to try something like that again. But an apology doesn’t seem to be forthcoming.

“If you’re feeling lucid now,” Victor changes the subject completely, “and you’re not feeling the urgent need for my dick, then maybe we should get you some food and cleaned up. I tried to give you a couple baths, but we keep getting messy.” Yuuri can practically hear the wink that Victor’s probably giving him. 

“Wait,” Yuuri says, frowning, shifting up onto his elbow so he can turn around and look at Victor. “Baths? I just remember one,” he says, thinking back. 

“I’m not surprised,” Victor says, pushing Yuuri’s hair back away from his face. He has a soft smile on his face. “You were pretty out of it. You forgot my name, even.”

Yuuri’s pretty sure he remembers that part, but most of it is hard to concentrate on. Everything’s muddled, like staring into murky water. It’s hard to tease apart any distinct memories from the first few days of heat. He wonders if he’s said anything during that time that he should be embarrassed about. He wants to ask, but it’s probably better if he stays ignorant. 

"Anything else I forgot?" Yuuri asks. 

Victor shakes his head, looking up at Yuuri. "Nothing I can't make sure to remind you of." He pulls Yuuri down for a genuine kiss. It's delicate and sweet again. 

This softer side of Victor has always given him a nebulous feeling behind his ribcage, almost like his chest is being wrapped in a warm towel that's meant to soothe but is just a little bit too hot and constricting to get used to. It's a good feeling. It's one that so few people can give him, and none like Victor. 

"Maybe not a shower right now," Yuuri says when they both pull away from the kiss. 

"Mmmnn?" Victor hums, his eyelashes fluttering. He seems like his mind is somewhere else; he's thinking of something happy, if the curl of his lips is anything to go by. 

"I'm not sure how long it will be before the next round," Yuuri tells him truthfully. As much as the quiescent bond is cooling his heat, he can still tell there's arousal lurking below the surface. If they end up in that dazed, singularly-focused state like last time, it's probably best if they don't have to contend with slippery floors. 

"Okay," Victor agrees. "We'll just wait it out, then. And if we're still feelings this way later, then we can take the time to care for ourselves." 

Yuuri nods his agreement. He doesn't really care about the food or shower, but it will make a difference if he can mostly regain his normal focus. Victor tenderly brushes Yuuri's hair back again and then says something Yuuri isn't expecting in the least. 

"If you're willing," Victor squints up at him, "maybe this round, we could switch."

Yuuri's eyebrows crease for a quick second before he gets what Victor is implying. "You mean...?" He questions, wanting to make sure before he jumps to conclusions. 

"You could use a vibrator or dildo to satiate your Omega need, but I, personally, wouldn't mind if you fucked me." Victor is clear on his intentions. 

Yuuri swallows roughly. He shifts up off his elbow and sits up on the bed, putting a little distance between the both of them. Victor follows him up, propping himself up on his elbows to look at Yuuri. 

"If you don't want to, I'll und-"

"Wait," Yuuri says quickly. He doesn't want Victor to take it back. "I-" he breathes out, unsure how to respond without sounding overly eager. 

But he knows he needs to pause and think about it for a second. The last time he just went with what Victor wanted, it had led to their all-consuming two-way bond. (Which is doing okay now, but that’s hardly the point.) 

Victor patiently waits, just calmly looking at Yuuri. His blue eyes are swimming with dazzling depths of colour where the golden sun hits them at a sharp angle. 

Is Victor offering himself up because he actually wants it? Or is it something else? 

Maybe he's offering himself to Yuuri because it's his way of apologising for the two-way bond. That's certainly an option. But it's so unlike Victor to apologise for anything, even if it's through actions instead of words. 

Maybe he's offering because he thinks it might make Yuuri's heat stronger again. Even if he admitted he was jealous, he never said that those feelings had stopped. And if Yuuri's more cognisant right now, maybe he's looking for a way to make him a mess again so he'll keep focussing solely on Victor. Yuuri hopes that's not the case. He'd been clear that he liked Victor - he shouldn't need further reassurance that jealousy isn't needed. 

Or maybe it's because Victor needs a break to reset his refractory rate. That also sounds completely plausible. It's been a long couple of days for them, and he doesn't remember how many times Victor's cum since they bonded. 

Of course, the one option that Yuuri is trying not to consider (because it's the only reason he really wants to be true, and would thus influence him), is that Victor wants it because he actually wants to be fucked. That, despite being an Alpha, he actually wants Yuuri's dick inside of him. It's not hard to recall the time when they were looking at potential heat mates on Yuuri's laptop and Victor had all-but-said he liked giving and receiving. And good lord does he want to give that to Victor. He wants to make Victor feel as good, better, even, than he's made Yuuri feel. 

It makes him a little nervous, however. It's not like he doesn't have the experience. Just not much of it. He knows the mechanics. He knows what feels good for himself. He also knows his stamina can give him the extra edge to last long enough to satisfy his partner. But would it with Victor?

"Yuuri?" Victor asks softly to bring him out of his thoughts. He looks a little nervous, for once. "It was just a suggestion. If you're not comfortable with it, then we don't have to try."

There are so many factors that Yuuri should probably think about. Mostly, if this is another ploy by Victor to reach a hidden goal. But in the end, yet again, his need to try everything he possibly can with Victor wins out over any possible ramifications. 

"If it's something you want, Victor, I'd be happy to." Yuuri finally says. 

Victor breaks out into a giant smile. "Perfect," he grins. 

He immediately rolls over, giving Yuuri a fantastic view of his ass, and reaches for the toy box they've left at the top of the mattress. "Which toy do you want?" He asks. 

"Uuum," Yuuri lays down next to him to check in the box as well. If he's going to fuck Victor then it's probably essential that he has something inside him to satiate his heat needs. 

There's a few good options, really. He almost immediately chooses the remote-controlled vibrator. The idea that Victor could still be in control of his pleasure is a very enticing idea. 

But he wants to be such a fantastic lover Victor that he will, firstly, request that Yuuri penetrate him again another time, and secondly, be an uncontrollable mess from Yuuri's ministrations. And he can't do that with Victor focussing on anything except for the way Yuuri fucks him. (He knows it's a lot of pressure he's putting on himself, but he's trying to not overthink it.)

So, instead, he chooses a toy that will absolutely stay inside of him no matter what kind of positions they end up in: he picks out the plug set. It's hard to decide which of the four he should use. The primal side of him yells out to just use the largest one, but the rational side of him screams back he'll just end up hurting himself. He pulls out the two middle sizes and compares them. 

"Will that be enough stimulation?" Victor asks.

"I don't know," Yuuri says truthfully. The other times he'd been on the giving instead of receiving end were much closer to the last of his heat when the need to be filled wasn't so prominent. 

"You don't want to try something different, then?" Victor asks, reaching into the box and pulling out the knotting dildo and a prostate massager. 

Both will stay in him well-enough, but again, he wants this round to be more about Victor than himself, and if he gets too caught up in the tingles of pleasure from his prostate, then he won't be giving his all to Victor. 

"The plug is fine," he says firmly, "and if I need something more, I can switch out later."

"Okay," Victor nods and tosses the toys back into the box. "Did you want me to get you ready right now, then? You can keep it in until you start feeling the need. That way we won't have to spend extra time later making sure we’re both good to go."

"Are you suggesting that I use one and you use another right now?" Yuuri asks, looking down at the two plugs in his hand he still hasn't chosen between. He slides up to his knees so he can look Victor over. 

Victor flushes and buries his face into the pillow that's lying haphazardly halfway on, halfway off the bed. "Yuuuuri," he drawls. "I didn't say that."

"Okay," Yuuri replies, but doesn't let go of either plug. "But you might want to?" He asks tentatively. 

Victor looks over his shoulder towards Yuuri, face flushed in a lovely pink. "If you're insisting..." he says, a little muffled by his own arm. 

Oh. OH. Victor's trying to downplay it. He wants Yuuri to make the decision because he's too embarrassed to ask. He hadn't been too embarrassed to ask to be fucked, and Yuuri doesn't really understand the difference between asking for that and the plug, but with the colour sitting high on Victor's cheeks, he isn't going to waste this so-rare opportunity by calling him out. He vaguely remembers Victor saying that he hadn't ever used a regular plug before, but he definitely remembers him talking about a vibrating one that he'd used more than once. 

"I insist," Yuuri tells him, although he keeps his tone light and affable to insinuate that Victor is welcome to say 'no'. "Don't you have your own plug?" Yuuri asks, already getting up, leaving his own set behind on the sheet. As much as he'd love to share toys with Victor, he knows it's a sanitary issue.

"Yes," Victor muffles back into the pillow, watching as Yuuri stands and walks on shaky legs to his desk where Victor's toy box is sitting. He's never actually seen what's inside the box before - only heard Victor talk about some of the pieces. He covers his flutter of nervousness with a stretch - his bones popping and cracking. He's been either lying down or in awkward positions for days, it's a wonder he's not stiffer. 

He doesn't have to look over his shoulder to know that Victor is watching him, so he doesn't waste too much time before reaching out (with surprisingly steady hands) to lift the lid. 

There's a bit more inside than he was expecting. Some of it he doesn't recognise. He would take his time and look through everything if given the opportunity, but he doesn't want to hesitate in case either Victor or he loses their nerve. 

"It's in the navy velvet bag," Victor says in a quiet voice. It's actually sitting right up the top, so he grabs it and closes the box. He desperately hopes there will be at least one more opportunity in the future to look through it. 

He takes the plug out and leaves the bag on top of the box for safekeeping. 

It's actually quite a lovely plug. It's gold-coloured stainless steel, so it shines in the sunlight. And at the end is a lavender-coloured gem that sparkles even brighter. It fits Victor's personality to a 'T'. Yuuri wonders if he'll ever be able to look at Victor's skate blades without thinking about this exact moment and toy ever again.

"How does it work?" Yuuri asks, turning it over in his hands. The ones he's seen online usually come with a cord and remote. 

"Click the end," Victor says, cheeks still pink. 

Yuuri clicks the gem at the end and it hums to life. It seems there a few increasing intensities before it turns off. "Easy enough," he says to himself, then rejoins Victor on the mattress. 

"Which one are  _ you _ going to use?" Victor asks, turning away from Yuuri to grab the black plugs and hide his face. His ears are pink too, though, so he's not fooling anyone.

"The smaller one, I think," Yuuri finally decides. It's better if he starts small and moves up a size if necessary. He doesn't need to hurt himself before this week is up. 

"Do you want me to-?" Victor asks quickly, tossing the larger size back in the box with the others. 

"Yes, I want you to, but let me do yours first. I don't want to wait too long and have to try and prep you during the next heat round if it comes quickly," he explains.

Victor nods, but doesn't say anything. 

"You're okay with this?" Yuuri asks, just to make absolutely sure. 

"More than okay," Victor finally meets his eyes, even if they're shaded through his fringe of hair. 

Yuuri takes that as enthusiastic consent, so he leans over Victor's torso to grab the lube. Victor's plug gets put on the cleanest part of the sheets he can find, and then all he's left with is the task of actually opening Victor up. 

Oh god. How is he going to do this?

They've had sex, sure. They've shared the same air, the same space, the same fluids. Victor's seen every inch of him: has touched every inch of him. But this is the last 'mystery' left between them. Yuuri swallows harshly, eyes running along the long, slim line of Victor's back to his gorgeous, toned, round ass. The number of dreams he's had about this moment (Victor's butt) is astronomical. 

"Yuuri?" Victor asks. 

He's been staring too long. "Sorry," he says quickly. 

"You've touched me before. This isn't going to be any different," Victor tells him, looking back.

Except it is different. "Have you seen your ass?" Yuuri can't stop himself from saying. 

Victor lets out a loud bark of laughter. "You say that as if yours isn't just as fabulous."

Yuuri disagrees - Victor's is far nicer, if only because it's part of him. So, instead of arguing, he leans down and runs his hands from Victor's shoulder blades down to his butt and back up again, revelling in the softness of his skin. Victor lets out a pleased hum at the contact. 

His ass is firm, but still so soft, and Yuuri can't help but places kisses on each globe. Victor shoves his head into a pillow and shamelessly raises his hips up so Yuuri's allowed better access. 

He kneels between Victor's slightly spread legs and leaves sucking kisses up his spine. 

Victor's fingers tighten in the sheets, clenching harder when Yuuri kisses at the base of his spine and finally lays his hands fully on Victor's ass. He wants to tell Victor how gorgeous he is and how many times he's dreamt of having this, but instead he occupies his mouth with kissing as much skin as possible. 

"Yuuri, don't tease," Victor whines. 

Yuuri does want to tease him. He wishes he could spend hours worshiping every inch of Victor's body until he's a trembling and incoherent mess. In a different life, a different situation, he would have taken his time (maybe even returned the favour by rimming him for hours), but he understands the urgency now. "Spread, please," Yuuri asks. 

Victor immediately spreads his legs open, giving Yuuri access to the most intimate parts of him. His skin is pale, but darkens to a dusty pink around his hole. Yuuri would wax poetic about flowers and Victor's body, but he focuses on the task at hand. He grabs two handfuls of Victor's ass and squeezes tightly once, just to say he's done it, then takes the lube and dribbles it over his fingers and down Victor's crack. He knows he needs to be generous because he's the only one with Omega slick. 

He takes a deep breath before he slowly and gently places his index finger at the rim of Victor's hole and slowly presses in. He keeps telling himself that he’s done this to himself so many times that he knows what he’s doing and to  _ not freak out _ . Victor groans and pushes back onto his finger, not caring about Yuuri's resolve to do this slowly. 

Maybe Victor has the right idea, because seeing this gorgeous man writhe beneath him (watching the muscles in his shoulders tense and move sinuously) is rousing his heat's attention. It won't be long until he's gagging to be in the same position. 

He quickly, but gently presses a second finger in. Victor's tight - he probably hasn't done this to himself for a while. Yuuri reminds himself that while he's been having sex for the past few days and had been stretching himself little by little leading up to this week, Victor has all but said he hasn't used the plug since he's been here, and hasn't had sex either. So, unless Victor makes a semi-nightly habit of fingering himself, Yuuri's going to have to be especially gentle and conscious of how well Victor's handling things. 

He has a sudden second of doubt - maybe this isn't the best time for them to be trying this. Is it safe to try this at all during his heat week? But Victor trusts him and Yuuri wants this more than anything. If he can give a little of this pleasure back to Victor, then he has to try. He'll just have to rely on Victor to let him know if he's going too far. 

Besides, it's like the moment where their bond cleared was a renewal moment for them. It's almost like he's restarting his heat with all his insecurities gone. He'll just enjoy what they both have. They like each other. Whatever that means doesn't matter. All that matters is having Victor next to him and the skin-on-skin contact. 

It's quiet between them as Yuuri fingers him open, except for Victor's mewls of pleasure and support. It takes a bit of time and a lot of lube to make sure Victor is thoroughly opened and ready to receive the plug (and his dick! Yuuri reminds himself) without any lasting pain. Inside of Victor feels like warm velvet and Yuuri is loath to pull his fingers out. He's been avoiding Victor's prostate as best he can - saving it for when he’s actually going to put his dick inside him.

He decides to forgo the vibe part of the plug - he wants Victor to be prepped, not on the edge of an orgasm. The gold plug, lubed thoroughly, slides in easily with a little ‘pop’. The gem at the end sparkles salaciously. It looks like it was made for Victor's ass: the soft lilac colour compliments his skin tone and silver hair. He pushes a vision of Victor draped in loose lilac clothes from his mind because it's too beautiful and he needs to appreciate the view he has right now. 

"Gorgeous," Yuuri can't help but say. 

Victor is minutely trembling. "Couldn't you fuck me now instead of waiting?" He asks, his voice sounding completely wrecked. 

Yuuri eases Victor's hips back down to the mattress and turns him over. There's a flush from his navel that spreads all the way up his chest, out to his nipples, and then dances up his neck to his face. Yuuri slides up over him so he can lean down and for a long, deep kiss. Victor moans into his mouth, his hips jerking up towards Yuuri's in the hopes he'll get some stimulation for his hard dick that's beading with precum. 

"The sooner you do this," Yuuri says when he pulls back, nodding towards his plug that's been left out, "the sooner I can. If I wasn't in heat, then I wouldn't wait." It's said without a hint of a lie. 

Victor beams up at him. "Yes," he agrees. 

It's awkward to move around so it's Yuuri that's on his back with Victor above him, but they manage it quickly. Victor's far more efficient in getting Yuuri ready, maybe because he's done this quite a few times now, or maybe because he's desperate to be fucked. Yuuri hopes it's the latter. 

The plug, with lube and his own slick, slides in easily. It gives him the same full feeling that a knot would but barely touches his prostate. It was a good choice - at least this way he'll satiate the more primal side of his heat without being over-stimulated. 

Victor taps the end of the plug and it sends shivers down his spine. "We match," he says in a sing-song voice. 

Yuuri pulls him down for a kiss, rutting up against him. His arousal is at an all-time high, and it's not just because the next round of heat is creeping back up into his veins. It's driving him crazy to know that Victor's in the same state he is - completely turned on and ready to be fucked at a moment's notice. 

He allows the heat to flow back over him - welcomes it. There's no way he'll be able to hold it back when he knows what's coming. 

"How do you want me?" Yuuri pants into Victor's mouth. Victor doesn't reply right away, just rolls his hips so their dicks brush past each other's in a sensual drag. 

"Just like this," Victor finally says when their lips part for long enough. 

Yuuri places a hand on his hip to still his movements. As lovely as this is, he figures he's got a couple minutes of complete lucidity before his arousal flares up too much and there's no way he's wasting it on just frottage. "Vityaaaaa," he moans. 

The use of the nickname that he so rarely utters is enough to let Victor know that Yuuri means business. He moans Yuuri's name back, but does peel himself away so their dicks can have some mind-clearing space. "Yes, like this," Victor says again. But this time he reaches back and pulls his plug out (a little too quickly for Yuuri's liking) and tosses it out of the way towards a pile of clothes near the bottom of the bed. Yuuri wishes he’d gotten a longer view of it sitting so prettily inside Victor. 

He dribbles lube onto Yuuri's dick that's standing at full attention, the chill surprising at first, until Victor's moved with expert precision to straddle him - his thighs radiating heat. 

Both of Yuuri's hands go to Victor's hip bones so he can control their pace a little. He's afraid if he just lets Victor do what he wants, he'll end up hurting himself. He clenches them tightly. "You're sure you want this?" Yuuri has to make sure again. 

"Yes," Victor says without hesitation; the tip of Yuuri's dick is resting lightly at his entrance. His face still has that lovely flush, but he has a smile on his lips and his eyes are sparkling with excitement. "Trust me, Yuuri, I really want this."

He braces one hand on Yuuri's chest, his fingers splayed, and the other goes back to guide Yuuri to the spot he's needed. The seductive look Victor gives him as he slowly lowers himself onto Yuuri's dick almost does him in right there. 

Victor feels like heaven all around him. His hot heat pushes warmth from Yuuri's dick all the way up his body. He's probably just as flushed by now. He's already gasping when Victor finally seats himself fully in his lap. 

Yuuri is just so thankful that he's lucid enough that he'll enjoy this: that he'll remember this. He runs his trembling hands down Victor's thick thighs in an effort to both distract from any lingering stretch Victor might feel and to also desperately hold himself back from cumming right then and there. Victor looks the ever-present skating god he is. His hair is mussed and shining with a golden crown of light around the edges. He's flush with arousal, eyes closed, and head tipped back to bare his neck and whole body.

If Yuuri can draw on an ounce of the 'Eros' that Victor is projecting right now, he'll have the gold medal without a fight. 

Victor places both hands on Yuuri's chest and uses them as leverage to barely raise himself up the smallest amount and slowly push back down. 

Yuuri knows he needs to let Victor lead to begin with, but he desperately wants to fuck up into his tight warmth. He wants nothing more than to pull every possible kind of moans from Victor's mouth because surely the sounds he makes when he's inside Yuuri are different from when Yuuri is inside him. 

He gets his first taste of Victor's debauched noises when he huffs out a low, "haaaaa," as he bottoms out again. Yuuri clenches all the muscles in his glutes and abs to make sure he keeps his hips still, fighting his natural automatic reaction. 

"Is it-?" Yuuri tries to ask. 

"Good. So good, Yuuri," Victor pants back. He tips forward, resting more of his weight on Yuuri's chest as he lifts up again. 

Yuuri reaches out and tucks part of Victor's fringe behind his ear so he can carefully observe the pleasure that's flickering across his face. "You're so gorgeous," Yuuri finds himself saying again. "How are you even real?" He asks, not expecting an answer. He thumbs across Victor's cheekbone, then down to his plush lower lip. 

Victor gently nips at the pad of this thumb before leaning back again so he can use his thighs instead of his arms to fuck himself onto Yuuri's dick. "I could use a little help here," Victor says cheekily. 

Yuuri doesn't think Victor needs any help. Victor's got amazing thighs that would surely be able to handle any pace that he wants to set. But Yuuri hears the undertones. "If you think you're ready enough," he says. 

"More than. Please," Victor adds on at the end.  

Yuuri finally lets himself roll his pelvis upwards. 

Victor makes a gurgling sound in the back of his throat. "Oh god," he moans. "Again. Do that again," he begs. 

Yuuri complies easily, lifting his hips up so he can grind deeply into Victor. He feels burning hot all over at the noises it pulls from Victor's mouth. 

"Just like that," Victor pants, moving his own hips in tandem with Yuuri's so he gets the deepest penetration possible. Yuuri knows he's hitting a good spot if Victor's open expression and moans are anything to go by. He angles his hips so he can catch that spot unerringly. 

Victor trembles and takes over most of the control, rising as high as possible without Yuuri's dick leaving him, then slamming back down. Yuuri meets his thrusts. Victor's dick dribbles a thin line of cum down to Yuuri's abdomen. 

Yuuri looks down and almost cums right there because he catches a glimpse of possibly the most erotic thing he's seen in his life - Victor's rock-hard dick bobbing, and more importantly, his own dick that's disappearing inside his idol. 

He clenches in an effort to control himself, but all that does is remind him he has a plug inside of himself that's pressing into good spots. 

"Slow down, please, Victor," he pants, trying to hang on. The next round of his heat has almost engulfed him again, but he's still so calm and lucid. 

Victor does the opposite - he speeds up. And then he uses his fingernails to gently scratch at Yuuri's nipples. It's his undoing. He comes hard and fast, curling up towards Victor with the force of it. 

Spots and stars blink in front of Victor's grinning face. He looks positively angelic. 

"Oh, Yuuri," he purrs, "what a lovely sight to see. It's too bad your stamina on the ice doesn't transfer to the bedroom." It's lighthearted teasing, but Yuuri isn't going to let Victor get away with thinking that he doesn't have enough stamina to keep up with him. 

"I didn't say I was done," Yuuri growls, his first orgasm fading in endorphin-rush tingles down his arms. He grabs Victor's ass and lifts, using every bit of coordination and muscle power he can muster to flip them over, his still-hard dick firmly ensconced in Victor's ass. 

"Oh!" Victor breathes as Yuuri deposits him onto the mattress. Yuuri quickly lifts Victor's legs so Victor doesn't have a chance to recover and so he's got the best position to rut into him hard and fast. 

"Don't underestimate me," Yuuri tells him in a low, sultry voice. 

Victor's fingers grasp at his biceps, eyes wide. "Yes. Show me your Eros, Yuuri," he cajoles. 

Yuuri doesn't hold back. He slams into Victor, setting a brutal pace: fucking him hard and fast. It's only when he's gotten into a rhythm and his first orgasm has cleared away any leftover cobwebs in his mind that he can finally focus on Victor and their bond. 

He's still completely coherent while in a round of his heat. He feels as judicious as he would on his last day of heat. It seems as if the clarity their feelings brought to their two-way bond has taken away any of the messy side-effects Yuuri despises so much. 

And through the bond he can feel Victor. He can feel Victor's arousal, his desperate need to orgasm, his pleasure. Even if his other thoughts and feelings have been held back, these ones are clear. It's almost like Victor's pleasure is his own. In a way, even with just the plug inside himself, he's getting the pleasure of being fucked by what he's feeling from Victor across the bond. 

It's a transcendent experience. 

Yuuri keeps his pace, revelling in everything he can feel, sitting right on the edge of another orgasm. Victor meanwhile keeps getting closer and closer to orgasm, and Yuuri hasn't even touched his dick yet. He didn't expect Victor to be this sensitive or responsive. He vows to do this at least one more time before his heat is up. 

Finally, when Yuuri knows Victor's so close it won't take more than a few good strokes, he finally lowers his hand to Victor's engorged dick. 

Even just the touch makes Victor yell in ecstasy. He throws an arm across his face to muffle the whines that are emitting from his spit-slicked mouth. 

Yuuri had previously thought that Victor might have been offering to bottom as a form of apology, but it's obvious now that wasn't it at all. He's enjoying it far too much for it to be an apology. 

"Cum for me, Victor," Yuuri demands. And he does. 

Thick ropes of cum splatter between them as Victor sobs in euphoria. 

Victor's orgasm rips across the bond as well, forcing Yuuri's from him as well. He folds into his partner, the both of them shaking with the amplified force of it. 

“Oh my god,” Victor breathes when they both finally come down from the high, slumping against each other in a sticky, sweaty pile. 

“That was-” Yuuri clears his throat. 

“Amazing?” Victor offers. 

“Yeah,” he agrees. Victor moves so his arm isn’t getting squished by Yuuri’s body weight, and once he’s comfortable, Yuuri grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers. “Thanks for doing this,” he says quietly. “I’m really glad you wanted to try it with me.”

“Of course I did,” Victor says breezily, squeezing Yuuri’s hand briefly. They’re quiet for a minute or so, both catching their breath. Then, tentatively, Victor asks, “have you done this with anyone else?”

Yuuri can feel the slightest bit of jealousy flare up over the bond, but it dims quickly. He’s not sure if he wants to answer, so he deflects instead. “I think most of the heat partners I was looking at would have been against it.”

“Yuuri, I’m not-” Victor sighs. “-I’m not going to get upset. I just want to know more about you. Do you not want to tell me about your past?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is. So they finally said something to each other. Finally admitted they liked each other. And it was…. anticlimactic? I think they both have their own versions of what ‘i like you means’, and they will absolutely have to sort that out. 
> 
> I also kinda wanna point out that although Yuuri was a good boy™ he never actually told Victor he didn’t still idolize him. Honey, that’s gonna come back to bite you in the fucking ass. And not the way Victor’s usually been doing it. 
> 
> Also, just fyi: 100% Victor’s plug isn’t real. (At least, not that I could find.) But fuck it. It’s what I wanted. You can absolutely find gold-coloured gem plugs, though. And Victor obviously had to have one. (I want a picture of him with it so badly….)
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and is still excited about chapters to come. There’s still SO MUCH story I want to tell with these two. (Next chapter they should finally confront Victor’s jealousy (Phichit) problem.)
> 
> I’m not sure if I’m able to get back on a regular schedule yet, so please check out my [tumblr](http://contentwhatcontent.tumblr.com) to get updates on when I’ll post the next chapter, but it shouldn’t be more than a couple weeks.
> 
> PLEASE let me know if you enjoyed the chapter and if you’re excited to see more. (Or even if you wanna share your theories about what’s going on with Victor.) Knowing there are other people out there excited for it motivates me so much. I’ve missed you!


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